Diddy Trial; AI Aniston; Poop Knife

0:00So Dana's got a banana and I guess everyone, I don't know if everyone heard about this but look at that, that's what he's starting with. Is it super professional? Is it super professional? I don't know.

0:29code. We did start, but we're letting him go. All right, let's start recording. No, we started. You were regurgitating a banana. Good job. So you got your potassium levels up? I feel kind of amped up right now. You know that this is fun fact for you, because I know you're a cinephile film buff. Stallone wanted to lower his IQ. when he played Rocky. He did, right? He said he made sure he got really low on potassium. He wouldn't eat any bananas. And he felt that that would make him, what are you doing about here? And they go, we can't understand you, Sly. Could you have half a banana? And raise that IQ.

1:17I have a banana. What is it? Get him a banana. This is his whole take.

1:32This is take one when he goes I was Cut We can't understand a word you're saying What are you talking about Is my hat crooked No it's not the hat We didn't have a turtle named fucking Dumpling or something What was his turtle name Butkus Yes That's a fan question Butkus Dumpling I made up but Butkus you found it No you eat a dumpling Buck, Buck, Buck Kiss is a turtle. Hey, don't matter how well, my turtle is a turtle. I won an Oscar. Not doing Mike Tyson. What was the dog's name on the Brady Bunch? The dog's, uh, Buster. Nope, Jan. Anyway, let's move on. That's the roughest joke that I heard at school.

2:19Are we going to get canceled this soon into the podcast? Are we going to get Jan-celed? We shouldn't even go on. We just gave all their monies were the jokes right there. Now it's just gravy. We went to the seventies. We went to the seventies. What? God, Heather just tried to trip me up and she felt loud. Heather's a chatterbox today. Yeah. She yelled out, what's Jan's real name? No, I didn't. What was the dog's name? Tiger. Thank you. Oh, the dog's name was Tiger. How many in the Brady Bunch? How many kids? Dana, this isn't amateur hour. This isn't round one Of who wants to win a millionaire There's not eight Dana You don't know, do you ever see the Brady Bunch?

3:04It wasn't, I was on my radar I was more What was I watching? MASH A TV show, sitcoms I'd be watching All in the Family Sam Burton's done Edith Stifley I don't know what you're talking about What about Sandler's old joke about Axl Rose turning into Edith? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, watchy. I like that. That's funny. I love anything about it. He does it. A lot better. Watchy. What are you doing? Boy, you're wiggling, Miller plane. I don't like people of color. yeah you can't do that you stifle yourself that was it he was like Tony Soprano stifle yourself eat it stifle yourself we got to get right to this day and we can't let's start yeah we're starting with some stories and some news AI fake stories okay here's this is not a dishwasher commercial this is well I guess we're giving away a little bit of the uh ending but Red Panda who Dana, you know, you know, when there's halftime or at the quarter, they have people come and entertain the troops.

4:29They have these novelty acts and jugglers and they do scary stuff. Yeah. Yeah. She's one of the best. She gets on a, I guess, an eight foot unicycle and juggles plates on her head. I mean, that's the easiest way to say it. Oh, I see. You know. So here she is. I can do that. I can do that. I can do that part. So far, I can do it. I can do it. We've shown this clip. Oh, she fell? she fell that fast? That's not the hard part. She didn't have plates on her head. I mean, the plates feel like the hard part. Are those paper plates or are they real plates? Well, I would start with paper plates. Um, well, I feel, I'm feeling a little sad for her right now because she was, she seemed to really on point and just ready to, ready to rock.

5:16And I can't really, I can't, can we see it one more time? That's called a non-playing injury. What is it called? she's in control, in control. in control she does a little back and forth back and forth hello i'm red pan and tonight's show you know what ow right in her tailbone i think she's she's okay right so we she broke her wrist there was a moment but she's all right that's fine a moment where she's up there and she's just looking out right and then you see she looks down and goes what the fuck am i doing up here and then down so never look down david yeah maybe she saw somebody in the audience that was famous you know maybe not who's famous at a Lakers game?

6:01everybody it wasn't a Lakers game it's off season now oh I think it was a different game I saw but Minnesota maybe but she so you got your eight foot unicycle which you're very used to she's just doing the old back and forth which when I rode a unicycle that's what I start my show with a little like zip zip zip zip just to be like I've seen it I've seen it Seen it a million times. And then she's still got to go to the dishwasher and get all the plates to throw. So I thought it was mid-plates because that's the hard part. She throws plates up like a bowl and then the bowl ends on the bowl. The cheese was plates flying all over the place.

6:38Yeah, this part wasn't the hard part is what I'm getting at. So, you know, bless her heart. And everyone was like giving her like applause for getting up and being wheelchaired off. because she is like a legendary performer for these games. You know, you start out, you're probably just a little girl. You ride a bike with two wheels, and then your dad makes one bike unicycle. You do that, but it's kind of low, and you're going through grade school and stuff. And then eventually, like when you're like 18 or something, you put one bowl on your head. You do that for an afternoon. And next thing you know, I mean, I guess she had like, she'd have like 25 plates on the unicycle, and then she'd juggle and eat an apple at the same time?

7:19How far did it go? It's all those things where you're like, how did that start? Where you put the dog's dish on your head and you go, hey, that didn't fall off. Let me put two. And you go, maybe this is my calling. But I think she makes a pretty tidy living. She's famous, yeah. Let me ask you a question. Please. In the stand-up world, in the early days, did you ever follow a juggler? Ron Perlman, is that his name? Yeah. Yeah. A couple, you know, at the comedy magic club, you would always follow a magician, which is tough too. Uh, but jugglers. Yeah. They're good. Yeah. Did you, I followed Michael Davis who became famous and he was, he, I came up and stand up with him, a friend of mine and he, we were playing Chico and he would literally escalate to the point where he'd have, uh, an apple, a bowling ball and a moving chainsaw.

8:15and he's going like this and eating the apple. And he doesn't eat the machete. He doesn't want to eat the machete. Yeah, just going around. So it's unbelievable. The whole crowd is stunned and massive standing ovation. And I'm not on TV or anything. Welcome. Here is Dana Glarko. I'm like, hi, everybody. That was tough to follow that. Hi, I'm from San Francisco. Well, San Francisco area. Why am I talking like that? I was 25 years old. Kind of like Garth. Hi, everybody. I can't juggle anything, but right now I'm going to eat an apple. I'm good too, right? But I put my hand in my pocket and play pocket pool sometimes.

8:57What? And my wiener. Yep. Oh, now you're happy. Let me see. It took us nine minutes. We got to. We got to. Next clip. Clippy. Pocket pool is the greatest term no one uses anymore. Okay. Oh, this is sad. this is a guy that got scammed out of money by Jennifer Aniston said she loved him and needed cash for her Apple subscriptions that's what she needs it for he should a quick Google will say she's worth about 200 million dollars I know how do we see a picture of who believed it or just a helmet on the bottom It looks like a robot. Oh. So what happened was, now listen, I know Jennifer a little bit, and she has hit me up, she said, for money for Angry Birds because she wants more bird bombs.

9:53I'm like, these aren't necessities. If you need money, I'll give you money. But it's not going to be for Angry Birds or Apple subscriptions. It's ridiculous. So did he, was this just in print or was there a digital copy of a copy of Jenner for Aniston? I think AI, your favorite Jennifer Aniston was like, hello, kind sir. Please send me money so I can get Apple news. Every time I click a story, it says you have to buy it. It's almost as bad as Daily Mail. Well, AI is better than that. You're back at the marionette. You're like kind of in the 1930s. hello i'm ai i could be a digital copy right now not gonna say but it's that good here's how good it is now hi i'm janver aniston it's got a few glitches i played rachel yeah i would like money i need money i'm rachel please please send me some shit so much send me money please i forgot i I totally love you.

11:01But I have people that go, please, like, no joke, Dana, on Instagram. No joke. I do have a Facebook, but the people that send in like, hey, you never showed up in Spokane at like some restaurant we were supposed to meet at midnight on New Year's Eve. And I sent you your plane fare. I did everything right. What happened? I'm like, why suddenly is the real guy getting it now? Complain to the fake guy. like now so you must know i'm the real guy because then you come to me is this really you on the other one saying because i've been giving you money i'm like now you ask you should have asked at the early on and i say in my bio which is boring this is the only one i have it's real the other ones are fake but people still get scammed i don't know what's going on it's only gonna get worse i mean for sure Amazon has more AI, like people working in their factory, a million of them.

11:59Carts that are intelligent, they have a million of them. More than employees. Eventually, if you and I go out to dinner at a given time, I'll have to really say, is this you or an AI robot? And you will say, Yes. Why are you Yoda? Because he's like a little robot. it's me can't you tell wait a minute the voice is off let's try do god i used to be able to do with yoda i can't do it uh is no try only do first comes pain then comes suffering then comes party time yoda told me first comes love then comes marriage then comes baby in a baby carriage i You're just reading like an old joke book. First comes David and Susie sitting in a tree.

12:53K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Yeah, exactly. And that's not all. Yoda said quickly, Diarrhea. People think it's funny, but it's really hot and runny. I go, that's not, I mean, who says that? What people? By the way, there was a lot of YouTube comments that thought your plant was fake behind you. That's crazy. Why would anyone? That's not AI. That's real. Yeah, that's a real. Look, it gives it a few flicks. Look at that. Okay, okay. That's too much proof. Too much proof. From jungles in Guam it comes. Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Sounded like Scooby. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Puff Daddy. Puff Daddy. Puff Daddy. Scoob got away with most of the things, but he still says they were, he was, what was it?

13:45Transporting a prostitute. We better go, Scoob. Zoinks. He says zoinks sometimes, Scooby. Yeah. He goes, Shaggy goes, 50 Cent calls him the gay John Gotti. That's what he calls him. Is that right? 50 Cent's been all over him the whole trial on Instagram, just busting his balls. It's amazing. Heather follows it. It's amazing. why 50 cents? I think he doesn't like him so he just trashes him hilarious it's so good it sounds funny but the trial we don't really know where it's at we just heard that he's not getting bail is that what you heard? I hope he's contrite and learns his lesson but he sent me an email from prison inviting me to a freak off in about a month So I'm not sure he's learned his lesson.

14:42Unless it says G-rated freak-off, I'm not going. But I think if you get a freak-off now, and I've said this and everyone's quoted me, if you go male or female to a freak-off, because he's going to have another, if he gets out, he'll probably have one, and then you know what you're getting. So there's no arguing. There's no suing. It's like, hey, I know what I'm signing up for. We all know what they are now. So if you go, it might be some water sports. Stay away from the freak off. That's all I can say. Stay away. Just go to a nice cocktail party, casual dress, hors d 'oeuvre served. Or go to like a nice normal daytime freak off.

15:23Don't put these in. Okay, what else? Next story. Let's see what's going on. I have all the answers, Dana. Obviously, you hear all the answers. You kind of do. this man swiped right two million times on tinder in five years and could only get one date all what a bummer oh man why he seems like a normal enough dude yeah what was his problem was he swiping with his ass i mean looks like burt kreischer looks like every guy at the airport i saw last week i mean there's nothing wrong with this dude and he seems like and he's a nice dude dude he'll take you on a date i'm really pulling for this guy he likes the lake and i kevin nealon is happily married i don't even know why he's doing this does that look like nealon that's funny that's funny oh it's not even about this guy it's about nealon um yeah yeah so this man first of all i don't like that he's counting every time he swipes i mean does he do it with the sticks for forward and the line.

16:29How long does it take to swipe 2 million times? I mean, I've seen videos where people just go like this. Yes, yes, yes, yes. On everyone and just see, I mean, that's not the way you're supposed to do it. The first comment says you missed 2 million of the shots you don't take. That's Gretzky. Gretzky commented that. So I've never been on Tinder. So you're swiping your pictures shown to someone and then they either invite you. You say yes or no. So one way is yes. I don't know which way, but one way is yes. But the other comment was, if I had a dollar for every girl that didn't think I was attractive, they would now find me attractive because he'd be rich.

17:12That's a thinker, Dana. A lot of these comments are thinker. I just feel sorry for the younger generation. I think that the opportunity en masse online and with these dating sites to get wounded and feel bad is quantum. Yeah. And when you're, it's very rare, I'll see a guy in a bar just walk up to a table full. Hey, gals. Walk up to a table full of girls. How are you gals doing? They're like, huh? I just want to say hi, buy a drink, hang out. Can I grab a chair, scooch in? those days aren't over but they're diminishing don't you think Heather 100 until this last couple seasons of Love Island and guys are now going up to girls in bars and saying can I steal you oh yeah and it's working well yeah because even the bachelor when they walk up go can I steal you and now they say can I pull you for a chat which is basically everything's based on love island right now so love island and i've seen those videos where they say it but it's really tough to just talk in real life and it's easier to get rejected you know through texting or instagram dm or something so because there's no witnesses and they don't have the whole bar go you were hitting on her and she shot you down so that's kind of where the world's at um when i was probably 19 or 20 pre-stand-up you know i just went to like a place where people would dance or something in music you know and was so terrified and finally got the courage to ask someone to dance and they're like no i know and you're like screaming jokes in a bar and it's not working you're like here's dana if dana was single here's what he would be today walk up to a girl she's playing pinball or whatever you do in a bar and you go he goes hi um i'm dana are you on tv and she goes no and you go oh wait that's me hi i'm dana anyway what's the high score this would be you at a singles bar now um hi how are you i'm david spade um uh see uh i know dana carvey oh they light up they light up i try all these lines nothing then i go oh i guess i'm gonna leave i gotta go meet dana dana carvey you mean garth i'd get more yeah i start to leave you know the bitch and i go the church lady you know about that the bitch know about it i lived it where are you going why are you leaving i'm like oh let's facetime dana but for a second like that guy if it's real it seems like what would what would be david's makeover to him because if that's his picture oh for me don't don't women like bad boys even if you're not a bad boy try to get a picture where you look a little badass yeah i don't know if they like trout boys guys that are always fishing showing their fishes.

20:25He had like a fisherman's bucket hat and he's by the sea. It's a lot of me and my fish and the girl's like, I mean, great, but that's not really, I'll go to sushi. I'm going to try that with my wife. Hey, could I steal you? Can I steal you for a second? She goes, yes, it's only me and you in the house. You're like, can I steal you and talk to you outside for a second in private? I hate that. Hey, do you want the rest of my banana? that's a good line you go hey do you want the rest of this banana i was actually on a date and this and uh this happened twice and i had ordered something and then i didn't eat a lot of it and she was like it looks good and i go oh do you want the rest of it because i was done she was i don't want the rest of anything i'll get a new one she's a keeper man i was like you're not a keeper you're a loser i'm gonna lose you right now anyway go ahead you're back to your banana because i'm boring you look i zoned out about six minutes ago i don't know what we're talking about love island you were like this never seen it lived it um it's okay let's hear another story audience is not bored oh this woman is sitting there in like a laura angles wilder dress with pants on under it i think my family of six shares a poop knife interesting what's a poof knife let's find a poop knife this is the one that we have we keep it in our vinegar bucket Vinegar bucket.

22:09Sticks.

22:15Okay, I see it. You can't unsee it. How sharp is this crocodile dundee? Don't put your fingers in the water.

22:31Good cutaways. Cutaways sell it. Yeah. xylus fungium

22:41get the number two xylus fungium this one's a little bigger and it has handle okay I'm instantly sick Heather said you know just the idea of a poop knife is fine I don't need to see how sharp it is how it soaks in vinegar and how you stick your hand in the water how big are your shits when you need a sharpened buck knife well here's my question was the woman doing all the shh shh knife and all this stuff was she doing it as a comic bit i mean i don't know she looks she's got the plane very real yeah very straight yeah and that makes it funny but i just wonder if you know i don't know it feels like it's real the poop knife and uh she either does know it's embarrassing and it's funny or she doesn't but whoever maybe took that video and added in the reactions was funny the cat although especially the first one they had a female doll it was a barbie doll going like a horror film or something yeah gotta laugh out of heather for sure uh but you know so just maybe poop's knife should be our merch but that's not for sure but we haven't decided yet yeah slice and the new poop knife slice and dice all new poopy knife take a piece of poo and slice and dice it's just that easy are your poops too long and unruly I've never had a problem where they're like this one's not going to make it I need either like a smasher like you do with potatoes Well now I can bring in my very quick Insert of my character Red Rednecky The Redneck Comedian Two kind of scatological jokes He's supposed to be the worst southern comic In history I'm Red Rednecky the Redneck Comedian You ever fart so loud Dog too stayed away Go what dad Come and get some I'm Red Rednecky the Redneck Comedian You ever crap so big You don't know gonna get down that turlet come and get some that turlet he does have a good catchphrase come and get some is great it's positive you actually want to get through the joke so we can get to that i think it's all about the catchphrase i want to do that in a prosthetic thing and it doesn't look like me and i'm kind of a big guy and go on stage and do a hundred of those jokes in a row no we'll do it for one of our anniversary shows we'll make you get all into it i'm kind of into like instead of stand-up like going out in characters now that's kind of going through my head listen stand-up is not hitting a saturation point but when i'm on the road and they're like nikki glazier's coming next week and then here comes segura theo three weeks later and i think there's just not enough money to go around in some of these cities where these cities have a lot of rabid comedy fans that mean well and want to come out but it's not the improv and when you come to theaters you're paying a lot and then there's a concert you know and then uh of a band and just to be entertained is i'll admit because i'm part of the problem or the solution whatever whatever it is i'm one of these people out there on the road but it's got to be tough so i appreciate when they come out because coming out to a show you get a babysitter it's just a lot of oh the ticket prize the whole thing You know, play Great Falls, Montana You know, play where not everyone's going But as far as stand-up It's a person with a mic And it's taking an oath of laughs per minute It just seems kind of fun to shake it up Rather than the guy who's got his elbow on the mic What's up, everybody?

26:38Ha, is that my eye? I masturbated in front of my cat today That's my eye You don't do that joke, do you? I lean and that's what I start with you're describing me exactly oh hey what's up uh i can't even do you know now i come out with a lady i come out and i go and then i wait for everyone to calm down from the thunderous applause and then i've seen it i've seen it a lot of the people go you don't have to say anything we're just glad you're here we just like being with you in the room we just want to just just let it sink in and then they go do your act if you want but we're fine we already hit the price of admission from your first joke now it's gravy i'll tell you the sickness i have is what's your sickness what's crazy after how long i've done this yes i'm still dancing for my donuts i still whether it's a corporate date a theater a comedy club only if it's like a 15 seater i take the oath i uh i must kill yeah and yeah i was just trained because in my 20s you felt it was a dog eat dog you're the you're the mc you're the opener you're the middle and you have to always kill kill kill to get the headliner and then if you don't kill and the other guy kill you know so it's it's uh you're that's you know what i mean a the whole thing from the beginning everything's an audition every tiny club someone saw you hey i saw him the other night it was four people in the audience he did great great jokes those that travels around so you have to always say i have to try on this one try this one and then you're a middle act and you want to be so good that they say you should headline and when you're a headliner the middle acts are so good you have to be better than them so they don't flip-flop you exactly put you in the middle.

28:38And then when you get to these gigs where they're paying, no matter what they're paying a little or a lot, you go, I have to kill. And even when I'm doing, I say even, but corporate gigs are usually harder, but I always want to kill. It's the same thing. I go over my notes. I go over this. I go, I don't want to just walk through it. You're like, God, I got it. Now, if I don't, I don't, but I'm definitely take it seriously. Any of these gigs, sometimes you can't so that's why the only thing that's pure fun to me was i was telling bobby lee the comedy store when it's packed and you've got eight comics up there it feels like pressure but if i go so i would go to the haha cafe sometimes and uh like saturday at 7 p.m in the valley and uh be like 20 people there sure just enough to get a reaction but then you just have your notepad and you're just really trying stuff and you're making fun of it if it bombs.

29:35That's very enjoyable to me. That's usually the fun part because it's very real, you're into it. And you don't have to get huge laughs. You can just try, try anything you want. Your buddy Bobby Lee is on this week on the show. Very sweet, funny guy with a great laugh. Hilarious, we had such a blast. He'll be on in a couple days. To be honest.

30:28all right next story and then we're going to do some q a questions okay okay you know what the boo-boos are dana of course not boo-boo is another random dopey doll looks like a cabbage patch the doll maker becomes china's youngest top 10 billionaire wow 22 billion in this year i'm sure it's just this year he's 38 why this little boo-boo i saw some like hanging monkey dolls i was going to post at the airport and they kind of look like this nobody cared no one gave a fat fuck i'm like they're like we're hanging we do more than a boo-boo we're actually a little cuter they're a little softer it doesn't matter they like what they like well first of all this This essentially looks to me like it's in that three to nine-year-old area.

31:29Predominantly girls, probably. You wish. That have to have it. Or who's the audience for this? I think it goes up to adults. I hate to say. Like, Heather, would you want someone to give you that? I'll admit I have fallen for stupid things like this before, but this is beyond my comprehension. comprehension and dana full-on influence as adults are like staying up online at night to get these things and there's dupes going around yeah don't go don't fall for the dupes dana well back in the day there was pokemon cards sure goofy cards and eventually it was a million dollars for a certain card so it's just but that guy got 22 billion and i've done pretty good in life i just think people or working regular jobs would just be annoyed by that.

32:17Yeah. I'm annoyed by them. I'm annoyed by how much money you made. I don't like the doll. I don't like the guy. I don't like the$22 billion. I love the story. It was entertaining. The rest of it, Yeah. I'm with you because they just showed some NFT that sold for$60 million and it's worth under$100 now. Oh, that whole phase of the fungible. Yeah, NFT stuff. It was a gold rush and now literally they lost$60 million? That's one of the only things that I've said. I don't get it. I don't want to get involved. Yeah. Didn't Justin Bieber buy something like a picture of an ape smiling or something? Yeah.

32:59For NFT? Everybody did. I mean, all those rich people did and they all got fleeced. Damn, I hope Bitcoin is not one of those things. I know. They all got rinsed, my favorite words. Okay. So what's the next one? And then we'll do a question. One more story than a question.

33:17One more story. Here we go. One more story. Oh, this is toe wrestling. Have you ever seen toe wrestling in a bar? Nope. They got to hook your toe like that. I wonder. Oh, put powder on. I wonder what the hard part. Is it your quads or is it your actual ankles got to be strong? You can't beat a girl. Toe till destruction. It's your whole lower chain. I mean, you need the leg, knee, calf, especially. God, your kneecap could rip. Yeah. How do you win? I don't know if I want to pull my pants up over my calves. Well, what if you just scooch forward and pull them off? Is that Steven Greer? Yes. i don't like his third toe being the longest toe that guy sick yeah this is it's not aesthetically pleasing it's not that looks like a wiener how do you win oh you push him over the red line i think you either have to tap him into that wall that's coming off so you know just your ankle ankle strength has to be really strong and your toes toe muscle ankle muscle you're right not your calves but your knee your quads one guy's abs big toe is gnarled down like he chewed it some people chew their toenails now how can society top this we've had arm wrestling we've had the slap thing now we have toe wrestling what's next david i like slap fighting where it's an immediate cte it's just like you go oh my god oh my god i do when you put them in opposite orthodontist chairs and call it dental work and each one tries to pull a tooth of the other one first yeah i could see if they said we'll pay someone to just pull a good tooth we just pull the tooth can we watch everyone watch you yeah welcome to all new pull a tooth i'm rob low see who can watch the pain i guess all right well let's take some questions we we threatened to take questions from we gave a website.

35:46What is it, Heather? Odyssey? We're branching out in our new reboot. We'll see. If it goes well, we'll do more. We'll see if these questions are worth a shit. We want to know who you are. Let's see. Are they audio or are they... Hey guys, Dante Carter here. I don't know if you guys remember me, but I was on the podcast over a year ago. I did the Barack Obama impression. I'm back in my car. I'm going to pause again so David can make fun of me again for it.

36:13oh David by the way I want to say thanks for featuring me back then because I was able to pick up some stand-up gigs off of that I'll Venmo you your cut but I do have a question I just started a new podcast where I interview other entertainers while I'm on my way to and from my stand-up gigs and oh is that the logo how did that get there that's so embarrassing I'm sorry about that guys but I was wondering if you guys knew how to get better guests and how to grow that page. I'm really working on growing it. Uh, and if you guys have any advice on how to grow that page aside from getting on SNL and then making movies, they make millions because that's not happening for me right now.

36:51But if you guys have any suggestions on getting better guests, uh, and, and how to reach out to those guests and how to grow the page, that would be really great. Thanks guys. My first blink is go harder at the cowardly lion motif like that. it is a definite cowardly line from wizard of oz moti and go at that call yourself the lion maybe or get what someone looks like the tin man or get a dorothy co-host well oz never did nothing for the tin man that he didn't already have yeah i never got that who sang that i never got that but i i get it now the raspberries i don't know i did give nothing it wasn't bread bread or or something yeah i could think of it well this gentleman he does it in his car i don't are you allowed to do it in your car like that i don't think you're like well it's how he's gonna want to get guests in his car like they would zoom in and i don't know if they sit in the car or they're on the phone like maybe if he did on speakerphone maybe because you know in arizona there's a no touch phone law as of july 1st you can't even touch your phone if you're on a map or anything so just you can't have your phone so it would hurt his show but uh i don't think he's in california so okay i don't have great advice it's hard you know i i'd say get quirky guests if you're not getting famous people just get quirky weirdos because weirdos are funny right yeah yeah um jugglers started with weirdos and he you know you have like a snake wrangler whoever just somebody's got an interest someone in if you're going to a club in some small town you just talk to you know a guy in the street or a bartender anything like that i mean think of tom green or something back in the day yeah i think that's right make it quirky and different and then clip those things and throw them out all over the web but what was the name of it again it's called it accidentally popped up remember detour something heather you remember

39:03oh yeah well then it just said um okay on the road with dante carter it has to just be like a travel log of meeting quirky people yeah on on the road maybe they have sex in the back seat. Only if things are slowing down. Okay, that's a possibility like an OnlyFans. It all goes back to an OnlyFans. That's where the money is, my God. Okay, next question. I'll read the second question and the email is flyonthewall at odyssey.com. This is from Marie. Hi, Dana and David. I love your show. Here's a topic for Shaggy News. A military task force is sent to investigate the nuclear site in Iran. The team includes Scooby, Shaggy, Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Lorne Michaels, and Dennis Miller.

39:51Jesus. I guess I'll let you take this one, Danny. Take a sip and a bite of your banana. I still need Scoob in there. Oh, yeah. Okay, I'll be there. Okay. Who were the other three? Okay, I got you. Burt Lancaster, Dennis Miller, and Lorne Michaels. Well, geez, Scoob, I can't believe we're going back to Tehran. We got to see if Mount Fordo can still make a bomb. Right, Scoob? Hmm. Let's ask Dennis Miller. What do you think, Dennis? Mine isn't as thinky as yours. I don't have to do that much. Christ sakes. I mean, I don't know how you can top three bunker busters. You know, that's almost 100 ,000 pounds of TNT going in there.