In short
The hosts trade travel-and-production horror stories (especially hotels and flights), then pivot through comedy bits and news-style segments. A recurring question is whether “Spade” is David Spade’s real last name, and they also discuss celebrity/entertainment items (e.g., Grown Ups 3, RDJ, Zendaya, streaming releases, and name changes).
Guests/backgrounds
No guest is clearly identified as an interviewee. David Spade is the main speaker; Dana is the co-host. Heather is mentioned as part of the production team (hair/gray testing, handling logistics). “Cam from Busboys” and “Tony Hale” are referenced, but not as in-studio guests.
Key claims
A hotel room smelled strongly of embalming fluid/formaldehyde; staff acknowledged the issue and offered a room change. The flight included delays, stormy conditions, a diversion/refuel, and a long period of silence on the runway. They joke that Spade is not David Spade’s real last name.
Notable examples
“Stink bomb” in the shower drain; lights flickering then failing; refueling/taxi delays; horse-stud farm neighbor noise; “Turtle Club” bit; bullying comeback coaching; Katy Perry stuck in a giant bottle; Brad Pitt’s daughter changing her last name.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTravel Tales and Hotel Woes
0:00 to 1:20
Dana shares humorous anecdotes about his hotel experiences while filming.
“August is a good time to reset your wardrobe.”
Travel Tales and Hotel Woes
1:40 to 3:06
Dana shares humorous anecdotes about his hotel experiences while filming.
“Now starting at$699 with exclusive student pricing starting at$599.”
Hair and Grooming Battles
3:06 to 3:56
A light-hearted discussion about grooming challenges and hair color debates.
“Second of all, I know a path for you to look like this.”
Grown-Ups 3 Production Insights
3:56 to 5:03
Details about filming Grown-Ups 3, including wardrobe testing and challenges.
Hotel Horror Stories
5:03 to 10:24
More humorous tales about bizarre hotel experiences and strange smells.
“You and Heather will set it up in a hallway, a phone booth, so just don't.”
The Horse Situation
10:24 to 14:00
A funny recount of horse drama involving a new stud and emotional sounds.
“not one fucking instant room in my life.”
Discussion on Horses and Emotions
14:00 to 17:04
Explore the emotional capacity of horses and their relationship with humans.
“It is actually a new, a new, a new, a new dad.”
Flight Experience and Comedy
19:51 to 25:18
Hear a humorous account of a challenging flight and the pilot's comedic attempts.
Movie Production Insights
25:18 to 28:00
Insights into the movie production process and interactions with the director.
“So you think you have a break and then there's just this.”
Oppenheimer Jokes and Movie References
28:00 to 28:59
Dana and David share humorous takes on movie references and characters.
Show all 25 chapters
Iron Man and School Stories
29:00 to 30:25
Discussion about Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man and a funny school story.
“I personally don't love Bobby Downey I know I love Robert Downey Jr.”
Streaming Services and New Releases
30:26 to 31:08
The hosts discuss various streaming services and upcoming releases.
“If you have a second home in New York, he wants you to pay more tax.”
Billionaires and Taxation
31:09 to 32:56
Conversation about billionaires, taxes, and public reaction to wealth.
“I think it was a bit of a stumble to post online all the people that have second homes and their addresses.”
Fauci and the Fifth Amendment
32:57 to 35:34
The hosts joke about Tony Fauci and legal rights surrounding testimonies.
“Everybody's a chef, but you, David Spade, I loved your stink bomb story in the hotel room because I needed some sleep.”
Greta Thunberg and Comedy Ideas
35:35 to 38:15
Discussion about Greta Thunberg and ideas for comedic sketches.
“and the recommendation was this little choke and puke down the street and they go, it's great.”
Greta Thunberg and Comedy Ideas
40:12 to 40:30
Discussion about Greta Thunberg and ideas for comedic sketches.
“Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, blue freezer pop classic.”
Dinner Scenarios with Tony Fauci
40:31 to 42:00
Dana creates a humorous dinner scenario involving Tony Fauci.
“I don't know if it's - Please don't think it's real at home.”
Comedic Bits and Redneck Character
42:00 to 44:53
Dana and David share humorous sketches and explore a redneck character.
“They said, we got to amputate your left foot.”
Comedic Bits and Redneck Character
44:57 to 46:19
Dana and David share humorous sketches and explore a redneck character.
“Spark a taste flavor sensation with Firework Freeze.”
Comedic Bits and Redneck Character
47:58 to 49:09
Dana and David share humorous sketches and explore a redneck character.
“options always seem to slow me down with endless friction like playing phone tags just to chase down the status of an international wire transfer.”
Travel Stories and Jokes
49:20 to 56:00
Dana and David share travel experiences and humorous news stories.
“I think you're doing it after hearing your story.”
Childhood Memories and Sibling Rivalries
56:00 to 1:00:44
Dana and David share humorous stories from their childhoods, highlighting sibling antics.
“It definitely, I don't like being held down.”
Tom Cruise's Daughter Changes Last Name
1:00:44 to 1:01:24
The hosts discuss the implications of Tom Cruise's daughter changing her last name for her acting career.
The Real Last Name Debate
1:01:24 to 1:02:55
David answers whether 'Spade' is his real last name while reminiscing about their live shows.
“I took a picture of somebody because I thought it was funny.”
Wrapping Up and Thanking the Fans
1:02:55 to 1:03:24
Dana and David express gratitude to their audience and tease future episodes.
“But I want to look up in the lens like a normal person.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00August is a good time to reset your wardrobe. Everybody knows this. It's before the busy autumn rush, Dana. And that kicks in. My favorite place to buy and upgrade my closet is Quince. They're all about high quality, sustainable essentials built to last and designed for everyday wear. They specialize in timeless staples that work harder for you.
0:22Dana Carvey:Ultra soft organic cotton teas, premium Mongolian cashmere. I like a little charcoal gray cashmere Krunix sweater put it on repeat, take it with me on the run. I was blown away by how thick, soft, juicy and luxurious the knit feels it fits perfectly, easily transitions from a casual day at my desk to a nice din din I like everything I'm hearing if you're still hanging on to worn out basics, Quince makes it incredibly easy to elevate your style with premium denim and tailored chinos starting at just$60. They managed to keep prices 50 % to 80 % lower than similar luxury brands by working directly with the ethical factories and cutting out the middleman entirely.
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2:16Dana Carvey:Well, wait a minute. Are you in a best Western? I'm in a worst Eastern. It's great that you have Oppenheimer jokes. three years later. Do we have any Odyssey jokes? So the flight lasts 13 hours, and then you have a stink bomb in the hotel. You try to get a bite to eat. The grill's 50 or so. Is that what you're saying? That's a good summary, Piers. You're in a hotel, and you're going to move again, or what? Yeah, I'll tell the fans. Hey, fans. or whoever struggles through the pot. This is... Tell them what's going on because this looks like something happened. This is real life, guys. Like a natural disaster.
3:06Are we skimming over? Your fucking hair looks good.
3:10Dana Carvey:Well, is it... Do you want me to send you the product? I mean, send me everything. Everything involved with it. Well, first of all, don't be jealous. Second of all, I know a path for you to look like this. i have a path i'm definitely pathless and i need some pathogens so here's what happened i am in a hotel which is perfectly nice out here in grown-ups you're filming grown-ups three let's just say it i got here early they like to get you here way early yeah we have yeah but we're doing a bunch of testing and a bunch of this and that wardrobe and stuff showbiz lingo don't let me lose you i was lost when you brought them we started when you saw where i was why just because it looks like there's been some mild seismic activity or something like i'm in a bomb shelter my hair has been fussed with all day oh okay so they've been that's why it doesn't look as good as yours necessarily but it is hard when you're in there and they're like okay are you doing chris because i'm dealing with his his gray hair and the grayness of it we're trying to figure out what level of gray i'm like guys it's blonde and then everyone's like it's what you don't are they talking about you yeah they're like you don't think your hair's blonde i yeah yeah i do and they're like whoa a lot of yes men around you well what was the what was the general hair color and grown-ups too grown-ups too let's go to the tape it's blonde but you know yeah we're trying to really recreate memories and moments and magic anyway all this fussing and fighting and now we get through it but so far so good the hotel is the funny part there's two funny parts the hotel i'm not a complainer dana i would never complain you never complain i've never heard you complain so this is this is really gonna be new and you know i think i don't know if you got therapy or what happened but this is my attitude toward that dana be fair i no actually be this is that a boo no it was more like ah happy was not a boo i was trying to get clapping but i fucked up anyway it happened we'll fix it in post it's already fixed we've got a couple post days scheduled for this podcast before so you're gonna be on this grown-ups movie for let's give the fans a little bit of that go pull the curtain back i would say november so you're you're gonna be from these kind of weird institutional rooms, cafeterias.
6:03Dana Carvey:Yeah. You and Heather will set it up in a hallway, a phone booth, so just don't. Right. Yeah. It's on the run. It's part of the charm. So the charming part is in my shower, you know how they spray like renews it or something on the carpets to keep it smelling like it's nice. Yeah. They try chemicals. Yeah. And it's a little toxic. And sometimes it's a little chemically toxic. Mean well. They mean so well. But I also have a stuffed dead body in my drain of my shower, I think, that's soaking in formaldehyde. And what do you shoot the body? You have to keep one after people die. Wait a minute. Formaldehyde.
6:52Formaldehyde. And there's another thing I had said today. Wait a minute.
6:56Dana Carvey:Are you in a Best Western? I'm in a worst eastern
7:03Dana Carvey:Well Heather's the loudest she's ever been I love that I know We popped a cork with that one I don't get booed on that That was a good one No
7:16Dana Carvey:Embalming fluid Okay got it So you live in a place where it smells like There's a dead person in the drain of the bathtub Right so in the shower So I open the door for the shower and it's like a wafty wave of like oh so i obviously i'm sickened by it but i think oh they put too much of that renews it spray or whatever what is it yeah i know the thing yeah for breeze why is it in here like they clean it with clorox i go it's too strong i'm very sensitive And so I said, guys, it's so then the second day I couldn't stand taking a shower. So I go, Heather, stick your honker in there. See, my what, sir?
8:01What's going on? And smell it. And she was like, like, obviously, I got a nose for news. But this was she's confirmed it blew her back. Like it blew her back out. yeah and now wow it blew her back like in those old uh atomic bomb movies so then we call the manager and he's like i will come up to the nuclear testing site i want to show you something he opens it he's like embalming forward it really just gets in your faculties so anyway i don't want to sleep in this room but i might change hotels anyway and then i go well i want to change at least this room such a prima donna and you know production they're like oh my god what's what's the latest problem like it's really nothing but even you guys wouldn't stay here but i'm staying here too long because i finally am shipping to a different room after
9:14Dana Carvey:this after this podcast did did they acknowledge the smell like when they came in he oh and so is this grot grot of grab are they going to pay for this gratis is that the word no i don't know if it's gratis but they're gonna let me switch rooms and they've been very nice and then i shut the shower door and then the big reveal was they go we have any person clean it they clean scrub scrub don't really know what they're cleaning i took out all the shampoos because i thought one might be accidentally filled with febreze so i took them all out put them by the door and then that night i opened the shower i wasn't ready because the shower door is always open it must be coming from the drain because it had built up to it was oh well also the lights don't work but well that's ghosts oh the lights flickered then they just went off and then they don't work at all and so this is you okay Heather I'll talk to you later I'm just gonna I'm just gonna check it out my room I'm boxed into the not one fucking instant room in my life.
10:29God, this really feels like a documentary
10:32Dana Carvey:shot in some kind of war zone. I've got this couch here about that. You're a correspondent. Anyway, I'm here on the front effing lines to get that five hour in there. It's a miracle that you pulled this together. Howard's so, I mean, Heather is so professional. She kept all the five hours in the box so they're super heavy so I'm lugging them around going, this should just be the you seen the shell the casing i uh yeah we don't want to we can cut this part out because you well yeah you want to actually use the product so it'll get lighter took them all out to drink them i mean these i know i have in my socks right now okay other than that give me some horror stories then i'll tell you my flight i don't know if you can handle that part either that's quicker yeah If that was people go, do you only tell stories about hotels and flights?
11:30I'm like, Nope. And then here I am. Exactly. Those two check.
11:33Dana Carvey:Cause we were the wife and I were in a five really big, big time Vegas hotel. Ooh. Oh, we give you a special suite, you know, I'm working doing, they walk you up, they show you around. I give you the special suite. You know, there's a pool table there. It's unbelievable. Stinkaroo. Just like you had it. Oh, there's a stink. Yeah. It was like this. I checked the room. All right. And then I went,
12:07Dana Carvey:but they came up with Febreze. And then they said, don't flash. Don't flush too often. The toilet that they come up that way. And this is like 3000 a night for the room. Yeah. Jesus. No, it was part of the gig. Whoops. Right, I got it. Those are nice. They take care of you. So what happened that was very dramatic here? I don't know. You can make the jokes, but Jose came with a trailer, and he took the mom and the baby away to get them used to the trailer, we thought. Yeah, Magrosa. And by the way, the little colt has six official names. because I found out horses don't know their names. Oh, that's true.
12:55Dana Carvey:Yeah. So it's either some say San Francisco, some say whatever. But then the older quarter horse went crazy when the two friends left. Oh, no. How long are they going for? Just for the stripping session? Well, actually, we thought it was to acclimate the cult to going around a trailer, but they did go over and it was the stud of the valley. I know. She had the baby like three weeks ago. I was the first one to say it. I said, she's not ready. She's not ready to date. Yeah, she's not ready. I mean, she's still thinking about the other guy. But anyway, so this was going on and it was all over the valley was this sound of the horse from behind.
13:43Dana Carvey:Oh, no, really? For an hour. we had neighbors calling. Are you okay? Your horse is just going crazy. So, you know, and then the other horse came back, Magrosa, and she had kind of a smile on her face. I don't know what happened. Is it the same dude or is it a new one? It, do you, you need to know. It is actually a new, a new, a new, a new dad. Yeah. A new stud. There's, it's called a stud farm. And, um, You're familiar with that, right? I mean, I like that the kid's doing an episode of My Two Dads now. That's a good reference. How far back does that go? That's going back. That's like - No, was that Tom Hanks?
14:32Dana Carvey:No, or it was - Paul Reiser? Yeah, Paul Reiser. Were they gay? What was the story? I don't remember. I mean, she had two dads. Yes. Maybe it was. My Two Dads. That sounds like it makes the most sense. Yeah, yeah. 90s. Or there was a widow or something. There's always a widow. Let's look at a clip. No, we don't have the clip? I just won a poly market. Let's look at a clip as a good bet. In the first 15 minutes or under, I just won$15 ,000. No, people take me serious. But anyway. The horse went away. The other one cried and it came back. That's my story. That's good. so the other horse isn't freaking out.
15:17Dana Carvey:And then the horse was just super happy. Yeah. So it obviously was related to the horse. Oh, totally. You kind of think they're just like, because they'll just stand in a field for like 11 hours staring and not moving. But it really missed the horses. Then as soon as they came back, it was all calm again. So they do have emotions, David. I think they like their usual situation and you kind of upset the apple cart a bit. Well, they don't know. they have an IQ of two or two and a half. So they don't realize that the horses are coming back and they could be back in a day. It would seem like 30 years.
15:55Dana Carvey:Right. And then if the horses go out again, they don't realize that yesterday they went out. They don't remember that. So Rojo was really upset again. Wait, what are some of the new horse names and then we'll move on. San Francisco is in the running. That's a long one. Yeah, that's a long one. People like Dusty. Oh, yeah, I like Dusty. I remember. Whitney suggested Dusty, too. I know. So Whitney may be the winner. I mean, right now, there's six names. I'm not sure. Did you or Heather introduce a name? I'm just asking. Spudley? Well, one of the names, the original name was David Spade. I know, but that's not going to get that horse in the...
16:43Dana Carvey:respect but the horse doesn't know its name so as far as we know they know they know us they see us and they they love us don't be jealous
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17:37Dana Carvey:Now I get the feeling crawling into bed is the best part of my day because the fabric actually gets softer every time I wash it. It completely transformed how I rest. Upgrade your sleep with Bowlin Branch. Get 15 % off your first order plus free shipping at bowlinbranch.com slash fly with code fly. That's BollandBranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D-B-R-A-N-C-H. Dot com slash fly. Code fly to unlock 15 % off. Exclusions apply. You know those classic tri-colored freezer pops we used to fight over during the scorching summer days? Well, the genius folks at 5-Hour Energy just did something incredible. They completely reimagined that absolute freezer pop classic.
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19:00Dana Carvey:It is honestly amazing how they capture that exact taste. But here is the absolute best part about it. You get to enjoy that iconic freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. So you don't have to worry about any of the guild or massive sugar crash later on. It's the perfect portable pocket size summer companion to spark a tasty flavor sensation. and give you that quick, reliable energy boost wherever you go, all without melting in the heat like the old school treats. Right, David? I'm hooked. Listen, you will be too. Hook you up. Ignite those taste buds with a firework freeze flavored five-hour energy shot, now available online at fivehourenergy.com or Amazon.
19:51Well, I will tell you about the flight now that you're trying to pull it out of me.
19:55Dana Carvey:So okay So you're Okay you're flying Across the country A few days ago Going to New Jersey Yes Cute flight Not as far Going that way One hour shorter Yep I like that LA to New York So we get there Plus I have a ton of bags Because you know Yeah It's just It's gonna be a while You're a movie star Going to make Shoot a big giant Hollywood movie I was telling you I'm a movie star no one was listening so oh my hair's shorter too so anyway i go go go we get there they go we get all the way in the plane pilot comes out okay guys you know the feeling if there's a comedian on they juice it up a bit and the guy thinks he's on america's got talent oh no yep he comes and the pilot goes i'll do this one he goes okay folks first of all the first thing he says is oh we're gonna be about an hour late they're keeping us here in the runway about an hour we're gonna go to new jersey blah blah and i'm like you can't just throw in there with no remorse we're gonna be an hour late we're not taking off for an hour and he was too much joie de vivre and c 'est la vie and i was like uh-huh so immediately i'm mad at him and then he goes well we're gonna be heading to newark uh stopping in bangkok and his eyes dart to me and i'm like gong you're not going to hollywood sir i you know what i mean he thinks he's gonna get the golden buzzer on that dog shit he's got these jokes you know that they that they go oh yeah the standard yeah but then they go i gotta rev it up because there's a comedian here i'll give him the a plus material and i'm like that's your good stuff that's your closer well he's he's in the cockpit though right doing this he's out he walked out oh he's out with the thing going okay sorry i missed that and so he's doing stand-up basically in front of you he like took it from the person yeah said i got this i got hey ladies and germs he goes ladies and germs and then does he look does he look at you he looks at me hey germ no that's that's a big laugh line i'm supposed to be like you know like i'm a scout in the audience yeah he doesn't understand yeah there's any so hilarious also then we go and it's so stormy and bumpy you'd hate it then we land i've been in those flights yeah we're circling heather's like we're circling can you tell him like no it makes me sick oh in new jersey then we land but we land in dullness like die hard well wait a man you were but you're supposed to too stormy you divert you divert to dulles again you put a fine point on it you made it very clear well you don't just end up i mean it's planned hopefully not that they said we gotta divert we're going to dulles and i thought we were landing in new jersey i'm like ah snap so i go Oh, that is a drag.
23:02Dana Carvey:You don't even have to make a story out of this one. And then we go, we're going to taxi, refuel, and get out of here. We taxi for maybe 30 minutes. Then glug, glug, glug, glug, refueling. And now, how long would I think it would take to refuel? So they're up there kicking and scratching. I don't like that. Having the time of their lives. We're all dead silent. They're like, ha ha. By the way, please don't get up. Please don't stand up. Don't do anything. We're on the runway. then they're goofing around juggling up there and i'm like can i stand up an inch like sit down get fucked so then after tickling and playing twister i finally go hey any word on the gas the guy goes yep we're gonna get right out of here after it's gassed up i go when's that they go when it's done i go when's that and he goes pretty soon what i'll kill you does anyone else talk on the airplane but you it feels like you're alone on the airplane i was close to the front is there anyone else to me like bruce willis like you're the boss dude do something jeez i you're the toughest one why would they what so they're gonna refuel to get you to new jersey like a 20 minute flight we're gonna take a sip of gas because you didn't run out going to even shorter than where we were going.
24:25But I'm not dumb. Something doesn't smell right. Yeah, that's the first thing you didn't smell right in this trip. So then I go, and he goes, we're taking off. Sit down. Nothing. Nothing for 40 minutes. You would have flipped out. We're taking off, sit down, and then you just did nothing.
24:46Dana Carvey:Yep, everyone sits down. Crickets. That's when I start to go bananas. We finally, okay, we're taxing. I'm like, it took you 40 minutes to give the update. So we land at 1.30 in the morning and I have to work all day the next day. Far be it for me to complain. Was that complaining? No, I want to know when you left your house to when you walked in the hotel room. Because that's what I call, that's travel time. What was it about? That was over 12 hours, right? Yeah. We left at 9 a.m. My house. Yeah, I did a 13 to Miami. Door to door. Door to door. Yeah. Then I walk in a pile of renews it. And I was like this.
25:37Dana Carvey:So you think you have a break and then there's just this. I have a sensitive snout. And then I got up to go to the first thing, which is an hour 15 away. And my neck. And I was all right. My neck is tough. But I was okay. After that flight, my temper, I didn't flip out. And my neck was okay. We worked all day till probably 6 p.m. And then I had some food. Then I zonked. Did you actually, was it just testing again or did you actually shoot scenes? No, no scenes. Then some rehearsals, some testing, some wardrobe. And then we had a read through yesterday. And so there's just a lot going on. Do you have a director yet?
26:24No. No, we do. We have Kyle. What is his last name? Nunchak. Nunchak. Nunchak, and he's a great guy. He came from Workaholics. He was directing, I think, maybe came up with Workaholics with those guys. Okay. Great dude. Nice. Just did Happy Gilmore, jumping over here. This one's kind of a lot of moving parts, if you can imagine.
26:48Dana Carvey:so he did happy gilmore 2 and now he's doing this one oh that's nice huh it seems like a lot of moving parts it's a cast of thousands i said you have a lot of moving parts i'm the only one you need to worry about keep your eyes on me at all time eyes on the prize higgins
27:10Dana Carvey:what movie is that from That's just funny I don't know Oh I don't know where Higgins I thought Steve Higgins No Higgins is me in the movie Oh that's your name? Yeah I'll get you a link In the movie? Yeah Higgins? Can we talk about that? Can we talk about it? Is it too late to change it From the first two movies? What are you playing? A billionaire hedge fund guy? Dana Grownups is part of the American fabric You're gonna have townies beat you guys up again or threaten you, I bet. Ha ha ha. Don't read it. Don't guess ahead. The fans wait for it. No, I said, we should put a nuclear bomb in it like Oppenheimer.
27:54That helped that movie. They're like, okay, these are all good suggestions. There's no bad ideas. That one's bad.
28:01Dana Carvey:Call it Oppen-Upper. Yeah, call it Floppenheimer. It can't flop. It's on Netflix. wait what was Todd Glass's joke about that oh I cannot even think about it I'll tell it next week so tune in it's great that you have Oppenheimer jokes three years later do we have any Odyssey jokes or the Odyssey no jokes I heard my favorite Zendaya is not in it a lot she's in it plenty okay I'm hearing this in the streets she's like the ghost queen she's like above everything she rolls in and out you know are you gonna see spider-man uh what do i do i look like someone's gonna see spider-man i don't know the marvel universe and all that's lost my lost the thread a little bit is robert downey jr in it because i will watch that guy bob downey made an interesting move which I personally don't love Bobby Downey I know I love Robert Downey Jr.
Read the full transcript
29:13As a friend RDJ And a peer And a peer and someone that we both look up to each other I think So he was in the Avengers He was Iron Man For those of you that don't know He played Iron Man
29:32Dana Carvey:He came in and played Iron Man but he wasn't really made of iron. He wore an iron suit. That's true, Johnny. He wore an iron suit, and that's how they... Johnny really explains it to the audience. Iron Man. He's not actually an Iron Man. He just, with the suit, you could call him an Iron Man because he's wearing an iron suit. In Buzzboys, it's funny because we go undercover at school. They go, how'd it go? And I go, I don't know. This kid called me Low Iron Man. And they go, I go, I don't know why. And he goes, because you're a pussy. And I go, oh, I knew it was negative. and he called me an iphone it doesn't sound negative no because i'm also why do because i was i was wired that's right i was trying to get information i cannot give all the bus boys away oh it's going to hulu august 15th oh it is yeah oh you're going to a real excuse me you're going oh you're not just you're going to a real streaming service I'm not saying it's shocking but it's gonna be on Blippi it's gonna be on Squeep Squab all the big ones Pluto will be the last place that's on the Pluto network I like I see a joke about Tubi and they're like they just sold Tubi for a billion I'm like that fucking trashy really is that what's well every channel's worth a lot what the fudge is going on everybody's a billionaire I can't stand it anyway Well, Ma 'am, Danny's going after billionaires in New York.
31:03Dana Carvey:If you have a second home in New York, he wants you to pay more tax. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was a bit of a stumble to post online all the people that have second homes and their addresses. Because you know, you can't say after he says you should protest in the streets and then say that. I would be worried if I was a guy with that. It was a little weird, but yeah. I told you I'd do it, and now I'm doing it. So smiley. It's Man Danny's impression. I'm Man Danny. If you don't do the impression, you just say the name. I'm Man Danny. I think it's Man Danny. Be careful, David Spade, or I'll drop a tax bomb on you.
31:56God damn, he really bombed it But it was famous, a lot of famous people And said their addresses And I was like, ooh How's dangerous I don't know about that part
32:06Dana Carvey:Just tax them Just tax the fuck out of them Walk them down the street tied together Who did I hear say something today? Oh, I shouldn't say It was a celebrity It was a celebrity that we know that's been on here Friend of the show A friend of the show? And he said, oh, I did this movie and I loved it because I made so much money, I got to buy my second and third house. And I go, I don't think this is what you should tell the American people. Yeah. It's expensive out there, I'll tell you that much. I mean, most people can't even buy a house. It's brutal out there. No, buy a house, go out to dinner, everything.
32:48Dana Carvey:Do anything, get a Slurpee. Just amped up. Yeah. Buy some chapstick. Jacked up. to do basic stuff. You think I'd, I'm like that. Everything is so expensive. Is he the chef now? Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's a chef, but you, David Spade, I loved your stink bomb story in the hotel room because I needed some sleep. Dang as much. Listen, there must've been a six pound stink bug I stepped on, like as big as a fucking kettlebell. Because it was, the emitting of the, what else are they called? What are your faculties? There's other words for up there. Oh, well, it was sort of... What does it mean, way up in your nose?
33:36There's another word I'm looking for. Fauci would call it your nasal area. Oh, your boy is in trouble.
33:44Dana Carvey:Your nasal area. Yeah. Fauci. I'm the advice of my attorney. Tony, I will evoke my right under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution to refrain from telling anything right now. I'm not supposed to tell any lies. I've got to be careful. A little bit of the Rocky guy. I do Fauci's like this. I'm Tony Fauci. And from the bottom of my all-new leather Fauci's, go fuck yourself. Yeah. He was really on the griddle. But he wasn't saying anything. I want to hear him say something. Well, it's just got to do that. It's the Constitution, David. It's his right. I know. I heard that because he got amnesty.
34:38What did he get?
34:39Dana Carvey:He got pardoned by Joe Biden. So he has to answer. That's a little bit of a gray area there. How about, are you allowed to do an opening statement and still do the fifth? Go. Go. That's all you get. I'm asking you. Oh, yeah, he did do an opening statement. I'm saying, are you allowed to? Go. Yes. Oh, interesting. Yes. There are people in the Republican Party that have an obsession with me. Is that what he says? Yeah. and they're just trying to get at me. I'm Tony Fauci. What about... Maybe we'll do... Go ahead. Maybe we'll do them on our five-hour energy segment. Oh, that's great. It's about to come out.
35:32I will say I was going to get a cheesesteak and the recommendation was this little choke and puke down the street and they go, it's great. the griddle has seasoning from 50 years. I go, like a bathtub ring? What do you mean? So you didn't think it was a recipe from 50 years ago?
35:54Dana Carvey:You thought it was an actual product that was 50 years old. Well, no, griddle from 50 years of seasoning of just cooking on it over and over and over. I'm like, that's your big pitch? Do you ever think that you're kind of seeking trouble? because it seems like everything that could go wrong goes wrong. We got to get a movie and just David Spade is the victim. Mr. Victor. Well, the airplane ride was a mofo. I know, and it kills me to complain. It goes against every fighter in me. You're not really complaining. You're reporting. Yeah, thank you. Let me ask this guy. Is David complaining? Ask somebody.
36:35Dana Carvey:No. No, David Spade doesn't pay his fair share, but his stories were true. Also with the griddle, 50 years old, he shouldn't have had a ham sandwich from that place. And by the way, I talk a lot like Tony Fauci right now. No complaints. No complaints. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. It's the millionaires. And you're a millionaire. Oh, it's the billionaires. You're almost a billion object. They always call about you. You're a billionaire. You fly private. Don't twist it all around I guess the biggest private jet guy was Al Gore I don't blame him That's a wonderful thing to do I've talked to pilots I love your positioning I like to fly by myself on a private jet They call it private because it's just me Then I buy offsets They plant trees They don't get your bee in a bonnet Yeah I have to fly to save the climate No, that, yes, that's it.
37:36Dana Carvey:Yeah, some CO2 is good. By the way, we have more green plants on Earth than it ever in the history of the Earth. How dare you? How dare you? Credit Thunberg. I know, I like her. Who's she coming on? I love her. Let's bring her on. She's cool. She should have a sitcom by now. It would be called? The Krabby Little Girl.
38:01How dare you? How dare you is the guy that's the easiest title.
38:05Dana Carvey:How dare you? Welcome to how dare you. Welcome Greta Thunberg and how dare you? How dare you? It's an SNL game show. Yeah. Who plays Greta Thunberg? Sarah Silverman. Or no, Sarah Sherman. All the Sarahs. Dude, I said the funniest burn today because it was some girl sits on a log and she falls backwards down a hill and her pants fold down her knees and the log rolls over and it's they're all cracking up and it's ridiculous and I go Sarah was this your SNL audition fucking burn so awesome Spade good job Spade good job you're a good friend to Sarah okay let's do 5 hour because it's around that time oh I gotta read it Heather Heather Heather Heather Oh, the intro.
39:02To let you get prepped. Who's Cam? Cam from Busboys? Cam. Oh, sorry. Cam from Busboys. Yeah, from SNL too. Cam Patterson. Yeah. Yeah. More from that. Yeah, more from SNL. I think he said something, one of his jokes was, he said Theo is dumber than JFK after the first bullet. Remember that? These jokes won't be on a sitcom Okay
39:32Dana Carvey:Going for the Going for the For the family audience Yeah It's great No No You're a beautiful Intelligent woman It's funny because You're not supposed to say it You say it And then people laugh I like to call it that It's taboo Who are we talking to? Oh, Tony Hale That loves watching Bloopers on Instagram from different shows. I know. It's so fun. I was watching Seinfeld and Julie Louise laughing all the time is so funny. And you know, they're all, it's so fun. Okay. I wish I could talk about that. What is the deal? It's time for buzzing around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor.
40:13Ignite your taste buds with a red, white, blue freezer pop classic. Reimagine as a delicious Firework Freeze Five Hour Energy shot. Fine Firework Freeze shots. Five Hour Energy Shop. Online at fivehourenergy.com or Amazon today. Dana will be doing a scenario, a fictitious one. Don't think it's real.
40:36Dana Carvey:I don't know if it's - Please don't think it's real at home. He's just making up jokes. He's just making up jokes. It's nothing that really is happening. It's not funny. I kind of gave away my joke that made me laugh. Who did? I already gave it away a little bit. Well, this is Tony Fauci. People tune out. Now having dinner with Christopher Walken and then Lorne Michaels comes in. Oh, I love it already. Okay. Everybody quiet on the set. Go. Tony, Tony, do you like tomatoes? On the advice of my attorney, I vote my Fifth Amendment right under the Constitution and frame of asking a question. Wow. Do you like avocados?
41:21Dana Carvey:on the advice of my attorney I invoke on the 5th Amendment of the Constitution of Frank Ransom your question what's up everybody Tony how are you would you guys like to split some calamari and then you read it on the advice of my attorney on the advice of my attorney about the Constitution that's close on the advice of my attorney
41:51Dana Carvey:Constitutional And the constitution But I do like Octopus Tony what about doing it as a joke Why did the chicken Cross the road
42:13That's what he should have started doing In the hearing
42:16Dana Carvey:I thought people do hard time understanding me but this takes it to a whole level now if excuse me i gotta go make some more girl scout cookies cookies i was on said uh anthony uh host first show uh this season maybe first show you're gonna be with the goo goo dolls we'll pair you with the goo goo dolls i think it's a pretty good show Anthony the richer you get the more sort of casual and relaxed and you get very quiet I think maybe we should have some sourdough rolls on the advice of my kid can you send me in Fauci do you have churros you know what churros are churros are like a little roll up thing rolled up mexican um like dessert on the advice of my churros this is he got it mixed up yeah on the advice of my churros who's this guy is that red rednecky red rednecky the redneck comedian that's right did you make up a rednecky well i just i did i had ai do this character you You did the character and AI goes, I know what you're looking for.
43:42Dana Carvey:Yeah, I just described it. I'm red, redneck. Now everything sounds like Fauci now. It's a problem for people to impress. Wait, let me hear the red, redneck. He's like, I'm red, redneck. Yeah, sort of. Let's see. I'm red, redneck. I'm redneck comedian. My foot got caught in the lawnmower. I'm with the doctor. They said, we got to amputate your left foot. I said, can I keep my right foot? They said, yeah. I said, come and get some. That's not even a show. Well, because he's, the thing is, he's so positive. No, whatever ever happens. Oh, he's happy? I asked my daddy, what's for dinner? He said, shit on a shingle.
44:22Dana Carvey:I said, this day just keeps getting better and better. Come and get some. Yeah, shit on a shingle. I think my dad used to say that too. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a World War II thing. I asked my mama, what's for dinner? She said, roadkill. I said, what kind? She said, uh-oh, I guess I'll go check the bumper. Guardmark. Come and get some. Are we still doing 5-Hour Energy? No, it's over. Oh, yeah, that was buzzing around. Sponsored by 5-Hour Energy's Firework Freeze flavor, the iconic red, white, and blue freezer pop flavor you crave with none of the sugar. Spark a taste flavor sensation with Firework Freeze.
45:045R Energy shots available online at 5Renergy.com and Amazon today. Falls right around the corner. Is it? Yeah, it is. Yeah, my living room was completely trashed after busy summer. Oh, I heard that. And I desperately needed a home refresh. You know, jumped on Wayfair, found the Havenstone leather sectional. Ooh, nice. I like that. Which, you know, kind of zhuzhed up the place. I'll admit I was nervous about buying a major piece of furniture online, but seeing the real customer photos and reading through the millions of verified five-star reviews gave me total confidence before ordering. When it arrived, quality blew me away.
45:49It's durable, comfortable, exactly what I need built to handle real life.
45:53Dana Carvey:That's right. And if you want extra peace of mind, you can shop Wayfair verified pieces, which are hand-fitted by product specialists using a 10-point inspection testing material quality and build time. It helped me create a space I love without overspending, giving me top tier style on a realistic budget. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5 % back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com and shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Wayfair, every style, every home. Listen, you guys know how much I love multitasking.
46:32that's what everyone's always stopping me and asking me about um lately my secret weapon's been amazon music i used to jump in between three different apps to get through my day because i'm weird but now amazon music is my one app for music podcasts and audiobooks yes you heard it right your amazon music unlimited subscription now includes access to audiobooks meaning it does so much more for you without any extra hassle. Dana?
47:02Dana Carvey:I've been listening while walking the dog, tackling that endless mountain of laundry. You're always doing the laundry. I do loads and loads of it all day. Yeah, Sundays laundry day. Boo, I got 55 of these. And it just fits perfectly into my routine. I recently queued up Project Hail Mary. Oh, yeah. Yeah, which was a great movie, but great to listen to too. Hearing the story come to life in the narrator's voice completely transformed my afternoon chores into an epic space adventure. Jealous? Yeah, it's amazing how a great voice performance makes the story feel so special and immersive. And the best part is that you don't need a separate app to dive into your next favorite story.
47:47It's all seamlessly integrated right where you already listen. Amazon Music is definitely my favorite part of my routine. music, podcasts, audiobooks. It's all in one app.
47:57Dana Carvey:Running a business means wearing a lot of hats, but I used to find that traditional banking options always seem to slow me down with endless friction like playing phone tags just to chase down the status of an international wire transfer. That's why I love using Mercury. It completely eliminates those legacy headaches and works exactly how you'd expect best-in-class software to work. Mercury isn't a bank. They're a financial technology company that offers a powerful, intuitive banking experience designed to automate the way you work. It's completely free to get started with no minimal balances or in-person visits required, giving you free same day ACH, USD wires, and customizable team cards.
48:47You know, it's an all-in-one platform that flexes as you grow, allowing you to scan bills to pay them instantly. Set up recurring payments and see exactly where your business stands right from your dashboard. Instead of duct taping multiple tools together, you can curb spend before it happens with customer user permissions and built-in spend management. Visit Mercury.com to learn more and apply online in minutes. Mercury is a fintech company, not an FDIC-insured bank. Banking services provided through Choice Financial Group and Column N.A., members FDIC.
49:28I'm sorry I'm yawning. I'm on East Coast time.
49:31Dana Carvey:I think you're doing it after hearing your story. I know, right? I think you're bringing it really good today. And I was really preening and peacocking to the camera test today. I mean, I'm out there working on the farm at 530, so it's a little late for me. Poke and bales of hay with a pitchfork. So the flight lasts 13 hours, and then you have a stink bomb in the hotel. You try to get a bite to eat. The grill's 50 or so. Is that what you're saying? That's a good summary, Piers. That's really... Remind me never to travel with you. Remind me never to listen to this fucking shit again. No, but let's go to some news stories.
50:11We've got a few minutes.
50:12Dana Carvey:Oh, my God. We haven't even had a story yet? No, I know. Sorry. Okay. On the advice of... Heather's reading ahead. Arsness cuts off penis, then uses it to start a blaze in neighbor's garage. Cops. Well, what could have happened here, Dana? And they use it as a match? I mean, who hasn't tried this? I mean, most men, this is sort of some kind of... Of course, every crazy person has better hair than me. God dang it. You ever notice that homeless people do have great heads of hair. Yeah, and huge wieners. Well, because they're always dropping their pants. I know, they're showing off. I don't know what this story is.
51:01Dana Carvey:Cuts off penis. You want to read this out loud? Our plan was a bunch of junk. A fireberg in Indiana cut off his own wien, dumped gasoline on it, and uses his wiener to start of blaze god where's the hoa this is gonna grab the audience and hold them by the way i thought red redneck he was skinnier um yeah i got that i got that message um i actually know what too red redneck he can be skinnier yeah you know he just it's still in the early stages yes i'm gonna here's what you do is you put in your 10 15 red rednecky jokes to claude you say give me a thousand jokes freaking claude claude someone told me to get claude i was like i don't know it's like the vaccine i'm gonna wait get more information yeah the vaccine was over i mean i did it but i had to get the vaccine within seconds or i couldn't go to my agents or I couldn't go on the set of my job.
52:09Or I couldn't fly. Okay, what's the next story? Let's see.
52:15Turned.
52:17Dana Carvey:Turned a regular club into the turtle club. Play it, play it. An insane character I did in Master Disguise. Am I not turtling up for the turtle club? Heather. Look at they put the turtles in the audience. I like that they use the turtle just occasionally. It comes in. Yeah, like that. Turtle? Turtle.
52:48What?
52:51Dana Carvey:Turtle Club, man. Oh. All right. I'm just thinking. That's a compliment. We should talk to Happy Madison. Either do a cartoon called Turtle Man. Oh, that would be good. And he's a private detective and his car looks like a turtle shell. Does this woman work here? What voice is that? I'm showing you a picture. Am I not turtly enough for Turtle Club? Drop, drop. It was weird. When I was doing that character, it was so weird that I had the thing on. I'm a turtle. I got the turtle. And then I do a take and I go to Video Village for you kids where all the people are there. and they're looking down as I come in.
53:36Dana Carvey:No, I'm not kidding. It was like a mug in there. I mean, seriously, it was like somebody died because they didn't know it would be a huge, huge hit. They didn't know. My poly market, I didn't pick the Turtle Club today. I would have won quite a fortune. I'm sure I did have a smidge of a fortune. Yeah. My kid through school. Yeah, I think it's time for children to come back. I like Turtle Club. Okay, here we go. That was cool. We give a summary. That was cool. I dug it. Oh, this is fine. Dana, this is a girl that got bullied. I like this because her mom helps her and goes, I'm going to feed you the bully lines and then you are calling you.
54:22We're going to help you give a comeback.
54:25Dana Carvey:Okay, I like that. She's very cute. Fucking ugly. Okay, I told the barbers. No, it started too late. I told my hairdresser to give me your cut. That's a good one. You're a gap-toothed bitch. Okay.
54:46You're an ugly little rat. Okay. She can't. God, her mom's the meanest. Okay. You have the worst haircut. She goes, okay, I went to your barber. and the guy goes barber I think that
55:02Dana Carvey:she seems like the coolest kid I don't know if she needs the training why would she get picked on she's like the funniest why is she getting picked on I like that she's not super sad about it because they're trying to coach her and she's like just laughs because it's like it throws her because she goes you're a bucktooth bitch beaver and she's like okay it's like mom let's start with a few softballs first we got to find out what the attack line is before we go to something you bucktooth The mom was going in hard. And she's like, I think that's why she laughed. She's like, well, that was a bit more than I thought was coming.
55:36Dana Carvey:I think the basic classic from my childhood, I don't know about you, was I know you are, but what am I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you are. What am I? Yeah. Hey, they'd be like, hey, Spade, you're an idiot. I know you are. What am I? No, I know you are. But did you have something about me? mm-hmm was there another one in there I know you are I'm rubber you're a glue what you say to me sticks to you yeah there was why don't you make me I go I don't make trash I burn it this was my childhood with three older brothers who would bully me and be like cut it out cut it out quit punching me stop it did your brothers ever hold you down and then spit and have the spit go all the way sorry I triggered you I don't know why they got so much joy out of it.
56:28It definitely, I don't like being held down. I don't think anyone does, but pin down my brother and he's spitting and slipping it up, which is not exact science because sometimes he just spits on me.
56:39Dana Carvey:At least you didn't get the whiskers. Your dad never came back and held you down with a two-week growth and rubbed his face on your prepubescent face. No, but my grandma used to go, hey, feel this bikini wax on your face. I go, no. I'm kidding it's a mega bush I went to grandma's how did you not well I was thinking ahead but let me give me a second what happened to grandma I went to her medicine camera I'm like 10 it was like even I knew dried diseases I was like so then she's like and she was a chain smoker and then she's she had some tea so she took the tea that you dip into the tea bag and try to light it.
57:26Dana Carvey:Ah, crazy person. Grandma! Because she's on so... I like you open the medicine cabinet to a hundred things. It's like Hydrogonga Geek. Oh, yeah. God bless her, you know. She needed a little extra juice to get by in life. All right, let's throw one more, one or two more. There's a leaner one in here somewhere. This is it. Katy Perry gets stuck inside giant... Oh, this is a giant bottle. She makes a big goofy bottle in her concert that she can't get out. She's crowd surfing in her bottle. Oh, I love this. Now she's trying to get out? Yeah, she's stuck. Well, it looks like a condom, doesn't it? Does anyone have a bottle opener?
58:10Yeah, I could be. It could be the intestines of a whale. I would start to get scared because she can't roll it. No one's pushing her.
58:20Dana Carvey:Well they don't really see her I mean was this considered a home run As you do it all the time It was a stunt gone wrong they're saying I think it's like Crowd surfing but safer So they put you in like a circle Oh and then put you out amongst everyone And you're inside this place And they can't touch you They're like not going along with the rehearsal Where they're supposed to pass her along to the stage And she's like guys I've stalled out here
58:47Dana Carvey:I've rarely done that I mean, you've tried it in some of your gigs. It was sort of a smaller two. Yeah. Oh, this is kind of sad when it's just having a Brad. And now Tom Cruise. Oh, his daughter is changing his last name. Her last name. Huh? That's a bummer. But listen to this. She gave an excuse, which I think is, I would guess a bluff, but I do think it's nice. She at least said an excuse. Right. To pursue acting without relying on her. I don't have enough information to have an opinion. I use that phrase a lot. But she can change her name. But I think it's hard to really erase yourself now and really change your name and have no one know what came from.
59:41Dana Carvey:Right. I mean, people, especially in LA, if you're related to anyone, everyone just goes, oh, see that guy's dad invented mothballs. And you're like, oh, I've heard of them. Yeah, he's super rich. Everyone is introduced or talked about and they have to drop in. Right. And I think she's a really, appears to be a really sweet young woman. But I would just say that if you do want to change your identity secretly, maybe you wouldn't post it globally. Globally. I don't know if she posted her new name. Her new name is Pitt. And her middle name is Brad. Yeah. I'm sorry, Brad Pitt. Hey, I'm just going to say this right now because people literally have asked me this occasionally.
1:00:36originally is spade your real last name oh i have heard that you know i i this comes up but when we had it live and chris rock said people think we both made up our last name chris rock as well show busy yeah too cool too cool best thing my dad did give me a cool name and then split but i liked it i like the name it works it's great now would i like a hug also
1:01:04Dana Carvey:Which is like Oh, okay Oh, we're going there Okay Just look at my gum collection in my hand I'm a little light Dana, should we end it on that whimper? I'm fine with it Any dates? Oh, you want to do another one? We'll do one more This is just a technical thing I think is real maybe it's a fake way of looking fake but when you see disaster movies and how they make them
1:01:40okay cool
1:01:53if you do that in slow motion it looks and you have enough angles looks for sure real
1:01:59Dana Carvey:well it's a little bit going back to odyssey where it it you know it is water it is waves it's flowing in there and there's model a model city so yeah usually you could do it with ai but yeah pretty cool and if people think that's ai then we're really fucked i'm like you're faking the fake stuff like come on come on so i can't believe i you just you could just maybe tell us or not tell us, but where are they going to use that in Grown Ups 3? No, that's not in Grown Ups 3. No? I cannot tell you. One minuscule molecule. No, we were doing camera tests. I took a picture of somebody because I thought it was funny.
1:02:42And they go, don't post that. I go, relax. I'm not some thirsty poster. Or am I? What's with the flirtation? I like to go to the camera. Because I have to look down to look at you on it. But I want to look up in the lens like a normal person.
1:02:59Dana Carvey:No, because you do that sometimes. I'd be like, hey, David, what's up? I know, it's funny. I love it. Okay, well, I'll let you go. Thanks, David. You're a trooper based on what you put up with this week to come in and do the podcast. I thought we'd have. Yes, I owe it to the fans. They freak out if I wasn't here. I think you do. but thanks for playing along we'll see you next week goodnight everybody
1:03:30alright listen if you're enjoying the fly on the wall of course hopefully you are click follow we don't want to be desperate but obviously smash that god dang button on your favorite podcast app smash leave a review a good one leave a five star rating nothing else and maybe even share an episode with a friend If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe, Dana. What do you think?
1:03:55Dana Carvey:I'm going to tell you this right now. Hear me now, believe me later. Fly on the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox. with production support from Phil Sweet Tech. Talent production and booking by Sophia Lepore.
From the publisher
This week David and Dana talk through David’s travel woes, the Fauci trial, and they pitch a sitcom for Greta Thunberg. Also, The Turtle Club gets a remix, Buzzing Around, and the news of the week.