In short
The episode is a mix of travel mishaps, adult comedy stories, and “buzzing around” sketches, plus news and industry talk. It opens with sponsors (ADT home security, Wayfair) and then pivots to flight chaos: Heather describes a sick passenger coughing and blowing his nose next to her for hours, plus broken amenities (toilets/AC) and a “bomb scare” detour during a Nashville-to-Pittsburgh trip. Key guest-joke segment: a drunk older woman tells NC-17 jokes to David Spade mid-flight, including “jam and jelly” and “tampon” punchlines; Spade and others debate how “too rough for Busboys” the material is. Notable examples include the “shuffler ghost” at a Pittsburgh haunted hotel: at 6 a.m. someone hears shuffling on the carpet, turns on the light, and tries to sleep through it. Guests mentioned: Heather (co-host/comedian), Dana Carvey (referenced/impression), and David Spade (host). Other figures discussed: Jeff Ross, Trevor Wallace, Chris Rock (upcoming show), and news/industry voices about AI filmmaking (Stage Runner/Jason Fisher; Acme AI/Ryan and Matt Cavanaugh).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOBirthday Celebrations and Travel Mishaps
2:20 to 3:54
Dana and David discuss Heather's birthday and travel challenges.
“But weren't most of these jokes in Busboys?”
Flight Experiences and Germ Concerns
3:54 to 5:10
The hosts share funny and cringe-worthy airplane experiences.
“So I was going up and down for six hours.”
A Drunk Passenger and Her Jokes
5:10 to 7:20
David recounts a memorable encounter with a drunk lady on a flight.
“You know what Gervitz told me about that?”
PG vs. R-Rated Jokes
7:20 to 13:46
Dana and David discuss the differences in jokes shared on flights.
“So then, in the middle of flight, this is the real story here, Dan.”
Upcoming Comedy Shows
16:01 to 18:05
Dana and David discuss upcoming shows and special guests.
“Get yours in store and online at www.5hourenergy.com or Amazon today.”
Comedy Festivals and Competition
18:05 to 20:56
They explore the challenges of performing in comedy festivals.
“I know, because I think our friend, I love this, our good friend, Nate Bregazzi, I think he's doing the Intuit Dome.”
The Haunted Hotel Experience
20:56 to 22:39
David shares a spooky encounter with a ghost called the Shuffler.
“Or Vegas, you know, residency people come to see you.”
Nashville and Travel Tales
22:39 to 26:58
Dana and David recount their experiences and misadventures in Nashville.
Horse Adventures
26:58 to 28:00
David shares amusing anecdotes about his horses and their antics.
“That's a lovely way to spend your Friday evening in a thing they call gridlock, okay?”
Horse Antics and Life on the Farm
28:00 to 28:56
Dana shares a humorous story about horses and their playful behavior.
“Is it just zoomies or what do you think?”
Show all 22 chapters
Humorous Observations on Stud Farms
28:56 to 30:18
Discussion about the comedic aspects of stud farms and horse breeding.
“They want food and they want some action.”
Travel Tales and Complaints
30:18 to 31:15
David and Dana talk about their recent travels and the challenges faced.
Buzzing Around with Creative Improv
31:53 to 35:50
Dana and David engage in an improvised comedic sketch with various characters.
“Now remember, folks, these little riffs that David and I talked about, he gives me ideas, and there's nothing really written out.”
Feel-Good Story of a Heroic Principal
35:50 to 40:03
They discuss a principal who thwarted a school shooter and became prom king.
“Well, what I would do would be like, here, David, you have one, and then you would have one.”
Reflections on Films and Hollywood
40:03 to 42:00
Dana and David share thoughts on movies, editing, and their experiences in Hollywood.
“She's like, hey, man, it's kind of mandatory king and queen.”
Trump's Unique Vocabulary and Global Conflicts
42:00 to 43:39
Explore humorous insights into Trump's phrases and their implications in global conflicts.
“i'm like how about you get rid of the real ending and keep that well there's some brainstorming You're not afraid to kind of crack the whip when you need to.”
Sick on Flights and Comedy Gigs
47:58 to 55:19
A humorous discussion about getting sick on flights and the challenges of performing while ill.
“Hey, that was a really nice one you did.”
Conspiracies and Impressions
55:20 to 56:01
Dana and David joke about conspiracy theories involving impressions and public figures.
“We'll do a little bit of crowd work, work it back around.”
Impressions and Hollywood References
56:01 to 57:32
The hosts discuss Dana Carvey's past roles and impressions while reflecting on Hollywood.
“In 1990, Dana Carvey did a movie called Opportunity Knocks.”
The Impact of AI on Filmmaking
57:33 to 58:25
Discussion on how AI is changing movie production and its implications for jobs.
“Oh, this is a real thing to talk about, about the state of Hollywood.”
Automation and Extras in Film
58:26 to 1:00:14
Exploration of the effects of automation on film extras and behind-the-scenes jobs.
“So I spoke to the producers behind the film, Ryan and Matt Cavanaugh.”
The Reception of Independent Films
1:00:15 to 1:02:44
The hosts share thoughts on independent filmmaking and audience reactions to their work.
“It's hard to put the cat shit back in the cat, you know?”
Transcript
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2:19Dana Carvey:You did see NC, is that what they say? NC-17? NC-17, yeah. But weren't most of these jokes in Busboys? I'm just saying. No, these are too rough for Busboys. Honestly, it's too rough for Busboys. You get cute, it's not going to end. It won't end well for you. How'd that work out for them? How'd that work out for them? They got cute. I haven't heard get cute for so long. I'm getting tingly in my underpants. I feel funny like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. Garth is the horniest. We gotta get you in the gym. Fasten your seatbelt.
3:00Are we starting? It's Heather's birthday. That's what we're starting with.
3:03Dana Carvey:I know. Heather, are you excited? No, she got sick on that Galdang last run of gigs. She doesn't always come out, but she came out to Nashville. I saw Busboys with me and Theo, and then she flew back, and there was a guy hacking and snorting and coughing right behind her, and she saw it coming. He's right next to you. Oh, he's next to you. Mm-hmm.
3:35He just kept blowing his nose, digging in that filthy seat back, stuffing it back in.
3:41Dana Carvey:Knuckle deep. knuckle deep in that seat back filthiest place in the world soaking his wet hanky with more germs and freezing air on Heather can we turn this down sorry the pilot said we're gonna it'll get under control right now we have the toilets don't work we have no air conditioning but sit back and relax and then the person over here has their only person with their window open in pitch black so it's like giving you LASIK on the side oh she sent a picture in some of you can't really cover up from the germs like this yeah i bugged someone once because we were flying out of hawaii and i thought it was gonna be really mellow but then unfortunately two storms have converged on our path and so it was just rock and roll like you're at uh six flags you know so everyone's all locked in like that you know and so i kept once in a while i would peek just so i could see cloud formations and know where the turbulence was and when it might end.
4:43Dana Carvey:So I was going up and down for six hours. This woman said, yeah, you sure opened your window a lot. This is the actual line. After the fact, she hates you? Yeah, yeah. So you kept opening and then you closed it. Then you opened it again. How did you think? I said, I'm so sorry. I wish you told me. I wouldn't have done it. I just, I really like to go, whee, look, lightning. I told a woman, can you come over and look? and she goes hi is there any way and she's just staring with her window open and i see this the waitress go hi can you we have a cuspir and she goes like this says no i go are you even allowed to say no you have to every other bullshit thing even have a shoulder strap now and you go if we're going out i'm not i have to torque my neck get this shoulder yank it I go what is that helping we gotta get you in the gym fasten your seatbelt
5:46even my seatbelt I'm like I ratchet it down
5:50Dana Carvey:it's like you're an arm wrestling chant you know my thing what's your thing oh yeah this one yeah I just and I they always love I'll go back a little bit it kills gets on the plane does a seat belt there's a seat belt lock it but there's the tongue way out like so the seat belt is really loose and then i grab that as soon as the flight attendant looks at it yeah wrapped around like a rodeo go yeah seven seconds eight seconds all right that's hilarious
6:35Oh, why on God screener did I say yes?
6:46You know what Gervitz told me about that? He goes, Hey, a couple of hops, a couple of quick eight hour hops. And then I get 10%. Yeah, poor me. I got to go make some money. Oh, I'm great money. Meanwhile, Well, I'm sitting in my office. I get 10%. All I have to do is walk back down to my car, drive to my mansion.
7:07Dana Carvey:Stop the bombing. It's a short hop. Go on and you know you. You're the funniest guy in the world. That is me doing Edith Bunker. That's turning to Edith. What are you doing, Spade? Anyway. No, stop the bombing. Stop the bombing. It's another one. God love him. Anyway, what do we... Here's more. oh here's a good plane story two i have from the road okay oh heather was with me so i think you're on this one first of all we're leaving no we're leaving nashville to go to pittsburgh gig and elena's next to me and two things happen one is we're pushing off forever we're circling i'm like do they not know where the run you know it's like so long i always go are we gonna drive there and then uh yeah a couple people go yeah cool and then and then mid oh there's a bomb scare they go we have to go back there's a bomb scare in pittsburgh drive all the way back to the gate and then we get to the gate and we're like how are we going to get a car to get to this four hour drive and then they go up all good heading back out no idea you turn back out so we make it Okay.
8:25Screaky wheels. Yes. Oh, I see. Like in a shopping cart. So then, in the middle of flight, this is the real story here, Dan.
8:33Dana Carvey:I love it. Drunk lady. Ah! Nothing better. Slightly more mature, older. I'm torqued to talk to Elena, the other comedian. I don't realize, like alien, she comes right here. and she goes i got a joke for you by the way no one stopped her i don't know if she's coach first i don't know where i am i just fly in or she just leaned in or she leaned in leaned hand on this hand on my armrest lean in too close even i saw lane his eyes bug out like and she goes by the way this is nc 17 for people in your car is turned down so she says i got two jokes for you she's got a scratchy voice a little missed well i i'm getting a jason stratham vibe here for a second yeah it's just she's kind of rough and a little buzzed and i'm feeling like a little vodka crown on my neck yeah so she goes first one by the way i go like this huh so you know i can't torque my neck too fast and i don't want to i'm like she's like i'm feeling out what is the emergency yeah she goes i don't know if i told heather these she goes what's the difference between jam and jelly and i'm like uh oh uh i think one is made from real fruit and she goes you don't jelly a cock down your throat
10:10Dana Carvey:that's interesting that's a pretty good joke and it's pretty good throat and i go it makes sense i go out what yeah jam it down your throat i go
10:22oh the closest of the lips scratching me and then i go ah ah okay okay and then she goes she gives the laugh i donates it herself and then she goes okay one more i'm like are you on a roll is there any inkling you're killing so she goes all right she goes all right here we go one more now she's got all this confidence even though we didn't laugh she's on a roll in our language i'm not connecting yeah i'm not connecting eyes she's still we're both this way look give me your when
10:57Dana Carvey:she said that first punchline what what happens to your face do you make a sound you do faint smile or i go like blank but she can't really see it but i kind of oh she's leaning in over you i see i go like this oh okay okay she's here it's a little much yeah she's over but i'm like i kind of can't really see it but i go okay ah wow we okay like that was a little more than i thought she was like got you with that one i'm like i didn't react the right i didn't go You sure it wasn't Keith Richards? Because it's... Go ahead. Kind of like that. It sounded like... Okay. She, as if it doesn't get any worse, it's a tandem of bits.
11:39So she says, here's another one. What did the one tampon say to the other tampon? Walking down the street. And I go, hopefully nothing. Hopefully, because they can't talk. They're just walking peacefully.
11:56Dana Carvey:We're both stuck-up cunts. No. Wow. It's so bananas. Let's put a please stand-by thing on here just for a second. I know, I did. It's a rough one. You did see NC, is that what they say, NC-17? NC-17, yeah. But weren't most of these jokes in Busboys? I'm just saying. No, these are too rough for Busboys. Honestly, it's too rough for Busboys. It didn't play in my neighborhood, so I couldn't see it. I know. you saw the trailer and you got through that and I appreciate it well I'll be like and then she's so happy with herself not going by any reaction just like I did it I told those guys I would tell you these jokes so then I go oh great oh these are so good I'll put them in my act which I will but the idea of it was a little much and a little alarming for me well i i don't know if it's the same thing i had a similar experience and this is just me like flash memory saying she leaned in i was on a flight maybe a year after this goes i i know david spade i told him some x-ray joke and i said i you want a joke and i go look can you do one that's pg or something just not in the mood and she goes why is a shy boy and a tortoise kind of alike?
13:26Dana Carvey:And she paused. I go, what? She goes, they both can't come out of the shell. Oh, my God. That's a clean one for her. Yeah, they come out of the shell. I should do a puppet. They both got to come out of the shell. So anyway, I made that up. But anyway, that was a good story. What else? That's that. That was funny. Brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card users get 2 % daily cash back on purchases made in-store and online, whether it's for big-ticket items or everyday purchases, when they use their Apple Card with Apple Pay. Now that's a benefit that's just too good to pass up. You could be earning 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay to buy turmeric for your signature curry.
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16:04Get yours in store and online at www.5hourenergy.com or Amazon today. Oh, I ran into Jeff Ross last night. And we should probably have him on soon. Jeff Ross is the rest of the show. Jeff Ross is a super nice guy.
16:19Dana Carvey:He's got a Netflix show called Take a Banana for a Ride. It's kind of off a Broadway show he's been doing. So it might be something fun to hear. Right. He's going dramedy, basically, right? That whole show is a different move. heartfelt and funny uh trevor wallace also because he was in busboys but we didn't have him on we were going to have him on before busboys but he's he's on tour he's very funny has a great scene in the movie uh well you can look him up but both of those just because we've been traveling so much but we'll get to it and um we have an orpheum gig we have the big netflix oh yeah oh man yeah orpheum And that is me, you, and Chris Rock.
17:02We're going to do our podcast. We're going to have one of our best friends, Chris, out there. And it's at the Orpheum in LA. Come see us. We're going to crack up.
17:13Dana Carvey:Well, I think, I don't know. I'm not an advertising executive, and I don't know the protocol. But I think when I looked at the tickets, because I like to see the ticket master, oh, go to a section, 721 free seats. Is that what it means? oh really well if you hover over it it'll tell you how many free seats no we're doing great it's just that it didn't say that we have our uh our good friend chris rock yeah that's that's the fun of it he's a ticket mover if you know a live show with chris and the rf even holds about 2 000 probably but uh it'll be great it's during the netflix is a joke you know when i did national this weekend i did uh rhyming great great time great show but you know when it's a comedy festival yeah i have to say love nashville love a comedy festival but there was no cohesiveness like for this one in la ted saranis is going to have all the comics over there's something going on like here's the beginning of the festival like there's something to it other than just here's 50 shows in your town spread out for 40 miles and that's your first yeah if if you inherited some money recently you can see all those shows.
18:28Dana Carvey:There's 100 ,000 seats to be sold. I bet that's true. I bet that's true. I know, because I think our friend, I love this, our good friend, Nate Bregazzi, I think he's doing the Intuit Dome. When you start playing domes, you know you're doing, I mean, there's a - Sure. And domes are good. And arenas. Arenas. But is a dome bigger than an arena? Look it up. i want to play domes uh i have to say so here i go i don't sell out it's 2400 so it's pretty big but i don't sell it till that night and i'm happy and i'm like i think there's just too many choices to spend your comedy money over a week or two of a festival and i said even shane gillis is playing this week and they go yeah he's playing tonight i'm like well he's playing tonight he's gobbling up early he's gobbling up the Bridgestone Arena which is like a dome so I go okay I don't want to go I would rather see Shane I don't want to have people pick then the guy goes well you sold out I go I know but okay here's what we do if we want to cannibalize each other absolutely that when you play a big city there's a million choices and you play Vegas too this comedy festival it's so many seats so what we do if we're bored you know you and heather and me and uh greg whoever we just get on a bus and we go kind of where bob dylan goes we go to billings montana then we drive two hours to great falls we sell out the the uh the college arena right and then we could do that yeah off off what do they call them secondary markets yeah with great audiences because a lot of people don't come to their market chattanooga little rock memphis i mean you go to the big cities first the second wave of the tour you go to where you land and then you drive two hours but the crowds are happy because they don't get everyone and so they're like hey we need a show and uh they come out they show up yeah harry styles i think we talked about that sold in like in 10 minutes 30 madison square gardens yeah he's out of his mind But he's smart.
20:38Dana Carvey:Well, he's smart in a sense that he just is in some house and he helicopters to his gig instead of touring. He's but huge fans have to fly in there, get the hotel tickets. So it's like five thousand to see Harry Styles. Yeah, I'm sure it's. Yeah. Or Vegas, you know, residency people come to see you. OK, so that that that and my one last thing before I let you talk or say anything. I don't have anything. is um i stayed in another haunted hotel no i thought of dana nashville i thought of your situation at that one place nashville's full of ghosts by the way it was pittsburgh i said this hotel because again they go they brag about it this hotel is 100 years old minimum minimum it's 120 and then someone at the show i'm like oh they go where are you staying i go this place they go oh i go what's that i go is it haunted they go that's what they say that's the word and you know who they have what what famous ghost the shuffler the shuffler oh yeah is that a famous ghost it's in pittsburgh and i go please don't explain they go what it is is in different rooms they will hear two feet on your carpet okay there's nobody there and you can book the shuffler rooms no the shuffler picks you and of course i go home scared and dana i kid you not what happened at 6 a.m the fucking shuffler heather i told you this didn't i and of course you put your phone on it you've got to recording and you've got the sound to play for us now in a perfect world what i was doing is too busy calling 9-1-1 and trying to get what what would that sound like there's someone shuffling in my room okay so i'm laying down dead asleep can't sleep on the road really because it's different time zones and shit yeah and then i hear this
22:51so four and i go and i swear i go this is not the shuffler it better not be the shuffler and i go you know what it's the garbage it's someone in the alley 19th floor air conditioning floor yeah and i go why is the effing fucking shuffler coming to me knowing I'm scared that's probably why so I get up I get up what am I gonna do I'm so stressed my neck hurts turn the light on get up yeah I can't deal with the shuffler I can't right now so I went back to bed and just was like just that dead silence where you're like I don't want to hear it again don't want to hear it again because if I hear it again I'll freak don't hear it again not great sleep still give a show that night 10 out of 10 other people's words but
23:44Dana Carvey:well you know you have to count your blessings first of all whoever this is is is between wherever you're supposed to go and he's so he's in between he goes he's probably a pretty nice guy like i want i want to have something to do for a couple thousand years while i hang out in this sort of zone you know and he's not a violent guy so he says i'm ah fuck i'm gonna shuffle my feet man i'm i'm gonna right i'm i'm not gonna i had one where the whole thing was uh yeah there's strangler ghosts called the strength yeah but don't you know i i don't know what i'm talking about so i was in the room like that's stupid i turned the light out 20 minutes later it's like i do like a ghost of the hook you know and a name the shuffler is kind of cool it's like the joker i had the strangler and i turned it on it was like some sort of milky figure looked a little bit like Burgess Meredith to be honest and I thought of you he's gonna strangle your appointment rock it's just funny when you mention someone's impression there's a one one thousand of and then the joy of how exciting I get to do it actually when Crispin Glover sees the shuffler he goes hey you get your god damn hands off me it's that way it's like a junior Woody Allen you sure I know I know you probably have your special shoes on for more the carpet but no you're a wonderful shuffler but you know if you could do it in 10a I greatly appreciate it because I enjoy my sleep you're a beautiful intelligent shuffler you know the shuffler has a hook the shuffler came in got talked about a lot we're talking about him now look in Nashville when I went there you know I can't remember the hotel old and famous the guy goes hello to the Xavier hotel and then you automatically before you check in they give you a tour of where the ghost was and where the ghost went and here he would terrorize guests and then here's the elevator shaft that he may fall people were killed in yeah he's completely harmless but he will scare you if you let him he had a british accent oh you got a ghost oh heather got the ghost tour at the rhyming at the actual gig the rhyming is beautiful oh okay so she she knows yeah it is oh they say hank williams is up in the corner um sitting there like a ghost heather scoped out all the creakiness i like that the shuffler we don't know who it is what it is but hank williams that's pretty hip nashville was my favorite show almost of the whole tour it was so they were so fucking nuts it was great god wish i could have been there i had no stamina to go see shane after i was gonna hoof over but it's so crowded in those streets in nashville like driving's like fucking ratatouille couldn't get through it's like our driver's like going between people and then there's cars on both sides i'm like what are we and he said, we got to go the other way.
26:58Wait, our hotel. Where's your house? Chili's?
27:02Dana Carvey:That's a lovely way to spend your Friday evening in a thing they call gridlock, okay? There's something about traveling eight feet in two hours that kind of puts a little extra lift in your step. All right. All right. That's the take. All right, guys. Like when Adam Scott said he took two and a half hours to leave Coachella. Oh, that Coachella story. My God. Oh, I don't think that's up yet. That might be up soon. Yeah, but check that one out. It's a great story about Coachella and the crowding. Ridiculousness. What else before we get into hot stories? I don't know. We got these two horses. They're really cool and stuff.
27:44Dana Carvey:And we feed them and they're happy. And this horse really.
27:51I just saw that too. I saw that too.
27:54Dana Carvey:yeah well when i come out it just stares at me because it doesn't know if it's tom and tom my son tom feeds them a lot so it just oh he doesn't know the horse doesn't know if you're tom yeah sometimes thinks what's this but what happened yesterday usually there there's two of them and they wander around they're really good buddies and we feed them little apples and stuff and yesterday the big horse who's gonna have a baby in july started sprinting galloping across the the yard, which is huge, and then started bucking up. Did this for like 20 minutes. Is it just zoomies or what do you think? I think it's one or two things.
28:35Dana Carvey:One is a sudden surge of energy and it's literally just working out kind of. Oh, I can still trample things. Or there was kind of a heavy wind and it sort of spooked her. Yeah. your stories are about hotels my story is about farm life green for me sometimes when i look on instagram i follow like a horse named waffles with a they're friends with a butterfly named donut you know it's all and i and i get hooked into these stories of like these two incongruent animals are friends well any kind of being on planet earth that has no higher consciousness and just operates in this innocent thing. I mean, they live in the moment.
29:19Dana Carvey:They make no judgment. And they love us. Don't be jealous. They want food and they want some action. That's about it. She already had some action. The stud in the valley impregnated like 300 female horses. And the other horses just, hey, man. Any more work today, boss? Yeah. No, you're driving around, you see stud farm. it sounds illicit it doesn't sound like some natural organic thing but then all these giant stud horses come out and then it repeats itself then you drive by and the horse goes like this pull in see what's going on here yeah no they literally they do have a sign of a horse it's a stud farm it's like a big cartoon horse with a cigar you're right like hey yeah like this hey come on in see what's going on yo yo yo guess what i'm never too tired the horse just says the sign says what you doing W Y D yo yo yo don't be greedy ladies there's plenty to go around I'm doing 70 today Heather we tilt that we turn that one down a little bit and then we're gonna find buzzing around buzzing around we got a buzzing around I do like the horse stud though that's kind of funny it's kind of totally immobile and don't know how to do anything okay do you want to show everyone your sick face you look you look good shockingly looks good i'm doing six cross-country trips if i get do all those and not get sick it'll be amazing oh yeah you got all those cross-country flights man i just did three weeks and three cross-countries suck we're not complaining we know it's a first world problem no i know i'm just so just so they understand it's part of my charm to complain i just love to fly so anytime i'm in the air oh my god is this april to june oh boy okay so it's time for it's time for buzzing around you do you know it's time for buzzing around dana yeah i just felt like ready for buzzing i have a little idea that we talked about with a wide variety all right this is sponsored of course by five hour energy with a wide variety of bold flavors to choose from.
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31:40You get as much caffeine as a 12-ounce premium cup of coffee, but zero sugar, zero sugar crash. Find the 5-Hour Energy shots online at 5hourenergy.com or Amazon today. Look it. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
31:55Dana Carvey:Now remember, folks, these little riffs that David and I talked about, he gives me ideas, and there's nothing really written out. Right. but it's not it's not funny it's not prepared it's nothing it is i just thought i don't know why you have a flight of fancy i'm thinking buzzing around what would be kind of interesting so i thought you're at sort of a restaurant bar whatever and you've got old-timey actors with new new movie stars having a conversation you know very good so let's get the characters here first of all. Okay, first is Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart. I don't believe it. What a delightful place this is.
32:38Dana Carvey:Don't you think, Jimmy? Yeah, it's a great place to have a cocktail. What's your name? Hey, I'm Timothy Chalamet. How are you? Timothy what? Chalamet? I'm Timothy Chalamet. Are you an actor? Are you some kind of performer? Yeah, I'm in movies. You ever seen Molly supreme well you look i don't know i've never seen it i've never heard of it but are you good in it yeah i think i'm all right yeah yeah it's all right what are you guys who are you guys well i'm john wayne this here's walter walter brennan yeah i'm i'm a sidekick walter brennan that there john wayne no brag just fact well you're a little on the slight side timothy shallow wamba drag just fact what do you say no brag no brag just fact that was from the guns of wilson in 1960s he has three three sons and he goes he's his third fascist he in the west you know he's the second fascist and i'm the fascist no brag just fact i like that i can say that well you're a little slight timothy shallabonga there was a tribe named after you yeah i'm pretty sure duke what's your name well i'm the rock well you're a big you're a big glass of water what have you been doing well i i lift weights what do you lift weights for you should lift logs and screw question and guns what about you what's your name well what's your name chris for walking what i'm Christopher Walken.
34:19Dana Carvey:Dookie sounds funny. He can't be a movie star. Do you make movies? Yeah. Make a lot of movies. I'm Christopher Walken. Yeah. Wow. Oh, but Lancaster. He walked in? Yeah. But Lancaster and Douglass. Well, you need oxygen. Give me a second. I know there's two. There's so many. I I don't know why we're here, but we are. Right, Bert? We were just wrestling at Kirk's house. Greco-Roman style. We love to wrestle, don't we, Kirk? Ha, ha, ha, ha. We like to wrestle, and then we have some lemonade. What about? Great. Nice. Hey. Nice. Hey, what's your name? What's your name? You look vaguely familiar to me.
35:12Dana Carvey:Hi. Hey, I'm George Clooney. John Clooney, you look exactly like me. You could be my doppelanger, couldn't he, John Wayne? Well, he sure could be your doppelanger, right, Jimmy Stewart? Yeah, he looks like a real doppelanger. What about you, Walter Brennan? Yeah, no brag, just fact, he's a doppelanger. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm Boatlan Kessler. He's a doppelanger. And I think we're going to have to cut this sketch down in post. We'll tighten it up. Well, we'll cut it down, all right. will keep the funny parts and scene wow was that buzzing around or not that was buzzing around I didn't have a script as you could tell tasty coffee but I like it when it's a little rough on the end it's a little messy enjoy big flavor in a tiny bottle five energy shots pack the flavors of the season portable two ounce shot we should do this trick where I go like that and then you reach and you grab it Find 5R Energy shots at 5R Energy.com or Amazon today.
36:17Let me see. What did you want to do?
36:19Dana Carvey:Well, what I would do would be like, here, David, you have one, and then you would have one. Okay, Heather's going to try it. Ready? Okay. Okay, get ready, Heather. What do I do with it? Go toward the camera. Go toward the camera? Oh, no. Heather just stepped on the camera and unplugged it. Please stand by. We have an emergency. Please stand by. Please stand by. I don't even know where it came out of. Hmm. Okay, here we go. We got it. We got it. Okay. Okay, you started to hand it. Okay, here we go. Thanks, Dana. Not bad. Dude, that wasn't AI, folks. That wasn't AI. He actually got it. Look, do I look like I have it?
36:57Dana Carvey:It went over to him. Look. Too heavy. There's no other explanation except that somehow it teleported to David. AI. Okay, let's go with some stories. Let's hit it. Let's hit it now. what's in the news what's what's happening i'm making my screen brighter i'm gonna respond spontaneously all right oh oklahoma principal who disarmed gun wielding intruder crown prom king finally they're nice to one of the teachers i always see them beating up teachers but these kids today so this guy i heard this story this this there was a school shooter and the guy tackled him the principal tackled him and i think he got shot um yeah and they all voted him and he got applause oh we have video you know he's a bit of a tearjerker though because you know well they show a video of him tackling the guy and i think he takes a bullet but he lives and then he goes to prom and they seek they conspire to vote him prom uh yeah i always wonder you never know but the studies they've done is that and he's obviously really brave a lot of people respond like that when it's just they don't have a second right you know i mean not that it's still highly unusual you know you would have been under the desk with me just crying okay let's see what this is this is probably too long oh here he is at the prompt they're getting the award.
38:28Dana Carvey:Our queen is Michelle Wood. They back up. You don't have to go all the way back to the queen. Some cheerleader, I'm sure. Our king. Here we go. Kurt Moore. Oh, big applause. Where is he? They don't even know where he is.
38:52Oh, here he comes. Oh, okay.
38:55Dana Carvey:Okay. Is he walking a little slow? Getting some low fives. Didn't overspin on the crown. Oh, he's getting a crown. He doesn't look like he's young and athletic. He just did it through adrenaline. No, he laid on the guy. He like tackled him and got on top of him. Yeah. Oh, here's the video. Wow. Oh, okay. Don't mind me. The shooter coming in. Hey, what's up? Hey, man. And what are these shooters wanting? is that him okay someone's sitting on the bench can you see that okay he's got a revolver this guy he's he's walking in he's threatening oh boom from the side in the face oh and he's got his hand on his gun he's trying to dig him but he's hard with those new balance on he's trying he hasn't like he hasn't got command of the drug uh gun yet sorry no but i think he got shot there at some point oh oh there's the gun yeah they got the gun this other dude grabs did he really get shot don't eat it yeah and then uh i thought they said he got shot but yeah good job hero right well that was that was awesome i like that's a feel-good story i mean you know it shows you the times have changed you know we'd have a prom king and he was like the stud football player now it's who's ever the best at tackling active shooters is generally the king gets gets more votes yeah it's so common They said it was awkward the next day when the prom queen did the walk of shame out of his apartment.
40:26She's like, hey, man, it's kind of mandatory king and queen.
40:31Dana Carvey:Yeah, there's other things that go on at these high schools. You want to go back to high school, part of you. I sort of do. I want some movie credits and then go back to high school. Well, that was a movie. Yeah, that'd be a great movie. you go to your high school reunion and you know no i go back in time and i still look too old even though they do all the cgi in the world they're still like this guy's too old oh by the way i thought you were great in the is it the come up the what was the name of the movie was outcome outcome sorry i can't you saw outcome i did i thought you were great in it oh yeah thank you very natural funny i wanted more of you i know there was more wait there's more i hit up jonah hill and i go jonah come on dude and he's like i know i think the movie was probably two hours a little over two hours and they cut it down to an hour 23 so i said because i saw matt bohmer the other guy in the movie he's a good looking dude and now he's super cool anyway he was like oh dude i got about a half hour hacked i had a big scene with keanu where after something you find out in the movie of me then i see keanu and on the balcony and it's very awkward yeah and we're having a talk and my wife had a baby so i'm holding a baby and it's the most awkward talk and i go and joan was like it kind of felt like the end of the movie so we had to get rid of it and i'm like how about you get rid of the real ending and keep that well there's some brainstorming You're not afraid to kind of crack the whip when you need to.
42:10Dana Carvey:I love Jonah. He's great in that. It's really funny. And Keanu Reeves was charming. It was a cool movie. I just wanted to insert this because it may not be present. Trump always comes up with phrases that make me laugh. And the fact, the cute thing, he keeps working that. We're going to make a great deal. We're going to make a great deal as long as they don't get cute. If they get cute. Get cute is a great term. it's a global conflict there's weapons flying around no one's they could get cute if they get cute it won't work out they might get cute if they don't get cute i think we could make a deal we can make a deal if they don't get cute if they get cute we will make a deal with i warn them don't get cute and deal deal and you were warned and then the spokesman comes out and says president trump has warned them not to get cute so uh if you see people getting cute you know what's gonna happen you get cute it's not gonna win it won't end well for you how'd that work out for them how'd that work out for them they got cute i haven't heard get cute for so long i know and he uses it i just no one talks like that get old fashioned i wanted to throw that in here that's funny it's not the place for it no it's it's a heavy conflict but good cute we could make a deal He said deal 319 times within the last 20.
43:32Dana Carvey:We could make a deal. We might get a deal. They want to make a deal. Unless they get cute and they get cute. It's like saying he's acting like a real weirdo. Those Iranians are so weird sometimes. You're like, no, that's not the right word. People liked Hans and Franz closing the Strait of Hermione. They thought it was a good idea. That's a great idea. With their muscular, boulder-sized black. for many men the shift can happen gradually or all at once workouts feel harder yes energy dips recovery takes longer even routines haven't changed one major reason is testosterone levels can start declining around age 30 dropping at one percent each year but it's not just about how much testosterone the body produces it's also about how much is actually available to use a protein called SHBG binds to testosterone and can limit how much of it your body can access.
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45:27It's also available on Amazon. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. It's called Fly on the Wall. Okay, so I was recently poking around for ideas for this podcast. Really? and uh like how to make it feel more real how to make dana funnier you know real thought stuff tangible business i found myself browsing vista print just seeing what was possible and honestly it kind of sparked something because i'm scrolling through branded hoodies stickers custom packaging and then i'm thinking like wait we could actually have merch that listeners would like to see they'd love to have or any sort of signage for a live event.
46:13And that's what I like about this Vistaprint. It takes something that's just an idea in your head and then it makes you feel doable.
46:20Dana Carvey:That's right. Whether it's designing something from scratch or tweaking what you already have, they've got tools and real human support to help you get it right. And as a small business, because that's what this podcast is, having that kind of support matters. It really got me thinking of how we can show up more polished, if possible, more intentional, actually grow this thing. It's grown so big, though, but it could be even bigger. Vistaprint, print your possible. Right now, new customers get 20 % off with code NEW20 at vistaprint.com. Brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card users get 2 % daily cash back on purchases made in-store and online.
47:06Dana Carvey:whether it's for big ticket items or everyday purchases, when they use their Apple Card with Apple Pay. Now that's a benefit that's just too good to pass up. You could be earning 2 % daily cash back when you use your Apple Card with Apple Pay to buy turmeric for your signature curry, 2 % back on flights to visit the family in Tucson, and even 2 % back on your kid's new tuba.
47:35you might even be able to get two percent back on a tuba tutor not an apple card customer you can apply in the wallet app on iphone subject to credit approval apple card is issued by goldman sachs bank usa salt lake city branch terms and more at apple.co slash benefits all right next story this is the scene from bus boys if he told me it's a great idea and i go
48:01Dana Carvey:oh wait this is too funny read the top okay this wayne's world remake looks terrible we've got we've got joe biden's was the blonde woman in joe biden's administration i thought this is just random people oh that's so funny it looks like hank kingsley on the left from larry sanders oh i thought it was that's not jack white oh that's not well i know one is michael mike myers but that's not you that garth is a little different i'm gonna say it if it's just random fans god bless you but that is uh funny yeah they're happy it makes them happy i think that they're fun get Wayne does not wear glasses.
48:46Dana Carvey:Oh, that's right. That's the giveaway. All right. Party on. Hey, that was a really nice one you did. I liked it a lot, you know. But next time, make sure that Wayne doesn't wear glasses. Your hair is on fuego today. Well, I washed it. You know, you do it the night before. Of course. And then when I woke up, I had this. And it wasn't planned. Gorgeous. I tried to squish it down and it just went boom. I know. I did a little perp plus myself yesterday. Mm-hmm. Oh, yes. You and the planter are both like this. Well, I'm like Springsteen, you know. Yeah, when I put on my big boy boots and my hat, that's six-foot Warner Springsteen coming at you.
49:33Dana Carvey:So with me as Garth, when my hair goes like that, that's five, six and a half of Dana Carvey coming at you. no actually tell her plus is conditioner and shampoo and body wash and deodorant the plus is all that what if it was just pert it would just be shampoo no nobody wants just pert pert like actually signify used to say i took some extra strength anison or whatever buffering or whatever his old line was extra strength advil what happened to just strength who's ever going to just take strength after extra strength i know that's i like to take just very jerry extra strength can i what about the strength one who would get that one they could get extra strength oh i can't believe this people by the way nyquil's gone fucking bazooties they have and i have zequel now i have clear zequel with no sugar it's not blue it's clear which is actually good and then they have regular nyquil then they have daytime dayquil then they have nyquil for pain and now they have severe pain nyquil and severe flu wow god dang they fill out an amazon warehouse just for night great really great memory for you to get through all that i was just like one of you when you really have to sleep and you're really sick nyquil really knocks you out but the last time i go because i kind of feel a little groggy the next day i just had my wife take a sledgehammer and just hit me and knock me out with that and i slept great it's about the same strength because nyquil if you have that little cup and you wake up and it's on your bed on the side i'm like you're out i mean my friend said oh i tried that and i go well don't do like a little teaspoon because you got to get used to it and he goes oh i filled that whole cup over the line he goes i woke up at 4 p.m the next day i go yeah nyquil's no joke dude i wake up like this and it just the nyquil's dribbling out the cup is sort of bent and just kind of caught up in my pajamas and the cops pick it up with the glove they go nyquil related do you wear pajamas does anyone i wear pjs Does any human wear pajamas anymore?
51:56I wear sweats Well that's not pajamas
51:59Dana Carvey:Sweats and a t-shirt Full like button down Button down, Ricky Ricardo I love Lucy Matching, Heather wears matching Cute and matching sets That's adorable Sets is a word you don't know Dana She wears an airport set A set, yeah, yeah Every woman at the airport is in sweats and a hoodie that matches. Yeah. And they pull the hoodie. But guess what? The germs come through to Heather. Heather, I want to ask you a question. Were you masked or unmasked during the flight? I look on your text, their fly on the wall text message. You'll see what I looked like. Oh, yeah. We have a picture. If you see that picture, throw it up.
52:48Or just throw up. And I think the problem was the culprit who didn't stop blowing his nose for four and a half hours was not wearing a mask and never washed his hands or moved at all. Yeah, the guy heaving and coughing was sitting next to her and didn't wear a mask and didn't apologize profusely and didn't throw himself off the plane.
53:09Dana Carvey:The amount of people who are sick. Here comes the picture. Here it is. Oh, that's Heather. Oh, so you know you're being exposed. You became the invisible man. my whole four and a half hours, I still got sick. Oh, that's her eye. Well, how did David not get sick? Immune system of iron? What is he, Superman? Oh, we split up because she came for the first gig and then the busboys screening and Q &A and then she flew back and I was on my way to Pittsburgh with the bomb scare. It's hard. I got COVID and then I got the guy to get me Paxlovid right away. This was months ago, but I had a gig in Vegas.
53:52Dana Carvey:And I'm going, well, I can either go or not go. But day one, pretty good. Pretty good. I think I can go. I don't think I'm contagious. And then I was just laying in bed all day and I did the gig. Pretty good story. Was it the worst day of when you were sick? No. The Paxloved for me, because I got it early, I popped up pretty hard. But I still was very tired. But, you know, you fake it till you make it in show business. You can get through it. An hour is tough. Some of those gigs, an hour is tough. I love it when they say 45 would be fine. That means I pick up my guitar at 35. Whoops. Tricks of the trade.
54:31Dana Carvey:When they're drunk and tired, it's midnight. Hey, hey, my, my. Yeah. This company gets me very high. Right. I'm doing one in Solano. I'm doing 30 this weekend. And then a meet and greet? I don't think so. Just 30 minutes and get out? That's pretty good. But you know who I have to follow? George Wallace. And he kills. You're following George Wallace? Isn't that funny? Bob Zaney and George Wallace. You don't, man. Well, you always find a way because you'll come out different and you'll do your sort of self-effacing stuff. Yeah. And then they love you. The funniest part is you know that George Wallace kills.
55:13Just as when I told you that, you're like, you're following George.
55:16Dana Carvey:George Wallace is a killer, man. Big, strong present, incredibly likable. We'll do a little bit of crowd work, work it back around. You don't want to follow that guy. But you can because you're David Spade. I follow Dana Carvey, and if you can do that. Okay, let's play another story, and then we'll wrap up soon. Everyone's got so much for their buck. Wait. Don't get cute on me, David. Is this evidence that Anthony Albanese is not real? Like just a digital copy. Minister Anthony Albanese is not real. He's actually replaced by Dana Carvey from Waynesville. And where's your evidence of this, Cameron?
56:03Dana Carvey:Okay. In 1990, Dana Carvey did a movie called Opportunity Knocks. The impression, George W. Bush. The impressions. The impressions. that's saying, hand towels bad, hand dryers good, very good. Also, Master Disguise 2002, church lady in Saturday Night Live. You hardly see him anymore. He's doing podcasts with David Spade. Incredible, David Spade. He's all pre-recorded. He's how busy. How are you getting around going to Malaysia, selling deals with petrol, going to footy, going to Hawthorne Games, going to Rabideaus Games? It's Damon Carvey. What's his link with Anthony Albanese? They wear glasses That's you dude Oh my god that's me How did they find me Dana Dana Cavie Fly in the wow That was a doppelanger man We should have him on the show man Let's get him on the show Of all people My conspiracy is that Dana is this guy that doesn't really look like him i told you before we did these things today i said oh you got some clips i go don't get cute don't get cute on me we got don't get me cute dude you made two appearances you made wayne's world yes in the news oh that's right keeps going that's funny just what goes around comes around now yeah you're big uh okay one more okay one more This is our final, I'll use our sponsor.
57:35Dana Carvey:This is our final clip of the day. Oh, this is a real thing to talk about, about the state of Hollywood. Okay, go ahead. Doug Liman, big director. Doug Liman's new movie starring Casey Affleck and Pete Davidson should have cost around$300 million, but according to the producers, they made it for about$70 million. What? Using AI, and it was filmed in just 20 days, almost entirely inside this converted showroom in London. And what nobody is talking about is what this could mean for the industry, because all of the studios are quietly experimenting with versions of this workflow right now. I'm Jason Fisher, the founder of Stage Runner and former head of production at Disney, Paramount, and AMC.
58:12And today, it's part two, how AI is going to impact Hollywood and what it means for production and jobs. And it might surprise you to hear that the producers think this could actually increase jobs. We'll get to that. And by the way, what you're looking at right now throughout this video, I created using the latest tools just to help illustrate how this process works. These are not clips from the movie. So I spoke to the producers behind the film, Ryan and Matt Cavanaugh. They're the founders of Acme AI. So they made it for seven? They told me the company already has 10 films and two TV series in some stage of production right now.
58:45Right. I think because the actors are the noisiest about being replaced, but the behind-the-scenes people getting replaced is important too, like set dressing and, you know, building sets.
59:02Dana Carvey:Set designers, building groups, all that technical hardware type electricians. I mean, I guess you need lighting for Pete and Casey. but that shouldn't cost$70 million. I didn't get the$70 million thing. What was that? I mean, why would... Well, they said it could have cost$300. Oh, if you did it... No, it's going to cost$300. But it's still$70, okay. $70 is way more than any movie maybe I've ever done. You know, look, there's been incidents of this for at least 20 years with CGI. There's a show on HBO, The Gilded Age, and you can tell the whole town and all the people walking is just i guess a ai but it's you know it's it's been around a little while so it's just a process like the background extras are definitely generated characters you can see see another group that gets shafted extras they'll just be extras are important yep atmosphere people they're the glue and these things make it look real you get good atmosphere extras and uh it really helps the scene i don't know how you negotiate this but i was reading this morning that the longshoremen negotiated a thing where no automation no ai we're just gonna lift stuff with manly hands and stuff and trump was supporting that don't get cute you gotta go you know but i don't know how you put the genie back in the bottle without Barbara Eden helping you.
1:00:39It's hard to put the cat shit back in the cat, you know?
1:00:42Dana Carvey:Did you understand my Barbara Eden reference? You did? Of course I did. I was in love with her. Would you tell the audience who that is? She's the babe that lives in the bottle. She's Jeannie. No, that's Bewitched. I was more in love with Bewitched, shockingly. Elizabeth Warren in the 19th. No, it was Elizabeth Montgomery. Gorgeous. That was the first probably television sitcom woman that sort of got my attention. I'm getting tingly in my underpants. I feel funny like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. Fucking Garth was the horniest. All right. Well, that's probably a good full... That's a full show.
1:01:24You know, like 10 out of 10 show, yeah.
1:01:26Dana Carvey:We didn't get cute. We never got cute. And we made a deal. We showed a lot of clips. And we had 19 impressions in our little sketch. This is the following after the second weekend of BuzzFeed. But the first weekend, we got in the top 10. First, it was the only independent movie in the top 10. So that's good. Something. Well, by the way, two things. One is I was pleasantly surprised you got it initially on 800 screens. And you look at the metric of average per screen, you were way up there. 2 ,000 per screen. Thank you. And these are, like, we don't ask. We say we got in 200, we got in 250, then regal will call we're adding 150 we're like oh thanks and then they're like hey australia wants it now so we're going to send it to australia hey canada and the uk and now we're canada uk new zealand's coming up so it'll go on this wave and then when it comes out on you know where you can buy it at home video on demand then it'll at least have more awareness but i have shockingly gotten nice feedback from it so because people on twitter love to hate and it's probably way more positive shocking but someone did give me an f minus and i was like can we just leave it at f i mean let's not get so dramatic like they gave a apocalypse now an f minus minus no one's got that i said just go all the way down to g if you're gonna go that low then people think it's good Yeah.
1:02:54Dana Carvey:How about not seeing the movie? Look, I think people have to understand that big corporate movies, we've been in them, not to pick on them, they have a distribution deal and that company is just pushing the movie and negotiating all these things. You guys are the little engine that could, the homemade product, bought and paid for, low budget. But the thing about it, it's potently what it is. It's an R-rated kind of sort of throwback, fun, simple movie. Two kind of, I don't know what you call them. Down on your luck. Underdogs. Underdogs. And all the misadventures. And the silliness, which I love.
1:03:38Dana Carvey:They just want to be waiters. and their lives would be great. The wispiest premise. Yeah, they fall down in the dirt a lot. They fall down in the work. Yeah, Lauren's... Well, anyway, so excited about that. And I will see you next time. And come see us at the Orpheum if you're in LA. Yeah, don't be nervous about seeing us. We're going to bring it. Yeah, bring it with Chris. And Rock's always on fire. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye-bye now.
1:04:14Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, or maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe.
1:04:29Dana Carvey:We're on video now! Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us. Any questions to be asked and answered on the show, you can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
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From the publisher
The guys swap R-rated jokes they’ve been pitched mid-flight, preview their upcoming Netflix Is a Joke appearance (get tickets), and break down David’s run-in with the Shuffler Ghost. Plus: Buzzing Around and news, including the Prom Principal and Dana’s secret life exposed.
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