In short
A republished conversation with comedian Nikki Glaser about her career path, comedy psychology, and performing at the Tom Brady roast (including joke overlap, boundaries, and audience reaction).
Guest backgrounds
Nikki Glaser is a working comedian known for constant writing, upbeat energy, and “good laugher” style. She’s a frequent road performer and has an HBO special titled “Someday You’ll Die” (mentioned as coming out May 11). She discusses her Missouri upbringing, her musician father, and her parents’ support after years of struggle.
Key claims
Glaser says she “peaked” after the Tom Brady roast/Golden Globes era but still sells out. She describes manifesting success by never letting herself believe it wouldn’t happen. She argues jealousy/rumor dynamics drive comedy competition, and that co-signs (like Kevin Hart’s) can strongly shape public perception.
Notable examples
Her first set at the University of Colorado while battling a severe eating disorder; her roast joke overlap with Kevin Hart (both using similar CTE setups); her “standing ovation” moment; and Tom Brady/Gisele jokes framed around boundaries (no kids).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCelebrating Nikki Glaser
0:45 to 1:59
Dana and David share their admiration for Nikki's comedic style and work ethic.
“she's always upbeat on the show we play vegas together we're actually it was fun you guys are I was invited to a dinner with her.”
Nikki's Background & Family
1:59 to 3:40
Nikki discusses her family dynamics and upbringing as a successful comedian.
“I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and I don't own a home.”
The Struggles of Fame
3:40 to 6:27
Nikki opens up about her early struggles with eating disorders and her journey into comedy.
“I knew when I first like started, it was going to take, I said eight years before I wouldn't depend on them to like help me out a little bit here and there.”
Finding Humor Amidst Struggles
6:27 to 9:13
Nikki talks about how humor helped her cope with challenges and connect with others.
“I'm like, listen, I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in and then maybe do the afternoon shift.”
Competitive Nature in Comedy
9:13 to 12:25
The hosts discuss the competitive aspects of comedy and how it motivates them.
“Um, I looked like a skeleton, like it was crazy.”
Reflections on Fame and Acceptance
12:25 to 14:01
The conversation shifts to the complexities of fame and the desire for acceptance.
“I just thought, well, there's a standard.”
The Competitive Nature of Comedy
14:01 to 15:10
Explore the competitive dynamics within comedy, especially during roast events.
“Like I can't compete maybe in other ways in comedy.”
The Roast Experience: Jokes and Challenges
15:10 to 17:47
Nikki Glaser recounts her roast experience and the challenges of performance.
“I go, is everyone going fucking long or what's going on here?”
Nikki's Best Line of the Night
17:47 to 18:42
Nikki shares a clever joke about Tom Brady that resonates with the audience.
Kevin Hart's Generosity and Support
18:42 to 21:51
Discussion on Kevin Hart's supportive role during performances in comedy.
“without hearing it, but maybe they won't be able to place it.”
Show all 28 chapters
The Impact of Audience Perception
21:51 to 23:01
Nikki reflects on the influence of audience comments and reactions on her career.
Overcoming Jealousy in Comedy
23:01 to 27:48
Nikki discusses feelings of jealousy and how she combats negative thoughts about others.
“They were the first ones that said, yeah, you, you, yeah, you've got it.”
Navigating Rumors and Misconceptions
27:48 to 28:00
Nikki shares her experiences with rumors and the challenges faced in her career.
“I had to like move out of my home club town because it was like, no one respected me and everyone thought I was stealing jokes from guys.”
Navigating Comedy and Bullying
28:00 to 29:20
Explore how bullying experiences shape comedic perspectives.
“It's like, it sounds like it's like works through the history of time.”
The Roast of Rob Lowe
29:20 to 30:50
Insights on the unique dynamics of roasting celebrities.
“Like I just couldn't get stage time because she convinced everyone I was a hack whore.”
The Tom Brady Roast Experience
30:50 to 36:40
Discussion on the challenges and expectations of roasting Tom Brady.
“And then I thought one of the interesting things that never did it was the respect and quiet unwritten rule that regular people don't seem to know.”
Empathy and the Celebrity Roast
36:40 to 42:00
Understanding the emotional impact of comedy on public figures.
“And if you watch a Greg Giraldo roast compilation, that's all you need to do to watch to know what you're in for.”
Roasting and Celebrity Pain
42:00 to 43:32
Exploration of the dynamics of roasting celebrities and its emotional impact.
“But that's kind of like the person we want to get who thinks there's such hot shit that - There's nothing there.”
Strangers vs Friends in Roasting
43:32 to 45:20
Discussion on the difference between roasting friends and strangers.
“Isn't Jeff Frost kind of a ladies man or, you know.”
The Pressure of Performance
45:20 to 47:20
Nikki talks about the pressure and preparation involved in performing at a roast.
“Then he gets like Sam J and he does, nah, whatever that one was.”
Learning from Past Experiences
47:20 to 48:58
Insights on how past performances shape future success and diligence in comedy.
“And I thought that's exactly the frame of mind.”
Evolving Comedy Work Ethic
48:58 to 51:05
Examination of the evolving discipline and preparation in the stand-up comedy scene.
“What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in?”
Social Media's Impact on Comedy
51:05 to 53:18
Discussion on how social media changes the landscape of comedy and performance sharing.
“And that's what I learned from this is like, it's, it takes, it takes a month to get up the six minutes.”
The Future of Comedy Specials
53:18 to 55:44
Nikki and the hosts reflect on the differences between platforms for comedy specials.
“You're going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever.”
On the Road with Comedy
55:44 to 56:00
Discussion on performing live and the dynamics of touring as comedians.
Comedic Chemistry on the Road
56:00 to 57:52
Nikki Glaser shares her experiences of performing with David and Dana and the joy it brings.
“I start sounding like him by the end of the week.”
Preparing for Late Night
57:52 to 59:50
Nikki discusses her preparation for appearances on shows like Kimmel and Howard Stern.
“So if you do have another person there, the whole energy, you come out.”
Personal Connections and Achievements
59:50 to 1:00:44
Nikki reflects on her personal connections with Dana and David and career achievements.
“As the business side of my head, my final comment is that you're still penetrating the market, not a sexual bond.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Dana, we've got a republished episode of one of our favorites, Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser. She's fun. She's fun. This was a fun one. Super fun. She, you know, the good thing about Nikki, a lot of these comedians that I see or hang out with, she is a good laugher. You know comedians that don't give it up at all. It's kind of tough to have goofy conversations. She laughs a lot. she is always writing which i like she always wants to keep that act moving it's hard worker dedicated yeah she's a grinder my god her road gigs i look at her instagram it's like microscopic i can't even read all the cities she's going to and that takes it takes its toll it's a tough job she's always upbeat on the show we play vegas together we're actually it was fun you guys are
0:52Dana Carvey:I was invited to a dinner with her. Oh, that's right. During COVID? Yeah. Yeah. Her act is very adult, but she's actually sort of old-fashioned, but incredibly sweet and doesn't have any airs about her. Like in this episode you're going to listen to, she was sort of kind of on a roll, but she said this will be the hottest I'll ever be. It was after the Tom Brady roast, I believe, if I have this correct. Is that right? I think so. And I think it was before Golden Globes, I think. Yes, it was before Golden Globes after that. And that blew her up again. She was kind of self-effacingly saying, I've just peaked.
1:36Dana Carvey:I had a run. But she's still killing it. She's selling out. She's doing great. Like I said, we're at the Venetian in Vegas this weekend. So a lot of fun with her. actual friend, actually someone I text with. Absolutely. She's incredibly easy and fun to talk to. Here she is.
1:58Dana Carvey:What's the state tax? Are you taxed in your native state? I would never know that. I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and I don't own a home. I don't own a car. I don't have kids. But I do spend a lot of money to see Taylor Swift and stuff like that. And I eat out for every meal. You don't have a car. So you just Uber everywhere. I have my, I bought my mom a car and then I took her car. And so I'm driving my mom's car. I paid for it. That's a great present. Just keep taking it back. How are your parents? No, my mom's old car. Oh, that's insane. Handling, having a famous daughter who's really successful.
2:39How are they? Oh, they love it. How does that? They're famous, Dana. She's there on her Instagram.
2:44Dana Carvey:My parents, there were five kids and so tons of pictures on the refrigerator. And then as I got more and more successful, eventually it was just all me. And I said, Mom, what are you doing? So did she have envisions, your mom or dad, to be in theater arts? My dad is a musician and plays around St. Louis in grocery stores and different bars. Don't lowball him like that. I know he feels, he hates when I start with grocery stores, but it mainly is grocery. But he's really, he's a great musician. He just, he just wanted a family and a safety. So he chose like a career in cable, which was safe for many years until he got out right after he got out.
3:32And then, yeah.
3:33Dana Carvey:Yeah. Yeah. So it was, so he took the safe route and then I, he really believed in me and always supported me. I knew when I first like started, it was going to take, I said eight years before I wouldn't depend on them to like help me out a little bit here and there. And it was like eight years on the day where I didn't need them anymore, where I got that first check that kind of made it. So they weren't normally warm, but in your own mind, I can talk for David or me. It's like, it didn't seem like a risk. Uh, I was like, well, I'm just going to try this. I mean, Were you more like, oh, maybe I should have a plan B and be at a junior high school?
4:10No, my plan B was kill myself someday. I mean, honestly, that was kind of like, I was like, I guess I'll just, I don't know what I'll do if I don't find an in some way. Because I tried all the other ends. I tried acting. I tried singing. And no one cared to hear any more of that. And I mean, I wanted to go to theater school and be like an actress. And then I couldn't even get booked in my high school play. I was always like, you know, in the diary of Anne Frank, I was Jewish townsperson B. and that was my senior year of like, this is going to be my role. And so I was getting all the feedback that I did not have it.
4:41You're not saying Frank, that's not.
4:42Dana Carvey:By the way, her plan B was just a pill plan B. That's the only plan B we've heard. But did you guys have a plan B? I think that's part of why I was successful is that I didn't even, there was just no chance that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe I let that thought in for 20 minutes of my whole time struggling. Maybe I just, it never even occurred. I feel like I hear about like Jim Carrey and, and, and manifesting stuff. And I don't, I think I unintentionally manifested this career because I never let in a thought that it wouldn't happen. Well, I think that's good. I mean, for me, it was like, I think after a few years, I don't know the eras of comedy booming, but at some point I was averaging five to 600 a month, a$50 gig,$25.
5:30Dana Carvey:birthday party. So then I was like, in those days, too bad for the younger generation, I could, that was my job. So now this is my job. I was a waiter before this and a damn good one. Yeah. Yeah. I love waiting tables too. This is my job. So then I just went wherever. But I just thought if this is what I do to make money on planet Earth, this would be a good way to go. Yeah. Even if it stayed at that level, you mean. Yeah. I always said a waiter's wage and now it'd be like, 2 ,000 a month, 2 ,500 a month probably. Yeah. Yeah, I did the same thing. Yeah, my overhead like you, Nikki, when you start, everyone when they start is a minimal overhead.
6:10So I quit too early. I was in Arizona State and I was working at a clothing store. And I was also - And I quit because I was making 80 a week. I was making four gigs that are$20 a pop. And I was like, I feel like I got this because I wasn't. And then I got out of school. My mom was like, God damn. I'm like, listen, I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in and then maybe do the afternoon shift. And it didn't seem that hard. But I thought I can't have everything was too tough. School started to get hard. I got distracted by standup. So if what were you studying to be like lofty goals, were you in school to be something?
6:49It was not. It was a little early on because I was still like an anthropology and things that didn't matter. but it was to ultimately be in advertising because my dad was and my brother Andy was. Okay. That makes sense. And advertising is the thing that you go, okay, if I, that was always my fallback to all of the like, because it's creative, but apparently it's even more soulless than what we did. Like it's apparently it's, you're so creative all day and it's sometimes fun, but it's like, you're ultimately just trying to manipulate people with your art. And that's gotta be kind of depressing, which we is what we are doing a lot of times as well.
7:22Dana Carvey:So we've asked people this before, but like, okay, your first set. Yeah. Yeah, it was. And where was it in the day of the first set that you know you're going to go up? I mean, of course it was good, right? Because none of us do it. Your first set is always good. Again, do you know how many comedians that would be like just legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn't even imagine how good it feels to have a good set? Because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the good one. no amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it. But yeah, of course it was good.
7:54It was at a university of Colorado as my freshman year. And I was like really not doing well mentally. I was, I had an eating disorder. I was like on death's door. Literally. I was about to die. And I was praying to die because it's just a miserable life. You don't eat, you can't eat because that's part of the disease. You're hungry all the time. You're cold. No one wants to be friends with you because they think you're like on a diet trying to look hot, even though like that's the last thing you're trying to do you're just like stuck it's like it's the fucking worst it's having a terminal illness and everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot it's like it sucks choosing to be hot yeah well it's because it starts that way right like you get you do a diet and it kind of works you get some attention and then i went as i do fucking but i just couldn't i went bananas and didn't even eat one of those a week and, and just, uh, like it.
8:47And so I was really good at it, but then it got really bad. I was hospitalized and stuff. So it was, I went off to school to like get away from my parents who were like monitoring what I was up to with not eating. And it was already my plan to go out of state for school. But then I caught this eating disorder between deciding to go out of state and leaving for it. And, um, I was hospitalized during the summer at home. It's, it's a, it's rough, but I tricked them all got out was like I'll eat enough and I'll go to school I'll be responsible all the doctors are telling my parents she's gonna die if she goes there like there's no question I was like yes like let me this is hell I don't even know how to get out of this I don't want to get out of it like it's just it's fucked but then um because I looked so scary this is my theory because I looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend um I just became like loud and like funny and like told stories and and violent like you know when we're introducing ourselves around the dorm or at the sorority.
9:42I was like rushing a sorority. Um, I looked like a skeleton, like it was crazy. And, but I just was so funny that people started forgetting the way I looked and wanting to be friends with me or I just amped up. Yeah. And I'd never done that before. I never needed to do that before. I kind of just always wanted to be not noticed. But at this point I was so noticeable by the way I looked, I couldn't not get ahead of it. And then that was when I started hearing like, you should be a comedian. And I was like, huh? Like, is that what it, what I don't, I knew about stand-up but I didn't pay attention it wasn't I liked SNL I liked Seinfeld I liked Friends I liked Conan that was like the pillars of my comedy obsession but I didn't get into stand-up and then I I like googled it in my dorm room and was like Is it true you were inspired by JonBenet and her early success?
10:28I didn't put the joke in my special which is coming out You didn't? May 11th May 11th
10:32Dana Carvey:What's the name of it? HBO it's called Someday You'll Die and um it's saturday may 11th so it's already out now by i think the time this is airing but so just go check it out hbo someday you'll die and i but i cut it from the special but because i had too many jokes about like wanting pretty girls to die and so i had to i had to lose one of them so it was you know the the joke is a true story i've always been like insecure always wanting to be the center of attention not knowing how to like get it um i feel like that's faded as i get older and realize it's not that fun. But initially I was always like, who doesn't want to be famous?
11:09Do you guys relate to that? Your friends in high school or middle school? But mine were like, not really. We don't really care about being famous. And I'm like, what? Is that everything?
11:20Dana Carvey:I think now, I mean, a younger generation because everyone is famous in their own way with Instagram and all that. I said this to Jerry Seinfeld. I checked with my wife once a year. I go, honey, did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous ever. Really? And she said no. Because I was just trying to win the club. I was trying to get to the middle and then get to the headline. I was just thinking like that. It was too abstract that I would be famous, too crazy that I could be on TV. And it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career. I never was able to really take it in. So Dana, what motivated you was just becoming a headliner.
11:59Like that was the first, like I just want to be able to make a living, a good living, a decent living doing standup and making people laugh.
12:05Dana Carvey:Yeah. And I came from a track and field cross country background. So I was also really, really competitive, but not in a nasty way. But when Robin Williams was there initially, and then he left to do more can Mindy when he came back, which I said many times, I don't know. He would levitate the room as I call it. It looked like he wasn't trying. It was explosive. I just thought, well, there's a standard. So I kept saying, I've got to get more intense and i was i was horrible i would have one you know joke after like a five minute setup for a way and i was like yeah i see a short setup and then a lot of you know it took me a long time but man did you you figured it out i mean so quickly you're you got to this level uh yeah i mean but relative like like you had it from being like bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs Robin Williams gets in a you figured it out.
13:01But that's so interesting to me to, because there is a difference. Like I think for me being famous is just like being loved. You know, like it sounds vapid, but it's like at its core, it's just like, I just want love and acceptance. I want to be able to survive in the world because people like me already. You know, it's just a survival instinct. So it's, I hate, I want to take some vapidity away from it because it feels like, I just want everyone to like is that even word i just want everyone to you know um i like that you're already you're already walking in a room and we have the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion or at least you're not scary at least when you walk up to people or you say oh your kids are cute they don't think you're a psychopath they're like oh this guy or any situation you can say hi to people or you can and they kind of are off guard already they're not like hey fuck you don't walk up to me yeah well doesn't that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting the whole tribe to know who you are and care about keeping you around because and and having some stake in your existence i mean it's it it comes from uh it makes sense where it comes from but dana i think i also have that in me too that competitive nature that i didn't i i didn't know because i think i'm the same way of like i'm not like throwing a you know remote control if i lose a video game kind of angry competitive but i am i am viciously competitive and you realize that when you do things like the roast which is like i was just thinking about this this is like the day after two days after the roast and like immediately you walk off stage and everyone's like this was the best this was the second best this was like it is a ranking thing and i'm like oh my god that's why i like roses because i want to i finally found a way in comedy to like compete and in a way that I feel comfortable competing.
14:49Like I can't compete maybe in other ways in comedy. Um, and I don't look at like going up at the comedy store against people as a competition, but this is like, you have five minutes, everyone's doing the same thing. It's the same task and who's the best. And yeah, it brings out that nature. The real thing is you have five minutes. Everyone's doing 23. It's so true. Oh my God. I texted you during the roast. I go, is everyone going fucking long or what's going on here? Well, it was interesting. They told us like, you know, Football players are getting three minutes. Belichick's getting two. And then you're getting six.
15:24Andrew's getting six. Jeff's getting six. And everyone went over because the laughs. You don't account for the laughs at the forum. But I will say they were like, I thought they were going to be a lot more strict about, you can't do this. You can't say this. But get this. I'm sitting. So I have my set. Like, I'm down to the wire, right? I've been working for a month on perfecting every fucking word, every transition. everything makes sense finally get it down submit it i'm and i mean like under the wire then rush to the red carpet out of the red carpet i go do i have time to go to prompter to see what this fucking looks like even read through the prompter in the prompter room all the comedians all the people on the dais are in the room so i'm like can they get me like so i'm reading through kevin's behind me i'm like kevin hart will you not look at but he couldn't see over everyone's shoulders anyway so it didn't fucking matter so i was like i was can you raise the monitor and so he um so I'm reading through.
16:17I like, um, and then, and then rushed right on stage. I sit down. Kevin comes up to do his set first at open. And he does one of my jokes.
16:28Dana Carvey:Oh, classic roast situation. Do you think he saw it on the prompter? No. Oh my God. That setup sounded like I thought he stole it. no, no, no. Yeah. No. Sorry about that. Parallel development. Yes. Obviously. And, um, but I was just like, how did they not catch this? But the truth is like the writing team is getting jokes last minute. Kevin chose his jokes very last minute. They're entering them in. No one cross checked it. So his joke is that Tom Brady got out of his divorce and then he's been fucking around town so much. His dick has CTE. And mine was about masturbating to him to research for this.
17:00And my, my clit has CTE. And, but I, but on mine, I have like a tag that I'm like, okay, that kind of, that makes it different. So I'll just blow past the fact that I do the same joke, but I'm also like, at first I'm just my face. I can't even, I'm on camera, but I'm like, oh no. How do you get it off the prompter that? I mean, during the show, you can't get it off the prompter, right? No, it's a live show. There's no producer to call. We're on stage already sat. I don't have, I'm like, do I talk into my lab and think maybe someone hears me? I don't have an in the air to hear if they hear me. Jeff Ross, who's the producer, comes and sits down next to me.
17:30I go, I have the same joke Kevin just did, and I can't take it out of the prompter. The prompter guy is not convoked. I haven't worked with him enough to, hey, if I do this, just go to the next one. I had it set. so then I'm looking at one of my friends who's in the front row and she knows my set backwards and forwards and I go and she's like deer in headlights look too and I go what do I do and she's just like looking at the carpet because we're trying to think of another joke that will fit coming out of Tom you were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the CTE like into something CTE without saying it like any can you jump the line without the prompter freaking out and no but that's the thing i'm like i don't think i can't because i'm like i don't even know and then i and it would ruin my flow entirely if i stopped and go hey can you and then i go okay maybe i'll just say the joke and go um that would have gotten better had it not been already set like address it but then that's like do i need to i've never performed for even this big of a crowd before it's at the forum so it's like i don't know the dynamics of the sound and what people like and so but then i did the math on it i was like okay there's enough time between me and that joke that they might reset.
18:38Like they'll subconsciously know that isn't as funny as it would have been without hearing it, but maybe they won't be able to place it.
18:45Dana Carvey:I think so. I mean, I just noticed it and I went, oh, well, the head didn't talk to the tail. That was just, and there was going to be - Yeah, no one's going to be like, she stole that 11 minutes ago. Other people talking about how beautiful Tom Brady is, how attractive he is and stuff like that, or is he gay? How can you not have overlap? There's going to be bumps. definitely and i was surprised that there weren't more like when i submit because after that happened it was one of his first jokes and so the rest of the time i'm watching his the teleprompter like where else like how what am i gonna do like it was just that moment of you know live tv which obviously you guys are used to where it's like you're i gotta make a decision and let's just see if it i know the right one but you you have the best line of the night which was i thought it was the most clever it was hard hitting it was but it really made me laugh out loud and that was how does it feel i won't want him to say that when he he can kick your ass while he eats yeah oh thank you yeah yeah i'd say that i talk about tom brady um now uh giselle his ex-wife is dating a jujitsu instructor i was like that's gotta hurt knowing your uh ex-wife's new boyfriend could beat your ass while eating hers i like that you like that because i was like oh did i even say that poor Giselle.
20:03Dana Carvey:Well, it's so outrageous, but it was constructed really well. And you said hers. You didn't say ask twice. It was a reason it was palatable. Thank you. That really means a lot. Well, I, I, I'll just tell you point point. Like it doesn't matter that you're on the thing. I, I thought you won the night. You saw how Kevin Hart react. If, if there is a competition, there is, he was a good reactor though. He really did give it up to you. You know, me, me, me, not no money line and all that. I mean, he sincerely in that moment was giving it up to like, that's how it's done. It doesn't get any better.
20:35Dana Carvey:So you must have felt good after that. I mean, amazing because you guys know, like we are all kind of in competition sometimes. And for another comedian, like Kevin Hart, who definitely has achieved that level of success by making things about him and probably not making it about other people and shining the light on them. That's how you get there to use that time to break. I mean, he, he literally went up and was like quoting people's jokes, just saying them again. He literally, after, after I got a standing ovation, which I didn't even know about, he goes, I want everyone in the, in case you didn't see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation to give me that.
21:09Like he did. I know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up. It wasn't so that people actually, it was, it was designed that way. And I thanked him afterwards. And I said, I know you did. You didn't need to be as generous with you know the laughter and and and saying things afterwards you did and he was he did it for everyone and it was it was an example of what i want to like be more like in this business it made it more fun it made him very likable too yeah it's it's a way kith allen you know when you go on his show when you do stand up on his show he comes which is terrifying and it you kind of do you don't go up cold but you're coming back from a commercial break it's obviously it's like all of a sudden this person just standing there who's no one's seen it's like a kind of going up cold a little bit for an audience but he comes out before warms them up tells them i love this girl so much like even if he doesn't oh yeah and then he is like cackling at his desk and just his silhouette moving he probably isn't even making any sound but he's giving us that and yes the audience is watching him to decide how to feel about me subconsciously it's the way that um i feel about youtube comments which i hate so much i hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time and david i always when i talk about this i always say how you um you told me that the hollywood what minute what it was showbiz yeah hollywood minute on snl was the only time like like celebrities got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed correctly like that yeah it was all people magazine and all everything was like fawning fawning yeah but that was the only place for it in the 90s like and look at it now we that that seems insane that that would be the like it's it didn't exist before yeah and so yeah youtube comments are constantly there to tell you how to feel about a video like even i'm a pretty savvy consumer and i feel like you know i want to watch content and really make my own decision about how i feel about this and not be influenced but then a little youtube comment pops up and if it's like you know if it's one of if it's fly on the wall or whatever commenting like one of the greatest things i've ever seen and i see a little check mark next year even if i don't know what it is i'm like oh someone with a check mark thinks this is the best thing yeah i like i like this more no matter what i just do even me who knows that it's trying to get me to like it so that's what uh i think it's really detrimental when it's negative but when kevin kind of co-signed it really i think that's why um there's been this fervor afterwards that i've never felt in my career before of people being like you had a standing ovation you were the best one i'm like thank you kevin hart i mean i did well but that really that boost helps so much it's hard to have no glitches it's hard to go through a set it's hard to go later i when they introduced you i said fuck yeah she's got to go soon because andrew schultz who's great and by the time i got to him i forgot he was going on i'm like oh my god he's still he's got to follow every joke i told him and he still did great i told him i said you if we swap sets this could be a different conversation because he's like you did the best don't even fucking try to tell me i did too and he's being very sweet but i go but we know it was about they didn't have any juice left and we were two hours into a show i couldn't believe how well tom brady did three hours into a show i was like yeah but it was a good time though all around who did you guys in your career like do you feel were there any moments where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you're funny that is like stands out to you I know you have tons but well uh for me um I guess Brad Gray uh and Bernie Bernstein they were um
24:50Dana Carvey:they just championed me I had other managers and people didn't get me I I was sort of a cutesy guy I didn't look like a comedian I did a lot of weird uh sitcoms because I didn't know that I'd be on Saturday Night Live in three years, you know? Whoa, really? They were the first ones that said, yeah, you, you, yeah, you've got it. And directed you towards SNL and that kind of thing? Were they the ones that say, this is where you belong? Yes. And Bernie managed Lorne Michaels. Bernie was Lorne's manager. Got it. And we were all in the ecosystem there. So it was a lot of luck. But just wanted for a second, being competitive, like Kevin Hart, I'm sure is.
25:30Dana Carvey:Maybe he's like, who can get to a billion or whatever is a separate lane from generosity. Yeah. And being, you know, it's like, I can imagine you meeting a version of yourself who's like 22 in the clubs and you, you catch something good about her. And I, yeah, Tanya Harding her. You just make sure. Well, just to be honest, you probably would squash her. Right, because of the amount of time I've been doing it versus her. Yeah. Can you pull out the tricks and then the baton? But yeah, I am. That's what I was talking about. Like the Jean Benet story that I didn't get like I'm threatened by girls who are like younger and prettier and I can see potential in them.
26:10Like, of course, I want them to go away and to get, you know, get a boy like, you know, Brittany Murphy out. I hate to. I'm making obviously a joke, but I want them to get a boyfriend who controls them and then they don't get to succeed and be and reach their potential. There's a secret deep part of me that, yes, because when, to me, it's a survival of the fittest. And if she's out there, then that's one less spot for me. And people say there's room enough for everyone, but there is a threshold for how many people people can know. So you can say it all day. Everyone can be famous, but we don't, not everyone can.
26:42There is a threshold. So there is a spot. If someone goes, another spot opens up. But now I fight that disgusting part of my brain that is so jealous and so critical. And when I, I challenge myself every time I get threatened by a girl on Instagram, like I see a clip of a young hot girl and she's being hilarious, like Catherine Blanford or, uh, what is her name? Caroline Benowitz. These two like cute blonde, hilarious girls. And I'm just like, what the fuck? And I just want them to not be funny so bad. I'm watching it. Like, please don't be funny. And it is cause it is every time. Cause they're just naturally hilarious in a way that I feel like I'm not.
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27:18But now instead of when I feel like go away, bitch, I post it on my Instagram story. And I say this girl is hilarious. I just like I have to do it. It's my rule for myself to like fight that. Because people did that to me early on in my career and tried to like, you know, get me canceled in different clubs and told people I was sleeping with comedians to get stage time. And I was like a virgin. I didn't even I was scared of sex. And I was suddenly like this whore that was blowing people, disgusting comics for stage time. And it was, it really held me back. I had to like move out of my home club town because it was like, no one respected me and everyone thought I was stealing jokes from guys.
27:59I like that move still works. It's like, she's a whore. It's like, it sounds like it's like works through the history of time. Yeah. And it just, everyone's like, what? And, and she was, these guys were right. She's blowing Pauly Shore and he's writing for her. And I was, I was like, I don't know which I should be more insulted by. Not because Pauly's hilarious, but like that, how could you think he could write these jokes for me and that I would trust him to write to my voice. Like it was just like, it was, so I try to just do the opposite, even though they're absolutely, I res, I really relate to that bully, the person, you know, the people that even bullied me.
28:34What is,
28:34Dana Carvey:is the phrase rumor monger? Is that the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy people? It's easy to do, isn't it? Like, you know schadenfreude you know the german word for taking joy in your friends failures so that we all we all are five years oh okay we're all 10 years old inside so there is all those reflexes you know it's it's like toy story there's a new kid in town you know all that we do the next the next nikki glazer it's instinctual you're being replaced there's someone younger they get more attention they're more fertile like these are all the things i talk about in my special But yeah, it makes sense.
29:11Like I remember, what was I just going to say? Oh, but when my bully in my hometown, like who really devastated me and I really did have to leave town because she got all of my friend comics against me, like my club that I started at. Like I just couldn't get stage time because she convinced everyone I was a hack whore. And so that's the title of your next special.
29:36Dana Carvey:Hack whore. I think that's like the Japanese translation of my, of the one that's out now. That's your poster. That's the poster. In Tokyo. But when I remember, I had told Amy Schumer was, we were dear friends and we were talking about, and she knew all about her and, oh, we both hated this girl. And we're like, oh, you know what? This is going to drive you to succeed. And I finally got to a place where I was doing really well. And I remember texting Amy one day, like, I found out she's pregnant. And I was kind of like, oh, she's like got a husband or boyfriend. And Amy just goes, you won. I was like, oh, you're right.
30:15We're not going to hear much from her now. So, yeah. That's my new thing is wishing girls pregnant. I wish them to get pregnant to get rid of them for a while. Yeah, because instead of death, just pregnancy. It buys you some time. Yeah. When we did the roast for Rob Lowe, I saw Rob yesterday, actually. we did the roast for Rob Lowe why did I say that um we uh he's good because you can't not see him and go like I'm looking at a perfect yeah it's it's jarring what he looks at I'm sure you never get used to it but yeah when we were doing the roast it still bothers me it is he's my John Bonet so when I did uh the roast with Nikki that's the only one I've done was for against Rob Lowe or whatever it's called.
30:59It was Rob Lowe roast. And then I thought one of the interesting things that never did it was the respect and quiet unwritten rule that regular people don't seem to know. When I go to the improv, if Jeff Ross is on stage, I don't go in. And when they're practicing roast jokes, I saw you the other night, you're doing yours. The other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own. They go, we're not allowed to see each other. Yep. And when you go to the stage, Dana, they were like that day I'm going to just look at the prompter. Yeah. Rob Lowe is there and they go, we got to get Rob Lowe out before you can come in.
31:34And everyone's in on it and everyone understands.
31:37Dana Carvey:Yep. Oh, wait, we don't say it. Yeah. They just go, you're not ready to go in yet. And I, in my head I go, Oh, Nikki must be, someone's in there. Yeah. We don't, that's the strange thing. I've noticed that in this time around, like I'm running into Jeff around town and I'm, you're trying to get a sense of like, how hard are we going with Tom Brady? Can we mention Aaron Hernandez? can we mention him kissing his kids can we mention giselle even can we mention bridget moynahan can we mention him deflating balls like you don't know where the line is so i got on an early call and i'm like you know what's the vibe like you just want to get a sense of other people's jokes to see what's going on you don't know what they are yeah but you can't because you you wouldn't want anyone to see your jokes so you go am i the one going too far that's yeah and then you hear someone going too far and you're like well now i want to go for that and now your whole set the bar rises yeah that's what happened to me like a week ago i'm like wait there is an aaron hernandez joke like we're gonna joke about a guy who hung himself in prison tragically after killing someone because he had cte which is what all these guys are gonna get on stage eventually like oh we're going there let's okay now there were three of them right yeah yeah i mean it was yeah there were jimmonahan said something today she did she said and she posted something like uh you know i would never it wasn't it wasn't saying her but he's she said i would never let people it's really what you think she'd say something like that's not something i would do i thought we would never do stuff like this yeah about and it was like because she gets dragged into it i think one of your jokes yeah but also giselle took such a fucking beating that i all i wanted was her to walk out at the end and get a standing over how cool would that have been i'm sure they tried to get her but there's no way that would be so cool in a fucking karate gi it's brazilian with a white belt she goes i love it's a white belt it's not about the karate lesson yeah yeah yeah i haven't learned one thing okay i have a question nikki yeah in in the room and your vibe you're looking at tom you're watching him he's a good sport they say got mad at jeff ross for a second what's your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised i thought he was down for whatever i mean there was you know we all agreed not to make fun of his kids and the kissing thing we all were like we don't want to bring that into it because it you know his kids are in like middle school we want to keep them to keep that special between them um and so uh we just decided that was kind of the only that was the only one that i was like hey we're all kind of collectively not going to do that and i go okay well there goes half my act lit like so much was about kissing the guy helping because that was the only thing i knew about him like that was right when that video came out i was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the lips as a kid and and i had a I bit about like it went into my adulthood where I was like, we can't do this.
34:37And I know we do this as a family. And my other friends would be like, you guys kiss him. Like I related to it. So I had a lot of jokes about that. And then they all went away. But forget what your question was.
34:49Dana Carvey:Well, did you feel like that he was. Oh, yeah. You might see that he co-signed for the Giselle jokes and he had a heads up that is where they were going to go to. Dude, it was so rough. Well, I couldn't look at him because I felt like he, even in there's this clip of me online that I'm watching and he cuts to him and he looks devastated. Like he looks really shell shot. Like a tight smile. Yeah. And I thought he would be able to fake it more. But I also, I'm like, oh, wow. I thought he was going to know all of our jokes. I honestly, because he's an EP on it. So I thought he, and he wants to control things.
35:23like i'm sure he's he's gonna deflate some of our jokes by looking at him and you know and making him more palatable for him to handle and hold and um but he didn't and he he because even when um jeff made the robert craft joke about like alluding to the right happy ending massages he got up and was like no i didn't hear it happen but i i saw him get up i didn't know what he said but i was on stern yesterday and he said that he was like no that's too far or something and that was a real
35:49Dana Carvey:say that shit again yeah that's what he said yeah yikes i would because jeff jeff did sit back down and was like did i cross like was that because he tried to handle it's green earth would it be about that what do you mean why why is he picking that because i think robert craft was a hard get to get in that room and tom probably vouched and said they are not going to come after you you cannot sit in the fucking within a mile radius no but that was that he should have communicated better because Jeff would have never, ever overstepped the line that Tom put down. And he would have made it like, he wouldn't have ever.
36:23So that wasn't communicated clearly because Jeff was so like conscious about it. Yeah, it was. But he was offended, dude. I really do think that he didn't expect it. But I was checking in with Jeff beforehand and he was like, he's ready to go. He wants to do this full throttle. Let's go. No holds barred. Just not the kids. Like he can take it. And I go, Giselle? And he's like, yep, he can take it. I'm like, all right. And if you watch a Greg Giraldo roast compilation, that's all you need to do to watch to know what you're in for. Like, it's going to be that level because we're all watching those and we're all striving for that level of truth and harshness.
37:03And cleverness. And so for him to ever be surprised at anything is just bad planning and you thought you were impervious to it or something, that's insane.
37:12Dana Carvey:Everything we know about Tom Brady as an athlete, his preparation is perfectionism. I mean, he would scream it. So there is a crazy as a fox kind of vibe here. Oh, yeah. I mean, studying him. Yeah. Well, he's very he's more vulnerable. He's more human. They call him the human robot. He's about to sign a three hundred seventy five million dollar deal to be in the booth. So these little assides and jokes, it's all been sort of said out loud in a vicious way. So I think it's a new day in town for him walking down the street. because you kind of feel empathy for him. There was that joke. I think it was Kevin Hart.
37:47Dana Carvey:You went eight and nine and you lost your wife and kids. Oh, yeah. It was worth going eight and nine for. Yes. There was that too. But as far as primality, if you're talking about the male psyche and the male ego and however that went down, we don't know. Yeah. But that made me empathetic toward him. I agree. I think he didn't think that angle of losing your family would be. Family is a rough term. It is. And the truth is he did it. He didn't abandon his kids. He's like a great father. I hope that he was able to just know that that's not true. But wouldn't you not want that out there? Of course.
38:27Just the casual viewer goes, oh, he deserves his kids too. Now that's what I know about him. Like anyone who doesn't, we defined who he is now. You're so right. This is opening up a world in which he might face more criticism. I do know he didn't go to the after party.
38:42Dana Carvey:You know, like fucking would go cry in the corner. You would have water. But, you know, it's divorce with with like a total net worth between the two of them, about a half billions. And their kids are living online every day. They're 10 and 12 or something like that. So they're seeing all these jokes. So I know. But but but then so this they're already acclimated. It's not out of the blue. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, it's just their life. And that was when I said some savage joke about that. I think the eating ass Giselle joke and which I was scared to even look towards him. But then I was just like, you're Tom Brady.
39:18I just I go, you'll be OK. I literally said that because I'm like, you will like it. And you did ask for this. And if you don't know how it's interesting because I wonder I'm I'm going on Kimmel later today and my angle is like, oh, let me read some jokes about me that didn't make it like there's a writer's room and so many jokes. of that, you know, people didn't use about me because I wasn't, people thought, you know, there's more important people to talk about. I'll read those. And so those are coming in right now. And I'm like, oh God. Like, and some of them are from my like close friends who were in that room.
39:51And I'm like, you see this thing about me that I thought I only saw about myself. Like I'm having that moment, but I think that's, I feel like it's a good move because I was going to read roast jokes that didn't make it and just go harder on people. And I'm like, no, what if I go hard on myself and it kind of give myself that Tom Brady treatment that I just dished out. But it's hard, man.
40:10Dana Carvey:It's a great idea. But yeah, it is sort of like, you know, what are people perceiving about me that I don't see? It's so gross. Because you don't even, like, they would never, like the things we said about Tom Brady, we would, you can't even tell him in a, you know, on a Zoom meeting of like, here's the areas that we might go to. Like, no one did that. No one even said, because there are things about me I know that I just already read coming in where I'm like, I really didn't know anyone thought that about me. Like I really thought that was just between me and the mirror when I'm alone. And so you can't get roasted.
40:46Like I think I got asked to be roasted once and it's good money, but I thought I could never handle it. And that's why I never did it. And I only did it as a host. And in the host, you're in the crossfire. And I think some jokes about me got traded because we got that last minute addition and it was too juicy. So everyone jumped on Ann Coulter. Oh God. Yeah. That's great. She became the punch. And later I was told, Oh, you dodged a few bullets because you switched. I'm surprised you did that. Looking. I didn't, I wasn't really friends with you back then, but knowing you now, um, I'm so glad you did, but it was, it's brutal.
41:24It hurts so much. I'm glad that I kind of got brushed over, but there was like one, one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party, I just was kind of a little bit like processing and being like, wait, why did he write like that? Was that a joke or was that from a real place? And like, yeah, yeah, it stays with you a little bit. So it's, you know, but it's worth it because it's the exposure.
41:45Dana Carvey:And then if Brady's my friend, he has a, he's has a shirt on top and underneath he has a t-shirt. And at the end he unbuttons it. And it's just all the topics that were covered. Giselle trainer ass. so he just goes knew it yes knew it but yeah I wouldn't want to do that I mean the early ones the first one one that was big was it Chevy Chase one of the first on the Comedy Central and that one because I don't think Chevy was ready for it I really saw real pain and real wish I wasn't here I think now people would do it I mean the next celebrity is going to do it come on man you'd have to think of the fallas Honestly, what's worse?
42:27Dana Carvey:You do. You have to know. You have to know or don't do it. No one is immune to it. But that's kind of like the person we want to get who thinks there's such hot shit that - There's nothing there. It's everyone. Everyone else can be looked at like that, but not me. And that's kind of what maybe was Tom Brady was feeling. Yeah, that's a good one. But now he knows. Well, Nikki, would you rather be - This is the problem I thought with the Chevy Chase one was Don Rickles and those guys in the old days, as people know, that was the fun roast. Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, huge stars. and they were little pokes.
42:561970s. You know, and they were fun pokes. They're all friends. Chevy Chase, I think it was strangers, hired assassins. So a guy's like, hi, I'm, you know, whoever. By the way, you're a piece of shit. And now it's too mean because you're like, wait, who's this guy? And so is it worse from strangers or is it worse from your friends? If you were roasting me and it was too mean, I wouldn't even know how to look at you after. I would be. Yeah, I felt way worse roasting Jeff Ross and Burt Kreischer. and oh right you said he was disgusting yeah i said he's disgusting to look at and i was gonna lose that joke because i'm just it's so harsh and my friends were being like yeah it's not really you don't even say what he looks like you just say he's disgusting to look at and i go no but that's why it's funny it's just it's so that's the reason i like it's not the reason you're
43:42Dana Carvey:it's intentional to be who did the sea lion uh reference like go back to the ocean oh that was like the only woman you'll ever make wet is the one who helps roll you back into the ocean that was your line right yeah yeah it's another great line it's just a great joke it's and then i had to sit back down next to him and um and and i do love him and i actually do think he looks better like he's looking good reason i love jeff ross and then to tell bert i like oh i'm such a fan of your joke like yeah i obviously i told bert later you know i don't feel that way and and then um but yeah i think it's strangers it's easier to be vicious because i don't know them like i didn't even meet tom before the roast so it was way easier to be right to say sociopathic things to him because I didn't, he's just a person, he's a, just a person on a page to me.
44:27Like he's not real.
44:28Dana Carvey:Isn't Jeff Frost kind of a ladies man or, you know. Yeah, he does really, he, he. I met him once. Yeah. Very young, beautiful woman with him. He's charming and adorable. And yeah, it's, uh, but it felt, it felt in the past I wasn't close with Jeff or I guess it was five years ago that I did the last one. And this time I just, I felt a lot, I guess I'm growing as a person cause I felt way worse this time around saying these jokes than I ever have. I really never even cared before. You know, Tony Hinchcliffe did a good job coming from the crowd. I think coming from the crowd is a great trick. A, no one expects anything from him.
45:04Most people don't know who he is. No bar. Walks out of the audience like, I don't even know what he's doing. And I'm a comedian. I'm like, is he coming on to introduce something? And then he just casually throws a line out of someone. And people are like, who is he? Oh, that's kind of funny. Oh, that's pretty funny. And that's really good. Then he gets like Sam J and he does, nah, whatever that one was. And then it was like, whoa, where does this guy come from? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And then that king, king, king, king, king rhythm. He was amazing. Great job. I was blown away. That was like such a moment for him.
45:40And yeah, to walk while you're doing it, it was just, yeah, the truth is the people who do the best and those are the ones that are just like working the hardest. Tone, like, talking to people afterwards, it's like, what did you do to prepare this? And we were all just so exhausted. The ones, the people that really killed just tighten and tighten and start a month out
45:59Dana Carvey:and just say jokes and edit it down. Thinking about it obsessively working with people all day long and then running it around town five times a night. I mean, I did five sets a night for like a week and a half. It's not even the same too, because you're like, these people aren't on the dais. You're telling the crowd, picture Tom Brady right here, picture, you know, Tom Segura's picture him over there. I'm going to say something. And they're like, okay, it's not quite the same, but you can get a good feel. Yes. Yeah. And I have to explain to a room at the Laugh Factory at 11 p.m. at night, which is mostly Armenians, who Drew Bledsoe is.
46:33So for this joke, you need to know he was injured in 2001, and that's what, you know, like, it's exhausting to set it up. So it was fun to go out and do the roast set for the first time without being like, okay, guys, here's, I set the stage. But it's, you only, But it's just such a weird set to do just one time.
46:53Dana Carvey:Tom sitting there is a whole big. Changes everything. How many minutes did you do, by the way? I don't know how many it ended up being, but it was planned to be. In the clubs, it was seven. So at the forum, it was probably like eight, eight and a half with just the larger laughs. But there was like jokes I put in last minute of like wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the fucking face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick. Like that was insane. And I added that the day before. And that was like a high risk situation. like there were some jokes I was like this isn't even really tested um I don't know if this is gonna it's just I'm so glad it's over I mean don't you guys have those things all the time where it's like so much pressure well it's that kind of pressure I I did observe you there was a wide shot as the show was starting oh there's Nikki and I thought I saw you go big sigh like like just psyching up you probably could see my side from a wide shot at the forum I mean, you can see my body move.
47:47Dana Carvey:I could see maybe they're panning over. I just saw. And I thought that's exactly the frame of mind. I would be in like, OK, here we go. It's also be ha ha ha ha. We have a job to do. I'm this is part of my career. This this audience is enormous. You don't want to think about it because the way everything is stratified. This is still playing on Netflix. It's trending for months. So there was you wanted to go. Ah, this isn't important. I'm just roasting that. Fuck it. But then side you go. No, this is kind of a big thing. I'll ever do. It's the Super Bowl of comedy. Like the amount of, I will never, literally I'll never have a moment in my career like I had yesterday, the day after the roast.
48:23There's nothing I can do as a comedian, hosting SNL, announcing I just had a baby, maybe if I like start dating Taylor Swift, that's the only amount of texts I will get. Like this is, the scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian. Like my special will come out. I won't even get this many texts. It won't ever happen again like this. And so yeah, but I kind of had a feeling about that. So you can't, There's other opportunities that I've gone, wow, I didn't work hard enough. I didn't understand the scale of that. And I fucking phoned it in and I'll never do that again. But this, I just had a feeling this is going to be pretty big.
48:55So you've got to work hard.
49:00Dana Carvey:What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in? I'm just curious. Oh, well, recently I did, I presented at the Creative Arts Emmys that was going to be airing on FXX. So I was just like, I had a lot to do that week. and I was like, I'll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up. And I should have had my own angle. John Mulaney won. I'm presenting it to him. And the thing I did for that was just so not fun. I totally blew it. Totally blew it. And I'm like, oh man, this is a room of all the people in the industry. I squandered it. And I go, okay, lesson that I learned 20 years in.
49:34I shouldn't have learned this this late, but treat these things, treat everything at least, try the best you did because you didn't do the best you could do.
49:42Dana Carvey:Are comedians more disciplined now? Because I know there was always Jerry Seinfeld, at least for me, in the clubs, and he was super disciplined. But a lot of really good comics would get a set, which is maybe like 30, and then they would do crowd work. And they would just develop a drinking problem, and they would go out across the country. And then you'd see him five years later, it's the exact same set. And then we're meeting John Mulaney and Jim Gaffigan and you and Jerry Seinfeld and learning about this, this idea of treating it like a college essay, like every line and, and then going into the club night after night.
50:16Dana Carvey:I don't know. People did that back then. The successful ones did. Yeah, there's a component to being funny that is like just how hard you work. Like you can, we all think it's just, just natural and, and, and by it, and it is, that's what gets you into it. But yeah, you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren't funny at all and are just really just focusing. But I mean, those guys that you listed, like, I don't work like that on my standup. after this roast, I was like, man, if I worked this hard on my, let's sort of, you know, this level that I worked at, I didn't, I did for my special that is out on HBO now, but it's like, I didn't give enough time.
50:55I worked probably about two months on an hour set. And this, I worked for a month on six minutes. So for the next hour, I have to work 10 months ahead of time to get this kind of precision. And that's what I learned from this is like, it's, it takes, it takes a month to get up the six minutes.
51:11Dana Carvey:And that's going to the club, recording, listening to it and changing. And having a script and working with a writer's assistant who's keeping track of, wait, you said this thing on stage, like who's in the room jotting things down. Because I don't like listening back to myself. So I just, for my special, I hired someone to like come on the road with me and keep track of what I was saying on stage riffing. That would be funny. I've never heard that, but that's brilliant. I just was like, why am I not treating my specials like I would treat if I was a host of a show? Yeah, or a movie. Like, I need help.
51:43I want people to punch this up to make it funnier. I want I you know, this doesn't have to be the solo endeavor that I've always thought stand up is that I like about stand up because it's about control. And I can say I did this. No, I didn't have any help. I can take all the credit. But it's so much better if you have help. And it's this and you can take credit because it's the smart way to approach it.
52:02Dana Carvey:It's a good way to do it because you're the character. So if someone writes a joke for you, we know kind of what your style is. I think Kevin Hart a few years back, I was impressed that he'd go to flappers. He'd have just bare ideas, kind of rough ideas. He'd have four or five writers in the room, even though it was packed 200 seats. And he would just do it. And then they would sort of yell out and go, what was that thing again? And then they would do it again. Then they would go in the little room. They'd have that rented out for the night. They compare notes between shows. Do this, do this, do this.
52:33Dana Carvey:So there are ways to treat it so it will move faster. It doesn't have to take two years to get, say you need, well, we had Dave Otel did 35 of stand-up and five of, and it was great. I loved his special. We did too. Nikki, you know, I think when our Rob Lowe roast, it was just a hair early because when you guys get the benefit of TikTok, I wish we had TikTok, Instagram. There's so many things getting passed around after the roast that I don't think we got back then. It was just like, did you see it? Oh, it'll rerun soon. You can watch it in like another month. But A, it's live. So it makes it more of a great idea from Ted.
53:16And B, it gets passed around. So you're going to see it somehow. You're going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever. Tom's best joke about the fucking give me 20 million. I'll admit I did it or whatever. That was wild. Great, great, great. Yes. We should mention how good he did. but I've seen even seen our old clips are being re because of it. They're coming out. Like I just saw, no, like even leading up there, roast clips are just so, um, sticky online. And I've seen a couple of viewers, like they're taking them from now. And like, I'm getting a boost. I'm seeing boosts from like old roasts of just people, uh, regenerating that stuff.
53:51But yeah, I mean the scale of this, it was everywhere yesterday. It was comedy central is not Netflix. Unfortunately. Yeah. Even I did a special on there and it didn't get seen as much as Netflix Did your Comedy Central compare to Netflix? I mean, yeah. Or HBO. Comedy. Yeah, HBO. HBO's not global, which is fine because it's like about, okay, you might not be able to tour internationally. I'm okay. The Congo. Yeah, because you know I'll go there if they want me. I'll do any. I'll go anywhere. I'll take any gig. So I'm kind of glad that, and I don't like traveling internationally. I get stressed out by customs.
54:30So I'm kind of like, okay, I'm good not going. And HBO has a, you know, a classiness to it that I really like. Yeah, for sure. And they're really selective. So, but yeah, there's definitely a difference. Yeah. My Comedy Central one, Dana couldn't even find. Honestly, no joke. I was like, Dana, check it out. But that's why I always tell you. He's like, I got to get online and then I got to join. I couldn't find it. You can find it on YouTube, I think. But that's why, but that's almost good though, because that's why when we're in Vegas and I'm like, you know, at the Venetian, Dave and I have a weekend show.
55:00So you two play the Venetian On a regular basis And what's your next gig
55:07Dana Carvey:I think it's July We got July, we got September July's a little hot They had me play there It was 117 the weekend I was there I think this is the last July Vegas is going to be functional What does that mean? Just in terms of climate change It's getting dicey So this is one of the last summers I think that town will be inhabitable but actually it's kind of all indoors at this point and we'll be there still the crowd is wilted that's the problem yeah they've been out in the sub but it's such a fun show but that's why I'm always like Dave will you just do bits from that comedy set like I know them and you can because no one saw it and I feel the same way about some stuff in the past and I hate it because you go god I did it and I technically am not supposed to use them but I'm like but you can again I work so hard on it and then I'm like and who saw it and then you do one in anywhere else and you go oh these people saw it yeah yeah and it feels like i did it shame but but you know what but with you're the kind of you have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again there's like only a handful of comedians who you want same with you dana like this that you want to see bits again like that it's it's not just the element of surprise that makes it funny i think a lot of my jokes are like it's oh it's that twist a phrase turn a phrase at the end and once you hear it it's like the you know the rabbits out of the hat but for you guys i think i want to hear stuff over and over well i don't know last time you saw me i didn't have anything i just had bare notes it was oh my god you were so funny last time i saw you it was such a treat i'm just doing you know i kind of am a sketch player at a heart so then if i do say paul mccartney and the audience is hot i'll just keep going yeah but i was interested in you guys on the road so who do you flip a coin Who closes?
56:52Dana Carvey:Who opens? Oh, Dave closes. I don't want to touch that. Because he's David Spade. Yeah, he's fucking David Spade. He's my favorite comedian. I start sounding like him by the end of the week. That's the joy of working with him is I absorb his funniness a little bit, and I can spin it. I totally steal his cadence, not even intentionally. It's like when Madonna starts sounding British. You just hang out enough, and you just can't help but be funnier around him. And then I get to – It's, you know, when you're on the road, you just like, after you get off stage, I have to go do a meet and greet and I'm kind of alone.
57:25And, but this, after I get off stage, I just get to go watch my favorite comedian. And like, they're, they're doing stuff that I requested. Like I get to put in requests. And I look at Nikki and mention her half the time. Yeah. She likes a joke. I look over and go, okay. It's so fun. And we got to dinner beforehand and it's just a great weekend. It makes it a weekend I look forward to. Same. And we do it about four or five times a year.
57:47Dana Carvey:Yeah, when you're solo on the road, really solo, yeah, it's a little lonely. You're in the day of the hotel. It's so long. What do I do? So if you do have another person there, the whole energy, you come out. I remember playing. There was playing a big casino with Dennis, and it was starting at 8. And it's one of those things where they come in later. But we peeked out the curtain, and all the chairs were empty. It was like 7.58. And he goes, Christ sakes, Carvey, are we three dog night all this time? It's like, so Dennis. Then they rush in. They're finishing their drinks, and they rush in, and we were okay.
58:26Dana Carvey:But at that moment, you know. We got to let Nikki go. So you got Jimmy Kimmel tonight. What's your first line? You sit down, your first joke. I'll probably thank him for sending me an email because that'll get us into some areas. And I really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn't need to. And he's a busy man. So I'll probably do that. Ingratiate myself. Ingratiation. Good. And the roast is still. Maybe talk about my spray tan, something. I don't know. I always comment on, just try to get it, kick it off. Whatever's going on to settle in. Just settle in. Yeah.
59:00Yeah. Yeah. Make a joke about how I'm trying to dress like Dua Lipa. Like the outfit I'm wearing. I just, I'm, who do I think I am? Something like that. Love it. Okay. We'll find out if you did.
59:09Dana Carvey:I'm going to set my VCR. I watched you last night, Spade, on Kimmel. I guess you were on like a month ago or something like that. And I watched your set to like be inspired because you are always so great on those. And I watched you before Howard too. I did Howard yesterday and I was like, what's the vibe I want to go into with Howard? Like my ideal Howard is a Spade Howard. And I didn't nail that, but I definitely listened to you beforehand to like get in the right state of mind. So all those take work. The talk shows, you got to, those are things you got to plan out a little bit. Absolutely.
59:40People don't realize that. You can't just flounder and just go, I'm so interesting. You're like, nope. You got to have a plan and learn that the hard way as well. Won't do that again. I'll just leave it at this. Thank you for all the nice things.
59:50Dana Carvey:As the business side of my head, my final comment is that you're still penetrating the market, not a sexual bond. And you're growing your brand. And I do think this special coupled with the roast and the spot you were in and how you killed. So it's just kind of cool. You are like your own company and it's just doing very well. Thank you, Dana. That means so much to me. And like, just, uh, yeah, the fact that I know both of you is true. I said it on tiger belly yesterday is, um, is an achievement of my career is like getting to know, um, well, you were my favorite. David had told you that cause David, he would go to dinners and stuff and people would visit.
1:00:29Dana Carvey:And then you were always the easiest person to go to dinner with you once. And then we had such a great talk. And then, yeah, I felt like I like was friends with you afterwards. It just took one dinner and it was, it was amazing. That was one of the best nights of my life. Like it was so cool. I'd love to do it again. I would too. It felt like it today. Thank you guys for having me. Pleasure. Bye sweetheart. Enjoy yourself. Bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
1:01:02Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment and Heather Santoro The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman
From the publisher
Let's revisit this episode with our good friend and roast queen Nikki Glaser!
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