288. How to Stop Burning Out While Building Your Dreams with Michelle Razavi

24:07It's not going to necessarily be strongest right from the bat. But I've been flexing that and that's been so helpful. And I've been encouraging my team as well where I'm like, I might slack you at a weird odd hour. You don't have to respond if that's not the most opportune time for you. And so the can it wait, I think is a really helpful, quick way to snap your brain out of that fight or flight. I have to respond right away. Everything is urgent and more into let's be thoughtful.

24:32Financial Feminist:Yeah. I love that. Can it wait? Yeah. Yeah. And also, is this serving me? Like always, is it serving me? And if it's not, again, not going to like, oh God, I spent 45 minutes on TikTok today. Fuck. Like, you know, shaming yourself for like, oh, I let that person at work get to me again. It's just like, no. Okay. Is this serving me? Nope. Okay. So let's choose a different thought. Yeah. Let's go down a different path. Choose again. Yeah. When you notice yourself slipping into a reactive mode, like we're talking about, okay, This thing happens. I'm reacting. What are the first signs in your body and your behavior that tell you that burnout is creeping in?

25:11Elevated heart rate. Yeah. Shortness of breath. Yep. Sweaty hands. Yep. And these are similar to a panic attack. These are similar to a stress response. And the physiological response is, look, I'm more in tune with my body because I teach yoga and I practice that and I've been doing that for years. But, you know, these little moments, even just thinking about how is my breath feeling? Like, am I feeling this tightness? Like, and where is this compression?

25:38Financial Feminist:You just said breath and I was like, I haven't taken a deep breath all day. Or my favorite, my favorite is, are my shoulders coming up to my ears? Did my neck suddenly disappear and I need to like drop it down? So it's like these moments. Yeah, exactly. Take the deep breath. Everyone else take it. Like these moments, like these physical cues are your first line of defense of realizing, okay, I'm in fight or fight response right now. And look, we're not going to be perfect. Sometimes we get reactive. Sometimes, very often, I still get reactive. I do too. And what I try to do is build some systems or protective forces against myself.

26:15So if someone sends me an email and it immediately jolts me, I have now learned like, okay, can it wait? Can I take a beat? Sometimes I'll run it through chat GPT and be like, hey, how would you respond or help me process through this? or I'm fortunate to have a co-founder. I'll be like, hey, I need to chat through this or kind of chat someone that is your peer or your partner. So to be able to kind of get it off your chest or write it down or set a calendar invite to come back to this later. All these ways are little tools that you can kind of create to protect yourself to try to stop yourself from reacting.

26:48Financial Feminist:Yeah. And it's normal. Happened to me recently. I thought that my period of reacting to this kind of thing was over. like 2022, 2023 was going through a lot of like people yelling at me online. And it feels very, I joke, it's pitchforks and torches. Like your body doesn't know the difference between people yelling at you online and people standing outside your door with pitchforks and torches. Like they do, your body does not understand the difference. And I candidly thought, oh, I have the tools to be able to handle this. I've been through this. I know what's going on. Happened a couple months ago, super reactive, wasn't fully in that space I was in a couple of years ago.

27:27Financial Feminist:But looking back like a day later, I was like, oh, that was kind of PTSD. And I just went right back there. And I didn't blame myself. Again, I wasn't like, oh, you're not as involved as you thought you were. I was just like, oh, interesting. Okay. So we got more work to do there. Right. How did it feel in your body? Oh, it's pitchforks and torches. It is like, it is even talking about it. Like knees weak, arms heavy, like sweat, like palms are sweaty. Like I also just feel, um, for literally in 2023, my partner at one point found me in a closet. Like I had curled up in a closet because I was like, I need to feel as small as possible and I need to have nobody find me and nobody can get me here.

28:09Yeah.

28:09Financial Feminist:Like that's when it was really bad. And so that same feeling, you can just see even like, I'm getting a little teary. Like that same feeling came up where I was like, I, yeah, I felt like a, I felt like a child. I felt like I need to make, yeah, make myself as small as possible and find the place where nobody can hurt me. And yeah, it was like, okay, we've done a lot of work there. Sounds like we still have some more work to do there. Yeah. Can I ask, how did you get yourself out of it? I called my lawyer. There you go. I love that. I called my lawyers who are great. We've been working with our lawyers now for like a couple of years.

28:48Financial Feminist:So they know me, they know our business really well. And I've also become friends with them. So they're there to both like soothe me as like a friend and somebody they care about, but also to be like, I needed the cerebral person to tell me. Pull you back in. Yeah, okay. We'll handle this if this happens and this is what we can do. Right. Otherwise, we're just gonna watch it and nothing's going to happen. And I'm like, great. Okay. And then even in like 20 minutes, I had calmed down because I had processed it with somebody else. Right. And also processed it with somebody who I A, trusted, but B, knew that they would give it to me straight.

29:27Financial Feminist:Right. Right. Well, I think that's the first step is understanding what are your tools to kind of pull you out of that so that you can immediately in this stressed out state, be like, okay, I know I have my lawyer. I know I have, you know, this close partner. or for me, it's my COO. It's somebody else on the team. I also will say, and I would love your thoughts on this. In 2022, 2023, when I was definitely burned out, when things were really, like I had just launched the book, I was like not doing well. Everybody had told me and all of the wisdom was, you need to go meditate. That's how you calm your brain down.

30:04Financial Feminist:And I did that for so long and realized it wasn't working. And instead I needed to like throw some fucking pillows around. Like, or I needed to like go on a walk or I needed to just like scream honestly and just like get energy out of my body. How do we know the difference between I need to, you know, put my hand on my heart, hand on my chest, take like 10 deep breaths, put a meditation on and go to a rage room. Like how do we know the difference? There's no one size fits all approach. And that's the beautiful thing, right? For some people regulating and getting out of that state could be going on a run because they need to just like move it out of their bodies.

30:40I had to get it out of my body. Yeah. And for some other people, it's touching grass and getting into nature or petting a dog and just like reminding themselves that it's not that deep. You know, at the end of the day, we're like a tiny little blip of the universe and kind of get some perspective, right? It's different for everyone. And I think what we should practice and I want to empower if anyone walks away with anything is that different things are going to work for different people and at different times of your life. So maybe meditation worked at a certain point for you, but then until it didn't.

31:07Yeah.

31:07Financial Feminist:Or at least for that situation. Absolutely. Yeah. And situations vary. So I think it's like having this toolbox and go out and try. Like, does running work? Does yoga work? Does petting a dog work? Or does giving back and donating your time and volunteering work just to get yourself out of your brain and into thinking about other people? Try different things, see what works. So that when you're in that stressed out state, you kind of have your list to go through and be like, okay, I'm going to try this. I'm going to try this. What works best, I think, is just knowing yourself and having those past experiences of like, okay, I need to just go like punch a pillow or yell in my car or, you know, really, really just see what works and kind of go down your list and be like, does this work?

31:49No. Does this work? No. When I teach yoga, I tell everyone that Shavasana, which is like at the end of class when you lay down and you like...

31:57Financial Feminist:That's me for an hour in yoga class, by the way. I'm not doing anything else, dude. I'm just Shavasana. Yeah. But some people, they can't rest. They need to tire out the body with like 60 minutes. of movement and flow and breath work so that they can finally rest. And I think that's a great analogy for sometimes you need to move things out of the body. That is me, honestly. And then you can be ready to like be with the breath. We do that at the end of bar. It's like, I work really hard for 45 minutes and my meditation at the end of that is so good all the time. I can actually clear my mind because I've gotten it out of my body.

32:31Financial Feminist:You shook it out. And so I think that's the grace that we should have with ourselves. You're not going to go from like chaos to meditation in two minutes. Sometimes you need to have something in between to kind of physically move it out. Yeah. When we had Martha Beck on the show, Dr. Beck, she was so great. And we'll link the episode. But she talked about the antidote to anxiety isn't doing less. It's actually doing something. Like taking some sort of action. 100%. So is it like doing a puzzle or doing a project or, again, walking or doing something as opposed to thinking, oh, I need to, yeah, clear my mind in two minutes.

33:05Financial Feminist:And that is, you're exactly right. it is very unrealistic to say, oh, I am in fight or flight. I am freaking out. And in two minutes, I'm going to be a blissed out monk. Like that's just not going to work. No. Have you heard of the five senses checklist? Oh yeah. Where you like talk about like three things you can see or like five things. Yeah. Tell the audience. Yeah. So I might butcher the order, but it's like five different things you see. Yep. And then four different things you hear. Three different things you can smell. Two things you can touch. So it's like going through all the five senses and trying to count like, okay, I see that black door.

33:40I see this blue water bottle. I see whatever. And just calling it out. And it forces your brain to get out of the stress response. You're forced to be present. And force you to be present. And that's great for panic attacks. That's great for thought loops or spirals that you're going through. And it just helps ground your nervous system. The second thing, which I know sounds really silly, is just sitting down on the ground. and when you think about it children they play on the ground because it helps regulate them yeah and so sometimes when I'm in back-to-back meetings or I'm just way over stimmy and I need to like ground especially if it's like I'm at Costco all day or whatever I'll just sit on the ground and that helps me reconnect for a little bit yeah I think that's great something you've

34:21Financial Feminist:talked about when in your early years you struggled with building while also maintaining your regular life or even like losing friendships or losing relationships, were those relationships ones that needed to end? Or have you found a better way to balance that all now? I think the word balance is... Yeah. Oh, it's totally a mess. Kind of an interesting word. I think it's just redefining, right? And we go through seasons. Everyone goes through seasons. Outside of being a business owner, women go through seasons of getting married, motherhood, we evolve and shift. I think it's just having for close relationships that are worth having, redefining those with your friends and being like, hey, I'm in a really busy season.

35:06I love you, but I'm just not going to have the time to do catch-up calls every week. But if you need me, we'll voice note back and forth. So it's just kind of like redefining relationships and being honest and communicative about what bandwidth you do have, what you can give. And as long as you're honest and upfront, I feel like that's the best way to handle those relationships.

35:27Financial Feminist:I think it is also understanding that reason, season, lifetime is so crucial with relationships. Sometimes they're there for a reason. Sometimes they're there for a season. Sometimes they're there for your whole life. But there are going to be moments where you're able to be a better friend or a better partner. And there are moments where unfortunately, that might have to be a secondary thing. Yeah. And that's, you know, the myth of women having it all, like we can't. And that's where you properly called out the word balance because you can't really do, like nothing's really balanced. It is a trade-off at certain parts or certain times of your life.

36:07100%. I've gone to so many bachelorette parties with my friends where I bring my laptop and everyone is like going to sleep and I'm the one still working on emails or I'm in the middle of preparing for a big Costco pitch. and they laugh about it because they're my friends, right? They're not going to make fun of me or make me feel bad about it. I'm just like, hey, I'm in the middle of this. I have to do this. I'm still here celebrating you. And also these are my goals. I'm choosing to do this. Like this is something that's really important to me. Yeah, and they're so excited about it. And they're like, that's so cool.

36:31And they're like, oh my God, we can't wait to buy your products in Costco. And, you know, once you bring people along the journey and you, you know, share with them what you're building, you'd be surprised how supportive, you know, the people who are your core people are. And I think that's a great litmus test of how are people showing up when you're going after your dreams and your passions. Like what a cool thing. And hopefully you can inspire them to do the same. And then when they're going through a busy season of whether they're going through motherhood or whatever, it comes back. Yeah.

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39:36Financial Feminist:You were mentioning technology. Let's talk technology in boxes. When you are accessible 24-7 with Slack, with email, with texts, it's so easy to feel like, again, everything's urgent. Right. So whether you're a boss or a founder or not, you are just more accessible now. What boundaries have you had to set with technology? I think about the phone not in your room anymore. What actually works and what doesn't? Let's go down the list. Great. So phone away. I have my phone set to do not disturb automatically starting at 10pm. So whether I want to or not, I'm not getting notifications. I have to physically go and turn it back on.

40:21So I set that barrier with myself. I don't have my phone next to my bed stand anymore. And that has been fantastic in getting me out of the late night TikTok school. It's not serving any purpose. And in the morning, I'm not waking up to email and Slack notifications. I get to take a deep breath. I get to be present and grateful for my healthy body in the morning. And then when I choose, I get to go online. It's not next to me. So I'm eliminating any sort of temptation wherever I can. I do the same. It's in my bathroom. Smart. I have to. And second on Slack, I anytime I'm in meetings I set notifications for do not disturb and anytime I'm traveling I put like a little airplane emoji so my team knows I'm traveling and I'm slower to respond I'm hyper communicative to my team letting them know hey I'm going to be offline during these hours and I hope that also encourages them to to set their own boundaries and I think they have to see the leader your team has to see the leader set boundaries so that they feel empowered as well because I'm not just responsible for managing my burnout but also the managing the burnout of my team.

41:26And I think we forget that, that we have to set that example. And another thing that I like to do is I am not logged into social media for a majority of my day. I have dedicated times where I log in to engage with posts that we're posting that day, to get back to people on messages, and then I'm immediately out of there. And I've built that willpower to not keep logging back in. If you struggle with that, there's so many great apps. There's the block thing too that I'm hearing about.

41:52Financial Feminist:Clear app is the one I use. They're not sponsored. I have to look them up and make sure that's right. Yeah. Or Clear Space. Yeah. Yeah. You can go in and set accessible times and then strict times. Right. You can either do like a schedule or you can say, I've been more turning it off at night where it's like, okay, after four, I cannot touch Instagram until 8am next morning. Yeah. I also set calendar blocks for this deep creative mode. And I just, I'm off the grid. I'm not checking my emails. I'm not pulling into Slack notifications. These are little tiny things that I do. And when I get to see, oh, I'm so productive and I get that dopamine hit of things that I got to get done, that reinforces how important it is.

42:29And also just what we're consuming. Unfollowing accounts that are triggering you, that are spiking your cortisol levels, muting people that are triggering you, that are just not serving you. Kind of the whole, is this serving me? Right. And also just being very conscious of the news that you're consuming too. It's obviously good to be informed, but there's a certain point where it's not helping you and it's not allowing you to be regulated. And so there's so much more I can share, but I think those are the first areas that I would start with if you're struggling. I think I saw someone post about how depressed she was that she spent an hour doom scrolling and it broke my heart to see.

43:11And I'm like, yeah, like it's... When you realize that social media, it's literally designed to keep you engaged. It's like a slot machine. It's designed to give you quick little hits. Designed that way. Of either dopamine or stress to pull you back in and keep you in. That's how they make their money. And it never ends.

43:28Financial Feminist:No. Your TV show eventually ends. Right. Social media never ends. Right. Especially when they went from the algorithm being chronological to now algorithm-based. Like, it never... You could scroll TikTok for weeks without stopping. It never ends. And I want to give one more tip. Yes. I don't know about you, but I feel like my phone has to always be a part of me, like some vestigial limb. Sure. And so I'm trying to practice leaving my phone just physically away from me. Yeah. Like creating some sort of a physical barrier, not having it be right next to me. Because I feel like I find myself just doing this like automatic, like grab my phone, flip it, grab my phone, flip it.

44:08Whether I'm standing in line at a coffee shop or whatever, or like on my way to the bathroom, like, do I need my phone to take with me to the bathroom? No. And so I'm trying to physically remove that tendency, that physical response of grabbing my phone and reaching for it too.

44:22Financial Feminist:I will often leave my phone plugged into the bathroom. And then if I'm doing a podcast or whatever for chores, I'll just have my AirPods in. Like the amount of times people call me or something happens and I'm like, hi, I'm sorry, give me a second. And I have to run back to my phone. But it works really well for like, I get to consume the content I want to consume, but I'm not on my phone while I'm doing it. Yeah. You control it. The phone does not control you. Right. Okay. I know you're loving this conversation with Michelle. I'm so grateful to know her and have her back on the show. But I also know that some of you, especially those of you who aspire to or already have a business that you want to build, some of this is maybe hitting a little too close to home.

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45:31Financial Feminist:So this finds out which of your skills are already worth building a business around. It matches what you do every day to business and entrepreneurship paths you probably haven't even considered. And you figure out what your first real offer looks like and the exact next steps to make it happen. Head on over to herfirsthundredk.com slash ffpod and download the guide for free. All right, back to the episode. Let's talk delegating because it is the one that we're talking about all of this being really difficult. I know that there's people listening going, yeah, I can't fucking delegate. So So let's rebrand delegation.

46:06Financial Feminist:Delegation's hot. Sure. Of course it is. You actually want to achieve your goals. You've got to delegate. I don't know if it'll be out by the time this episode comes out, but we did a millionaire mindset episode about like time and time being your currency, not money. And it's like, you have to delegate things. And that, you know, practically doesn't mean that a bunch of people can hire people to make their lives easier. But there are ways that you can think about delegation. So what is the first thing that you delegated that actually freed up space for you? The first thing we delegated was managing our social media inbox.

46:43And that's not to say that I'm still not hands-on in the content strategy and the brand. But it was not the best use of my time to be responding to every single DM. Oh, absolutely not. And liking every single comment and responding to them. It was pulling me away from being in the creation mode. And that was the best hire to have someone take that cognitive load off of my plate so that I can be more in the creation and growth mode. And I think it's also being really honest with what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses. And that's different for everyone. So my co-founder, for instance, she's really strong with numbers.

47:16I'm not. So in a way, bringing her on was a way for me to delegate off the finances because that was slowing me down. And I have no business being in a spreadsheet, candidly. Yeah. And it's not where I thrive and move the needle best. So it's being radically honest with yourself of what are my strengths? Where can I move the needle? Where am I most energized? And anything that isn't part of that, those are the gaps to start delegating out. Because ultimately, you want to enjoy the thing.

47:46Financial Feminist:So yeah, I would start there. I think the reason delegation doesn't happen is that although we know it's important, we all have control issues. Yes. Yes. And also there is ego involved where we think, well, nobody can do this. Like I can do it. And I will call people out. That is ego. Like that is actually very egotistical to be like, I am the only one with all the answers and only I can do this project. Now there are times where, of course, only I can sit on this podcast as me and host it. Right. Those are the questions you you have to ask yourself of what are truly the things that only I can do.

48:28Financial Feminist:Only I can speak on a stage. Only I, as me, right? Only I can host this podcast. Right. But there's a million other things that I can delegate that don't have to be done by me or that I am actually not the best person to do. Right. So what mindset shift helped you release the control without thinking the business would fall apart? I think Marie Forleo said this, that no one is going to be able to do 100 % your job, but if you get them at 80%, accept that. Oh, massive. Yeah. And I think that mindset shift helped me relinquish that control of accepting that no one is going to be able to do 100 % the exact same style and quality and care and level that I can.

49:11But if I can accept 80 % work and that'll open up my time to scale and grow, that's worth it. And that helped me accept that it's okay for everything not to be perfect. So long as it's 80%, it's good enough. Well, that'll allow me to grow and scale. And it's this shifting of the scarcity mindset that I was having of like, only I can do it. It won't be done unless I do it. And this is it. I was creating a bottleneck in my own business. And when I thought about, okay, if I can bring in someone, And if it's passable and good enough and I can always refine it later, but it'll allow me to scale and grow and move faster, that's worth it.

49:52Financial Feminist:Right. So I think it's just the acceptance piece has been a big shift. Yeah. And again, understanding that if you want to progress toward whatever goal you have, you have to rely on other people. Yeah. Like definitely in building a business, but also in, yeah, becoming healthy or growing your career or making more money. Yeah. It's like you have to rely on other people to help you. And that's our superpower as women. We're not afraid to ask for help and ask for directions. Right? We're community builders. We're natural connectors. And so I think it's reminding ourselves that, you know, we can go further and faster together.

50:30Yeah. Which I know sounds woo-woo, but it really does help you reframe that we don't have to be so individualistic about everything. Yeah. And that you can rely on your community. You can rely on different support systems to help you fill the gaps so that you can go further.

50:45Financial Feminist:Yeah. And vice versa. You've spoken about the pressure women feel to get it right the first time. In business and visibility and leadership. This is such a common thing. Yeah. And it's not just the pressure that we feel internally. Like society puts this pressure on ourselves. Yeah. You have to do it correctly or we will cancel you. We will defund your business, but we'll give a million trillion dollars to bullshit male founders on their fourth try. Yep. How has that pressure shown up for you personally? I was letting the pressure get to me in the early stages of the business because I felt like there was no margin of error for me as a woman, as a woman of color, as a first time founder.

51:34I already had all the odds stacked against me. And I knew there was people expecting me to fail. I knew there was people who didn't believe in me and were doubting me every second of the way. Still probably do.

51:44Financial Feminist:Well, we went to lunch a month ago. And I won't call anybody out, but like we had multiple, we had an hour-long conversation, you, me, and Nikki, about all of the people who can see this in Costco, who can see a nationwide launch in Whole Foods and still go, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not because of anything about the business. It's because of who the founders are. Yeah. Yeah. The gender of the founder. Yeah. And you see this with funding. Yes. Less than 2 % of women get funded. Less than 0.5%. Women of color. And not even a full percent for women of color to get funding. Yeah. So I literally had all the odds stacked against me.

52:25And I had some of my own investors not believe that I can pull off a fundraise. But how I got through that and how I try to push past that feeling is I remind myself that I have always figured it out.

52:42Financial Feminist:Yeah. And I think as women, we tend to feel that we have only one shot or if it's not perfect, it can't be done. And I try to come back to, well, I've made it this far. So obviously I'm doing something right. And kind of consistently reinforcing that we actually are a lot more capable than we think. And I love, you know, you and I have talked about this very viral audio of like, boys do it. Like boys, literally less qualified, less qualified, less experienced are doing a lot more. So I'm like, so why not us? And I love that reframe to give us permission. And And I think having conversations like this, seeing more women share their stories, seeing more women in business gives us the permission of like, okay, it's okay for us to not be perfect.

53:35Like if you followed our brand five years ago, we were a different brand name, different product lines. We were so messy. We were so ratchet. And we were just so cringe. And I laugh about it, but I also love it. I look back and I'm like, how sweet that we were able to evolve and we still kept going. And we're like the cockroach that just wouldn't die. Oh, yeah. And what a great story that hopefully other people can see that you don't have to be perfect right off the bat. And there's almost this relatability that I think people like to feel of like, okay, someone isn't perfect right off the get-go.

54:09And I think we... I've definitely surprised myself in how endearing it is to be imperfect and to not have things figured out right off the bat. And I think that humility can also allow people to feel more connected to you.

54:23Financial Feminist:Yeah. And for everybody listening, this is also where we as women cannot contribute to the pile-on that inevitably happens when women do make a mistake. Now, there are some mistakes, right? Mistakes are on a spectrum here, right? But I think that so many women, and especially female entrepreneurs, are not allowed any grace and are not given any space to publicly fail. Yet we're also expecting women to start companies and be role models and go out and do the thing. And like, yes, go girl boss. So you cannot have that hope and expectation for women that women are going to take risks and they're going to build things and they're going to take swings without also understanding that women will make mistakes.

55:12Financial Feminist:We're human. And it's just going to happen. I so appreciate you saying this because it's so scary. Even the concept of building in public. So scary. It's terrifying. As someone with 5 million followers, it's terrifying. It's terrifying. Right. And it's almost like you don't want the attention, which then reinforces wanting to play small and wanting to not take up space. That's what I mean is like the very things that we, as women say, we're sick and tired of, of like a society that makes us feel like we're playing small, like, no, play big. But then if you're going to get mad at somebody who's making a mistake and they've owned up to it and all that's happened, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

55:50No, it is our responsibility. If we want women to take up space to be the ones who are driving financial decisions that are changing our structures and systems so that all of us benefit, we need to go around any woman who has made a mistake, taken accountability, put her arm around her and be like, girl, I got you. We're going to get through this. And that needs to happen. It's not unfortunately right now. I think we can get better. And then it allows more space for more women to take opportunities in their hands and to put themselves out there and to build in public and to share their stories and to create products that benefit other women.

56:24But yeah, it's scary, right? To be visible.

56:28Financial Feminist:It's eating our own and it's not helpful. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I unfortunately expect it from some men. Right. It really pisses me off when it's from other women. Yeah. Because I'm like, you can't, again, you can't ask me to go out and put myself out there, knowing that I am human or you are human and like that's going to happen. And if you are on the other side, and I've been on this side too, where I get triggered by a woman showing up and taking up space. Oh, me too. I have to pause and ask myself, well, what is triggering? Why am I upset? And having that honest conversation is so helpful because then it shifts me away from like, okay, there's actually nothing wrong with her.

57:06Or like, I don't like her. Why don't you like her? And I think having that conversation, there's still girls that like trigger me or annoy me. And then I'm like, what is it about her that's annoying me? I'm like, she's living a life that I would kind of like for myself. Envy tells you a lot. Yeah. And I was like, okay, or maybe not. And it's just like, okay, like I find this about her. I'm like, okay, is it impacting me? Is it taking anything away from me? No. And I think just like getting really honest and unpacking and peeling back like these feelings of like, okay, she's showing me a life that I might want to have or parts of her life that I might want to have.

57:38I'm like, okay, then why don't I just focus on creating that for myself rather than even in my mind, tearing someone down. Even if I'm not publicly commenting something, I'm like, it's not serving me, right? It's taking me out of abundance, expansion, creation mode, and more into picking and judging.

57:55Financial Feminist:It's not serving you. It's serving the patriarchy. That's the only thing that's getting served. Division causes distraction. Yeah, absolutely. And what happens when we're distracted, then we're not calling things out. We're not holding people accountable. We're not advocating for ourselves. We're not actually moving any cause that we care about forward. No. Yep. My last question for you, Michelle. For the woman listening who feels like her ambition is costing her her peace, what's one small shift she could make this week to actually protect her energy without abandoning her goals? Put your phone away.

58:29I know that sounds very reductionist and simple, but if you think about it, our phones are distracting us. Our phones are making us reliant on them. They're pulling us away from our like... Humanness. Human, witchy wisdom within that, you know, ultimately knows that it's so... Like women are so intuitive. Like we're able to read rooms. We're able to anticipate things faster. We're able to pick up all these tiny cues. And that's such a superpower. And when we're distracted, when we are pulled into toxic news cycles, when we're pulled into technology or social media, then we lose that connection with that inner wisdom and that ability to create and that abundance energy and putting your phone away even for an hour, two hours.

59:13Just notice what that does to your nervous system. Notice how that allows your brain to think and create ideas. And that's what I would recommend. That's the fastest, easiest way to regulate.

59:24Financial Feminist:I love that. Michelle thank you for coming back on the show I will do this in the intro so everybody will know but I think if people didn't listen to your first episode which they should I am a very proud angel investor in you and Nikki and oh I'm gonna cry I am so honored and proud of the work that you both do and I say it to everybody I talk about these brownies too that you are the two hardest working women I know you guys are on planes every other week going out and live demoing in Costco. Like who fucking does that? Nobody does that. No. And I'm just, I'm thrilled you're back on the show.

1:00:02Financial Feminist:So plug away, my friend, please plug. Yes. So Olave is in Costco's in the Southeast, in the Northwest, in LA, Hawaii, SoCal, and we're in Whole Foods, SoCal, as well as Nevada, Arizona, and Hawaii. We're rapidly expanding in more locations in the spring, which I can't share just yet. We're also in HEB in Texas and Central Market and Thrive Market. If you want to support us, shop direct, please. Shop our website. We do a lot of discounts there too. But yeah, we have protein brownies, dessert cashew butters. Our whole mission is to allow you to indulge and get more protein and fiber in without any of the junk ingredients so you feel your absolute best while also indulging and satisfying your sweet tooth.

1:00:43So huge thank you to you, to the entire community for supporting us. It's so fun being back on here And yeah, I hope the audience was able to walk away with a couple nuggets to integrate into their lives. So helpful. Alavi.co? Yeah. Alavi.co. C-O-E-L-A-V-I.co.

1:01:01Financial Feminist:Thank you for being back. Thank you for having me. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, produced by Her First 100K. If you love the show and want to keep supporting feminist media, please subscribe or follow us on your preferred podcasting platform or on YouTube. Your support helps us continue to bring this content to you for free. If you're looking for resources, tools, and education, including all of the resources mentioned in this episode, head to herfirst100k.com slash sspod.

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