How to Stop Pop-Up Expenses From Derailing Your Budget | 569

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0:32No shame, no finance bro nonsense, just your next right step. Grab your spot at budgetbesties.com forward slash debt workshop. He's going to be like, I make all this money. I don't know why you're taking it. We've had this agreement for so long. Not in a bad way, but just like what? That's why I think even though he might not enjoy it that much, maybe bring him, make him some brownies. I don't know what you want to do, but have him look at, it might be worthwhile to have you guys sit down and make this budget together because the spending money that he's used to getting and being able to just figure out, you're trying to be like, I need$1 ,000 a paycheck, but it's probably more than that.

1:08But in order to for all of us - It's 100, it's definitely more than that. And so if you want him to change that, which we do, and we want to see it all as together, we're probably going to have to look at all the numbers together. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice. Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes. If you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month.

1:36If you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals.

2:11We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast.

2:37Hi, Jen. Thank you so much for coming on our podcast. We are so excited for you to be here and to share your story and see how we can help. Hi, thank you so much for making time for me. I am so excited. I keep allocating money to buy the program, but something keeps getting in the way, which is just the story of my life. Right. There's always so many things competing for our money. If there's never, it's never, oh, nothing wants my money right now. That never happened. Sneaky little expenses keep popping up. It is so frustrating. So I guess my biggest question right now, because I know that my goal right now, like my first step from watching a lot of your videos and stuff is to try to get a bank account allocated just for the bills to auto pay.

3:26And that's so that once I know my bills are taken care of, my problem is actually getting to a point where there's enough money in that account to actually cover the bills. Cause I really live very close to the edge as far as like due dates and cutoffs and stuff like that. I can't seem to get like that one month ahead situation. And I, it seems to be like my biggest, like the first step is always the hardest. Sure. Yeah. No. So our goal is to get you from living paycheck to a paycheck ahead. And we are going to, we're going to walk through that. So tell us first thing, how often do you get paid?

4:04I get paid twice a month, the 15th and the last day of the months. So there's set days. Right. And my husband is paid every other week. Okay. We're going to use that. Go ahead. Okay. I think it's important to understand that you're not alone. I think this is where we are all living. And that's why you look up a podcast about budgeting because you're tired of living that way. I don't want to be down to the wire or having to wait for every paycheck to make sure everything's good. I would like to just have a system and know that it's working and all that. That's why we're here. And set it up on autopilot, like you said, because girl, we're for that.

4:37So I think part of the first step is to just use the build account the way the build account is supposed to be used. So put all of your income in there and put all of your bills coming out of there. So you're trying, you can do that and then you can work on getting a paycheck ahead. But I think that is step one. Just start. Is to get the bill system running, even if it means on payday is when I'm able to pay the bills at first. I think that way you know that you have the system, you know that you're ready. And then, you know, we can talk about getting a paycheck ahead. So you already get paid on the 30th.

5:11You said the last day of the month. So the way that your pay works is that you will naturally be a paycheck ahead. So you're always going to use that 30th paycheck or 31st, whatever, for the upcoming month. And then you'll use the 15th for that month as well. And then that's the last paycheck you're going to use for that month. Because what does the 30th and the 31st paycheck do for you in that month? It does nothing. So if you really just need a couple day buffer to be able to get you to, so that way you can use that 30th or 31st paycheck for the upcoming month. So you don't need it to cover anything in the current month.

5:46Are you already using the 30th or the last paycheck to start the next month or how have you been, what have you been doing? I'm honest, I'm just winging it. We, I usually, my husband is, makes significantly more money than I do. His checks, which is the ones that are every other week, pays like the bulk of the bills. And my check just is like a cushion if we have to put more money towards the rent or like stuff like that. We all about money goes into one bank account and then I transfer it from that bank account to what would be my bills account. Maybe I should be doing it the opposite where all the money is going into the bills account and I'm transferring it out for spending and for food.

6:30That right there. The first thing that needs to happen is we need to get one piece of paper and see what the budget is in total. So when you're saying his paycheck pays for the bulk of the bills, and I pay him for everything else, we get that conceptually. But what we want you to do is put it all on one piece of paper and see what everything actually is able to do in a month, if we plan it. Because what happens is, okay, we just have to make it to my paycheck. So we can spend this much money. Oh, man, but forgot about the cell phone bills coming out. What happens is you just get in this cycle of I don't really know where we're at.

7:03I don't, I don't know. So what we want you to do is say, okay, when I put everything down on paper, when I put every paycheck he gets, every paycheck I get, I put every single bill that we pay. Now, I actually know where the problem is. We only have a thousand dollars left out for spending and we cost more than that. Or, or the opposite might happen, Jen. And you'd be like, we have way more leftover than it feels like each month. So what is going on there? And then what we want you to do is set all of that up on purpose, right? So you, you can set the bills account to keep as much money to pay all those bills.

7:34So there's no confusion or worry. And then your spending is only what's left over and you can transfer that out. And that separation right there, really good first step. Having all of that money in your bills account, because now you're going to transfer the account that you were transferring out of, that's going to be your bills account. So the peace of mind to know that the money coming in is going to sit there for bills and you're only transferring out your spending. So you're going to swap it right now. that is where it's at shana said that is where the piece comes from when you're only transferring out what you need to spend what you have to spend and again so if you haven't bought the system yet that's okay we would tell you to go to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget template get the free downloadable to put it all on one page so you can actually see this is how much we're bringing in this is where it's going how much do i have left left over is there any leftover are we tight do we need to cut down subscriptions like you really need to ask yourself a bunch of questions and figure that out.

8:32And then you'll be able to see, okay, if we only need, I'm just throwing a number out there. If we only need$3 ,000 a month between gas, groceries, pocket money, camping trip, or whatever you have, you can easily say, okay, then 1500 is going out on the first 1500 is going out on the 15th. And then everything else is in bills. So it doesn't matter when you get paid or when he gets paid. Yeah. Okay. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. It's now it's just the execution that's because i in my brain i can totally comprehend like i what the ideal like ideally what's happening but then things always seem to happen like dance competition and my son's neuropsych and what's it's all these we had to buy a new refrigerator like those things is like what seems to jump out at me derail everything yeah like like things are the pop-up things are a big problem for us like we don't have a that cushion account that's okay so let me stop you there so totally understand exactly what you're saying that's where everyone starts unexpected expenses is what's derailing everybody's budget we're here yeah however that doesn't matter in what we're saying because your bills have to get paid whether you have a dance competition or not so right the first step is to get it all on paper and make sure Or if I, like Vanessa said, if I know I have$4 ,000 of whatever we make every month that has to go for bills, right?

9:59Then I can leave that in the bills account for the rent, for the subscriptions, whatever. Then I know, I'm sure you guys make more than this, but like she said, if I have$3 ,000 left, that's all I have. And whether it's for a dance competition, whether it's for groceries, like I know that's what I have to work with. So if I want to be able to pay for this thing, we're not going out to eat as much, or hopefully you have enough to do all the things that you want, but we still have to fund the bills no matter what, and the debt minimums. those have to get paid. So it doesn't matter what the unexpected, what we can do then is, is like, and I said, now I have peace of mind.

10:27Those are paid. And now I know this is the actual leftover amount that I can budget with. And from there, we want you to start simple with gas groceries, spending money, but then you can start savings buckets for those bigger things that are unexpected. You'll have an emergency fund for when the thing breaks and you don't know what to do. You'll have a kid's activity savings bucket that you're putting a little bit into each month so that when these big fees come or big tuition or competition fees or whatever, or leotards or what are they called? They're called leotards. You'll have the money set aside and you don't have to figure out in the month where you're going to come up with it.

11:01Okay. And that would be so step one is to at least download the template and get everything on paper. And then step two would be get your system going here. Obviously, that's amazing. You'll love it. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done for you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps and after-hour support, you can text and email.

11:48So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster. Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. I think the step two for you is if you're already paying all of your bills out of that separate bills account, then you just need to change your direct deposit into that account.

12:22It's going to be, yeah, because then it's just you talking to HR, your husband talking to HR, instead of having to change 20 bills. So you can change your direct deposit to all go there. And then the account that you have now that you're using, that you have a debit cards out of, if you need to start with one spending account, do that. Start there. If like we said, if you have $3 ,000. Again, we're throwing numbers out there. If you have$3 ,000 for spending, throw it in there and that is your cap. That's all you have. So you have decisions to make, but that's okay. Now you have that peace of mind to know all of my bills are taken care of.

12:53This is the account that I have to buy all the other things with. Yeah. And so like you said, download that budget, put it all on there. So start with the debts and the bills, because a lot of times we have you guys come in when we're doing one-on-one private coaching and you're like, oh, when I get all on one piece of paper. Like I just had a new client start and she had literally four or five different channels for streaming services. And I said, friend, you might as well get a cable bill at this point. This is not like, I didn't, I wasn't even, she was just thinking the little, they get you with the little prices, but when you have them all up.

13:23So once you see everything on one piece of paper, that will be very helpful. But what it does, what you do, Jen, is you say, okay, here's all of our total income. Here's my debt minimums, everyone that I have to pay every bill that I could find. I went searching and hunting for all of them. I add those together and subtract it from the income. That's what you're going to do. And then like Vanessa said, you can start, just put that money over in one account, each paycheck or whenever. And that's what you have to spend. You can get more complicated, like we said, or not complicated, but more systemized.

13:53Like we say, where you, it's specific to gas and specific to my spending. I'm saving it for dance. I'm saving it for vacation. You can split it all up and it is better to do that, but you don't have to start there and just start with having it completely separate so you absolutely know here's what I can spend and here's what I have to save for bills. This solution right here doesn't require you to open up any other accounts is what we're saying. Like you can literally start this tomorrow, today. You can go to HR, have that direct deposit change, and immediately your next paycheck, like all this whole system can start.

14:22Okay. Okay. Okay. And before I let you go, because I know that we have We have a small window. As far as debt, you guys think the snowball method is best? The avalanche method? Like which method do you guys prefer? It really just depends on your situation. I had a coaching client, you'll listen to it on the podcast when we have our lessons from the sessions come out, but she had her tax return come back. And instead of using it to do the snowball method, we just used the whole amount to pay off one debt because it was her highest interest rate and she could clear the whole thing out. So it really just depends on where you are, how much money you're going to get back by clearing out what debt and how much money you're going to get back in your budget.

15:04So you just have to ask yourself a couple of questions when you're deciding. Yeah. The default method really is snowball. Yes. Yes. Because that's usually what we can all do monthly. But a lot of times there are months or moments where you have a bigger amount of money and then you want to be strategic of what you choose to pay off. Even as I said with that client, we can get this big thing done and get that money, that big payment back into our budget and stop paying all this interest, which is a lot. But normally in a monthly budget, she wouldn't have been able to do that. She had to wait to share the bulk of money.

15:34So generally the snowball is going to be where you start. And then here and there, you might be able to like move to the other one. And I'm going to do this. I'm going to get there. You are. Yes, you are, girl. And maybe sitting down, how much does your husband enjoy talking about budgets and numbers? not at all okay and and that was a I think and honestly when we first started I was doing really well financially and he was still getting his getting into his life and when we first started I was like this is my money and this is your money and we're this is how it's happening and now things are obviously we have kids now and now I'm more hands-on mom and he works more and it's hard to get out of that like my money your money type of a thing so it's not so your money is separate or together we have he has an account i have an account and then we have two quote-unquote joint accounts my account has zero money in it so it doesn't mean anything so his paycheck a portion of it goes into his personal account and a portion of it goes into the account that i use for bills and so that's like it's it's again like it's bad habits.

16:46It's just like we split it up. And so I was like, I need, let's say a thousand dollars a paycheck to pay for the bills and you can keep the balance. So this is why I asked this because we've had this with our clients over and over. And I want to get a bad conversation that's going to happen because he's going to be like, I make all this money. I don't know why you're taking it. We've had this agreement for so long, not in a bad way, but just like what that's why I think even though he might not enjoy it that much maybe bring him make him some brownies i don't know what you want to do but have him look at it might be worthwhile to have you guys sit down and make this budget together because the spending money that he's used to getting and being able to just figure out you're you're trying to be like i need a thousand dollars a paycheck but it's probably more than that but in order for all 100 it's definitely more than that and so if you want him to change that which we do and we want to see it all is together we're probably going to have to look at all the numbers together so that everybody can be on play.

17:42And here's the other thing too, is I had a client took her months to have this conversation with her husband, but once they saw it all on one paper, he freaked out. So just know he may freak out, but it's because you've dealt with it. Like you've been handling it and dealing with it for a couple of months. You've had time to process this may be the first time that he's seeing it and he may not had, he's not going to have time to process. You're just going to be like waiting for a reaction or a response. So just let him be upset. Think about it. But you need to be transparent. You have got to show him exactly what you guys cost.

18:13It doesn't matter how much he makes or you make. It doesn't matter. You guys are a team. You're in. You're married. You're doing this together. My husband paid off my student loans when we got married. Do you think he threw that back in my face? No. Like we were a team. I went to school when I had babies. That was what we chose and decided to do together. Just show him how much you guys cost. and he's going to understand. But yeah, sure, there may be some feelings or emotions at the beginning and that's okay. Yeah, I think I feel like it's, I'm probably more anxious than I need to be because I think that once he realizes if we do things this way, paying the bills won't be so stressful.

18:50Like the money won't, it's always like, why are we so broke? We do okay. Why is there never any money? Like it's always like a struggle. And maybe if he sees it all on paper, he'll understand why you're also trying to do it all based on hopeful numbers instead of real numbers just like i'll just take a thousand and it'll i'll make it work and because you're trying to honor you're trying to honor him then you've got the dance thing that comes up and this other thing and then you're like okay it didn't work and we're gonna have a conversation and hopefully it'll make a lot of sense and again lots of we us our goals our dreams our vision when you go to make the spending budget you're gonna have his pocket money and her pocket money we're gonna to make sure we really highlight that part so that he knows money's still going to your account.

19:32It's just a little bit different the way we're going to have the paycheck come in the bills, and then we're going to put money back into your account for spending. Right. Just so that he knows that's still going to happen. And you guys will assign a dollar amount once you figure out what you have available and what's left over after the bills. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm excited for you guys. It's going to be a very, not hard conversation. It's just going to be, yeah, it's going to be a conversation that you guys are going to have at first, but y 'all are going to grow from it. And like Shana said, the words us, we, our, those are all great ways to have this conversation.

20:02And like Shana said, you are going to now deposit the money into the bills account, and then he'll still get his money. You'll still get your money. But we need to have a realistic amount of spending money versus just, hey, babe, take the lesson. I'm going to try to make this work. And I do have one more question. Did you, are you using credit cards to try to make it work? No. Oh, good. No, we're not. Or did you? I recently what I did was I did like this debt consolidation thingy. And I so I have no credit cards. But for like years past, were you trying to make it work with credit cards? We were I was using the credit cards like for clothing for the kids and shoes.

20:42And it was I was I never used the credit. Maybe twice use a credit card like to buy groceries. But it was more like things like that popped up. Need a new coat, new pair of glasses. My daughter wanted contacts, like things like more like tangible things, not necessarily luxury items. Like if all the money was allocated to pay the bills, there was no money for the stuff that we needed to buy. That came up. Yeah. And this is what we hear. Like that was with my client situation. She's I never told him our financial situation because I didn't want to burden him and I made it work and she racked up like four credit cards unknowingly and not on purpose, but it just happened.

21:20So anyways, yeah, I think it's going to be really good for you guys to look on paper and see everything. And eventually you'll come back. Once you get this all set up, the next step will be a set of savings buckets for those things so that you never have to rely on debt or you can figure out how you're going to pay for them in the month. And that'll be with savings buckets for all those unexpected expenses that pop up. Down the road. Yeah. Okay. But if all my money's in my bills account, at least I know my actual bills are paid and I'm not taking the money allocated for my cell phone to get my daughter a new pair of sneakers.

21:49Yep. There you go. Love it. Yes, Jen. It's going to be great. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate you meeting with me. Bye, Jen. If you make good money but have nothing to show for it, this quiz will help you figure out what's really going on with your money and what your next step should be. You'll get a personalized result and a simple action step to help you feel more organized and less stressed. Go to budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz and take the free quiz today. That's budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz to find out what's really going on. you