How to Stop Playing Catch-Up With Money: Build a Buffer, Organize Your Accounts & Breathe Again | 623

0:00Even though I understand the principle of budgeting, I still feel out of control with my own finances. Not that I am so bad with money. It's that money is so disorganized with one account, two debit cards, and consistent transactions going in every direction, and it's impossible to keep up with. Who has time to keep that or who has space in their brain to keep that? They don't tell us no if we actually ask. You have the freedom to spend while knowing that your bills are taken care of. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future?

0:35Do you want to get debt-free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? If you don't already know how to budget, or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together, or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money.

1:12In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on a conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time.

1:40This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. All right, guys, it's time to ask your questions. You guys send in questions and we love to answer them. If you have a question, you go to budgetbesties.com forward slash ask and ask your question, but now we're going to jump into some of the ones that you guys have been piling up for us over the summer. Yes, I know. So when we get a bunch of them, we do these in batches. So it's really nice to be able to answer them for you. All right. So here's a question we got. It says, hi, ladies. Just reaching out as I can't get my head around that my husband's pay has changed from every other week to the 15th of each month.

2:15She said, I feel I'm just playing catch up and not achieving anything, even if it's not true. She said, for this month, she's like, I am thinking we should pause on our savings buckets transfers for the month only to give us a buffer for the first two weeks of the month my last paycheck for the month is already used up for the following month which is great so she's a paycheck ahead there but it doesn't cover all the bills and spending she said please help with gratitude sweet she's so sweet yeah so basically what she's saying is they are going from getting paid every two weeks to once a month and once a month is definitely all of it once a month on the 15th yeah once a month is challenging no matter but also two weeks of challenging budgeting is hard but especially if you've been used to Vanessa and I have opposite what we're used to pay cycles or whatever and I think if either one of us had to do it the other way it would take a minute it would take I'm tapping out yeah it would take a minute because you're just used to what you're used to yeah and so then trying to figure it completely out that's hard it's hard and we're gonna give you grace for that but I think what she is realizing she had a good idea on how to get around it and she was just hoping for a little reassurance maybe.

3:20Yeah, no, absolutely. Okay. So yes, what we're going to say first is pause your savings buckets because we understand, and we actually know who this woman is and she's amazing and she's kicking butt. But sometimes when you have a shift like this, we call it storm mode when things change, you need to pause maybe your savings buckets. The thing that means it's not the least important, but obviously your bills, your debt payments, and your spending, those are priority. And then your savings buckets are the fun things that are going to happen in the future. But sometimes we have to pause those because we have to reassess our money and reallocate it for what it needs to go for in the moment.

3:55And so she had the right idea. So, yes, we are going to pause for your savings buckets for a month to get that buffer and get a month ahead. She had the idea, and I think it's a good idea. And then just go – so now you're going to – and it's not only that you're pausing. You have to make a new budget. You have to set everything up a little differently than what it was. one thing that's cool eventually is when you only get paid on one day, then there's only one day that stuff has to happen if you want. If you want, you can still make it happen weekly. But like your savings buckets, I love the clients that we can do all of their saving bucket in one fell swoop on one day because they get so much money on the first or whatever.

4:28Love that for you. So this will be your case eventually. Like you said, give yourself that little bit of a buffer of a little minute to catch your breath, get your new budget set up, and then you're going to get yourself two weeks ahead and you're going to stay there. So she's already got the one paycheck ahead. Good job, her. Yeah. So she's almost there. One of the things I will say is I actually had a client who this happened to him as well. And we moved his due dates for all his bills. And he had no idea that that was an option. I said, just call. You know me. I'm not afraid of the ask. So he called probably about three or four of his monthly bills and said, can I please move my due date to the 15th or after?

5:04And they said yes. So what they did was they prorated whatever the amount was, like say you were asking on the 5th or your due date was normally on the 5th. So they would prorate the 5th to the 15th. And then they would start your new billing cycle on the 15th. We absolutely believe that this is something you can do. And if you're looking at things like Netflix or whatever, cancel the subscription, you guys, and restart it on the date that you want the subscription to start again. So there's a workaround here, but don't be afraid of the ask. Call them and you can get payment due dates moved around for you to help.

5:31Okay. All right. So on to our next question. It's a little long. So we're going to break this question down into different in the many questions that she has or different times when we want to say things and we can't hold back. So that's really what's going to happen. OK, so she says, hi, I love your podcast. She's a financial educator for a local credit union and she's been listening to our podcast. She said, I love your theory so much. Theory. I love it. It's a theory, guys. It's not a theory. This is proven facts. No, I'm just kidding. OK, anyway, sorry. So much. I want to put it to test for myself.

6:01I am the bill payer in my household. What a title. She's the bill payer. Even though I understand the principle of budgeting, I still feel out of control with my own finances. Preach. Preach. Okay. And as a household with good income, I'm embarrassed to admit that I've paid bills late and overspend regularly. Yeah. I think the first thing we'll say is that you're not alone. We hear this a lot. Guys, we've had financial advisors, very successful multimillionaire financial advisors come to us and say, I need help with my everyday money management because it's so different. So don't feel like you're alone.

6:33Don't feel like, don't be embarrassed. We are going to, we're going to help you. Yeah. And I think the thing that we've all, the other thing that we've always seen, Vanessa, is this is really just an organization problem because it's not like you're the kind of person. Okay. So there's that, I think it's Nicki Minaj song and she's jumped in my hoop to hoop. I own that. Ain't going to pay my rent this month. I owe that. And I love that line. And so the point is there are some people that just are okay with not paying bills and it's not really a goal, like to pay them on time or whatever. We know that's not your case.

7:05We know that you want to pay your bills. You want to have the right budget. You want to save money. You want to get out of debt. That's actually who you are as a human. It's literally just the organization or the lack of organization that's causing these feelings or causing things to not get paid the correct way or quote unquote overspending. So once you get it organized, once you decide to adopt our quote unquote theory, guess what? It's going to be a game changer. Yeah, it is. And again, And she's listening. It's starting to click for her. So she's starting to get a grasp of what we're putting down, right?

7:36Okay, so her question continues. So this is where your podcast really clicked for me. It's not that I am so bad with money. It's that money is so disorganized with one account, two debit cards, and consistent transactions going in every direction, and it's impossible to keep up with. So there, she acknowledged the problem, okay? We talk about it all the time, guys, that one account, the black hole of transactions, that has got to go. If you're still doing that, we are urging you to try something. We're praying for you. Yes. Do something different with your finances. Please find a bank that will let you have more than one account for free and open up a separate spending account.

8:16Yep. Okay. And it keeps going. It says, in fact, recently I paid the mortgage payment and went about the normal course of spending, then realized that the mortgage payment had not come out and there was not enough money left to cover it. Oh, you guys, this is why the bills account is so magical because this is obviously a problem and we don't want you to have to remember that. Who has time to keep that or who has space in their brain to keep that? No. If you're like me, you're doing good to get dinner ingredients home. I can't go get dinner ingredients and try to remember if the mortgage came out.

8:47Nope. Don't got time for that. Barely did the first thing. You know what I'm saying? So this is why the bills account is so magical. You, if you just never spend out of there and you plan it and set it up like, like we suggest, you will always know how much money you have to spend for groceries or wherever. Was that what she was buying was groceries? Whatever she was buying, the normal course of spending, all of that will be separate and your bills will be over here being paid and everything's working and you don't have to stress and no, nothing gets paid late. And it's amazing. So I know some of you who may have, or still are resistant to taking this leap.

9:17You hear us talk about it. You hear other people come on and talk about how amazing that is. We're asking you to just take a leap of faith and open up that separate spending account so you have the freedom to spend while knowing that your bills are taken care of. And this is the problem is that while you're in the checkout line, the question shouldn't be, okay, I know this is probably about$50. Did the water come out? Did the electricity come out? Did that check clear that I wrote for the babysitter? Did this happen? Did that happen? And then, okay, but yeah, but what is actually my bank account balanced so I can make this payment?

9:45None of that should even be going through your mind. The only thing you should have to do is pull up your bank app, see that you have$300 in your grocery account, and you're only spending$50, and swipe your card. And that's it. And then go home. So that's really the simplicity of the whole system. And that's what it can be for you. It's time to enter your coaching era. Because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works.

10:20You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after-hour support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster.

10:52Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. Okay, so she keeps going. She said, here comes my question. How do I get my husband on board with using two or three different debit cards? Is it possible for me to use the gas and grocery card, the personal spending and the dining out card, maintain the bills account while he uses one card separate from those mentioned for all of his expenses? Or does he have to agree up front for it to work? Thanks for any advice. My thought is maybe I can show him how well this works. Okay. We love the fact that you are trying to be the example because we do say that a lot.

11:27We say sometimes the guys are reluctant to start because they want to be able to make sure that it's going to work. And we get that. But the reality is that it's not going to work if he's using the bills account card or someone's bills account card is still being used and then X, Y, and Z is also happening. We want you guys to sit down and have an honest first to have an honest conversation about what's happening with your money. Yeah. So it will never work if he continues to use the bills debit card. It'll drive you crazy. But what you can do is maybe what you were alluding to. And we've had clients do this where the husband doesn't want three different debit cards.

12:03So that's fine. So what we would do there is we would do the budget regular. Like what is his spending money? What is his gas? What does he do? Does he do groceries? Is he the one that pays when you go out to restaurants? Or do you guys want to split that money in half, whatever the spending budget is, and then you can give him one account like you're suggesting. And you can let him manage all of that money in one account. And that's not the bills account. And then you still have your debit cards. And then as you point it out, maybe he'll eventually see how much easier your life is. Maybe he'll see that having all of that money in one account, he spent it all and now he has no money for gas.

12:37Maybe he will, maybe he won't. And the difference will be it's not going to have this endless refunding of the bills account, right? So I actually have to budget. And so that's why we like the separate accounts. We just talked about, we don't like to have to think about, okay, if I get, if I go out to eat, do I still have money for gas? And then what if I want to get these shoes? Nope. That's why they're all separate. They're all separate decisions. It's very easy, very clear cut. But if he doesn't want that, yes, you can do one spending account card for him and see how that works. Yeah, we do start them in there sometimes because we love them, but sometimes they're not on board with the organization quite as we see it, okay?

13:11And this is fine, but let's start somewhere. And that starting somewhere is giving them one account with one debit card assigned to them. All of your cards should not have overdraft protection, guys, because it is a debit card. So if it doesn't go through, there's not money in there, it doesn't work. That's the whole point. It's holding you accountable. So we want to make sure that we're giving them a card that allows them the freedom to buy groceries if they want, to go to the gas station. Because I don't know, I feel like a lot of husbands just stop at the gas station and just buy things. I have a lot of clients we talk about this and my husband does the same.

13:43I don't even know why. It's fine. And then they can buy whatever they want. Maybe they have advice, maybe they're a hunter or a fisher or whatever that looks like for them and they have the freedom to spend within that one account for them and that works. But let's just start there. Don't assume that it's not going to work. They're not on board. So just continue to give them the bills debit card. Because when you show them the budget, when you have an honest conversation and look and say, hey, I just want you to see what's going on. Sometimes they'll kind of feel bad because they don't know. And it's not that they're mad that it's not working.

14:12It's mad that they didn't understand what was fully happening, what was going on, how it was derailing them that bad. So we just really, again, open communication, show them, explain to them, ask questions, and then allow them to have input. Yeah. And I think that a couple of things come to mind with that. Let me pick it back on that first, which is you have to lay out there why this is important to you. I think Vanessa and I say all the time, they don't tell us no if we actually ask. They're so good to us. Yeah. But I think it might be important for you to say, I am stressed out. This is not working.

14:46I need to do this for me. And I really would love your support. And if you put it that way, I shouldn't guarantee, but we bet that they're going to be willing to come on your side. But a lot of times, like we've said before, it's this in passing conversation. We're not fully explaining the situation. We're not being fully honest. And then, of course, the answer is like, I'm not doing that. I'm not changing. I don't want to change. Nobody likes to change. But if you have that real conversation, it could work. The other thing I was going to go back here and talk about is gas and groceries. So in my household, we have one gas and groceries card.

15:15I do Walmart deliveries for the most part. I don't even really go to the store anymore. and my husband is not really involved. Isn't that nice for him? It is nice for him. He's not really involved. What he will do once in a while is go get something he's going to smoke and I will actually just reimburse his personal account. So he doesn't have to be in the middle of the groceries account. He's not, he doesn't, he's not, that budget part isn't, he's not carrying that card, right? Because he also doesn't like a lot of cards. So you can do that too. If he's not, that's why we're saying with the accounts, figure out what he's actually spending.

15:43And if he's not really a big grocery buyer, you can always just reimburse him if he does happen to stop on the way home from the milk or whatever to help you out. And then it just really, the budget can match your lifestyle that way. Yeah. And listen, I know we say guest groceries account, dining out account, you guys each have your own account and the kids. That is our - Default. Yeah, that's the blueprint for our system. However, everyone's situation is different. So make the guys happy. If they're going to be involved by just giving them the one account, do that, start somewhere. And again, you're not alone.

16:15This isn't just a you problem. We do see it frequently and that's okay, but just give them the freedom to spend. I think that's what the guys want to know. They work really hard. You work really hard for the money that you make. They want to be able to spend some money. So just give them that freedom to do that. If you make good money but have nothing to show for it, this quiz will help you figure out what's really going on with your money and what your next step should be. You'll get a personalized result and a simple action step to help you feel more organized and less stressed. Go to budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz and take the free quiz today.

16:47That's budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz to find out what's really going on with your money.