RE-RELEASE - Larry David

22:24Dana Carvey:Did you ever do a prostate exam joke? No. Yeah. I didn't think you would. I thought you were talking to me. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I for sure did. The cheesiest one that always gets, I don't do, I've never done one, I've never written one, but the one that made me laugh the most was Look Ma No Hands.

22:42Dana Carvey:Yeah. I mean, that's a stock joke, it wasn't mine. No, the joke that you try to bury into real life is when I was playing The Mirage, I go, David Copperfield was in the steam room. I milked out so long and they go, he was in the steam room? And I go, yeah, and he's sitting next to me. but his towel slid off he was just sitting there weird and he goes hey he goes uh i go can you do magic now that you have nothing here and he goes yeah and i go it's not real and he goes all right quickly he goes uh get up he gets behind me and he goes all right do you feel my thumb in your ass And I go, yeah. And he goes, ta-da.

23:20Reaches around me. So it was sort of magic. That's funny.

23:28Dana Carvey:Did you ever do a Hitler joke? You do a lot of Hitler jokes. I'm not talking about the editorial, but just because everyone has a Hitler joke. What's your best Hitler joke? I did. I used to do one in stand up. It had to do with about Hitler going to a magic show. that's already it's already funny anything hitler does and he goes backstage after and he's very insistent on on finding out where the rabbit is and you know magicians have magicians have a code they they don't they can't tell how the tricks are done right and it was going where's the rabbit i'm very curious where's the rabbit and he goes well mein fuhrer you know We're not really allowed to.

24:13It's a code amongst me. Yes, yes, yes. But where is the hobbit? It was something like that. I forgot the rest of it. Where was it?

24:24Dana Carvey:Did you do that in the 99 special? I did. Yes, I remembered it. Do you have a Hitler joke? You know. Write one. I don't think I have one because, oh, you know, I did have a book when I did my first book. Oh, a couple people remember? Thank you. is it was I used a picture of me when I was five years old my mom had me a little blue suit with white hair down to here and it was a weird shot down on me in front of my old apartments and I'm just standing so stiffly that I said what if we called the book Mr. Hitler we'll see you now because I was like a five-year-old kid looked like a little uh Aryan and um it got universally no so and I'm kind of glad because I sort of skim over stuff I'm from Arizona we were never into religion we were never into many things that could be very offensive and so we joked about everything racism all this so sometimes I would stumble in my act and say things too far and someone would pull me aside and say I wouldn't say that anymore and I wouldn't know how deep these things went or hit and I'd be like okay so it took me a while even on that one it was a little late in the game but to even say I should do that but Hitler gets thrown around and it just, it offends too many people.

25:36I'm not Jew. I did a Hitler bit.

25:38Dana Carvey:I was doing a benefit for Cedars-Hinai cardiology department. And I did a Hitler bit. A guy had actually put a stent in my chest, go, do you know where you are? You know? And I, do you want to hear it? Yeah, go. It's not a bit. It's an observation. Cause I thought I don't have any original observation about Hitler. And then I thought of one and I want you to tell me you've never heard it before, hopefully, or you've heard it before. All we do is see Hitler throughout history screaming, I'm the only son of a wolf! We never see him talking normal. We do this for a living. He must be exhausted backstage, just wiped out, almost effeminate.

26:15Dana Carvey:Oh, Himmler. I can't feel my deltoid. Whoever said to do this, shoot him. He gets off stage and goes to the heads of the green room and he's like, they were good. They were pretty good. But just exhausted Hitler Langeres. That's great. Don't fat shame yourself. I have a cookie. I eat it. I put the plate down. You have a good cookie. Your brain throws a party. You have a hundred cookies. So he breaks down, you know, addiction to carbohydrates. That's funny. Okay. What's on his rider? All right. I look at my notes. There's literally no notes to ask anything. It's two. Go ahead, Dana. Whatever you got.

26:51Dana Carvey:Well, I know this will make you happy. Jalen Bronson. Bronson. Yeah. New York Knicks. Yes, yes. Right in the throes of it. Stephen A. Smith and LeBron. Who would win if they went? Because we think we know, but Stephen A. Smith isn't tiny. I mean, I would get snapped in half by LeBron. Stephen A. Smith would get snapped in half. LeBron is a beast, man. It's unbelievable. What is he doing? I don't know. He's 40 years old. It's just incredible what he's doing. Yeah. If I had that money, I think, and he's already like such a perfect specimen athlete. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what I would obviously pour it back into trying to stay alive until I'm 100.

27:33I look at Brad Pitt and I go, I don't know what's going on, but if something, no one's going to get to regular Brad Pitt. He looks even better now. I'm like, fuck that. That's like cheating. Because he could have been fine skating along. And if he did, I don't say he did because mostly just jealousy and anger. But if he did something, I'm flying to that guy and just saying, do whatever you got to do. because someone told me on my comments, it looks like I slept on my face. And those sting, Larry. You're supposed to let them go. Well, you look kind of the same.

28:05Dana Carvey:Yeah, you look like 45 years. Because when did your hair, but when did it go white? How old? It probably started in my, probably in my late 30s. Wow. That was a joke. No, but Steve Martin, the same thing. He looks kind of the same. Steve Martin was like 12. I'm working on this baby face with bangs. I'm gonna be 70 a month. Keep the hair messy. Really? You're gonna be 70 in a month? Yes. Thank you, Larry. Wow. For being surprised. He didn't even comment you at all. Isn't that a great compliment when people are surprised when you tell them your age? Yes, it is. But when you tell them eventually you say I'm gonna be 70 a month, they go, oh.

28:48Dana Carvey:And you're like, really? Just an O? Yeah. can I get a really Andy Sandberg said you're gonna be 70 I go thank you yeah that's a great compliment okay I have something you may not have heard before tell me if you have Carol Leifer was on our show okay and she talked about you and Jerry the dynamic and she said you're John Lennon and Jerry is Paul McCartney have you heard that before you probably have heard it I've heard it it's quite ridiculous but I've heard it yeah But then it makes you unpack it a little bit in your brain. Like, well, wait a minute, my Strawberry Fields and he's Penny Lane. Yeah, I would rather be out of those two.

29:27Dana Carvey:Both geniuses. Yeah. Not bad. Yeah, I think I have a feeling our dynamic was maybe not fraught with the friction that theirs was. So we didn't really have that idea. Well, I asked Paul McCartney about it. And he said, well, the difference was, You know, they were doing comedy and we were doing strumming and singing. So it's a different thing. The analogy doesn't quite fit. Larry David looks the same for the last 40 years. I go, I totally agree, Paul. Were you on CBS Radford a lot? Yeah. That's right. I think we were there at the same time, honestly. I think Just Shoot Me, Will and Grace. We were there up until 98.

30:13What was the call sheet? What was the order of the cast? I have no idea. Larry. Never looked at it. Tell me. You mean the Seinfeld call sheet? Jerry. Honest to God. One. I never looked at it once. What do you think it was, Dana? I assume it'd have to be Jerry. And then we keep going. I mean, it's a good question. What's those four in a row? I never looked at it. Julie Louise Stryfus, number two. She was probably a bigger name, right? Well, Julie wasn't in the pilot. Jason was in the pilot. Oh, he might've inched ahead and leaned at the tape and got to number two.

30:49Dana Carvey:I was not an early adopter. I was being wined and dined by NBC to do the Letterman slot, Warren Littlefield, and having lunch with him. You mean a talk show host? Yeah. You were going to be a host on television. Yeah, I know. It seems amazing. He'd be great. It wouldn't work at all. This is my first. No, he'd be great. well maybe maybe if you had david as as the co-host might have worked we would he won the andy richter no but uh but basically they said you know we have this this new show i think only four had been made or something it's called seinfeld we think it might be it's going to be really big and they told me about it and who was in it and i just thought to myself oh boy that's not gonna happen that doesn't sound like a winner yeah i agree with that well whatever i'm involved in i never thought would work so no i thought it would be gone very quickly i i had i was just doing it for the pilot i would do a pilot get paid for the pilot right and then that was that would be it yeah the chance of pilots going are so slim especially and you're coming off snl then was that snl to that so that was 84 85 how'd that go oh swimmingly well you made up for it it just shows that you just don't know you need the right situation or whatever because for you not to do great on that show and then you go off and do well some people do that they have trouble there and they go off and do great um i didn't really it didn't really bother me that much i got one sketch on for the not great for the season yeah i got one sketch on it's like it reminded me a bit of a stand-up in a way when i would i'd be waiting to go on and then i don't know somebody famous would come in and yeah i'd get bumped and bumped again and and i was actually glad i got bumped because i didn't want to go on anyway i was happy i was happy not to go on and so i don't know writers made such a big deal about if their sketch was going to be on.

33:04I didn't really care that much. Yeah. It didn't really bother me. Well, when I was there writing, all I cared about was getting picked up again for the next year because there's just no money. So I just don't want to look like an asshole. And they'd call Gervitz and Brad Gray and go, Lauren would go, I don't know. We may bring them back. So I'd have to get rid of my apartment. And every year I did that. And then I dragged, there wasn't DoorDash, ladies. It was drag your mattress down the stairs and then you got to re-put your part. My apartment was literally a bed, a desk, anything I could just literally carry.

33:38And then two months later, we'll bring them back. And then I'm like, so I got to go move back, find an apartment. It's so dumb, but they like to keep you on the edge of your seat there. So you didn't have Lorne.

33:48Dana Carvey:Lorne was not there. Oh, you didn't have Lorne. No, you didn't have Lorne. Oh, I was just doing an impression. It was a 10 out of 10. Unfortunately, you didn't know. No, he's hosted twice. I knew you were doing Lorne. Yeah. It was a very subtle, you know. No, Dick Ebersole. It was too real. It's kind of a sporting event, someone said about SNL. It's rock and roll. It's loud. I mean, there are subtle. Jack Handy used to do his deep thoughts and there are subtle sketches. It's funny. But I think I heard that you and Jerry just said for sure at this point, we're just going to do the show for ourselves.

34:19Dana Carvey:We're not going to try to project what the network or even the audience will like. That's what I felt that Seinfeld, you know. Yeah, that's what we did. Yeah. So. Yeah. I remember we went out to dinner very early on and I said, I can't believe, how are they letting us do this? I was shocked. Were the audiences biting on it though? It was in front of an audience. Yeah. They were biting. So you thought, well, something's working here. Seemed like it. Because when we were doing ours, I like to keep comparing like they're the exact same. When we were doing ours or any sitcom, they would do it and then it would get a medium laugh and then we liked it all week the people that we thought were funny to each other and then they go listen the uh you know the youth prisoners that they bust in for the show uh aren't biting on this one so let's dumb it down a little bit and then i go well let's not wind up with the one that these guys like because we believed in these jokes and then they're scrambling and trying stuff i'm like then i don't even know what winds up on the show but you go you can't do that like it's better to have something where you just pick it and say this is our style this is our vibe like well it was it was new and we've gone through cheers mary tyler moore mash all these brilliant sitcoms half hour shows and all of a sudden there's a show with a puffy jacket or a soup nazi it just was instantly a different sensibility yeah when i saw it and uh i saw at least 13 of them i don't know how many i've scene but um we we didn't even we didn't even know how to write a sitcom we we'd never done it before you didn't have that's good you didn't know how to do a bad one and there was no um there was no writer's room oh really yeah we didn't have a writer's room who wrote well we knew some s &l people that wrote on there but was it i heard the idea was people would walk into a cold like freezer room and then it was you sitting there in a chair in the dark and they would pitch i was always very nice if you didn't like it you would hear shame and they'd walk out but they said it was they make it more than it is they probably because they go we'd have to wait and then we go in and pitch and then larry would just shake us and they you're you have a big laugh and so they loved it if they could oh if you could make larry laugh in the pitch i i i was always very Very nice to everyone who came in.

36:50I could imagine. You're a good crowd right now. You're just, you're very open. When I see you out in the world, I don't see that much, but you always seem very loose and friendly, and there's no people. I think people think of this curmudgeon thing that's like a little, because it's from the show. Well, that's the character. No, that's me. This is the act.

37:12Do more people talk to you? What do they talk to you about in order? Is it Seinfeld or is it Curb, or is it something else? Now? Yeah. Well, now it's Curb. It's just Curb all the time. It's Curb, Curb, Curb Seinfeld. Curb, Curb Seinfeld.

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38:30Dana Carvey:Was Jerry ever like Jerry being sort of a stoic? You know, he doesn't like people being neurotic and creating problems because I've gotten to know him a little bit. I did comedians in cars and stuff. And so then I realized when he is abrupt about that, he's really slightly annoyed that someone would create a problem, you know, out of nothing. So he would just, I'd say, I don't know about my act. I don't, how do you write new jokes? Just write them. You know, it was like, you know, and at first I was like, is this guy aggressive? No, this is the way. He doesn't like neurotic comedians going, I don't want to play that club.

39:07Dana Carvey:Don't play it. I mean, does he like that with you? I mean, once I understood where he was coming from, we had him in here and it was, I totally got it. He does not like problems that don't need to exist. And he just, no. Yeah, I like this stance when I said, he doesn't do that many specials. And I said, all the comics now, they do a special for an hour and then they have to throw away the material. And he goes, why do they have to throw it away? I go, I don't want to throw it. I go, I have stuff that takes so long to sharpen it and get it to fucking work. And when I go on the road, they want to see a show that works.

39:45I don't want to start from scratch. And he goes, listen. He talks to me like I'm a child. He goes, listen, don't throw it away. He goes, do the jokes that work. He goes, people think they have too many jokes that work. He said, when you boil it down, every great comic probably has an hour 15 in their whole career. That's just killers. And I think Leno's like that too. They just boil down to like, get what works and do it. and if some of them are great jokes it's like songs i like that i like when someone does something i like especially comic i go this is my favorite one i'm glad they're doing it i don't want to see because specials get watered down over time and i'm like ah another one what the

40:21Dana Carvey:what do you got left in the tank there's two jokes of jerry that still stick with me that are one was the moose gets lifted out of alaska and it's up in the sky and it wakes up and what what does the moose think i guess i can fly now i just thought that was a great one and then the eulogy one you know the eulogy what's that one the normal inferior human beings are is public speaking so at any funeral the person giving the eulogy would rather be in the casket it's a great joke that's good yeah so you had a great partner and he had a great partner we had a great time yeah but you'll be remembered for curb my point is this no i don't curb's doing an Do an impression.

41:02Dana Carvey:Do an impression. You did Bernie Sanders. Yeah. Okay. What's your memory? I just did Biden. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. So there was a debate in 2000. The election was 2016.

41:21And Bernie was running.

41:23Dana Carvey:Hillary was running. Yeah. So there was a debate. And then I think it was probably. I think the debate was 2015. Yeah. And I never. And so when Bernie Sanders started to talk. everything he was saying, I would repeat. I don't know if you ever do that. Sometimes. All of a sudden, because he sounded so familiar to me because we're both from Brooklyn, that I was able, in a way, to just tap into the way he talked. Yeah. And he would say something and I would repeat it. And then my agent called me when the debate was over just to talk about it. Harry Emanuel, he said, did you see that? I said, And I said, of course I saw it.

42:12What do you think? And he goes, okay, I'm calling Lorne Michaels. Perfect. Five minutes later, Lorne is on the phone with Ari. And that was on a Tuesday. And on Saturday, I'm doing the show. Oh, fun.

42:30Dana Carvey:So you had the 84 experience. Then all of a sudden, 2015, you come on, you do Bernie. And it is a smash. I mean, it's like, oh my God, of course, Larry David. And you killed. It must have been fun. It was fun. Because everything you said, you got a laugh. Yeah, it was fun. Did you go to the 50th? You went to the 40th. You did a lot in the 40th, I thought. Yeah, I went to the 40th and I was in the audience and I did some bit in the audience. And the 50th, I went, but I didn't do anything. But I got sick at both of them. Okay, good. Even the COVID in 2015? In 2015, I got sick at the 40th. Yeah. And I was doing a play at the time.

43:12Dana Carvey:Mm-hmm. And I had to do the play with like 102 temperature, you know? Ouch. Because you got to go on. It's so gross to be like, I got to go on. It's horrible. You feel bad. And then I got sick again at the 50th. Got the flu, I think. You know, something must be there. When I hosted last time, I got sick during dress, the worst fucking anxiety riddle time. In the middle of a sketch, they go, come on, come on. and I stood up I was in like a UPS outfit and I go and then I sat back down on the set and they go come on the band's like you got 90 seconds and I go I don't feel good and then I laid down on the floor and everyone's like what the fuck is going on so they walk me to the dressing room put me in the bathroom I lay on the floor and the audience is still there so it was the last sketch they just rapped and they let him out and then they're pounding on the door going and I hear him going if he doesn't come out we're gonna have to put a rerun on we gotta tell NBC and I'm laying on the floor sweating I don't know if I was food poisoning then I started barfing and then I just sat there in my little UPS uniform going there could be more stress already you're sick and everyone including Lauren is behind the door going are we doing this?

44:25it's fine if we're not we just have to and so I finally get the door and I go I mean I can try and then they go alright let's pull the rerun let's just try it and wow I started to feel a little better and I got some food in me and I was like, I don't know what happened. I got the whammy and then I did a good solid 70 % I gave. And the guy in the UPS sketch, the writer, I could see him in the back going, yeah, you're a real fucking hero. Because obviously that sketch got cut because I don't think I even finished it. You know what I mean? The thing about it, when I was doing it and I was sick and I remember thinking during the middle of it, I don't feel sick.

45:06I don't something yeah your adrenaline

45:08Dana Carvey:maybe that's remarkable I felt like Fraser in the 15th round last time I hosted like really now can I do this and then the same thing just pass the off dog the applause the laughs I mean your hosting was good experiences or is it not really yeah it was okay it was okay did Lauren give you a thumbs up or what did Lauren say to you well they they invited me to do it again so I guess it wasn't a total bum but But I had, you know, the hardest part was having to prepare a monologue. Yeah. Yeah. Because I hadn't been on in a long time. I expect the world from you. So I had to write a monologue and then do it in different clubs.

45:51Oh, you had to go out. Yeah. That was. That's a lot of work. I love you walking up there.

45:56Dana Carvey:Just do Q &A with the cast. Yeah. Yeah. That's the trick. You singing would have been funny. Yeah. In a club they go we have a guest here Larry Dave and you walk up said dogs are funny And everyone's like what's he doing And then a half hour before the show At 11 o 'clock I was called up to Lauren's office And the censor was there And the censor said That I couldn't do this I couldn't do this bit Oh at 11? Yeah at 11 o 'clock Fuck off And two bits they didn't want me to do Oh come on Oh please And then I went on. Well, the other one, whatever. You know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to, I got it.

46:39I'm going to do it. You're not going to do it? Well, you've said you're going to. I said, no, I'm going to. Oh, you said you're going to do it. I said, yeah. And I can't. I said, I can't. I have to do it. Well, you have nothing. And I go, yeah, I go, what? Why is it offensive? I don't get it. Who's going to be offended by this? Lorne, Lorne, after five minutes of this said, I can't, I can't do him. But he said to the censor, I don't think you're going to win this one. Oh, he said to the censor? He said that to the censor. Oh, that's good.

47:12Dana Carvey:I don't think you're going to win this one. Yeah, that's exactly it. Let's get Larry to make up. You can only take so much from a Larry David. We've wasted Larry's time enough. Let him go down. Check his celebrity net worth, then you'll see that he truly is. you know when I when I hosted a great story about me we can cut this out we already did um no I had when I hosted I had uh it was Sandler was in my trick monologue I'm only telling you this because it's kind of similar to where uh he's the audience member but he's playing a goofy guy that he used to do so he was there that weekend he goes I'll come and we'll do that that'll be your monologue so I can worry about the 13 sketches that are about to bomb and so that morning Saturday they say Adam goes I got a water boy open that weekend big and he had to fly back to LA to go that I can't do it pal I was like oh shit so I couldn't cover it because it was his character and I'm like what's my monologue and then we're like okay rehearsal and I'm like in going guys I got to get a monologue at one of the breaks and they go and everyone does just do stand-up but I hadn't done it for a while and I definitely hadn't done a club or anything so there's no practice which you need a little even when we were at the 50th i just did a set with chris rock and nate bergazzi just for fun because we're out having dinner and they go oh milaney and steve martin and martin short we're just here doing stand-up they all came in everyone to the set just like everyone bumped super fun night but i don't get to do that so i just go oh i have this one in my act about a polar bear and about this other one and then they go just do that so the only time i rehearsed it was at dress or right before dress you know to try it but i couldn't really remember it all and then i had to sit my dressing and go how does that one go so scary it went all right but i know the monologue it's it's all how come you didn't get them on cards i got it oh because i had to tell cards what to put and i just said just forget it just put monkey joke polar bear oh okay and and go to a commercial when i started fucking crying i don't like stand-up either i mean honestly if any time a show was canceled i was happy you're happy right but if i go up and i'm killing i go well this is kind of fun but i never want to go and i don't I'm exactly the same way.

49:20Dana Carvey:I never want to be in a de facto comedy competition, go to the comedy store, there's 10 comics. I'm going to try new stuff. They're doing their A stuff, lean into it. And I just don't like the people. You were one of the best tonight. I mean, what do I need that for? I'm just like you. Do you do corporates? Do they call you to come in? No, uh-uh. They're fun. Somebody's got enough money. No, I don't get asked. Oh, yeah. Really? I'm going to talk to my people. Have you ever been in a headlock by another adult male as an adult? Because the CEO was drunk and had me at a corporate event. Hey, you're the church lady talking guy.

49:59It's funny you should ask me that because at the 50th, I was introduced to Paul McCartney. And I said to him, has anyone ever punched you in the mouth? instead of hello

50:18Dana Carvey:we love all your albums I said let me ask you a question have you ever been hit in the face with a fist has anybody ever punched you that's fucking great and he must have loved it oh wait we were at dinner what did he say yeah the dinner yeah you were sitting right next to Paul yeah you were hilarious he was a good laugher too yeah he was into it I think he likes having these he's a charmer I mean but what did he say after you said he just started laughing no he did there was an incident there was an incident there was an incident in his youth when he was like 13 or 14 and somebody head-butted him, he told me.

50:49Dana Carvey:He's so charming. There's something on YouTube, you can look it up, but McCartney's going into a nightclub with people. This is like within five years in LA. The doorman doesn't recognize him. And they're like, no, you can't go. And then you hear Paul say, we've got to write more songs. We better go back to drawing, but we're not big enough. Oh, we're not famous enough. So anyway. I'm going to ask him. I was sitting next to Chris Rock and I came late and I felt embarrassed. but I was 100 % not invited. I was, Chris, I was meeting for dinner and he goes, just come here. And then I realized I was crashing at dinner.

51:22He was invited to or something, whatever. So anyway, I went and Paul was very nice. Whoever threw that thing, just like 10 people. But the funny part was I was sitting just where I could see kind of between, you guys are on the same side as me. So I'm trying to crank my head between Chris and you and see Paul. And here you guys, and Larry's killing. And then every time Paul gets to a story where he says something like I told you, where he's like, you know, yesterday the way I came up with it was one night when I was dreaming the guy was like who had potato skins and then he leaves and I go and then he's putting the shit down he goes top off your water top off and I'm like I'm trying to and then he goes I go it's a quarter inch we're topped off and he's like I got a little more in there then he comes out and I go and he goes and that's how I came up with yesterday and I go uh huh then he goes the last thing John ever said to me hey coconut shrimp hot plate hot plate and I'm like god damn dude I'm missing every this thing I couldn't pay enough to hear Paul McCartney talk about this shit

52:11Dana Carvey:I mean, between how humble and Liverpudlini is and the genius of the music. He's very little Liverpudlini. We sat down here for a plonk, you know, John and I, like looking in a mirror. And that's how we came up with Abbey Road, you know. We just plonked. You know, it's like, what the fuck? What about Lennon? What would he say? Well, here we go. John Lennon, yeah. John would be more nasal, you know. Paul was always one of those. Ringo's more like peace and love. They were me brothers. they're me brothers they're me brothers peace and love can you say anything else no me brothers and then the pole's like this and George is sort of Langarius sort of laid back you know they were the primary songwriters for me they were my brothers you know so anyway I'm obsessed with this guy's too much I'm just trying to make you laugh because you came you drove 300 miles no that was easy

53:13Do that Kim Kardashian one. Kim Kardashian one?

53:16Dana Carvey:Oh, that's why I do John Lennon talking to Paul John from heaven because I want to hear them talk, you know. And, you know, what happened to the big orange man, you know? Well, he's president again, but he was beat by another man, you know, named Joe Biden, you know. And he goes, wasn't he, what about, didn't Kanye West, what happened to him? We went, flew away. We don't know what happened to him, you know? Wasn't he with a woman named Kim Kardashian? What is she doing? I'm doing the short version. I like that John knows a couple little things. They talk regularly. A couple of pop references. Well, you know, she's a nice gal.

53:49Dana Carvey:You know, how does she make a living? Well, she takes pictures of her bottom. What's so special about her bottom? It's not a normal bottom. It's a bottom 2.0. It's like God made a family and attached a person as an afterthought. The whole family has big bottoms. All of them are doing it. And if they follow in their backs, they're sort of like turtles. They can't get up again. They have to have turtle wranglers lift them up. The whole family's doing it. One gentleman got so frustrated, he became a woman. So that's a truncated version of it. You have a great sense of humor. Can you come back tomorrow?

54:28Well, I love impressions. Me too. If I see someone. Love them. Yeah. Bill Hader was on my show and he was. Oh, he's so. Oh, my God.

54:38Dana Carvey:Yeah. Did he do one of my bits, I think? Bert and Kirk or Jimmy Stewart. No, he gave you credit. He did Bert and Kirk. He gave you full credit. I know, I know. It was flattering how much he loves it because I think he's absolutely brilliant. But yeah, he loves that Bert and Kirk thing too. I want you. I want you new. Now take it easy, son. We're just two men having fun. don't keep bucking around like that I only got so much play down there you keep bucking around like that so great I want you what are you gonna do cowboy come on I'll take you I do this for 20 minutes I once had John Lovitz throw up in a parking garage because I'll do it for 20 minutes because he was laughing so hard because it goes on and on and on and on no we're doing good I think maybe we wasted enough of his time I mean, this is my current favorite.

55:39Dana Carvey:Do you want me to do it? Yeah, do one more. Because it's not, this is Jimmy Stewart, which I think Conan, but trying to come up with a new Jimmy Stewart thing is that someone's going to perform oral sex on him and he does it as Jimmy Stewart. Okay. So it's not X-rated. Okay. I know this one too. All right. No, no, no. You don't, don't touch it. No, just, just slow down. Now, I want you to slowly turn your head and look away. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Just look away. Now, I want you to forget about it. Pretend you never saw it. Now, slowly but ever slowly, turn your head back around and discover it again.

56:20Dana Carvey:That's it. That's the look I want. Just discover it. Just consider it. Now, slowly. So that's my latest story. That's just hilarious. I've never done this many bits on a show. That's so funny. Discover it and consider it. Well, I have one where he leaves the house. Now I'm going to go around the corner and get a soda pop, and I want you to forget all about it. You never saw it. Then I'm going to come back, and I want you to slowly turn and discover it again like it's brand new. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, don't touch it. Just think about it. I'll back the head up again. And I'm going to back up and go out in the hallway.

57:04Dana Carvey:So, see, I'll just go for 20 minutes. Oh, my God. But you're the greatest audience with me. Well, I love impressions. That's a good closer. I do, too. It should be your closer. That's a fucking great one. I'm going to edit these things together and release it as a special. So funny. Holy cow. Anything you need from us, Larry, you're all right. Oh, no, I'm good. Thank you very much for coming here. You're just an amazing guest. I don't know what to say other than - I did the best I could. You did great. We all didn't want to do this and we all did it. And I think I'm proud of us all. Did you want to go?

57:41Dana Carvey:Yes. That's all I do with Jerry. How many podcasts are there? Over three million. Like over three million now? No, honestly. No, I think there's three million. Does that seem too long? Sounds like a joke. There's three million podcasts in North America. I don't know. How does everyone do it? We Googled it, and that was over 3 million. That was about a year ago. Most don't get past 30 episodes, so they come in and out. But I don't know how. Greg, here's our producer. How do they? It seems easy. It's kind of hard to do. Digital space is unlimited. We can all just, you know. It feels like the easiest thing in the world.

58:20So if you're an actor or if you're doing anything in showbiz and things are slow, you feel like you want to do something. You know, like, well. Right, right. and then it's like when people used to watch the kardashians they wanted a reality show they go hey i argue i hate my family too i yell at them in the kitchen i could do this show so that's what they think and then they go to podcast and it's a little trickier and tougher and a lot fizzle but uh some stick around it's it's it's a little bit to it it's a new tech so it's sort of like you

58:48Dana Carvey:know you do the talk show and you do the pre-interview and you have two minutes and they're cutting and so this is just like us hanging out so this new art form of like shooting the rehearsal doing half-baked stuff we don't have a script i had a few questions right it's good to have a day so it is fun um it can be fun you know just because of the freedom of it yeah and it's great that you're doing it together yeah i think yeah we we get along really well yeah it's easier and then if someone else whoever we got here one of us knows something about something and but we let them talk sometimes we let you talk a little bit yeah i said i said a couple of things feel free to cut me out of the whole thing we don't need too much for me well i'd say i watch you on conant and i noticed this morning just and i said oh god larry loves to laugh you know you know like you you're like maybe the funniest guy whatever let's just say he's arguably the funniest person in the last this generation arguably last 300 you're in the conversation as the funniest person so to make that guy laugh is just a pleasure you heard the the conan what podcast yeah yeah yeah and you guys are having such a good time and i noticed because i haven't hung out with you a lot i just said larry loves to laugh yeah you know and so that's why i just thought i'd do a few things um you know all right anyway when he did when i did curb and this is the last thing i'll say you had to cut some stuff out and you called me because it's very tough to call someone telling me you had to cut something so he told me and the funniest part was I said okay well I had a great time and thanks for putting me on there and it was and then you felt guilty and you go now I feel bad and I go well I understand it and they go are you being sarcastic I go no I know that these shows go long and we ad lib forever and you've got to take some stuff out and you go alright I'll try to put it back in and I go no it's fine and it turned into another episode because it was just funny to hear you feel bad that you had to call me, but it's hard to tell someone that.

1:00:42And a lot of people say, they never even told me. I'm like, it's hard to tell people this. It is what it is. If it gets cut, it gets cut. But that was nice.

1:00:49Dana Carvey:The people who would design Seinfeld and Curb would have all that kind of emotions because it's coming from all this humanism. Yeah. You're on both sides. So that makes sense that you would suddenly feel bad because if you're a sensitive instrument. Well, once on Seinfeld, this guy I knew paid a lot of money to be an extra for charity and I inadvertently cut him out of the show and he had a party, he was going to have people over his house yeah I fucked him, alright okay, thanks bud

1:01:26Hey, guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now! Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

1:01:54Dana Carvey:Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweetech. Booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kirk Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions be asked and answered on the show you can email us at fly on the wall at Odyssey Dot-com that's a u d a c y.com