David Meets the Cast of Obsession + The NBA Finals

27:29Dana Carvey:I can get cranky, but I kind of, I always say to myself when I'm in really rough air, and just please be seated and whatever, and drenched in sweat, and the hotel's three hours away, I always go, what am I doing here? What am I doing? I go, what am I doing here? Yeah. And then I go, well, you're earning money. Yeah, this is a job. It's a job. When I'm up there, it looks breezy. And when you're grinding, I will only really complain about the pain. If it hurts my neck. Other than that, it's all boring. Sure, sure, sure. But we land in Chicago and it's like we park and everyone starts to stand up.

28:06They go, no, we don't have a parking spot. We're in the middle of the runway. So just hang tight. Dana, one solid hour of hanging tight. And it's already over, which is infuriating because you're like, well, what are we doing?

28:19Dana Carvey:Hurry up and wait. That's it. Jerry Seinfeld, I think, said stand-up is about waiting. Hurry up and wait is movies. That's what they always say. I probably can't describe this, but the last time Paul and I flew into Chicago, there was the one-in-a-century windstorm. One-in-a-century. No, I'm serious. You could look it up. It's like a year ago, a year and a half. I don't know. It was just a 10-mile-high dust thing that was enveloping the city. We were one of the last planes in. You could bear everything. You couldn't even see the city. We're coming in heavy. Everybody's pleased to be seated on a flight attendant.

28:54Dana Carvey:Locked up. We got road stories, man. People are going, what else are you guys talking about? You're in a scene from The Mummy. All right. We can get to... Oh, here's some stories. Oh, yeah. The Knicks. I'm worried about the Knicks because it would be really fun to see them win. But there was just a soccer match where they burned the city to the ground when they won. I thought they lost. and I'm scared of New York winning because they get so excited. There's always someone that goes, my excitement equals fire. And so you go, well, what about just good old fashioned pop the champagne? No. Yeah. Why not go?

29:35Dana Carvey:Hooray. Hooray is great. Hooray. You know what? I'm so glad the Knicks won. I think we should light some cars on fire. I know. Why don't we light it? I know. I don't know why we will see. I do. I like San Antonio. They're great, but I kind of feel like the Knicks would be it. I like when they go there, do they are due. Give them something fun. The Knicks beat the Spurs during the regular season. What you're watching is a reality show, right? So the reality show on the Spurs side, the team is like the youngest team that's ever been in the NBA finals. These guys are right out of high school. 22 is the senior vet.

30:20Dana Carvey:Listen up, everybody. And they have Harrison Barnes. He's the old man. And basically, you're watching a team gain confidence in real time. So we don't really know what's going to happen. Well, we don't know because the first game is tonight. So this will be after the second game. And I'm sure we'll know more after two games. We'll probably know who won two games. Well, yeah, Jalen Brunson is quite a... He's a monster. Well, because they always say he's the shortest guy, he's the smallest guy in the court at 6 '2 or something. But he'll get to 10 feet or 5 feet away, he goes around people, and then he just switches these things.

31:02Dana Carvey:But then if the alien's in there at 7 '6 with an 8-foot wingspan, Jalen's going to have to aim at the top of the ceiling. Here's the guy about to shoot, and he gets the ball thrown at him. As he's dipping down his chute, here comes. here's the hand there's the net he literally has to throw it straight up that's what i used to do it's horrible straight up to get over the alien into the into the thing so anyway i like i like i i i'm not really rooting like in a personal way for because i'm golden state warriors but uh i like both teams be interesting right uh we're having an election but it's probably going to be it won't be over they'll be down to the last two in LA.

31:50Dana Carvey:It looks like Spencer Pratt and Karen Bass are going to be as of this. At press time. At press time are going to be in a runoff. And that's not till November. Yeah. And two very different thinkers. And if it's those two, it would be kind of a race because in LA, if people you didn't know this. For those who at home don't understand What I didn't know is when they do a preliminary voting, it's the top two candidates. It doesn't have, I always thought it was Republican versus Democrat. Yes. The top of each one, but it's whatever the top two voters are. So if the top two votes are for two Democrats or two Republicans, those two move on.

32:37So it's really just already almost one. It's just between two different ones. So this will be for the first time in a while, it will be old school boxing.

32:47Dana Carvey:Well, it is. I mean, in the history of California, the last generation or so, it the idea that there is sort of maybe a possible race going to happen. You know, I mean, it's usually not close. The Democrats will usually win by about 30 percent, 40 percent usually. So same thing with governor. So I think it's going to be interesting for the next. Steve Hilton from Great Britain. I came over to be covered. I appreciate any vote, even if it's not for me. This state is in a state of disaster, and I know how to fix it. That little Pierce Morgan. No, no, that was a little Michael Caine. Pierce Morgan's like, is that what?

33:32Where's your Pierce Morgan? Is someone laying down handing him to you? Is Paula down there?

33:38Dana Carvey:No, I keep it nearby. One man should. So, David, is this your idea of a good show? He's always so fucking critical. When you talk about flights that are difficult, do you think people enjoy that? I mean, do you think that's an amusing story to tell? Well, we do it a lot, so I think maybe you're right that we should sort of trim that part up. I listen to what he says. Well, I got to get a shorter stick so he can get up in your grill. He really gets too confrontational with me. I don't like them that close

34:14Dana Carvey:Maybe there's something wrong with me Why do I have this puppet? I didn't know they're so little I guess you push them up to the camera They're funny Hang on One man band Don't let the things fall to your ear Oh my gosh Heather look at this The church lady How long did that take your horse to make. Hang on. I'm going to... Yes. As the baby... Yeah, do you have a glue stick? These are questions from the audience. These are made by a friend of mine, Mark Hirschhorn, who just... Oh, I know Hirschhorn. It was surprisingly difficult. You have to get the right size of the purse. And some are giant. Dean Martin was just a huge one.

35:01Do you want to pick three randoms and do buzzing around?

35:05Dana Carvey:Yeah, I have an idea for buzzing around. Okay, I'll let you get situated while I introduce it Okay, here we go Okay, take your time Ladies and gentlemen, I wish we had a drum roll It's time for buzzing around Your favorite thing in the world Sponsored by 5R Energy's Firework Freeze A flavor

35:28Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, and blue Freezer pop Classic reimagined As a delicious firework freeze five hour energy shot. Why is that hard for me to say? Find firework freeze shots online at five hour energy dot com or Amazon today. Okay. Now, Dana is going to since I brought

35:53Dana Carvey:Pierce Morgan, I'm going to do a Pierce. I like him. Okay. Okay. He's going to do a scenario, a scenario when and different characters will come into this scenario. Three minimum Max is no Max. Max 37. Max the whole bucket. Welcome to the Pierce Morgan Show. I have an array of guests here to talk about the situation I ran in the Strait of Hormuz. Oh, it's getting serious. I know. Should I do that? I don't care. Here's my first guest. Could you all know him? Arnold, former governor, movie star, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold, what do you have to say? Yeah. But everybody says a good job. All right.

36:40Dana Carvey:That's well put. It's one man's opinion. Woody Allen, let me do without that. Woody Allen, what do you have to say? No. All right. That's very good. Now, Bill Clinton, what do you have to say? Well, I will say it's all time to say it. Oh, very good. President Barack Obama. Adam Sandler, the famous movie star and comedian. Adam Sandler, what do you have to say, David?

37:26Dana Carvey:And of course, President Trump.

37:32No one's really saying anything

37:35Dana Carvey:You think? No, I think I kind of understand Jimmy Fallon, what do you have to say? This is crazy

37:47Dana Carvey:George W. Bush What do you have to say?

37:57Dana Carvey:And David Spade What do you have to say

38:03I was at the airport

38:07Dana Carvey:I think we've had too many airport stories I know So embarrassed And Mike Tyson Finally what do you have to say Oh this feels like a closer Yeah what are you going to do about it What Do you mean Someone is taking it dump What are you going to do about it Well what do you mean What are you going to do about it Like what should I do about it or what Am I going to do about it Good question What are you going to do about it That's what I say I say what are you going to do about it Arnold yeah what are you going to do about it Woody yeah what are you going to do about it Clinton, what are you going to do about it?

38:50Dana Carvey:Trump, what are you going to do about it? Jimmy Fallon, what are you going to do about it? Lovitz, what are you going to do about it? And scene. All right. That was a different one. This has been buzzing around, I'm guessing. That was, I don't know. That was a... My premise was to do the impressions so that everyone was just a sound. But it was a little bobbly. This was buzzing around. Whatever that was, was buzzing around sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor. The iconic red, white, and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a tasty flavor sensation with Firework Freeze.

39:36five hour energy shots available online at five energy.com and amazon today good job all right let's go to some news stories you did it really you that was incredible no you work good job i worked it people know they're oh this is about ai i love it our favorite your favorite

39:56Dana Carvey:subject example of the world where the world can benefit incredibly from the data center like this and the local community can be thrilled with the decision. We know how complex of a project this is. We get you. We know what the current attitude towards data centers in the world is. I'll come back to this, but I think we can make this a great example for the future. But this is a huge bet, and this is something that is not an easy project. What is he talking about? Hopefully someday we'll all read about some incredible thing AI has done before society. It's easy to throw around these numbers. One gigawatt.

40:32Dana Carvey:I can. It's a lot of gigawatts. One gigawatt. Billions of dollars. Billions of dollars. I have to conceptualize that too. And it's easy to look out at this right now and say, okay, you know, looks like another construction site. It looks like a Walmart. It does. Sounds like a lot of money. Scale this, what this much AI can do for the world. Condescending. It sounds like, oh, it's a big number. I've heard numbers before. I still don't know. I have a question for him, though. Massive industry. That's going to be extremely important. Just return to the site where millions of small businesses can run their business With AI in the cloud.

41:03Dana Carvey:It is very important. Says the billionaire. I don't know. Mutually benefit each other. I think I understand something about how. It's no sale. What it takes to have a project. Why does he seem nervous and hesitant? He's trying to spin it like it's so great. The world can benefit. I'd better have a farm than have a farm machine. Okay, all right. We know how complex. Well, he's not being specific. He's sort of just generally, if you're in the Midwest, that's an oven. These people do not want you there, I would imagine, because they're sort of like taking over farms. Well, look, here's the question.

41:51Dana Carvey:I like specifics. Like, where is he? How much open land? Where is it? How far is it away from the town center? is it to emit any pollution or is it a matter of they bring in hydraulic natural gas that they can kind of in right at the site power it but the idea is as follows is that we this is the promise that ai as far as biomedicine and stuff like that no more cancer sorry you don't see it that much of that they don't talk about it as much but the reason they're doing this lead with that is that it's this next level kind of brain so you can an ai can read a hundred thousand pages of data and in two seconds and remember every part of it so that it can look at cells it can identify cells how they move around certain cells uh 20 years before they turn into cancer cells the cancer cells potential cancer cells move differently only the ai could see that.

42:53Dana Carvey:The other thing is people worry about climate change and energy. Look at the Stratohormuz. Unlimited fusion energy or whatever AI comes up, totally clean and unlimited. So the reason this stuff's a pain in the ass, we get it, but they're not really explaining what the potentiality is. And that seems to be the consensus is that we are going to open up things we can't comprehend. The problem is the efficiency of these corporations in certain segments, AI agents, they're called. And there are a lot of people, you know, we may have an AI agent at some point. Oh, you mean where you call and talk to an AI?

43:31Yeah.

43:32Dana Carvey:And it'll be really, really, really, really conversational. I did a hotel on the road and I called down and they said, call Abigail and text her. And this is a weird thing. And I said, to get whatever you want. And I have to text Abigail. She texts back, hi, what can I do for you? And I go, I just need this. And she goes, okay, put your name, put your email, put your room number, put your this. And I do all this horseshit. She's like, what can I do? And I go, I need this because this is broken in my room. Can you help me? Well, actually put your name and it went in circles and nothing happened.

44:09And that's when you want to go, I get it, but I would rather talk to someone at some point because it kind of got stuck in a glitch. Another problem is I think they should lead with the, we're curing cancer and not with, we're taking all your jobs. So that's why he's saying all what it could do because great, but there's eminent domain, or if I'm using the right term, where these people are just being told, we'd like to come to your farm and buy it. And they say, no. And they say, well, well, we can do the dirty way eminent domain. We're just taking it. So we'll pay you some money, fair value, get out of here.

44:44And a lot of places are also voting against it. But there's small townships that have a million dollar budget and they go, we're going to sue you. And they settle and just say, just do it. We only have a million dollars to sue you back and we can't afford your highfalutin lawyers. So it's just going to happen no matter what. And now the buzzing is what bothers me when people say they live near them. And you hear, well, that can't happen. That's terrifying.

45:09Dana Carvey:If their energy is where they are, like these small, they call them SMR, small modular reactors are on the horizon, but they will be a very safe, somewhat gigawatt, small nuclear reactor. And so you can put it in the middle of Montana and then it'll get the energy that it needs. It needs energy and water. They don't really explain it well enough that why are they doing this and why are so many people doing it? Why do we have to build so many data centers? Couldn't we build one giant data center that will give us all this information? But the one thing about humans, I mean, in the Industrial Revolution, they were furious at the people.

45:50Dana Carvey:Now they weren't shoveling things. They had a steam shovel. And the horse and buggy people went crazy when cars came in. I still have that business. It's bombing. Yeah, I was surprised when I first went to your house. You have a really cool horse and buggy out front. I go, David, it's 2026. I thought they were coming back, but it's going the other way. You're like, hey, buddy. Hey, buddy.

46:18That was a good horse. You did a good horse.

46:20Dana Carvey:Yeah, because I have horses. Don't be jealous. Don't be mad. I am a little jealous. Very calming to have a horse. I think you're more mad at my horses. I'm just mad at everything. Arm, your land. And you should have an inflatable koi at your house. That's what you need in the backyard. But hear me now. I'll believe me later. We're going to have very safe self-driving cars. No more car accidents. We're going to have cars that are completely clean, running on clean energy. There's a lot of benefits, but we may have to have universal basic income. It's going to have to be like good news and bad news.

47:02Dana Carvey:The bad news, you're fired. The good news is you're going to get a check. Now, people that, yeah. So it is weird. I mean, eventually they will replace us, David. You know, yeah, there'll be robot comedians that will crush.

47:20Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break. All right. Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts. So let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

47:33Dana Carvey:Snapple Real Fact 455. Movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them. I've heard that. Snapple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day. Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league. That's interesting. Snapple Real Fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm. So grab a Snapple. Take a second. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment. Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day.

48:18Snapple, make your break more interesting. All right. Now, before we get back, we have a message from Ashley the Mosquito about Orkin. Hey, besties. Hope all of you are high key so excited for summer. It's literally giving all of us mosquitoes life. So we thought we'd help everybody make the most of it before orc and pros try to ruin our fun. Remember, if you have standing water on your lawn from the pool or the sprinkler, just let it sit there. The more the merrier. When there's standing water, there'll be more mosquitoes. Plenty more. Next up is a bit of a hot take, but we're so hyped on it.

48:52Let mosquitoes inside. What could go wrong? Just let us inside, please. Thanks. Love you.

48:57Dana Carvey:finally the number one rule this summer is do not under any circumstances speak to anybody from orkin that is literally so cringe it will ruin the vibe of any get together we might be having take it from a mosquito orkin pros know literally everything about us period don't visit orkin.com for a free estimate today now let's go suck some blood Now let's go suck some blood Number one with a blood bullet Whatever your thing It could be anything Canva helps you make that thing A thing Canva is a simple online tool thing It's a way to design with our magic AI tool things You can social media your thing Generate images or videos of your thing Make decks or presentations to show your thing Whatever needs to be done for your thing Canva can make it an even better and bigger thing.

49:57Dana Carvey:Canva, the thing that makes anything a thing.

50:05All right, we'll move on to the next one, but Dana's very knowledgeable. Well, not really, but... Ask them in the comments. Okay. Is it another hippo thing? Let me see. Tennessee has deployed robots to deal with the feral hog problem. Let's see how they do it. Okay. This is in Tennessee. Wild boars. Hey, come back, hogs And that's the robot? This is your answer?

50:28Dana Carvey:This doofus? Well, I don't blame the hogs I don't blame It doesn't have a weapon or anything It's just so fucking creepy The hogs, of course, aren't Fucking later Who would go up to them and go I had three javelinas on my front yard When I lived in Arizona They come down off the mountain Squaw peak uh-oh I'm sure I do have a pig noise if we had more time I would really show you I would show you up that's a scene from Obsession horses okay I'll find it for next week's episode alright what anything else we got more stories we got a lot of stories no no

51:21How much were the actors paid on Euphoria? Is this interesting? I was telling Heather this. Let's see. Season three. Here's how much the actors were paid for. She just ended and I saw it all. In sixth place, the lowest paid actress is Maude Apatow, who plays Lexi. She was paid$250 ,000 per episode, totaling$2 million per season. That's huge. Fifth place is actress Hunter Schaefer, who plays Jules. She was also paid$250 ,000 per episode, or$2 million for the season. In fourth place is actress Alexa Demi, who plays Maddie. She was paid$600 ,000 per episode, which comes to$4.8 million for the season.

51:54Now, onto the podium. Coming in third place is actor Jacob Elordi, who plays Nate. He was paid$700 ,000 per episode, which comes to$5.6 million for the season. In second place, as you probably guessed, is actress Sydney Sweeney, who plays Cassie. And she was paid$800 ,000 per episode, totaling$6.4 million for the season. Not surprising, given she's become a superstar. And of course, the highest paid actress is Zendaya, who plays Rue. And she was paid$1 million per episode, totaling$8 million. Wow. It's worth noting that in 2002, she was paid$500 ,000 per episode. And all the other actors mentioned earlier were paid$25 ,000 per episode.

52:29So Sidney's biggest pay raise. Here's how much. Why would what? Why would I believe it? I'm not. I'm just saying just for fodder that I actually believe that that could be true. this is their biggest show i saw another thing on this it's their biggest show on hbo worldwide it went up 44 from season two people complained about the storylines but there were too many big stars in it and they were too beautiful and good-looking the two leads and maddie and uh jacob elor he's great looking dude so they're just big stars with a weird show it's got a lot of sex and violence in it and i feel bad for teenagers going this of course influences people as they say it doesn't but of course it doesn't if you're not doing what they're doing on the show you're like oh this is what people are doing that are my age oh we should do this like i think it's all iffy but it is a

53:25Dana Carvey:dispiriting global phenomenon for a lot of people that like when i was a kid we had like a billionaire j paul getty and that was it and now you're just seeing and hearing so much about what people are getting and it just feels like you know what am i missing out on that's why everyone's in the stock market everyone's playing the stock market it's keeps going up and i'm shocked it's record again i'm like i don't have enough in there but you know well it's because the if you believe the ai thesis as we just talked about that this thing is going and they're going to be all these companies that you didn't really think about like corning used to make glass they're they're in the ai thing and bottlenecks and uh caterpillar stock and g narova which is but won't they be pushed away or they're just going to build data well they they call it capix it's going to probably take another five years to to before it starts to have been built and it'll come back down but there's there's potentially gonna go up for a while i don't know but basically well who does that is it hbo max Who does that show?

54:33Dana Carvey:HBO. And you know, when they spend that much money, like Netflix spends a lot of money on things, it has to be worth it to spend that much money. So to have your biggest flagship show globally in every country making money. Yeah, they're not being nice. They're paying. Someone's figured out what their market value is. They're getting a deal somehow. Yeah. Plus all the hashtags and all the Instagrams and all the people that tag it and talk about it. It's just everywhere. Well, what the live streaming sites do now is they give you money up front, but they won't give you back in. Now, if you come from Friends or Ray Romano or those people, which I'm all happy for them, they're still making like 18 million a year, 25 years later.

55:15Biggest shows that were a big bang, probably.

55:17Dana Carvey:Because they got ownership. You know, they got back in. And there's really not such a thing reruns anymore. Well, live streaming, they don't really rerun them. You know, so I don't know. But yeah, I'm with you. And what do they net? I mean, you know, they don't want you to know, but it's huge money, huge money. So I believe those numbers. I think they're I would think the top people are worth it. The rest, I guess they are worth it. And they're part of a show, part of the fabric. So, you know, more power to them. I say get every penny you can and they're all they're all worth it. And, you know, that show.

55:54Dana Carvey:Yeah, you're right. When they get a global phenomenon like that, they can lean shows in on it. It's a big, huge asset. And that's it. That was the last one. So, I mean, they can keep the name and populate it with more people like they do on these reality shows. And it might do as well. The name is a big deal to have euphoria. People love it. This reminded me of something, though, Dana, because with all this money, there's a guy. You were just talking about the election. there's a guy running for it remind me of your bernie sanders bit because he's running for governor oh yeah tom steyer and he's a billionaire and his new thing was you know we're gonna have trillionaires soon and we got to stop these people i'm like oh it went from i'm like how can you talk about the and he was saying some people have too much money we got to stop the wealth gap i'm like it should literally be coming from anyone else like you're a billionaire And he's like, and that's not that much anymore.

56:49I thought it was millionaire.

56:51Dana Carvey:Yeah. I think it's the best, it's the worst or best cast secret in the world is what is, what is a billion dollars? You know, I mean, and I don't know how much he's got, but if he was very honest about it, he goes, he'd go, well, I got 10 billion. I got it in bonds. I make like 500 million a year net for hanging out. You know what I mean? You can't even get it. It's like gum on your shoe. you can't spend it yeah fast enough yeah yeah yeah but um you know there's no billionaires in in cuba or north korea so it's sort of part of this thing that's unfortunate but maybe it's out of control but we just have to have people be able to win you know they create a lot of jobs so yeah i don't know he spent 150 million on the campaign so far so they do have some say but i think he's preaching to a crowd that's like, wait, I think billionaires aren't the hot thing right now.

57:47Dana Carvey:Well, Bernie even took it a step further because, you know, he would say it's the millionaires and the billionaires. And then he found out that he was a million, a millionaire. He goes, it's the billionaires. Right. That's what I was spitting at. Like he goes, he talked about trillionaires and I'm like, okay, well, and that's a trillionaires of the ones there probably will be Elon Musk. I mean, but eventually a billionaire will come up there and just say, I hate myself yeah exactly you know I think the greatest thing that Warren Buffett ever said and I still love it he goes I ought to pay more tax I know you're like okay all human beings can write a check to the Federal Reserve 24-7 year round I ought to pay more tax but I'll only pay more tax if IRS agents come to my house and point guns at me but I want to pay more tax but I'll only do it under this so it's a little i'll just say this soap boxes are slippery yeah so be careful when you get up on one you know they're soapy they're soapy and slippery they're sudsy any other box you could stand on yeah okay last let's do one more if you feel like it let's yeah i got nothing going on all right open carry now legal in philadelphia this doesn't seem true it might be fake bro it might be fake let me see the bullets I don't know.

59:08Dana Carvey:Okay, all right. Is that good and all that? Okay, so all you needed was an ID. All I needed an ID. Okay, all right. So are you AI? Nah. Do you like what's going on? Yeah. Tell me about yourself, young fella. Tell me about yourself. Put your hand in front of your face. Make sure you get that. Yeah. Look who's here. Walk over to the room. Is this real? I don't know. Come on, walk over here. Walk over here. We're going to get right here. Tell me about yourself, young fella. I've been growing up in the streets, seen a lot of violence, seen a lot of things. I mean, I can see you concealing, Carrie.

59:36I've seen a lot of things and I've seen him and he told me the law and now we're outside with the talk. And I do it first

59:44Dana Carvey:so you can do it second. Is he arrested right now? There's a lot of violence in Chicago, Philadelphia. If any of those things that you told me I would be, you can believe it now. Okay, so you got this. Well, this... How much is it... Well, those are cops walking behind him. This might be fake. We'll look up if concealing care... Concealing care is one thing. Yeah What you want to be when you grow up Well I don't know I mean it's just forgetting the law Or anything It's just if a guy was walking around West Hollywood With the AR just like that Looking kind of sketchy and twitchy Your instinct is like This doesn't feel right What does it cost to rent an apartment In that neighborhood It shouldn't be too much 35 cents.

1:00:36I mean, I wouldn't want an, I mean, when I went to Chicago and they, they probably other than Mississippi, they probably the most shootings every weekend. So they, on Memorial day, I think they had 20 shootings where people were hit, you know, some died, some didn't, but every weekend in Chicago is really terrifying. It's just, they cannot get a handle on it. And so something like that wouldn't shock me. It would shock me, I guess, because they show police walking behind them. And if someone, if the police aren't saying anything,

1:01:05Dana Carvey:then i don't know well it really gets back to like uh 1880 or something like okay you just have west you there's no real law enforcement there's one dude who's who's scared and he's up in his office barney fife and yeah so then you just got to have weapons walk around with a shotgun yeah could i get a um give me some i want some of this gum here maybe uh like give me a coca-cola right please i'm gonna pay but i just wanted to talk well by i think people will pack because they have to say listen i don't know what's out there well where is the line if you've got basically a machine gun you're just a young man cruising around or a woman can you drive a tank in the town could you have a grenades around you and just have you know i need protect what's illegal we'll look that into that one see if it's fake i just i hope you would because arizona's concealed carry so you can have a gun on you at all times as long as you're not whipping it out or there's somewhere you have to show it so they know they see it in a holster yeah carrying around a machine gun well there's something about you know i i don't a little intimidating you want a person with a weapon to be really it feels like that guy just bought it and slung it around he doesn't look like it's professional with it it just seemed too casual you know i mean if it's it's concealed carry and you really know how to use the weapon and you're vetted and you qualified and you train for it you know you know i have i used to have a deer rifle and a 30 and this those that mag had bolts that look like the kind i use in a deer rifle check off my 10th birthday folks that's thanks did you ever get joy in shooting a deer or was it just called a deer no i wound up not shooting deer because we shot a lot of doves and stuff my brother andy didn't like it which he had the best hunch.

1:02:59And then as I went on, I didn't like it. I mean, dove and, and quail and stuff, but rabbits, but after a while you start to go, wait, what are we doing? You know? And, and deer, I think the only problem is you see them in the sights aside from they're adorable, but you see them in the target and you're like, okay, I won. They're not moving. All I have to do is pull the trigger. I mean, it's not really like you're so good at it. You know, it's like you're hiding you see it they're just doing their business it's like someone being a sniper here you can always pick someone off it's not like some big heart yeah i know i mean it's it's a complicated

1:03:37Dana Carvey:subject because a lot of people eat meat in this country and you know but more it's like one of a i don't want to be the trigger man though uh it wouldn't be fun i mean because you know if you're going to slay an animal you want it to be for sure like you know over rather than i think i winged him let's go and you know chase it you know i don't like that guy southern well i don't know why i made him southern i i don't got any problem with southern people you understand what's that duck show duck dynasty i know all right when should we do one more is that it what do you you gotta go home i am dana i had a wonderful time with you i wore my budweiser shirt it's old the shirt looked awesome in the in the look you're the hat and the shirt you won today my hat's a little big again but i just pulled it out because i had the white thing matching it's cool it's a fragile ocean it's a surf company but you know the thing about i don't want to look like nascar you know you have nick swartzen's always i got a hat with something right and everything about Autumn is stupid also, so it's too much.

1:04:44Dana Carvey:Oh, Swartzy? Swartzy. He goes, you were in Minnesota. My brother went to the show. I got his brother tickets. He goes, you didn't even give me a shout out. I go, I'm at an Indian casino outside of Minnesota. I didn't think. He thinks he's Prince. I did one recently. Someone came up and said, I liked hearing all the old stuff. Good. Good. Yeah, you're lucky. I add little things to them yeah alright well thanks Dana thanks for coming on my show next week maybe we'll hear about the horse being born bye bye

1:05:23alright listen if you're enjoying the fly on the wall of course hopefully you are click follow we don't want to be desperate but obviously smash that god dang button on your favorite podcast app leave a review a good one leave a five star rating nothing else and maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe, Dana. What do you think?

1:05:47Dana Carvey:I'm going to tell you this right now. Hear me now and believe me later. Fly on the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey and executive produced by Hold For It, Dana Carvey and David Spade, or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent production and booking by Sophia Lepore.