Why Credit Card Debt Feels So Scary and the Budget Plan That Helps You Breathe Again | 608

0:00I just kept, I felt like we were spiraling, spiraling downward in a very, very fast and bad way. and money just felt very scary. The first thing was in the very beginning when I was like, my husband doesn't know that we're meeting. I need you to be like brutally honest. I need you to tell me all the things that I know that I need to hear but I don't want you to say. We're just going to get this down and we're going to figure out where the money is going and where it's coming in and it's just simple. Like, I am no longer scared to talk about money. And my whole mindset around money has completely changed.

0:42From scarcity to just like, okay, now I'm in control of my money. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt-free but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? If you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what?

1:16You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:48We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account, or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast.

2:08Hi, Diana. We are so excited to have you on Financial Coaching for Women. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. okay so we love to get these stories and we know it's really going to help our audience so tell us a little bit about where you were when you met the budget besties when you came into the budget besties world maybe the podcast or some something else where you were and how you found us so I found you on Instagram probably because I was desperately seeking help with getting out of credit card debt. And I just kept, I felt like we were spiraling, spiraling downward in a very, very fast and bad way.

2:55And money just felt very scary. And I just knew that we needed some sort of help. And I was praying and praying for help. And then I know my phone heard me and I guess God in my phone sent me you guys. It's really interesting that we hear that a lot. Not that we're saying that it's just it's just funny we have people say i prayed for you guys and then you popped up on my podcast or my you know my feed we're like oh praise god for that so yeah because you know a lot of times your prayers aren't necessarily out loud so that doesn't necessarily mean your phone heard you we're you know we're going to give all the glory to god but i do think what's interesting is you may be the only person that's ever found us on instagram yeah don't do that don't worry we have plans to you know get our lives together on instagram but You guys are on there.

3:44I mean, I give you credit. I really do. We try. I appreciate that. Well, you know, it's trying to do the podcast and then Facebook and then Instagram. There's lots of funnels. So we're trying to figure them out. So give us a little bit of a backstory because you have your own business. Your husband works on commission. Like there are a lot of moving parts with your budget. So just kind of give the listeners, just let them know kind of where you were financially before we started coaching. Yeah. So before we started coaching, we were at a place where I had full control of the money, which I love because my background is in accounting.

4:19But I didn't really know where the money was going. And so one thing that really excited me about working together and also scared me was realizing where the money was going. And when we started coaching and you asked me to write down all the places that it was going, I was like, oh my gosh, this is going to be awful. Well, it wasn't as awful as I thought. And it was, it just felt extremely freeing to get it onto an Excel spreadsheet. And so it, there were just, it just felt, everything felt scary before we started coaching and running my own business and having like during our coaching my husband went to commission it a lot of moving parts also intimidated me from creating our own budget and having our budget so simple and so user-friendly just it just alleviated so much stress and helped us realize okay we actually are doing very well on our expenses and we can pay off the credit card debt and we need to increase our income, which was huge.

5:32And I also didn't know that you could call credit card companies. So it completely saved us. We just paid off our Apple credit card, which I don't know if I can say this, but I would never, ever, ever get one of those again. Yeah. There's a few credit cards out there that we would blacklist, although we don't want you to get any of them, but for sure, there's some of them that are just more rascally than others for sure. Yeah. Not user friendly. Yeah. And they don't, I mean, on purpose. It's user friendly to create. Oh yeah. Yeah. That part has to be awesome. Right. Yeah. But then like to get the backend, to find out what your interest rate is, you have to like give a DNA sample or whatever you like.

6:14You never know some of these places, but you know, I want to back up a little bit because this is a story that we hear a lot, which is I, well, first of all, you're super smart. If you're an accounting, I consider you a genius. Okay. I just want you to know that you're super smart. You have your own business, your husband, whatever he's doing. If you have to be commission based, I really feel like you have to be on it to do that kind of stuff, you know? But the thing is there's so many moving parts. That's what you said. Like, let me already not like really budgeting. And then I have my own business.

6:43You guys are running your own business. You have to do a budget based on commission now, all of a sudden, like there's so many complications going on with your money that where it was already felt complicated. Let me add these other fun layers. And I think that a lot of times, you know, that's, that's where some of the problems are. And a lot of times you make good money, but you rely on the credit cards because that's something you can understand. That's a number I can pay off a number I can pay off and I don't have to like actually get into, get into it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to also backtrack too, because when you, we first started coaching, your husband wasn't on commission.

7:19But we did the math and we kind of realized how much more he could make if he did transition to that commission-based income. But there was going to be a moment of not necessarily scarcity, but like a lower amount of income to get to the point where he was going to be making what he was going to be making consistently after doing it for a little bit. Because the time that we started coaching was kind of a lull in his industry in that moment. but we, we really, you know, crunched the numbers to make sure that it was going to work. So kind of talk about, I know there was like some, some scarcity on his, on his end of kind of transitioning to that.

7:57Can you, can you talk through that? Yeah. So I, I think that, you know, the biggest thing for us was communication around money. It was extremely hard. So that just alone created a sense of scarcity just because there really was no conversation. And having your guys' guidance on how to communicate about money was, it was huge. like I am no longer scared to talk about money and my whole mindset around money has completely changed from scarcity to just like okay now I'm in control of my money which you know we're not in control of a lot of things in our life but now I am totally in control of my money so it's a great feeling but during that transition period that the feeling of scarcity was really alleviated not only by communicating about it, but also him communicating to his job and working through like how they could structure it, how they could release the payments and stuff like that throughout that time period.

9:11And that has continued on as well. So, I mean, we all know that we can talk to our employer, but realizing that you can actually talk to them about the payroll side of it too, like when to release those payments and stuff, that was huge too. and from a wife to a husband standpoint, just encouraging him to have that kind of annoying conversation in order to help us was very rewarding in the sense that, okay, his job, I mean, I knew it wasn't an amazing company, but just that they really care about us too. Like they want us to succeed as well. That just reminds me of something that I'm sure Vanessa said in this coaching session that she says all the time, which is never be afraid of the ask.

9:54and so you know him going to his employer and and and asking for something i mean and then they said yes you know like amazing what what a concept right but i i wanted to ask you specifically if you remember any because i think that hits really hard i think when you said you know i'm no longer scared to talk about money which i think a lot of people resonate with that especially if you have this credit card stuff and so is there anything specific you remember when you said Vanessa guided you kind of like how to talk about it and you know what what you did or what you said or how you change your mindset in order to not be scared to talk about it anymore the first thing was in the very beginning when I was like my husband doesn't know that we're meeting it was it was a huge weight on me because I didn't want to keep it from him but you know it it's another expense well well well well well worth it but just Vanessa encouraging me to have that hard conversation and to just push through and that was again I feel like the theme is like freedom it was just very freeing and felt really good to be like I'm working with this amazing woman who is helping us become financially free from all of this, these restraints on our money, on our relationship as well.

11:23And I don't necessarily remember the exact words because I think that kind of depends on the situation, but it was just the encouragement of okay you're you're thinking about it way worse than it's actually going to be probably because that's what we tend to do especially as women so it's going to be okay and just giving me like an idea of how to approach that and staying calm like I mean I worked specifically with Vanessa but I'm sure like we both are extremely good at like staying calm and one thing that was amazing is like every single session Vanessa was just like down to business it was like we're chatting numbers and and and that's all we're doing like it's not complex we're just going to get this down and we're going to figure out where the money is going and where it's coming in and it's just simple like it's mine simple is the best word yesterday my daughter had a beach volleyball tournament and I'm not smart.

12:29Vanessa, when her kids play sports, she puts their necklaces on. I put my daughter's necklace on and put it in my pocket. Big mistake. I know you know that. We all know that. Okay. But I had, so I untangled it for her since I, since I got it tangled up. And this is what I've been thinking about lately is when you say that Vanessa said she's down to business, it's just the numbers. It's like, we're just untangling this, this, you know, necklace, you know, we just got to pull this one this way and that way. And, you know, You guys had to get your business figured out. You had to get his commission schedule set up.

12:58And then she got you on a plan to start paying off debt, which you could be doing. And obviously, you didn't need to be using debt or all of that. It isn't complex, but it is just numbers. It's just numbers. And Vanessa will always say, you're so close to it and you are emotional about it. But that bird's eye view, we can be different about it. I remember you texting me and I think we even had a like mid-month conversation on the phone because you and your husband had a conversation and didn't go well. And I remember just having you approach it in a different way than I think some of us are used to.

13:33Because sometimes we come at it with, well, you or I or the, you know, it's just it comes across differently. And I think what we tried to do was worded of us and our and we and our goals and what we're going to do together and really allow him to make some of the decisions of just asking the questions and being silent and letting him feel like even though you and I were the ones meeting, this is benefiting everyone. And we wanted him to be involved in the background. So when we finished our sessions, we wanted you to go back and be like, hey, this is what we talked about. What do you think? And then stop talking.

14:09Right? And just allow him to have a part in that. So I think that, again, like Shayna said, just having somebody else come in and talking to you about how to reward stuff so it doesn't feel like an attack or a parent-child relationship. It really is both of you guys together coming in as a team and making a plan. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah, imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done-for-you system that actually works.

14:48You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after-hour support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next. Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up, and we will help you go further faster.

15:21Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. My husband is an amazing man, and I love him so much. And you're right. It's a we thing. Like we want the same thing. Nobody wants to be in debt. That's not fun. You know, so yeah, that's a wee thing. And it's also guys, it's also this thing when you're, I'm imagining you running your own business because we run our own business and I know how freeing and not stressful that is. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. And then he's on the commission base or, you know, he transitioned that there's a lot of pressure there. There's a lot of pressure on both of you.

15:57And so it's like money turns, you know, turns, turns negative pretty easily because we're both feeling a lot of pressure. And, you know, those conversations can be, can be harder to, to come at with, with the right angle. However, what we really are, one really quick tip is what you said and what Vanessa said, let's refocus it on our goals. Like, because we get in the doldrums of running a business and, and making this the next sale or talking to the next, landing the next client or whatever, that we stop dreaming. And that really can be a really easy, fun beginning of the conversation. What do we actually want?

16:33Because once we figure that out, paying off credit card debt is like, duh, let's do that because I want to go do this other thing that we just dreamt about, you know. And I think a lot of us just forget that part because we're in the busy part, you know, busy seasons of life. Yeah, it's, oh my gosh, it's so funny that you bring up like dreaming because I didn't realized that the lack of knowing where the money was going was really just pushing down my actual dreams. And I've done a lot of work like during the time when we were working together and even post that really figuring out what exactly I want to do.

17:09And so I'm actually opening up or I just opened another business that I'm super excited about. So yeah, it's funny that you brought that up that was not scripted so excited i'm so excited for you well sorry i don't know i don't mean to hit it just kind of felt like it was here i think that you know our men have a similar they have something similar inside of them and i think the the other thing about conversations with money is you know um it you know for men it can feel like you know you're kind of attacking their manhood if if there if there are problems with the money then obviously if he thinks his job is to be a provider.

17:51You know, there is a little bit of that going on. And so that's just another way that if you can gently approach it, because you know, you love him, he loves you, you guys really do. Like you said, it's your dream wasn't to be in credit card debt, but just understanding some of those things. And if you can just come at it with a different approach, like already knowing that, not that it's your job to completely solve it, but just knowing that and having that perspective, it just makes those conversations easier. And anyway, you can move on from that, but I just, no, no, it's true. It's absolutely true.

18:18I want to, I want to talk about the money aspect of coaching because I remember when you came in and you know, the price that you paid for coaching is the same price that, you know, we have now and we'll have for a really long time. So kind of explain about investing in yourself like this for the first time. I'm going to speak for women as a whole. I think that women as a whole have a difficult time investing in themselves. But throughout my life, and especially the last year, I have realized investing in yourself is the single most important thing you can do as a mom, as a wife, as just a woman in general, because the payoff is well worth it.

19:04And that doesn't just apply to financial coaching. Financial coaching is so important, but it applies to everything. And as women, we tend to just say, oh, well, I'll get to it later. I'll get to me later. I'll get to our finances later. Well, now is probably the best time because you're motivated. As people are listening to this or the thought is crossing your mind, that is the time. That is the time to click the button and click, you know, schedule the call. I was so nervous before our call because I knew that you were going to want me to sign up because I mean, why else would I book the call with you?

19:43And plus, you know, I work my own business too. So we all know that when we click the button and schedule the meeting that that person is going to want to work with us. And during our call, I, I just when you have the call and you feel that connection that is when you know that this is meant for you that that's like my determining factor it's like okay I've been praying for this I've scheduled a call we're connecting I feel like they can help me and it's like you you gotta you gotta pull the trigger because otherwise fear overrides and when fear overrides nothing good ever happens. So just starting then, and I remember you said something like, are you the type of person who like wants to, like you're motivated by starting like right now, or, you know, you got to think about it a little bit.

20:39Well, most people I think fall into that category of like start now. And I remember you scheduled our call, like our first couple calls. and I was like oh my gosh I'm really doing this like this is super scary it costs money but it was way way way worth it like now I have a pretty excel sheet that I love opening and it may not always tell me exactly what I want it to like in that our bills are all paid but then I know okay well that's the money that I need to find those are the people that I need to bless with the services that I offer and that my husband can do with his business as well. Honestly, that is my favorite part about budgeting.

21:22I know this is going to sound silly, but to me, it's knowing all the work that you're doing is going somewhere, you know, especially as a business owner, you know, especially making those commissions, you know, Vanessa's husband makes big bonuses that can all just, you know, you can be working so hard to get those numbers And then you just don't know where it's going. But on the flip side, if you have all of your numbers, you're like, look, this, this, this commission is going to pay off this credit card. The next one or the next client is going to start saving for our vacation. Like, and you just know these things.

21:53It just puts a whole different mindset behind the work that you're doing and the way that you're going into doing the work, you know, because you know, it's where it's going. You have that, you said freedom. I think the piece of knowing your bills are all paid. And then this, you know, I'm sure you guys established that number. This number is baseline. And then all the any extra numbers, let's party, you know, and I just think it's such a difference. Yeah, yeah. You also had your business and personal together. So we definitely made you a business budget all separate over there in its own. And I think that really helped allow you to see your business and its own entity and know exactly how much you need to run your business and then and then be able to make money for your for your company or for your personal income.

22:36I want to talk about one really hard session we have. I don't know if you're, I'm sure you remember it because you asked me, you said, I need you to be like brutally honest. I need you to tell me all the things that I know that I need to hear, but I don't want you to say, um, can you talk a little bit about that? Did you do it? Yes. I messaged you afterwards. I was like, oh my gosh, I wanted to throw up because I felt so not bad, but because I know in that moment, that's what you asked for, but it was still hard. Those hard conversations can still be hard. So I do remember that session. And I am such a big believer of you have to have people in your life who are actually going to tell you the truth.

23:19And especially when you have a financial coach like you guys and you're like, I was paying you. I'm like, okay, like it's time to get like all of my pennies like paid back to me. And I was like, I know that Vanessa will tell me the truth too. You're just going to lay it down. And so I was, I was at a point where I just needed someone to tell me the truth about exactly what I needed to do in order to make our finances work better or work easier, maybe would be a better way of saying it. And when I asked you that, it was extremely fearful on my end. So, you know, like the sweat is happening and all that stuff.

24:07But it was necessary because I needed to hear that I needed to work a little bit harder in my business in order to make our finances easier. And it also, So like if I didn't work harder, which sometimes I didn't like I did, but, you know, kind of half half did it. That also helped me realize that I needed to figure out exactly what my passion really is. And that's also what helped me create my new business as well. So that kind of like fulfilling all goals with asking the hard questions and asking for brutal honesty. And I mean, props to you guys for giving it. Well, I'm going to go back and see if I can figure out what you said, because I feel like I hear a podcast coming on.

25:04But, you know, when we talk about financial freedom, when we talk about financial independence, this is what it means. you need to know your numbers so that if you hate your job, like, you know, maybe you're stuck in a nine to five, look at your numbers. What do we need to do to make a change? And that clarity is what gives you like direction, right? And in that direction, you can, you know, maybe you can pay off all your credit card debt. And then you feel really good about launching the different business and like focusing on that and going all in or whatever, you know, and but you don't know these things until you have the data and the data right there.

25:37It doesn't lie. Like you said, you log in and wish maybe it would say other things, but it didn't magically change overnight. It's so rude, but it doesn't lie. It tells the truth, but it gives you direction. It gives you clarity. And I think that that really is financial independence. We say it's not about retiring at 65 because you got your social security check or whatever. It's about knowing your numbers and going somewhere on purpose and being able to be financially independent. Yeah. I think that conversation allowed you, like you said, to see, okay, if I want to do this, this is what I need, or I can do it a different way, which allowed you to see that opening the doors for your other business, which I think is fantastic.

26:13I'm so excited for you. And I think you saw your passion in your first business dwindle away a little bit as to what it was years before. And I think that being in a job that you're not passionate about, you're not excited about, it can show. And I think you saw that. You knew that. You felt it. And so you needed to bring your energy somewhere else. And so I'm not surprised that you started another business because I think that that is probably exactly what you needed in the time that you needed it. Yeah. And I'm not giving up my other business. Just kind of, you know, taking it back down and and still loving and fulfilling my clients needs in my old business.

26:55But now offering something on top of that as well. Yeah. So you guys do get some credit for that. Well, thank you. So, well, yeah, like, like I said, it's easier to see what the bird's eye view. I had, I have a client right now. She is a softball pitching coach for, well, for girls, obviously, because they're the ones that play softball. And I just, I, you know, we were able to, I was able to watch her toil away at in-person lessons. Her body's falling apart. She's paying all these tunnel fees. Like her business is just killing her. And then she eventually is able to move to a bigger offer online, you know, be able to be present with her family.

27:30And so you don't again, if you don't know your numbers, you don't know what what you can do. And and if you're just running around, I don't know, you said scared. You had some some really deep words or heavy words there, Diana. Like if that's where you're at, you don't have the mental clarity. Be like, oh, this isn't the right business or I'm not doing this business right here because you're just in that. So it really is a layer to get that all figured out. And then you can actually focus and have more clarity on the other areas of your life. Amen. Well, thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your story.