RE-RELEASE - Chelsea Handler

0:00All right, we got Chelsea Handler Chelsea hammer old friend old friend of the show I see her out a lot always funny just did the critics choice awards we talked to her uh and she was of course on fire getting yeah she's a she's a pistol she's got a lot of energy she says what's on her mind very funny um never been shy never been shy yeah um we covered a lot we talked about dating we talk about stand-up tours who's filling arenas these days all the ins and outs of her life had a lot of laughs anytime you have a just straight-up comedian on we have a lot of laughs yeah we started laughing the minute we started and it went all the way through so here she is chelsea handler chelsea handler

0:57Hi, my two penis-faced buddies. I don't know. I saw Chelsea recently, Dana, at a little backyard get-together. Remember, I came over here on the couch. I said hi. Was it at Ted's house? It was at Gervitz's, our manager. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. That was a really fun party. Apparently I left that party too early. I heard it went all night long and that you got on stage and sang. No, you know what? That was the idea. There was, it was going to be, uh, people would sing, but by the way, I got there at seven cause everyone was a little older. So I got there at seven going, Oh no, no one's going to be there yet.

1:39And then people are leaving. I go, wait guys, this is, I'm the old guy, but I wasn't the oldest guy there for once. And, uh, and then Dana, I don't think you went to that one, but after about nine, it was kind of slowing down. And then I go, are they going to sing? And they're like, no, they did a birthday cake. And then they go, and then his daughter sang. Remember that Chelsea? Yeah. Yeah. Lovely song. And then I said, I guess that's it. And they go, no, Eddie's not going to sing. And I go, oh, I thought we're going to all going to sing. Okay. So I leave. And then about two hours later, Sandra was like, you're up.

2:14And I'm like, I'm up. I'm in bed. I don't know. Are we doing this? And did you go back? No, he's too far away. It was an hour. Right. Exactly. There was a lull in that party after about two hours. And that's when a group of people left. I didn't know that we were supposed to stay and things were going to, you know, there was going to be an act, too. So I also I was we may as well have left together, David. David, like we've done so many nights of our lives. So many times. And I liked it because the party was fun, but it felt like a long party. and it felt like there's a cake and we weren't really bailing out.

2:47It was just like, I thought they were trying to say scoot, you know, because it's probably 30 people up. Also, I feel like Gesundheit, if that was a sneeze, Dana. I also feel like LA is so lame. You know what I mean? Like no one is out at till nine. I mean, that's what time everyone goes to bed. Every party ends earlier. It's just It's almost like it's so hard to even go out Because the scene is kind of just so subdued So many people are sober It's just not what it used to be I'm going to just throw that out there I'm just going to throw that out there Explain to me as a fellow human being Why anybody In their right mind Would go to a Hollywood party Isn't it the most hideous I mean I like four people at your house for dinner i'm not gonna book it that would be nice five one conversation is happening but the small talk uh derby what's up with chelsea what's going on oh yeah you know god i don't know how you guys deal with it well when it's hours of that you keep walking to the same people all night you don't know what to say the eighth time you see them and yeah and it's also like you have to question why you're at parties like what what's your motivation why are you?

4:06Why am I here? Like, am I promoting anything? Like, am I, why am I going to an Oscar party? I'm not nominated for an Oscar. Why am I at the party? Like I always, I'm like, no, it's like, you know, you got to show up once in a while to like refresh people's memories. But, um, I find LA to be, if I wish I, I want to, I want to have that place in New York. That's going to be my, my goal. I think that's a little bit, it's too unhealthy. Like I'm becoming almost elderly in this lifestyle. Whenever I'm here, which isn't frequently, I come back home and like, last night I was supposed to go over for friends for dinner, which was the kind of event you're describing or dinner you're describing Dana, which is actually sounded really nice.

4:44But even getting in my car and, and I am in a compromised situation because I just had some surgery. So, you know, it's not fun. I can't drink. I can't really do anything, but I was going to get in my car and go over there. And I was like, I don't think so. I don't think I would rather just sit here and watch mindless television and sleep as much as I can. I think I overheard one of you lesbians saying that you slept for 11 hours last night. I did. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Did you masturbate to get yourself to sleep? No, but I woke up and I had completed the task and it was like, what the fuck was I dreaming?

5:23Yeah, you can do it in your sleep. Oh, yeah. So who started? What I meant was the movement in the stand-up world with women, females, whatever you prefer. And it seems to me that Joan Rivers made a turn where she really was more incendiary than the 60s, Joan. And then there's this continuum of female stand-ups just saying what they want. And I put you in that. You're like the leader, kind of, in a way. There's younger ones coming back. I don't know. I mean, when did stand-up term for women where squirting jokes and stuff like that could come out? You know, who just anything goes? Yeah, I don't know.

6:06I think it's like a rush of it's like a wave, if you will. No pun intended of a wave of squirters talking about squirting and women, you know, the more. Listen, we're all talking about the same stuff. When you break down stand-up comedy, you're talking about your personal life, your relationships, your relationship to drugs and alcohol. all, you know, it's all the same pitter patter of ideas. And it's just like, how does your execution vary? So I guess if you, you know, the more women that are up talking about this, the more accepted it becomes by nature. And there are more female comics than there've ever been, but I don't know when it started.

6:41I mean, Joan certainly paved the way for all of us. I can say that. Um, I didn't really realize that until she was dead. You know, like I, I was like, no, I paved the way for myself. I had an arrogance about my own success. Like Joan Rivers wasn't somebody I had looked up to. And then, you know, when I did my homework and grew up a little bit, I realized how, how, what she went through and like, you know, going to the comedy clubs, like women didn't even get on stage without being like, you know, they would get on stage as characters, like housekeepers or, you know, maids or, or like, you know, just like.

7:14Ella's Diller was kind of a character. Yeah. Right. And Joan was like being herself and dressing up and going to these gross comedy clubs. I mean, we all know how gross comedy clubs are. They are. That's where all disease begins. And I, that's where the disease in my shoulder probably began. And it's just, it's just presenting now. But yeah, she was a trailblazer, of course, which is an annoying word for some reason. I find that annoying. I don't like when people call me a trailblazer either because I'm not out there with, you know, blazing trails. But But I think that it's just good to see women succeed.

7:52It's good to see women being taken seriously. And it's like the idea that women aren't funny is just so dumb. And I know both of you know that. But like, you know, for so many men out there who really think that, man, that comedy is just a men's game, it's been so insulting for so long that you just kind of turn off that noise. Like, you know, when I was doing, for instance, my first talk show, Chelsea Lately, I didn't pay attention to any of that because it didn't I didn't go home at night thinking what was that like to be the only woman in late night. Those were just comparisons that everybody else made.

8:23And I feel like if you spend too much time thinking about that aspect of it, it's taking away from your creative outlet anyway. You know what I mean? You should be creating, you should be doing your thing and not looking around to see what your competition is doing. Because I certainly didn't look at David Letterman and think I was in competition with him. You know what I mean? I wasn't, I was on the e-network, you know? So that's what I think I have to say about that. making a buzz on the e-network even though he's making he's on network but e you're helping e get wider and more looked at which is interesting also when i go to the comedy store every you don't even blink every other comic is a female i mean everywhere you go it's not even like oh you're not one of the comedians you know how it used to be you'd be like wait there's a female comic on the show tonight, it would be like Rita Rudner or something when I, you know, Paula Poundstone.

9:20And, uh, right now there's so many, so it's great. I mean, listen, it's all, if you got some game and there's, they don't mention there's also bad male comedians. So it's not like all the guy ones are good and the females are bad. It's like, if you're good, you're good. And so you see a nice mix. Um, I've seen some on Instagram that are funny. is popping my feed. So, you know, I, when I was growing up, yeah, it was like, the female comedian was referred to as they're saying, they wouldn't say David Letterman, the guy. And that was more prevalent. This woman, comedian, and woman, woman. I see less of that more than just comedian.

9:58And one thing's kind of cool about you is you produce the show for Whitney, right? I mean, you, you do a lot of producing of things and for other people. Yeah, I did at that time. Well, yeah, Whitney's show didn't really last too long, but we tried. And then we produced a show for Ross Matthews. He wasn't really a production powerhouse at the time I was there. So it was really hard to get. We did After Lately. David, you were on that show with us, which was like a satire of Chelsea Lately, where I was just like a really exaggerated version of the cunt that I am. but we we did we did so much like uh what was i what was i where was i going with this we did so much producing whitney oh oh yeah it was really hard to get anything done in at e with them being behind anything like they were just trying to assuage me because we had a hit show so they'd be like oh you want to produce this great go ahead and then they'd be like oh it's not getting the numbers or whatever but you know it was hard to get anything going on eve i mean the kardashians in my show were like, you know, and I don't know, Saving Sunset or whatever.

11:03It's Selling Sunset. Saving Sunset. I think that was later. You were really, you paved the way for shitty flip shows. Yeah, it really took a hit after I left and the Kardashians left. Like, and actually, I know this is probably coming out later, but I'm about to host the Critics' Choice Awards, which brings me back to Eid this next Friday night, which is a full circle. I'm going back to my birthplace. I love that show. When I first saw that show with you and the comedian stuff, it was one of the first like lo-fi shows because cable was still coming up and stuff. And so there are shows that do that now.

11:43But, you know, usually it was the band and the bump, you know, so it was very cool how lo-fi it was. Thank you. Yeah, it was very casual. if you're just funny you don't need much you need a camera and then you got and then people like oh you don't need all this other noise because some of those shows there's only just this much comedy and there's little pieces but those are harder what you're doing because it's just like turn the cameras on let's just talk and we'll find things talk about and and it just blew up and that's why i agree when you left it was a big hit on there but also you know like it was so much fun because you guys are from SNL.

12:19So you know about like ensemble. But what was so much fun about that show was that the casualness of it allowed us to like just book my friends on the round table. You know, so many comics that I didn't even know that I discovered on my own show whose careers have blown up. Like, you know, Fortune Feimster or Joe Coy. Like Kevin Hart used to be on the round table. Like all these people. So that, and it was so unique in the fact that like at the time anyway, because everyone's ripped off that show now too. too. I mean, David, you've even ripped it off. But like you and I don't believe ideas can be ripped off, so I don't care anyway.

12:53But like putting comics together when you become a comedian, essentially to stand on a stage with a microphone alone, like it's the most probably narcissistic you can be. And so to put to have comics to have four comedians on a roundtable at the same time, sharing space and actually having to listen to each other and riff off of each other was a joy and also kind of unexpected because you don't see comedians interacting that much. No, Carson would in the early days, he'd have people stay out there. So you might see Bob Hope and Don Rickles getting a fight or something, you know, but that went away and it was one guest one out and then highly, highly organized with an outline of what you're supposed to get to in the commercial breaks.

13:42And so since your thing was, I hate this, one of my least favorite words was just authentic that when the comedians were riffing, you knew it was happening real time. There wasn't a rehearsal. It's not a setup. It's just ping pong, which made it really pop. So I see why it went on seven years. You can also do, when I was doing David Lately, which is not a ripoff, when I was doing David Lately, Davey Lately, the part of the fun, the hosting is kind of hard but if you're dishing off you're not doing all the lifting anymore so you give someone a subject and now you're just tagging what they say on their jokes and then someone else jumps in now you're like oh shit these if you get good people in there that can just bullshit like that then people just like to see like they're at dinner just you're just bullshitting basically yeah and that's what you know you hang out with comics all the time like the best things that happen are never being filmed so you're like oh wouldn't it be great if we could film these conversations, which is essentially what that show became.

14:44Right. The green room, basically, you know, bring it out, bring it out front. So what, um, well, I guess we should mention before we get going away is you have a, you have a book, right? Coming out. I have a book. A book is called I'll have what she's having that comes out February 25th on my 50th birthday. And then my special is called the feeling. And that comes out on netflix on march 25th which is a month after my birthday so i don't know when this airs but you can just piece it together however you like we'll do it all right well yeah so the feeling is netflix so which because i remember i came to see is it possible i came to see you at caesar's palace once years and years and years ago did you ever play yeah i do i actually yes i used to play caesar's palace now i do a residency at vegas where i perform once a month which is how much time I'm willing to spend in Vegas.

15:37I perform once a month at the Cosmopolitan at the Chelsea Theater. So I perform inside myself, but I was at Caesars many years ago. Years and years. Cause I think it was during maybe your show. And I think Brad Wallach, those guys were there. I think, I think, I think, uh, how many specials have you done? Which one is this? I don't know, actually four four or five four or five probably five how did this one feel because i think it's very hard i did a couple they suck because i just i when you know you have one there was a technical issue and you have one shot and you've kind of worked on this stuff in the little clubs and now you're in a barn with a 1400 seats and three balconies so how did this one feel like your experience of the other ones what you want to land is like a feeling basically of how you're authentically your best self on stage, right?

16:31Not shooting a special. Well, no, I think you do treat it like you're shooting a special, but you're supposed to shoot two in a row, Dana. Sorry, David. I'm too weak and old to do two. Well, I mean, I guess so, because that's how you don't screw it up. If you don't get what you want in the first set, then you know to get it in the second set so um somebody should have definitely told you that no it's all right it's all you can do two shows in two nights more expensive but you can do yes right of course you can do that then topic wise or material wise is there is there something that is a little surprising for your fans it's just me asking off the top of my head like are you stretching the envelope further in terms of honesty because it's sort of your brand of like oh i'm always honest I'm always, you know, even more honest.

17:22Well, yeah, I mean, these are some personal stories. I have some I have a really great Andrew Cuomo story in this special, a personal Andrew Cuomo story, because I was trying to get penetrated by him during the pandemic. I remember that that you were going to try to fuck Andrew. I remember it was going to be a live stream. I know I wanted to also live stream it and I wanted to do it for my country because he just felt felt so like we had leadership at a time where we were so dehydrated for it. But I have a really good story in there about that. I have a great George W. Bush story going to Kenny Bunkport compound like on 40 milligrams of THC and having to interact with the president on a pickleball court, the former president.

18:05So there's a little there's a lot of sharing. The feeling is actually a reference to something I did as a child to like at the jungle gym at school to get a certain feeling around my Pikachu area that a lot of nine year old girls did. And so that's a reference to that. I take you from my youth and to my adulthood and kind of telegraph the fact that I've always been this way. But yes, the special felt great. You know, I'm at a point where I've done this for so long. I'm very capable and confident in what I'm doing. I don't have, I don't, I'm not worried, you know, about it. I, I, I'm like, you get to a certain point, I think, in your career.

18:46I hopefully the two of you can also attest. You know what you're, you got, you're still here because you got yourself this far. So like, you know what you're doing. You don't have to be in your head about it anymore. At a certain point, you realize that's just such a wasted energy and that you're successful because of you. So just keep doing you.

19:31I'll see you next time.

19:37Hi, this is Jill Schlesinger, CBS News Business Analyst, Certified Financial Planner and the host of the Jill on Money podcast. With the new year upon us, there's no better time to take control of your financial life. And the Jill on Money podcast is here to help. It's your questions that make it possible for me to provide unconventional and I hope entertaining insights on your money and more importantly on your life. Follow and listen to Jill on Money wherever you get your podcasts.

20:10No, I agree. I just, I'm a little, I have a self-critical inside of my brain. And I have, if I do stand up in a club, one night from the other can be completely different. If I get into a character or some idea, I like, I like it to be kind of riffing, partial material riffing right right but very hard with like 19 cameras i don't know why they need that many um and then i get locked into doing my outline like okay i've got to get to this next bit but if i was live i go oh i'm gonna go over here and do anthony fauci for 10 minutes so yeah yeah you can't do that during a special riffing it would be very difficult to capture because you You don't know.

20:52Unless you did 10 nights, unless you did a lo-fi crew and did 10 nights. But so. More crowd work. That's tough. One thing I was just curious, your take on this hot take, that this era of Netflix special and comedians playing stadiums and arenas and multiple nights at Madison Square Garden. I don't know exactly when it started, but it's a phenomena. And I don't know if one of our great female comics, sorry to put it in that box, has made that leap to arenas or Madison Square Garden. Or has someone done that? Yeah, Amy. Well, I've played Madison Square Garden, but not the, I think I did the theater at Madison Square Garden.

21:36I've definitely done Radio City for multiple nights. Amy Schumer played Madison Garden, I believe. There's 20 ,000, 18 ,000. Yeah, that's a big one. I mean, that's going to happen. I mean, I, Amy did arenas. I did an arena tour, you know, at some point in my career, I don't do arenas now. I do like usually three to 4 ,000 seaters, but like, I mean, I think it's going to happen. You know, there's so many people coming up, Taylor Tomlinson, you know, she sells tons of tickets, Otsuko, Otsuko. I mean, there's a ton. So yeah, I think it's also a choice. You know, some comics don't want to move to that level.

22:11Like it's, there's a, there's a level of intimacy. I remember dating Joe Coy and Joe Coy does arenas and I would go and do guest sets at his shows. And I'd be like, this is too many people. Like, how can you, I have so many facial expressions and like subtleties. I, how can that be captured in such a big stadium or arena? And I remember getting off stage being like, Oh, it easily. So like, you kind of have this attitude, like, Oh, I got to keep it intimate. But then when you're exposed to that kind of audience, you're like, well, this is fucking awesome. If they lock in, it's okay. Yeah. You need screens.

22:46I would say there's always large screens. Okay. That works. Yeah. A lot of my jokes are very small. They're not even jokes. Actually. It's not funny. None of my stuff is funny. And so it's harder to play any room. That is difficult for you, David, as a comedian to not have funny material and, or be funny yourself. It's a deficit. You do so well with all that, um, those, those problems of not being funny and not having funny material i've been sometimes i do actually not on my own but when i play the bigger rooms with that adam or something same thing it's it's harder because you see guys like in the in the hallways where you like it's like at a concert where you see those guys those guys selling beer over here there's always someone talking there's always people not everyone's ever focused at once but if they're locked into you like if it's your crowd i see i always say nate vergatzi his crowd he plays big places and they're just waiting for like throwaway jokes, setup jokes.

23:41They're laughing at setups and they're just like so intently listening. I go, that's the dream. Just get people like waiting for every fucking thing you say instead of the big swings. You're like, yeah, but that would do, you know, you got to really sometimes to get everybody at once. You go bigger. I don't know. Yeah, no, I don't think you do now, David. I don't know. I don't even know what's going on right now. So what you're a busy human being. Entrepreneur. I like the word entrepreneur, even though I have no business. We have a correction. I have five books now. This is my seven. Do really well.

24:17Why should people go buy this book? I'll do a lyric. Great question. You know what? If you're into me and you're into my stories and you're into my humor, go buy the book. If you're not, skip it. Like, this is my seventh book and my fifth or fourth stand-up special, to be determined. We still haven't figured that out. And I don't know. I'm, I'm a, I like to be, I like to hustle. You know what I mean? I like to do my own thing and I don't really like direction from people. So as long as I, you are an entrepreneur, you're in charge of your career. You're not a, you're not someone for hire. You do the hire.

24:54Right. Right. Like I don't like to be, I have been hired for jobs, but you know, historically I work best when I'm my own boss. So I do my podcasts, I do my specials, I do my books, I do my like, you know, TV stuff, But I try not to have a long term position where anyone is giving me notes on anything. I would say the only time I've really not enjoyed show business is when I was working with people with different sensibilities and they had power over me. Yeah, that's the worst feeling. Yeah. You know, they're offering. Oh, I just want some advice for a sec. Like they're out. They're asking me, can I write a book?

25:28Just that you don't have to answer this in long form. But what's your advice? Someone writing a book. I mean, did you talk into a tape recorder? or did you have a writer's assistant? Do you just start throwing stuff at the wall or how do you do it? Didn't you, you have a book, Dana. I think I have your book, don't you? Yes, I don't think. No, I didn't. Oh, maybe I'm thinking of your book, David. My book would be too dark. I mean, no one would believe it is the problem, you know, because I, you know, don't have that image, but you know. Well, I think it's pretty, I mean, listen, I think as long as you're honest, for me, I just think honesty is a commodity.

26:05There's a lack of it. People are a little bit scared of honesty and like conflict and uncomfortable things. So I like to like kind of go ahead, like head first into that stuff. And that works for me. And it's like, whatever your point of view is, I think anyone can write a fucking book, especially like in our industry and everybody does. So that should be your first, you know, barometer that you, you can do it. And your stories, the reason why they're yours is because they're not believable. like everyone's stories you could say that about so i would say i don't use it now i don't use a writer's assistant when i write my books i do it all by myself and i just start writing i sit down yeah i type everything on a computer and then i have an editor look at it and then when it's like shaped and it's in some sort of form i'll start sharing it with people but usually i don't i don't like too much feedback like i have like three or four people whose opinions i respect and then based on that, I'll be like, okay, like, I'll go to them for the cover or the title or, you know, like my editor named this book, I'll have what she's having.

27:09I was like, I'm not naming a book, I'll have what she's having about myself. That's so stupid. And she's like, No, that's how you feel after reading the book. I'm telling you, you want what you're having. And I was like, Okay. And then I had to think about it. Because usually I was like, that's a little, but then I was like, Yeah, you're right. I want people. That's what I want to inject people with. It's like a little bit of optimism and in in sad, dark times. What about when Harry met Sally where she says, I'll have what she's having? Was there any conversation of maybe not referring to a famous romantic comedy?

27:40That's part of the famous. No, that's part of the reference. So, yeah. So this is what you have to learn about books. It's kind of like, you know, we have a lot to learn, Deva. Yeah, we're that we're that tight. We go by one name, Deva. But thank you. The only thing I'd be interested in for you is like you're very honest, but then you'll get to a chapter or a point or a story where you're going to hurt somebody maybe. And you like them or you don't like them. How do you navigate that? Or do you just navigate that a little bit? It's a judgment call. Should I bury this person at the party where they were drunk or keep it in?