RE-RELEASE - John Mulaney

36:43Because that makes sense. there's moments where I go oh but on the second time I hosted I had this laugh here and whatever um but I've had more and more fun each time the first time I hosted I was deeply in my head about um yeah normal wasn't going to be good and this wasn't only not going to be good but everyone was going to go see we told you to stay behind the camera we've been clear with you where you belong in this show, the audacity of you to show up and try to do this. Like, I really thought like, uh, I had a very weird kind of, uh, I was like, I remember the Friday night before I was like miserable.

37:24I was like, I'm so bad at SNL. And that's the thing I thought I knew the best. And then I had a really fun show and I realized that I was just trying to make myself miserable because if I'm miserable the night before, then it will be a good show. Oh, that's a good trick. This trick I used to do, but I try not to do it anymore because it's too excruciating throughout the day. And like mental health wise to stretch myself to tie myself into knots so that I, quote unquote, you know, deserve a good show because I'm so miserable. By the second time I hosted, I made an active choice. I was like, I'm going to be happy all week.

38:02I'm going to have fun all week. and if it's a bad show then i'll know that yeah it was wrong to have fun but at least i will have had fun and it was a very good show so since then i've been like you have to enjoy these weeks otherwise um otherwise what's the point it is it is funny to take such a beating over yourself when you host dana's probably feels the same way you're just so stressed and then at the end you're like why do i even do this like right before the show you're like i feel so sick and tied up and twisted. Then you go, I did it. And you're like, so I did it. Now the fun starts. I'm at the wrap party.

38:39It's the only time I'm starting to have fun. It's over. And you realize, could I just get to the point where I have fun the whole time? I had a little bit of, I couldn't really live up to what the lucky, crazy, fortunate three or four years I had on the show with Wayne's World and all this stuff. So it was always, you'll do Church Lady. And then it was, you'll do George Bush senior, and it's like 18 years later. So the thing in my head was like, how do I compete with that across the board? And that was a very, that was kind of difficult for my, and especially, I think what's nice the way it's happening for you, John, is that it's kind of condensed.

39:20It's not like you hosted it in 2013, and then you're coming back eight years later. I think it's kind of nice that you've done five already in a short period of time just to acclimate to that. Yeah, yeah. No one's expecting a lot of growth. Well, you have those crazy, those standup specials and then your monologue is always great, pretty much. Right. Right. That's your superpower. And so that sets a great. But also, I remember saying to Gerard Carmichael, who had an amazing episode as a host this year, who's a brilliant comedian and a brilliant many things. I remember I was like, it was when I was talking to him, I realized I was like, oh, you know what?

40:04It's it's eight minutes of stand up in front of 10 million people. And you're the only thing. I realize it's like you're the only thing on NBC for 10 minutes like you're that your stand up is the only thing happening on terrifying yourself very relaxing I find that kind of uh emboldening it's like wow you gotta go out with an attitude I mean how do you do your specials I mean how many times do you shoot a special like say to get gorgeous just two two shows that's two and One night? Two shows. I think it was one night. And so how do you deal with that pressure if the first show in your mind is like a C plus, just in your mind?

40:53The first show of Kid Gorgeous was a C plus in my mind. I was so disappointed. I couldn't believe it. I'd been on tour for so long, and now this special was bad. It was going to be so bad that everyone would be mad at me or disappointed in me and say, you used to be good and you're bad and we don't like you and all of that stuff. Have you had therapy? We'll talk about that later. Yeah, no, it's funny. I've had a ton of it, so go ahead. Well, John, also the cameras are there. I've done a few, but the cameras are there. It just throws it off somehow. It's just not a normal club or theater night when there's cameras.

41:31The audience is stressed. Everyone's different. It's just not the way it normally is. I, the thing is like, I remembered that it's, um, I thought one, the second show felt better. So that, so when I, when I say I came to some epiphany, I didn't just the second show felt better, but were I to pretend I had an epiphany that night, I'd say no one else has done every show with me. So they're not comparing them. and this is the film of the material like um a special like a special is for the cameras and I I think it was um Whitney Cummings gave me that advice after she had done her sitcom Whitney and then she did her first special after that and I remember she said to me we play so big because we're trying to play it at the back of the room but um I think it'd been something she learned doing a you know three camera sitcom like it's for the camera and i've thought about that each time since that it's for the camera the size of the performance is for the camera um and also you i mean where we're the area where you could maybe have a good night or a bad night because the material is immaculate and it's really really it's like a magic trick it's so fun to watch your stand up oh because it's flowing so organically he's talking to me oh sorry sorry I said that to David before the show.

42:52But then you're also doing a lot of sneakily physical comedy and you're throwing your voice and you're moving. So you're performing it as well. So I would assume on some nights with a hot crowd, you may take a rhythm slightly further or the bit you did about Jagger, not funny, you'd throw one more in. Is that where there's a little bit of improv? When you're on and the crowd is with you, you go to that other level. Oh my God. when I have, when the crowd is with me, sometimes when the crowd's not with me, I'm like, do I even have skills? Like, can I even, can I even perform to a slightly indifferent audience?

43:31Like I should be able to do this. Like I should be able to still do the 90 minutes, but if they're not like, if you don't feel like they're, you know, carrying your chair and, uh, um, at the Jewish wedding, Like, you know, if you don't feel that like bounce, I'll suddenly be like, how the hell do I do this? What do I give it? Like, what am I doing? I'm giving a speech. Well, you think like you're horrible. You're like, am I doing standup? Because nothing's working. It's almost like, did this turn into a corporate gig? Why am I bombing so hard? Yeah, yeah, did this turn into a corporate gig? And then I always want to ask the audience.

44:04I want to be like, hey, are you embarrassed for me? Is that happening? Is that happening now too? Are you nervous for me? The comfort in the room and then the elephant in the room that no one is saying and you can't hear it is like this realization on their side. Not as good as I thought he would be. I guess this is kind of a rough night. And then sometimes it takes a lot of guts and a lot of determination to go fuck it. And you try to win them. And you normally can't. But you're just really the last 15 minutes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I think that is the right move. I remember when Nick Kroll and I were doing Oh, Hello on Broadway, our director Alex Timbers said to us, because doing eight shows a week for 16, 18 weeks, whatever it was.

44:52Brutal. Well, we'd have crowds that were just Broadway ticket holders who heard, oh, there's a comedy and didn't know it was me and Nick screaming in turtlenecks and being insane. and uh alex timbers said to us hey um i noticed that some nights when the crowds aren't great you guys decide to pull way back and just amuse each other and you do the show poorly and we were like yeah because fuck them right it's only three hundred dollars i remember i remember he goes here's an idea when they're not good you guys try to be twice as good and we were like yes Oh, as if it was like another way to show them we don't care.

45:34But it was a good trick he put in our heads. Because now when it's bad, I think, well, I'm going to pretend this is on film. Sure. And people will study it in terms of how good you can be even when a crowd is bad. I think people, you know, when you're not doing well and people later say, no, it was good. There's some people that smile and the vibe of the crowd isn't to be too noisy. so they don't want to be too loud so they're just kind of liking it and smiling and they don't know it's a bad show and later they go not at all they don't i thought it was great and you're like and you're telling them how bad it was and they're like no it wasn't that bad yeah and you go like that part that part normally gets that part normally goes to applause and normally normally yeah you're like that was my favorite part and i'm like a lot of times there's someone in the front row that looks like my dad.

46:27So I go, oh, there he is now. And that normally goes to applause, but that didn't happen tonight. And they're like, oh, so it was bad. What is it about, when I was coming up, like Steve Martin was God, he was huge. And he would play stadiums or arenas. And now there's so many comedians, and I'll bring it back around to you, that just are playing 20 ,000 seaters. And I don't know when this started for you, but now you're playing Madison Square Garden for four nights, if I read it right, or three nights? Three nights. three nights so what does that do to your brain how do you think about yourself like because that is so much love of your fans i mean it's just like insane right how do you wrap your mind around that one should not get used to it um i just keep thinking that like it's pretty it's pretty funny man it's pretty yeah it's just a big room it's a big room well it's it's i mean i just want to give you a compliment it's so hard to get to those big venues and i was looking you're on a tour right now and if you look at the venues i'm like holy shit this guy is hitting the biggest spots and hollywood bowl is huge who would ever get to play that as a stand-up you don't even think of that when you're a stand-up he's playing northern california there's a stadium in the sierra nevadas and it's an open air thing and john is playing yellowstone he's playing park but what What do you do with like when you go out?

47:52It feels it's like it's it's. It's a kind of I wouldn't say, OK. I wouldn't say it's imposter syndrome, which might sound really arrogant. I don't mean like I am up there and I'm like, yeah, I belong here. But I do recognize that the crowds have grown and grown. And now we're in a now we're in a basketball court. yeah and that's home base yeah yeah yeah so there's sort of a like okay this is where it's at now um and i'm so like there's a few things happening at once it's only been this year that i've played arenas it's the first tour i've had since a couple trips to rehab institutions so what what what do you mean rehab i haven't heard this story well listen no one knows about this well that that i want to ask you only about that how it pertains to your stand-up just because it pertains to like um i think if i um oh man thank god cocaine and arenas didn't overlap oh dear god i'm just realizing now that would have been a disaster there is something extremely fun there's an energy about playing an arena that's very like holy shit if ever a person took this for granted, they might become rather intolerable.

49:17That's what I think. And so I'm really lucky to do it. I know it won't, it will, it will just, it can't sustain. It won't be this forever. So at the moment, I'm just kind of like, enjoy it because this is literally, you know, like this won't, this won't last and that's okay. So I wouldn't say it's Impostor Syndrome so much as I'm acutely aware that this is just a moment in time.

50:06Well, did you think, John, right? Did you think I'm doing David now? So, you know, you have those specials that explode on Netflix, and then you do the five hosting, and then there's the pandemic, and then you have this rehab issue. Did you ever think that that would... I didn't have an issue with rehab. It was more drugs. Oh, okay. So that led to the rehab. Yeah, rehabs were quite healthy. it feels to me like there was a uh your fan base just saw you more human and it it there do you feel a bigger connection in a way maybe it's like a oprah question or something but with your fans after i'm really um yeah i because they're your friend you know i mean they relate and everybody's got i can't like i there's no i'll just be kind of sappy for a second i We love that here.

50:58It means like, I didn't know if I'd be on a stage again. Like I didn't know what, I was at a point where it wasn't just that like today was miserable. It was that I could absolutely guarantee you tomorrow was miserable. So to be doing shows and to, um you know look I it's uh I'm aware that uh someone's persona and you know I'm aware that it might have thrown I'm aware that it was a new information to people I've been I've been up front that I'd used drugs in the past but I understand it was new information to people I I'm I think I think I'm humble enough to know that like, you know, fans can, you know, I'm very grateful people come to the shows.

51:58Like, it's not that I think that that, you know, revelation about me would make people not come. I don't mean that. I just mean that I also like, I want to be a realist about entertainment and to maybe have one kind of image and then have it be made clear I was dealing with a lot more stuff and then have people still come. That sort of, I feel very lucky to physically be there on stage. And I feel it is so nice. I feel so lucky. John, if you don't mind talking about it, it was like, when you said you maybe didn't think you'd ever do it again, was that your, what kind of bottom was that? I mean, were you seriously thinking, I may never do stand-up anymore?

52:45It was like... You don't have to answer these questions. It was almost like being an... It was kind of like... That's a good question. Exactly how to articulate it. It was a bit like a horror movie where I was like, how did I... Like... I don't trust... This sounds a little dark, but it's not a super happy topic, so that's fine. I was sort of like, I don't trust being alone with me. I mean, I'm the person that did all this damage to myself. When you're a drug addict, you're with the person that has tried to destroy you all the time. so I just didn't have a sense of I was like uh wow I don't know if the person in charge of this life has any clue what they're doing it wasn't so much oh I can't do stand-up without drugs because I wasn't I didn't use and do stand-up that wasn't really what was happening um it was more like I might have absolutely no idea how to manage my life.

54:02Because it was the second episode was maybe harder in a way. Yeah, because I'd had a lot of problems when I was in my early 20s and I'd stopped by age 23 and had a long bout of sobriety. But yeah, through prescription drugs and other things started to slip and then slipped hard. And do you think that it's a genetic predisposition, like the way your brain is situated and the way the drugs hit your brain? Can you specify why it appealed to you at that level? Because it seems like addicts sometimes can be hypersensitive or redundant thinkers or whatever kind of mental health would predispose them.

54:45to want to? Yeah, it's a good question because like I I do love life. Like I have a lot of fun. I always I always have laughed very hard multiple times a week with like really funny friends and like I'm lucky to be in this life as a comedian where it's pretty fun. Yeah, I have my own I have my own demons, but it's pretty it's pretty fucking fun. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So I was also like, I had a very, I have wonderful parents. I had a lot of green lights. It's hard to say that I had some inclination to

55:34to mess up my life. A couple of things in my case, I think I've had a lot of anxiety in life. So some of the chemicals that help that I certainly are very addictive. And then I think I think I mean, I do think addiction is a disease and I think I have this, you know, oh, let's do more. Oh, let's do more. I mean, there's something in my brain that does that. It wasn't always, you know, it wasn't a story of someone who was always going to self-destruct. Life just became hard. And now you're out the other side and you have a son, you know, so it's such a complete shift. So then, yeah. Yeah. So then that's like, okay, that's real grownup stuff, right?

56:35When I heard you had - It's the greatest. It is, yeah. When you were in rehab, I was like, I don't think so. That guy wears a suit on stage. Yeah, people in, I mean, it's been proven people in ties don't have that. I mean, through me. And did we have dinner at Koi one night? Was it me, you, Dana, and Hayter? Was it, and Judd? Yep, and Judd. Yep. Yeah, that's like one of the few times we've gotten even - That was a fun night. We took a picture. Yeah, we did take a picture. You guys came and did my Largo show. Yeah, it was great.

57:08Dana, you and Bill read the cases. Yeah, the sketches. Oh, that's right. Yeah, a sketch that I wrote with Bill when Dana hosted. The same hosting stint when we bombarded you with Mickey Rooney requests. But I was regrettable at the time. The only thing about Mickey Rooney was the first time I had some prosthetics that created the illusion. And it helped me too, doing Mickey Rooney. And then that time, whatever quick change, for whatever reason, it kind of looked like me and it just didn't, you know. And then Casey Kasem bombed. Did you have little legs? The first time you did it? I did the first time.

57:53Yeah. For some reason, something, the look wasn't the same. And then Casey Kasem, it wasn't my best hosting effort. But I love to - I think I'm in large part to blame for that. He goes, the writing was bad that week. Now that I remember that you remember that the Mickey Rooney and Casey Kasem that we begged you to do were not at the moment. But I love the passion, how much you guys loved it. And Casey Kasem killed a 300 seat theater. Bill and I read it again in front of you. We explained it a little better. It's sketch 101. They just didn't hook it. It was over in the corner. And once the audience - Too big of a set too.

58:36Too big of a set. Giant set. They didn't hook the premise. I always want sketches like that to just look like a Garfield cartoon. Like a single square animation cell. And it was massive. And it was a massive backyard. The sketch was Casey Kasem and his son, J.C. Kasem. J.C. Are having a fight and they both talk like Casey Kasem. And, you know, it was like, son, I know you've been borrowing money to buy crystal meth. And how do you know that, dad? Here's a letter. Like it was that. It was just them both. There was a letter. Son, I know that you've been borrowing money to buy crystal meth. and here is a letter.

59:22It's that classic Casey Kasem for people who have ever heard of rhythm. And then, you know, checking in at number five, the boss. My favorite line was, well, Dad, you were always hounding me with questions. When are you going to stop hanging out with those deadbeats? When are you going to do something with your life? And which female vocalist had more number one hits than any other? Debbie Boone. And then Dana says, the answer, Mariah Carey. The answer, Mariah Carey. So why do you think for young people listening? Why would that bomb? Well, I thought it was because... Too big of a set. We've already explained.

59:53It wasn't the right thing. It wasn't the performance. I was washing my car, John. It was a quiet... They're kind of quiet voices. They don't really project that much. And I think if you're in the audience and a camera's going by or they're leading a horse across the studio, they don't hook it the first... Leading a horse across the studio. You know, just noise. Distractions, yeah. And it was cold opening in the center with a simple slat. You weren't at home base where you had one of those secret sets. Danny used to go never be in the fucking dead zone over there. I would go where they were writing up the planning, where the sketches would be.

1:00:25You'd go tell him. Why is my sketch not there? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. I remember watching, I think it was a Wayne's world. I was talking to Steve Higgins and I was like, why is this? I mean, besides the fact that it was so popular, I was like, what is the, why does this feel like they're just yelling directly at an adoring audience? And he was like, cause those were at home base. Like every, everything everything that seems like why is this like right in the lens right down the barrel right to the audience so then all of us would go up to don roy king during the production meeting wednesday night all the writers would go like we think this could play at home base so i think it could play i remember one time he had because they write in they basically they pencil in everything that will go in one section a schematic and there were like six sketches that were trying to play at home base well they would say to me well you can't have it at home base because you have an entrance and i go what if i get rid of the entrance and they go well then you could have it at home base oh wow what a scam then i would go to victoria jackson and go you gotta just be in the set the whole time i was gonna i don't know how much longer we have but i was gonna just ask you your latest thoughts about your son and how old is he because i don't follow okay um my son malcolm is six months old okay so you're you and um your significant olivia are racing for that first mile in the morning when he's in his crib and he's racing for that first what'd you say smile the first smile he's smiling now right oh the first smile i thought you said the first mile i'm a little bit drunk no but anyway no we that's very funny you mentioned that we both love to wake him up together and he he'll be kind of like what i love about malcolm one he's my son so that's what i love that's good it's good you love it as good as your son but but also um he's so independent like i listened to him on the on the miku on the baby monitor and he's just babbling to himself like as he's trying to fall asleep he's just talking like he kind of sounds like jiminy glick like he's like or adam sandler yeah a little bit like adam sandler yeah there's a lot of low register like

1:02:42he's doing characters he's doing character work and also i think he enjoys the reverberation of his voice in this uh when he was sleeping in this pack and play the other night and i was like you really just pack and play you love your you love the sound um that it's making in your little crib there so we'd love to come in and he's just i don't know he's so independent he's just chatting with his like stuffed elephant in the crib with him well that moment where they wake up and they're sleeping then we then we then so right now when they were traveling yeah and he sees you back in place so we unzip top of it this cover and he he's sitting on the hand goes like flashes the biggest face goes and that yeah back and play is like a duffel bag you carry him in or something well it does kind of fold up into what looks like those bags they carry machine guns in yeah it's like it's a long black bag that becomes a crib because at the beginning it's just a shoe box you have to carry them in and then as they get older i don't know how it works yeah when a baby's born they tell you to put it in a shoe box with dreaded newspapers and you got to keep them stimulated there's a lot of focus on kids it even started when i was oh more now my god you must be You'll go wild and keep it mentally stimulated.

1:03:57You'll make a genius. You'll feed them this way. Yeah, goddamn. Everyone's got an opinion. Yeah, he likes songs that the Wrecking Crew worked on, the famous studio musicians. He kind of likes, like, there's something about that. Yeah, the Righteous Brothers and those Phil Spector wall of sound. I think there's something sonically to a baby. You know, like I've always said, babies love Phil Spector. Well, the baby when he's three, if he picks up a rock, people will go, he's going to be an archaeologist. I mean, everyone's going to want to project. I think he's funny like you. You know, I've seen it.

1:04:35Anyway. There's nothing like Instagram. When they say on Instagram, there's always someone in trouble for doing something wrong with their kids. And then everyone writes in a million comments. You should not do that. It's like, why do you give a fuck about my kid? Like, are you going to come babysit? I've always wanted to put as a caption, if anyone has any parenting thoughts, please, please leave them in the comments. Yeah, please. I'm about to give my six month old a bunch of pork sausage and dairy. If anyone has any thoughts. What's a good toaster I should put in the tub with him? Yeah. But, John, I would say we have to let you go.

1:05:16But first of all, great chatting. I saw you at Largo. I saw Olivia the other night. It was a lot of fun to see you. You were hilarious. It was great to see you. David, we were talking for a while that just you backstage talking about trying to sell your house was the funniest five minutes I heard in so long. You know, it's funny. My special just came out. You guys are talking about specials. Yeah, it came out on thedirt.com, right? On the real estate website? That's where my special came out, which is so stupid. It was released on dirt.com. But yeah, everyone knows about your house. What's the name of the special, David?

1:05:53Let's do some housekeeping. Oh, it's called Nothing Personal. Nothing Personal. I wanted to say to John that, and Dana, you might feel this, when you get to bigger, I don't tour as much. Actually, this first time I was sort of doing some theaters and they're not as big as yours. But even if it's two, three thousand seats, I sometimes feel like I'm not enough. It's almost like more pressure to go. I can picture a band here like wailing away to fill this big energy so much more energy than a club and people are paying more and it's a big deal there's a line outside and you go I'm just here talking a little bit it feels like it's not enough for them and I had a weird thing about that where I go I want to be extra good or do a little something more razzle dazzle I don't know yeah I I mean, that's why I really like, I mean, I remember hearing, I remember hearing an interview with Chris Rock when Bring the Pain came out about how, why he paces so much.

1:06:50It's like, I got to fill the stage. And I've never forgotten that. I mean, I like, I like a lot of mic cord and a lot of walking. Yeah. Yeah. And I never saw, I always think that I'm like, this is just me. this is like a random person talking about right very specific topics what is this and everyone just quietly listening yeah yeah maybe i'll just yeah i i mind with they they i got off stage talking about having a tough set like my first taping you know most comics for you listeners pick a place and they do two shows in one night mostly yeah adam adam got to a little more but uh you know you do that then you pick the best out of the two whatever and i got off stage my opener wasn't doing as well as he usually does and i'm like oh please don't be a fucking tough crowd you know and then they might i get on it and they were tough for the first five and i'm like these people are coming to see me and they're my fans and this is tough and i get off and i go shit well the second one will be a little better and they go you know they have n95s on i go no they don't and no one told me they had those masks on you went out and didn't know they were all all in the n95s i didn't even think because we moved it there because it was during covid and they go you do get a crowd they might have to wear masks but i think of the blue ones but i heard they walked in everyone had to take theirs off and they were given the worst kind of like drywall mask what state was this in it was in min it was minnesota and i have to say they were a good crowd it's just when 50 of it's gone and you can't hear it as because they're they even look like a good crowd they're moving they're bending overlapping and i'm like and you know i just see the front rows but i go oh what's going on because it's so bright when i taped i couldn't really see what i can yeah yeah you can't wait six weeks to do it when they didn't have to have the mask well it wasn't to bore the shit out of you it was in austin and because netflix there's some rules you have to for covid blah blah and austin said no we won't abide by it so i'd either wait six months or the next weekend i was doing well you guys go out now they're not wearing masks or they're not right no there's still a there's still a couple but i think it's i think it's dealer's choice i think you yeah because i see people with them but those are for a while there was show your vax card or if you don't have it, you get, sorry, if you showed your backscar, you got a wristband.

1:09:19If you didn't have a wristband, you had to have the mask on. There's been, but crowds have been really understanding about it, which is nice. At least they're still coming, which is nice. And that's always fun. Whenever there's a surge too, whenever there's a surge on tour, it's sort of like, okay, you know, some stuff might get canceled and like whatever is best for the health and safety of the crowd is the best choice. but I'll sometimes look at the map and my calendar and be like, well, I got luckily, luckily like my Florida and Arizona won't be canceled. You look at a few states where you're like, they're never going to cancel.

1:09:52They're never going to cancel. Well, they say some people for a while there during, uh, when there's a last surge, they go, just expect about 20 to 30 % don't show. They buy the tickets, it's sold out, but they don't come and you go, oh, cause they get scared. So it's sort of a bummer because you want the people, whoever gets ticket to come sometimes it's tricky you know i found that um like people in los angeles have been more careful than anyone else i i know like i i was in new york for a lot of the early pandemic people were obviously extremely sheltering in place then however there still was a bit more of a a sometimes a bit of a cavalier attitude like look we we're gonna go out we're gonna try to do this la seemed more locked down for longer but yeah then this netflix is a joke festival came and like everyone i knew who used to lecture about like spray down your groceries with you know like all those people are suddenly like at a huge brunch with kevin hart you know everyone everyone went out everyone went out yeah

1:11:04Well, John, thank you. And, you know, I always thought you'd make a good day. And wouldn't he make a good talk show host? Great monologue. If he ever wants to do that, he's got a good gig going. I mean, as Malcolm gets older, you'll be financially so secure. You'll be able to pick your dates and pick how you want to work. You know, go now. He won't miss you now, but you're going to want to be around when he's, you know, seven and eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. Those are the, those. my friend dan levy and i um a wonderful comedian and a good friend of mine dan levy and i talk often dana about how uh you know how you specifically uh we were like that might be the best life ever to um name a corporate rate that is so high but have so many people meet it and you can edit this out if you're uncomfortable sorry no no no when you just kept doing i was like man, what an amazing, we talked so greedily about like, man, describe all those corporates.

1:12:09I wanted to get out of them. They kept saying, yes, I kept going up and up and up and hoping I'd get out of them, but it was very, it's the greatest problem I've ever heard anyone having. And we're so envious of it. Well, it's a nice adaptive way when the kids are in the field. You were off SNL. You were living in Northern California and you were naming the highest rates possible. Yes, it was it was it was very, very good. I was I was hiding in plain sight, making more money than maybe almost anyone. But like big movie stars, but no one knew. So they just figured I was broke. So that was good.

1:12:47But it's it's a pretty good schedule for a dad because you could take two months of Christmas, take summers off and have your just adapt your schedule to when you want to be with them so anyway it is great are you guys on the are you guys going out on are you guys on the road now too david is i'm on the road i'm doing a scripted podcast finishing up which is hard it's like making the white album it really has taken a year to do it with my two sons oh right right yeah i've heard on this i've heard on this podcast yeah so i'm working on that but i'm kind of itching to do stand-up again i don't know what i would say or what i would do though at this age you know because it's like you don't want to be boring that's that's the worst sin of a stand-up i think boring you don't want to be canceled but you don't want to be you don't want to be canceled you want to be honest you want to be real you want to be funny but for me doing small clubs with my sons i i figured out for me personally being a sketch player at heart i was so much better in small rooms i mean because i'm doing these little intricate little characters and stuff so i love small rooms but big rooms play different you know if they have screens it's very nice i'm sure madison square garden you're gonna have big screens yeah yeah yeah there's there's sort of these like portrait length screens they really do i was very when this tour started i was like okay this is gonna be cool but is this gonna just be like yelling in a hockey arena and everyone's like what but i gotta see the faces and stuff yeah the production the production and my tour manager, Beth, um, like it's been, it's been made into a really good show.

1:14:22I think. Yeah. He's like, I have Kid Rock's trucker guy that runs the 18 wheeler with my favorite thing about touring arenas is that is like talking to bus drivers. Uh, they just had here. Yeah. Who were you just with like, well, Robert plant, Robert plant, Steve Harvey, then you. And I'm like, I love it. I love that. Have you ever gotten right before you went on dinged like that from some well-meaning crew guy last week, Sinbad came in here. I got to tell you, he took every local reference. He destroyed now Dana Florfo. I mean, do you ever get dinged like that where it's like Chris Rock levitated this arena?

1:15:01I don't think, I don't think he was trying to ding me, but I still remember unintentional. No, no, no, but I know a Brian Dorfman, a booker, um, uh, a promoter, excuse me, Brian, I apologize. you're a producer and a promoter and whatever other things you do but i was in i was backstage at nashville zanies and uh we're standing there and i'm really about to walk out and he just goes i remember promoting paulie shore and when the door opened and the shadow of his profile hit the stage i've never heard a crowd go crazier for it's like as i'm about to walk out as you're I've never heard a crowd go crazier for someone.

1:15:45And it was the greatest standup show I'd ever seen. I know. They go on and on. It was? No one has ever done anything like this. But you'll be fine. Then he pauses and goes, hey, got any new stuff? I remember someone else at Zany's Nashville. I was like, at that same weekend, I was like, who are your favorite comics? and this woman Ruthann who was managing the club. I go, who are your favorite comics? And like a lot of people, this was like 2004, people would go like, oh, Attell Hedberg. People just list the same names. And she goes, okay. Oh, here we go. And I was like, uh-huh. And I can't remember exactly the three, but the first was Tony Rock.

1:16:39She goes, Tony Rock. I go, okay. She goes, funnier than Chris. I go, okay. Okay. Okay. Uh-huh. She goes, funnier than Chris. Chick McGee, I think maybe. The last one was Killer Bees, who's a - Killer Bees. Killer Bees is a road, is an American comedian, not known to everyone, but she goes, Killer Bees is the best comic of everything in my life. Funnier than Chris. You know you need new material. You know you need new material when someone says to you, no matter how many times I hear your stuff, I still laugh. You know you need a new actor. Yeah, yeah. The sound guys, the lighting technicians, everyone I'm on this tour with is amazing.

1:17:25And they are very sweet about it. But they're like, as we're setting up, we just recite your jokes. And I was like, man, that's such a compliment. but it makes me feel like, so you're saying I don't have enough new stuff. All right, John, get out of here. I like that. I like that you guys are acting like I have somewhere to be, but I don't. I know. I keep making the interview longer. I know, but it is fun because people like to hear from you. Oh, one little SNL memory I have of just how big and inescapable the show felt was I was hired August 7th, 2008. And then we have the commercial writing weeks.

1:18:09We start pre-production for the show. Not pre-production. We start, everyone's kind of back and we're going to shoot commercial parodies. Then we have the first show week and the first show that I was ever a part of, Michael Phelps hosted and it was the first time Tina Fey did Sarah Palin. So that fall, SNL is like... back kind of like to being when you guys were on. Like it felt like the 92 election again. It was like huge. And it was on every magazine cover and Seth and Amy are on every magazine cover and Tina's on every magazine cover. It was so big. And we did these Thursday primetime update shows.

1:18:56So we did 12, total we did 12 shows in eight weeks. And I just remember I was sitting in a taxi cab going home and my eye was all infected for me from being awake so long and uh a bus pulls up next to me and it's a gap ad with forte sudeikis andy seth and fred yeah like they did like a winter clothes like scarves and hats but i just remember being like i can't fucking escape this show and still haven't. You never, it's a seminal moment in your life being in Rockefeller Center doing that thing with all the characters. Well, yeah, it's like saying, I, Hey, I used to play for the Yankees. Um, now I have a sports marketing company, which would you rather talk about?

1:19:47Yeah, that's true. There's nothing experientially or tactically like that show. People always have a question about it. Something about it. That's why we do on the podcast. And to hang out with people like you. I love the podcast. I've listened to every episode. I was very flattered to be asked to be out. God damn. You must have a lot of free time, or that's when you're on the bus or the plane. A lot of driving, and a lot of driving, a lot of bus. Yeah. He's used to that we talk over each other, Dana. John, yeah. Well, yeah. SmartList has three guys. Did you like doing the live one with Sandler?

1:20:20Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was. We should have filmed it. It's fucking great. It was so fun. yeah different sport but uh different sport but it's it i'm whenever there's a live episode of a podcast i love i'm like this is like no one's uh everyone's bringing out the big guns on this oh yeah well yeah you just you tend to perform a little more but yeah i just i i if i put myself in the shoes of the i'm there with adam sandler and david spade so there's a sense of like i'd like to just hear what Adam Sandler had for breakfast. You know, they want to know you as a person. The one thing we haven't done with you, we don't have to, because I always like to put, think of 10 year old John Mulaney, because I like that.

1:21:05Favorite toy as a kid, or a toy that you remember that you really was important to you or you liked? Oh, that's a good question. Cocaine? Yeah, little bags of cocaine and rolled up dollar bills. David had Stretch Armstrong, didn't you? And Evil, can you? Stretch Armstrong was a fucking scam. I liked anything. I liked anything with Ernie. I kind of, with Ernie from Bert and Ernie, I sort of realized later in life that Ernie was like, I thought Ernie was so funny. Ernie is really funny. He doesn't give a fuck and his roommate's uptight. Yeah. Which one's gay, Bert or, oh, I think Bert is. The rumor was that they were both gay.

1:21:50Oh, yeah. I guess that's how it would work. Okay. Did you have a bike that was special to you? Like in fourth, fifth, sixth grade? I had a bike, which growing up in Chicago, like it's an easy city to bike around. That was like, we already had a lot of freedom. Like we were a little feral. I just walked around the city of Chicago as like 10, nine year old. Like we really could just go. I remember having a bike and riding it along the lake from my home to like the middle of downtown Chicago. And I was like, this is so much freedom. It's crazy. It won't be like that with your kid, huh? No, I mean, that's an interesting thing because Olivia and I talk about that.

1:22:36We want it to be, but then we obviously I'm like, do I have the stomach for just being like, all right, see ya. do you have the instagram followers can you handle what they're going to say about that yeah hey leaving malcolm alone on michigan avenue yeah he'll be home by when it gets dark like i did yeah is this a good idea question mark arrow to comments and you and i haven't talked about below sound off let me know do you have ideas of where you would like to settle with the time school years start or is it just completely wide open you don't have to mention a town or anything but do you think it's either Southern California, New York, or out there somewhere?

1:23:15Yeah, we're very open to different places. I mean, I feel like also me and Olivia and Malcolm have been on the road so much that we kind of, we're in this place of like home is wherever we're together. Yeah, they're just so portable now. And you had told me once that you thought flying too much might age people. So do you take more buses and cars than normal people? I said that. I thought you said that to me. You're always saying that, always. That you thought maybe flying too much was like hard. Sounds a little speedy, cokey talk. Oh, that was. You got some go-go juice? That's why we were jamming.

1:23:55We were jamming on the Mickey Rooney sketch when you said that. So I didn't know you were. No, I'm kidding. No, no, no. But I thought you said that. But you drive more than most. No, there's something. Like, you know how you feel when you get off a plane and your feet are all swollen and like your stomach's weird. I was like, this is not, you shouldn't do this constantly. Like bring a, you know, you bring like a half empty 20 ounce bottle of soda on a plane and put it in your backpack and then see what the pressure's done to it. Yeah. It's not normal what it does to your body. I get done with flying.

1:24:30I'm at that phase of celebrity now where I weigh in on health theories. So I'm going to go out ahead and say that planes. No one should be flying. John Mulaney. This week, we got our treasure. This week, drug addict John Mulaney said no one should be flying. Flying is dangerous. And not because you're going to crash, but your body is going to be. Neil Brennan said, when I first got back to doing standup, he said, you should be introduced. Neil Brennan said this. He goes, you should be introduced as, you know him from TMZ. Please welcome drug addict John Mulaney. Drug addict is funny. let's end on that one that's funny all right guys all right john hope we run into it miss you john pleasure love you see you somewhere bye guys on campus

1:25:18hey guys if you're loving this podcast which you are be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app give us a review five-star rating and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend if you're watching this episode on youtube please subscribe we're on video now fly on the wall is presented by odyssey an executive produced by danie carvey and david spade heather santoro and greg holtzman maddie sprung kaiser and leah reese dennis of odyssey our senior producer is greg holtzman and the show is produced and edited by phil sweet tech booking by cultivated Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

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1:26:23Thank you.