From Busboys & Dishwashers to SNL + Let's End White People?

0:00Dana Carvey:David, I just want to say this to you. A good wardrobe isn't about quantity, it's about quality. And guess what? Quince nails that. Quince, they're lightweight cashmere sweaters, Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms, and 100 % Pima cotton tees are the versatile pieces I actually wear year after year. Oh, yeah. They cut out the middleman. You get premium fabrics without the retail markup. The cashmere is Mongolian. The cotton is a long staple. The linen is European jersey. Built to last and feel amazing. Everything is rated 4.5 to 5 stars for a reason. For me, those linen shorts are game changers.

0:42People get to see my pins. I've heard all about them. I got my sticks out. Yep. No wrinkles. Go with everything. Not crazy expensive. The cashmere polo looks luxe, feels great, wearing it constantly.

0:55Dana Carvey:That's fantastic. Stop filling your closet with options that don't work. Focus on a few pieces that actually do. Right now, go to quince.com slash fly for free shipping and 365-day returns. That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada too, so don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to quince.com for free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com. Listen up. I need your attention for a moment. Chevy Drive Chicago has a massive opportunity for you. They're giving you the chance to win the Chevy you actually want. There's no mystery here and no luck of the draw.

1:37Dana Carvey:Surprise, prize. You choose the Chevy. You pick it, you win it, and you drive it. Chevy's lineup is built for whatever the road throws at you. If you need a truck that's as dependable as they come, the Silverado is ready to work hard and play even harder. If you've been thinking about making the switch to electric, the Equinox EV makes it a seamless transition. Quiet, powerful, and big on tech features. From the capability of the Equinox to the striking design of the Blazer, there's a Chevy that fits your life perfectly. Whether you want gas or electric, the choice is entirely yours. Entering is simple.

2:09Dana Carvey:Just head to chevydrivechicago.com to sign up. While you're there, check out the Chevy Truck Month incentives and find your local dealer. Chevy Drive Chicago, official partner of the Chicago Bears. Don't just dream about it. Go win it at ChevyDriveChicago.com. And my line was, David, I s*** you not. I don't think even Daniel Day-Lewis could score this. I am jamming. I am jamming. Cut! That's good stuff. He's like, here's 20 bucks. I'm like, if you get on this mother effing f***ing roof in this summer in Arizona and do anything, If you just climb up the ladder, give me$20. I agree. I mean, um. We've got three people right now that agree.

2:48Me, you, and her.

2:49Dana Carvey:I mean, I'm not literally, you know, when you think about it, like, this is white. Am I white? No. I'm splotchy. No, they don't mean us. Do you have a problem with my hat? No, I like it. Well, what I found out was it's Reebok. Thank you. Thank you for your sponsor. but it's embedded. That's Reebok? Yeah, but you can't really see it. There you go. Oh, I kind of like that it's just black. It's like when Rob Lowe wore that one to the Super Bowl and said, it just said NFL on it. It just said like, he didn't want to pull for one side or the other and lose fans. Well, it's the thing I was doing before and this is really important for people um like your trucker hats like they'll sit tall on your head which is the way you want you don't want them like coming down you know and like this one i'm not going to wear working out so it gets all sweaty and mouth warm so it's kind of sitting more like a trucker hat anyway that's all i got on the hat that's a great way to start a great start we've we've gained millions of followers off that yes grab them at the top at least at least at least a hundred thousand well Well, my trucker hats, I want people to know that I know they mostly look stupid.

4:14Some look cool, but most of them look stupid. But I still want to wear them.

4:18Dana Carvey:I don't think they look stupid. Some are too high up and too jiffy pop, and I don't like that. Sometimes that's on purpose with people. I don't like it. Well, it is a look, right? You're not the only one, but you kind of are a little bit famous for wearing them. Well, sometimes my hair looks so bad, I'd rather just look dumber in a hat. It's a tough decision, but I do that. Oh, yeah. I mean, our, us as super - Jiffy Pop? Does he know? Does Greg know what Jiffy Pop means? What do you think? What do you know? Hmm. I'm going to say no. Oh, do people not know that because we're so old? Greg, do you know what Jiffy Pop is?

4:58Heather, you know what it is.

4:59Dana Carvey:Heather, do you know? She knows. Yeah, he does too. Oh, Greg says, of course. Okay, good. Okay, good. So, can I just ask a question? it's still in stores you can get it right it's still in stores i think it's so it's a flat aluminum pan and you go yeah and then it grows it's like a little made and sold today what is it made out of the well it's aluminum tin foil and the the popcorn is in there unpopped and you go like that and then it the funny part of the as a kid it would just grow grow grow grow and then popping on the inside yeah so the what i do now is i'll do spinach reverse jiffy pop so i put it in and it's gigantic and then the more i stir it with the olive oil and all the stuff i do it goes down into almost nothing we just got bigger on screen i just saw myself up close and it's a fucking rough ride so your anniversary is this week yes my anniversary yeah is this week yeah yeah what about it what do you got a point of view borderline personal yeah well you know 43 is not that exciting you know what do you do at 43 and what's up you know 43 is uh is that uh sandpaper what's what are you supposed to give someone at 43.

6:36Dana Carvey:I don't know she gave me a hug and said you're you're my favorite husband I go there's been others it's nice when you're at ease and it's not like I gotta go out and get this crazy presence all the time we just have you guys are both very cool people so it's a chill vibe yeah we might go see housemates because she hasn't seen it i'm not saying it's the greatest i'm just saying it's entertaining i will say i yeah go ahead i want to i i want to ask you a question in terms of the gore factor when they're doing stuff do you think it's still kind of not horror show it's still slightly funny even though there's some stuff that's like that you know yes i went saw it since our last podcast and paul feig yeah our buddy was on the show yeah and he was here to talk about housemates so i felt like as my duty not to say before we interview him like a normal joining the marines okay go ahead as my duty yeah civic duty um to see sydney sweeney late naked i said i should go see paul's movie and like amanda siegfried which yeah i stay wrong great and and there's a guy that's the lead in who i don't know but very good looking anyway we should we should get his name heather greg could you look up the name of the male lead because he's he's awfully good and he's been around in a lot of stuff but let's make him a household name with the numbers we're getting we'll make them a household yeah overnight uh so i saw it and i thought it was it had some humor and i don't think it's really a gory horror film those moments but i didn't really think that i just thought it was one of those i mean it's paul feek who's done so many he's a comic and he's in so many comedies that aside from even bridesmaids uh that he was How do you say his name?

8:31Dana Carvey:Brandon Sklenor? Why did we even try? I don't know. We fucking ruined it. It just popped up and went away. Sklenor. It's S-K-E-L. Sklenor. Sklenor. Oh, like Sklenor. Heather confidently says it possibly wrong. Sklenor. Brandon Sklenor. All the acting is great. It's just one of those fun movies of someone going into a house that's dysfunctional and sort of a thriller, like what's going to happen. There's violence a little, but it doesn't lean on it. There's sexual themes. There's sexual themes, yeah. It's Sydney Sweeney. It's in her contract. And she's really good too. What's interesting about her as a casual fan, she can really mouse herself down.

9:22Dana Carvey:She can be sort of the girl next door kind of playing. Or she could go full bling and do the other thing. So she's got a wide, you know, I thought she the only surprising thing to me, she's obviously very cute. She played it very under the whole thing. She wasn't like over the top or anything like that. She was very, which I liked. And Amanda and obviously and she's great actress. Yeah. And the guy who is kind of the Brandon, you agents say to change your name just to make it easier like brandon boxcar would have been better i'd remember it boom got it brandon brandon rackham brandon rackham ricky rackham yeah ricky rackham but uh it you don't know if something's silent with it s-k-l-e-n-a-r because if if it's it's slender but you got the k in there so anyway he's awfully good so you know it's paul feig our buddy are you know a really good friend he's a director uh he's the director of the film and it does start and it starts and ends with him i mean he is directing it and they he got great performances and it's it's just a fun movie i don't want to say it's like gone with the wind or apocalypse now but it's awfully entertaining if i have to say one criticism am i allowed yes a hair lengthy but that's my overall problem with a lot i would say without giving it away is that you're right so its third act was kind of elongated because it does have some things you don't see coming and so when you a normal thriller movie like that would end at point whatever this one does extend but when it's extending it's full of twists and turns you don't see coming or is there doing a sequel also are you starting to get it i'm starting to get it and the more you break it down the more i sort of understand that's something i've said to john lovitz i know i've already said that starting to get it i like we put that one down a squinch we run a multi-million dollar operation over here dana this we put millions into this what do you There you go.

11:43Thank you.

11:45Dana Carvey:We should call this podcast Brown Door. The Brown Door Diaries. The Brown Door Diaries. I know people say, hey, that podcast is great if you're a fucking woodpecker. Well, that's why I'm going full woodsy and I'm going black, red, black. You're Woodsy Owl. Remember Woodsy Owl? You know what he did? You know what his phrase was? No. who give a hoot don't pollute oh to give a hoot don't pollute okay what did uh smoky the bear say there's more to woodsy owl he had a song oh okay woodsy spread the word never be a dirty bird in the city or in the land on the land help keep america looking grand fuck yeah what he was a bit of a star in the day that was cool smoky the bear scared the shit out of me because i'm like four years old i'm watching tv by myself suddenly this cartoon bear points at me and says only you can prevent forest fires i go dana only me i weigh 30 pounds how am i gonna smother it out you know only you dana why are you still sitting there only you and david spade and that was weird i think that he mentioned your name even before i met you know david people keep asking about my 2026 resolutions yes they do i've been one of them you i know what you're trying to say the people keep asking about your 2026 resolutions and i've got the usual ones uh read more or read it all hit the gym hit the gym learn how to crochet get the knitting needles out of the closet yeah but this year the goal at the very top of my list is simple get comfy i've learned that from abby yeah and that's exactly where bombas comes in they're bringing next level comfort to uh my everyday essentials take the new bombas sports socks they're designed with sport specific comfort for everything from running hiking golf that's what i do skiing and i know you want to get back into running they got some i would really want to get back into running honestly for sure I do a lot of hiking.

13:57Yeah, they're cushioned right where you need it most. Sweat wicking? That's good. Is that good?

14:04Dana Carvey:Yeah, it keeps the sweat away. Packs with tech that keeps you comfortable and locked in. So comfy socks. It's a great idea. So for everyday around the house resolutions, Bombas has the comfiest footwear imaginable. I've been living in their Sherpa Sunday slippers. for things like weekend resets when i'm spring cleaning when i'm just doing this and that around the house honestly they look very squishy and uh you wouldn't know this but it's like walking on clouds underneath it all bombas yeah underwear and t-shirts yeah david they're flexible breathable and buttery smooth plus for every item you buy one is donated to someone facing housing insecurity head over to bombers.com flywall and use code flywall for 20 off your first purchase that's b-o-m-b-a-s.com flywall code flywall at checkout this episode is brought to you by state farm listening to this podcast smart move being financially savvy smart move another smart move having state farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor state farm is there prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state dana this is a good transition because yeah let's transition this is the one year of the forest fires in la one year where was smoky where were you you could have fixed it now nothing to be joking about but it is the year anniversary it's all over the news i remember we were starting bus boys 2029 coming in 2030 after the next four avatars you'll see a preview to bus boys and chico california drive-in a special screening one screen only and one speaker that fits in your driver's side window it's getting there i know it's it's i'm working on the music theo's working on the special effects we don't have that many it's not i like it is there going to be a robot in it i don't know it's so dumb like no i don't know what it is we have rabbits and it's you and him it's it's it's you bake the cake it's a it's light summer fair so good we need aside from the heat around busboys there was heat in la and in a year later there's so much chaos about it literally nothing went right i mean they're still not building that many things they uh oh yeah i wrote down something that takes time i don't know how they it's just so sad oh well well the big trick was a hundred million dollars was raised in a fire benefit with huge acts you mean rock yeah yeah remember that benefit yeah made a lot going directly to the victims so so far nothing has gone to the victims so that was a big problem where is it with the somalis in minneapolis it got funneled they go you're good with money you guys can handle this yeah you're good yeah just give it to you guys you know what you're doing yeah yeah so that's frustrating for everyone to say the least.

17:47And I don't even know what NGOs do, but it went into little funds where they decided what to do with it. And sometimes that goes into some red tape and different things and salaries, and it doesn't quite get to the people. So now they're going to build some of it for low income housing, which I mean, kind of makes sense. It's not what everyone wanted that lived there but i get why they do that stuff um and but but not doing permits like they're not

18:16Dana Carvey:really helping people rebuild quickly um it's very tricky i don't know the minutia of it but first of all it's like all the wires and the gas lines and all that and then it's just getting all the debris out while keeping that stuff intact and then actually breaking ground and starting to build and then certain neighborhoods are completely decimated so you try to do it all at once you're bringing in water i i know it's complicated and i don't know what but where the hundred million what is a good question because that always helps you should know how to fix it all right okay so you clear the houses out you get all the electrical and water really really good and then you you bring in a lot of wood and a lot of carpenters and a lot of stuff well you go and you design the homes and then you build the homes.

19:08Right. Well, Labor Day, it's done.

19:13Dana Carvey:That's, that's what I'm thinking. Uh, Altadena, Palisades, Malibu, you know, so I told you I used to have a house there fully fucking toast, fully just in crumbs. Um, but yeah. Okay. Joke about it. Cause people we're not, we're not trying to joke. We're a comedy show. joking uh about the tragedy we're just we're kind of we're frustrated like everyone else that there's not more progress being made well because then then here come it's like the same broader problem with people paying taxes in california when they're building a hundred billion dollar train to sacramento san francisco area said i don't know if everyone's clamoring for it when you could take 10 billion and probably fix a lot of problems in California, but they keep pushing this 10 year thing about the train.

20:02That's just one of the crazy things. The homeless, they lose 20 billion, but they want more money for it. That's why people get tired of paying taxes and going, well, what are you doing? Gavin Newsom just vetoed a bill asking for an audit of where the money for homeless goes. He said, not a chance. You're not going to see that.

20:21Dana Carvey:Well, I don't think anyone could disagree with this there are states i don't have them off hand who basically you go to their website and they tell you where all the money's going yeah line by line maybe it's thousands of pages a year but you can see where it's going so when there's he's behind the curtain don't pay attention to gavin you know it's a little bit frustrating because you go you can't ask for more i mean if someone's if you're if you're in a household and someone's blowing all the money you go, what are you spending it on? Don't worry about it. Just give us more money. You go, well, I'd like to see some, something.

20:59And if it's fixing homeless, great, but don't just take it and then be like, homeless has gotten worse. You go, but you just, yeah.

21:06Dana Carvey:Excuse me, Gavin Newsom. Excuse me. Could we ask where the 20 billion went? That's a great question, but no. Garth, I'm sorry. That was Garth asking. It was guards, a little bit of guards. I told Wayne I'd ask, I'm just wondering if you know where the$20 billion went. We're looking into it, but right now we don't have any answers. But my main message to you is just ride around in your AMC Pacer and get some red rope lick race because we ain't telling you diddly squat. Red rope. I could probably go through$20 billion on DraftKings during the playoffs because I'm so bad at betting. yeah i've heard i've heard that about you and i said no i'm not gonna spread when i tell people i won a hundred dollars and i brag i don't mention i lost 900 no one ever does that they always talk about their wins here's what i want and everyone goes oh man you're you're living the high life i know i know what i'm doing i took the algo actually if i was smart i would bet and use chat GPT or use whatever just to say what are the best odds of the best teams and players and do it that way.

22:23Dana Carvey:Someone bet a lot of money because you can bet on anything. And I don't know if it was a Bitcoin site or something like that, but they made a bet where you're gambling that Trump, that Madeira would no longer be in power by like January 31st or whatever the date was. And they made the bet like three hours before they started the mission. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I know that's the inside info. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. They said it was a guy. His last name was Hex this, but he didn't know what. No, I'm kidding. They have a predictive. This is the best invention. Predictive gambling. So it's not gambling. You're predicting the future.

23:05Dana Carvey:Predicting events. Yeah, it's not like. You think Avatar will make over a billion dollars. And you say, okay, I'm betting$100. And they can do that legally, and you're not sports betting. It's some loophole, and those stocks are skyrocketing. Yeah, you can bet about anything. You could bet how long will Avatar be in theaters. Yeah. Yeah. Will David, when is the next time David Spade will wear a blue sweatshirt on the podcast? You could bet that. When will... uh dana stop talking about housemaid what year

23:43Dana Carvey:i can switch to marty supreme anytime you want what decade will busboys come out was busboys ever actually real yes was busboys will we find out busboys was never shot it was just you and theo in a room laughing your asses all that i think everyone's gonna think that we got made a movie no i could uh okay i saw the pit last night because it's all the rage oh the pit this fucking doctor show you know about it it's actually really good it's a that's a bit gory but it's actually oh they do they show like operations and legs and things and yeah it's last night i was watching what's up doc what's the one where it's a female doctor o 'neil no it's It's called doc.

24:33No, it's just called doc, but it's exactly the pit. I mean, a doctor show, gray's anatomy. They all have a hook. I don't know what this one is. It might be, she goes in the past and remembers something from 10 years ago, but it's just the same thing. A guy has a problem. Oh, are they related? Let's get 10 CCS of ringers lactate. And so that's all it is, is a fast moving hospital. And then the problems of the doctors, but what is the pit? Is that what that is?

24:59Dana Carvey:It just, at least the first episode just takes place in the most radically packed hospital emergency ward. So it's no move, move, move coming through. Yeah. Coming through. He's got a leg. And then they're like, get it. C five, four, seven, four. Hematoma. Hematoma. Lava scene. We need some liposine. Rhino four set. C, C, C clear. Okay. Patient is, but you know, I mean, it's very detailed, but it moves really fast and it's like ER. Heather, the name of the lead, sorry. It's Noah Wiley, right? Yeah. Was it Wiley or Wiley? Wiley because he's from ER. Yeah, and he's great. The acting's great and everything is great.

25:39He's doing ER again, everyone. It's ER again.

25:41Dana Carvey:But with live streaming kind of gore. Is it all in one day? Yeah, I think so. I think so. But I don't know if the whole show is like that. Just the first episode. Yeah. I don't want to give this away about busboys, but it's all in two hours. It's just a reality show. We just all, it's two hours in the day of a busboy. Well, as far as medical shows, and I don't know if this is true, because this is very successful. I guess Hulu's going to do one about an extremely handsome doctor called Brad Pitt. So. Oh, there's the Pitt and there's Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is just a show about a really handsome doctor.

26:22It's a guy named Brad Pittsburgh. by the way is is the pit because of pittsburgh no they call it the pit and he gets in trouble

26:33Dana Carvey:i don't know because he he just says it's the suckiest place on earth i think unless i miss well maybe it is part of pittsburgh you're right and they call it welcome welcome to the pit you know so the first day they go you're new here welcome to dog shit town right and the they have these interns following around and they have to see all this gore and blood and everything and one of them passes out and stuff like that well if you're if here's inside hollywood stupid if you're pitching a show to netflix or one of the networks yeah the show runner is probably the most important if you're going to do a show like this they will buy it off a show runner so if you're doing comedy and you go tina faye's gonna produce it and write it with me blah blah they're looking at that more than the star you would like a star attached or one or two but they want a whole package because i think anyone can walk in and say what about a crazy hospital where it's very fast moving but who takes care of the doctors and their problems and then everyone goes oh and so that's a very general idea but you get the guy that did er you get this and you get know a while and you get some super smart people and a great director that knows how to shoot that shit because it's very hard and the actors have to be that dialogue is flying and you can't and they're they're all good so somewhere in in the that the chain of command the producer the director the writers and the actors said let's make a next level hospital emergency room show yeah where it's what's the next version that people will be yeah and it's very it's very compelling i have to say you know i bet er would look slow right now because it was great at the time but what's next what are we doing what's tick tock what everything's got to go faster yeah everything everything's faster they don't have commercials you know just bam bam bam bam so with with you know thank you with er it'd be like damn it we need some oxygen stat and now a word from kellogg's cornflakes you know right in the middle so well you might not know this data you know a lot about people don't remember commercials go ahead but i did a spin-off of facts of life which is an old show oh you and i played a med student well wait a minute 25 grand it was so juicy what was it called it was a factor life spinoff pilot was it called fenster hall no it's called the little pit i worked at a hospital and no i worked at a hospital and richard rico was on this like i'm giving away my age he let's go back to 1959 it was natalie from facts life it was mickey rooney's a child no i'm not that old it was natalie from facts life right and she spun off where she moved to new york and then she has roommates and she lives with a bunch people i'm one of them i'm a doctor i'm a med student greek go and it's a great looking pilot so i did the pilot and in the pilot i have to come home i'm the goofball but then at the end i'm on the balcony and like a little fan on me like this she's like what's wrong i'm like i lost one today and it's like first patient i lost and it's really moving anywhere in nature I'm sadly, I think so.

29:58And then we'll play it next week. And then I lost the patient and then I kind of lost the show for it. I think my acting really, there's no golden globe going on. And the guy that was the good looking kid immediately when that didn't get picked up, got his own show called Booker and he went on for five seasons as a super stud.

30:19Dana Carvey:It's always humiliating. You walk in, you're reading for something and then you see 10 guys that kind of look like you and you go no one has a chin they're pretty short they're kind of cute what are all these other squids doing here no it's like oh so this is how if you walk in everyone's muscled up and like six five you kind of know you're in the right place you know the worst times i've gone in for like the good looking guy you know dana mostly i go for hunk parts yeah so it goes this uh local hunk surfer walks in and i'm in the room with all these goodling guys going I hope to God we're not all reading for the same thing.

30:56And they're like, what are you reading for? He doesn't have like a dopey friend. And I go, no, I'm the guy, man. Surf's up. And they're like, yeesh. I go, we're reading all five scenes. They go, we're just going to read one line from one. That's all we need today. That is a trick in an audition. There's five scenes you memorize all night. It's impossible. You get in, you got them all ready. You read the first scene and they go, thank you. i go well there's four other ones i'm really good in the fourth one it's the best one good

31:27Dana Carvey:i think we have our answer well i would eventually i realized i had no power because i wasn't on tv but they were sending me out to audition a lot so then what i would do was i would never have a picture so i'd be the guy with no eight by ten because that seemed kind of weak here's my photo so i also would crumple the script up and put it in my back pocket even though i'd studied it and made my choices i bring it out like what is this again good again yeah but you know what are you doing all this i read for paul newman you know and joanne woodward i tested for amadeus i did a pilot with Seinfeld guy, Michael Richards.

32:11You wanted to play Charlie Chaplin's friend.