RE-RELEASE - Rob Schneider Pt 2

24:42And then you had the wherewithal to remember to let the audience, as that screaming laugh was coming down, to throw in a like, I think he smells my dog.

24:53Dana Carvey:I think he smells my dog. Yeah, but you had to almost yell it. Yeah, I had to kind of yell it. And the thing was, back to our generation of not breaking, the sketch went so beautifully. I did not want it to be about the prosthetic coming off. Yeah. So by consequence, the battle extended so long that, and I heard someone, Lauren watching the monitor, which we always want to make Lauren helpless. And it was helpless with laughter. But anyway, Rob, what can I do for you? I mean, those are two - You did it. It's the least I can do to pay you back. Why do you do it for me? Two great gifts. When you do, Rob and I both had this problem where, you know, you're writing that first year, even second year for me, and you're putting your stuff in even smaller parts and they go, give that to Dana, give it to Mike Myers, give it to, and you have to keep taking yourself out.

25:42So the one way in is update because you're by yourself. You can try to get something on. That was Sam's key was the Eddie Murphy. Especially the guitar. And your copy machine. But I think the host was Sting the first time he did it. Well, the first time I did it was with Joe. Pesci? No, no, no, Joe. Mantegna. Mantegna. And I remember it was so crushed because I finally had a monster. It was one of the things I said when – because Jim Downey notices a kind of like a goofy, too happy to be here kind of attitude, you know, was this. And he said, you got to do a character called the Lurker. It kind of got us hanging around.

26:17But truthfully – and I gave him credit, but truthfully, the copy machine guy had nothing to do with that really. It was just a guy – the truth of the real – that really came from when we first got there to SNL. Remember before we got the really good office? they gave you there were so many cast members I think 17 at the time that we were all there first time a really big cast there was a giant cast where literally the crawl of the show was actually longer than like the monologue because it was like 17 and also and this and Coaster and the feature player it was like Alan Cleghorn and David and Rod Shetter and Adam Sandler it went on and Melanie Hussle so we were in like a half of a half an office and I had the cooling and heating vent in mind so it was either boiling or freezing in there So I and I have claustrophobia because I have two older brothers and put me in sleeping bags and closets my childhood.

27:06So like I can't stand in closed place. I hate it. And so I would go out into the into the main writer's room. And I noticed when everyone's walking back and forth, you can't be as excited the fourth and fifth time when you see, you know, Kevin Nealon. So Kevin was the one. I said, Kevin. All right. Kevin. Kevin. Just your doors open. And he came and played with the idea. Yeah. What do you want, buddy? What's Kevin? You know, and that was it. It was like, and I said, I had to come up. And then I went to New Orleans for the weekend just to take off some pressure. And I thought, well, there's got to be a reason why people would come into contact with this annoying person.

27:42They didn't want to put him somewhere else. And I just can't. That was it. Simple. But I remember people were laughing so hard at read-through, which was like, to me, the real democracy. There's no such thing as a democracy in show business. But that was the most democratic thing I've ever experienced. if you wrote a sketch it was read in front of everybody and that is pretty damn amazing so if

28:05Dana Carvey:you're murdered with everybody usually that's good and i think that uh i would use the word inexplicability like making copies it's all not a punchline you know it's all the absurdity and the rhythm to it but it's also just kind of a a nerd in an office leaning back trying to be friendly i mean it works on a lot of levels did you comb your hair up in kind of a funny way I always had my hair big by that time because it was just like Elvis-y. Yeah. Elvis-y. And he's like, he was a guy that you also, he's kind of gentle and nobody wanted to hurt his feelings, but he's also annoying. And so it was a nice combination of this vulnerability.

28:41Smiling group. Yeah. Vulnerability is a big one. Yeah. And then people, I remember, I remember that, like, cause I did it with Joe Mantegna and they said, we're going to, we're going to cut it for time. We're going to save it. And I went like, save it. Terrifying. It's my chance. I've waited all these years. I'm 25 I gotta make it now who's this guy the guy I'm a boss the make it guy but how would you not give it to the host I mean every always the trick is if you write something for the host that's the best shot they knew that well if you could perform it better that sing songiness to it yeah I mean I don't know if it's the perfect guy for that right so when did it first kill who was the host Sting Sting well yeah he's got all that came out of the gate yeah and people got into the rhythm early into that sketch when was the first line third time the third line Kevin And they said, hey, what's going on?

29:28I said, all right, Kevin, asking me questions. Kevinator. Kevin. And that one, they laughed.

29:34Dana Carvey:The second one. Kevin. You know, just there's no new information happening. It was continuing to do the conversation. Probably Sting looked like a fucking strikeout. Yeah, right. That's exactly right. That's like a little song, and then there you can laugh. And then they found a spot for it. And then I remember, you know, the great Jim Downey took me aside and said, well, it's the only time, like, they hadn't done it very often in that show. were like, you know, except for, you know, the, you know, the, you're, the weight of you having to open every show for years was they said, we're going to do, um, we're going to do another one of those.

30:05They said, we have a very, very, uh, rare thing here, a character that, uh, that people love. And I said, it was a very rare, very, the rarest of things here. And I said, we're going to do another one. And then he had the idea of the copy machine breaking down. And that was the best one we ever did. Oh, I remember. And that was phenomenal. That was like, because he got to see his whole world crushed. You know, the cop machine guy. How does he react to that? He's just like, well, they're taking the machine out. There's no reason for him to have no one to have contact with him anymore. His world is taken apart.

30:34It was brilliant. So what does he say? You're sad. He just got crushed. Lockluster. And then they brought it back in. But you got to see him just like devastated. Yeah, yeah. And I just remember laughing. But the first time we did it, the read-through, Jim was dying laughing because of the rhythm. It was a rhythm of a rhythm of a rhythm. Yeah. And that by the time it was like, and there was just a pummeling of it. And he was dying laughing. Great to make Jim laugh. This is the one that's going to get on. And Jim would give it up. That was the key to it. He was interested in us as young guys and I think fed off the energy.

31:07But also, if he found something funny, he was very generous. You know, that wasn't always the case with people, you know, because, you know, like, you know, Jay Leno was like, was another influence. So like when Bob Fisher was a manager, he said, and I was a young comedian. He said, you're going to pick up Jay Leno. He's got a gig in San Jose. You're going to take him with the radio. And I know you know San Francisco. You grew up here. You're going to, you know, like the back of your hand, take him wherever he wants to go. So Jay Leno, which is a great Jay Leno story. That's an old one. You got to hear this one.

31:36But so I pick up Jay. He says, have a sign. Jay's very wise. Nice, clean car. And so he picked him and said, hey, you drive me to the gang. Yeah. I said, yeah, okay. I mean, you know. So we're driving and I'm not saying anything. I'm just driving there. And he said, you know a good Chinese restaurant? I said, I know the best, Mr. Leno. So I took him to the place that my dad knew was for wealthy people, where they would go. We would go to a different place. He said, just as good food, not as expensive, just as good as that place. So I took him to that place. And he said, well, come on and eat. I don't eat by myself.

32:07Because I wasn't going to go and sit with him, but he did. And he said, so what are you, a comedian? And I said, yes. Embarrassing. He said, well, how much time you have? I said, I've got about eight minutes. He said, good. You know, most comedians ask, how much time? I got two hours. Who wants to hear two hours of comedy material? You either have five minutes of kills every time, everywhere you go, any place. Oh, you don't have anything. He's right. That's what you got to get. That's true. And so he said, work on it. So I spent the next six months just only trying to get that killer five, and that was really helpful.

32:33But the Jay Leno story, which is really funny, around that time, he was doing this bit on Letterman Co. He said, what's your beef, Jay? Let me tell you my beef. Let me tell you this. And he would do this bit, and it was a monster. You know, like you and I opened for him. yes in 1985 the two of us both of us okay because i did open for him a few times you open for i was the opening act you would come in and you did the you did a half and then he did an hour okay and we both sat back and went like wow this guy just got it was we have our killer bits that this guy has every bit is a killer bit yes that's what we said to each other we're watching it was at the um

33:08Dana Carvey:the palace of fine arts yes yes yeah and he was like a professional comedian in the sense that every bit would flow to the next bit and he was tagging his McDonald's hey McDonald's trainee how'd he be a McDonald's trainee? let me get the milkshake for you and it was all killing and it was like you get to hand that Buick 1955 Buick into the kind of car you run into a Toyota you just hose it off you run into it and you hose it off and there you go you keep driving and he's smoking a pipe backstage and I got off maybe before he went on a pipe? he always had a pipe hilarious for the early days and goes hey you need more jokes Mr.

33:41Dana Carvey:Carvey he was kind of right because I'm just doing chopping broccoli chopping broccoli So I assumed Jay would be like, you know, yeah, I need more jokes. And he rode a motorcycle onto the stage. You bought broccoli. Yeah, he always was on a motorcycle. Motorcycle onto the stage. You bought broccoli, that's it. There's a funny thing that happened, though. There was a comedian who did an impression of Jay early. Because we can all do it. I'm like third generation Jay Leno. Third generation. We all got that. It's like, you know, once somebody breaks it and then you can figure out how to do it. Yeah, yeah, everybody has it.

34:10So there was a guy who did an early impression of Jay. And what he did back then, remember, there's like a comedy magazine or a comedy list of when your spots would you, you know. So if you were like Jay Leno or Jerry Seinfeld, you could buy a whole page, which is like, you know. Just for laughs, newspapers? Yeah. And then they would promote and it would hand it out to the different comic book. And he's playing this auditorium, Civic Center. Yeah, I remember Jerry was another one way ahead of us. Yeah. And they were pretty promoting and big, you know, whatever. and so but what happened was there was a comedian who saw where Jay was playing so he would call up and say and he says Jay yeah you're gonna I'm doing my you're gonna you know it's kind of one thing that when I show up at the airport you're gonna have to have 25 ,000 in cash at the airport when you pick me up and so Jay would fly to this place and they go Jay thanks for coming and here's your cash you go what's this he said it's 25 ,000 you asked for I didn't ask for 25 ,000 what are you talking about who answered I'm not and it's like and then And then he would go to another place, you know, and the guy would call ahead and say, listen, this is Jay, yeah, before I need to, oh my God, that's so cool.

35:16You're going to have a, I need the$25 ,000 in a brown paper bag, and you have it at the airport. You got to do it or I'm not going to do the gig. And so the guy would show up, hey Jay, what is this? $25 ,000. I went$25 ,000 in there. Yeah, Jay, you asked her, you know, $25 ,000 in a brown paper bag. He said, hey, what the hell's going on here? Hand me tell you what you want. It's Japanese, guys. I got to go down here. And so what he did was he called, he finally figured out what was going on here. So he called and said, listen, if you get the guy, he calls up and says he's me, just get his number.

35:46And then he got his number, this comedian who was doing it. And then he found out the guy's name. And when he, and the best part of the story, he was going to, he was auditioning for Jim McCauley for The Tonight Show. He said, let me know when he's going on. So before they bring him up, Jay said, let me just go up and do some time. So Jay goes up.

36:09Dana Carvey:There goes Jay. Does 45 minutes of his killer shit at the Comedy Magic Club before this guy goes on and blows out the room. And Jay could blow out any room he wanted and blew it out until there's just nothing left. And then this guy went on after and just ate it. Didn't get the shot. Wow. I plead guilty in 78 after Mork and Mindy, I did a couple. Hello, this is Robin. I need a million dollars cash. That was a joke. That was a joke. That was a joke. That was a joke. I need a million dollars. Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break, all right? Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple.

36:50We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts. So let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

36:56Dana Carvey:Snapple Real Fact 455. Movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them. I've heard that. Snapple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day. Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league. That's interesting. Snapple Real Fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm. So, grab a Snapple. Take a second. Enjoy the moment. Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day.

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38:47Dana Carvey:I just want to mention a few names of our pals. And you can join in because they're listening to this. From the old San Francisco, of course, the great Bobby Slate and Mike Pritchard, Jake Johansson, Milt Abel, Larry Bubbles Brown, Mark Pitta, Bob Sarlop, Mark McCollum, and many, many more that came up in that early scene with us. Let me see that list. And Robin Williams was the godfather of that scene. Robin Williams was such, I mean, before the internet, before cell phones, Robin would show up at the Holy City Zoo, and then people on the street would hear about it. And the next thing you know, it's packed.

39:22The people would be running to get in there. And then he'd do an hour at least. Oh, yeah. And then he'd leave. And if the drunk people stayed, then we'd have an audience. And so more times than not, the audience would come to see him. And hopefully he'd show up. And more times than not, he did. Because he was just addicted to it and loved it. And so we had a scene thanks to him. There was like at one point on one street, on one block, there were three places to do stand-up. Who's that? Last Day Saloon had it on like Mondays or whatever. Holy City Zoo, Clement Street and 6th. 6th and Clement. And then there was a place across the street that would do it on like Tuesdays.

40:01Dana Carvey:Yeah. A bar, you know. We were there pre-clubs. The clubs, first club got built in 79, proper club, that was the punchline. The punchline, that was like a real punchline. When you did that, they paid you$25 a little bit more than that. That was amazing. But like, and also just seeing like, you know, there's Sarlotte. Sarlotte had like a real job in show business. Bob Sarlotte. He was like on TV, which is like incredible. He was a sidekick for Letterman on Letterman's morning show. On the morning show. That was like ridiculous. But he had like would do spots on TV and was always smooth and a totally professional guy.

40:34Yeah, great, great comment. Kind of like had that kind of the charisma of like a Leno who would just settle in. The audience could be totally relaxed watching him. And then like Slayton would murder and do really edgy material that like and get away with it and just get to the point where the audience is pushing back and dance around it and make jokes off not apologizing for it. And that was a really very instructive way. And he would destroy a room. Literally, you have to learn what a headliner is. You have to learn what an emcee is or a middle act. And you see Dana Carvey. He's like, well, that's a superstar.

41:12But then you see Bobby Slayton. You have solid headliners. Bobby Slayton was a solid headliner. He's going to work everywhere. That's what you got to do. but that wasn't my style because my style was more offstanding and uncomfortable so I was good for 20 I would be good for 10 15 20 was interesting and different bring the audience to me but that's not a headliner a headliner you gotta go out and you gotta pummel and that's different

41:33Dana Carvey:but in the last 15 years when you've come back to stand up you've done several specials you've done great you know you've become a great great stand up you have to change and adapt because you also have to adapt to what their expectations are yeah once you're famous you're famous cupping machine or whatever they've seen your movies and also all the movies let's see we mention them quickly I was gonna say if we're gonna wrap up Precious San Francisco you also did S.F. Larry Bubbles Brown S.F. Larry Bubbles Brown these guys didn't move to L.A. that was the problem yeah yeah and they became San Francisco treats you know like famous San Francisco comics but you have to make the sacrifice and come down and eat shit for a while and audition for a thousand but a lot of people's like they didn't want to mess with how comfortable things were I never understood that like making that your thing because I think it was Rick Overton who said hey the cameras are down there buddy you know let's go to where the cameras are you have to Rich Shiner hey did it it says here you dated Julia Sweeney I don't remember that no I don't know why that stuff like I would never you had a phrase called you can do it is that true well that was I didn't understand that Adam asked me to be in one of his early movies he asked me to be in like to play the part that Ben Stiller did in Happy Gilmore because of this playing this you and Adam have a chemistry and David you guys are part of that world there was a thing where there was a comfort level where like and I finally told Adam I said listen I said stop he said you gotta put other famous people in these movies you don't need and I said you don't need to hire me for that I'm telling you you could hire Nick Nolte and he finally did and now he's not hiring me he took me up on it but the but like hire people and do these other you know and But you beat the shit out of that.

43:17Dana Carvey:That's what I mean, doing a great thing with that phrase. A rhythm. So the thing was, he said, there's one line and you can do it. And it says, you can do it. And it was actually Hurley who came up with it. And I said, well, what does it mean? He said, just come out. We'll figure it out. It's a rhythm thing. And I'll go like, all right. So we went out and it was a sing-songy thing of just the guy showing up. Yeah. So there's the fun of the audience knowing that there's some back history with Adam and I. Something's happening in the movie. And I said, I'll find a way to do it. Just do it in different ways.

43:45and they, you can do it. So it was like, it was just goofy. It didn't make sense. It was a guy who was not.

43:53Dana Carvey:Inexplicable. That's why it lasts. Inexplicable jokes like Chopin Broccoli or you can do it. Just go on for decades. It's a different read. It's something that it doesn't need to be performed that way. No one in the history of the world would say it that way. It's not necessary. It's unnecessary. It's five questions. Who is that guy? What is he doing there? How did he get there? When did he come with his catchphrase? why is he yelling it when you can get to five questions that's a keeper and auditions yelling a celebrity yelling a shit joke yeah robbie what's the shit joke he's like i got chunks of guys like you in my stool oh there you go phil phil hartman yeah three three but the five that's pretty good so that was like and let's do it in different ways and he kept adam had a genius thing of like he would keep the audience they'd always get a laugh in there and even when it was like a serious part in like the water boy when he's upset and he throws a baseball out the window and he hits the Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel and he got a laugh and carried them out of that scene.

44:50So he really knew how to keep the laughs going in there. Keep them going. Absolutely. But if you go in auditions and then like when we were doing movies and you would have people come in for auditions we're on the other side of it we're casting people and when everyone does a line the same way and then someone does you can do it you go oh and then you go have them come back because that stands out. If you're not going to give it the most perfect reading that everyone's going to give, there's something to that.

45:21You've got to bring something to it that's not on the page. Bring something that's not on the page. When we did the wrong Missy, there was nothing in that, I mean, truthful, there's nothing in that role in wrong Missy. Wrong Missy for you. Nothing. But even Adam called me and said, I don't want you, this is a role, but it's not big enough. You don't need to do it. There's nothing. What was the character that in wrong Missy? He asked me to do this thing, and then he called me up at the last minute, and he goes, we really want you to do this. And I said, okay, I'll do it. And I said, but it's my wife's birthday.

45:48He said, nah, just bring her. And so we ended up, my wife came, and she was happy to go to Hawaii. And it was a fun gig, because I'm just showing up doing a small role at a small time. You always score with the role. Everyone's happy to have you there, because you're just coming in and helping out. You were scoring. And I said, well, let me figure this out. And I called Stanley. I said, what if I do it as an Aussie guy? And he said, no. And you know when Adam is like, no. What are you doing? You know, just do the. You know, he's already. Just fucking do it. He was stretching. Just do the fucking.

46:20Just wait. It's like. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. We love you, Adam. And so, but then you got to find the thing. And I said, well, I said, if you start crazier to beginning in the beginning of the scene, and then you got a place to really go if you were crazy. And I said, get me sunburned. and I was like overweight and burned and fat and bald. And I said, this is going to be great. I always commit to that shit. And they gave me a hand that was missing a few fingers. And I said, that young director, young directors, you know, you be gentle with the young directors, but you also have to like, you can't listen a hundred percent because they, you know, if you went 30 movies and you go, I really think this is a better idea.

46:57Cause he was like, when you see that shark down there, you tell him, you know, and he's like, you tell him I'm going to get, I'm going to get you. The attitude was to be angry. And I thought, well, let's do the opposite of that. Just put the camera on. Keep it a nice shot. I said, when you see that shark down there, you tell him, what's up? As if he's happy to see him again, even though he ate my hand. And it's just funnier. It's a rhythm that you don't expect. It's positive. It's always good to go there if you can. And when the guys get eaten by a shark, he said, you got to cut back up to us dancing.

47:28That was a disco song. And she's just got to do it. And he said, we don't have time. And he said, just give me one take. I said, David's in the shark tank on the boat. I want to hear him. And he said, we don't have music. We don't have time for the money. We don't have music. And I said, let me talk to my music guy, and I'll give you a piece in 30 minutes. That'll be free. Yeah, public domain. That's awesome. I called my composer, John Hunter in Austin. I said, dude, can you just give me a favor? I'm doing this movie. It's Happy Madison. David Spade's the star. We just need a disco song that they can just have for free.

47:59You, Farley, Swartzen, just are dancing and playing against me getting eaten by a shark. Yes. And he said, well, we only have time for one take. I said, I'll take it. Yeah, take it. And so he did the one with the crane coming up while we're dancing to this disco song. Perfect. And he said, it's something to cut to. You're going to want it. Yeah. If we don't have time, just do it. So we got one. Yeah. And that's what they used. So that's what you kind of hoped for. But what voice did you settle on? I just, I saw the movie. They wouldn't let me do a, sorry, what I ended up doing was like a really low kind of guy.

48:27They didn't want to do Robert Shaw. I tried to go out to her cage. What I wanted to do as a guy who's an alcoholic and gravelly voice and low. To the opposite of you. Yeah. Because that was interesting. That's good. And then you get like, and I had nothing really there. So you're just curious. What do I got? I said, I'm the diving instructor. This is my boat. Give me this. This is my fucking boat. I'm going to charge the boat. He said, give me some stuff. And the prop guy said, what do you need? I said, give me the snorkel and the respirator. I said, does it need to work? He said, of course it needs to work.

48:55Give me the goddamn thing. And he said, please turn around. give me something to do and so I started playing with it well between takes what's funny and it was making noise yeah funny noise and so we just and David and I were working together so part of the rhythm it's like a vape pen it's a rhythm we were fucking laughing yeah so and so I got this thing and all of a sudden and I go back and so and he's about to get into the water and as he's walking I'm walking with him with this thing it's and I put it and so right before I'm putting it on him and spraying it in the water and then I put it in my mouth and then I and it did so you got everything and David it's like now I'm supposed to put that in my mouth and David would play that and I knew he'd go with it I remember we were rehearsing that and I go Rob because it was so funny I go do it more and so you were going like lick lick and I'm just staring at you and then you finally go and then you stick it and you go and I put that in my mouth okay

49:49Dana Carvey:yeah but that got us out of that scene big laugh to get to the next scene funny with the sound off yeah you know just that's all funny and did it do eight funny with the sound off. 100 billion minutes or how many minutes? 55 million views that first month and then still top 10 in history. Like a billion minutes of watching. I don't know. Back then it wasn't minutes. It was just global smash. Funny with the sound turned off. Yes. We had an acting coach Yvonne Chubbock. Yeah, she really helped. That's huge. Roy London was the first one and then when he passed away Yvonne Chubbock took over and she would say do the scene again but without the words.

50:23So everyone knows from your physicality what's happening. Yeah. Because you're communicating with your body, aren't you? You should be. That's I Love Lucy. Yeah. That's the great sense of chocolate. She would also tell us to use a lot of props. Really work the room. Like, it's more fun if you're doing business. Get stuff. And that's hard to do because you're acting. You got to remember your lines. You got to match everything. But get it. Get the stuff. And like for Deuce Bigelow, the thing about that was like -

50:45Dana Carvey:Deuce Bigelow. My favorite thing about that, I was flying to Australia to promote the movie. And I'd never flown anywhere to promote anything. So this is like the first starring role in any movie ever. where I was like the guy on the poster. It's like, it's cool to be on the poster and there's a billboard of you. And it was, and I thought, wait, let's just have a big name. Walt Disney Company did it. And it was for Joe Roth. And I said, this is a funnier thing. It's like me naked on the side of a bus, you know, like the Burt Reynolds thing. And I was in really good shape back then. He said, this would be funny.

51:14And I said, no. And they said a very interesting thing. He said, posters are to not lose people. Don't give people a reason to not want to go see it. Oh, I don't give them any edge on that. And I said, holy crap. And so I'm flying to Australia because the movie did really good in America. And then you hear this laughter. It's hard to hear anything on a plane. But you hear this booming laughter on a plane. And I go back there. And they were watching my movie without the sound. Because you had to spend money to get movies back then.

51:42Dana Carvey:Really good sign. Yes. Really good sign. I said, this is going to do really good everywhere. But they didn't pay the$10. They were just watching the movie. Because they can understand it by the physicality. Because that's the way you're going to train. You can laugh harder when it's funny with the sound off. You're not waiting for punchlines. Yeah. You can just relax. And sometimes when you're doing things and they don't, it's really funny. And then they could ruin it with sound. I'm not behaving badly, TV series. The funniest thing I did in the whole series was very frustrating because the English show was so funny.

52:09It's the only reason I agreed to do it. A sitcom you do it in the night. Just do the same thing. A sitcom on NBC. And instead of making it just doing the same episodes that they did in England, they watered them down as like men apologizing badly but there was one really funny thing was that there was i'm going to get attacked by an owl and it was in the way back and they're foreground i'm just in the in the background where there's people in the front which that's hilarious yeah you could be the funny they said well what do we have we don't we can't have a real owl and it's just get a stuffed owl just get something and i'll pretend it's attacking to me so i grabbed the beak right here and i did this and i am spinning around and i'm going out of frame coming back in coming through I'm hitting it hitting it and then and so and that was the and then they put and it was it was the funniest thing I had done on that show and then they put like when they when they came on the air the the cowardly producers decided to put squawk squawk squawk squawk which killed it yeah because it brought too much attention to it but I ended up redoing that for another movie basically that idea of the far background and going back with an animal

53:15Dana Carvey:that's the essence of comedian and trying to be in movies and wanting to control the rhythm. And Sandler told me early on after his success, he goes, Carvey, they don't, meaning the directors. He did a couple of movies where Adam didn't get to be Adam. He goes, they don't know what they're doing, Carvey. They don't really know. It's not their fault. They don't know where to put the camera or whatever. So that kind of triggers me a little bit because I had experiences just like that. Because that's a survival mechanism. You know what? Yeah. It's got to be. We know the funny part. Just let us do that.

53:44and then if you get anybody who's going to be a director and they usually put us with commercial directors because they know where to put the camera and know how to work and they know what's scheduled and blah blah blah but they also have the ego of like no let's do it my way right

53:55Dana Carvey:and then you go but this is what I wrote well Penelope Spheres in Wayne's World 1 was my best director because I'd have a Garth thing and she'd go what are you going to do here and I'd show her and her only direction was could you do it 10 seconds faster that was it no other direction but that's actually good because I already had the character. And the thing is about doing it faster and cutting out the pauses is instructive. That's fine. Okay, I can do it a little shorter. I used to hate when Dennis Dugan would say, can you do it without the pauses? Can you just do it without the pauses? Just do it tighter without the pauses.

54:30And I said, can't you just cut it that way? And he said, what if I don't want to cut it? And then he's right.

54:35Dana Carvey:Yeah, because a single shot is best, ideally, unless the edit is a comic, a laugh point. That was the thing, John Cleese, He's such my hero and like... Genius. Genius. And he said, you know, look at the scene in Life of Brian, also voted as the number one comedy of all time in England. Now, you know, you bastardize our language, but for English, the traditional. Anyway, it's all... And he said, this is the number one. This is the voted, not by me, of course, but by people who, you know, the public. So anyway, so he said, look at the scene when Michael Palin and the guards are going in to, you know, they said, don't let anyone in, blah, blah, blah, unless it's him.

55:15And they know, and it's the guards. And they said, and then, so, okay, let anyone in. No, no, no, no, no. Don't let anyone in no matter what. And it's a very intricate thing. But it's a single master shot. And it requires a lot more rehearsal, but it's worth it. Let the audience decide where they want to look. Because so much of direction, and television direction, and we're in an era of television. Digital cutting. Cut here, let them look at this. Cut here, look at them. Do this movie. I don't really speak Spanish that well, but I just directed a film in Mexico and the editor, who's a great guy, but he cuts to this and then punch in on this and it's like, let the audience figure it out.

55:50Two shots are great.

55:52Dana Carvey:Where they're looking, let the audience decide who they want to look at. I feel like when I'm watching some stand-up specials, I'm in an invisible flying chair. Like I'm flying in the chair, seeing the guy waist up and all of a sudden I'm way in the back and then I'm right up on his face and like, you know, just let it breathe. that cowboy shot hold that a lot don't over that's the most important shot for stand up in those specials I don't know was it Steve Allen I mean it just became the classic shot to give a monologue on a talk show the audience has to feel comfortable they have to be comfortable with you and if they're I always tell them in movies it's like you know and I tell this because I was just working with a great crew in Mexico and I said listen I said here's the thing and I would tell the first AD and you know because we were getting along in days and I said you know what people never say, I got to go see that new movie.

56:39I heard it was on time. You know, I get it. And I tell the cinematographer who wanted to do this shot. And I said, I said, you know what they never hear? You never hear an audience. People say like, I got to go see that new movie. I hear the camera moves are excellent. I heard it came in under budget. All right, Rob, thanks for coming by. I guess that's it. I loved it. Rob Schneider,

56:58Dana Carvey:all time great on SNL. Huge cultural influence in American comedy. Fake movies. In the last 30 years. and just really shared a lot of great times with this young man. David, we're friends, right? Yeah. I like all my youngsters. I'm so proud of both of you. Thank you. We hope we make you proud. All right, Rob. Thanks, Rob. Peace out. Love you guys.

57:23All right, listen, if you're enjoying The Fly on the Wall, of course, hopefully you are, click follow. We don't want to be desperate, but obviously smash that goddang button on your favorite podcast app. Smash. Leave a review, a good one. Leave a five-star rating, nothing else. Whoops. And maybe even share an episode with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe, Dana. What do you think?

57:47Dana Carvey:I'm going to tell you this right now. Hit me now, believe me later. Fly on the Wall, believe it or not, is presented by Odyssey. And executive produced by, hold for it, Dana Carvey and David Spade. Or David Spade and Dana Carvey. We don't write this stuff. Heather Santoro, Greg Holtzman, and Leah Reese Dennis. The show is edited by Evan Cox, with production support from Phil Sweetech. Talent production and booking by Sophia Lepore.