Stop Letting Money Control You: Mindset + Money Habits for Real Abundance with Rebecca E. Whitman | 557

0:00Being emotionally healthy. Being the best feeling fitness-wise that you are. Being in a happy relationship. Having your finances. All of that allows you to be the best version of you. And you don't have these moments of feeling like you need to. And you have your cheat day built in. That is part of your plan. But some people literally go up in the complete opposite direction. And we think of people who started out budgeting and they think that the word is no. They think it's restrictive. They think they can't do things. So that's the way they were, quote-unquote, budgeting. And then like when they don't want to do it anymore, then they go below$1 ,000 or$2 ,000 because they couldn't quote unquote do it before.

0:35Whereas if you just find a lifestyle that you're happy with, that you're excited about, that brings you joy, there's no need to go off the deep end like that. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free but you don't want to live on beans and rice? When you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? Hey, it's okay if you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. Hey, it's okay if you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances.

1:09We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:44We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account, or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate workers. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. All right, Rebecca, we're so excited to have you on Financial Coaching for Women. Thank you for joining us. You are. And for the listeners that can't see, we have a special guest here, which is her puppy, who is taking a very wonderful nap that we're all a little jealous of back in the back on the leather couch.

2:20And so, so Rebecca, tell us a little bit about you and, you know, tell our listeners about what you do and why you're here.

2:28Rebecca E. Whitman:Yeah, well, I can't believe that USA Today rated me top five entrepreneurs to watch. And then I got mindset coach of the decade because a few years ago I was in my therapist's office fighting with my husband, ex-husband, and she asked me, what did I want? And a voice that was not my own said a life of ease, grace, and spiritual dignity. And I knew in that moment, my life had to change. I had to leave that marriage. And after I decided to leave the marriage, it was very acrimonious. He sued me for spousal support. And as my marriage was unraveling, my dad was dying. And in one of our last conversations, he asked if I would write a book.

3:11Rebecca E. Whitman:I had no idea what to write about. I was in LA pursuing acting. And a few months after my dad had passed and my divorce had been finalized, I was sitting across the desk from my financial planner. And he said, you've lost your marriage and your dad this year. But I find it interesting that you're having your best fiscal year ever. You're actually a self-made millionaire with your real estate and your stock portfolio. and I think you should empower women to know how you were so resilient. So I wrote a book called How to Make a Six-Figure Income Working Part-Time. And in the book, I divide life into seven key areas, which I call my seven pillars of abundance.

3:49Rebecca E. Whitman:And when you have all seven areas of your life in alignment, you can be, do, or have anything you want. Now I help women go from burned out to balanced, beautiful, and abundant, and achieve success through alignment in these key areas, rather than the hustle and grind. Love that. We were actually blessed to be on your show and talk about finances, one of your pillars. So tell us what are, list out what the seven pillars are just for our listeners so they know what they are. Sure, and they are in order of importance according to my experience. So the first one is spirituality. I believe in having a daily practice.

4:27Rebecca E. Whitman:I'm a huge advocate of having a daily journal and I actually have that as a gift to your listeners. an abundance journal. The second pillar is fitness, body before business. I know that talking to here on a financial show, but if you have the strength and the vitality, you can make more money. Emotion. Yeah. You got to be healthy health as well. Emotions. You're either coming from scarcity of not enoughness or a poverty consciousness or a wealth or abundance consciousness. So that's emotion. After emotion is romantic, it's very important to have a loving companionship, even if it's just with yourself and how you talk to yourself in a loving way.

5:10Rebecca E. Whitman:After romance is mental, and that's listening to awesome podcasts like this one. Yep. Or just YouTube, taking a class, learning a recipe, traveling, anything to grow your mind. after mental is social, community creates immunity, having a group of like-minded friends that believe in you, that lift you up, that cheer you on. And finally financial. And everybody thinks abundance means financial and they work, work, work, work, work. I'm going to make tons of money. Then I'll finally have enough money to hire a trainer. I'll get in great shape. I'll look totally hot. I'll attract my soulmate. We'll have tons of friends and go on spiritual retreats together.

5:51Rebecca E. Whitman:But in my experience, all the other areas come into play first, because when you are happy, healthy, fit and love, have friends, learning new things, you are going to magnetize opportunities, just like how I magnetize you, beautiful friends, to my life. I didn't go out looking for you. You showed up at my inbox one day and now we're having another great conversation. Speaking of inbox, it was like, well, how can we say no to the mindset coach of the decade? I know. What a blessing for us to be able to talk. Hey, we got some things we need to talk about our mindset. But I love what you said because what it is.

6:27I love the order of your pillars because first of all, I used to have five pillars. So I'm going to expand them. But it did used to be faith, fitness, family, financial, and then fun. I always had fun. So I had that backwards. But I like that. I had some of the order, right? But what came to my mind, Rebecca, was if you have those other six sets, at least like pretty good, like you, you know, eight or nine out of a 10 where you feel, you know, you're so much more content and you're not probably trying to chase solving problems with money, which just like continues to create this cycle of not abundance really, right?

7:07So I just think I love and I think like I heard a father say, you know, the wealthy man is the one that wants for nothing. You know, so if you truly are content and happy with what you have, then then you're wealthy all in and of itself.

7:22Rebecca E. Whitman:Happiness is a decision, not an acquisition. And if we're constantly seeking happiness outside of ourself by accumulating money and stuff, we're always going to be like that donkey chasing the carrot. There's always more stuff and a newer car, a bigger house, the next vacation. Decide to be happy and watch how the opportunities flow to you. That's why I call myself the magnetic abundance mentor, because I teach that the higher your vibration, meaning the happier you are, the more loving you are, the more money chases you. And it's really a feminine paradigm. You know, the male paradigm is to go out and hunt and kill and chase down the money.

8:05Rebecca E. Whitman:And women have tried that and they're getting burned out and exhausted and resentful. And some are getting so sick that they can't even work. So I'm saying to do the opposite. Take care of yourself. Fill your cup. Be joyful. Be healthy. Be in love. And then watch the money and opportunities flow to you. I love how you're putting money last because we see a lot of people try to use money like it controls them, right? They don't realize it's controlling them and they try to go after the money first. And they're like, we like to say you can't be controlled by two masters, right? So what we see is people try to use money.

8:42We want them to use it as a tool, right? And we don't want them to be controlled by it, but we've seen where they try to go out and they're after money. They're trying to make more money. They say they don't have enough money. There's not enough money. They So they're, but they're naturally being controlled by it and they don't realize it. And so I love how you have money and finances last because we truly believe you have everything going for you when you're whole, when you're healthy, when everything is going on, that's right in your life and you feel good. Naturally, you being able to make money or take care of money or manage money, it's going to come way healthier.

9:16Rebecca E. Whitman:I agree. All areas spill into each other. And so many people become workaholics and they're like, I don't have time to work out. But then they end up, you know, not feeling comfortable in their body and not feeling good about themselves. And that affects them and their business. Or I don't have time to date. My love life is not important to me. I just want to make money. And then they could, you know, be in a beautiful home with a big bank account, but they're lonely and they're crying themselves to sleep at night. So I really think that money is the lot. It is so important. All of these seven pillars are important.

9:51Rebecca E. Whitman:They're like spokes on the bicycle wheel. If one is broken, then the other ones are affected. But I do think having your life in order and having just physical strength and emotional strength and a good support network, it's going to make money easier. And I like to say the more fun I have, the more money I make. I love that. That's the best. That's the best news we've heard. I think it's really important to for our audience to hear what you said about women and money. So we are taking a different approach. The, the fate, the, the conversation about money is very, you know, very often, you know, dominated by men and, you know, not necessarily in a bad way.

10:28It's just that they can do their way. Like you said, they have their hunt go out their singular focus. Like that, that's kind of a different energy than what a woman, the way the woman does things. And I, and so we're trying to change that conversation and we're trying, you know, our budget is, is not all about how much money do you make or like, you know, chasing more and more and more. It's about just like, how can we make all of those seven pillars really are in our budget, right? You know, how do we put that in the budget so that we can be this full version of ourselves that we can, you know, the money is a tool to fund all of those things in our lives.

11:03Rebecca E. Whitman:Yeah, money is energy and money is a tool. And I love that you guys teach budgets in such a feminine, holistic way, because there are certain people that can be anorexic with food, but they can be anorexic with money and they can be in a self-hating, self-deprivation cycle. One of my friends is dating a billionaire and he's wearing like, you know, torn up clothes and torn up shoes. So even though he's worth a billion dollars in his bank account, he's anorexic and he's not enjoying the money that he has. So, you know, life is short. There are no U-Hauls following hers. None of us are going to take the money with us to the next life, whatever that may be, whatever you believe in.

11:45Rebecca E. Whitman:So let's enjoy it while we're here, which is we're both saying it in different ways. Right. Yeah. I love that because we always talk about making a budget that you're excited about. Your finances should motivate you. It should be like the goal that you want to, what do you want to accomplish in your life? And like you said, why wait? Okay. My poor dad worked his whole life and literally think that within the year that he retired, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Oh, so sorry. You know, and it's just one of those situations where I appreciate that. Thank you. And, but it's one of those situations where it's like, wait, like, don't wait, make a budget that you're excited about that you're living now.

12:24You know, I was telling Shana earlier on a different podcast. My, my daughter has volleyball this weekend and my son is missing school and baseball practice. And I don't care. Like you're coming with us. This is a little mini family vacation. I only have so much time with you left and we're doing that together. These are decisions that we made because these are the memories that we're never going to get back. Well, and I want to say it's like when you're talking about anorexic, your money needs to be sustainable. So you need a diet or a lifestyle, whatever. We don't really like the D word either, but the D word is like the B word in a way,

12:54Rebecca E. Whitman:you know, people don't want to feel restricted. They want to feel free. Right. And so we want your budget to be that like something that you can stick with your whole life that funds your other parts of your life. You know, you know, it's not, we're not going to go off the deep end here. We're not going to go under the deep end, whatever, whatever version of that is. So, okay. So dive into the financial pillar because, you know, you're about abundance and magnetic and all of that. So tell us more about, about that. So I have a philosophy that everybody should have three to five income streams.

13:25Rebecca E. Whitman:And that way you have a diversified portfolio. Leo. So if you're having a bad year or a bad month and one of your businesses, the other two will sustain you or maybe only one is working. But a lot of people like Rebecca, I can't do that. My mind doesn't work that way. It's overwhelming. But think of it like when we were in school. Remember, we had those five ring binders with math, science, English and history. And we had homework assignments and exams and reading assignments in each of those areas. Well, that's how I think I have four businesses that are active and one that's passive. So I have five income streams and I have meetings and assignments and action items to do.

14:05Rebecca E. Whitman:And I literally I'm going to hold it up. But I have one of those just like I did in school with all my different businesses and I'm able to keep them all straight and it doesn't get boring that way. And I don't have so much pressure on one business because I know I have other businesses that are thriving. So I am a huge believer in multiple streams of income. Well, I'm a huge believer in those five, five tabs. What are they called? Like five star? What are they called? I don't know, but. Oh, yeah. Those binders. I have had those my entire life. So I love that. And it really does speak, you know, when we speak to our women, we're trying, we're, we're organizing things in a way that makes sense in our brains.

14:44To your point about men, like they can do their brain, whatever they want, love them, but we're not them. It's working for them. Yeah. But I love that, like giving yourself like the compartmentalization and like the organization to think about anything, everything, you know, specifically. So that's really very helpful for me personally.

15:01Rebecca E. Whitman:Great. And then my other philosophy of time blocking is have you guys heard of the Pomodoro method? 25 minutes of concentrated work and a five minute break. So I know a lot of women who listen to your show, they have kids and they have jobs and spouses and maybe they're taking care of elderly parents. If you can time block 20 to 25 minutes of concentrated work and then take a five minute break, and then you can go on to the next thing or just go back into the tasks you're working on. That is, I actually use the timer on my phone. Sometimes if I'm doing something that is not super enjoyable to me, I will time it.

15:41Rebecca E. Whitman:And that really helps me get through it. And if you do two 25 minute segments, I call that a power hour. And if you just have one power hour a day, five days a week, you could launch a business. You could take a passion to a profitable business five hours a week. That's 20 hours a month. And it's amazing what you can create by the end of the year. So I encourage women to block out their week on Sunday. First, their morning practice, their workout in the morning, whatever job they have, whatever obligations and then try to fit in those 25 minute segments. If you can fit in a whole power hour, even better.

16:20Rebecca E. Whitman:And then you want to have focus days where you're just working hard, pedal to the metal, go, go, go, go, go. I mean, if you look at my schedule, I'm scheduled to the minute. But then there's play days. So Friday's usually a play day. If I can't take the whole Friday off, at least take the first half of it off. And Sunday is a day off for me. So have your focus days and your play days and then reward yourself when you do things that you don't really want to do. Like some people hate working out. They absolutely hate it. So when you're done working out, maybe you go to Starbucks and you get, you know, your favorite latte, not the one with a thousand grams of sugar, hopefully, or you, you know, have it in your budget, bestie budget, you know, budget to have like a new workout outfit if you complete like a whole month of workouts.

17:06Rebecca E. Whitman:so I think rewarding yourself really helps as well to get through some of the things and the seven pillars that you don't love to do but you know are good for you yeah you know you should do you have to do I was just going to say really quick I just implemented that 25 minutes on five minutes off with my daughter because she's one of those that will take five hours to do something that could be done in 30 minutes love her so much so with her schoolwork because she just gets so distracted. And I compare her, like, it's so funny when I see like her brain and how she acts. And then like, I'm with Shana all day.

17:38I'm like, Oh, you guys are like the same human just because of like how she just loves to be doing stuff all the time. And it's just so funny. And I'm like, and so anyways, I just implemented that with her because she needs help being able to stay focused, but she also needs to reward herself. I've seen that as her mom. And I think that it's been helping her this week. So I'm like super pumped that we found something that worked. Yeah. And like, Can we look in the back? Can you see that little timer? It's a, it's a Pomodoro timer. Oh God, you guys were so aligned on the Pomodoro.

18:09Rebecca E. Whitman:I need a Pomodoro timer. Send me a link. I want to get that from me. I will. Well, it's because in some people's brains slash all of our brains, because we all have stuff we don't want to do. If I only have to do it for 25 minutes, somehow that does motivate me to maybe start. And I think that's true for, and you can start with less than 25, especially for the things that you don't want to do. Like working out, If you start, okay, I'm just going to do five minutes or I'm just going to 10 minutes. You'll probably do it longer. But goodness, if you get the five or 10 down and you're, and you get, start getting good at that, the 20 and 25 will be easier.

18:39I will say for me, it started to become the opposite because, or it's necessary as a workaholic or whatever you want to call it. Because when I, for example, when my daughter goes to gymnastics for three hours, I have a three hour stretch and I set my timer and how often, because I will sit there for three hours and work because there's always so much more to do. So what I told my daughter is I will do, I do a three hour cycle, 20 minutes working, 20 minutes, I do stairs and then I'll go watch her do all the crazy gymnastic things that she does for 20 minutes. And then I started over. And for me, like, otherwise I won't break it up.

19:17You know what I mean? I will just sit there and work and which is not necessarily always a bad thing, but I do want to not sit down for three hours. great, honestly. But I think that, you know, being in charge of your time is, is really good. And time blocking is super, obviously super important for all of those pillars to get them all in because we all have some of them like budgeting maybe that we don't actually want to do, but you know, you can set a 25 minute timer and once your budget set, that's all you'll need, you know, to really get it going. So we're for that. I also think like, imagine how much you can get done if you have 20 to 25 uninterrupted minutes.

19:50Yeah. Like that is honestly a lot of time. And if you, there's no distractions. If you give yourself, okay, I'm not going to have, not going to check my phone. I'm not going to get distracted by noise or whatever, anything in my surroundings. And you just sit down and do it. You, like you said, you can start a business. There is a lot that you, how productive can you be? Whether that's housework, whether that's work, work, whether that's friend time, whether that's, you know, spending time with your kids, your spouse or whatever, but that uninterrupted time can really be valuable.

20:17Rebecca E. Whitman:25 minutes can truly change your life. And I think of my days and my weeks time management wise as a hit training class, you know, high intensity intervals. There's intervals where you're pedal to the metal, you're not checking your phone, you're completely focused on completing a task. And then there's, you know, oh, I have five minutes, go to the bathroom, cuddle with my dog, get some more tea or whatever it is. And it really breaks up the day and it makes it pleasant knowing that, okay, I just have to do this for 25 minutes and then I get to have a little bit of a breather and downtime. Yeah.

20:54I think it goes quick too. Yeah, it does. Okay. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after-hour support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next.

21:31Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster. Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. So what other, what other things? So we've got the time blocking and we've got multiple streams of income. So what else do we, do we dive into? Oh, don't forget about rewarding yourself.

22:04We can really stay there for a minute. We need a budget for that. Yeah, we think you should definitely do that. And so you're going to set up rewards specifically for things that you don't necessarily want to do and then hit milestones to make it so maybe it's something you want to do. You know, our budget, we made it so it's pretty so that you want to do it. But one thing that we do tell people, Rebecca, you can tell us what you think about this is once, for example, once they paid off a debt, that amount of money that they get back in their budget, maybe you put that on your spending now, or maybe you put half of that on your spending.

22:36And then you like if you had$120 debt payment, right now you get that for spending each month because you did a good job or maybe 50 of it goes you get 50 more spending a month or something. Because we told we do agree, you know, rewarding yourself. It's not all about the grind. It's not all about being a billionaire and having holes in your shoes or jeans or whatever you had. It's like the day that like the continued growth and like being able to sustain that.