Chris Rock LIVE in LA

31:31There's a theme. I love this theme. Yeah. Go Wikipedia. Ask Jack TVT. You got to be canceled for me to be friends with you. Why do celebrities who drink not get a driver? Or an Uber. Or anything. Or a Waymo. Why is Tiger Woods still? See you later. I'm taking the Oldsmobile. I mean, take the keys away. I think too many. I knew Tiger was in trouble. he was that you know had the whole cheating and whatever and his wife beat up the thing then he had a press conference with all his friends and he apologized now right Tiger's black and Asian and he has a press conference with his friends and none of them are black or Asian what are they I was like okay sometimes if you're that famous you gotta have a Mario Joyner in there somewhere you gotta Somebody No but Steve Harvey I don't know Somebody Somebody Come on It's like Not one But if he's doing Some things That he If he's that level of fame I think He just doesn't want A witness You know what I mean You don't want someone Knowing what you're doing Hearing you talk on the phone And just quietly Taking an info Doesn't work Because he has the money to hire a new driver twice a day.

33:03Is that the fix? You drive in the morning, now you're out. Well, I guess you should have a full-time driver. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, yeah. You can't have a full-time driver. And you're not paying them to drive. You're paying them to shut the fuck up. Exactly. Exactly. Everybody can drive. I can't find anyone who'll shut the fuck up. But only the good ones can shut the fuck up. Yeah. Right. And if they're deaf and mute, it's better. How you doing, Mr. Rock? Ooh, you got three prostitutes. I ain't seeing nothing. Yeah. I love fake driving. It's like 1941 without power steering. All right, Tiger, we're going to the cause now.

33:47That's what you're paying for. Silence. That was a good topic. That was a good topic. Hey, it's your podcast You've been busy I can't believe it I got exhausted I'm just here, man Why were you at the Met Gala? I was looking for you Um, I don't know You didn't have anything stupid enough to wear I went last year I didn't go to show Who wore it best? Who wore it best? I went last year I didn't go to show I've been a couple of times Do you wear something weird Or just a tux? Um, just a tux Just a tux I've been a couple of times I still don't know what it's for Is there anything after those stairs?

34:27because once they get to that, I would just go home. Yeah, it's nothing. I got invited last year, and the year before that, I was trying to save a relationship. Oh. Oh, really? Interesting. Hey, maybe if I take her to the Met Ball. Nope. Yeah. Maybe I'm going to take you around more famous people. That's the tough one. Yeah, yeah. What goes on? I mean, we only see the red carpet, right? Right. And then what goes on after that? You eat shrimp. You eat shrimp. You can't eat shrimp. A lot of rich people. A lot of rich, techie, white people. They're like, ooh, this is Bob Zaminga, and his family owns the button.

35:22They invented the button? This is like all the buttons on the world. You ever heard about buttons? They own all the buttons on earth. Yeah. If you're nice to him, he'll let you on his boat. Yeah. You got to have a boat. He gets a piece of every button. Kelly Blue Blay and her family owns green. Just a color green. Yeah. Jeff Bezos has a$500 million, what, a million dollar boat. it's like a thousand foot long it's got a sail, it's got another boat behind it he's selling it because quote it draws too much attention God bless maybe it's the five I do like his wife though Lauren Sanchez, you gotta root for that I've known Lauren a little while have you been on that one?

36:14I have not been on that boat have you been on George Lucas's? have you been on Geffen's boat? I've been on some boats I like I got no problem with a boat invitation Yes You'd rather float than sink Hey I tell some jokes And I, you know Get on boats And I get on some boats You get on boats What You don't have to say the name of the owner But what's the best boat you've been on That you were in Holy shit They're all nice They're all They're all nice And it's You know To be black And to get on a boat leisurely Is a Is a Okay It's a great thing It's like Okay It's like ooh I'm up top You know Chris I don't know if you're working On your stand up But you've got You've got at least Four bangers in here That you can extend It's working And this is being recorded I'm up top But that is a great line I'm like ooh You go to Met Galas You go to the Oscars You go on boats You're living I just know My kids are grown I go out Yeah I know you Get out the house You would get a tuna sandwich And you're just in a sketch And now, good lord Look at us I found it kind of interesting That you did SNL and then you did In Living Color And then you were sort of I think you did a movie or something You're just sort of in it like this And then you did Bring the Pain And I remember watching it And went, oh, something's happened Like something new happened With that special Because I think you said you weren't serious At least that's the quote I have You weren't serious I left SNL.

37:53I went to Living Color.

37:58How was it Living Color? Was it their last season or close to the end? It was their last season. Of course, as soon as I get there, the Waynes quit. They were a big part of that. That's just the luck of me. You know what I mean? But what a bummer. The Waynes quit the show. They are the show. Yeah. Well, you had Jim Carrey, right? Yeah. You've got Jim Carrey. You've got a show. That's me. So I get there because I felt, I don't know, I just felt a cultural shift. But then that show gets canceled. And so I got no job. I got no job, no TV job, you know, that good TV money. What happened was I bought a house in Brooklyn.

38:42And I bought a carriage house that I would later lose a divorce. But anyway, I bought a carriage house. Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house and a divorce at some point. At some point. And I don't know. I just had a big-ass mortgage, and I had to do more shows. Okay. And when I did more shows, I got fucking better. And at some point, my brother, I'm not going to say the comedian, because that would be disrespectful, but me and my brother went to see a comedian at Radio City. Right. and like normal people. Like we made some calls and we got some tickets. And... I'm a comedian, right? And a car.

39:27I can count on one hand the amount of times I've sat in an audience for a comedy show, right? Right. And I left the show. I thought it was great. I thought the show was great. The show was great. But my brother, my brother Andre, goes, you're better than that guy. Get the fuck out of here. and it hadn't occurred to me. It's like when the, sometimes the kid that's getting bullied gets bigger than the bully. Yeah, yeah. And doesn't realize it yet. Right. So right around that time, it took my brother telling me that I was better to actually snap me out of this thing. And this was kind of a national headliner.

40:07This was... And then, like, yeah, then, you know, it's like one of those Rocky montages where I'm just knocking motherfuckers out. Like, I'm just like, I was just, I had gotten a lot better just from trying to pay for this house. Yeah. I got really good. That's great. So get a big mortgage. Yeah. Everyone's like, we got that part down. And then go to a comedy club. Yeah. And, you know. Yeah, but I was out of show business. I mean, put it this way, too. I had given up. I'd been in a few movies. I'd been on Siren Live. I'd been on Living Color. I kind of thought I was done as far as, like, being a famous person.

40:44Right. Right. Right? So my concern, not even a concern, I was like, okay, I love stand-up. And all I wanted out of stand-up, and this is like, this guy's a big star, but all I wanted out of stand-up was to be George Wallace. Okay. Like, George Wallace, to me, was like... A great stand-up. A great stand-up. Always works. This guy crushes every night. Never want to follow George Wallace. He would come into the club. The only other black guy, by the way. And he had great suits on. Yeah. And he had a fucking Cadillac. And he was opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot. And he was the only guy I knew that was so organized.

41:30He had like a real schedule. Like he didn't work in the summer. Like he would actually vacation and he had houses here and there. And I was like, man, if I could just be like George Wallace. than my dream. That's what I wanted. He took it seriously. He was good. But that guy was like a Jedi. He wasn't thinking about being on TV or a sitcom or a movie. He was killing. That guy was a focused comedian. It was like, okay, that's what I want to be. I want to be a focused, great comedian that other comedians respect as soon as I walk in the room. Well, that's what I wanted to ask you because Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld, these are they get with the tape or they get their notes.

42:13I mean, Jerry gets nervous. He needs that one hour a day with his notes. Were you like that or was it just the reps on stage? Or did you record it and listen? Because that's very painful to do for a comedian. I would record it. I would listen the next day. Okay. I mean, also it was one of those, you know, I'll give this, me and my ex-wife go back and forth. I, you know, I was like, yes, I had been on Saturday Night Live. I'd been in New Jack City. I was, you know, a mini millionaire at the time. But when I met her, I grew as a person. You know what I mean? Because I'd never really had a relationship, a grown-up relationship.

42:53So as I was growing up as a person, I was growing up as a comic, you know? So I just saw the world in a bigger, wider way. and the better I, you know, and it, I, I lucked up, you know what I mean? I, I lucked up in the sense that, you know, wow, fuck, I've been around a long time. So I'm, you know, I guess there's shandling, but I'm one of the first cable stars, you know what I mean? Like, right. You know what I mean? Like it was, it was a, when I broke, it was not from television at all. It wasn't from normal TV at all. It was from cable TV. So I was like this HBO thing. HBO is Bring the Pain.

43:41And it got a lot of awards and recognition. It was a big thing. Critics loved it. And for some reason, you know, it's just a joke. Stixson, you had something about peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. I don't know why. I never forgot that. I don't know why. What is that joke? We were so poor. My mother used to buy the peanut butter and the jelly in the same jar. That's like buying a shoe with a sock sold inside. Call it a shock. Call it a shock. When did you do Ninja with Farley? I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley. That was like me being. Was that when you were, that was before Bring the Pain?

44:26That was, that was after Living Color. That was me broke as fuck Well you take it for the money right I'll just go do it Oh wait a minute this guy I used to share an office with Gets 10 million dollars a picture or so He was like what the fuck What the fuck happened here That was after Tommy Boy We did that I had a lot of fun doing it Here's the funny thing about that movie I was horrible in that movie Well, initially, right? So I was cut out of the whole movie. Like, you were cut out of the Michael Jackson. Yeah. I'm cut out of the whole movie. Bring the Pain comes on HBO. And suddenly they put me back in the whole movie.

45:17They cut you back in? Wow. Suddenly everything I did, me at craft services eating a Snickers. It's in the credits. It's in the movie. It's like everything's in the movie now Great yeah, I didn't like free editors. Yes. Yes reaction on Chris. He's not in the scene. I said yeah Yeah, that that was big. Yeah, that was a seismic. Now what was your next move after you got big from bring the pain? I mean, what was your next um? It's weird. I did another special. I did. I mean I did here's the weird thing. I'm just like I'm getting I can I'm hanging with Madonna and

45:59So I'm with Madonna, right? And whatever. You're hanging with her. I'm hanging. Okay. And she pulls out. She's getting ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm literally right next to her. She calls her manager or somebody, and she cancels the special in Cuba. Really last moment thing, right? So I know how much money she's getting. And I offer, I call up Chris Albrecht at HBO, go, I'll do a special right now. But I got to get the same money. And? And I got it. Fuck! Wow. So? So whatever it was, you could imagine. But before that, I probably got 20 grand for Bring the Pain. Like, no comedian made any money.

47:03Sure, no. Just the privilege to do it. Like, take Madonna's money. Give me that money. But did you shoot it in Cuba? No, no, no. We shot Bigger and Blacker at the Apollo. Okay, that's right. Yeah. So I did that. So those two specials are kind of like a year apart or a year and a half apart. But you were ready or you didn't know? I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got it together. And, I mean, you know, it's that time in your life. You know, there's a time in your life when you're just a vessel. And the shit's coming through you like that, you know. So I was at that vessel point. And it's just coming through me.

47:51And most people think bigger and black is better than the pain. that's like even when when they were albums or DVDs Bigger and Black always sold more oh really yeah it's the bigger special um well it's good they're even close I mean usually a lot of people have one killer and then the rest you know cause right now people do a lot of specials in a row and some get watered down so then I started doing movies and you know Mel Gibson called hello Melly Mel He was nice It's crazy when you see what happens To people He was the nicest guy To everybody Even the Jews He was just nice Yeah Couldn't have been nicer I think I mean I just I think he's brilliant Have you ever seen Apocalypto?

48:50Apocalypto's one of the best movies ever made. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean, and as an actor, so. Yeah. I believe in second chances. Yeah. No, I got, hey. David, I gave him a second chance. Hey. Hey, if they want to do another lethal weapon, I'll take that check. Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check? Madagascar. Oh, yeah. Oh, it is? That, I turned down Madagascar. Whoa! Well, I was, I don't know. What the hell What was going on with you? I had a bad day. You couldn't think of a lemur voice? Are you allergic to money? Kind of. Dana hates money. No, they wanted me to do a South African accent, and I was, like, really working on it.

49:35I think Sacha Cohen Baron did it. Ah. But now, you do the first movie. It's not that. Because I did Secret Life of Pets. The first movie there was... Thank you. Hold your applause. And then the first movie, you didn't get much from Madagascar. No, no, no, no. No, because DreamWorks was a new company. Okay. So, you know, I've been lucky a few times. So, if you get someplace early, they overpay. DreamWorks pays better than some of the other. DreamWorks, hey, man, for the Shrek guys. Yeah. It's like, you know, those guys, they made so much money, none of them ever worked again. They all went like 20 years without working.

50:17They made so much money. And now they have two more they just did. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, yeah. Yeah, Shrek is been very good. I love Eddie. This is how crazy Eddie can be. Eddie has the studio in his house, like the recording studio in his house. So all he has to do is go downstairs to do Donkey. To do Donkey. And... All right, you do Eddie and I'll do my... And he would make them wait for months at a time. and at least twice they negotiated deals with me to play donkey and then eddie just went downstairs

51:00i'm out of 30 million dollars

51:06just because eddie went downstairs The highs and the lows. 30! I'm on my way to the studio. Yeah, I'm donkey. Oh, Eddie went downstairs. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! God damn it! Eddie went downstairs! He's in his pajamas doing donkey right now. Yeah.

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53:52Good Lord, Poodie Tang. Poodie Tang. Poodie Tang! It's a title that you can never forget. of a movie. Hey, man. Everybody thinks they're famous. And, you know, there was a point I was so famous I got a movie called Poodie Tang Man where the lead character doesn't speak English. You got that push through. Sign your pity on the runicard. Sign your pity on the runicard. Sign your pity on the runicard. Created by Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Written by Louis C.K. and a little bit myself. I got some jokes in there. But, yeah. What about I'm Gonna Eat You Sucker? Where's the one where you said, give me some ribs?

54:37What was the one where you said, give me some ribs? Oh, that's I'm Gonna Get You Sucker. Oh, yeah, yeah. Directed by Kenan Ivory Wayans. Okay. That's right. Okay. Now, here's a weird story about I'm Gonna Get You Sucker. I hope I'm not speaking out of tune. Most of that movie is thought up by Eddie Murphy. Like really yeah, and from what I hear Eddie was gonna do it and then he decided not to do it and Keenan's like hey picked it off his thing Hey, you thinking about doing this? I mean he still made it into Keenan's version of it But the initial thing was Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he told me he told me he came up with the fish in the in the shoe and all that stuff but uh-huh I Played the rib man, and I'm gonna get you sucker and and it was based on like some real shit like give me one rib yeah it's hysterical and the golden globe goes to I'm going to get you sucker yeah Chris is one line he comes in and then you go give me a rib and you're you don't have enough money and then you go how much for this and then you pull out a wad of hundreds at the end it's one for a scene to stand out how much for a soda yeah fuck the cup Put it in my hand.

55:57Ah, yeah. See?

56:03My daughters here are like, huh? It's good when it works. What? Your kids know any of your shit? My kids don't know any of your shit. Not really. My kids don't know nothing I've done and could care less. Yeah. In a healthy way. In a healthy way. Yeah. What about the one you just, the last one you just did? I just directed Misty Green. It's going to come out. it's going to come out in November it's at 824, it's kind of a drama honestly it's about a woman whose sugar daddy dies and she's got a week to get her shit together or she might have to fuck a guy in Dubai a tale as old as time it's kind of like the feel good picture the feel good story for Christmas the whole family Yeah, did it start out more?

56:55Yeah, so that's, yeah, that, what am I trying to say? The best way to describe it would be a female uncut gems, okay? Okay. So it stars a woman named Rosalind Elazar. She's on a show called Slow Horses. Oh, I love that show. Anna Kendrick's her best friend. Daniel Kaluuya is her brother. Adam Driver's in it. Oh, you got it. and myself and a few other people Anthony Anderson Topher Topher Grace yeah so we got have you done I mean it's uh yeah did it start off A24 nice little art movie how do you how do you wrote and directed it good job people like that like Adam Driver you know they're sort of brilliant at their craft I mean it's just very subtle I mean it's it's kind of like comedians I mean you gotta rehearse and you know figure out their moves and stuff i mean but he was great he was like you when you get an actor that good every take you're like whoa yeah you know it's probably like you think they'll be difficult when they're not then it's easy because then you have a back and forth but some if they resist and it's a lot i've been on movies where people really resist you go oh my god this is just gonna make it so hard yeah well it was it was a it was prime there's some comedy in it but it's definitely leans dramatic so yeah If it's funny, I got a ton of notes.

58:23But if it's not, you know, I'm going to trust Adam Driver. Yeah. Yeah, I would trust Adam Driver. And do a lot of the great actors you've worked with sometimes, like after a take, that you think's brilliant. Like, really? Was it good? Do you think it was good? Yeah, yeah. It seems like some of them are self-critical. Like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really? You think so? Wait, what movie was that one? Remember? I did a movie called Bad Company. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that a Brockheimer movie? Oh really, Tony? Tony Hopkins. I did a movie with Tony. Which one did you do? Road to Wellville. Hey! Do you know what he would do?

58:57And I don't know if he did this with you, but he had a Polaroid shot of his character. His character had funny teeth. It was all about the wellness industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd be talking to him, and then they'd go speed rolling. He would look at the picture, crush it on his face, and then breathe in like... And then put it in his pocket. and then he'd just be the character. Did you see any of that?

59:26I saw none of that. I swear, I didn't mention it. I do remember like older actors, they wanna rehearse, and do not give them new pages on the day. And I remember the director giving them new pages and him like, get the fuck away from me. Give me new fucking pages. Yeah. Just for that, today you get four takes. Yeah. Did you ever work with someone who just couldn't get their lines? I mean, Burt Lancaster, I was in a movie with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet guy, but he'd be like, okay, I guess we're going to rob the train. And then everyone's just still and quiet. Line. And then the woman, because we got to do it today.

1:00:11Because we got to do it today. Line. And she would go on and on. Tracy Morgan's like that. Like, literally, like, one of the funniest people ever. Oh, yeah, sure. It's not that he can't do his, he doesn't know his lines. He can't do it the same way twice. Right. It has to be different. Yeah. By the way, a couple of, back to Michael Jackson. Yeah. Just fucking crazy name drop fest. So, Matt Eddy's house, me, there's a bunch of people, but I'll just say the name-droppy name. So it's me, Eddie, Chappelle, and Tracy. A couple people, Raphael Sadiq, Simone. Lots of cool people there. And to watch the Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan kind of narrating.

1:01:04Oh, yeah. The new movie. I'm going to get me some penny loafers.

1:01:13That sounds fun. Who do you think hit harder, Joe or Joe Frazier?

1:01:23That's great. It's like the whole movie wouldn't stop. That's hysterical. I got a name drop story about this kind of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the scene and he's just coming out there and the cameras are rolling and he's like, okay, what is it? And the script cypher just goes, all right, so let's get out of here. All right, let's get out of here. So he likes to hear it right before he says it. Really? And that's kind of like Brando would hide things in the ceiling and stuff. Anyway, inside baseball. Would Brando have an earpiece? Clint Eastwood is not Tracy Morgan.

1:01:59It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of a story, visually and orally. I agree. All right, you got something else? A little more for Chris Rock before we get him on here. Chris Rock. Uh-oh. All right, let's just hear hot takes on society. Me? I have no takes. AI, will it rule us? Will it take over? Be a good thing or a bad thing? You have five seconds. Hey, I personally know people that have actually lost jobs to AI. They're in the tech sector. So, hey, man. I don't know. For the arts, put it this way. To me, AI, just in my business, it's a drum machine. Okay? It's basically a drum machine. You give Dr.

1:02:45Dre a drum machine, it's fucking magic. You give me a drum machine, it's a waste of time. So I don't think it'll make shitty writers good because the good writers will have it too. You know what I mean? So the distance is still going to be the same between the talent because everybody's going to have it. But it's obviously a little scary. I've definitely seen you know there's definite parts of the business that are going to be gone well I was going to ask you about LA too and the recession in the film and TV business in Los Angeles I did my movie the whole movie we shot in LA good job yeah how much more expensive I mean that was more expensive right it probably was more expensive but you know that's a good thing not my money actually some of it was but I think I'm getting it back when does this movie come out?

1:03:54I put up some dough this movie comes out in November when the good shit comes out I don't like the people that have AI and they have Chad GPT and there's always one guy going hey can you start World War 3 It's like, why? Let's not mess with it. Because if they've read every book in the world, you're like, they can probably start some shit. So it shouldn't be in everyone's hands on their phone, which I think it is now. I haven't done it yet. We are living in the singularity. I mean, this is the printing press. This is fire. This is the atom splitting. Hey, I'm not even here, really. No. We'd like to thank Chris's digital copy for being here.

1:04:34And now on the count of three, the hologram will disappear. This is what I was just curious about. You hanging out. Like, what do you consume live streaming shows? Do you get into shows with your girlfriend or friends? Or what's a day off for you? Do you go to movie theaters by yourself? Or what do you do? Hey, I love my Apple TV. All right. So you're watching Neighbors with Jon Hamm? I travel. I, you know, just some fucking spoiled rich shit. I have the Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room I'm in. So I can watch my shows. What are your shows? Slow Horses. Slow Horses. I'm waiting for, I'm watching Euphoria right now.

1:05:19I'm watching Euphoria too, yeah. Don't spoil it. I haven't seen the last one, but. I'm only as far as everybody else. I like that it's every Sunday. I like that you can't jump ahead. It's like, I didn't see it this week. What? She's a nun? No. She has huge boobs again Has anyone watched The Pit? HBO Max I don't really see hospital shows But this one is kind of extra extra I want The Pit But it's just Brad Pitt telling girls They can't spend the night

1:06:00I want to watch that show Whenever Brad Pitt is on TV and my wife is over there and I just go, I don't get it. I mean, really, there's not much going on with him. I mean, is that considered handsome? You know, I don't see it. I remember being at a party. You ever been in a room with fucking Pitt, man? So you're in a party, right? And Obama. You meet a woman. The woman talks to you like this, right? When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every woman takes a step and a half back from whatever guy she's talking to. Like, every woman's like kind of aware with like, it's like when a pit bull gets loose in the neighborhood.

1:06:48Like, every woman knows exactly where the fuck Pitt is in the room. And if I have a chance, I'm not going to fuck it up tonight. over Chris Rock. They get a little bit away. And then he gets a woman, or he leaves the party, and then the girl starts talking to you normal again. Hey, how are you? Is this kind of a tell? That's happened at least twice today. Is this also a tell when Brad Pitt comes in, a woman might just kind of just do this? You know? Just a subtle... Just clean it up a little bit, yeah. Just kind of clean it up a little bit? Yeah. You ever seen that? I've seen it. Yeah, they kind of let you know, like, hey, if he even looks this way yeah I'm gonna kick you down a flight of stairs yeah immediately in a wood chipper I'm a huge fan he's a great guy he's a great guy and a great actor Chris you remember when oh Marcy's here but Marcy would bring Carolyn Vissette her on The Office at SNL and Carolyn Vissette was so stunning and we all kind of had a crush on her and then we got the news she's dating JFK Jr.

1:07:55we're all like oh that's her type Oh. The kind of guy every person in the world loves. I thought she'd be a little more interesting.

1:08:07I thought she'd like squirrely broke writers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. I went out with her roommate for a minute. You what? You went out with her? Oh, really? Hmm. Yeah. Anyway. Plot thickening. Plot thickening. Don't skim try that one. That's as far as it got. Yeah. I'm going to just try to mention a celebrity and see if you've had a six degree. No, I'm not that guy. I'm not. No, it's just because you go. But I don't do that in my act. Well, people like you. I mean, and they want to hang out with you. That's all. I like you. I mean, we're hanging out with you right now. We're hanging out.

1:08:45This is fun. This is the most fun you've had today, right? This is kind of the most fun I'm going to, well, maybe later. Who's over there? Yeah Alright well Dan any last questions For our good friend Give me just quick What do you want? Adam Sandler what is with that guy? I call him Adam Sandler Claws I love that guy It's weird I realize Adam Sandler Might be my oldest friend Excuse me? That's right because it was pre Well Cause we know No I knew him before I got on SNL We were doing Club of Hire The whole thing you did At the Kennedy Center When they were vetting Adam Oh yeah you knew him before Yeah I knew I knew Adam like A year and a half Two years in the stand up So I've known Adam Like 40 years Or something That part of the story That you told about Adam Was really touched me It was so sweet Well Just at the club And then the It's like okay I'll tell the story again So at any comedy club you start stacking chairs that first is the privilege is to just be allowed in the club and then okay we're going to let you clean off tables and then okay we're going to give you late night spots during the week so you can go on at one o 'clock in the morning on a Wednesday right and then you get week spots spots during the week and then the greatest thing you can do after a couple of years of working is they let you work the weekends.

1:10:23Right? So, and that is like, you're a top comic, right? Right. And so I'm at the club. Pre-SNL. Pre-SNL. Yeah. I meet Eddie Murphy at the club. I meet Eddie Murphy at the club one night as I was stacking chairs, okay? I was stacking chairs. Eddie had watched like four guys and he goes to this guy, Lucian Holt. Hey, you got any black comics? And Lucian Holt's like, we got one right here. The guy hadn't spoke to me in six months. Eddie has that effect. And they put me on stage in front of Eddie. Eddie laughs. Eddie proceeds to tell me my whole life. Oh, wow. So Eddie tells me, you're going to be in movies.

1:11:11You're going to do SNL. You're going to do this. Like everything that's happened to me, you're going to direct, you're going to do this. From seeing one set? From seeing like eight minutes. Here and there. Like literally. Eight minutes. Crazy. Literally predicts my whole future. Yeah. Okay, you're going to get married, you're going to get divorced. Like everything. Married, divorced. Did he say you were going to meet me? Yeah. You told me I was going to do this podcast. The church lady. So, and, you know, and this is like the real Eddie Murphy. This is like, this is not Dr. Doolittle. This is like.

1:11:43This is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Red leather. Yeah, he probably had on some green leather. And it's like Elvis Eddie, and he's got 20 guys with him. And he's like, we're going to L.A. tomorrow. You should come. I go to L.A. with Eddie. Holy shit. And I end up in Beverly Hills Cop 2. That's right. A movie that I saw four times the day it came out. I saw Beverly Hills Cop 1, me and Fred Barton, who's not alive anymore, saw it four times. Anyway, so I'm in L.A. doing that. I come back because I have to come back. You know, I only made$600 doing Beverly Hills Cop, right? And who do I see? Who the fuck's this white kid on stage on Saturday night?

1:12:35Zabadoo. What the fuck is going on here? Right. It took me two, three years to get on it Saturday night. He just came out of nowhere. Where the fuck is this guy? Yeah. Sandler. Yeah. And like everything in my body said to hate this guy. Because not only is he on Saturday night and obviously didn't earn it. They told me he's on the Cosby show. It's like, motherfucker, how come I'm not on the Cosby show? I'm a black guy. Who is this white boy on the fucking Cosby show going on on Saturday night? And I watched him And I was so prepared to like Fuck this guy And I watched him And he did this joke About Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100 points In a game It was like His impression of the other players on the team Hey Wilt, I'm open But he also had a line where they're in a huddle Wilt's already scored 98 And the coach says okay, who's got willed?

1:13:42That was another one. He had another one about his grandmother rubbing Bix-Bapen rub on his chest, and he looks his grandmother in her eyes and goes, we're just friends, right?

1:13:55So, I'm watching him do this, and all the hate just left my body. I was like, this guy's the best. This guy's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. And we just became friends that night. Yeah. Wasn't there a moment where he was with sort of a gang and then he saw you and sort of said, you know, he invited you into this. Well, he was with all those guys he writes with now were there. So like Jack Gariputo and Hurley, all those guys, you know, they were he was he was going to NYU at the time. Yeah, he was going to NYU. We had such insanely different backgrounds. okay so he's he's literally going to nyu i'm at his dorm and all the shit i'm living in bed stuy it is the height of the crack epidemic okay not this hipster bed stuy you hear about now like right this is grandmother's blowing people fucking crack head right so the home values were it was It was insane, dude.

1:15:02Crack was an insane time. Because crack and the VCR came out at the same time. So guys, people would do, it was like the fucking opium wars or some shit. And guys would show you tapes of somebody's motherfucking three guys. It was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway. The good old days. I remember me and Sandler auditioned for SNL on the same night. I was doing a movie called Hanging Out with the Homeboys. And the director, we were in rehearsals, and the auditions were in Chicago. And so I needed a day off to go audition, and the director was like, if you leave, you're fired. I left they fired me and I went to I went to audition for SNL and me and Sandler auditioned the night the same night I did good I don't think it was great but it was good and Sandler did good and we both we watched Dana Gould destroy and Dana Gould did so well I left it's like why am I even And here, this guy is like the king of this shit.

1:16:26Yeah, great stand-up. And me and Adam got the job. Yeah, yeah. You came in. Me, Adam, and Farley. Yeah. Farley auditioned because we auditioned at the Improv, and he was around the corner at Second City. Second City, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we all got. Could I ask you a question of something that stood for 30 years? You know, this thing, you and Farley. Right. because I think I made a joke when you guys, the first day you were hired, I think I was on Letterman and I did a thing of, I always have some new guys and I was sort of kidding, but I said, you know, I am, you know, I'm the freaking church lady.

1:17:04Now give me a cup of coffee. I think I said that. And then you and Chris just called me the lady, period. Every rehearsal, see it, where's lady? Saw you lady. How's it going, lady? Yeah. Same thing with Vari. It was only lady, only you two guys. Never stop. I think if I saw you... I didn't call you Dana until 2022. Yeah, I remember that day. I teared up a little bit. I was like, I have a name. I'm a person. I have... Yeah. David? I saw Chris on the back of some comedy magazine. It was a picture of you and Sandler in the corner. and I was in LA and I, I didn't know either of you guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was doing the same thing in the Valley here, um, where Schneider and Drake say there, and a lot of comics were going on and Judd and, and I'd see Sandler and covert and, you know, same situation where Sandler was great.

1:18:09And then we all kind of goofed around and, and then he goes out, you know, and then he's doing out there you, and then we all wind up in the same show. It was such a ridiculous miracle. It's so funny how that happened. Very strange. Ridiculous. Just to make a living. That's all I thought about when I put down my waiter apron. Could this be my job? Could my job be doing stand-up, basically? That was it. That's the touchstone. And then other things happened, too. But still, that is the full circle. You're still doing good. Dana, you're doing great. Thank you. And let's thank the audience for coming down.

1:18:45you guys we appreciate it and thank you Chris Rock Chris Rock everybody we'll see you guys thank you

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