She Wants to Quit Her Job, but Feels Guilty Because They’re Paying Off Debt | 585

0:00Working 60 hours a week plus school load. Absolutely not. How do you not feel guilty about dropping the full-time job? You need to put your numbers on paper. You can't make a decision like that unless you can see what the finances are going to look like. What we want you to do is have a life that you love, that you're excited about, that brings you joy, that you're confident about, that you're not stressed about. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice?

0:30Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? If you don't already know how to budget, or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together, or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money.

1:04In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account, or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time.

1:31This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. It's time for another Q &A session. This is so fun. We get to answer your actual questions, and you're not our clients, so we get to interact with that. But here, you are our fun friends, either in our Facebook community or wherever, podcast listeners, all of that. And you can go to budgetbesties.com forward slash ask. You can either text, voice memo, or give us a video, which is super fun, to ask your question, and then we will answer it on the episodes like this. All right. So the first question we have is, hi, I've been using the system and I love it, but I ran into an issue.

2:08I get paid the 15th and the last day of the month, so bi-monthly. when I set up all of my auto drafts, my option from the banks are every two weeks monthly, or like a certain number of days, you can change it. So I have been going in and changing the date of my auto drafts. And if that doesn't match up, and if I forget, I'm going to be in a pickle for sure. I heard one of your podcasts about working with bills that are on bi-monthly. And then how do I set up my autos for bi-monthly? I hope this makes sense. We got you, girl. We're tracking. Yeah. So this is where you're going to set up two sets of transfers for each thing.

2:48So you will set it up for a date of the month. Like you said, your, what does this mean, month? This means... Yeah, I think they can do every two weeks, once a month, or then like a certain date in the month. Right. So you're going to, for example, if you get paid on the last day of the month, you could theoretically set yours up on the first and feel pretty comfortable with that. So then for every transfer that you're going to do, you're going to go in there and set it up on the first. And then you would pick your second day. If you get paid the 15th, you can do the 16th or you can do the 15th.

3:17A lot of times that still will work. But either way, whenever you know the pay is deposit, you can set up, you're going to set up two different sets of transfers. There's going to be out in the one, one day of the month and the second day of the month. Yeah. I think that is the easiest way. And if you know, it's consistent on the 15th, like Shana said, every time your transfers, easy peasy, first and 15th every single month. And those are two separate transfers. because I think Shana's bank, because it's a military bank, they allow the option of the 1st and the 15th. My bank does not. So I have to physically go in there and do like one set, all of them on the 1st, and then one set, all of them on the 15th or whatever, however I want to do that.

3:51So that is the easiest option for you. And I think it'll really help. Do not ever change. Don't do the 30th. Like just set yourself up for success. What we want you to do, girl, is to be so confident and not need the money on the 30th that you're fine waiting until the 1st. That's the type of life we want for you. We don't want you to be like, oh my gosh, I need to move it to the 30th because I ran out and have$10 left. No, we want you to get good at saying, I get money on the 1st. I get money on the 15th. Doesn't matter what happens. It lasts me and I make this work. Yeah. And I think the other thing for you to think about is, and maybe you already know this, but that last day of the month is the first paycheck of the month.

4:29Right. And just in case that wasn't already tracking for your brain, and maybe you're not there quite yet, but definitely you want to get there. I have plenty of people that will spit their bills up bi-monthly. First thing to do is not do that. So see if you can put it back to once a month. A lot of times we're doing that because we're living paycheck to paycheck. And what we're going to do is get you a paycheck ahead and not have to worry about any of this. And the money will just be in there for whatever the bill is, the full amount, right? That's the easiest thing to do. If for some reason you have a bill that you can't do that with, you can set them still to come out whenever automatically, because you're still going to have the money.

5:05It's just, you're going to, you're going to list it twice in your budget that it's coming out those two different days. Your paychecks are getting deposited consistently. Your spending accounts are getting funded consistently. Like we said on the 1st and the 15th, the money is automatically getting deposited into your bills account. So it doesn't matter when it's pulling out. It's just going to sit there until that bill autodrafts. Again, if you're doing bi-monthly bills, you're paying extra each year. So know that. So I had a client one time who went off of that bi-monthly pay cycle for her car payment.

5:35She ended up not owing for like a month and a half, which was fantastic because we were able to build that buffer in her bills account a little bit. Plus she was also able to put some extra on debt because she didn't need to make a payment right away. So I'm just saying we would advise you to take off of that, like take yourself off of that. Yeah. And we have a podcast somewhere in the ether about like how you can do that yourself. If you want to make one extra car payment a year or you want to make one extra mortgage payment, you can do that intentionally. You don't have to rely on their way of doing it, which makes your budget wonky.

6:03Because a lot of times, if you're doing it that way, it's not just two bills a month. Sometimes it's three or whatever. Twice a year. It's just random. And nobody likes random. We like very certain things. All right, Budget Besties. It's time for some Real Talk. You don't need another budget. You need a budget system. Our simplified budget system is what you've been looking for. It's going to allow you to be bougie on a budget. You'll be able to easily set up a system that runs automatically and shows you exactly where your money is going. And it's going to give you permission to spend. Everybody loves that.

6:35It's straightforward, pretty, and packed with walkthrough videos that break down the exact methods we use with our clients to get out of debt, set up a bills account, separate spending, build savings buckets, and end the paycheck-to-paycheck feel. If you're new to budgeting, this is the perfect way to jump in. And if you're already a budget nerd like us, you're about to meet your new obsession. This is the upgrade to your finances that you need. Now back to today's show. So, Vanessa, the next question is, how do you know when it's time to let a job go when trying to get out of debt? Context is, I work a full-time job, a part-time, I worked a full-time job, a part-time job, and in school full-time.

7:15Oh my goodness. And it got to be too much and taking a toll on my mental health. Well, yeah, that sounds like a lot. working 60 hours a week plus school load. Absolutely not. But how do you not feel guilty about dropping the full-time job more stressful to focus more on school, but worry about your dropping the ball on finances and helping your spouse make sure debt is still going down and bills are still paid? I have things to say, but I'm going to let you go first. Okay. Well, I guess my first question is, do you have a budget? Like have you put your numbers on paper to see, okay, without this income, what does that look like?

7:48Now, if you don't have our budget system and you go to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget template, you're going to get the printout version and you have to do all the math yourself. You have to calculate it all yourself. Or you can get our budget system at budgetbesties.com forward slash budget and it does all the math for you, even has a mock budget in there for you to play with. But you need to put your numbers on paper. You can't make a decision like that unless you can see what the finances are going to look like after you get rid of said job, right? And then you can feel good going, okay, even without this income, we're still making progress.

8:16We're still funding our life. We're still funding savings buckets. We're paying off debt, whatever that looks like for you. But the other part of that, I will say, and I know she has a lot to say, but you need to check your savings buckets. If you haven't made your savings bucket planner and see how much you cost in a year and put those into your budget to make sure that come Christmas time, come kids' birthday time, come holidays or whatever, that you can fund that uncomfortably, then you're not going to feel good about walking away from this job because you're still in the unknown? Well, there's so many things here, like I said, that we need to unpack.

8:50Okay. I don't even know where to start. I feel like I have a lot of things I want to say. Okay. So the first thing I think, like Vanessa said, is we need to put it all on paper and have an honest conversation with your husband, your spouse. I am personally relating to putting thoughts and decisions and judgments on what they're going to think before they've had a chance to even think it, right? For the spouse, like, well, obviously he's going to be mad or he's going to be disappointed or whatever. And, and, and let me tell you what, if this was me, which it has been me in the past, he is thinking secretly, I really wish she would quit that job because she is so stressed out.

9:27She's no fun to be around or whatever. The kids miss her, whatever it is, like he or I miss her, right? That's probably what's actually happening in his head. But then we, at least me, put projects things that they're thinking. And then we think that they're going to to be disappointed or sad or whatever. So honest conversation, real numbers, like Vanessa said. And then those will give you, like, if you put it all together and say, look, we're not going to be able to pay extra in debt, but everything's covered. And then this is the other big thing. You better be going to school so you can make more money.

9:54Okay. So right now, yes, we're doing the sacrificial thing. And we're not living super large because you're in school. We don't have time to live large anyway. And I need, I can't work as many hours or for the rate of pay that I'm going to be able to make once I finish school, right? So understand that will be a great time for you to go aggressive on debt because you're gonna make more money. But you have to get there. That is the way to do it, is to get this education that's probably gonna help you make more money. This may not be the season that you're paying off a ton extra on debt. And that is okay.

10:26And I don't know if you have kids. I don't know if she mentioned that or not. But your kids want mom to be around and someone to be fun to be around. And you working 60 hours and going to school full-time, you are probably so stressed out and like shana said it may not be worth it right yeah and and so the other thing that i wanted to point out is you said how do i not feel guilty well just don't there did i help uh because i don't care what anybody else thinks right well i think guilt guilt is you need to separate whether this is shame or guilt shame is other people's opinions shame is something where you uh are doing something that you think other people are going to be uh thinking is not the right choice.

11:06Guilt is you doing something absolutely wrong according to your own values. So you need to think about your own values. Is your mental health valuable? I think so. Is quality time with your husband valuable? Is actually being able to do a good job on your schoolwork valuable? Guilt is probably the wrong word here. This is someone else's projection of what you should be doing, allowing you to shame yourself, would be my guess, right? There's no guilt here because here's the deal. You are paying your debts. You are not not paying them, right? Even if you quit this job or if you already did, whatever, you're still making the payments.

11:40So you're not, there's no moral, guilty, evil thing that you're doing. Like you're going to eventually be able to pay more on them, hopefully, or pay them off. But they are still working. And in most cases, you know, they are paying off at some point. The payment that you're doing will pay it off, right? Even if it's not super fast, even if it's not your favorite, it's still going to pay them off, okay? And so you're doing the thing. So there's no reason to actually feel guilty or pressure. Let the full-time school be pressure enough, friend. Yeah. And also what I'll say is I'm sure in the past you've heard that this is what you're supposed to be doing, that you're supposed to be working that full-time job and the part-time job to be paying for school and to do all this and to be stressed out because it's a season and you're going to get through it and blah, blah, blah.

12:23I get that. Especially if you're a nurse. I don't know if this is nursing, but this happens all the time. Yeah. There are a lot of other podcasts, a lot of other big people in the financial world that are going to tell you that rice and beans, work to death, gazelle intensity, that can only be sustained so much so far until you completely burn out and you do the complete opposite. Okay, what we want you to do is have a life that you love, that you're excited about, that brings you joy, that you're confident about, that you're not stressed about. And so answering those questions that we just gave you to sit down with your spouse and figure out what works for you is going to help you be excited about your future together.

13:02All right. Well, we hope that that helped not only the people that asked the questions, but maybe you needed to hear something that we said. And if you would let us know, you could tell us in DMs at MyBudgetBesties on either wherever you DM people. Or you could email us, hellobudgetbesties.com. or you might have a question that stemmed from it, but you heard something that like, you know, spoke to you. You can go to budgetbesties.com forward slash ask and tell us first of all, what spoke to you and second of all, what your question is. Yeah, and again, if you have a question, we can answer on the podcast like this next time.

13:33If you make good money, but have nothing to show for it, this quiz will help you figure out what's really going on with your money and what your next step should be. You'll get a personalized result and a simple action step to help you feel more organized and less stressed. Go to budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz and take the free quiz today. That's budgetbesties.com forward slash quiz to find out what's really going on with your money.