What to Do When Dave Ramsey Isn’t Realistic for Your Life | 530

0:00I think your method allows you to live life. And Dave Ramsey's is really, race and beans, pay off your debt, but there's no life living. And that's not reality for some people. And if we wanted to go on vacation, we budgeted for that. We went away in September. So I think that's a big difference is you, and you don't, I never felt like I was told I was doing something wrong. I was guided and shown how to maybe tweak something to make it show up better on the budget. But I never felt like I was eating out, like I said, too much or spending too much on groceries or spending too much on gas. It was, OK, what if we changed your numbers like this?

0:50And I was asked, what do you think? I didn't know. That was the hard part. But that's where the six months came in. And like as we grew, I was like, oh, yeah, let's change that a little bit. So I think that's it. Like you let people live. So you make a goal. Sure, I have a goal of paying off my debt. I would love to be debt free. And someday I will be. But I still have three kids and I still want to go out to dinner or buy them nothing but bun cakes for their birthday, which are not cheap. And that's OK because I budget for it. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck?

1:32Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? Hey, it's okay if you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. Hey, it's okay if you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey.

2:03We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages.

2:35And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Hey, Dawn. Thank you so much for coming on Financial Coaching for Women to give your testimonial. We are so excited to have you. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. Okay. So first things first, we got to figure out what led you, like the breadcrumbs that led you to Budget Vesties, Financial Coaching for Women, all of the above. Okay. So I am part of Carrie Lopoli's team and community, and I heard you both with her back in October of 24, I believe was like somewhere in there was your first call.

3:19And then I had a wonderful call with Vanessa and, and I was on board. Like I loved it. And then November and December went and January came around last year and you did your bootcamp and I was all in. And I really, really wanted to win free coaching because I couldn't afford coaching. So I knew I wanted to win it, but I didn't, but I bought your program and then February went and March came and I reached back out and I had another lovely call with Vanessa. And so we just, I just knew that I, I obviously wasn't doing anything on my own. And so I jumped in and here I am. I mean, I think you tiptoed a little bit, but I jumped in after six months, three months of waiting.

4:13No, I just mean like when you and I chatted that second time, you were like, I, I have so many reservations. You wanted to put the coaching on a credit card member because you were like, I can't afford it. And I thought, well, girl, let's just, let's figure this out. And lo and behold, you could afford it, but you had no idea. I did not know that until you showed me. But I also remember the day that we were meeting for our first coaching call and I had to sign my papers and I wrote no. Like, no, I was not committing to six months. And no, I wasn't giving you my debit card. And you called me and you said, that's kind of not how it works.

4:49And I was so scared, like scared to death. But a year later, it's been life changing. it's so interesting because i feel like for example i i think that some people need help in certain areas and some people don't right and i think i never nobody okay let me tell you this i grew up eating pizza rolls spaghettios and a baked potato if i if i was going to cook for myself as a teenager i was going to put a potato in the microwave and that was going to be my lunch Okay. So when I decided to get my life together as an adult and learn how to cook, learn how to eat, get healthy, start working out, like all of that, I had to have a personal trainer tell me exactly what to do because I had zero idea.

5:39Like I was coming from zero. And I wasn't going to be able to figure it out and have the willpower to do it. Like those are two separate things and doing both of them wasn't going to happen separate or apart or together unless somebody was really, truly helping me, walking me through. and that's because it's something I knew nothing about right so there's everybody has that area in their life where they're just like this is not my thing I never was taught it I don't know it and I think that's what I'm hearing is like this was the thing you're like I could I want to do this on my own but for some reason it's just there's too much resistance I can't I can't quite figure it out on my own and that's where coaching is such a good option well and I think that's why we we say it's a six-month commitment because it's not an overnight success it's not an overnight fix and that was something that you know when you and I chatted I very clearly remember reading your coaching waiver that you said the agreement that you sent and when you were like no and I told my husband I was like I need you to step out because I have to make a phone call and and I just remember talking with you and you were so scared but again it's because you didn't know it was like the world of unknown and this area that you weren't sure about no one had taught you right but we keeping people on for six months completely changes how they think about money because you're so close to it.

6:49It's your money. It's your finances, but us being able to show you, Hey, but what if you thought about it like this? And what if you looked at it like this? I think you guys had a ton, you and your husband had so lovely, had a ton of light bulb moments that happened just because of somebody else coming in and looking at it in a different way. Yeah. There's, I would never have been able to do one month because I didn't have it together after April. I was still a mess. We had gone to Florida. I went way over budget. And I don't think I could have done less than six months because each month there was something new that I was like, oh, okay, I see this now.

7:29Like even finally, it was like we started in April. So like by August, I was just getting to be that one paycheck ahead. And even in our one of our last coaching sessions, I was still so, I don't know how to do three paychecks in a month. And then we had to walk through that. So there had been no way I would have succeeded. And I just didn't have the time, nor did I have the energy to figure it out on my own. And some people can. But I know that I needed a coach. And I just know that you helped me get from where we were. And what I loved is you never told me, this is what you need to do, Dawn.

8:09and my husband wasn't really involved because he is not involved in the finances. My husband has a brain injury and pretty much I say, this is what we're gonna do. And he's like, okay, but I would never, you never said, oh, you're spending way too much going out. You just said, what do you think? And I look at the numbers and I said, we're spending way too much going out. We need to figure this out. And I loved that. I would not have been able to do it. and so I'm so thankful that I that you found the money because the money was there I never have one paying for my coach it was there I just didn't see it because I was I remember telling you way back in our first call like I$20 myself to death and that comes from Dave Ramsey we did Dave Ramsey moons ago 13 years ago before my husband's accident and then all of those teachings without the window.

9:06But I also, I have three children. I live, my mom and my stepfather live with us. I don't want to live on rice and beans. I want to go out. We just went out last week. It was my boy's birthday and we went to Hibachi. We want to do that. We don't want to eat rice. So I mean, sometimes they give you rice at Hibachi, but that's the only rice we're talking about people. Okay. It's fancy rice at a fancy restaurant. It is. Yeah. I love that. That's such a great that's so important the the$20 to death that's really fun I never heard that before but but Don what would you say like what are some I was thinking about like before and afters right so I can hear the anxiety the stress the kind of like white knuckling like I can hear that in in the before of what you know what maybe especially if you're handling it all on yourself all by yourself that's a lot so what that's kind of some of the before what would you say after what are some of the afters or some of the things that you worked on with Vanessa that made some of that hopefully feel better or your money felt better?

10:08What are some of those afters? So let me make sure I say, like, I didn't get some crazy raise, right? Like I got my regular 3 % and I came in November. So that was not during my coaching. After, like, I don't, I think about money, but only when I have to check my budget or when I say, my husband will say, how much money do I have in my account? You know, he wanted to buy something. And I said, you have money. It's not coming from anywhere, but your money. And so I loved that. Like, I love the way that you have done the accounts. Like I know my gas and grocery, when we're getting close to, we get paid every two weeks.

10:48That's how we set it up. We're kind of running low. Well, Friday's payday. So here's$10. That's all you can put in your gas tank. But I don't, I'm not stressed. Before, I was so stressed because there wasn't money there because I didn't, I was not paying attention. And another thing I remember saying to Vanessa way back in the beginning was, and I used to have a little ostrich and a little giraffe, like toy animals. And I felt like I was an ostrich with my head in the sand. And I really wanted to stand tall like a giraffe. And when I started working with her, I was an ostrich. Like I was, I couldn't do anything.

11:27And now as I sit here, because we've had some family stuff go on, I'm literally looking at taking FMLA and that will be a pretty big pay cut. And I literally was in my budget last night deducting some money saying, okay, it's going to be like a negative$2 ,000. So where am I pulling it from? And that is beauty. I'm not stressed about it at all. I just will figure it out. and that would never have been where I was last year. Hey, I need to stop you because when you brought up the ostrich and the giraffe, I was telling Shana when my husband, were you at the last bootcamp when my husband drew that, right?

12:10Did you remember seeing that? Okay, so we talked about you at the last bootcamp last year and we said, we talked about being, you don't wanna be the ostrich in the sand, you wanna be the tall giraffe. And I told her, I had a free call at some point this year and this is what she told me. She had the figurines. Like we talked about this whole thing. And I, now that you say that it was you. And so girl, like we use that all the time because you're so right. You don't want to be the ostrich with your head in the sand and not know what's going on and not feel confident and feeling ashamed with your finances.

12:40We want you to stand tall. But in order to do that, you have to know your numbers. You have to know what's going on. And so by us diving in for six months, and you're right, you had stuff come up every single month. and we like to say like things happen right it's fine but we just we have to know and what we try to teach you in that moment is like okay when this happens in three years after you're done with coaching this is how you're going to know how to handle it yeah and I think even now like we're still working because it hasn't been a full year so even Christmas Christmas was amazing was freaking amazing because I paid cash for Christmas.

13:17And not only did I pay cash, but it made the gift buying so much more intentional. And I need to adjust it. I already adjusted my budget. I adjusted my savings bucket for it because I went over, but I just pulled from, you know, Peter to pay Paul in my cash buckets. And that's just how we worked it. I didn't spend as much on food as I thought. So I shifted that up to gift buying, but I'll be more prepared for next year. And even as January came, I had some money put away for my boy's birthday, but I spent a little bit more. So now I know for next year and I have, you know, just to get through the next couple months, but But that's what I loved.

14:04I remember you saying is this, that column that says this month, well, that will probably not be there as we grow and I make more savings buckets because I'm going to be paying for hockey. So hockey is not going to come up and surprise me, which it shouldn't because it comes every year, just like Christmas comes at the same time or school clothes come. So the savings buckets were huge and still growing and learning and just adjusting. But something that, I mean, we put ourselves in debt every Christmas. And then there never seemed to be enough. So I bought more. So I was just buying silly stuff.

14:45And my kids are, it was a really great Christmas. Yeah, I love that. I think that's the whole point. That's why, that's how you start to feel better is you know that there's money for each category. And there's no shame if you, like you said, I went a little over. Okay, I'm just going to adjust it for next year. It's not, I can't, it's not, I did a, I'm terrible, I'm fired. No, it's like. And you didn't use credit. Yeah. And I mean, big deal that you didn't use credit. But just going on, like with every category, I have money for savings. I have money, or for Christmas, sorry. I have money for hockey.

15:16I have money for gas. I have money for groceries. And I know those are all going to get refunded. Like I'm steady. And I just, the confidence, like you said, the draft with your head tall, like I can do this. and you're you're taking it by the reins now you're the one that's adjusting everything and doing it all and i think that's the whole like transition that's the whole the the whole transformation is what i mean that we want like maybe i feel anxious maybe i'm feeling whatever but we want you to feel confident and to know everything and to be be be proud you know not like prideful but proud that you know your numbers and for especially like i said for people like you that are kind of shouldering the burden of it all like to take some of that pressure off you know So let's do the pressure on the bank and the Excel spreadsheet that does the math for you.

16:00Like they can carry some of the burden. Yeah. And that's what you set up. You take the time to set it up. And that now carries the burden because you've done the work. And then you don't have to. Like you said, I just have to check in on my budget. And that's the goal. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault.

16:34And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after-hour support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up and we will help you go further faster.

17:04Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. I want to ask too, tell me if there was any tough love moments that you remember while we were coaching, just something that stuck out that is always there. I don't think you gave me tough love. You told me I was a great client. As a matter of fact, what I remember is you said, maybe not verbatim, but you told me, oh, I'm really thankful. You come, you do your homework. I just had to yell at a couple, but you didn't yell at me because I did my homework. So you gave me tough love. Maybe I'm one of the lucky ones, but I wanted to every week. I went through what you sent me.

17:46I mean, you had it there. Here's what you need to do. So it might've been the night before, but I was doing it because I never wanted to show up unprepared. And you know, you did you like that, but I, but I knew like, there was a time where I was looking at the budget and I was, I felt down even in the middle of it because they still had a negative number and I couldn't see the long picture of how my negative number would be positive, but it was, I mean, it's, it's there where everything's getting paid. And now in January, I can actually start, I have annual, which I love, like the annual savings bucket is amazing.

18:30Christmas, and I had started gifts. So now in January, I have three more buckets I'm going to start, but I need to go open up some more savings accounts. So I don't remember you giving me tough love. I never felt that from you. I just felt supported and loved and, and cared for and valued. Well, you were an amazing student. I remember actually, it's so funny because the person that you're talking about came on our podcast and we were, we were reminiscing about that moment when it was like a tough love. And then you literally came on right after that call. So I remember, and they had spoke about that moment, but good.

19:07You know, I think everyone is different and I think everyone goes through the journey differently. and I think that and that's why you know we talk about not having anything cookie cutter our coaching is not cookie cutter because everyone has a specific situation a specific their life going on and how they see it how they perceive it how they do the budget is different and we have we cater to that well and I think what you're speaking to is what what I call like the hand holding part of it which is the and this is what I want I I remember that the coach that I was into, I would be texting her and I, I remember, okay, look, can I just give you an example?

19:43I sent her a picture of, you know, Bush's beans, right? The, the canned beans. Yeah. And it said maple sugar bourbon or something. And I said, do you think this is a good choice? And she's like, well, it's a good start. It does say sugar right in the title, but I needed her to like walk me through these small micro or micro. Yeah. Micro. That's right. Micro moments. And that's what coaching does for you, like you said, I'm going to tell you, we're going to tell you exactly what to do between sessions. And then you get to come on the session and ask your questions exactly like Vanessa said, cookie cutter to, or not cookie cutter specific to your life.

20:19And that's what, sometimes this was what we need. And then now you're able, like you said to, you know, you're doing it your own. You're, you've taken the reins, but you need that, those moments. And, and, and the other thing that's kind of sad, but very true. Like we all know this is true. Like the fact that you did the homework the night before, sometimes it's the hour before, sometimes it's five minutes before we did it during sometimes it's during the session that's what happens but the fact that you how you will show up when someone else is waiting for you is different than if you're if it's just showing up for yourself and that's kind of a bummer that's kind of a bummer that's true but it's true but what it does do is it gets you used to showing up it gets you used to doing the things that you're going to do and then once you graduate you're way more likely to actually do the things because you have you have confidence that i can do it i know what I'm doing.

21:02And if I keep doing this, it's working. And I feel good about that. Let me ask you this question. We have a lot of people that say, I don't know, six months is a long time. Girl, do you think you could have done it in less? No, no, absolutely not. Like April, I messed up totally. Like I was so, I was supposed to send, I'll just make up some numbers. Like I had said, I'm going to budget$500 for Florida. I spent like 1 ,200 because we, you know, we drove and we did this and yeah. So no. And then even by the summer, I was still like stressed. Like, I just don't see how I'm ever going to be more in a positive.

21:39And I would say by August, I was really good. And our last coaching session, like I was asking you about 401k, like I felt so good. I didn't really have to ask you stuff about that budget. And we We were doing weekly deposits at that point. And the whole three paycheck thing, you had done some formula, threw me right off. And so we switched it. I switched it like in October to every two weeks. So it just balanced out. And then in December, you had already had my budget set. So I understood seeing how that three week would come out of my check and what I would have extra. But no way. No. And I valued coaching and I knew that it was an investment in me and in my family and in my future.

22:29So I wasn't wasting. Well, and you had a health coach. Right. Right. You weren't wasting. Right. Yeah. You had a health coach. So you power in the end and like what having a coach, like what that can do for you. Right. And I am a coach for Carrie now. So, right. I mean, you're investing a lot of money, whether it's in your finances or in your health or whatever area you need to grow. don't waste it yeah so we kind of started the podcast you were telling us how you guys 13 years ago i think you said had done um date and you kind of you know unfortunately a lot of circumstances you know happened and everything but now you've done this kind of coaching so tell us what how how it's different how you're leaving how you left it's been a minute but you're still part of our world how you left it feeling as opposed to like what's different about what our method is teaching you and having you do versus Dave, just to give us a little, like a little bit of that.

23:25I think your method allows you to live life. And, and, and Dave Ramsey's is really race and beans pay off your debt, but, but there's no life living. And that's not reality for some people. And if we wanted to go on vacation, we budgeted for that. We went away in September. So I think that's a big difference is you and you don't I never felt like I was told I was doing something wrong I was guided and shown how to maybe tweak something to make it show up better on the budget but I never felt like I was eating out like I said too much or spending too much on groceries or spending too much on gas it was okay what if we changed your numbers like this and I was asked what do you know like what do you think I didn't know that was the hard part but that's where the six months came in like as we grew I was like oh yeah let's change that a little bit so I think that's it like you let people live so you you make a goal sure I have a goal of paying off my debt I would love to be debt-free and someday I will be but I still have three kids and I still want to go out to dinner or, or buy them nothing but bun cakes for their birthday, which are not cheap.

24:48And that's okay. Cause I budget for it. Yeah. I love that. So tell us, give me, give me like one aha moment, something that happened during coaching that you were like, this is something I will never forget. Boy, can there's so many, I don't know how to pick one. I really can't. It was just even you finding the money to pay for coaching and showing me where other money can come from and your budget system showing in the debt snowball versus the avalanche. And so there's so many. I don't know that I could pick one. I really don't. I just loved every moment. I was, my heart was broken when our coaching was done.

25:39I didn't want to ever graduate. I missed having my every other week with you. And I talk about you all the time. I mean, both of you. I mean, yeah, no. Yeah. I appreciate that. Well, and I think that's a differentiator as well from Dave is like, we have, we give you a few different ways to pay off debt versus the one that you're only allowed to do. But no, I think that there is, you know you explained why why are we yeah why am I gonna go the debt snowball route and why and sometimes we would go an avalanche route but yeah one piece no I mean I can't my daughter this is our plan is to go through it so she's 26 she'll be 26 but she lives at home but she still you know pays her rent and she has her car and she wants to travel so we're gonna start working on that And even my 16-year-old, I have twins.

26:31Oh, they're 17. I have twins. They just turned 17. One of them wants to save for a PC. So he right now has one savings and one checking. So my goal is with him to open up another savings where that's like, here's your emergency fund and here's your savings. You want to save? Part goes here. So, I mean, that's my plan for this year is to expand into my family. I think that's so good. We tell people that. Like this isn't something that's just for you. It's something that you can teach your kids and your grandkids someday. And so, well, Dawn, thank you so much for coming on our podcast and giving your testimony.

27:06And we really appreciate you taking the time to do this because we know that your story is going to help somebody else in their decision to maybe get coaching someday. I would say I highly recommend it. So thank you very much. Thank you, Dawn. If you're tired of feeling like your finances are all over the place and you're ready for a simple set it and forget it way to budget, we have something special for you. Watch our Automate Your Budget Masterclass at budgetbesties.com forward slash automate. We'll show you step-by-step how to finally organize your money, how to set up your accounts, and put your budget on autopilot so your bills, saving, and spending run like clockwork.

27:47Imagine less stress, more savings, and the freedom to spend money without having to track every dollar or babysit your bank account. Go to budgetbesties.com forward slash automate to start today.