Money Mindset: Why You Need a Budget Before You Build Wealth with Shari Rash | 596

0:00So there's so many things working against us that it's really you're you're really swimming upstream to try to fight, fight it and go and do the right things. It's like speaking English and overhearing a conversation in French. There's nothing wrong with you that you don't know French. So I flipped everything on its head. I wasn't talking about investing or rollovers or anything like that until those smaller foundational issues were resolved. You can just like see like the shoulders go down and everything just get a little bit more relaxed.

0:34Vanessa:Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? If you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place.

1:03Vanessa:We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:33We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid

1:39Vanessa:off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. All right, Sherry, we are so excited to have you on Financial Coaching for Women. So we want to talk about, you know, we really, really hone in on budgeting over here, but you are kind of in a different, like adjacent spot where you're really helping women kind of that next level with their confidence with money and with maybe even growing wealth and really trying to think about those, those topics from a female perspective.

2:14So tell us a little bit about that. Yeah. So I have been a financial planner for seven years now. I've had my own financial planning firm, but I've been in the industry since I graduated college and for 20 some years. But what I found was that women don't feel confident making decisions about money for many reasons. And that could be many podcast episodes we have about it. But it comes down to a lack of confidence and a lack of education. Women want to understand what they're doing with their money and why. And I found that making a big decision with their money, which, you know, for example, leaving your company and rolling over your 401k, your retirement plan to an IRA, that's a big decision.

3:07Many advisors do that in their sleep, right? It's no big deal for us. But for my client, it's a really big deal. and I was hitting roadblocks with them. And I started to ask more questions and figure out why. And the why was because they weren't confident with their spending. They didn't have a budget. They weren't sure of how much money they should have in their checking account. Do they have enough cash in their emergency fund? So it was like all these other questions that seemed small, but that was what was inhibiting them from making those bigger decisions. So I flipped everything on its head.

3:52I wasn't talking about investing or rollovers or anything like that until those smaller foundational issues were resolved.

4:02Vanessa:Now, we love that because we were just on your recording for your podcast and we had a similar conversation of people want to invest. They want to build wealth. they want to know what that next step is once they get budgeting under control. And it's, you know, for us, it becomes automatic for our community once everything is running. And so they're like, okay, well, what's next in my financial, my financial journey? And, you know, really is it's planning, investing and all of that. But you have to make sure you have that foundation set first, you have to make sure that you're not only budgeting for the everyday things, right, gas, groceries, and your monthly bills, but you're budgeting for all the other big things, your yearly travel, Christmas presents, birthdays, you know, annual bills, all the things that we call unexpected expenses and we have savings buckets for.

4:44Vanessa:So I think that's really good that you're making sure that all of that is set for them first, and then you take them on to the next step. Well, and I think there's so many layers when, when women aren't feeling confident with their spending, it's because, you know, I, we're wives, I'm taking care of all the kids stuff, all of the groceries, all of the things like the bug guy coming, like all of these random things, you know, not necessarily every relationship is like that, but I think a lot of them are like, you're taking care of the household, maybe also you have a career, but doesn't mean that you're not doing that.

5:15And so they think I'm bad with money, or I have a spending problem. But it's like, no, actually, it's not like you're out buying product or whatever, you know, like, it's just that there's so much going on that your money has to go, you know, spread around. and it feels chaotic. It feels like you're not doing a good job, but it's just because it's unorganized. It's not because you're a bad spender or you're spending too much. But I think that lack of confidence comes from where you're responsible for all of this, but maybe you haven't been taught or shown really how to look at it and how to manage it or how to plan it or whatever.

5:47And there's just so much going on, you know? Right. We're not taught it. And if someone does try to teach us it, it's likely a male voice. And men and women speak very differently and think very differently about money. So it's literally two different languages. So if you think about maybe when you're a little girl and your father was talking to you about money or explaining something to you, or if you're at a family party and the uncles are discussing their stock pick or the bros are talking about why they're an investing genius and you're overhearing this conversation going, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

6:28It must be a me problem. I don't get it. It's a me thing. It's not. It's like speaking English and overhearing a conversation in French. There's nothing wrong with you that you don't know French. It's a different language. And we beat ourselves up about it and we shouldn't. It's not us. So it's women think about money in terms of what it can do for them, how it can help me achieve my goals, go on vacation, do this for my child, make an improvement to my house, retire someday. So that's how women think about money. It's a way to achieve things, which, yeah. I was just going to say, when I was thinking about all these men that this woman has at the holiday party or wherever she was, it's gamified for them.

7:17And it's like a scorecard. And it's like, you know, this, as you said, these bros and all their how they're a genius at this and that, because I'm sorry to interrupt, Sherry, but we get a lot of husbands that really think, well, this HELOC is going to solve this problem, because I've done the math. And we're like, oh, goodness, I don't know. But you're right, they just have a different take. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Men think of it as performance. So what what the what what the account is going to achieve, what the investment is going to achieve. So like just to wrap up the point, like if I'm sitting down with a husband and wife client, I'll say your account returned 15 % this year.

7:52That is a check for the male brain, which means you're on track to retire in XYZ years, which then appeals to the female brain. So it's two completely different languages.

8:06Vanessa:Right, where they're hearing percentages and the wife is like, okay, but tell me what that means. How do we internalize that and put it on? Yeah, how does that make it a reality? I remember when my husband and I paid off our mortgage, we got so much slack from all of his buddies and work people. Like all of his business associates were just giving us so much slack about it because in their eyes, it wasn't a good investment because we can make so much more money doing other things with it. And we're like, you're missing the point from what we want out of this. we wanted the security. We wanted to know we didn't have that whatever thousand dollar payment a month.

8:40Vanessa:And it allowed us to be able to put our kids in private school. It opened up so many doors for us. But the man, the men, I want to say all men, but they couldn't see it because it didn't compute in their brain as a good investment. Yeah, absolutely. And it that's where it comes down to what do you want your money to achieve for you and how can you do it and and making lifestyle shifts or shifts in the way you think about money or the way you're spending money the way you're budgeting in order to achieve those things so when you're working with these women and helping them figure out their spending and figure out that stuff out so that you can help them build wealth what what are some signs like what is like the before and after as far as you know they come in they don't feel confident, they don't know they're spending, like, how do you help them get to that next level where they are confident, and they can talk to all the guys at the holiday party, because they call they know all the things.

9:38Yes. So when I'm working with women, I mean, I'm generally working with women that have done some good things, right? They, they, they feel like they're doing the right, well, they're doing the right things, but they don't feel that way, because no one's ever explained it. They're kind of just winging it. So generally when I start working with women, there's just a lot of questions like, am I doing this right? Am I, you know, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing with money. I hear this, I hear that. And so first we're just taking an inventory. Like, where are you? Where do you stand? And a lot of times just explaining stuff and organizing the accounts.

10:21I don't know if you see this with your clients a lot, but I have a come up like there's bank accounts everywhere. Bank accounts, savings accounts, checking accounts. There's so many. And this one's for this.

10:30Vanessa:This one's for tuition. I'm like, no. It's like you're trying and they think that they understand it, but they're not quite there yet. It just needs some fine tuning. Exactly. All right, budget besties, it's time for some Real Talk. You don't need another budget. You need a budget system. Our simplified budget system is what you've been looking for. It's going to allow you to be bougie on a budget. You'll be able to easily set up a system that runs automatically and shows you exactly where your money is going. And it's going to give you permission to spend. Everybody loves that. It's straightforward, pretty, and packed with walkthrough videos that break down the exact methods we use with our clients to get out of debt, set up a bills account, separate spending, build savings buckets, and end the paycheck-to-paycheck feel.

11:16If you're new to budgeting, this is the perfect way to jump in. And if you're already a budget nerd like us, you're about to meet your new obsession. This is the upgrade to your finances that you need. Now back to today's show. So a lot of organization and just simplifying. And like as we're going through the simplification, it's like I work virtually with all of my clients. You can just like see like the shoulders go down and everything just get a little bit more relaxed. And like as I'm coming up with new ideas or investments or strategies, it's just becoming, yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great.

11:54Where before is like a laundry list of questions. But because we've addressed all those things that have been keeping them up at night for years and years, I've already addressed it in the meetings before. When new ideas come or new strategies, it's like, yeah, that's great. Let's do it. That makes total sense. And then you can explain it at the cocktail party. Like you can say, this is what I'm doing to make my financial life better because that is my goal. Like I want my clients to be able to explain it to their friends and say, this is what I'm doing. And this is why my life so much better since working with Sherry.

12:27Vanessa:I think it's good. It's one of those, what is it they say? You don't understand something until you can teach it to somebody else, right? You don't fully understand it. So I think that's really good that you're having, you want them to get to a point where they can explain it to their friends so that their friends understand it. And they're like, oh, I obviously need that. Well, and I think what we're parallels with what we do is, you know, you've never you have put you women have this pressure that they should know it, even though nobody ever really taught them or talk to them about it. And to your point, they talk to boys different, which is, you know, whatever, you know, everybody gets some good education in some way or another.

12:59Right. But you don't know. And that's not your fault. Right. So but if you give yourself what you're talking about when you're working with them week after week, month after month, whatever it is, give yourself enough time to learn it. Like treat it like a college class or a certification or something that you would do for your professional life. Give yourself time to grasp it, learn it, absorb it. And then and then you'll be able to be confident. What you're doing instead is expecting yourself to know something that you've never learned, that you've never gotten any information about. And then you're just having this shame.

13:30And I should I should I should. Instead, let's like take treat it, treat it professionally. Like give yourself the training and then you'll you'll be good to go. Absolutely. I say it all the time. Like I have a finance degree. I have a college degree in this and we graduate college or we start our careers, whatever path we take, and we're just expected to know how to adult. You're an adult now, so adult. Manage your money. Do this, do that. No one's taught you because no one talks about money because money's taboo. It's not ladylike to talk about money, but you're just expected to know how to do it.

14:06But we're not expected, aside from parenting, we're just expected to know how to how to do that too and figure that out. But everything else, there's lessons about it. We're taught about it. You know, it's like, but money, we're never taught it, but we're just expected to know how to do it. It's not. And then you get married and it's like, oh, by the way,

14:24Vanessa:now there's two people's finances that you have to figure out. So good luck with that. And then, oh, by the way, you're going to have children. And so now you have four people. It's like, it never ends. And so being able to invest that time in yourself and getting the knowledge and information that you need so that way you can be successful in finance, budgeting, investing, all of that. When people finish coaching with us, we give them some information about investing and moving to the next step because we want them to be empowered. We want them to know that they're in control. Somebody may come along and say all these fancy words and you're like, I don't know what you said, but I think I should know that or I think I need it.

14:59Vanessa:So go ahead and do it all. Well, no, we don't want to put our power and our money into somebody else's hands if we don't know what's going on with it. We want you to know and understand and research and be in control. Even a bank, we tell people, you're hiring a bank to do a job for you. You need to make sure it's the right bank for you because you're giving them your money. And so you're in charge technically. And so it's just making sure that they know that they have the power to make all these decisions to better themselves, not necessarily just because it's what everybody else is saying that they should do.

15:26Absolutely. And when you get married, you're marrying someone. Everyone has a money personality, you're marrying someone with likely a different money personality than you, but you don't realize you have a money personality and they have one because no one talks about money. So you're just in this vacuum. And then it's two people coming together, you know, one's a saver, one's a spender, you know, I'm right because I'm right or I'm right because I'm right. And, and, and you're never taught how to work it out and, and, and identify one, the way you think about money and then two, the way your partner thinks about money.

16:01So it really is just a vicious cycle of the lack of how much the lack of communication, the lack of money education really just snowballs. And like you said, you have kids throw that and throw kids into the mix. You're then, you know, who knows what money stuff you're passing on to them, you know? So it, and it just continues and continues unless you break the cycle, get educated and do the work behind it. a research study last year and there was some really interesting stats that like 69 % of Americans think young adults have today have it harder financially than previous generations. And, and that goes in a lot of different ways.

16:39Some of it was, you know, they just have more, it's more expensive. But what we think a lot is even it's so complicated now because there's so everything is digital. They're so, you know, for example, we were going to cut the cable bill. and now what you've done is add five different subscriptions to to your budget and so there's just and there's you know we didn't even have to pay for internet how old am i 50 years ago or 40 years ago whatever there was no internet bill so everything is more complicated now so you add that to it like maybe maybe if you're in this i'm putting my savings in between my mattresses or my tin can you would totally be able to figure it out but not only is that like still something that maybe we're lacking how to do that but everything is complicated there's a million things coming at you for your money every single day.

17:21Like, I joke all the time, my mom never would have paid for all the things I pay for for my kids, right? Never in a million years, there wasn't even an option to. So there's just so much more going on with our money with our with our wealth, hopefully, that that it's even more complicated. And so this is just really unfair to expect yourself to understand and be able to do it all without any help. It's so complicated. And yeah, that we're paying for stuff we never thought we'd pay for like every child has to have a 45 dollar water bottle like that's a thing and a new one each year let's say it once when you were 10 years old how many water bottles did you have zero yeah one or it was a free one that you got like that plastic one that you got from like a free event that you went it was also the water like there was no water bottle so yes to your point yes it's totally different no it's totally different and i think also what makes it so much more complicated for adults and kids you know in teaching all this is that money's all digital we can't send our kids anywhere with cash nobody so it doesn't feel real yeah right right so it just doesn't feel real to to them and to adults as well i mean we swipe the credit card we do the apple pay the apple pay has that chime that sounds real happy and it makes you feel like you're doing something good and it's like no you're not you're still spending money so there's so many things working against us that it's really you're you're really swimming upstream to try to fight fight it and go yeah i think i think that's a mic drop point there are so many things working against us you know we talked about on your podcast credit cards are one of them they're all working against you so really getting organized and knowing your knowing your finances is so important because there's so many barriers that you have to fight against.

19:12And so knowing knowing it is a good is good.

19:14Vanessa:No, absolutely. And so we have one last final question. What is one financial decision that women are delaying for way too long? And why is that? Finding help, getting help. Many women will think like in order to have a financial planner, financial advisor, you have to be rich, quote unquote, whatever that means, right? Or you have to be wealthy already. And yeah, I mean, there are some advisors that have minimums and say, I won't work with you unless you have 250 ,000. Like that does exist, but it's not everyone. So I think getting help. If you have a financial question, go find help. You don't have to do this all on your own.

19:53So find a resource that you like, date an advisor, you know, go out, find a couple advisors, financial planners. They can be recommendations. You can find them online, but have a date with them. You're going to get a feel right away if you like them or not, and go with your gut. I always say whenever a major life event happens, your financial planner should be one of the first five phone calls. New job, lose a job, buy a house, sell a house, have a baby, whatever it is. That all involves money. And if you don't like your financial planner, if you don't like the person you're working with, you're never going to call them, which means they're never going to be able to help you.

20:33So as soon as you start having financial questions, just start finding help.

20:38Vanessa:Hopefully they're on this podcast and you have your podcast with all your women that are needing help. And what that next level looks like for them? How do they plan for the future? How are they investing? I think that that is, you know, we have these two really great resources that hopefully they're listening and hopefully that they get their questions answered. But I think that's interesting that I guess I wouldn't have realized that the one problem that they're delaying is to getting help. I would have thought that it was like something specific in their budget. Yeah. Or in their investing.

21:06I think that that is a good point. And I really feel like it bookends with how we started the conversation. And I just think women are willing very often to pay for everything else for everyone else, including that$45 water bottle every year. But the investment in yourself and the investment in getting this education, getting help, getting, getting, getting what you need to, to understand everything and feel better, feel peace, feel calm, feel excitement about the future because you actually like your advisor and they're telling you all the things and you have, and you can do all the things that you're hoping and dreaming about.

21:36And so I just think, you know, let's not put ourselves on the back burner. And as you said earlier, Sherry, money fuels everything. Everything that you have on your heart is going to require money some way, form or fashion. So we might as we'll put this first and then we can do all the other things. The, the wall is the water bottles can wait, you know, just let's go get, get some help. But I think that's a great point. And women just have to take, like, take that step. Yeah. So tell, tell us a little, tell our, our folks here, how they can maybe hear more from you and where they can go to learn about maybe getting some of that help.

22:09Yeah. So my firm is called GWA wealth. So you can learn more about me at my website, gwawwealth.com. And if you want another financial podcast to listen to, my podcast is called Everyone's Talking Money, T-A-L-K-I-N. You can find me anywhere you listen to podcasts. So everyonestalkingmoneypodcast.com. I also have a club called the ETM Club, where it just connects women. We talk about, you know, investing basics, financial basics that we need to know. So once Once you have your budget, once you're building that up to take your money onward and upward.