How to Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck as Two Spenders (and Still Buy a House) | 474

0:00He's a very hardworking man. And I resisted communicating. Sometimes the way I approached it wasn't wrong or because we had such issues in the past with how we communicated. I think the way to approach it, the way to even have the conversation about budgeting was such, it was very helpful for me because I was really trying to move forward. And like, I was trying to like really unify how we did it between combining our finances, getting mostly on the same page, or at least communicating regularly about it. It was absolutely life-changing.

0:58probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:32We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Caden, thank you so much for coming on our podcast. We were so excited to have you as a client testimonial. Welcome to Financial Coaching for Women. Again, welcome back. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. I missed you guys. So I'm happy to be here. I know. We missed you too.

2:03I know that you graduated coaching, what, in June? Yes. June. Yes. And so we're going to hear all the crazy details that have happened since, but it happened before, after all the things. So we're going to start off, if you want to just tell us a little bit about you and what led you to, I know you came on a free call on the podcast, So like, this is your return, but what led you to coaching? Yeah. So I think I was browsing the good old land of podcasting and I was trying to find something that would give me guidance because it's been a struggle prior to actually setting up with you guys to make sure stuff gets paid on time and just the frustration.

2:43So that's making great money, but having nothing to show for it. And that was your tagline. I was like sold. I didn't mean anything else. I was like, okay, I'm here for it. it's funny you say that because we actually hear that a lot I have a couple clients so like I still listen to the intro of your podcast because it still hits me I'm like I guess we got it right I just remember what's so funny is we did a coaching program and they asked us to do research what are your people what do they say yeah and we've we heard that I make good money I have nothing to show for it some version of that kept coming up and we're like that's it that's the one so yes agreed we all identify with that and yeah so that is so then you came on the call had a little, we had a little fun time.

3:20Then you signed up for coaching. Tell me more what happened after that. I told my husband, which he wasn't my husband at the time, but whatever. But I told him, I was like, so I did this thing. I signed up for coaching and he was very skeptical. He, I just did. I was like, I was at my wits end, I think between us, just it's still being like a struggle. And it was a communication thing that we just haven't quite figured it out. And so I was like, we need help. I believe in coaches. And I was like, what's the problem of having someone help us. And he was like, okay, good luck with that. And he slowly came to the, got on the same page with me.

3:57So tell us, okay, I'm interested in that. So tell us like what led, what conversations did you have with him throughout coaching? What system did you put into place? What was the big kind of like aha moment for him to be like, okay, like I'm now coming along and I trust your, I trust this decision that you made without me. Yeah. Yeah. I think just like the environment that I work at are very big on like coaching in general to like advance in your career and just like you can't do it alone and so I was in a really good headspace and we had a really bad experience when we were early dating on trying to combine everything and it was a hot mess it was okay so he was like PTSD don't never combining finances again we're never ever doing that again two kids later and a common goal to get into a house I was like we have to get on the same page like we have to unite our thinking and our spending.

4:49And so I think that's what got them was like a common goal. Truly, it was like, we really wanted to buy a house. And when I started with coaching, we were in a rental. We, it was just, and it was not, there's nothing bad. We've rented for so many years, but it was just something we'd wanted so badly or so, so long that I was like, wouldn't it be nice to just have our bills paid on time? And just like, what a concept. What a dream. Yeah. I think what's funny is you guys were not, you weren't really in a position to buy the house when you bought it. But before we bought the house, or before you started budgeting, you really weren't.

5:29So talk about that very early stages. Like when you started putting the system in place, we were meeting, we were talking, we're doing. What was that like? What helped you? What clicked for you? What did you start to see working? I think the biggest thing, and I know you said it before in your podcast, is separating. spending from your bills and the system is so simple and so perfect that it just I'm just I just you've tried so many different things and Etsy things and then you feel like you're not doing it right every single month so you throw in the towel I wouldn't by doing coaching I was like I can't throw in the towel I have someone who's going to be keeping me accountable and checking and so that was a piece of it but separating my spending I know that was the first thing like he realized he was like oh so that's how we got everything like it just it clicked for him and we still have it's not perfect like we're not perfect but it's come such a long way like I just think about you guys all the time oh that's so sweet we appreciate that we when Shane and I came together and started talking about what a system looked like we were I was doing my finances a certain way and coming to find out she was doing it basically like the exact same way and like, oh, I think we have something here.

6:40And us coming together and presenting it to our clients. And basically for the first couple of years, it was like a test run. Hey, this is what we think works. What do you guys like? What do you think? And it became this big budget system that really did help change lives. And so we love to hear over and over again that it is a success and that it is helping because it helps validate like, hey, we're not just speaking into a mic. Yeah, and I think you're like everyone else, Caden, in that there's so many things going on with your money that if you don't separate it, it literally is impossible.

7:10And so just that first step clarifies things. I know you guys also have many conversations about, we started, we didn't get to the savings buckets right away. We had debt to deal with for sure, but you guys needed to have conversations about the amounts for spending, right? What was, what we want to put in the budget, what's actually realistic, what we can afford, do we need to dial back? So talk to us a little bit about that. Yeah. Yeah. So I think the key, like just to know about us, we're both spenders in the relationship. I, everyone says there's a spender and a saver or whatever. No, we both like to spend and we do that thing where we deserve this.

7:46We amp each other up. And so we think it's okay. But I think the biggest thing with spending is that I resisted to be realistic with how our habits were. I was like writing it, like how I want it to be versus how we're doing it were two completely different things. So that came in time for clarity to be very honest with myself and how we are individually and as a couple on how we spend. Yeah. But he, you guys liked having the separate accounts at work. It did make a difference, right? A huge difference, guilt-free spending. I think you guys said it perfectly is that we both had our own spending to do what we want with.

8:24It's still not perfect. I keep saying that because we still try to like, we catch ourselves like no we can't so it's a it's a give and take but like my biggest thing when I came into coaching I was like I want our bills to be paid consistently on time we'll get to the debt we'll get to the saving buckets we'll get there but if I can come like consistently with coaching every single bill is paid on time without saying and I don't know why that was like my biggest like breath but it really was like you just don't you don't have a system it's very messy and like You forget to pay something and it's just stressful and it was so stress-free.

9:01Well, and doing it manual like that and not knowing if you have the money to pay for it because everything is in one account and everything is a mess. There's no clear vision or you have no idea what's going on with your money. But I love what you said. I was resistant to being realistic because we see that a lot when we're building budgets. It's the two questions of what are you doing and what do you want to be doing? And sometimes what they want to be doing is less than what is happening. But the reality is if it's never going to change, then let's just put that number in the budget and work around it.

9:30Because what you're going to end up doing is put that on a credit card or you're going to steal from somewhere to make it happen if that's what you want to do. So you might as well just make it part of your budget. Yeah. And I even think even with him, it naturally worked itself out. And that's what we would say if you're listening to this and being like, look, I do want to put$500 in my spending line because I feel like that's realistic. Do it. But what we have noticed often is once you start seeing those savings buckets start, you get some success with debt and you just heal with your overspending.

10:00This deserve, I deserve it. What you start to do is you naturally start to spend less because you know what you think I deserve that trip to Europe or whatever. Like I deserve that future thing that I want for myself. And it naturally happens. So I think one takeaway here is start with the bigger number. Sure. And then if you'll find yourself naturally going down or if, but that was what I would say for that. What I do want to ask about, because you guys were such a special case with, we had so much fun with your debt tracker, you know what I mean? By fun, the least fun probably, but fun. And you had some complicated things.

10:31Like one of the things that you've heard, you have heard, Caden, because you're still listening to me talk about that lovely tool payment plan that he had. And then I don't know if I have talked about his student loans, but I want to, like, I want to. I think you have. It made me so angry and we were angry. So we had, you had some challenges and then, so tell us about like how this debt journey, cause I know you got the bills. You're feeling good about that. You managed the spending and then you did want to get some of this debt taken care of before you really were able to fully fund your savings budgets.

11:00Yes. Yeah. So I think the whole student loan thing with him as he's a welder, he does trades. So he went to a trade school and you sign the dot of line as I feel like most people do. Yeah. Especially 18 year olds. Yep. When you don't know. Yeah. So, I mean, we, we got the certifications, we got what we needed and like going through afterwards, realizing what we signed up for, as far as the payback system was so confusing for me, even going into coaching, I was like, I don't understand this. It was never the same amount. It was very inconsistent. I negotiated to have a set amount each month, but even then it was, it was very, we had no payoff, no pay, no payoff.

11:40They wouldn't provide me a payoff amount. And that just felt very weird and very like discouraging. And so with your help, like we were able to understand exactly what it is that we signed up for. But now that was years later after we've already been paying whatever we've been paying and then come to find out towards the end of coaching, I reached out to them and was able to renegotiate a payoff amount because it got bought over by a different company. And I was like, I could have done this the whole time. why has no one ever explained this to me so I felt very I don't know if taking advantage of is the right word but very probably is yeah I will say that the thing the takeaway there Caden is you kept calling back like I you were never shy to call again and you would even write it in your own notes I wasn't going to say it be like I'm going to call him again I'm like okay call him again and you do that for everybody and I think Vanessa's definitely had clients the ones that were more persistent they got more results and nobody wants to call your creditors Nobody wants to call the people you owe money.

12:36But look, hey, if you can get rid of a debt because they gave you a payoff amount, it's worth it. Worth it. Because phone calls can be super humbling. But also, if it's going to help you get somewhere and help you get ahead, let's make them. We had one client. I had to call the same company five times in the same day before somebody was willing to help me. Before I got somebody on the phone who wanted to. And I'm like, that is terrible. But hey, at the end, it helps her drastically. Yeah, it does. I was shocked when they told me that it was like a significant amount that they were willing to write off and pay off.

13:06And I was genuinely surprised to even find out that was an option. Because that would have been prioritized much sooner should I have been unknown with that. So I think whoever does trade school, don't do it. Yeah, don't do the loans. Avoid at all costs. Pay cash. So what did you accomplish during coaching? Just give us an idea about that. Like what we, hey, we know the bills got paid on time, but what else did you actually accomplish? Learning to cashflow our life. We didn't have to use debt to pay for things. I may not have been able to fund certain things that I wanted to or put as much into savings buckets, but I can confidently say that we paid for everything with cash, that I didn't have to add something or put us in a deeper hole.

13:49And the communication with my spouse, night and day difference. like that. Oh, well, it's such an amazing experience. No, that's so good. And I love how you acknowledge the whole that you've been cash flowing your life. A lot of, I don't say a lot. Some people come into coaching and they may not have made as much progress on debt as they wanted just because of maybe they didn't, the creditors weren't willing to help or they had a lot of debt. So there really wasn't a lot of wiggle room in the budget because they were paying for coaching and they were investing in themselves. They're setting up a system.

14:21So there's a lot of variables, a lot of different situations that happen, but a lot of times they don't see that paying cash and cash flowing your life is a success. And we have to point that out. We're like, Hey, you may not have paid off$50 ,000 in debt. Like a lot of our clients do in six months, but you have not gone back into debt and you have now paid cash for everything since day one. And we just have to remind them that that's a big win. So I just love how you immediately pointed that out. And you're like, listen, I know I'm a winner. I know where, where we've done well. So I think that's good.

14:49What was something when you were coaching with Shana, like what was a big aha moment? What was something that she said or something that happened throughout the process of coaching that like you, it'll stick with you? Oh gosh. So many things. I listened to our coaching calls back a little bit randomly. If I'm in a moment, your guys's podcast is constantly in my ears. So I feel like I'm not on my own anymore. I don't know. You were just, it was a simple solution to every time I was so emotional. I've cried on coaching calls I've just out of frustration or feeling like I'm disappointing just by not following the budget and then you just feel really bad about it and but you were so like nope we got this it was a quick little mess oh look you're falling I'm like what I didn't mess everything up no just I don't know just don't throw in the towel like it's if you even if you don't get your budget right every single month like that was very discouraging for me but I kept at it so here I am yes yeah and the whole idea would I always get this wrong but if you shoot for the moon and you don't make it you'll still land among the stars or whatever there's some way more eloquent way of saying it but what you what happened with you is you would come on and we'd be like okay maybe we just can't do all of this it just turns down a little bit but we're still gonna get there instead of paying 500 to this we're gonna pay 300 and we're still going to get there.

16:10It's still going to happen. And I think that's a really good takeaway for listeners to just know like progress is progress. It may not happen as fast as you want, but it's certainly way better than where you would have been otherwise. But I think another big thing for you guys that is like solving the problems of your life. So he is a welder and they're going to just they prey on him with the student loans. They're going to prey on him with the debt, with the like tools and kind of keeping that revolving account. And you guys came up with having a savings bucket for him so he could pay for tools and cash, work, clothes and cash, different stuff.

16:40Like my favorite, one of our favorite savings buckets that we set up was for the cow. We're going to buy a cow every year and you have these big expenses come and you were, and that would stress you out, of course. So now you have solved for those by setting up your savings buckets, which you were very patient. Remember, didn't you have$20 going in them or like even less at one point? And you're like, here's my little savings bucket. Here's my little savings bucket. But now you can put more in it. yes yeah actually we did and so with his trade you're right they come in like a little ice cream shop with tools like they might as well just play like big horn of music yeah and the tool guy knows me by first name we've had various conversations she'll call him to call i'll manage our accounts as the wife i facilitate this so he knows him very well and so it's been a learning progress because it is it's a convenience thing for the guys when they're out on the field and we've been able to negotiate.

17:32I know you were, it was for the days of coaching, but Dylan did get a promotion. So he got his tool allowance negotiated into his thing. So I no longer have to worry about random tool purchase. So they're not as funded as I'd like them to be as far as between when I graduated and now it's only been like maybe two months. So we still have a long ways to go, but we're still sticking to it, which I think was the most important thing. All right, budget besties. It's time for some real talk. You don't need another budget. You need a budget system. Our simplified budget system is what you've been looking for.

18:09It's going to allow you to be bougie on a budget. You'll be able to easily set up a system that runs automatically and shows you exactly where your money is going. And it's going to give you permission to spend. Everybody loves that. Yeah. It's straightforward, pretty, and packed with walkthrough videos that break down the exact methods we use with our clients to get out of debt, set up a bills account, separate spending, build savings buckets, and end the paycheck to paycheck feel. If you're new to budgeting, this is the perfect way to jump in. And if you're already a budget nerd like us, you're about to meet your new obsession.

18:42This is the upgrade to your finances that you need right now. Yeah. So head on over to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget and grab yours. Now back to today's show. And the other one was his inconsistent income. And that was something else, right? It was, it could be really good or it could be really bad. So speak to how that, like how coaching helps with that. I was actually going to say, cause you made me just think about it is that I never, when you say budget at the lowest amount and then playing off of that, anything over that is extra saying it and seeing it was like light bulbs, like even like writing out our budget.

19:20Now I know at the very least what he's going to be bringing in based off of our history of paychecks. And I think that was very like mathematically speaking, so simple, like 1200 bucks a week. And then you create a budget that fits within that framework. And then, you know, automatically on payday, like for him, it's every week. I can either transfer the difference that's about that amount to my income holding account until I hit that goal. Or I could use that towards my buffer if I need to replenish my buffer. It was just such a clear, I think that just goes to speak with the spreadsheet in the system.

19:57Like mathematically speaking, it was very simple. I don't, it was like magic. I don't know how to, it just happened. I was like, how did this happen so quickly? It just looks so clean. So I think it's just having the other person come in who's not emotionally attached to it, who hasn't been doing it a certain way for so long that can only see it like within these little limits and just suggesting something different. And it does click. We do see it and hear it all the time. I would have never thought about that. And for us, it's so easy. One, because we do it all the time. Two, because we're professionals.

20:26But three, we're not emotionally attached to it. And I think that's a game changer. Yeah, and I think it's like, at this point, it's also, when you say, it makes me laugh. Have you ever seen like those reels of like life hacks and it's, you know, how to use this bottle, how you're supposed to be using this bottle top the whole time and you never knew. Or like the soda can. I was this day old when I found out. Yeah. We all have those. Like, it seems obvious that I would put my minimum paycheck. Maybe it seems obvious, but no one ever told me that. I never even thought about it. I was today years old when I figured out that this could be done and make my life easier.

20:57And that's, if that's what we're doing for you is today years olding for you. We're here for it, whatever it takes, because all we want is what you said. Like when you said you got goosebumps, but the transformation, the conversations you can have with Dylan, like that brings me joy. That's, that's, that's everything. And then you obviously have all these children that you're caring for and this whole family. And so, and that's going to pay forward. But yeah, so we are just, I obviously, you guys, I was, I loved working with you. I never, I don't think I ever actually met Dylan, but it's fine.

21:23We were, we had conversations like we were fine. I think that's a good point though, is that because I was with you for almost a year and he never came onto the coach to call for his own reason. Yeah. He's, he works 50 plus hours a week. He's a very hardworking man. And I resisted communicating. Sometimes the way I approached it wasn't wrong or because we had such issues in the past with how we communicated. I think the way to approach it, the way to even have the conversation about budgeting was such, it was very helpful for me because I was really trying to move forward. And like I was trying to like really unify how we did it between combining our finances, getting mostly on the same page, or at least communicating regularly about it.

22:04It was absolutely life-changing. And not to mention when I started with you, my income was significantly more. And then it got cut more than in half halfway through. So I know like just from listening to your podcast, there are listeners who are like, show us a lower budget or show us something that's on a much smaller scale. That was such a wild experience to go from making a lot of money to cutting it well more in half to learning how to cashflow my life, still pay for things, buying a house buying a house let's do that too getting married I got a lope I decided to just do a like an amazon dress and call it a day got a lope we just we made it work and I'm still I still look I'm shocked I'm shocked that I'm here so it's just wild I think you've had a wonderful journey you've had a great coach to help you with that I tell people when people come on like I could have done it without you like no we just showed you a different way who did all the hard work.

23:00Like you made this happen. We just had a guided light on the ground for you to be able to follow. And you, yeah, you definitely have one of the most willing hearts that I've ever, that I've ever worked with. But I do want to just reiterate the other point that you were making. And then we, I think I got a sidetracked, but that you did this whole thing and you made all of this happen without him ever being able to come to a session or wanting to, whichever one is fine. Like if he just didn't want to, which is fine, I won't take it personally, but that's fine. You still were able to do it. And we talked several times about how to approach it with how to talk about this so that it feels like it's a team, even though he's not in the coaching sessions.

23:32And then you made all this progress because we didn't talk about it, but you did pay off debt. You did start your savings buckets. You guys did manage a huge income loss with a big, a bigger mortgage than you were paying rent. Like all of that, you did it all. And you did it just one person coming to the coaching sessions because it's not always possible for both people. But the most important thing is you guys know where you're going. You're on the same page and you have goals and you're together on it. And that's exciting. Again, he got a raise like, hello, bonus. Yeah. Yeah. And he, that's really how I still approach our conversations is it's us.

24:03It's we, this is our household. This is our life on paper. So when we have the conversations, it's, I think before it was a lot of me versus you. I like, and I was really trying to change how I approached it. And I think really that's what, what I desperately needed was I wanted to fix things with him as far as our communication goes. And I may not have paid off as much debt in comparison to other clients. I don't even know if that was the full heart of my goal. It was needed to make some room in my budget. If I could have walked, I've gotten every goal that I've hit every goal as far as coaching could have provided for me and more.

24:41And just staying connected with the Facebook group and listening to your guys' podcast, it's still like I talked to you. So I was like, jump on a quick testimonial call. Yes. One, two, three, yeah, they're all signed me up. I love it. Yeah. I think that is so important, especially when you were talking about how, you know, that we, us, our, we have a lot of clients that come to us and we'll make decisions or talk about suggestions on a call. And then they'll go back to their husband and they'll be like, Hey, this is what we decided we're going to do. And I'm like, Oh, don't do that. No. I'm like, we need to change that vocabulary.

25:13And I love how you guys worked through how to take what you may have discussed with your coach as suggestions and opportunities back to your spouse and present it in a way where both of you guys make the decision together. So I think that's where you win, right? Even if you don't even have a coach and you're listening to podcasts and be like, Hey, I listened to these girls. This is what they said. This is what we're doing. Let's not do that. Let's come to this and go, Hey, here's some suggestions. What do you think? What are your thoughts on this? And maybe how we, how can we look at this together and decide what's best for us as a team?