281. Build Wealth Without Leaving Your Culture Behind with Bricia Lopez

0:00You're afraid of success because you don't want to leave your old life behind. Because for so many people, especially women and members of other marginalized communities, success often comes with an unspoken expectation. Leave parts of yourself behind to be taken seriously. My guest today grew her family's restaurant and learned that money can be created and also disappear just as fast. She's a chef, restaurateur, and author who spent her career challenging why some labor is undervalued, why certain cultures are expected to be affordable, and why success is so often defined by someone else's rules.

0:30In this conversation, we talk about money and identity, what it means to honor your culture and your family while pursuing bigger goals, how to cultivate friendships and supportive partners where you can be open about your money and ambition, and why real wealth isn't just about income. It's about agency, values, and choice. Today's guest is Brescia Lopez. She is a chef, entrepreneur, and cultural steward, and the co-owner of Gala Getza, the James Beard award-winning Oaxacan restaurant. Jonathan Gold called, quote, the best Oaxacan restaurant in the United States. She is the author of two acclaimed cookbooks and is the central figure in bringing Mezcal and Oaxacan specificity into the U.S.

1:06mainstream. Let's get into it.

1:12Bricia Lopez:But first, a word from our sponsors. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We love Squarespace. We've been using them forever, and we think you should use them too. Squarespace is the place to get your website, payment platform, whether you're selling content or products or time. All of that can happen inside Squarespace as well as donations and so much more. We appreciate you supporting Squarespace who has been supporting us since the chauffeur started in 2021. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is your best friend. They're going to give you everything you need to claim your domain, to showcase your offerings, to grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

1:48And you can buy domains in Squarespace too. Head on over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code FFpod to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. I love learning. I wouldn't be hosting a podcast if I didn't like learning from people, but you might not host a podcast. Statistically, you probably don't. So the next best thing to hosting your own podcast is Masterclass. You can go to Masterclass and find the world's best instructors teaching you anything you want to know, whether that is fitness or cooking or improv from Amy Poehler. It's all there.

2:21One of my favorite masterclasses that I'm loving right now is Joanna Gaines's masterclass. She talks about how to build your dream home on a budget. And as someone who just became a homeowner, I needed this like yesterday, and it's been so, so helpful. Masterclass keeps adding new classes, so there's never been a better time to get in. Right now, as a listener of the show, you can get at least 15 % off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash ffpod. That's 15 % off at masterclass.com slash ffpod. Head to masterclass.com slash FFpod to see the latest offer.

3:05So you grew up inside your family's restaurant from a very young age. What was the earliest money lessons you learned, even if no one explicitly talked about money? Man, what were the first... Is this like my therapy session that I need before my... Potentially, if you want it to be. What are the lessons that I learned early on about money? I learned early on that you could just make money. That you could just make it. That you don't really have to go to a job. That you can just make it. When you say make money, was it... You can just bring money in. You can just create it. You don't really have to go somewhere every day.

3:43have a quote-unquote job that you can just kind of go and create and then money comes. Yeah. I think most people don't have that view of money. So for you, was that the daughter of immigrant experience? Was that the entrepreneurial experience? Most women we talk to do not think that positively about making and earning money. Yeah. I mean, there's many things that think about money. I think that's just the first that came to mind when you were talking about. My father has always been a merchant, entrepreneur, whatever you want to call it. My mom was always at home with him, supporting him. My mom always had a little notebook, which is funny because I also have a little notebook everywhere I go.

4:24And she would keep tabs of their money. And my mom also came from parents, grandparents who had stores in their little town. We were not means by any chance. We grew up in Oaxaca. My parents came from a small little town in Oaxaca, Mitla and Matatlan. We weren't financially literate, right? But I understood that my parents would just create... My dad sold mezcal. He was a mezcal maker and he used to sell mezcal. But this is way back before people were drinking mezcal in Brooklyn, New York. This is just way, way back. When I was in my late teens, early 20s, my parents were bankrupt. So then I also saw my parents just lose everything.

5:09I mean, everything, their home, their cars. My car got repossessed. So I just remember that feeling of, oh, you can make it, but it can also be gone like that. And I saw my father lose everything twice. At the same time that I realized that you could go and create it and you can just go and make it. I also learned very early on, or maybe not early enough, that you need to take care of it. and have it grow for you and work for you and you not work for it. And that's sort of the journey where I'm on right now. Well, and you had a very typical immigrant experience. I think especially like you were the translator, you were the accountant, you were like sometimes the decision maker when you were a child.

5:53So how does that kind of responsibility shape your relationship to work and wealth when you're doing all of those responsibilities as a kid? Yeah, my parents moved here to LA when I was about 10 years old. None of us knew how to speak English. So by the time I was 12 years old, I was pretty proficient in English, 12, 13. And by the time I was 15, I was like the family's attorney. My sister, my brother and I, my parents would just take us everywhere and we would translate everything they needed. My parents always sort of brought us in almost as if we were business partners in a sense. We were all working together, but everything was shared openly.

6:32You know how everything was going, what needed to be done, who needed to get let go. We were always included in those conversations. Not like that we had say, but everything was just talked about. There was no blur between home and the restaurant. And also you're in a restaurant and the restaurant industry is very specific. You have to create a movie every single day. Like you have to create an event every single day. Every single day is a new production and nothing can go wrong because if one thing goes wrong, it's all word of mouth. So if you have one client leave with a bad experience, it's so bad for business.

7:12It's such a grueling industry, but it teaches you so much about resilience. I've never heard a phrase like that. It is a production every single day. Oh, yes. You're exactly right. Where I loved her hearing food described as like, it's the only thing that is achieves all five senses or like works all five senses. It's one of the only experiences where sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of touch, sense of, yeah, it's all there. But also your added pressure as a restaurateur where you're exactly right. It is like everything has to go well. And if something doesn't go well, the ripple effect of that could be so costly.

7:48And you have to manage an entire crew. Everything. from production to lighting to plumbing. You can have the most great day and all of a sudden your plumbing goes off and then what happens? Or your heater breaks. Or your AC goes off. Or there's a leak in the roof. I mean, you can't name... I mean, I can go on and on about the industry. But it teaches you a lot. And I think that people who are in the industry who do very well in it is because it's people who are just out there every single day who are doing what they're doing. Yeah. Was there a moment that you realized is your definition of success might look different than what you saw growing up, or at least what like mainstream culture celebrates as success?

8:29I think if I'm going to be completely honest with you, I think I'm just learning to be too, even right now, it's just, what is that? I think it just changes as you, as you grow, you know, as you enter a new decade in life, you start sort of like re-managing what success is. I think success looked very different to me in my thirties than it did in my twenties. And then it does now that I'm 40. But I think I've always felt like I'm very like, no, I'm not like successful, but like I felt like I was going in a, I was following a deeper purpose, if that makes any sense. But I do think that at some point, I thought that success had to be defined in a certain way.

9:09And I think today I see success as just peace, which is very different than the success my parents saw. And now that my parents are older, they're retired, they live a great life in Oaxaca. I see their life as a huge success. It's a huge success. They have four children who are very close-knit. Their legacy is still alive. And they live a very peaceful life in their beautiful home in Oaxaca. Every day they get up, my mom feeds her chickens. They eat great food. I mean, talk about success. They eat incredibly well every day. My mom goes to the market every single day. She grabs incredible quality produce, better than we get sometimes.

9:49She farms her chickens. She knows exactly what she's eating. I mean, she breathes fresh air every single day and knits. Like, I think that's success. Yeah. Well, and I love... We've had a lot of conversations on this show with ambitious women who have to redefine what success looks like for them. And you mentioned this industry. And as someone who has dated people who worked in this industry, who has friends who work in this industry, who has so much respect for chefs, I do think that the industry tells you success is Michelin stars and beard awards and reviews at the New York Times and just going up and up and up and up and up.

10:26Those are nice, though. Those are all nice. Oh, of course. Of course. But at a certain point, I think you're right that we are all, especially as women, trying to figure out what success actually means, separate from the accomplishments and the accolades. Success can be those things, absolutely. But also, if you are achieving all of that, but you're getting to the end of the day and you're not very happy with your life, then do you feel successful? Yeah, then that's not success. That's just you living for someone else's approval. Whatever your values are, I think success is living by your values, whatever those are.

11:01Yeah, absolutely. Because there's certain people who really value those things. And that could be their success. And if they value them, they're amazing. But there's certain people who value other things more. So I think it's just success is living truly in your values every single day. I love what Brizia just said about success is living your values every day. And values are something I talk about a lot here on the podcast. And in fact, one of my main financial tenets is value-based spending. aligning your spending with your own values. But it's really hard to do if you don't actually have a plan at all for where your money's going.

11:33So if you're someone who struggles to figure out your spending, whether it's not knowing how to track or where your money is going, I built a challenge just for you. The Saving Sprint gives you one small doable task every day to build real momentum and to see your progress fast. You can go to herfirsthenderk.com slash ffpod to join this savings sprint. It's completely free. And in less than a week, you can find extra cash hidden in your budget. You can automate your savings so you actually build wealth and you can finally feel in control of your money. So I wanted to step in here really quick, give you this free resource, herfirsthundredk.com slash FFpod.

12:11Use it to transform your savings. All right, back to the episode. We, in our research, found out that during the recession, your family made a choice to cut personal comfort instead of cutting their food quality at the restaurant. And that was a huge leap of faith, but also incredibly strategic. Can you talk to me about that decision or like what went into it? The restaurant's been around for over 30 years, right? Like it is wild. She's old. In restaurant years, she's over a hundred, you know? It is a long time. But I think that there's something to be said about legacy, tradition, and culture that by definition just cannot be replaced because it's so embedded somewhere.

12:55It has just such deep roots. So for us, it's just always remembering that. Why do we do this? Because when you do something that's so challenging every day and so taxing on your body, and really the margins aren't great in restaurants. Everybody knows that now, right? you're really doing it for your values like I said so it's like what do we value we value community we value quality we value my job I I've always thought of it as not just preserving my culture but really championing it and respecting in a way because if I respect it then others will respect it so I means that I need to push my best foot forward if I produce something it's going to be the best because that's what we deserve and that's what we should be accustomed to.

13:48I'm just trying to set the standards higher for the next generation so then they have just a higher set of standards. So when they go and they ask for something, they know what to expect and say like, oh no, I'm used to better. So I think for us, it's just always been that and that's always been our North Star in everything we do from producing our monthly festivals to every single day at the restaurant except on Mondays, it is really to push our best foot forward for our culture and how we can do that. And it's just quality. The other day, I invited a group of friends for brunch at my restaurant.

14:21They were talking about how great the chilequilas were. I'm like, oh my God, the chilequilas are so great. How are they not soggy? And they were just going on and on and on. You read about all these techniques and how to get the chilequilas soggy and not and this and that. And I'm like, I'm going to tell you guys the truth. You know why? Because those tortillas that you see right there were made in Oaxaca by a very specific group of women using a very specific group of corn. They were flown all the way to Los Angeles so you could have them. That really is why they taste so good. There's just no other way of going around it.

14:52And we do that. We do that because we really care. There's a running joke on this show that all I do is cry. And you got me already. No, that's why I love food. Because it's such a immediate, it immediately helps you understand somebody's culture. It makes you respect them. Yes. And when somebody like you is like so passionate about it, I'm like, yeah, we're going to fire tortillas in. And that's what's going to make them great. Like, I just fucking love that shit. It just makes me so happy. It's so good. It's so good. Thank you. Thank you. It's also great to know that people appreciate it, you know, because it does go unnoticed every single day.

15:33I mean, we sell tons of chilequilus. No one really understands. And that's why it's just so important. And thank you for having me on the podcast. I think it's just so important to retell the stories over and over again, because the only way that our culture is going to continue to be pushed forward is through us. It's us. It's the people in the kitchen. Just give people great food. One of the things that really sort of blew my mind, I think I can say this in this podcast, is this story. I had this realization, come to Jesus moments, when I realized I am a margarita running in a martini race and I can't do that.

16:07I have to run my own race. I was at a conference, Cherry Bomb Conference. Cherry Bomb, for those of you who don't know, it's a wonderful magazine. Women-owned, women-led. They highlight women in the industry. I love that magazine. So they had a great, beautiful event in LA. I was privileged enough to be in a panel with other great women. And I met this woman who runs a restaurant group here in Los Angeles. She has six restaurants and I'm a huge fan because I only have one. And to meet someone who has six successful ones and who runs the shit and does her thing, I'm always about many women like that.

16:41I mean, tell me everything. What do you do? What's working? What's not? What are your profits like? What are your margins? Are you up? Are you down? So we're always exchanging information with each other. So I was explaining to her, we were 20 % down this year. This was last year, which is actually great because the industry was down 75. So I felt like I was kind of winning. But she was telling me that she was up 15. And I believed it because I had been to her places. So that's a 35 % swing. That's like crazy. So I was like, but what are you doing? What is happening? What is the thing? And she was saying, she was strategizing.

17:18and she said, oh my God, Gracia, you know what just really hit? It's like this$10 martini. People just really come for$10 martini because in their mind it's just like cheap, it's great and then they stay and then, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. And then I started like thinking, oh, well, that's just like happy hour stuff. Like that's okay, okay. But why is yours like hitting so differently? And then I realized, oh my God, I know why. Because the perception that this culture today has of a martini is$35. Somehow, the martini has been able to present herself as a$35 drink.

17:57Well, meanwhile, the margarita, poor margarita comes here. She's like made out of the most wonderful juice, come from the gods. An actual god came from heaven, stroked down with mayawel, and out came the agave. Like an actual goddess, okay? she's an actual goddess like facts if i try to put a ten dollar margarita in the menu for as a special people are gonna be like no if it's a special give me a five dollar margarita people's perception of a margarita is not 35 and i was like holy like i had this whole like coming to jesus moment i was like i can't run that i can't come i have to run my own ratings i have to carve my own path.

18:42I have to run faster. I have to just... I can't. It's crazy that a martini made out of potato. Okay? She's just vodka. She's cold vodka. Look, nothing against a martini. I love a martini. Okay? Yeah, but it's not the same level of craft. Absolutely not. It's not the same level of craft. It's not just tequila, but lime juice. You know how expensive lime juice is? You know how expensive lime is? Go buy limes at the market. You know?

19:14Bricia Lopez:Good sleep is everything. That's why Oli's Science Back Support is made with a blend of melatonin and L-theanine for both kiddos and grownups. So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help. Erasing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance. Find Oli's sleep solutions for the whole family at Oli.com. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. We've been using Squarespace for so long, you're probably sick of me talking about it, but it's because it's one of the best tools that you can use to grow a business, to be a freelancer, because you need a beautiful website.

19:50And that's where Squarespace comes in. One of my favorite parts about Squarespace is that they make it really, really easy to drag and drop so that you can design a website in literally a weekend, which is what I did with my partner's website for his new business. I also use Squarespace to help him be able to process payments within the platform so you're not spending money on an additional payment platform. We love Squarespace at Financial Feminist and you'll love them too. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is your best friend. They're going to give you everything you need to claim your domain, to showcase your offerings, to grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

20:24And you can buy domains in Squarespace too. Go to squarespace.com slash ffpod for a free trial to check it out. And when you're ready to launch, you can use offer code FFpod to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Squarespace.com slash FFpod.

20:44What your story tells me and is also the perfect transition to my next question. Anybody listening, chef or not, there's two things there that I think are really powerful. One, that you have a group of women who will talk openly about money with each other. Oh, yes. Because most people won't. And that will talk about margins and talk about wins and losses and talk about all of that. but also too that you've realized what works for her will not work for me. And what works for her restaurant or her niche or her situation might not be relevant for me. It might be, I might be able to learn or I might go, you know what, I run a different business.

21:17And my next question was going to be, why do you think that customers are willing to pay premium prices for certain things, but hesitate when it comes to Mexican food, other than the obvious, which is racism? Like why, what would you say to someone who generally doesn't understand why quality Mexican food shouldn't be cheap. Yeah. Well, let's take the first part of the question because I think that's an important one. I think it's very important if you, girly, are listening out there, if you don't got girlfriends that share with you their income, how they live their life, how they invest and how they grow their money, they're not your friends.

21:53Friends will make sure that you're taken care of. Friends will give you the truth. Friends will be like, listen, girl, this is how much I'm making. This is how much I spend. This is the way I manage my budget. This is what I'm investing in. You and I are going to get along. We love it. This is like, I read this article. I had a crypto chain in my WhatsApp group with some girlfriends back in the day. We're like, you girls. I'm like, I don't know anything about it. Like, educating each other. This is what you need. One of my best friends, she wrote Lose Warrior. She wrote a book about finances. And in her book, she was talking about how she's the one who brought me into knowing about how to invest.

22:30She was like the girlfriend in the group. Her and my other girlfriend, Patty, would always in a group chat. And she was the one who first told me, Brisa, you got to buy your first Netflix stock. She's the one who pushed me into buying my first Netflix stock that I still have, like years ago. So I think it's just very, very important that you all are very open with your friends. And if you don't feel comfortable with certain friends, then join some sort of networking group that will put you in a place where you feel safe talking about money. So the group that we are in, I co-founded this nonprofit called Regarding Her, where it's made up of, I think we're over like 300 members now, all in the industry.

23:10I could be wrong. It's probably more. All in the food industry, all women. We have monthly Zoom calls. We talk about where we are. Where are you? What's working for you? What's not working for you? This is the issues that I'm having. I got sued this week. So did I. You know, this guy's charging me this much. That guy's, you know, hey, give me the contact. Oh my God, yesterday this happened. My sales are down 10. My sales are up 20. My lunch is going up. My lunch is going down. Like all of these things. How are you supposed to grow without information? You need to be around. That's why I love asking questions.

23:44Like if all of my friends who probably, if anyone listens to me who knows me, they're going to be like, oh yeah, Risa asks all the questions. No, but that's what you want. And that's why we've created our communities and our programs and the community we have, because as important it is, I think, to talk about money with the people in your life, for somebody who's never done that, that may feel really intimidating. And it's actually easier to talk to a stranger or someone who you're just connected to more as an acquaintance than someone who is your best friend or your partner or your parent. And so I love that you're doing that too.