Jimmy Kimmel & The Celebrities We Love

0:28He looked at whatever the piece of paper and he was like, James Jimmy Kimmel. James Phineas Kimmel. No one knows that that's his middle name. Jim Kim, also known on Howard Stern as Jimble Kimble, is a friend of the show. And I've been on his show probably 20 times. You know, when I'm promoting, I usually pop by Fallon, pop by Kimmel, and there's no Ellen right now. But I have a lot of fun with this guy, and he's always a good audience. i will say he's a good laugher i go on there he kind of lets me know he knows kind of what i might talk about he just says just go just start blabbing and he'll chime in like something funny to add to it so that's a good time on there and now we get him we've had him before he interviewed us on here he interviewed us he came around and he's um we got him on this podcast he had just finished his show all right he was in person when he interviewed us right here in this room and then we got him after the show and he was nice enough to jump on with us and we talk about his show and how hard it is to do it how long he's going to do it yeah and we basically just laugh a lot yeah and we do get some inside baseball about his personal life and what what his happy place is what makes not doing the show do you have a happy place david you know what's your happy place not really besides being on this podcast with me think of something else um when i'm uh in line at mcdonald's at the drive-thru don rickles used to say there was no greater thing than when he would kill in vegas and he's in the jet i don't know if it's private or but and he's flying away with a big fat check he did the work and he got the money that's yeah i do i do say there's stuff in life that's still fun and it is coming up with a joke that works when you think about i thought one yesterday morning and i wrote it down i was like giggling going this might be funny i'll have to try it i don't know what it is right now but that stuff is fun it gives you a little endorphins yeah in the end of the day that's that's kind of what it is like jay leno was obviously the uh svengali of stand up you know yeah it's very simple you know because people ask what do i do he goes hey yeah right right joke tell joke get checked right joe tell joke get checked because people are all into the drama and i should be a middle act and what do i write joke tell you someone stole my act write another joke then just write more jokes anyway here's jimmy kimball here's jimmy kimball not jaylen oh hi there are there's a rumor that you're gonna do smartless after this but no i mean how many what when does you do that after your whole show how's it going guys get exhausted thinking about your schedule this is bad enough it's not you know it's you get used to anything right i mean whatever the schedule is he can become acclimated to it yeah if you do a movie and you're doing 14 hours a day and you get a 12-hour day you're like yes yeah right if you do any other show and you work an hour you yeah and when you and john oliver and fallon and you know um all the all you guys colbert come into the podcast world we will welcome you there's four million podcasts thank you yeah it's there we need we do need more for sure i think it might be a bad sign for your podcast that this is my second time on and i've never and i was only at saturday night live once i went to watch it you don't even get it on your tv do you realize how famous you are how many years is 23 years i don't know how long have you been 23 we almost 23 on the show yeah 23 in january i know it's crazy right that can you go to a mall without a baseball cap and no one knows why would you are there still malls you know i do go to the mall every once in a while and have you guys been in the mall i love it so much one is it's the only time i get in the christmas spirit is a mall with all the music and then i saw a ai woman waving at me and And everywhere I went, she looked and winked at me.

4:56And it was like a hologram. So I do like a mall. That's what mall were you at? Are you sure it's not at the mall and not tripping or something? It was in Chico, California. Oh, yeah. No, that's a prison, Dana. You're at a prison. No, Jimmy, all kidding aside, I know Dana likes to joke around. I don't. I joke around. David, give us a serious question. I went to the Grove this weekend, and there was all the tree and all this stuff. So I see what Dana's talking about. It's very festive, and I ate at the Cheese Dick Factory, which I still go to. I still like. Wow. And, you know, there's some good stuff.

5:36They have a new item on page 88 of the menu. It's longer than the Bible. There are chapters on that menu. Our salads, we're salads. that's chapter seven. I go, Oh, can you get everything in the world at Jerry's deli with the big lemonade? It's gone. There's no Jerry's deli. I just, okay. You got to get out of the house. Billy's deli. Billy's deli. Yeah. Don't tell me hamburger Hamlet's not there. Where can you play a good game of pinball? I, you know, I'm nostalgic about hamburger Hamlet. because of I love that place. I used to go there. That one on Doheny and Sunset all the time. David, did I tell you?

6:26I don't remember if I told you this, but I saw you walking one day. I don't know why. How was he walking? He was just walking on the street. And I almost, I had to pull a maneuver because I was like, oh, I got to text him while he's walking. And I don't know why that, I thought that would be a great thing to do. But it was too dangerous. It was in Hollywood. You were walking somewhere. and I thought that was interesting and then the circle was completed this evening when Kevin Nealon was on my show you guys know Kevin and he said that of all the guests of all the 170 some odd guests on his show hiking with Kevin the most difficult one to walk with was none other than David Spade yeah who and correct me if I have if I have any of this wrong or if he had any of this wrong but he said that you requested that there be no incline whatsoever which is not hiking you have to have an incline if you're gonna hike otherwise it is just a stroll it's strolling this is getting into semantics it is it's really down to a trick way to do an interview so it's like hey we're gonna go bowling hey we're gonna be in an ice bath so i said kevin i barely like walking so i don't want to hike plus i got a bad neck so i go listen why don't we go to the km parking lot and walk and it'll be funny because we're it's easier for you too and then we won't be like and then i got a hotel transylvania you know so i said i might be a better interview and he was like no no we'll we'll go on a little it'll be barely it'll be flat and then we get up there middle of the interview i go dude are we going uphill i of course got incensed right sure you promised have you had on his jimmy if you've been on hiking i have yeah we went on and um it's funny because well for people who haven't seen the show is kevin goes on a hike with somebody but it's funny because it's not like it's not like he cleared the area so you're walking and kevin's got his selfie stick which is just a dangerous way to walk anyway everyone passing you flips out because you're there with, you know, Kevin is a giant.

8:42And then, so like three quarters of the interview is being stopped by people who want to like take a picture or something because they don't understand there's a show going on. There's a big show. Did he have the drone? He has a drone control too. He has a drone now and he's doing that. He's got a siren on his head. And so everyone's like, I thought Jack Black was funny. You know, I have seen it. We are buddies with Kevin forever. uh it is hysterical but he's really like lugging waters he's got like a emergency cinder block yeah i'm like kevin you don't need all this stuff on you it's so hard to hike for you he's also real serious still complaining he gets real serious about the equipment too like you see that serious side of kevin that you didn't know was there the technical thing yeah this is a camera a nikon tx40 uh cum sucker 3000 i'm like oh so it's just a camera i got it there's a real dad thing that happens all of a sudden he's like you know it's like oh yeah this is what he's like with his son like you know making sure the equipment is right and don't oh that's right he spanked me one time over a rock but you learned your lesson where did you guys go to the eiger sanction you're so tough we went to uh i don't know somewhere in the valley it was like a hiking area i was unaware of in in the valley i mean he must repeat those because not everyone wants to drive out to chino valley he must repeat it and also it's weird to get an invitation to do a talk show and you and he's dropped a pin that's where that's how you find him it's no address yeah yeah ways and then an uber yeah we're cutting through like somebody's yard in a cul-de-sac to get to the area oh i got a question for you first of all i do it's about your show but also about your show what is the rigorous schedule down to at this point is it still rigorous it's still hard to do a show yeah but what is the first thing in the morning you start getting hit up with joke ideas or pre-tapes or um well you really want to know the schedule it's kind of you hosted you've as i've hosted it you we kind of know the schedule but mine was harder when i hosted i'll go through really really quickly is um in the morning at 9 15 i get an email with like 30 pages of jokes and bit ideas shut up is that true perfect i mow through that i whittle it down to about four pages i send it back i then get on a zoom with our producers and have a meeting about the guests that night i take a shower i drive into work i have rehearsal as soon as i show up which is at 11 30 and then i go up to my office and um review a bunch of material i go through those jokes again go through the bits i'll make edits on bits and we shoot things if we have to and then at from three to five i write the monologue with two other guys here in the office really and they do a draft of it and i sit and rewrite the whole thing i mean i wouldn't know i don't mean i rewrite the whole thing right you just gotta make it your own voice yeah i do and then i go do the show from five to six how often like you're in the wings and you're about to come out and you just go yeah i we don't got it tonight this is stinker i i gotta just riff it i mean you know you know you could always kind of reach in and pull something out something tonight actually good crowds what was tonight backstage tonight it there it was full crickets it was i was like oh my god is anybody out there mike this is did they people show up and that's where it becomes like that's where you a little bit nervous and but i find that if i just like add a little if the audience has too much energy i will subtract some and if they don't have enough i will add some oh yeah that's a good idea sometimes they're too energetic and they're laughing at setups you're like let me just get this out yeah yeah it's funny because i'm never happy whatever it's like they laugh too much or they didn't have enough shut up very rarely do we hit that exact right amount You know, every year, David, I think we can unequivocally say this.

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15:36Go to squarespace.com slash fly for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code fly to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh, yes. it was kind of weird when i i you know first one in the tonight show and i knew it was in the afternoon but you just when you're watching that as a kid the tonight show you know you think it's midnight you know yeah it's called the tonight show i know and you guys are all like afternoon mike douglas he hours you know it's not called the desk well we were live at the beginning so and we were on at midnight on the East Coast. So we were on from 9.05 to 10.05 p.m.

16:19back in the old days. And that really felt like a late-night show. And also, there's just a crazy energy out on Hollywood Boulevard at that time every night because there's a lot of crazy people out on Hollywood Boulevard at that time every night. And so then everything, it was weird because if we do pre-tapes, it suddenly would go from night to daytime. And then I felt like, oh, we should do all our pre-tapes at night. But that didn't really work because we were doing the show from 9 to 10, and it became just like an 18-hour-a-day job, and it became crazy. But then over the years, people had kids, and I had another set of kids, and we started shortening the day.

17:01And eventually, this is as short as it can get, though, from 9.15 till 6.15. That's the minimum amount of time you can put into it. Yeah. I even did that Lights Out show, and it was way harder than I thought. because from the second I get up, there's just a stack of emails and things and things. And I'm not Jimmy Fallon. Like, we both have to say we're not out there doing, like, tap dancing with J-Lo. He's got to drive to Staten Island and do, like, bumper cars or someone, and he's got to learn a song and dance with Ariana Grande. It's hard to do all that stuff. It's so much energy. Not for him, but I think, yes, for us it will be hard.

17:36But I have witnessed him in action, and it's quite remarkable. it's like it's weird because you have a lot of professional singers who you know show up and like he doesn't even wear the earpiece that you need to wear to make sure you're singing well he just sings well he has a super i don't think people realize like how talent actually it's a weird thing is you're like oh he's talented like we're not i'm not talented you know like i can go up and tell some jokes and write some stuff but he has like real talent in the old fashion way i was told that if he choreographs a dance number even with justin timberlake whoever he just has it he does i've seen that happen yeah he came on our show and he did a christmas song and he was he was uh there were no mistakes he just nailed it and it was unbelievable it really was hey this is a crazy christmas song you know amazing so that's just my like so kickball change fan fan back and you're like yeah it was disheartening is really what it was yeah i have a very thin lane of just mumbling jokes and then some people do a lot more dana does a lot more yeah dana's got talent yeah dana's not not like fallon there's only but i i've you know you know what wears kind of well though later on at least for me on youtube at night is dick cavett i mean i really enjoy watching old dick cavetts he got his ass kicked by carson or whatever you want to college.

19:12They were kind of like the original podcast. You could hear traffic going by. It was very lo-fi, long interviews with Robert Mitchum and stuff. Very interesting. You know what I love? I love watching with these old talk shows, especially like with Carson. What I really love seeing because we've all seen, we all seen the hatchet, the highlights and like all these visuals that we're all so familiar with. Yeah. But to watch like a year three when he's still in new york wednesday night show and they have these at like the museum of um television radio and and some of them are just dreadfully dull and it makes you feel better it really does yeah true like when he was 90 minutes it was rough 90 minutes was a very long time to do a a third guest or fourth guest he's like now what do you do sir so you know interviewing is tough that interviewing is the toughest part for me I have an appreciation for how you do that, because it is like trying to catch the wind.

20:12You let the guests go. Do I jump in now? How, like, over the years, has your skill set in your mind increased in terms of letting the moment happen and not interrupt? It's just hard. Well, there's a lot of factors, I think. And one of them is when you're interviewing a comic, which is always it's weirdly the easiest and the hardest at the same time because you do not want you know my natural inclination would be to say something funny when a story's been going on for a bit but you know with a comic that they're getting to something ideally at least they're getting to something and you don't want to jump on on their setup you don't want to ruin it so you have to be cognizant of that and i also don't love knowing the jokes beforehand i know i hate it yeah so i don't want to know like you know but you know when to jump in but jay used to think of jokes back i didn't know that like he would look at it and he goes when he gets to this point i'll say this and he would i would be in the middle and say something kind of funny oh but i realized later that was part of the meeting is like what could i say here what is he so he was really coming off better than me you don't want to know the bits you just get it like a bullet point you don't want to know the line by line yeah yeah i don't want to know i i prefer because then it's just like the whole thing feels fake you know so at least i'm a member of the audience uh i'm sitting there with with a comic unless they need me to know something i prefer not to i try to tell when i go on ken who works me i say try to give him as little as possible or maybe just give him out where he knows it's over right right and then you're kind of just get to go all right i kind of know what spades and he's gonna fuck around here and i just got to know when to keep it things moving i feel like also dead david you've been on so many times now that i just kind of know where where you are in the story so and yeah we don't really need you go this is funny because i do this is really funny because he did it last time can i tell you he did this story three times okay i know the story this is good rickles would do that every time rickles had you know super dave also was another one was great because yeah he would do the same stuff he once i was watching an old video of super dave on carson it was shortly after he'd been on my show and he did exactly all the same material i was like oh this is incredible like his his philosophy was nobody gives a shit nobody remembers and it's true i mean we were also like oh i can't do that joke um you know colbert did a joke like that in october of like you know 2020 nobody's keeping track of all or who's gonna see both shows at the same time i i saw rickle's guys on something two nights ago where he's walking around like at the golden globes he's yeah he's walking the crowd he goes julia roberts is over here julia i live I'm near you in Malibu, two houses down.

23:19You don't invite me over for dinner. And she goes, Don, anytime. He goes, you have no lines, Julia. He? She laughs so hard. Ad-lib with him. No, no, Julia, no lines. As a kid, I didn't understand as a young person. But it seemed like mayhem when he came out. Give Ed a cookie. Put him in the corner. The show started. You know, all these abstract put-downs. He didn't have any jokes. He just had these rhythms of put downs. You know, Frank, the mob called. Benny Balao. You know, and they're on YouTube and you just go. And same thing with Rodney. I'll see YouTube clips of Rodney and just go, damn, the amount of great jokes.

24:00Just appreciate those guys. It was funny with Rickles. Like he had some sense that he'd done like some of these jokes before. So he would truncate them in a way that sometimes cut out the setup to the joke. Yeah. So he had some jokes about his wife. Like, hey, she's with the jewelry. She's signaling ships. And it was like, wait, but what led us to that? Who has jewelry? He's got big jewelry. Yeah, he's like, he's doing jokes about Joan Rivers. Johnny, Johnny, it's over. Okay. You know, it was all this like. I like Johnny, it's over. That was funny. Johnny, it's over. Yeah, Martin Short, who we love, of course.

24:38You know, the compliment and then the chair is pulled out. You know? You know? No, I love your show. When I did the sleep, you know, it's just all. I was at a dinner at Martin Short's house one night with Rickles and his wife, Barbara, and they're sitting there. And this is something I say to my wife a lot now because it made such an impression on me. Rickles is trying to, um, he's, he's telling a story that his wife Barbara has heard thousands of times, you know, and she would, she would just kind of fill in the blank. And like, he'd be like, and, uh, then, uh, and she'd be like Vinnie Boombat.

25:12and he's like oh vini boom bye you know whatever and he got a thing and she had had enough of these stories i mean she had heard them too many times and and he said something and she looks over him she goes talk talk talk and she does a little hand motion he's talking talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk without without talk talk talk you'd be a derelict

25:38i say that to my wife something but hey you'd be a derelict such a perfect word johnny johnny your wife alexis uh you're gonna pass away one day and she'll be like too bad about johnny i'll take the red dress yeah he's out spending your money johnny do you understand we went out to a explains the joke we went out to dinner one night at um um craigs were um don rickle you know like everybody out the hangout place yeah and uh at the end of the night you know he was fragile he was he was in his 80s at the time at the end of the night these uh two bus boys come over uh two mexican guys and to help him up and um they help him up and he stands up and he he gives them each 20 and he goes here buy your mother a house

26:32Regis Philbin used to open for him and Regis said honest to God some nights you don't know if he's going to make it out there he gets two highballs in him he's rubbing his knees they're playing the trumpet sometimes it doesn't happen rubbing his knees as he goes out honest to God that was Regis that was his phrase honest to God I gotta tell you that's beautiful he goes he shows he goes this black guy in the crowd his friends are upstairs in your hotel room stealing all your stuff and then it's they cut it's like Quincy Jones going my friend because he still there was a lapse there where he was doing those jokes a little too late in the game and it was like during the Oscars something and I'm like wait a second I don't have the band all with that trumpet and his theme every time when he came out you know was a very cool thing when he'd come on my show he'd look around at the band and then we have a you know a japanese guitar player and um two uh you know mexican guy you know so he'd go right into it and it was funny because i think the first time he was on the show it got big laughs and as the years went on people became more sensitive and you know nobody in the band cared they all thought it was funny but then there's the same jokes every freaking time but um you know after a while it became like i just knew that what we're gonna have to do he was gonna come out he was gonna do those racist jokes i was gonna edit all of those that whole top of the segment out and i would just take a beat let him do all those jokes and i'd say how are you that's what you just start that's a hard tv yeah you have to tell me the other day when you were talking to kate beckensale is this a joke with the with the eggs i didn't get it was not a joke i didn't hear the end of it and i was like is something going on i don't know about well what happened was kate beckinsale's jody i don't think um dana knows yet i don't know i'm hearing it now the story so kate beckinsale the actor from england very uh very beautiful obviously also very um funny like kind of weird you know and like funny like in a way you wouldn't expect her daughter's boyfriend laid a couple of eggs not in the same night um like over the course of a few weeks uh an egg which i saw a photograph of and it looked it looked like a yellow egg it was hard to tell this could possibly be a big story if it's true it could be a big story it and it i still haven't gotten to the bottom of it but something that looked like an egg came out of his is um intestines and she showed me a picture of it it was pretty gross it was hard to tell what the size was because there was no point of reference it wasn't like somebody's hand was in there but it looked like an egg and then it happened again a few weeks later and they don't know what it was they don't know why it happened and um they ruled out sexual play as a cause of it they they don't know what it was he didn't swallow a whole egg it was so the flexing to all of the first thing would be maybe something was up there and then ultimately came out my guess is it was some kind of gelatinous mass that accumulated in his body sickening this is not the fun ending where where is the world gone i mean really where has it gone do i understand there was a johnny would love that in your rectum you hear about that ed because the story was like 20 minutes i'm like get to the part where you're joking i'm like where is this going this was not a joke it was you know what it was really for me i wanted to hear the whole story so that after we put it on youtube somebody would solve the mystery yeah yeah yeah what happened no i forgot about it i didn't bother to look i'm gonna look because i was going i used to know her a little bit i'm like i do know she does jokes and stuff but that one it was too it wasn't really a joke because she was going too long i'm like well there was a picture of it too so right that's where i started okay i jumped out but i go i'm gonna just wait and ask jimmy now if kate beckinsale fabricated that photograph which was disgusting by the way i give her even more credit because that's an extreme that she went to that's an annie kaufman like situation yeah yeah that's something that's something a little extra special but i do think it's interesting when david you say things like yeah i used i knew her a little bit and it makes me think oh what did you do to her david spade no we used to be friends yeah what do you mean know her i don't really know a little bit no i same thing as you i'd see her out and she was always saying like um very sharp like mean funny comments right she was like i have a sense of humor too even though i'm really pretty so but that was fine but she would do jokes on my instagram and stuff like that you know like i see make fun of me that was it um but i have more questions for you that's not over yet jimmy do you have any interest in 3-1 atlas in 3-1 atlas the big monster spaceship coming to america that's supposed to be a comet uh i don't know anything about it you don't jimmy but i'm now interested it's coming specifically to america or it might hit any part of the of the planet i thought you knew about this um 3-1 atlas which this should be most of your monologue it is a comet okay and a lot of people from nasa a lot of people are saying um that uh it doesn't look like a comet they think it's a spaceship oh and it's on its way and when it goes around the sun they'll know more about it they said okay that was about a month ago and they said it doesn't do anything a comet does it slows down it speeds up it zigzags they're like this could be the mothership and so it is sort of a story but does it look like a scientific community there's a few people that sort of went along with it so what if it's the egg up the butt you're not connected i'm gonna text k that'd be great i can sail right now just because the egg thing and the rocket ship let's see what she says yeah see what she says about that i you know what david i uh you have my curiosity peaked i did not know about uh 3-1 atlas i did have lazy writers they might know i did have a um long conversation about ufos with my guest the night uh last night paul anka um who is uh very into ufos more so the the singer the singer i was watching his thing last night my way yeah yeah oh his yeah he watched his documentary last night yeah he he's really into ufos and um you know we discussed various theories like including that they all are under the sea that that's where they i think a lot of them come from the ocean yeah now are you a ufo guy david yeah sort of i mean just for something to do to seem interesting dana are you um i'm more i i like astrophysics like i like you know what are the odds that the earth exists and that we're on it I guess right now it's$2 trillion to$1.

33:47So they're looking for seeding, which would be 2001, a space odyssey. Because the bacteria, how it got here, the oceans came from comets. And how it was all stacked, it's$2 trillion to$1 that we're here. And that fascinates me. Yeah. Well, yeah, because I think we are here. I just blew his mind, man. Yeah, you did. I mean, I really didn't realize you were that smart. These are the same odds as the Jets winning the Super Bowl.

34:13Hire me. i'll fill out that monologue boom boom yeah let's go with his guest writers does molly ever watch you molly's jimmy's wife reading your jokes in the morning and you scratch one out and she goes well what's wrong with that one um we do have some things like that but i will tell you um and she'll be horrified that i told you this story she was very mad at you once because um she wrote a bit that you liked um for the show when you're a guest on the show okay and um they worked on it for a long time and you seemed to be into it in the dressing room and you guys like kind of worked it out the whole thing and then once you got on the air you looked you looked at whatever the piece of paper and you're like oh this is not funny i'm not gonna do it no way they were going wild backstage like god damn it host yeah when no when you're a guest on the show yeah when you're a guest really yeah what an asshole yeah they did it's not like me but plus i like molly it sounds so much like you it sounds exactly no molly helped me when i did the one where where i was the talent coordinator and julie bone was there and i was the new talent coordinator yeah i was asking her interviewing her pre-interview that i liked i thought that was funny all right i'll tell her i'll let her know and she helped me with that but she's over it she's over it but it was uh you know i love that story because i don't know what it is and when you tell me and then i realize it's true and i find out more i'll be like oh yeah yeah what a prima donna well it's you know what it's when you have that kind of talent you're you're entitled to be a prima donna from time to time well i i think the only problem would have been if i think i wasn't good in or something i was like i could not sometimes stuff gets written for me even on the old show and i'd be like i don't think i can pull this off like it's good i'm just not as good in it as i thought i'd be something yeah we saw that play out in real time yeah i can kill you you don't just go along with what i say it's just say i'm a super talent it's all it all sounds very logical have you what are the people who've sat in that chair yeah man or woman where the the charisma or their beauty or whatever that was just vibrating a little almost like distracting oh yeah that does happen from time to time it is interesting yeah some people just like have this this thing and the audience just gets wild like first of all when there's like a good-looking guy especially a young guy on the show good-looking guy but you look around the audience you realize oh half of these women think they might fuck him like they they're here to potentially be pulled out of this audience to be fucked by this guy yeah and they And I think that's something that only women have, like that thought.

37:01Like we wouldn't show up to see Gal Gadot and think like, she's going to pull me out of the audience. They rarely like stop at a commercial and go, this is a little unorthodox. But this gorgeous woman in the fourth row, could she come backstage with me right now? And you're like, oh. The main tell of this is like women will chase teen idols, like obviously the Beatles, chasing them. But you never see men chasing a woman and screaming. No, because they'd be arrested. exactly you know they would be arrested and if they are chasing them they're probably gay i mean let's be honest you know let's be honest let's be honest i love let's be honest about everything uh i get it because sometimes when we were on snl by the way this isn't really even an snl podcast anymore we do whatever but well when we were on there and you would meet a host when i saw like sharon stone even alec baldwin's first time in the meeting i would think to myself this person is a movie star like this has star quality they're great looking they sound cool the way they walk it and there's some i thought were just flatlining here's a list no i'm kidding but um there's some where you go i don't even get this at all i don't know you know you remember that david where it's the the host has come in on monday and they come to your office and they go robert mitchum would like to meet you like what charlton heston is down there you're just walking you open the door and then you're meeting these iconic people it's just very surreal i would say that the the best answer to that question is probably oprah who yeah i could see that i didn't get the whole oprah thing for much of my life in fact i did a show called the man show that was designed specifically to counteract Oprah and uh my ex-wife my ex-wife would watch Oprah and then I'd walk in I'd come home from work and she'd be yelling at me for something she saw on Oprah and I was like who is this Oprah why is she ruining my life like it was it became personal with me yeah and and but when she you know I think that we did the show for like 10 years before we had her on the show and i was like oh wow i get it now because she was like she just was a presence it was almost a religious experience for everyone there and she was so she understood what she was to everybody and she gave them that thing and she like we had i think we shot a bit with oprah that was a really really funny bit it started at five o 'clock in the morning and it went till very late at night it was an all it was more than an all day thing it was a whole bunch of setups and we and the day started with oprah in my bathtub in my dressing room like that's how that's how the day started so we spent the whole day together and then you know you'd expect after a 17 hour day that oprah would hightail it the fuck out of there but instead oprah got a bottle or a couple bottles of very expensive tequila and she gathered everyone on the crew and everyone together and gather around and gave this beautiful toast to everyone and then took pictures with everyone and then then and only then when she had like interacted with every single person there did she get in the car and leave and i was like ah now i understand some people get that they're a big and they this is the only time people see them and they make it like a nice thing yeah yeah some people really understand that and i've had experiences in my life before i was on television where i've i've met people and who meant a lot to me and then didn't then they were always cordial or whatever but when you don't get that kind of like you don't get warmth back you don't get anything really back it's it's disappointing and um you know i always feel like i never want to be that uh that person who disappoints there is a force field there was an actress i was doing some tom hicks anyway long story short and i was approaching the table there were other people and i just wanted to say hello and i just saw the radar come up like oh and i sort of i just waved you know because there are certain people are so famous that they're it's exhausting for i just got to tell you you know it's like you meet paul mccartney i'm sure you've met him several times i just got to tell you what you meant to me yeah and it's hard i mean i saw jimmy stu i met jimmy stewart and at an event you know afi kirk douglas salute and i got i was young i just had been on snl for a few months and i walked over to jimmy stewart and he grabbed my hand and he just said I know, I know.

41:45Wow. I mean, he heard it. He did so much. But that's what I learned about show business. Around the table, people are talking, you know, and they kind of said, yeah, Jimmy Stewart, not working much anymore. And I go, then you can't fucking win show business. Yeah. There's no winning. He's 83. I'm not getting a nap. Someone goes, is he still in the business? And you go, oh, my God. Yeah, it's tough. if you see people come up they're a little nervous they got their phone and you just skip the middle part and you go you want to take a picture it sounds so cocky but it is what they want but they're just too it takes the eight minutes in the middle out so i had a guy i had a kid who was like looking at me and he had his phone and i was like uh i was had i was had like a hockey rink or something and uh um and i just see him doing it and i was just like hey uh you want to take a picture he's like what i said do you want to take a picture he goes no you just you got you have mustard all over your face i know i was like oh okay but i did go back to jimmy stewart after the dinner was over and um and he goes well you already already said hello to me what the fuck do you want from me jesus i go god it's a wonderful life not i just did that for jimmy when you go to like one of these parties it's kind of show busy and then you see someone you're like you do partially part of you wants them to like somewhat or know what you do and when they don't it's such a blank stare it's like oh i mean it's nice to meet them but you kind of wish they saw something i did on tbs at some point on a rerun and said yeah hey weren't you some guy and some stupid shit it is funny what you don't want like you're like oh i don't want to be bothered i don't want to put it and then you're like oh you know you know who i am right dude it's like everyone in the dmb line talks to you and then you get up to the lady and she doesn't know you and she's like this isn't gonna work and i'm like don't like you should be the one that's fawning over me to help me but the one person that matters doesn't give a fat fuck and they're like yeah back of the line start over i'm like god yeah i'm most embarrassed most ashamed of myself when I start dropping things in front of my kids friends you know like look at who texted me Olivia Rodrigo that is a good one you go to someone younger you're like oh I guess we got Sidney Sweeney on the show tonight yawn she's coming in yeah yawn you add that we all sound like assholes Refresh your good vibes with Tic Tac.

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45:31closest friend in show business. Yeah. Or one of the closest. You seem to be, you're very social. Jesus doesn't count. It counts. Yeah. Who's my closest? Well, is there a kind of a posse with Jennifer Aniston and you and Jason Bateman? And there's a group of friends. I had dinner with them all last night. Seriously? Did you see them all? At Tower Bar? Yes. With Paul Anka. And it's funny. we were just talking about a second ago because cindy lauper happened to be there and she came up to the table and we were excited to see her she drove all night and paul was um happy to see her and paul said hey you know i covered time after time on one of my albums and she had no idea she's like you did he said yeah i did and uh then he said i'll send it to you and she goes I'll look it up.

46:27I owe that guy five grand. I owe Paul Anka five grand. What did you do? Kevin Pollak had a birthday party in Vegas. We had a room playing blackjack. I'm terrible. Paul Anka comes in. I have$500 in my spend. He sits next to me and he starts coaching me in blackjack. You got to whack it, whack it, split it, whack it, whack it. Within a half hours up to five grand. I did it my way. but i've never publicly thanked paul anka well i feel like you should you should get to keep some of that shouldn't you since it was your money that you're investing what if he just took it and walked away but he was kind of brilliant at i bet he's probably banned from the tables or something i don't know in that documentary he's in vegas all the time yeah he spent he lived in vegas for a very long time it was very cool to hear him talk i mean my way is obviously a huge one i was thinking what is sinatra's most well-known hit is it my way new york new york or other i think it's i could talk about him all night in the night and uh strangers in the night it's got to be my way it it's my way okay can i just as a fan out for a second yeah you know late night and car stereos are fucking nuts right uh got you under my skin is so brilliant and the way he sings and the lyrics and also the moon the summer wind summer wind is very up go through of it you know he died in my arms you know that story right frank sinatra died in your arms i was in cedar sinai getting a stent in those days and um and then there was this hubbub i was just reading a magazine it was like midnight ago frank sinatra just checked in and uh he was in the room next to me they took him down to the icu and he passed away that night wow but before that in your arms well before that i just snuck out of my room and kind of knocked and go you know we had a moment did you sing that's life you know i just want to tell you that's a little you go you should take a selfie but it was like too late because they're like just real quick who do you mind mr sinatra i just have to tell you just real quick i just gotta tell you i gotta tell you i gotta i like to go the fang senatra just checked in like it's a hotel oh well it was just sort of surreal right just how crazy i know why was i there that night when he was everyone's got stories like i had a bunch of nobodies have you ever had a poltergeist you ever had a uh out-of-body ghost experience jimmy me it's weird you say that with uh when you're talking about hospitals because the reason no i haven't the reason i don't believe in ghosts is because i feel that if there was such a thing there would be hundreds of thousands of them in every hospital because that's where people die and it would just be like you wouldn't be able to get into the elevator there would be so many ghosts and yet i've never seen or even heard a report of a ghost at a hospital hmm yeah that's good theory hmm yeah have you we just cracked the story about this i i had a way either a waking dream state but we're i was this san jacido ranch hotel with my wife in the 80s so we just go to sleep and then um i feel this pressure pulling me back in the mattress like pushing on you in the middle of the night pushing down on me i what the fuck so i get up i use the restroom.

49:57I'm adrenalized. Like what a weird dream. I just assumed intellectually I was in a waking dream state, sleep paralysis, they call it. And then when I went back in, I thought I was as awake as I am right now. And then it started again and it was aggressive and it was pounding and holding me back. And I was like really flipped out. So middle of the night, 3 AM, my wife's asleep. This is why we've been married a long time. I tapped her on the shoulder. and I said, we got to leave. And she said, okay. She didn't even ask why. No explanation. Well, then I explained it to her and there was a painting of a little girl with curly red hair on a tricycle from like 1880.

50:40That flipped me out. Nope. And we left. And then it was, there was a stormy night and there was either a rat or some kind of animal on the road. And so anyway, that happened to me. And I just talked to someone recently who had the same paralysis, but then when they got up to go to the bathroom, they were standing and the thing was pushing against them. Oh, wow. Wow. It's just sort of, I don't have an explanation for it, but it never left me as far as just like, what the fuck? Wow. Yeah. No, I never had anything. Nothing ever happens to me. Do you feel any pressure on this podcast? Like you can't get out.

51:16You've already done a 14 hour day. You feel like David Spade is on your chest. I wonder if I learned that you guys are ghosts and I just sat here for an hour with two ghosts. I just go to, how do we get here? Why are we here? What's going on here? So then it sort of opens my mind like, what the fuck? What are we doing here? It is, yeah. I don't know if there's an answer, though. There is. But aliens. We're just here. Yeah, maybe we came on the earlier comet. What's under the pyramids? Go. dirt okay you got that one right that was lucky okay i would say walt disney's head is underneath the pyramids no i have a lot of talk i'm gonna save it he's a ufo pyramid guy i'm more now i think the pyramids go down deep and i think there's things down there and they they're kind of like antennas i don't know it's all weird it's just something to do it's better than drugs can i just mention very quickly before we wrap up which is we're living in a science fiction world in that these giant companies are building these data centers to get super intelligence that will supposedly solve cancer and energy and so we're in the middle of this thing that is like a science fiction movie and the energy they need and how vast it is in the i mean what yeah well yeah we're in a lot of trouble there's no question about it hopefully the all the energy that ai needs hopefully ai will figure out how to provide all the energy and if it is something that we should all fear it probably will figure that out for itself but in the meantime it's uh not great for people who like to have their air conditioner on in the summer right isn't it weird that i never thought about like the idea that it took power to do any of this stuff like i was like what power is this i'm writing in like give me a synonym for um cheerios and uh you know coming back with a list of them this is what i use it as a thesaurus and then there's some data center somewhere that is that requires a huge amount of energy to do all this shit who knew yes you go on uh sora i i have sora pro you make up a video it goes all the way to a data center and then it gets inside the data center and the gpus all the chips and there's inference which makes it intelligent and that's where it's exponentially going to increase anyway i find it fascinating a little scary but yeah they need energy they need it so much so much smarter than I imagined, especially when it lined up right next to David.

54:04I'm about the same as what you thought. Yeah, a little less. There's a little less. Well, this is a Christmas theme. I didn't want to bring it up, but he's green and I'm red, and it's sort of our own little joke. There's Dana's tree behind him. Oh, I like that. You have to have a plant. When you do your podcast, you've got to have a fake plant. You do have to have one. And David, I notice you have a little rocket ship behind you. Is that representative of your UFO fascination? No, I don't think so. I think we just rotate things around back there. I see. They're just general. There's props. Yeah, there's books.

54:38He's got a cool set. Here's my last question. Yeah. Okay. What's your next, when we go, goodbye, Jimmy, what's your next one hour like? Yeah, where do you go? Podcasts? I will go change out of the suit. I will take it off my suit. Yep. I will. Take a bath. I will go home. and i live about 15 minutes away nice and i will catch my kids before they go to sleep and then my son will demand that i lay with him which he makes me do each night and i will lay with him in bed until he falls asleep usually i fall asleep before he does and then i have to wake back up and go do my homework which is kind of miserable but he's eight years old he still likes me to lay in bed with him until he falls asleep and even though we feel he's too old for that um we love it so uh we don't want to you know we don't really want it to stop i think eight is fine i think 18 we could talk i did it so probably nine eight is fine you know love him up do you read books to him and stuff like that we are well we read children's books but also we've been reading we are we just finished book four of harry potter oh which i had not read before right and uh then that that's um that's fun that's uh my daughter my son and i that's our like our thing and then at the end of each book we will watch the movie and then what oh yeah i mean harry potter is is brilliant for what it is and it's generational now so when do you actually go lights out like what can you get a sleep after all this stimulation like by 9 30 or 10 kind of no i'll go to better later than that usually around 11 30 or so last night i think i was up till 12 30 because we went out to dinner but um yeah i'll get to bed i don't you know i i like to stay up left to my own devices i would be up until four o 'clock in the morning every night and i'd wake up at noon but um that's not um realistic for me so you're nocturnal i am yeah genetically yeah i think just like i have a loud italian family and it was the only time it was quiet in the house was late at night after everyone had gone to sleep so that was my like my time to watch letterman and and just kind of stay up and work on little projects that's john travolta's thing is the world stops and it's very quiet and he's nocturnal i think he's up pretty much all night and then sleeps i'm actually up with john travolta together yeah talking about flying planes you know jimmy kim will come over and you know we spoon a little bit but there's nothing going on we just like being up late at night together that's him from 1975 that's the rock and rolling what night guy that's that's my john travolta right there yeah i like that wow him and vinnie barberino yeah and you know pulp fiction i you just love love that guy and he's the nicest celebrity i've ever met of a superstar he is very nice yeah yeah he's super nice yeah most of them are you know most i mean i'm sure like everybody's got their own things but i have this i've kind of over the years i just kind of go like oh okay well even if he is pretending to be nice he's pretending to be nice and that's um being nice that is actually being nice yes i agree that's a good way to look at it like that maniac tom cruise he come he was on our show and it was one of these things like tom has to be out of here at 6.04 if tom it goes one second over 604 you are you know he will never be you know they were very very very adamant and we're like okay don't worry we're gonna be uh now tom uh being tom cruise seems to have no idea of this and decides to go into the audience and greet every single person which they are over the moon about they are absolutely out of their minds with joy but it takes a you know a very long time and it turns out whatever that deadline was wasn't so hard after all wow they they they're all scared of their job that i've seen that all over the place and then the actual person goes i don't even know what you're talking about yeah right yeah that seems so tom cruise yeah to go in and meet every person i mean the drive of this guy is just my i mean i You go to every movie.

58:58He's hanging off the plane. He's holding his breath for six minutes. I mean, you just go for the spectacle of what he's putting himself through physically to entertain you. Yeah, now that I think about it, maybe the reason, yes, maybe it's all this being nice to everybody all the time and greeting all these people. Maybe that is why he's trying to kill himself on film. Yeah. He's like an old school movie star, but you don't really see him. And then when he comes out, he saves all his energy. and then he's super nice to everyone and very energetic and then he hides again because yeah the old days we were talking you didn't see cary grant on tiktok that much you didn't see all these people and then they were kind of stars then you saw their movie and then they disappeared and now it's everyone's everywhere they call him the last movie star but he rejects the title you know i think you know brad pitt uh this summer and tom cruise it's kind of cool guys in the early 60s looking great being action stars and still at the top of their game you know yeah still hard as a rock in the sack yeah i'm sorry oh sorry did i say that yeah yeah muscular we were all thinking it if you take a tom cruise and you take uh you know brad pitt in the musculature of the and the abs and all the doubts.

1:00:21We love Jimmy. Thank you for doing this. This next hour and hang out with your son. And thank you for coming on. If you like, I could just bring the zoom and we could just, I could try, we could, I could drive home with me. You could see what's going on there. And maybe always lots of laughs. We always crack up every time on your show, we crack up the whole time. So it's great to see you. And thank you, buddy. It's great to see you guys. Thank you, Jimmy. You guys are the best. And David, if I see you walking, I'm going to pounce. Yeah, do a bit, dude, for sure. I'm so embarrassing in the real world, so just do something.

1:00:59It'll be for sure embarrassing to me. All right, thanks, buddy. Thanks, Jimmy. Bye, Dana. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming on my podcast.

1:01:12Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Matty Sprung-Kaiser, and and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

1:01:47Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us. Any questions to be asked and answered on the show, You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.