Money Mindset Reset: Stop Avoiding Your Numbers | Reair: Mama's Tired with Rachel Kind | 580

0:00Our bread and butter is people who make good money but have nothing to show for it. 73 % of Americans don't actively budget. You're stressed about money, but you're not budgeting. Your bank can be your personal assistant. You set it up once, and then you don't have to rely on willpower or anything to keep it going. She told me she never once had to worry about budgeting. She could be present in her real life. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt-free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice?

0:30Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes. If you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working. But guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Francie. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money.

1:03In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account, or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time.

1:31This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Hey, budget besties. We recently had this conversation on another podcast, and it was too good not to share here too. Yeah. We hope you enjoy it. There's just so much. For some reason, there's a lot of shame around money. And I feel like a lot of people feel that they should be ashamed if they want to spend money on themselves or if they want to splurge on a little something here and there. And that really is what we're trying to, what we're trying to remove because you can actually set aside some money for you to spend personally, and you can go at it and feel no guilt, no shame about it.

2:09And also at the same time, know all your bills are being paid, all of your groceries are going to be funded, all of that kind of stuff. And so we just wanted to set up a system so you can very clearly see that. And the other thing about it, Rachel, is when you're talking about stay-at-home moms specifically, we noticed that a lot of our stay-at-home moms, they didn't want to do the beans and rice thing because they have a bougie, healthy food, crunchy, live-in budget. And so we wanted to accommodate that. We believe that your health starts with your food. And so we want to figure out how you can budget that, not just automatically mean the answer is no.

2:40Rachel Kind:Oh, I love that so much. And you're speaking to my heart when you talk about the stay-at-home moms that want to be healthy because honestly, that's where a lot of our money goes in the King household because that's one thing that I am not going to compromise is buying good, healthy, nutritious food for my family. Anybody that knows my backstory knows that I live in the South and we grew up on fried food and everything was sugar and fried in oil and all the things. And so I had a very unhealthy childhood and I want that for my kids. I don't want my kids to grow up and have to relearn how to do everything.

3:19Rachel Kind:Yeah. So I don't compromise on that. And so I love that you guys are figuring out a way to make that happen for families. That's so important. I think that's good that you realize that. And that's the standard that you set in your family. But a lot of people, when they go to make a budget, they automatically roughly assume, like Shana was saying before, the answer is no, that the answer is you have to live on less. You have to have a smaller grocery budget. You have, you can't ever go out to eat. You can't ever take the kids out for ice cream because you have X, Y, and Z you have to take care of and that you have to be able to afford.

3:51But it really boils down to looking at your numbers as a whole. A lot of people have no idea what they can spend because they haven't looked at their bank account. They have no idea how much money we've even asked people like, Hey, do you how much money you bring in a month. They have no idea. But if you do look at it, then you can actually prioritize what's important to you and put it in your budget because people are putting unrealistic numbers in there thinking that they can hit, oh, I can make this grocery budget work for my family. When the reality is you may have been spending double on that for groceries because health and nutrition is very important to you.

4:24So I think setting those realistic expectations and putting them in your budget and saying, look, this is a non-negotiable for me. It helps you budget like better and it makes you be successful when you're budgeting versus when you're putting these numbers in there that you know you're never going to hit and then you always feel like a failure because you will say quote unquote I can't budget yes and that's why so many people quit because they think that they can't do it right two things that I really want to get your take on

4:49Rachel Kind:because I know you ladies talk about this inflation inflation is real and we've seen it in our household and also I know you talk about how there are lots of families and businesses even where people are making really good money, but then they never have anything left over. And some of them are even in debt and struggling. So what do you suggest that these people do? Our bread and butter is people who make good money but have nothing to show for it. And really the first step, Rachel, is inflation is not anything that we can necessarily control. But what we can control is looking at our own numbers.

5:23And you'd be surprised, like even maybe in your situation, maybe your husband's like really in on your numbers. and it's not that you couldn't know the numbers, Rachel, but he's taken the lead on that. You'd be surprised how many people don't really truly know their full numbers. That's why our budget that we've created is not like any other budget you're gonna find. There's no fixed or variable expenses, all these words that you know because you're so smart on all that. It's real life words. So we want you to put everything on one piece of paper, your income, your debt payments, your bills, right?

5:52And that's anything with the due date. And then we're gonna have a column on our budget called spending, which is everything that you spend. groceries, gas, going to get coffee, whatever it is. And then we have a line in there for savings. And what we need you to do is put all of that on paper. Because what happens, Rachel, a lot of times people think that they don't have anything left over, or they think that the numbers are a certain way, and it's like wrecking balls in their head. But once they get it on paper, one, you can see what the reality is, what the actual math is showing. But two, once it's on paper, then we can actually start to make some choices, right?

6:24There's a lot of choices. There's a lot of things that we can change about the budget once we're actually looking at all the numbers on one piece of paper? Yeah. The first thing that people think that to do in a situation like this is to cut, where can I cut? Where can I say, no, we have to get rid of all this stuff. We think once you put it on paper, which this may be the first time you've ever put it on paper like this before. Okay. You can put words and numbers, words and numbers on paper and call it a budget, but if you don't do anything with it, then it's not really working for you. So we have our system set up, like Shayna said, the five columns to be able to see exactly where your money is going with this income.

6:57It's all of this is happening with the bills, the savings and the spending. But once you are able to put it all on paper, then you can say, okay, what's important to me? What is a non-negotiable for me? What do I want to make sure that we are doing every month or we have the money to be able to do every month? And you put those in your budget and then you can look at and go, okay, why do we have five subscriptions that we never use? Why do we have a gym membership that I never use? Now we're not against the gym membership. I'm saying if you don't use it. So that's where people, sometimes people ask us, where do you, what's the first thing you tell people to cut?

7:28I'm like, we don't tell people to cut anything. We ask the question, what do you want to do? What brings you joy? What are your goals? And, but if there are things in your budget that don't align with your goals, things that you're paying for that you haven't used in six months, then they have to go. And then we can work from there. Yeah. And a lot of times people think that they have nothing left over. We call that, it might feel like you're living paycheck to paycheck and there's nothing left over at the end of the month. A lot of times that's because everything's in one account and you really don't know.

7:56I'm swiping this amount for groceries or at the restaurant or whatever. And I'm not sure if I have it, but I think I maybe do. And so that's something that we definitely want you to be able to look at with your budget and know on purpose what's really happening and knowing on purpose what I actually have left over if I set it all on one piece of paper.

8:16Rachel Kind:I love that. I think it really is just sitting down and looking at it. And like you talked about in the beginning, there's so much shame around number one, wanting to spend money. And number two, these people that are in debt and they just, they don't want to look at it. They just want to put a pin in it and set it to the side and not even talk about it. And I'd love to hear your take on that too. We just, we have a little, little graphic that we drew up about this, but it's basically, you're an ostrich and you have your head in the sand. You don't want to look at anything. And what we really want you to do is be a giraffe, like tall and like, you can see everything and you have vision and goals and dreams, and then you're standing tall and you're confident.

9:01So that's really where we want you to go from is being that person with your head in the sand, not wanting to look at it, being shameful or having the shame around it to saying, you know what, it may not look as good as I want it to look, but I know what's going on with my finances. And I'm confident that I'm going to do something about it because I've put it all, I've put it on paper and I'm going to make a plan. Yeah. And when we say paper, we actually have a digital version of the budget and it does all the math for you, Rachel. And when we were talking about the columns, the second column after your income, which is the best number in your budget.

9:31We love that number. Yay. Positive. The second column is the debt column. And we want you to see like specifically how much am I paying in debt minimus every month? Because that is, can be a bummer, but it also, So at least like Vanessa, it puts it front and center. So it's something I can do about. And a lot of times when people are struggling, it's because they're relying on debt or they have such large debt payments that it's just stealing all of their income. So then we want to put that front and center so that we can try to get rid of some of that debt and get some wiggle room back into your budget.

10:01And we actually, just as a side note, because I know you mentioned struggling, I know you mentioned inflation. If you truly are struggling because of debt, we have a debt relief workbook. don't believe in the debt consolidation, doing any of those loans or going with any of those programs. We know that you can do it yourself. You actually, we teach you how to negotiate all of this stuff for yourself because a lot of times creditors will work with you. They can lower your interest. They can lower your payments, but you just have to know what to ask and how to ask it. And so you can grab that at budgetbestings.com forward slash DIY debt relief.

10:29But if that's actually your problem, there are some solutions out there that can give you some breathing room, but really just putting it all on paper and seeing where you stand is really the first step.

10:40Rachel Kind:I love that. And that's something that a lot of people don't know. And then they just continue to spiral. So I love that you guys are addressing that and giving some people some options. We're big advocates of don't be afraid of the ask, right? If you just make a phone call and plead your case, the worst case scenario is they say no, which barely happens in the situation we've seen in the last six years with working with our clients. But the best case scenario, which does happen all the time, is they do work with you and they have a plan in place already on your account. as soon as you call, ready to help you out.

11:12It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah, imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps and after-hour support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which by the way, they always do.

11:51If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster. Six months from now, you'll wish you started today.

12:07Rachel Kind:Yeah, most people really are just good humans. And if you're trying, they're going to work with you. Yeah, absolutely. Awesome. So I know we touched on this about how I actually have a degree in accounting, but my husband does our finances because when we first got married, I would just tell him how tired I was of looking at numbers all day. I did it at work. I didn't want to do it at home. And it would also stress me out because I had looked at it all day. And I know we have a lot of people who aren't necessarily in the accounting industry, but the numbers do stress them out. And when they finally get in that mindset where they've gotten their head out of the sand and they're like, okay, let's do this.

12:43Rachel Kind:They start looking at the paper and they're like, okay, I can't do this. So I'd love to hear how you ladies take the stress out of money and make people excited to budget. What, you know, I think the first thing to do is just realize that it's not a taboo conversation and it's actually a way for you and your spouse to come together and set vision and goals for your life. And if you guys make it a fun date night, I know she and I'll let her talk about it, but she does like the brewery and budgets. You can do bourbon and budgets. You can do snacks and budgets, like whatever you want to call it. Just make it a fun gathering with you and yourselves to be able to have this conversation of, hey, this is where we stand.

13:20Are we on track? Are we not on track? What do we need to tweak? What do we need to adjust? And then also if it's the first time you've ever sat down, what do we want our money to do for us? What are the goals and visions that we have? So that way you can make sure that your budget aligns with that. Yeah, we did a national research study, Rachel, and we found that 73 % of Americans don't actively budget.

13:42Rachel Kind:Oh, my word. And 55 % of them say that it's the number one stressor in their life. It's going hand in hand. You're stressed about money, but you're not budgeting. And 40 % of people were avoiding checking their bank account, which I was equating to you looking at the numbers. They don't want to look at the numbers. They avoid it because they don't want to see it. Yeah. What we would offer is like Vanessa said, you're stressed. It's actually because you're not looking at the numbers. But to your point, we are trying to make it exciting and less stressful. So what we say is we have a budget system.

14:14You set this up and your bank can be your personal assistant. It can actually set your budget up to pay your bills automatically, to give you spending money automatically and to save money automatically according to how you want to. And then it's like this, Rachel. Okay. On January 1st, if you have a goal to lose weight or get in shape or whatever, you have to go to the gym January 1st. You have to go January 2nd. Then you have to go January 3rd. And you know what? Then you also have to go January 4th and 5th. Like you have to go every day. Here with this, you can set this up and you don't have to look at the numbers every day.

14:46You don't have to be stressed. You set it up once and then you don't have to rely on willpower or anything to keep it going. It goes on itself. And that is exciting. And then the other thing about making it excited is we've noticed that as the system works, people get excited. They're like, oh, it's petty. I got money in my spending account. Or they're like, oh, my savings bucket, my trip to Disney is growing. It's growing. It's growing. And so it can be fun and exciting. And we also see sometimes where the breakdown of communication happens is where someone's running out the door and they're like, hey, babe, we have blah, blah, blah, blah.

15:16Like whether that's we have to pay this on debt or we have no money or they're trying to have some financial conversation on the go. and they're not actually sitting down together and they're both in the right mindset, like you said, being able to talk about money. So then these financial conversations are happening all the time that don't really need to happen all the time. So once you get this system set up and you have a meeting, we like to say there's 365 days in a year. We're asking for 12, 12 of those days to sit down once a month with your spouse and make a plan for your money for the upcoming month.

15:48So that way, both of you know what's going on. And then maybe once you get everything done, like Shana was talking about having your bank account be the personal assistant, maybe check in the mid month just to make sure everything is where it needs to be and you're going good. But for me, girl, I set my budget up and everything is automatic. I know Thursday morning, everything gets replenished from my bank app. And I don't do anything because I set the system up at the beginning and it's all taken care of.

16:13Rachel Kind:I love it. I love systems. You guys know that. So this is like my jam. Just set it up once. You got to keep, like you said, once a month, but you set it up, you do the grunt work at the beginning and then you maintain it and it's good to go. Yeah. And I do want to say, this is a really funny story and your listeners may not completely relate, but it's a little relatable, Rachel. We had a client who came to her first financial coaching, because we do one-on-one coaching with a bottle of wine. She was so anxious to look at her numbers, to talk about budgeting. She was so anxious. She needed that crutch, right?

16:48And, and, and we obviously were, I didn't have any wine. Okay. I don't know how people do math and drink wine. It's not going to happen for us, but she was okay. And then fast forward to after she graduated coaching, she let us know that she had set this whole system up, like to your point once. And unfortunately her husband was diagnosed with cancer and she spent the whole summer, obviously focused on him getting through recovery and getting his treatment and everything. And she told me she never once had to worry about budgeting because she, or money, she had set this system up it was money was going into her gas and groceries account every payday so she never had to worry if she could go to the grocery store money was going into her homeschool account so that she could get the classes or whatever that needed to do for the kids money was going into their savings for christmas and for vehicle maintenance automatically and her bills were being paid automatically so she had to put no energy or effort into actually budgeting she could be present in her real life and that's like the journey from being so anxious like you were talking about looking at my numbers to being able to just let it run automatically.

17:46Think of a situation that could have happened in your life, or if there's a listener out there, think of something like this that may have happened to you, whether it was a death in the family or something, and you had to worry about finances. That is the last thing that you want to worry about. And you want to be fully present in that moment to take care of what's truly going on. And that's what this system has allowed for so many of our clients.

18:07Rachel Kind:It's just so freeing, like in so many ways, like you said, if you have some major life event happen, you want to be present for your spouse. You want to be present for your kids. You want to be present for your friends, your family. You don't want to have to worry about those things and setting it all up to run for you and to work for you. Like you get to be in charge of this. You don't have to let it control you, but you get to control it. If you make good money, but have nothing to show for it, this quiz will help you figure out what's really going on with your money and what your next step should be.

18:39You'll get a personalized result and a simple action step to help you feel more organized and less stressed. Go to budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz and take the free quiz today. That's budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz to find out what's really going on with your money.