RE-RELEASE - Jimmy Fallon

23:53Dana Carvey:What is that from? Is it a perfume from the 50s or something? It's from the 80s. Jeez, I feel like Vinny Nicknock of the Detroit Lions in 1910. Vinny Nicknock. Yeah, the onside. I always had a joke that he never did, but he's like, it's so quiet. It's like the soundtrack to a Chuck Chaplin film. Chuck Chaplin. Chuckie Chaplin. That's a real joke or a fake one you made up? No, no, no. It's a fake one that he never did. Chuckie sounds very close. Does anyone ever call you Jim? K6 going on Jim Fallon tonight. Jim, Jim, love an interesting story. I'm working on a new bit, okay? That's exuberant, Dennis.

24:31It's a James Bond film, okay? it's called the bitcoin finger okay bitcoin finger he loves only risk he loves risk that

24:44Dana Carvey:was his joke he did on the show maybe laugh oh is that true oh my god bitcoin finger he loves only risk is what he was singing i love him man oh man oh he's the funniest we do him all the time laughing in the middle of his bed and he starts talking to you christ cha-cha oh i just do him just to soothe myself. Give me a topic, anything. I'll filter it through Dennis of anything. Just ice cream, mint chocolate chip. Mint chocolate chip. Okay, that's front loaded, isn't it? All right, can I have some mints or do I have the chocolate? They're competing with one another, all right? Last thing I need is a confusing scoop of ice cream.

25:24Dana Carvey:All right? How many chips do I fucking need on my bike? Give Jimmy a topic. All right, Jimmy. Yeah, give me one. The grocery store. Right. Okay. Why do we have to go to the... Why does produce have its own section? The produce section, okay? There's not like a cereal section. Cereal section's like... We don't get a section. We don't get a section. The produce gets its own section. Yeah. What am I, Glico? Yeah. I'll have Glico the bag boy. Hey, Glico the bag boy. Why in Christ's sakes we gotta have 600 different kinds of cereal Okay 50 wasn't enough You need 29 fruit loops Variations I want to pay an extra$2 for the organic apple Don't really see the difference Hey Do I want to round up for Ukraine Where's that fucking cash going Come on let's be honest Christ fine ear Qantas Who's up front a koala bear Okay Yeah good 29 hours to Melbourne Paul Hogan in first class going That's not a knife this is a knife Just eat your freaking sandwich Paul Hogan I actually did I submitted a thing At SNL that didn't get on And it was Alligator McGee was a take off on Crocodile Dundee or alligator something And everything was bigger He goes that's not a refrigerator They said refrigerator and it's like 20 times bigger.

26:58Dana Carvey:It's not a lamp. This is a lamp. No, that's not a lamp. Didn't get on. I did a bit once on the show with Schwarzenegger where we were doing QVC hosts and I wanted to talk about this new slicer or something like that and he wanted to talk about the chopper. We had like a veggie chopper and he's like, so he can go like, get to the chopper. And I was like, no, we got to still talk about, you know, we have this new iron it steams your clothes while it irons like get to the chopper and it totally tanked it didn't really work get to the chopper he came on the show once i go i go you smoke cigars right he's like yeah i love the cigar so i go how do you smoke a cigar because i don't really know much about them but isn't don't you like you have to like don't you lick it and then you cut you cut it right You don't lick this cigar.

27:56You don't like licking the cigar. You don't like this guy with the licking. You don't like the cigar with the cigar licking.

28:07Dana Carvey:He is so positive. There is no problem in life with Arnold. One of my brothers would always say, what would Arnold do? If something's late, like the cab's late, that's all right we walk a couple blocks we still look around we see a better cab and we actually get a faster ride to our destination you know he i love his positivity go up the mountain there's probably we can make a zip line out of the vines and just zip line down to the place that's right we forgot those skis so we get the wood from the forest we chop and we make wooden skis we strap them together with the pantyhose or whatever we have and we go down the mountain we take the Spanx.

28:50We take the Spanx off and inflate our Spanx to make a hot air balloon so that we can fly to the destination. We'll get much faster and better for the environment.

28:59Dana Carvey:And we give rides for children. The children go and we make lots of money in all these things. Oh, where's he going? Speedy, he took a break. Jimmy, can you remember the catchphrase we had when I hosted in like 1999? You were... I know what it is. This is why I knew Jimmy and I had the same sense of humor, because I was a running gag of me being cocky, you know, Hans. So the whole idea was, and the show was doing fine, but all week long, I would just say, in reference to the current SNL, So long, golden era. Goodbye. Farewell, Emmy nominations. Goodbye. It's show. So long, memorable characters.

29:47Goodbye Emmy nominations.

29:51Dana Carvey:Arrivederci. Arrivederci. Peabody Awards. Farewell. What was the one? You did this kind of redneck character last time you were on with Mike Myers. Red Redneck-y. Red Redneck-y, the redneck comedian. I actually have a couple in case you asked for that. That's my favorite thing. I'm Red Redneck, the redneck comedian. I said daddy what's for dinner He said shit on a shingle I said this day just keeps getting Better and better Come on get some Come on get some I went to the doctor he said we gotta amputate your left foot I said can I keep my right foot He said sure I said come on get some So no matter how naked He's positive My mama said What do you want to do with your life I said I don't know live in a shack drink beer all day mama said don't ever dream too big red because you always end up disappointed it's all about the come on yeah you got to get to it don't make the joke too long because everyone's waiting for coming it's home oh it's like sometimes they're not jokes yeah sometimes they're not really jokes the first one was kind of a joke i met my sister only because mama turned me down come on we're back okay i'll give you one carson one carson because you like that one too yeah i I love it.

31:12Dana Carvey:Johnny Carson getting pulled over for drunk driving, 1972. Oh, sorry, officer. I didn't know I was swerving. I had two strawberry boom-booms at the Hickory Hut. That's it. Come on, geez, home. Sorry, didn't I? I was swerving. I had two mandolinies. No, no. I had two at mandolinies. Yeah, it's at mandolinies. That's two somethings at somebody's, right? Strawberry boom-boom, tomato. I had two. I had two. I had two rhubarbs. I had a silly goose up with a twist. I had a purple nurple. I had a silly goose over at Matt. I had two silly gooses at Mandolinis. Kate Mandolinis. Remember Kate Mandolinis?

31:54Oh, yeah. Chris Rock took me there years ago and paid for my meal and I had no money. Jimmy, do Chris Rock. You do him. What are you going to get to auto? You got to eat or you gotta just stand there? What are you gonna... Why would you even give me a menu? Just eat. Just give me what people eat. What? Something like that? I like when he goes, I used to bust him for repeating everything. He goes, Obama. And then everyone laughs. Then he goes, President Obama. They laugh again. He goes, Barack. Oh, I go, let's go. What is it? Your act is only 20 minutes is what you said. Yeah, exactly. Barack Obama.

32:43Obama, the president. Yeah. The president. Black guys won't eat the pussy. Black guy will not eat your pussy. Or the white guy will. Or the white guy, he will.

33:01Dana Carvey:That's not even his act. That's made that up. Okay, we're getting blue now. How about, all right, Sandler, could you, everyone does Sandler. No, you do it. Did you audition with Sandler? Let me do my, every time Adam is mentioned on this podcast, I just go Tha Ba Thu. So I just did it. So he'll be hearing this. Tha Ba Thu. But you have the best Sandler. You did him on SNL. I did him on my audition because I loved it because his impression are like three impressions in one, three levels. He used to do that. That guy, you know, I was talking to my mother the other day And you know My mom would always say And then he goes The second version She would always say Hey hey Why don't you take The laundry down And my dad would say Shut up Oh my god That is so fucking great That is Oh That is The casual Sandler Old stand up voice Is good Old Sandler That is a brilliant observation I remember I was buzzing Into my grandma's apartment And I pressed the buzzer And she said Who is this?

34:08Who is there? And I said it's Adam Your grandson Who? Charles Manson? Oh yeah Charles Manson Oh I don't want you to come in I don't want Charles Manson I don't want Charles Manson I don't want Charles Manson Oh yeah I had a Vicks I was sick my mom was rubbing that Vicks Cold stuff on my chest And then our eyes connected And I go hey mom we're just friends right That's a good bit Oh my goodness That's his bit But I can't get his voice You're doing the voice right How do you do How do you do Smigel Smigel's close to Sandler Mmm Smigel I don't know Interesting Cause he's like Jimmy He's very He's kind of like Sandler Very low key Yeah very low key Let me hear it I was thinking Well I was You wanna You wanna try That's good Right he says laughing Yeah Little whispering Oh here's my Smigel Jimmy me when i'm pitching him when i was at snl and i'd pitch go in his little three foot wide office where they're writing killer sketches and i'd knock and go hey do you want to help me with this and he goes uh what is it and he has a nervous laugh because he doesn't want to do my sketch so i go it's about a guy who does this and he goes uh i don't i don't think i i don't think i could do that i don't i don't think i like that one in the nicest way laughing at you he's so nice but

35:34Dana Carvey:he's kind of laughing nervously like how do i tell him yeah he's paid and he would just look off into space and start laughing you ever seen him do that where he's just he's in the room he's just staring at at the wall or something laughing looking up i love making him laugh though because when you do make him laugh i made him laugh once he never put it in a sketch but it was like how does uh dracula what if dracula was a comedy writer and he was like uh judging the the laughs So it's like, he's like, muah-ah-ah-ah, muah-ah-ah. And then you tell another joke. He goes, muah-ah. The blah, blah, blah, blah.

36:10The blah, blah, muah-ah. I like the other one. What do you do? The muah-ah-ah-ah-ah. And they go, how about this joke? He goes, muah-ah. That's muah-ah. It's like judging that. But I was at once, we did it. He does those charity things. They're really great. Nine of too many stars. Nine of too many stars for autism. and i did it i did a bit with tina fey and we were in uh we're at radio city or someplace and it had an orchestra pit in the front and uh he came out and um he had a laptop with him and he's you know he's got his glasses on i go uh uh what are you doing what's up what are you doing smygo and he goes oh i'm uh i'm changing all the uh i'm changing all the fucks to shits because we're airing on comedy central so we can't say dirty words so i'm changing all the the fucks to uh shits i go uh oh cool or whatever so i'm doing our bit with me and tina and i see smigel backing up and he's typing in this thing and he backs up and he falls into the orchestra no he falls like six feet down into the i go holy i run over i go smigel are you okay dude what's up are you he looked like a like a jerry lewis would look like if he fell it was like a like an outlet like a chalk outline of a body his glasses were broken and the laptop was in three pieces and i ran down I go dude oh my god are you okay buddy and he goes without missing a beat he goes change all the fucks to shit oh my god that's too funny by the way what a dumb note like no one's offended by shit like that was his last words

37:45Dana Carvey:wow that was I'm gonna laugh about that even more later that's gonna go through my head today it's so funny man that's so Robert he is so fucking obsessed

37:58I went to a concert with Lorne. We went to go see Sting and Paul Simon and it was an amazing concert. So, they're playing together Paul Simon and Sting and Paul Simon, you know, is probably in his 70s I think and so he just looks like Paul Simon in his 70s and Sting is next to him and he's just jacked. Yeah, he is. He's got muscles fit and he's got like a t-shirt pulled down like a John Barbados kind of wrinkled and he's a badass and he's just looks and he's playing bass and he's just got veins come out of his muscles and so i came in i went and got two beers and a couple hot dogs and i gave it to lauren i go how old is uh sting and lauren's like he's probably 63 years i go i don't think i ever want to be in that good of shape when i'm 63 and without missing a beat lauren goes uh i don't think you have any problem no you go oh wait what's he saying i'm sorry he goes I don't think that'll be a problem I go I don't never want to be that I don't want to be that in that good of shape when I'm 62 it's not something you have to worry about yeah I don't think you have to worry about that

39:04Dana Carvey:do you have other Lorna isms because I've done some on this podcast but he is he's a philosopher and I don't know sometimes if if they're original because they're so brilliant or he gets them from elsewhere but do you remember you would do Danny you did guess which Paul oh he's like well i'm having dinner the other night with paul guess which paul uh that would be paul mccartney wrong paul provenza uh well what's the you know that joke how do you get to lauren's house what's the directions to lauren lauren's house i don't know uh you go up to main street and then you go right right right right right that's funny right jimmy do you feel like Interestimate the value of water.

39:49Do I feel like I'm Lauren's best friend?

39:51Dana Carvey:Out of all the SNL people. You've worked longer with him if you had SNL and then the two late shows. And now, so you've worked closely with him as long as any, but 25 years or something. Yeah, I would say he definitely is my best friend. But I mean, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have gotten Late Night. NBC didn't really want me. They wanted someone else. that's crazy and i remember when i heard you were available and they were thinking how about that that's so fucking perfect i was like if you felt like doing it because you know we were leaving i was leaving snl and then conan had signed something where he was going to get the tonight show in like six years or something five years yeah something like that was such a fucked up thing i never heard of that happening they didn't want they wanted to keep jay but not lose conan that was the compromise yeah so i remember i was leaving us and lauren goes well do you ever want to maybe host a show you know you could take over conan in five years and i go i don't know if i would do that i mean i think i'm going to be you know big hollywood star he's like but i'm like i'm gonna go do movies or everything he's like uh and tina fay was in the office she was like i think you'd be great at that you're like irish and you like to go to bars and talk to people and talk to everyone it would be right up your alley that's all it takes yeah and all the stuff that you you got to do on on the talk shows that weren't totally snl friendly they were just different long dance numbers and we'll go over those in a minute but it was like but so so then i go and i try movies they didn't work uh and same same and then i'll tell you something that sandler had said to me because i had clean slate and trapped in paradise and i know you had too as well and i had things i I was developing with Smigel and other people.

41:36Dana Carvey:But Sandler at one point said to me, sidles up, you could do it better, goes, Carvey, they don't, they mean the people making movies that aren't us. They don't really know how to do it. They don't really know how to make it, where to put the camera to be funny, you know? Wow. I never forgot that. Yeah, because you said something once I found fascinating. The idea of you get to the set at 5.30 and you do the thing and the blocking in the master shop by four 10 hours later you've said the line 150 times 200 times and now you're going to say it for the movie it's like it's not even english it's not even sound like i go dude i peaked at like 10 in the morning you want me to be funny now i'm so exhausted i'm like i can't be funny and like then it's i movies which just weren't my thing at all but then so then lauren uh i go he goes five years later and he goes uh remember i asked you that thing i go yeah i go well, let me ask my wife because now I'm married.

42:33So I go, okay. So I asked Nancy. She's like, you got to do it. You got to do it. I mean, look at the list. I mean, Letterman, Conan, and you. That's a great list. You have to do it even if it doesn't work. So she was like, I'll move to New York. And so I said, yeah, I want to do it. And then NBC was like, yeah, we're not sure we want to be in the Jimmy Fallon business. Oh, really?

42:53Dana Carvey:What the fuck? After all your SNL stuff and your talk show appearances? When did you host the Video Music Awards? Because I thought you did a great job. I go oh this is a whole new thing like you were perfect for that and you were playing your guitar 2004 or something like that or 2002 or something like that was that during SNL or right after that was during SNL oh no that was right after SNL that's why I was leaving to do movies and stuff because that was like a good all around you were a smash right away right when you got on that late night show I mean pretty much right well it worked yeah kind of smash was a strong word Dana Yeah, smash is a strong word.

43:33Dana Carvey:I'll say stuff that I say about Jim, Jimmy, when he's not around. There's never been anyone with your range and you're so versatile talent-wise. There's no one. No, I'm going back to Steve Allen. And then also your likability is a 12. And then your interview skills where you make it all about the person. You're just like Carson. so I thought you were like made out of a factory and then tall and handsome I was like and he can play guitar and he does Dylan and he can do Neil Young better than Neil Young and you two could make it tonight and they think the roots in Jimmy are better than you two it's like it goes on and on so yeah I felt you were made out of some kind of German factory we shall make the greatest talk show host six foot two check voices check likeability check Let him go.

44:28Dana Carvey:Releasing. I heard from somebody, a little birdie told me, that when you and Justin Timberlake are out there doing all your choreography with the choreographer, that you get it in one take. This woman does like 10 steps, and you're like, you can do that too. So that's my mic drop on complimenting Jimmy Fallon. I'll take the mic drop from Danny Carvey. And Jimmy's willing to travel to Coney Island for bits. That's right. Because when they do, like I always tell them when I come to New York, I go, so you do the show, which is already like a beating. Just a long day and you have to be very present and focused.

45:04We're going to do this. We've got to rehearse this bit. And then sometimes after the show, you travel somewhere and pre-tape something. It's like J-Lo wants to go on the Jungle Gym and we've got to go to Long Island for this bit. And then you've got to do Bumper Cars with Chris Hemsworth. You've got to do it.

45:20Dana Carvey:30 years in, Letterman stopped doing that, right? When you get to hit 30, you know, Christ's sakes, into that fourth decade, I think it's a hard out at 530, all right? I mean, that's – how are you pacing yourself, I think is the question. Right, David? Yeah. Yeah, I don't – I think, you know, there's something about this that's fun that's different than SNL is because it's every day. So SNL, if you did a sketch and it was in a tank, you had to wait. You have a week to be depressed. Yeah. And you're like, oh, that was awful, so embarrassing. This one, if I do a bit that tanks, I have another show the next day, and I go, oh, I'll recover tomorrow.

45:59Well, you also have full say. Like at SNL's read-through, then you're crossing your fingers, and you get on like a fifth of what you hand in. If you're there, you like something it's in. You don't like something it's out. That's kind of good. At least you go with your strength. You go, I think I can make this one work. We've got great writers. We're in a good groove right now. We've got some great writers here and good producers. It's like, oh, it's super fun. And it's like, you know, when it's really fun, it's like kind of camp almost, like summer camp, everyone's together. And I got a bit and I got a bit and I got a thing.

46:29And it's like, that's exciting for me. And so every day I come in and you go, oh, that's such a dumb idea, but I love it. Let's do it because it will make me laugh. Right. And when you go on the show, Dana knows for the audience, you're very helpful. So, you know, it's a fun atmosphere. You get backstage, you come back, bullshit a second. and then you go out there and if I'm stumbling through a bit, you're jumping in, helping and making sure everything works. So all that stuff helps because you want everyone to look good and the show keeps going. But the show keeps going still, still, still. So I guess it's just up to you to figure out one day if it's just too much of a beating.

47:04Dana Carvey:Jimmy is the only, and I've loved all my hosts, Letterman, everybody, Conan, all of them. Jimmy is the only one who I literally could go out and throw anything at him. Like I said, any accent any bit he would just start laughing and just go right at it so that that's that is singularly unique and the next time i'm in new york which i gotta come out soon because i just want to hang out with you i'm gonna surprise you with something don't tell me what it is and don't tell me what you're doing i'm not gonna tell you because and let's see what i might decide when i'm behind the curtain when you're introducing me but i'm gonna i did that to jerry we had jerry lewis on the show and I did that to him and he didn't really roll with it it was weird he was like wait you want to do this now I'm like I'm like let's have the roosts play jazz and you do the jazz bit where like you're oh you open your mouth and you point that thing oh my god that's which is brilliant I go play with it see if it's fun and he goes and he goes uh he goes yeah he goes you know it's so weird again getting older I haven't been in the city in so long um actually you know he when he came out he started doing like old jerry lewis voice so he was like i i first time i was you know and he started wow really really interesting i was like cool and then he goes but i'm older now and i'm in so i'm taking the subway and i'm on the subway and uh and he goes um and i see this kid with dyed hair he has a spiked right he has a red a green a blue hair and he's piercings everywhere uh and he's just and i'm just looking at him and this kid goes uh uh what are you looking at you got a problem i go oh wow uh i go what'd you say to him he goes i said uh no just uh 20 years ago i had sex with a parrot i think you might beat my son he was like setting me up for a joke the whole time it's kind of funny i felt bad for him i thought he was getting picked on on the subway and then he was just setting up this joke oh it was dark it crushed it crushed it crushed it was so funny he's like no i just had sex with the parrot 20 years ago i think you might be my son I had that's a good weird bit though and I actually like it's out of left field yeah I love it I had dinner accidentally with the ingenue in cinderfella this we're going back to Jerry Lewis in the mid 60s where he is uh writing directing producing his movies yeah and um it was and then so I did watch some of it where he does this long dance and on the sound stage and it really is avant-garde it's it's it's no wonder the uh french love him it was i appreciated it so much more i watched it like six months ago i was like damn so that is kind of brilliant the one where he's getting in the argument he's he's the boss and he's has a cigar and he's yelling to the jazz yeah it's the best thing it's unbelievable and and and it's it's it might have been called self-indulgent then but now it's like it just keeps going and going and going and it just it's it's brilliant really i I'm aware I thought Sandler was talking about doing a remake of Cinderfell in the old, old days.

50:04It sounds kind of up his alley. He can say that's true or not. But I remember, why did I hear that? I think he really just thought Jerry Lewis was funny. Spader, are you doing a new Netflix movie? You know, that's a great question, Jimmy. I'm glad that when I just texted you that, you got it.

50:24Because you know what? The Wrong Missy was unbelievably funny. It was fantastic. I loved it. you know and everyone i recommend everyone i'm like dude you want to laugh watch the wrong missy you won't even believe how funny and everyone's like this is the funniest movie ever the wrong missy we stumbled upon and i'm finally there was a rumor at the beginning you were going to ask us questions but i'm glad it's finally happening uh the wrong missy rumor there's a rumor when you

50:47Dana Carvey:were like i want to ask you guys stuff i'm like that movie did 200 billion minutes or however they keep track i mean it was insane you know a billion we did a billion seconds three billion And they go, it's the number one movie in the world. And you're like, I can't believe it. They're like, um, we can't believe it. That's pretty funny. And then like for a week straight, they're like, number one in the world, number one in the world. And I'm like, who is the actress that played Missy? Lauren Lapkus. And she's great. Holy moly. She was funny. Yeah. Jim Carrey S level. Yes. Like just enough, just enough to be so funny and not annoying.

51:25It was like brilliantly done. And she should have won an Oscar. She should have won a funny. And really, honestly, you know, Jimmy, I was thinking that because when Tiffany Haddish was up for an Oscar for Road Trip, was it? I was thinking, oh, it is actually possible. Yeah. Like, Lauren could have been up for that because, I mean, it's R-rated and stuff. But she was so good and so out of the blue. Never seen anything like it. I was so impressed. And the movie did so well that I was like, it wouldn't surprise me. It would have surprised me because that stuff doesn't happen and it did not. Who directed that?

51:58What team was that? That was Tyler Spindell. That was from Happy Madison. Yeah, I know him. Adam's nephew. Yeah, he's good. He's doing a new one with Pierce Brosnan right now. But I would do another Wrong Missy. I'm actually meeting someone today about a movie with Lauren. Because Lauren... Yeah, do a sequel, Wronger Missy. Well, we're like Bogey and McCall at this point, I feel. Which one's Bogey? I don't know. I don't know who those people are.

52:28there was like an old laurel and hardy bit they used to go like no me and the boss are just like this and he crossed their fingers and he goes which one's you he's like well at any point like well this one's like yeah it crossed which finger is the boss yeah get out of here by the way enough about me but i did like that thank you jimmy no no problem the also when you guys were talking about neil young i had a confession that you said people have different levels of their voice when i was listening to uh guns and roses who a lot of you people know it's a new band the number one song the number one song when he would do uh guns and roses what did he do that old song roses mama take this badge oh yeah uh i thought it was two people singing Guns N' Roses with Welcome to the Jungle Because he goes low and then he goes higher You two fucking fools Listen to my story Alright go ahead Dave Checking in on Revive the Boss Bruce Springsteen A man and his guitar A man who likes to call his guitar his own And here he is He writes Dear Casey Dear Casey Can I ever play guitar like Bruce Springsteen?

53:46And the answer is yes keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars dear casey i'm a bit of a fuck up is there any chance for me in show business of course there he writes dear casey i'm a complete

53:59Dana Carvey:dick to most people i meet how can i be a nicer person dear casey i read playboy just for the articles dear casey this may be off subject but i wake i whack off 35 times a day dear casey i put a Fitbit on my left hand and I get no steps. I put Fitbit on my right hand, I get$500 million. What am I doing with my right hand? Dear Casey, my socks tend to droop. How can I hold them up and keep them from drooping? Writes Ben Swiller from Tallahassee, Florida. I put my girlfriend's scrunchie around my dick and balls. Is there an easy way to get off? Oh, come on, we're going blue today. Well, I don't care.

54:37Dana Carvey:What are you doing? I don't care. What are you doing? What are you doing to me? What is this, a corporate gig? Hey, this guy over here, this guy over there, over here. No. Get over here. Get out of here. Yeah, we got enough of the blue. Get over here first and then get out of here. Get over here. Get the fuck out of here. Get over here. Hey, get over here. Get out of here. All right, David, finish your story. Now I feel bad. Nobody gives a fat fuck about my stupid story about Axl Rose, who's a - You thought it was two people. Thank you, Jimmy. You tracked that story. But that was the one where he goes, mama, take this badge.

55:12Mama, take this badge.

55:13Dana Carvey:from me. And he goes, well, give me welcome to the jungle. You gotta be able to do it. Knockin' on heaven's door because he goes, knock. No, he goes, knock, knock. Knockin' on heaven's door. Yeah. And I thought that was a different person. Yeah. Oh, you did. Didn't you fucking follow the story? You're so, you're Arizona. I hate your guts. You Arizona guys. Who are you talking to, me or Dana? No, I like you, Jimmy. You seem cool. We're supposed to have dinner tonight. You know what, Dana, when you come to New York. At a celebrity hangout. Ooh. Oh yeah, we are going to go to dinner. Me and Dana are.

55:46We're cheating on you, Jimmy. Oh, is Flying the Wall being a hit just changing you guys? Do you act different now? We're cockier. You are? And you go to hotspots now? LA hotspots?

55:57Dana Carvey:We go to hotspots with CNBC and I'm a man about town. Woo! Making a move in my 60s. Here I come. He's too old. He can't. No one can do it. He's doing. Check his Wikipedia. You're getting famous about talking about a show that made you famous. I'm like. He didn't fade. He's as sharp as ever. Almost AD. I listen to you and Smart List. They're my favorite podcast. Oh, what about Clueless? That's David's new podcast. I'm sorry. I like to go back to the scrunchie around the balls. That was a real question. All right, I won't interrupt that. Is it easy to get off or go? My wife loves this podcast. Oh, she doesn't like it to go too blue.

56:39Dana Carvey:She doesn't mind people say, fuck, motherfucker shit. but you know deep downtown gynecological type stuff and balls and dick. Maybe it's not a favorite. Downtown, uptown, round down. Round down down. I'm doing George Carlin. Oh yeah. Later George Carlin. George, drop the G and you'll have orange. Why are there no blue fruits? There's no blue fruits. You can download Upload Uptown Download. Big shoes. Big shoes. Little shoes. Brown shoes. Yellow shoes. Girls shoes Boys shoes Everyone needs shoes Garage Leather shoes They're not selling the garage Honey We're selling the garage The king of lists He was He had an incredible mindset He memorized the lists And he would just Yeah Groovey yogurt Strawberry yogurt Vanilla yogurt He'll shut the fuck up All the fuck At the end it was like that It was like There's no blue food And you go What about blueberries And he goes Okay there's one I waited on George Carlin at the Holiday Inn in 1976.

57:42Oh, I've heard. Tell Jimmy. I brought him a bowl. And we liked it. We liked it. I loved it. I don't know. I waited on George Carlin in 1956. And he was doing hippy-dippy weather, man. He's a hippy-dippy weather, man.

58:00Dana Carvey:He's not a normal weather, man. He's a hippy-doo weather, man. Tomorrow's forecast, hot. Tonight's forecast, dark. tomorrow's forget far out man far out man he's the greatest greatest guy ever man what about a guy who talks like this what's your latest most of my impressions are that just go i was pat o 'brien i did everybody like that i did a pat o 'brien's great dj everything was this voice i would do a welcome back you're listening to z105 everybody and we're here with you know with the great David Spade David we're just talking back I wanted to talk about your movie we'll be right back on the Z Z105 and then you go to commercial and you go David thanks for being here man we're going to talk about your movie I was so funny on Netflix alright here we go we're coming right back and we're back here Z105 I'm here with David Spade hey David I did not like your movie that was terrible and you go wait you just told me before that's basically how you do Regis Philbin.

59:04Dana Carvey:You gotta go there if you're gonna do Regis. Honest to God, is there anyone better than Jimmy Fallon? He's very nasal. I've stolen your Regis Philbin. I do your Regis Philbin when I do it, and I do Dana yelling like Regis Philbin. That's it. You got it.

59:25Damn, I got one, Jimmy. Yeah, go. I gotta go in a little bit. But Jimmy, we have a hard hour. No, Jimmy, when you go on these radio shows like they go uh uh dana like you're doing a gig in that town and they go you got you got to call into the zoo oh yeah yeah tommy so they go like this hey david we got 30 seconds okay we're gonna put you on hold and we pick up it's gonna be jim bobo zip zip a talking zebra a bitcoin a robot and a cockatoo okay you'll know who everyone is okay here we go three two one and you go wait what am i what's going on i was a i was a dj i was a dj see if

1:00:02Dana Carvey:you guys think this is funny it's not but i was a dj in college and i would go i go it's it's um it's 3 13 in the city 2 11 on the dane rock it was always a different time than the real time four o 'clock in the city 3 p.m on the dane rock i don't know what that was my moniker It's not bad. It didn't stick. I like it. It didn't stick. Because you're on your own planet. You're on your own thing when you're listening to Dane Rock. Dane Rock, I know. I know. I like it. It's 3 p.m. in Sacramento, but it's 1230. In the Jimmy Rock. On the Jimmy Rock. I used to get just Tommy and the Bull. It's Tommy and the Bull.

1:00:43Dana Carvey:You know, you wake up at 6 a.m. playing some shitbox club in Mississippi. Tommy and the Bull. Yeah, the Greaseman. Remember the Greaseman? Oh, I remember Grease. The Grease. What about like is, dear, never pay for a woman's lunch. All right. Jimmy, I'll ask you one last question. David, do you have one last question? Does he get one last one? Okay, you got one minute. I was going to summarize this whole appearance. Danny usually gets one last question, then you summarize. Go ahead, Dana. What was it like on Saturday Night Live? You know when you're leaving? That's the worst question. Did you ever listen to Howard Stern always ends his interviews the best where he's like, all right, well, we've done it all.

1:01:19We've said it all No Jimmy You've done it all David you've done it all So we've said it all It's great You're getting pushed out the door They're like that's the end of the interview I like his laugh when he goes Oh yeah

1:01:40I used to do an impression of him That was pretty good

1:01:44Dana Carvey:Can I do my Trump not saying anything for you Yeah There's no subject frankly let me tell you you're going to be seeing a lot of it that i could tell you i mean when you look at it and it didn't work out so great for some of those people you're seeing it all over the place many people are saying we don't want that we're not people who do that okay so when you look at it what they're doing look at all of it people are very disappointed because it's a terrible deal a really bad deal we're going to be doing something very soon and you're going to be seeing a lot of it you're going to be happy like you wouldn't believe he literally has no subject matter he's not talking about anything oh anything that could fit into anything that's his genius wait do you have one do you have one come on do you have one question sorry dana how was what was it like on saturday night live all right so david do you want to summon it no i would say what are you happiest about when people stop you at an airport or on the street and when they mention a specific thing throughout your long career which is the one that kind of go oh you know that one You like that one, huh?

1:02:45Dana Carvey:Yeah. You may not have that at the tip of your brain. Oh, well, like Cowbell is the sketch everyone asks about. Oh, yeah. That one, which by the way. Let's not sleep on Cowbell. One of the best of all time. That was not, I almost didn't make it to air. That was not supposed to make it to air. It was in the, it was in the, what do you call that? The death one, the before Good Nights. Yes, it's in the death one. It was in the death space. With Christopher Walken? Yep. Oh, wow. Christopher Walken and Will Ferrell. And it aired probably right at the end of the show, like probably 10 to 1. Oh, 5 to 1, yeah.

1:03:20It was 5 to 1. It was a weird sketch. And everyone was on fire, dude. Everyone was being super funny. And it was like my third or fourth show on the show. And I remember that's where I got the reputation for laughing and breaking in the scene because it was just everyone was – Will Ferrell was so funny and Catan and Horatio. and then Walken was doing like an impression of Walken. He wasn't even doing it himself. He was, you know, we've got to walk, walk, walk. You know, he was like. I got a hankering for more cowbell.

1:03:49Dana Carvey:Yeah. And the room started shaking. Do you know when the room, when SNL is like shaking? It's hooked. Yeah. I mean. I was there that night. You were? I did a guest spot or something and I remember it. I call it levitated the room. Like went to another level. Yeah. What sketch of yours crushed the hardest? that levitated the room? I was doing, yeah. Headmoor and Harry with the dog is up there. I was there for that. I was doing Church Lady with Joe Montana and Walter Payton, a lot of sexual innuendo. I wasn't my proudest moment, but this old guy came up to me afterwards. You know, I've been in charge of sound.

1:04:29Dana Carvey:I've been looking at the meters for decades and I never seen him peak like that. Wow. And I said, come on, geez. all right what was your crusher bye-bye too many to mention uh no uh bye-bye also um and you are bye-bye was probably the one that we only did once or twice that that had the most lasting effect and then uh oh one of the best moments is when farley grabs me by the neck and goes lay off me i'm starving yeah the gap girls yeah when he goes lay off me i'm starving no wait it starts monday Wait, how do we all do impressions And David, you did not do Michael J. Fox Oh, we do that a lot of shows Yeah, casually It's because it's sad I only do one No, it's not People are waiting for it It's the end of the podcast Hey, Sarge And casual things of war, Michael J.

1:05:25Fox Hey, listen You gotta give me a minute on this here, Sarge She's just a farm girl She did nothing wrong You should do a cameo As Michael J. Fox Like you know those things It's nine dollars Yeah and you charge a buck Say Sarge

1:05:45Dana Carvey:You guys should do None of us are on SNL We do celebrity cameos You should do on your show Do all impressions and everyone does their cameo Yeah It's funny Hey I heard it's your birthday Sarge you're getting your birthday sarge you're gonna have i can't do it without saying sarge to someone i need sarge you gotta have sarge in there thank you he's talking to uh sean penn in the scene because sean penn attacked a farm girl and uh you're getting your kidney removed sarge and i just wanted to wish you the key to get an oscar is always look like the sun is in your eyes yeah man he sucks oh yeah that is good you're squinting that's part of it don't give away all the tricks alright Jimmy I know you got the show tonight we appreciate yeah enjoy the show tonight I love thank you so much for inviting me to do the show we loved having you you guys are two of my favorite comedians ever on the planet and I just love both you guys so much and congrats on the show and I hope I didn't bore you guys too much no way you're the fucking stud it was such a blast I told David last night on our walkie talkie I go Jimmy's just gonna be fun and you were it was just a blast It was just a blast.

1:06:55Dana Carvey:I love it. We didn't get to all the questions. We were supposed to ask a lot of new questions. Didn't get to them. It was just a surprise scare band. Hey, go to the Gap. Come and get yourself. Surprise some of the cable-cooking sweaters. Okay, bye. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye, boys. Hey, what's up, Flies? What's up, Fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewall at cadence13.com. Yeah, you read it. Okay. This is from Linda Brandt. Hi, David and Dana. That's nice. Hi, Linda. If you could go back and be on any season of SNL other than your own, which cast would you most want to work with?

1:07:40Dana Carvey:And what do you think you could add to the mix? Thanks for the podcast. I look forward to it almost every week. Sometimes I'm busy. That's too much information. So anyway, what do you think? Who would you go back to or forward to? I have a big coat on right now. By the way, if we ever sell merch, Dana, we'll sell just a black T-shirt. That's your merch. It's called Be Simple and Black. It's called Be Cool. You're cool. Chicks like this. If you have a pair of Levi's and a black T-shirt, you're kind of fit like most of our crew is here. The ladies go crazy. It's all about the relationship between the shoulder and the hip.

1:08:12If I had to go back in time and do an SNL cast, I think I would probably want to be on that first year just because it was such an explosion just blew up the whole country and no one saw it coming I don't think I could add a lot to it I'm not a super character guy I would just like to be there because it was so cool and it was such a big fucking deal

1:08:35Dana Carvey:Thank you David I think that when I think about people I'd like to play with I couldn't really pick a cast or a season, but I'd love to have been in Cone Eds with Dan Aykroyd, or loved to have done something with Bill Murray. I got to do stuff with Phil Hartman and Mike Myers and Adam Thobalthoo and all those people. Whenever you make a list, later on, you're up at night. What's wrong, honey? I forgot to mention, I'd love to be in a killer sketch with Will Ferrell. I did do one where Will is 6 '4", 230, and I played his dad, Bush Sr. He was Bush Jr., and he had to sit on my lap. I'm 5 '8", 150 on a good day.

1:09:13Dana Carvey:So that was, but the surgery was successful. So the hip, but no, we did do that. And that was awesome. I do also, well, I like everybody. I think the current cast is best. I hate a grumpy old man and my day was better. I say the current cast, I would love to go in there with Chris Redd and Heidi Gardner and, you know, obviously that's all I can do. I'm sorry. I can't answer the question because it's a fool's game. You know, it takes people a long time to know the cast. So by the time you know them well, is about the time when they leave. So the cast is usually more famous after the show. When we were there, not many people knew us.

1:09:49And then you leave and they go, oh, that was such a great time. Meanwhile, everyone said we sucked. So when we were there, and that usually happens. They go, this cast sucks.

1:09:56Dana Carvey:I wish I'd stayed a few more as long. I could have gone toe to toe with you since we should have done some kind of like, hey, I'm Fricky, I'm Fracky. You know, it's like little talk show characters. Fricky and Fracky could have possibly gone a read through and crushed it. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now! Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

1:10:38Dana Carvey:Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet-Tech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us. Any questions to be asked and answered on the show, you can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com. That's A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.