Starting Over With $0: How Amanda Rebuilt Her Life and Budget After Divorce | 521

0:00We talk about it all the time, but we separated your income to come into a different account so that you can start regulating that. And that's how you also know that you're two months ahead, right? Which is such a great feeling. Like go take a nap because stress, goodbye. I don't even need any more stress because I know I'm two months ahead. And that is such a good feeling. It's just knowing your numbers. Even someone like you, Amanda, you're super smart, super sharp, obviously very successful, but it's just not something that you thought about before. So just knowing your numbers makes it even better.

0:29Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? Hey, it's okay if you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. Hey, it's okay if you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working. But guess what?

0:57You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:29We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Hi, and welcome, Amanda, to Financial Coaching for Women. We're so excited to have you on here. Thanks for having me. So Amanda is a graduated client of ours, and she's coming on here to share her story on basically where she was, when she started, and then kind of how coaching helped her to where she is today.

2:06Yeah. And you have a fun story, and we'll figure out which parts of it we want to tell. Some of it might be your tell-all novel later, you know, later in life. Not for the podcast, but I kind of think it's a sense of where you started, like where you were when you said, Hey, I think I might look into this financial coaching. What was going on? And why did you do that? So I had just left a marriage. I moved out into a rental. I had zero dollars. I had nothing to my name. I had my credit cards and my two kids and our clothes and it was fine, but I realized I really need to figure this out because I had lost a lot of my career during this past five years.

2:53So I wasn't busy and I really needed to feed my kids. Yeah. They're always hungry. They're always hungry and they need new shoes and they're in all the sports. So I needed to figure it out. Yeah, absolutely. Totally, totally get that. Yeah. So I'm thinking about one of our first calls when you were in the car waiting for someone to get out of one of the sports, as you mentioned. And I think, you know, you were, you were coming at, like you said, not that you don't know about money, not that you don't like, you're not good with money. It's just in the situation that you were in, you were not the one managing or making or any of that.

3:30So it was like a fresh start of really, really fresh start. And so, you know, how did you like, so you decided to reach out for coaching because you like, we're like, let me have some, let me have a little help a little a little accountability while I do this it was more like I can't screw this up anymore like I need you know I'm I'm gonna get some money in this divorce I need to make sure that I'm making the right decisions because it's make or break it like I need to feed my I need to do this the right way and I cannot do it alone because I don't know what I'm doing which I mean I mean, I was just scared and I had went through a ton of podcasts and I heard you guys and you girls were like the only ones that really spoke to me.

4:19So that's when I decided, yep, I'm not screwing it up. I'm going to these. Yeah. Well, we appreciate the kind words. And, you know, I hear what you're saying as far as you're going through a situation, you didn't want to screw it up and you didn't want to do it alone. I think that's important. And it's funny. you know we normally speak to married moms of people making a certain amount of money we have a lot of women coming to us that are going through a divorce or just went through a divorce and they need somebody in their corner they need somebody to talk about this very important subject with and help navigate through it because it is it's really important in their life especially when they have kids and they're trying to make sure that they are being a good steward and that they're making the right decisions.

5:04So I think that that, it just goes in line with what we've been, what we've heard from women over the last six years. Yeah. And I'm going to say, Vanessa has been talking about, we've been talking about volleyball and last year she had a Cinderella story with her daughter. I actually think your story to me feels like a Cinderella story. So we'll kind of frame it a little bit. You came in, like you said, you know, starting fresh. I think that's the most positive way we can say it, but also it wasn't, it wasn't like all roses, like Like being positive about it now is fine, but you were in a tough spot.

5:34Yeah. But you did have – you knew that that settlement was coming and you knew that you want to be a good steward of it. And I just want to fast forward because I remember our last session. I was thinking it and I know I said it, which was you are fully funding your life right now all on your own. Like we funded them savings buckets for these kids. You're paying your new mortgage. You bought your house. Like you are – and you're a month – are we two months or one month ahead? I think we're two months ahead. Two months ahead in your business. And I'm like, okay, girl, like, whoa, roar, hear me roar, whatever.

6:05Yeah. Well, we're over here trying to get our clients like in the month ahead, right? Or paycheck ahead, then not a month. Now, girl, you are two months ahead. That is awesome. Yeah. And I just think that God is paving the way for you. I know Shana was talking about how amazing your business is going and just everything. I think that you being a good steward and knowing that you needed the help to have a good foundation for this new future of yours is, is being able to show you like this whole new life that you're in control and that you're able to fund fully on your, by yourself. Yes. That's the, like, I didn't realize before, oh, I got paid.

6:41I closed the house. I have all this money in my account. Well, no, I didn't. I've never really realized I was never ahead. I was really winging it a lot. And it's a really good feeling now to be ahead a couple months. Because in real estate, everybody knows if you're a realtor, you can go months without getting paid. So you really have to have a couple months to hold on if you have a mortgage or want to feed your kids. Yeah, those kids. Okay, let's talk about it. It just keeps coming up. They want to eat every day. That's weird. So let's talk about some of the stuff that you set up. Well, let's talk about the first thing.

7:17I think another thing, like Vanessa said, a lot of times we do get clients that come in because they know they have like a lump sum that they want to be a good steward of and make sure that they assign. And they have good ideas, but they maybe want a second set of eyes. So let's talk about what you did to kind of clean up and be able to reset and start fresh with your settlement. Like, you know, let's talk about you paid off debt and we funded some savings buckets and stuff like that. So tell us about that. so when it came in my first thing was to pay off my credit cards that I had to live on for the past you know probably like three months I suppose because I had to get like new furniture I had to get socks we had all this all the essentials the essentials toothpaste you know so I paid all my credit cards off which felt amazing and then I was able to buy a house which was great and I bought a house that needed some work on it.

8:11So I did some work on my house, but the biggest thing was putting money in the savings buckets and also being able to have money in a high yield savings. I didn't have to spend all my money. And that was the biggest thing I was scared of. I didn't want it to be seven months down the road and everything was gone because it would very easy for it to go quickly if I didn't have help. So now I have money making money, which I got like my first interest deposit. And that was the first time I ever had that. And that was really a good feeling. Yeah. I think that's awesome. And I think what you said, I didn't want to spend all my money.

8:53You didn't have to in the moment, but then you didn't want to just let it dwindle away because sometimes when we just put money in the bank, it doesn't have a purpose. It's not in a specific account that's named, right? And we don't have like goals lined up for it. It just ends up dwindling away over time. And then you look back and you go, where the heck did that go? And you, cause you don't know. It just happens so slowly. So I just love how you were so excited about being such a good steward and putting it where it needed to be. Yeah. And I think you had already like with the settlement, which you needed to, to be able, that's what a settlement's for is to be able to, you know, start your new life.

9:27you did you had a list and we had you had a non-negotiable number that you didn't want your high yield savings to go under and we had some moments I want to talk about this because we had some moments with bank yes with what banks and um and the underlying like theme is go with what makes you comfortable it's there's no right answer you can do it what with what you want to do and how what's going to work for your life but we were thinking about switching to this other bank and you decided you know what that's too complicated I don't really want to I don't want to do that But we did figure out, you know, we didn't want one, just one account for savings because that is exactly what happens with Vanessa.

10:00Oh, I took a little here, I took a little here, this or that. We wanted to assign a certain, certain amounts to certain things that we're saving for and have it separate, right? And have it, have you know that that's what that's for and that's how much there is for that, right? Yes. That was my aha moment, I would say, was because I was like, well, I don't, I want to make money. So I wanted to sit in my high yield. But then I was going and I was using my spending account for everything that was in the savings buckets, but I didn't want to transfer money out of my high yield because like, to me, that's pulling money out of my savings account.

10:34It wasn't registering that it's meant to be like that. So that was a big, like, I see why this works. I need to have this set aside separately so that when I'm going to the doctor or going to buy hockey skates, I don't feel like I'm pulling it out of my savings or I have to use it out of my spending. So I think that that's really good that you're pointing that out because a lot of people will want to put in some banks allow you to have all your savings in a high yield. Some of them don't. Right. So it just really depends on the bank that you have. but a lot of people want the high yield as they're growing their savings buckets.

11:09And the reality is, is that's, we understand what you're saying, but also your emergency fund is what needs to truly be at a high yield savings account in a high yield savings account that's separate, but those savings buckets are to be spent throughout the year. It's not in your monthly budget because it's not things you do in the moment all the time, but like those aren't necessarily, that's not an emergency fund. Like those are meant to be spent. So we need to have that more liquid and have access to it. Yeah, I think that's a really good point. And what you said, Amanda, is that because you have a spending, so your budget's a little more simple because, you know, you have your business, but it's simple in that you have a business and a personal.

11:47And the business one maybe is the one that's a little bit more complicated, but your budget is very simple. We have even, Vanessa, she's my client that we have food. We don't have grocery, it's like food, okay? Like I don't have time to figure out where the food's coming from, but it's food, which is fine. And then you had your personal spending and that was, you know, that was getting taken up. Like you didn't actually end up having any personal spending because you didn't want to pull for hockey skates from savings because you, and correctly in your mind, that's my emergency fund. Hockey skates are not an emergency.

12:16So then the next step, because actually with your bank, you had a great rate, but they required a$50 ,000 minimum for high yield. So we set, you set yourself up, I think with Ally and you were able to get a similar rate without the minimums and then you were able to do all of that right and have the separate savings buckets yes yes yeah which makes so much sense I like fought tooth and nail at the beginning like nope it's all sitting in this high yield and then I had to learn how that process works and maybe that's my personality of I don't like being told what to do so I got to learn in the hard way but you know well I think a lot of people it's just I think it's what we've been taught.

12:57So you have this one savings account and if you need stuff, then you pull from it and then, but then it just dwindles away. So it's just a new concept of separating. And a lot of people have this connotation that if you're going to separate, it's going to be more complicated. You have more accounts, it's more to track. It's going to be, you know, they have all this, this negative mindset about having multiple savings accounts. But what we've seen is that it literally simplifies your money and your budget. You just have to give it a chance to work. 100%. It is way more simple. I mean, having all of these accounts.

13:30And you can name them. I even have the names on my cards. I mean, it's simple. Yeah. It's so good. I know. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after-hour support, you can text and email.

14:07So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster. Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. So Amanda, it's so funny because we look over our clients once a week. We talk about them in general just to see where they're at and if we're going to graduate or not.

14:40I was like, Vanessa, she's like you. she's she's yes she came to coaching but she's gonna graduate on time that like she's all done like she's got it and you do and you're so like and I remember our recent conversations like well I like to control it and I'm like okay but you can't a little bit you don't you know there's less stuff that you have to do but you can still like go in there and control it and feel really like you're in charge of it because you are right but you just it's gonna require it's gonna have less stress attached and it requires less time to do it I know I was like I don't know what to do with my hands.

15:11What do you mean I can't like go in and physically transfer it myself? I'm sitting here counting down the hours watching it real time. I'm like, I need to find something better to do with my time. Yeah. So now you can find hobbies and then you can be stressed or you can be a control freak about that. It's fine. You're just transferring it from like financial to hobby. Okay. So you talked about your aha moment. Yes. What about some like tough love moments? Did you have one that when you were coaching with Shana, that's something that stuck out to you? I will say yes. I still think about it a lot.

15:45It's not really tough love, but I remember right when I moved in, I think I had used my credit card to get a bunch of stuff for the house because I like wanted to decorate it. I get in these obsessive moods where I'm like, my living room has to be done I have to and we only have a Walmart here so it's like spending money at Walmart you know I'm not going crazy but I remember I was so nervous for a call and I was like just panicking and I told her and she had said why are you nervous you're making your house a home this is the point of this and it just like stuck out to me because I was like oh my gosh it's okay that I did that I want to make this a home and I'm not going to get in trouble for it not that she would ever like get me in trouble but you know it made me feel really good like because she understood and that's the biggest thing on this type of budget is you guys understand that we're real humans and we have real things that we deal with and that made me feel really good.

16:54Didn't make me feel bad about myself. And I paid my credit card off right away. It was fine, but I was like, I shouldn't have did that. I know better, but yeah. Yeah. I think because we've dealt with, and I personally have dealt with it so many times, moving so many times, but we've dealt with a lot of clients that move and you've got to understand that your job is you, as the mom, you want to make this home, this house feel like a home. So we get that. Yeah. And we always want to put it in the budget. The difference here is, you know, and this happens a lot. And this is what we're not about. We don't care that much about credit cards.

17:26We want you to feel the relief of not having them, but we just know you don't need them. So even in that moment, you didn't need it. It was just kind of like one of those fallback things. It's just like as we get through coaching and as you get your buckets funded and as you figure all of that out, you know you can afford it. You don't have to rely on the credit card. And so I think that's kind of the lesson is to just figure that that part out. Yeah, that is a hard concept for me. If I think of a large purchase, I, it doesn't even register in my mind that I'm going to pay for it on a debit card.

17:58I just assume I have to pay for it on a credit card. And that's been a very important thing that I've taken away from this is that I don't have to use I have the money. So use that money, I don't have to use my credit cards for some. It's just the weirdest thing that I think. I think that just relates back to when we talk about not having to rely on a credit card. Like that is our biggest, you know, we can, again, we can go into a credit card rampage, whatever, and just on our walks. But the big thing that we want to make sure that you don't have to do is to rely on a credit card. But for some people, that's all they've done for so long.

18:36So to have to change your mindset on just swap it. Swap your credit card for your debit card and just know that now you are your own bank. Now you can pay cash for everything. It is different and it's an amazing, it's an awesome feeling. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't have the credit cards anymore to use. Yes. It's good. Yes. Because you make too much money. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, and that's the other thing that we do talk about is we want you to be your own bank and that's what you are now. Like if I want money, I will borrow it from myself. Thank you very much. Talk a little bit, Amanda, about how you, like you were already really organized with your business finances.

19:11I definitely want to give you credit for that, but we tweaked a couple things and I think hopefully it's, it's making things simple. Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah. So I've paid myself, so I have an S corp, so I pay myself a salary and I've paid myself the same since I started real estate 10 years ago. I've never changed it because my mindset was you don't really want to pay yourself that much, you know, and all of those things. But you made me realize I need to pay myself a salary that I can live on so that I'm not having to, oh my gosh, I'm broke this month. I need to write myself a$3 ,000 check just to pay my mortgage or whatever.

19:55Just pay myself what I need to live. The first time. The first time. Exactly. And then I can learn to budget off of that. And so that was a big transition because I had to raise my salary quite a bit, but it's been great. And my accountants were great with it. I was nervous to be like, hi, I need a readies, you know, but it's been really good because now I can focus on, you know, at the beginning of the year, I'm going to fund my savings buckets and use that as a, whatever you call it, you know, a separate payment outside of my salary myself. And I'm not going to have all of these random$2 ,000 checks to myself anymore because I'm actually going to pay myself what I can live off of and be organized.

20:43Yeah. Well, I think as business owners, we try sometimes to pay ourselves the least amount as possible because we want our business to be, you know, we want it to fund itself. But it's an unrealistic number, like you just pointed out. And we see this time and time again. And so people forget you actually, you have to look at your personal budget first and see how How much do you cost? What is the total number, including your savings buckets, that you have to put in there unless you're doing it like you are with a bonus? Yeah. But, you know, however that looks like for you. And then put that line item in your business so that way you know, okay, not only do I have to make this much for personal, but I also have to make this much for business as well and cover both of them.

21:22But people, they just forget that and they want to do bare minimum. And then before you know it, just like putting all your money in a savings account, it doesn't makes sense because it's not, does not given a, like a specific job and then it just dwindles away. And I have never known what I have to earn in a month to get through my business. And that was disappointing in myself that I've never known that I've been doing this 10 years and I didn't know what I have to, had to make. And I know for a fact, there was a lot of months where I did not make that to, you know, I was, there's months where I didn't pay myself cause I couldn't, because I didn't have it.

21:59But now I'm like, okay, now I can shift my mindset on goals at work. I have to make this much every month to be able to afford my life. Right. And it was a big A for business. Now I can set goals way different. And that's a good thing to know. I mean, I'm like I said, I'm mad at myself for not knowing what I, but I just, I guess I've never thought of it that way. You just spend too busy making money, honey. I think that's right. And that's why it's the first step that we do. Like, what do you need to bring in? And then everything else is great. And we'll figure out how to assign that positively later.

22:37And then also, just real quick with yours, we talk about it all the time, but we separated your income to come into a different account so that you can start regulating that. And that's how you also know that you're two months ahead, right? Which is such a great feeling. Like, go take a nap because stress, goodbye. I don't even need any more stress because I know I'm two months ahead. Like, and that is such a good feeling. It's just knowing your numbers. Like even someone like you, Amanda, you're super smart, super sharp, obviously very successful. Like, but it's just not something that you thought about like before.

23:05So just knowing your numbers makes it even better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And not having it all in one account. I like, if I, I mean, right now, you know, I've spent a lot of my money because we're out of, we're almost to November. Right. So I'm lower in my spending account. Whereas before everything would have been in one checking account. I'm like, I'm loaded. I can go spend all this money when in reality, I'm not, you know, and it's such a good mind set to have it separated so that you don't think you're just sitting on all this cash. You're really not because you got to pay yourself next month.

23:41Yeah, yeah. It's so good. Yeah. Next month is coming. Yes, absolutely. Okay, I have one last question I wanted to ask about the kids because we set their stuff. Well, you set their stuff up. So just tell, talk a little bit about, you have a daughter and a son of how you set that up and how it's going. Yes. So my son had a checking, has it, he had a checking account and a savings account and he's 15. So he just got his license and driving now. And that was another thing that was really, I forgot at the beginning, I had to buy him a truck. And so that was a big thing to like, not if I didn't have help and budgets and a set amount, I probably would have went and bought him something way more than I should have.

24:24And I'm glad I had a good mindset for that. But he has to pay for gas now in a truck, which is like$70 to fill up every time. And he is having to learn with me how to budget because I give him an allowance you know I ended up it was gonna be once a month I gave him like$300 for the whole month and it was spent by noon the same day that I had it so we had to revise our situation so now I give it to him weekly I just have it set up automatically but he's having to learn with me which is important that hey buddy just because you have it in your account does not mean that you have to spend it like I'm not kidding I think you just giving it to anybody on the street because he had it.