millionaire mindset: taking risks

0:00Tiffany Aliche:If you've been wanting more from your life, but getting stuck and terrified when it comes to building the confidence to actually get it, this episode is for you.

0:19Tiffany Aliche:Hi, financial feminists. Welcome to the show. I am so thrilled because today we're launching a brand new series on financial feminist called Millionaire Mindset. Now, why are we doing this? One, because y 'all seem to love a series. Every time we've done series of episodes on this show, they're some of your favorites. So we want to bring that back. The second thing is because there's so much information out there. There are a lot of podcasts to listen to. There's a lot of YouTube videos to watch. There's a lot of books to read. There's a lot of TikToks to scroll. And my number one pet peeve is when people tell you that they're going to change your lives and then they give you bullshit manifestation hacks.

1:06Tiffany Aliche:Nothing drives me more crazy than people promising the world and delivering no actionable information. Telling you that they're successful, that they are smart, and that they're rich, and that they're beautiful, but giving you no way to follow in their footsteps that isn't practical and actionable. So you know me, actionable advice is my favorite. And the reason, number three, while we're also doing this show, is that you all have so many questions for me that are sometimes related to personal finance, but sometimes not. And the reason we're calling this series Millionaire Mindset is because you don't have to be a millionaire to listen to the show, right?

1:53Tiffany Aliche:But there are certain traits, there are certain habits, there are certain things that you can cultivate in your life to show up as the best version of yourself, to show up as the best version of yourself in your career or in your business, to show up as the best version of yourself in your relationships, and to show up as the best version of yourself to yourself. And so this series is going to be all of the things that I have learned in my life to cultivate the life that I have now, but also the things that I'm constantly learning throughout growing this business, throughout building my relationships, throughout each season of my life.

2:32Tiffany Aliche:So we're thrilled to bring you this series. This has been a long time coming. And this is going to be one of those podcasts where, yeah, you can listen while you're driving your kids to school. Yeah, you can listen while you're doing chores, 100%. But if I've done my job correctly, these sorts of episodes are going to be the ones where you're going to be reaching for a notebook every two minutes. That's the goal here, is to give you very specific, actionable advice that can help you transform your life, transform your thinking, and so you can show up as your best self. So with that in mind, I would love for you, this would just absolutely thrill me.

3:16Tiffany Aliche:If you all did this, even if 10 % of you did this, this would be the coolest thing. I want you to start a journal or a notebook during this episode. And I want you to keep track of all of the things you're learning throughout this series. And I don't know how long this series is going to be. It's going to be at least 10 episodes. Who knows? It could be more than that. But I want you to take notes. I want you to apply everything I'm teaching you in your life and reflect. And hopefully, as you progress through this series, you can start to see specific, life-changing transformations in your relationships, in your career, in your life.

3:59Tiffany Aliche:I know that anybody listening to this show, you, dear listener right now, are committed to self-development. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. And this is a way to take that learning even deeper, both for yourself, and it would also just mean the world to me to know that these episodes are making an impact. I'm going to make this even easier for you so that this is an immediate yes. I want this to be easy. I want this to be like, yeah, Tori, I'm doing it. So if you go to herfirst100k.com slash mindset and you give us your email, we will send you worksheets and journal prompts for every single episode in this Millionaire Mindset series.

4:35Tiffany Aliche:In every episode of this series, you're going to get a nice little email from me and my team with a bunch of reflections, with worksheets, so that you can stay committed to this practice. and it feels like a ritual for you. So again, herfirst100k.com slash mindset. It's completely free. I would love to be able to deliver you those resources. But first, a word from our sponsors. I think in the year of our Lord, 2026, everybody needs a website. Maybe you're a business owner, maybe you're a freelancer, or maybe you're someone who just needs a place where all of their work can live, especially when you're applying for jobs or getting new clients.

5:10Tiffany Aliche:And Squarespace is going to make that really, really easy. You can offer your services on Squarespace. They offer as well cutting edge design tools with like drag and drop. So you don't have to know how to code at all. And you can buy domains on Squarespace, which is what we did. HerFirstHunderK.com is a Squarespace domain. We appreciate Squarespace's support of the show. They were one of our first ever ad partners, and we know you'll love them too. Head on over to Squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code FFpod to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain.

5:42This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride this summer, find more on Facebook.

6:12Tiffany Aliche:So when I asked you all, what should our premiere episode be? What should the first episode of Millionaire Mindset be about? You all said risk-taking. So when we think about risk-taking, I first want to acknowledge there's a reason it's called risk-taking. These are risks. Risks are inherently scary, even when people like me might make risk-taking look extremely easy. It's not. It's scary. It's deeply uncomfortable. And I have done some wild things in my life. I have quit jobs without other ones lined up. I have started businesses. I have traveled across the world, sometimes by myself. I have spoken in front of thousands of people, sometimes tens of thousands of people.

7:04Tiffany Aliche:I have packed up all my shit and lived out of a suitcase for a year. I still felt nervous every time, at least a little bit nervous. So to get you more comfortable taking risks, even when things feel scary, I have a four-part formula to get you comfortable taking risks. Okay. So this is the perfect thing to write down. Or again, you're going to herfirsthinderk.com slash mindset, and we're setting you up with that workbook. So part one, I'm going to give you the truth about risk. This is from big sister Tori. Okay. The truth is, is that there's no such thing as a risk-free dream. The very definition of a dream means that it's slightly outside of reality, right?

7:48Tiffany Aliche:It's slightly outside of what society expects of you. And as women especially, we live our entire lives very rarely doing what we actually want to do and doing instead what makes everybody else more comfortable. We put aside our own dreams and our own excitement and our own pleasure and our own joy in order to not rock the boat and in order to make everybody else around us feel more comfortable. And we're taught as women to value certainty because the world feels very uncertain. It is not a safe place to be a woman, right? The world is a very unsafe place for women and for other minority groups, right?

8:39Tiffany Aliche:So no wonder we are so interested in certainty. No wonder we are so interested in controlling our realities. And so taking a risk feels deeply, almost genetically unnatural because we've been conditioned to prioritize being safe, being liked, making everybody else more comfortable, and yes, being perfect. But that is not a life you should be interested in living. A life where everyone else is happy at the expense of your own happiness is not a life that you should be living. We hear this all of the time, but when you actually sit and think about this, I just want you to take a second. If you want to close your eyes, great.

9:32Tiffany Aliche:If you're driving, don't do that. Every time somebody tells me or I hear somebody say, you have one life, we hear that so often as human beings. You only have one life. You only live once. We hear that so often that it almost doesn't feel real anymore. But you have one life. You have one chance at this life. And you're going to live it for somebody else? You're going to live your life to please your mom? You're going to live your life to please your boss? You're going to live your life to please society at the expense of your own pleasure?

10:20Tiffany Aliche:that's criminal. You have one life. And inherently, every time you do something, even if it's small, that feels outside of what society expects for you, it feels like a risk. It feels like life or death. Because we are told and taught to play it safe. both for our literal physical and mental safety, right? But because it's easier to control us when we're taught to not rock the boat. I think about our brains a lot. The fact that when humans came to be or, you know, the cavemen before humans, there is something, again, in our brains that tells us to pick the safe option or else you might get eaten by a bear, right?

11:14Tiffany Aliche:Because back in caveman times, you had your caves and you had your berry bush that you knew wasn't poisonous. And if you ventured far out from those things, that was an actual risk to your life. That's still what's going on. That's still what's going on in your brain. Your brain doesn't know the difference between a bear about to maul you and asking somebody out on a date. Like, it feels like life or death because your brain interprets risk the same way. So no wonder it feels scary. No wonder it feels like a big deal. Because any time you step outside the lines, even in those small moments, there's something that triggers in us, especially as women that goes, oh, but what about our safety?

12:05Tiffany Aliche:So I have to tell you again, there is no such thing as a risk-free dream. And there's especially no such thing as a risk-free dream that feels like you might be pissing everybody else off, but honoring yourself. When we come back, I'm sharing my second part of the risk-taking formula. And thank you for supporting our sponsors. They allow us to do this show for free for you. Everybody needs a website in 2026. I think it's one of the most important tools in your arsenal, but you especially need one that is beautiful and functional and easy to find. Maybe you're a business owner, maybe you're a freelancer, and maybe you're someone who just needs a place where all of their work can live, especially when you're applying for jobs or getting new clients.

12:48Tiffany Aliche:We did our first ever website with Squarespace and it is still the platform that we recommend. The best part about Squarespace is you can do a bunch of stuff inside of it. So yeah, it's a website tool, but you can also send emails. You can sell content. You have your analytic tools all in one so you don't have to pay for a million different platforms. And when my partner needed a website to launch his business, this is where we turned. I literally helped him set up his Squarespace and we had his beautiful website all done in a weekend. Head on over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code FFpod to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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14:31Tiffany Aliche:Part two. I want you to think of risk like weightlifting. You are not going to start by deadlifting a thousand pounds. Okay? What happens if you deadlift a thousand pounds after you've never lifted a weight before? You can't do it. That's the best case scenario. The reality is you're probably going to get significantly injured, right? But we have to get comfortable with risk in the tiny moments. And you might have heard this advice before because it's common advice. But me to you, this is the single thing I did to catapult my entire life. This is the single thing I can point to that has made me a more confident person.

15:22Tiffany Aliche:I'm not kidding. That's not hyperbole. I'm not just like saying it for the mic. If I had to point to one thing that has been the absolute paramount to help me be a successful business owner, to help me be the confident person I am. It is this. These little moments of risk, and I'm, again, tiny, tiny, almost imperceptible. Those are the things that build your confidence, that build your comfortability and risk-taking. So let's go back to the ask a stranger out thing, If you've been following me for a while, you might know that I've done a couple videos about this. I have been with my partner now for a couple years.

16:11But back when I was single, this was a couple years ago, I just thought to myself,

16:17Tiffany Aliche:okay, I'm going on these apps and I'm trying to date and I'm trying to meet new people. and if I had done what society told me to do as a woman, I would have sat there and waited to be approached, right? This is what women are supposed to do, is you're supposed to sit there at a bar or at a restaurant and just hope that somebody comes up to you and starts talking to you. That didn't feel fun. That had no buy-in on my part and felt like I was just leaving what I wanted up to chance. If I wanted to go on a date with somebody, but I was expecting that someone was going to have to come up to me every single time, I was not taking charge of my own dating life, right?

17:16Tiffany Aliche:I was not taking charge of that. So I was like, okay, I'm going to start asking people out. Let me tell you what happened. I still remember the first time I did this. Okay. So I think it was at a coffee shop. It was the person who was taking my order. Okay. I was, I walked up, I did not intend, this was not like a coffee shop I had gone to multiple times to like gird my loins and get the nerve up. But I went to this coffee shop and I was like, oh, the person taking my order is cute. And then I was flooded with sweat. My armpits started sweating. My palms really sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

17:57Tiffany Aliche:But everything in my body was like, bear. The bear is going to attack me. Because my thought had been, then you should ask him out. And that was the bodily response. I immediately felt my heart was going crazy. It felt as if there was a bear in front of me that I was going to have to fight or flee from. Because again, my brain didn't know the difference. This felt like a risk. What if he says no? What if he laughs in my face? What if he doesn't hear me the first time and I'm going to have to speak louder. Like terrifying, right? And so in that moment, I had a choice. I could pick the safe option, which is I could grab my bagel, I could grab my smoothie, and I could say, thank you so much, and then walk out the door.

18:51Tiffany Aliche:That would have been the easier option. 100%. That would have been the easier option. but that wouldn't have been the fun option. That wouldn't have been the interesting option. And that wouldn't have helped me build the muscle of risk-taking. So I made a vow to myself in that moment because we're all afraid of rejection. We're all afraid that, you know, okay, if they say no, was my hair bad? Did I see something weird? oh they must hate me or they think I'm ugly right the the rejection thing comes in immediately so I made a promise to myself that I was going to ask this person out and I did not care about the outcome I'm going to repeat that I was going to do this scary thing I was going to ask this person out and I would not care what they said because that's not really why I was doing this.

19:51Tiffany Aliche:The outcome did not really matter. It truly didn't. If they said no, okay. If they said yes, cool. Actually, I just cherry on top. But I was doing it so that I got comfortable with uncomfortability. I was doing it to build my tolerance, start lifting the weight of risk, and I could build my confidence in that. So I went up and I said, I think you're really cute. Could I buy you coffee sometime? And he said, no. He said, oh, that's really sweet. I have a girlfriend. And I said, no worries. I hope you have a great day. it didn't go the way I planned but I didn't care because success to me was not a yes or no success was I did it and this is what I have to have you understand about risk I don't give a shit about the outcome and you shouldn't either we'll talk more about this in a second but you're putting too much weight in everything that could go wrong right again what if he thinks I'm ugly?

21:08Tiffany Aliche:What if he tells me no? What if he laughs in my face? Those are all outcome specific reasons to not do something. Instead, success is you did it. You tried. You went for it. The outcome doesn't matter.

21:28Tiffany Aliche:The goal isn't to be fearless. Fearless is not the absence of fear. Fearless is I felt the fear and did it anyway. So the way you get comfortable with these bigger risks, the quitting your job to launch your business, the getting divorced from a relationship that you know has no way forward, these things that feel massive, these risks that feel utterly terrifying is that you start building your own confidence, your own comfort with being uncomfortable, experiencing the fear, and then doing it anyway.

22:17Tiffany Aliche:So my challenge for you for this part two of risk-taking, pick one small risk and do it, and then journal about the experience. So maybe that's asking a stranger out. Maybe that's calling your phone or cable or internet company and trying to negotiate your bill. Maybe it's reaching out to someone you've wanted to get coffee with. And it can be romantic, but it'd also be a friend or somebody you want to mentor you. And my favorite, if you have never gone to dinner by yourself, go to dinner by yourself. Bring a book, go to dinner by yourself see what comes up you will be uncomfortable it's just going to happen bring your journal with you but we have to start taking these small risks in order to be more comfortable when life demands us to be really really brave the last thing i'll say in this part two of building our risk muscle is that When you're at the gym, lifting weights, weightlifting makes you feel weak when it's actually making you stronger.

23:33Tiffany Aliche:Going to therapy feels extremely vulnerable, but it's actually making your mental health better. Looking at your money feels terrifying, but it actually is building your savings and paying off your debt. the things that you are doing to grow yourself make you feel in the moment like you're not growing at all. They feel like you're regressing actually, right? I'm going to the gym and I'm lifting this weight and I'm struggling, right? I'm sweating and I feel weak in that moment. But those are actually the things that are making you stronger. Part three to getting more comfortable taking risks. This quote, I heard this at the beginning of my 20s, single-handedly changed my life.

24:25Tiffany Aliche:Okay? So if you've been tuning me out, I need you to come back. Perfectionism is fear in stilettos. This is from one of my mentors, Liz Gilbert. we have met very briefly. I don't think she knows I exist. No, I actually do know she knows I exist, which is incredible. But we don't personally know each other. But she has mentored me through countless moments in my life, and she has no idea. And this, oh, this quote changed everything for me. I know you, dear listener. I know you. You are most likely type A, eldest daughter energy. You have worn perfectionist as a badge of honor for your entire life.

25:22Tiffany Aliche:You actually pride yourself on being a perfectionist. You think that's a good thing. and I hate to break it to you. It's the reason why you can't take risks. It is single-handedly the reason that risk-taking has felt so scary and unapproachable because you value being perfect over progressing as a human being. so what happens is when we value perfectionism our brain immediately gets in the way of trying anything what if i fail says my brain what if you look stupid says my brain what if everybody laughs at you right what if the guy laughs in your face when you ask him out what if you're not good enough What if you're not as good as you think you are?

26:32Tiffany Aliche:This is the perfectionist part of your brain demanding perfection. That's what it does. And again, back to the fear, right? And what I love about Liz Gilbert is she says, perfectionism is fear in stilettos, meaning, again, that fear has been upgraded, right? The fear we all feel that prevents us from bettering our lives has stilettos and lip gloss. And now we think it's a good thing because we call it perfectionism. I am no different than you. I have no different skills than you do. I'm not special in any way. I'm not. I have some privilege. We all have some privilege. I have worked really, really hard, and I care a lot about what I do.

27:28But you're the same.

27:32Tiffany Aliche:I have nothing that you don't have. And that's not me being self-disparaging. It's true. I have nothing that you don't have. But the only thing, only thing that separates someone like me from someone who is not going for it is that I do not aim for perfection. I got rid of my perfectionist mindset in my 20s. and I did all the right things, right? I worked really hard in school and if I did not get an A, I cried. If I did not get straight A's, I did not feel like I did enough. Then I got to college. Well, getting into college, right? I wanted to get into a good college. I wanted to get a bunch of money and scholarships.

28:25Tiffany Aliche:And then I got into college and I'm like, is this going to be my entire life? I had that conversation with myself when I realized that I was just chasing the next thing. I was just trying to be perfect over actually living my life. And I thought, is this what we're going to do for the next, hopefully, 60, 80 years? Is this what we're going to do? That's not an interesting life. And frankly, again, it's always the safe choice because I valued perfection over an interesting life. I valued perfection over building the muscle of risk-taking. So the thing I cultivated that you right now don't have is that I truly believe that done is better than perfect.

29:16Tiffany Aliche:That's the only thing I have that you don't. That is the only thing that is separating you from the person that you dream to be. That is the only thing. You have all the other credentials. You got all the other shit. But you are still wearing your perfectionist badge front and center on your chest. And that is single-handedly holding you back. We value progress over perfection in this house because perfectionism is unattainable. and I know you know that I know you know that perfectionism is unobtainable you would say that to your best friend when your best friend's beating themselves up you go yeah but I don't expect you to be perfect and then weirdly you expect that of yourself right like you expect perfection of yourself let that shit go you think it's the thing that makes you successful it's actually your Achilles heel.