New Fly Merch + Trump Arrests Jimmy Stewart and Christopher Walken??

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2:12Dana Carvey:Wow. Do you notice? Welcome. Yeah, welcome to the flawed flask. Welcome to, you can guess. Look at this shit. By the way, I'm so freaking ripped. No, the problem is My shoulders I had removed for a movie And so it doesn't look like I'm that strong But Well, these are roomy I mean, they're friendly, these things They're, you know They're not for showing off muscles Oh yeah, the merch has landed The merch has landed They said it couldn't be done Everyone said it You're never going to get merch You're never going to get merch So, you know, I've got smartless sweatsuit i've got a kona needs a friend sweatsuit i what what do we get i've got um stavros moccasins okay i've got theo von fucking banana clip for my hair scrunchies yeah i have a i've got uh giggly squad scrunchie that was a yeah yeah i've got amy polar good hang um just sort of sandals that I gave to my wife.

3:27Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I've got a Joe Rogan yo-yo. So I've got everything, but this is the one thing I was missing is our own show. Look it. The best part is this. Little spade carver right there. You see it?

3:43Dana Carvey:Is that in there? Very tiny? That's cool, yeah. I can't do it backwards, but yeah, there it is. Even though fly's good, then on the wall's a little smaller. I have to walk you through it. These colors are blue Various shades, my favorite color I'm wearing a blue t-shirt Coincidence? Dismissed as chance And what is it called when you do that? It's like a color pattern A little dash of blue around your neck I mean Riz? I live in the country I don't really know your strange city You're unfrozen caveman country guy now You know, guess what? We're having our, this is kind of exciting Our septic tank Oh The poo is going to be sucked out Sometime during the podcast Oh We should go live We called them early And they go No that's still got some room to run Unless you got some gastro and testicle issues out there So we wanted to get it sucked out early Rather than have a barbecue And have them go What is that?

4:42Oh smell? So you got room to run What does it mean room to run in your pipes?

4:48Dana Carvey:The septic tank probably is six months away from overflowing. We decided to err on caution. Can you empty it now? So they're coming soon. Oh, I don't really understand what a septic tank... I think I had one in Malibu, and they talk about during the fires, a septic tank, they're going to sewer now. I'm like, I don't quite get it. It's poop floats in a bag in your yard for a while. I think that's... No, it's a giant tank, and all the poop is directed to it. It's buried under the ground It's a poop tank It's buried under the ground And then Lovely It gets cleaned out And that's So you're not connected to But anyway Back to our merch I didn't want to do a D2 I'm going to stand up for a second Because this is People have been Oh no I don't know I'm going to You stay seated Okay Oh look at that Tot stripe Fly Oh that is cool Lift it up You can't hear me There's the fly.

5:50Okay, good. Yeah, that is good. We should have done a collab with the running man because you look like the running man there. Glenn Powell is Dana Carvey.

6:04Dana Carvey:Glenn Powell is Arnold Schwarzenegger in the running man part two. I like this. This looks cool, man. The fly down the leg. I think it's cool. Well, how do we get the, how do the folks. Oh, I'll tell you. here's what you do you it's a limited time we're dropping exclusive Fly on the Wall merch only until November 13th holy shit man what a time limit okay we need final confirmation but it looks like it's gonna be a hoodie matching sweatpants you showed t-shirts this is not it but we have t-shirt trucker hat mug which you're good at doing I stole your joke oh Woo. My God. We don't mug. You have to go to shopflyonthewall.com.

6:57That is shopflyonthewall.com. That's all. That's all you do.

7:06Dana Carvey:And I'm just going to say, Christmas is coming up. It's coming up. I'm not going to put the two together. I'll let you guys decide that. There's literally no better present. they're soft they're cozy and they're kind of sexy is that going too far it's very sexy yeah we're right we're breaking sex appeal uh meters in japan it's going all over is my name literally on there is it yeah you can't see it

7:39Dana Carvey:Have you had merch before? You have merch because you have Heather Oh, I did have some merch for the Not even the tour It was sort of Joe Dirt I've never had merch Well, I did sell Churchly posters back in the 80s Back at a card table, a median Because Lauren didn't want to do any merchandising It's not what we do. We're Bob Dylan here. Don't need extra money. Now it's like, yada, da, da, da, da. They got conehead oven mitts at the SNL store. Hey! But Lauren, Lauren Lovitz was the one who told Lauren, Dana and Salah and Virgin Diet, you know, because I own the church lady. Oh, he ratted you out.

8:25Dana Carvey:He's making a lot of money. And Lauren said, really? yeah because when i was there at the nbc store they had like the liar like greeting cards they had uh uh love it's when he plays the devil oh yeah everything yeah they had the receptionist when i got a greeting card i was like receptionist got a greeting card you fucking know it wow that blows my mind and it don't be so shocked how many times was it on the show it was like oh i heard it's your birthday i've been so crazy lately i don't even remember anyway how old are you again right how many times was i a guest on the receptionist you were an alien in one i only did mc hammer roseanne and maybe that's it maybe one more i tried to get one with paul mccartney when Alec Baldwin hosted and we couldn't get the script to him for him to pass on.

9:27Dana Carvey:And so, yeah, he'd be coming in, I'm here to see Steve Buckner. You know, you're like, and you are. Right. And what was the band name? McCartney. How do you spell that? Paul McGinty, yes. Capital C, M, capital C. He's like, and I go, I'm not really. But also the one with the big mix up with David Bowie. Remember that one? uh episode 391 408 g when i asked bowie to be in it and he loved it and then i had to call him about it and he said i love it i'm 100 in if we could do a tiny tweak and we switch characters you play me i play the guy by the way that was dana before it was even on yet once and so i said i didn't want to give it up because it was like a character i wanted to do and he immediately was like okay well i had the same thing you know um who was it mccartney when he was on the show he we did church lane read through he said you mind if i play the lady did he really i like to play the lady he would be good he would be better because in britain you know there's a lot of you know drag and benny healing stuff so could i play the church lady i already done it for a year i had merch it didn't make it past dress but he he did play the church lady oh my god special the the readings were slightly different than i expected well who who could that be satan you know it didn't have the same maybe yeah he goes who he's very nice about it also did he say the word plunk in it That's directly from an interview with him I saw it John and I sat down for a plunk Yeah We'd start plunking away And I was like, oh my god Beethoven and Mozart sat down for a tinkle I know A little I have to say that if we get Paul back I have another question Which you ought to know the answer Because you're the fanatic But I just saw a clip on Twitter of The rumored story that jimmy hendrix heard sergeant pepper's and a day later they went to see him and he had memorized it and played it for him and it is jimmy hendrix playing sergeant pepper right yeah live and i don't know if that's right away or what but it was so cool to hear it and he knew the words and shit you have any prompters well sergeant pepper came out on like a wednesday or thursday and they saw him that weekend or something but yeah the riff of sergeant pepper is not very complicated but for jimmy to make it jimmy hendrix he did it jimmy hendrix and it was just super heavy but you know look at those heavyweights the beatles no less come to see you the stones are there and i think pete towns the whole town came to see jimmy hendrix and you bust out sergeant pepper oh my god i know well hendrix is a freak what he could do he had giant hands he played the guitar upside down the sound he could get out of the guitar is just not normal you know you have your jeff becks you have your eric clapton's you know um your eddie van halen's uh ed ed ed van halen and jeffrey beck uh erica clapton you know all these guys and james hendrix uh Sorry, sorry, Gen X I call him Jimbo Looks like one generation had music that was a little bit better Run away, Gen X, with your Taylor Swifts Oh, no I'm worried about Post Malone and now Jelly Roll of Lost Weight We'll get back to that I met Jelly Roll, one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my life Literally at SNL last fall just a sweetheart of a person i'm glad that his he got some weight loss that make him feel better i'm at cucumber roll at a uh sushi place okay that was what i was just exactly trying to think jelly roll what would be the joke so you went to cucumber roll i think one time on the podcast i called him jellyfish and i kept saying it wrong accidentally well i called him donut hole for the first part of the week hey donut hole i love that new song she's my my new my new i called him fuck face accidentally i was like wait what is it yeah i call him i said to him i said i want you to take one step back and literally fuck your own face oh boy where's that from tom cruise yep Tropic Thunder.

14:21Tropic Thunder. Wowee.

14:22Dana Carvey:One of the funniest lines ever. Okay, shop. Get some of these. Yeah. We got to plug it. I like it. I think it's cool as shit. Comedy royalty, Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana in Heads Will Roll, Air Apparent, the highly anticipated sequel to Audible's fan favorite original comedy series. She's flanked once more by co-star Emily Lynn and a new star-studded ensemble, including Richard Kind, Laurie Metcalf, Jimmy Fallon, Megan Mullally, Sam Richardson, and Carrie Kuhn, plus an extensive cast of comedy greats. Seriously extensive. This is wall-to-wall comedy at the highest level. When we last left our gloriously unhinged queen and her raven sidekick Jojo, the unlikely besties had fled to the woods for a simpler life.

15:09Wow, it did not last. Queen Moe is back on the throne, an heir apparent and facing her greatest challenge yet. Produce and air before her 40th birthday or lose everything and spend eternity as keeper of the menstruary.

15:24Dana Carvey:It's a very sticky sitch. Meanwhile, Jojo's botched wing enhancement surgery turns her into a toad, leading to unexpected interspecies romance and a choice between royal duty and normal life. With her thrown on the line, Mo and Jojo embark on an increasingly unhinged scheme to secure succession. Part medieval mayhem, part razor-sharp social commentary, heads will roll, heir apparent, is fantasy comedy for the ages. It has everything. Trad wives, polycules, Sasquatch mercenaries, milk people, toad-on-mole romance, a child named Barbara. Seriously, everything, David. When was the last time you heard of a child named Barbara?

16:13Well, don't miss a moment of Kate McKinnon and the Killer Cast and Heads Will Roll Air Apparent. Seed a child or seed the throne. Listen to Heads Will Roll Air Apparent, available now on Audible. Go to audible.com slash Heads Will Roll Series to start listening today.

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17:02Dana Carvey:Will you wear it? Now, that's the thing. For me and you to wear it out, Heather will wear it. if i wear it i might my i have to go on the road again i might wear it dude i just did i just did we didn't have a show last week apologies i did a week with adam for fun they don't like you to say you're on these shows because they change them so much that right sometimes i can't go to i had to cancel in the middle so anyway so to go to the shows quickly was just fun overall. We did five states, seven days. And Nick Kroll jumped on some. Swartzen, Sarah Sherman. Sounds fun. Fortune was on the one right before I got there.

17:50Fortune. Whitley, I think is her name. She was really funny. And who else? Oh, and then Schneider. Schneider and I switched. And then in Las Vegas, I sang a song. And Schneider opened. And the next night, I did a set.

18:05Dana Carvey:Wait a minute. You're singing. I don't hear you singing much. That's right, Dana. Can we have a 10-second example of you singing? How do you sing? When I'm a Russian cosmonaut named Yuri. Oh, coming down out in the harness and everything? No, I didn't have to do that. I wore a spacesuit, though. Yeah, okay. And so the singing like Russian guy, I'm Russian astronaut. I have fun in this spaceship every time. Yes. I have to do it for It's when I It's called Space Station 69 I go But my favorite part of space I go I look through telescopes And instruments to fix But my favorite part of space Is when we suck each other's dicks Now we're in zero gravity Spinning round and round It's a well written song By Dan Roola and Adam Is it the same one he did on the one special yeah i did yeah i've done it once before but i always talk about it because it makes me laugh and then and uh vegas he goes why don't you do it tonight and then rob which i said hell yeah super fun and then i mixed it up i came out too early it was a total disaster but it was so funny because hey i can't sing b mistakes are funny not supposed to sing i walk out early and i'm in my whole astro you can't tell it to me and i get to him and he's saying What are you doing here They sent me out He rushes his part Now it's you I lift my lid It's Spade I said the wrong line He said stay on the cards I hit a high note You hit a really good high note I'm going to try to get a clip Of me hitting the high note Oh my god If you do I saw the picture oh show that picture of me of the picture of me lifting the lid that's good we could show uh i didn't know i was going to talk about this but she has something um we'll come back to it but that was it so the tour the tour was fun it ended but i couldn't do the podcast because i can't do it i don't have the mental capacity people think you just open your laptop and do it that's hysterical i wish it was that easy look at these notes it's so funny it's so hilarious I have one story Well there's two things One I was a good boy I went and voted for There's a prop 50 What is it Dana?

20:41Right First of all Dana You have a special election What does that mean? I didn't think there was elections until midterms I know

20:50Dana Carvey:Sometimes they call for a special election If they get enough signatures For some referendum Or is this you? Gee, it's the happiest I've ever seen you That's one thing I'll say I've never seen all those teeth at once That's because the crowd's applauding And I drink it up You don't really smile that big That's hysterical Well, they don't know I'm there So when I come out in the middle of the show Oh, yeah, and you do the reveal And then they go He sings a song about In the audience There's always a guy That drinks at work And then they cut to people in the audience And there's just some lady there There's always a guy And there's always a lady That broke got her lost her virginity on a rocking horse or something.

21:30And they cut to some woman. So they just find people in the audience. And then they did one where somehow the guy looked like Kevin James and then Sandler stopped and made him stand up. And then he, it was Kevin James. And so the crowd goes, cause he's sitting in the middle of 13 ,000 people. And then he just stands up. Then he, then he goes, can I come up there, Adam? And he goes, I don't know. That's not really what we do. And then he walks up, grabs the guy's beer. And Adam goes, Kevin, you don't drink anymore don't drink and he goes and he just looks off camera and everyone tells him to do it he goes i'm sorry adam he chugs the whole thing and then he walks on stage and they

22:06Dana Carvey:sing a song very funny sounds like the greatest show i've ever it definitely is fun yeah well it sounds like a barely controlled mayhem a lot of miscues and an honest would love that eat it up okay go back so you're explaining to me what's a special election well special election sometimes there's a referendum or a whoop-de-doo or signatures to try to recall a governor or whatever, just a special election. So it came about through this proposition, 50, that would allow the Democratic Party in California to redraw lines because they kind of know where the conservatives and liberals are. So they can make districts in a way that they know that they will either be in Texas, they would do it for the Republicans.

22:50Dana Carvey:In California, they'll do it. So they create, by redrawing lines, they create more Democratic congressmen that will go to Washington. So that's what the referendum is about. And Obama came out. It's good to redistribute. And so what say you? What do I feel about it? I guess they've been doing it back and forth for a while. So this is sort of bound to happen. But I wish each state would just go by how many Republicans and how many Democrats. That would help even it out. But that's not really how it works. Well, yeah, it's congressional. I had a couple before. Congressional districts. But this game, I don't know when it started drawing these lines.

23:38Dana Carvey:It's gotten pretty absurd. It used to be kind of general. okay this this this area voted for this uh democrat or republican but then they can redraw it and slide down here and add some of their party and then yeah well i think the part that bothered me and it would bother me in texas too is when it's an extra 200 million to do it when no one's really asking for it's their idea it's like hey come on let's and it bothers me because my buddy's selling his house and he has to pay$750 ,000 off the top for homelessness. And you go, well, that's a hefty fee for homelessness. And especially when it's not guaranteed as we found in the last couple of years to go to that.

24:22It's not getting any better. It's getting worse. They lose some of this money and 750, I said, don't pay it, but you can't not pay it because it is so mandatory and legal, but it's not mandatory to pay it on two homeless. I mean, it's not, they passed, it's called a mansion tax. So the mansion tax.

24:43Dana Carvey:Yeah, I know that. Yeah. If you're in this certain area of LA County, it's a 1 % added, added on tax or something. I don't think it's. Or is it more 3 %? I think it's either three or 5 % worse. Yeah. So anyway, all complicated issues that just infuriate me because I just wish California would fix some fucking roads and just not keep. There's just so much money flying around. It's not helping everyday people. I'm not an everyday person. Let's take me out of it. It's just fucking infuriating. Yeah, I would say we call it infrastructure. We want water. We want power. We want clean, safe neighborhoods.

25:27Dana Carvey:We want potholes filled. All kinds of things that we pay for because we don't cheat on our taxes. We've got the same business manager. We're being very honest. We pay extra, extra because we're like, oh, we don't want to get busted. I'm like, who cares? Like, is everyone going by the letter of the law anymore? That's what I get sick of. Fucking shit. Everyone's bending shit. Anyway, I won't bog you down with that, but that's what's going on. And I did hear another story that Jennifer Lawrence, speaking of politics, says, I'm not going to talk about politics anymore. I saw that. I see that. I thought that was interesting that she said, it's just pointless celebrities talking about politics, people, it doesn't move the needle enough.

26:10She goes, and I want people because people get mad. Half the crowd gets mad, obviously no matter what side you're on. So she's like, I'd rather have that half still come see my movies because I don't want to alienate them. And they're like, Oh, I don't like that person that talks shit. So I'm not going to, so that's,

26:30Dana Carvey:Yeah, I think she'd say it a lot. I think it is a reverse thing. I think the Democrats made a mistake. They had all these superstar people up there. So then they're lecturing people how they should vote. And you're like, wait a minute. So you get to have a billion dollars or 500 million. You fly in a private jet. You're either the former president of the United States or you're a movie star. And you tell me how to vote. It's a little bit like, whoa, too much then. You know, I think it backfired. I don't think most people would vote. Well, who am I going to vote for? Let me pick a random celebrity.

27:08Dana Carvey:Yeah, I don't know. I mean, who is, I'm trying to think of the most. Is anyone from Punky Brewster chiming in I could join in? Yeah, I know. Has Drew Carey said something yet? Yeah. When is he going to break his silence? I remember the Kamala thing where Megan Thee Stallion performed And I kept thinking, corporate gig Those are hard It goes back to me doing my corporate gig That's a tough crowd I just did one in Vegas Talk about your corporate gig I drove to Vegas for some reason I just got tired of being in an airport I kind of like that Fuck it, I'm driving And then I'm coming down the strip And the AI or whatever is going your destination is on the left so i look at it it's not the hotel and i go fuck it's rush hour in vegas so it's an hour to do the loop get on the 15 come back around it still says that's the right nation still on the left so i drove in there and it was the hilton not mine i go do you know where this hotel is and and he goes it's cross street so it was another 45 minutes so that was fun played to about 4 000 insurance people really really nice people but there was an hour speech before me a very nice woman that was very technical and and and she was a little you know it was just like you literally i did find a pin i was talking to the backstage people and i dropped it and you could hear it it was the deadest i got them going but it was a lot a lot of work Yeah, sometimes those things are always mean well.

28:53Sometimes they're really fun. And sometimes they tack it on at the end of like an eight-hour day, a work day, as a favor. Now there's some entertainment. They're trying to leave. And they're like, oh, oh, I have to sit through this joker.

29:05Dana Carvey:This was 1130 in the morning, which was fantastic. Oh. I got them going. But the room, they give you sometimes, they give you a suite I could run laps in. To be able to turn the lights off, just to get all the lights off. We just went through this. 45 minutes. I literally couldn't. And then it's too fantastical. You know, it's a workload and you get lost. I know it's first world. Don't write letters. But we hate you. We hate you. No, it's the difference between too much of a good thing. I was there with Heather and I'm like, I can't figure out how to get my lights off at night. And I can't figure out how to close them.