Remembering Rob Reiner + All Kinds Of Life Hacks

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2:51Yeah. Fly on the wall. Dana and Spade. and we are about to tell you well dana's going to tell you the one thing that will get you through

3:00Dana Carvey:this christmas holiday one thing there's just only one thing in a few minutes i'm going to tell you what it is and if i can't remember david's going to tell you yeah that's right i mean look you've got a new um elf santa in the background what do you mean oh my god look at that can you sing a little bit like say sing jingle bell see if we can get it moving that and bum bum jingle bell jingle don't just move him keep going jingle bell rock jingle bell this and jingle bell that there you go oh look at that

3:38Dana Carvey:oh wow is that ai that's too good I know you might be able to hear this a little bit oh we're not allowed to play music probably oh this whole this whole show is scrapped thrown in the garbage oh this is um he's just gonna put the mic over there and there will be no music when we do that you barely hear it if we're sued i mean this thing has been around with like for 25 years never broke put it in a box throw it up in the attic and everyone who i send them to people and they flip for them because they really are cheerful he looks like he's flexing is he on nad yeah he is a little he's built put it that way he's got quads do they want santa to be ripped now yeah it looks like he we should put little barbells yeah little green ones yeah oh he's moving again he's yeah this is how he feels it's almost like a dog this is how he's celebrating our christmas podcast dude i have shades on dana because i feel like I got sick and I'm trying not to get ahead of sick because oh you know what it could be those goddamn gooners that came over the other day Heather oh that oh young people sometimes get it are asymptomatic so they can be carriers they don't feel anything I had Aiden Ross who's a streamer kick stream I literally I sound so old I'm not old I'm young but the stream and twitching and those things i don't know it's the only thing like lazier than doing a podcast if that's possible they just walk around and talk so there's no real point there's no real like let's get to this you know if you go on ellen i think i did it because i met this kid aiden he's very nice to me at the ufc fight and then he said can you come on i'm like i should do something for the younger people just to say when they say who's that then they go oh he was on that guy's stream well right yeah here's here's the thing so i saw a youtube clip of quentin tarantino talking about rio bravo which is a movie with john wayne oh that looked like a real person right there heather missed it that looked like a real well have a good christmas you sons of bitches you know but anyway Anyway, he talked about movies being good hangs.

6:06Dana Carvey:And so good hang is like they become your surrogate friends. So the only thing I can think about streaming 12 hours a day, which is a workload, is that people have you on the background and you're like their surrogate friends or their kind of their friends. And they don't have to be entertaining. They just have to be real. I think it's the realness of just saying this kid's good. He might have some talented guy. He knows how to do this situation. So he... There I go. Is this Santa again? I'm just trying to get him started. I don't know if that was worth my riveting story. No, Aiden is... He's jumping.

6:44Aiden is clever. Doesn't he buy a$30 million home? No, he's a rich dude. I saw him walking on Jake Paul's house. They just go... They know every babe. They know every streamer hottie. It's like this world of these people come on their show and they have like fights and they get angry and they clip it out they clip that thing out that night heather right it was just clippity doodah uh-huh whoever's house they shot it in it was really really a cool house this shithole because i go i don't know where to go because you want to walk around the grove and i'm like just like a bunch of us we're just gonna just

7:20Dana Carvey:stop and talk to people and go into the gap i couldn't see where it would go or be funny unless i jumped in the fountain but uh i showed him around stuff i said i thought it was funny the way you were busting them in a very kind of gentle way yeah like you did the store you did the tall door stick which i've heard and they didn't quite well what do you what do you mean yeah i did about seven of those and they all were like huh but i took them down in here to see fly on the wall oh they're all impressed we're you know i don't know well there's regular television there's podcasting hey that's easy you turn on a mic and go for it and then there's live streaming where you literally hang out you just hang out with your friends you know puka nakua so he did puka right after me and puka didn't really get it either because he was saying they go what about the refs he's like they all cheat he was just talking like he's talking the guy behind him with the cameras like this is gold so he got puka kind of accidentally just bullshitting and saying stuff about refs and uh i saw a clip where they're like i don't know if we're gonna find him but we'll see so that's the danger of live right so we can do a live one are they sneaking up on people and sort of surreptitiously recording them or are they asking permission i think they have like a main person so they my house the next thing we've got puka they're in town they do me they do puka and so i didn't know that he didn't name drop that one on me i would have liked that one i would just say that puka is a shell of his former self yeah not bad right i remember that movie puka pete i was a guy that got lost that's right that's why i made master disguise because puka pete wet the bed yeah i i pulled out a puka pete two weeks before we shot that's unheard of we already built all the sets i think they knew it was just not going the right way and they were changing it i'm like i don't it's getting overwhelming i don't think it's that funny anymore it's turning into like a movie they pitched me and then suddenly my movie's turning into that movie and it's not the same i was like i knew there was something up because the ease of how they let me out of it instead of going you're gonna you gotta pay us well then i had a read through they go oh fred and david's movie isn't going but there's a hundred person crew and all this stuff so they go well we'll give this dog a chance so you know one of the executives i heard him lean in and go this is not gonna work you know but i had an eight-year-old boy sitting across from me i'm going you like oh yes you like it just crushed and then we had to make the movie we had to start making the movie in like a week but the script needed a lot of work so we had to rewrite it in the trailer the entire time i mean i kind of still like that way sometimes we are prepping these movies for a year or two it's just so much overthinking even bus boys we're looking at it we're cutting jokes like that one's stupid now right well no one's seen it yet so maybe it's not stupid uh that is a problem because you can just edit it to to uh to a slow death yeah you know oh cut that go over there yeah we haven't showed it to a crowd so if you show it to a crowd you start to go oh the jokes i love bomb and then this other weird cutaway got the biggest laugh so you learn a lot from showing you but we all right so i calm this guy down or keep been moving no calm down because people are more into that than the show i know i am well i don't know if i like the snapping that's like me snapping it's a little creepy yeah because it works oh wait we had the ufo guy on last week do you do you have this picture can we show it um i sent it to you did you send it to heather or greg oh my god i sent it to you to send to me isn't heather yeah that's all right this is what this is real man right now so basically up where i am is sorting the boondocks not saying exactly where it is but um it's in california and it um the night sky had some weird anomalous things and so we we took pictures and there was no nothing on the news no explanation and they're just these these synchronistic lights just sitting there and it was too well you'll if you can get it on the program and have you ever heather downloaded a picture but it comes in your camera roll when dana took the picture so it's like a week ago so you gotta i always think it didn't work i go oh it worked but i gotta go scrounge for it oh oh when i took it is what the way it does it well you got the new phone that's up that's that doesn't make any sense heather heather dana when did you take it like a week ago yeah oh i got it yeah okay and then if anyone on this podcast can explain it i'll i'll buy him one of these santas everyone thinks we're ufo crazy people but we only did one before that was his career and we got this new guy his show's number one i love that stuff there's some weird weird stuff going on out there is that weird a weird one stuff well you know the i mean yeah it's we all want i mean spielberg's now making a movie about it which i know which is great yeah okay here it is so i guess you could people can see it put the light up on there so what the fuck is that it's not and it's it's fixed for a while i don't even know what happened to it but it it's sort of you know what is it can someone tell us right right above our property you know it's not balloons he lives out where it's very clear super dark it doesn't have the poison fog like we have in la right now no we don't believe in fog up here we believe in dogs uh but this one dane it reminds me of the lights over phoenix because everyone thought they were in a row and then they saw light way over here and they go oh it's a triangle that that whole thing is the edge of a ship right either that's some government project you know or something like that or yeah it's not just random stars in the sky so it either has to be an organized kind of thing or not but i didn't have any explanation for it in my head Were you scared?

14:03Dana Carvey:I was intrigued. What? Do we have video? Do you have video? Do you want me to send it to Greer? No. Should we send it to Dr. Greer and him analyze it? Yeah. Send it to Dr. Greer. Okay. Heather. I don't know if we'll get it back by press time. Yeah.

14:25Dana Carvey:Summer. What do you think about summer? Coming up. It sneaks up on me. Yeah, I know. It is coming up. I'm trying to juggle plans, juggle meals, and enjoy the weather. Instacart's made that easier. I can sit outside, build my car with everything I need for the week, not have to step away from what I'm doing. I've been leaning on delivery through Instacart for meal prep especially, David. Like getting fresh veggies, proteins, even those perfectly ripe avocado. Oh, oh, oh. I set my preferences once and it's so seamless. It saves me a lot of time and makes sure I'm getting all the quality I want. And the convenience is huge.

15:10You know, when I'm busy or just don't feel like making a store run, I can order in the morning and have everything ready for the same day and sometimes in as fast as 30 minutes. It just fits in my schedule instead of the other way around. Instacart brings convenience, quality, and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacar app now and get groceries how you like. And do it instantly. Hey, before we jump back into the show, let's take a quick break, all right? Not just any break. This is a refreshing break with Snapple. We all know about Snapple's iconic real facts.

15:45So let's take a minute to go over some of my faves.

15:48Dana Carvey:Snapple real fact 455. Movie trailers used to come on at the end of the movies, but no one stuck around to watch them. I've heard that. Snapple Real Fact 831. Adults laugh only about 15 to 100 times a day, while preschoolers laugh an average of 300 times a day. Snapple Real Fact 1983. The first player drafted to play pro football never played in the league. That's interesting. Snapple Real Fact 1274. Kickball is referred to as soccer baseball in some parts of Canada. Hmm. So grab a Snapple. Take a second. Enjoy the moment. Because let's be honest, this might be the most refreshing part of your day.

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17:49Dana Carvey:And they really want you in there. Like you gotta do it. You gotta do it. Oh my God. How do they say it to you? How do they say it kind of casually? You might think about this or I have a good therapist. Yeah. I actually been going to a therapist. It's great. Do you ever been to a therapist? I go, I have, you know what? You should use my guy. Great. And I'm like, I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you right there. stop you right there you it takes 18 pills just to get you to leave the house is this the best possible you right now i don't know the best possible you that's a great figure of speech be the best possible you i would say that therapy i don't know if people are you know super nutball but in in the narrow frame of it what are your patterns of behavior oh my god that are a little stuff to truck like for me being you could say he's a people pleaser he's codependent or you can say he's a nice generous person so you could go with either way but um so there's things like that where you could like you specifically would have to work on will you tell me later yeah dame is like oh do you want to know there's a list in my car i scribbled some things i'm ask you one question and i want a one second answer are you self-actualized oh do i have a good idea of how people see me i don't think so well is that what you uh yeah i guess um have you splurged on the urge to emerge oh boy i've spluted on my laptop the uh therapist i went to for five years yeah they just went jesus She just basically, what was great about her is she just says, life is a shit show.

19:44Dana Carvey:You know, lower your expectations. I'm really scared to tell one person all my secrets. Because I heard that happened in Scientology. You clear your head of all your secrets. And then there's a rumor that they can use that against you if you leave. Because they film it. And they're like, okay, I guess everybody wants to know how you had a threesome with two other dudes. Yeah, I like Tom Cruise so much, but here's an interesting thing. In Hollywood, there's a place called the Celebrity Center. It's one of their campuses. Oh, yeah. I've been there. I've been there. So, I had an Irish cousin from Dublin, just a very honest, innocent man, and he was walking around LA.

20:29Dana Carvey:So, he went up there. Oh, what is this called? The Celebrity Center. So, he was in there for about 45 minutes and they're talking to him and he said, I've got to tell you something right now. If I go in a Catholic church, I know immediately what they believe in. The same with the Jewish temple. But I've been here nearly an hour, and I don't know what you are all about. And that's the definition of a cult. And then they escorted him out. Yeah, you can't throw a cult around there. I don't think they like it. But probably, I mean, I had a chiropractor who was working on me, a very nice guy, and all these Dianetic books on the table.

21:06I read it. I was just a young mold of clay, just an innocent, sweet boy.

21:15Dana Carvey:So you're ripe for the pick and doing that. And so he goes, hey, I want to take you lunch. So I keep blowing it off. Anyway, he takes me to lunch at the CC Celeb Center. Perfectly fine lunch. And some people come over and talk to you. And then I finally get a little weird vibe. So I go, okay, thanks. I go back and he goes you got to join and I go I don't think I want to he goes you want that back to clear up you want your neck to feel better I go so I it's not going to get better until I do that he goes yep because you got to clear everything out and I go there might be something to that but I was always under the assumption you were actually just trying to fix me without these caveats.

22:00So that was the last time I went.

22:03Dana Carvey:Hmm. Well, I read, I read Dianetics and, um, it's got a lot of end run sentences and redundancy, but basically it's, uh, psychology one-on-one in the core of it. Like you have all these things that happen to you and then they inform your behavior, whether you're bitter or angry or PTSD or scared. And so you, yeah, I know it was based on you. They had a room called the David spade room there at the slept i go he didn't even join they go and trust me he said so you hang on to these things called e-meters and i guess there's a slight electric vibration that goes through those and then they talk about things and you sort of release the idea of this overreactive mind you know so so you know i remember during snl i went to my deadbeat dad who wasn't around much he goes how's it going out there and i go it's rough dude i go i did this but gotta laugh and read through i was just telling him the textbook shit that they're saying right now somewhere from this season right yeah but i don't think it was fair because it did this and he stops me he goes let me stop you whoever told you life was fair and it kind of stumped me i go i guess nobody i just assumed he's like i go i try to be fair with people he's like who gives a shit you're out in the real world now it's such a brutal wake-up call and you go yeah i guess so he leaves for 15 years comes back drops a wisdom bomb on you and then you cry and hug him and it's all forgiven one time we were he i would see him about after four when he left we had three boys we would hang out about once a year he goes i'm gonna pick you up in a silver port he had all this but we were still like so stoked to see him he's our dad okay but he was so but i wound up buying him a con it was all this guilt stuff to keep him around but then one time i was like 14 and he was pissed at me he goes you're not wearing socks with your shoes i go no man it's cool he goes i told you last time wear socks when we go to dinner and he pulled over and tried to spank me i'm like i'm sorry sir who are you i'm 14.

24:10well when he pulled over how would he spank you how does he get access to spanking like pulled over at a rest stop we rented a room no he just pulled over to spank my i go dad i think the spanking part of me growing up is over i think you missed out he did spank when i was really little but i said you know this isn't this doesn't go forever and then the funniest thing he said to me was i was on letterman once and the one funny thing is he goes davy he's kind of a little bit of a grub worm you know he always wanted a little bit of money and and he goes davy um i've talked uh about it i i've been thinking about a good investment for you you've probably heard this it's always a million million times yeah and i and he go yeah and he goes i'm i want you to buy buy a condo and then i'll manage it for you basically live there and i go i don't know and he goes come on davy they're not making any more condos i go well actually yeah and he goes nope it's condos i go i think they are making they're just out about three million a day but anyway i did buy for him but i did a letterman with him once and i took him and he we took a jet and then we uh stayed the four seasons right nice so he goes let's do that again sometime about a year later i go to letterman they they switch it to first class i just paid for a jet myself but he goes we'll go first class and i go if i get my dad i'm going to split first class into two coach and he goes what are we doing in coach what the fuck happened to you i go i don't know we're just said who cares we're just going there and he goes look at this hotel i'm staying at the park park of meridian what the fuck is that i go it's nice i've been there and he goes bad at all yeah he goes two years ago it was private jets in the four seasons kind of slide down the old fame ladder are these quotes that's a quote oh my friends would always say that to me if we went to a shitty restaurant they'd be like this we're gonna eat tonight kind of sliding down your face letter

26:24Dana Carvey:yeah my dad actually uh a lot of stuff around finances oh oh your mother was crying the other day i wish i had money to take her somewhere oh jesus christ and uh one time though he did have something that would there's not a lot of late front property in the western u.s you know minnesota there's 10 000 lakes so up in montana late limberg it was like oh the crockers their house is coming for sale it's like crockers and they were he was an orphan and they were kind of his parents when he was in high school but that would have been a good move actually to buy a house on a lake in uh in montana is it called silverfish

27:10Dana Carvey:well whitefish is above flathead lake and that's a stunning lake and we were we rented there once and it was stunning but we were going there to buy it but then we got we got lost or something we're gonna oh you told me the story you pulled over to eat and you didn't never bought it yeah you know everyone's got a woulda coulda shoulda woulda woulda foota in their life but you know well do you want to drop this christmas bomb on us or should we go to stories news stories well we we told the we promised the audience some wisdom about how to survive we sort of did tell them but well i would just say the really the way to survive is to drink heavily um give yourself a treat uh try not to fight uh well christmas i don't know it's really for little kids you know 10 000 gifts and stuff but basically to get along with relatives that hate you and you hate them is just to kind of give it up to them oh you're right i i got you yeah yeah he's got a rolex a couple days yeah is anyone staying with you no we're pretty quiet we've got all we got a santa's village thing going on looks like exact replica of a gas station with the car moving inside and snow all around it and stuff that's cool yeah no i'm not finished we got a christmas tree well let's talk also quickly about uh rob reiner because this we're getting into the news now and um the news was about as sad as it could be for that situation uh rob on my end rob i just knew he did dickie roberts it was a big favor did play to himself my character was an actor wanted to read for him.

29:01We did a scene. He was so lovely and so funny. And he was such a big part of that movie and that excitement of being with him. So always have good feelings. Also his movies. I was looking at them and I'm like, I couldn't put his top five in any order. There's such bangers. It's unreal how much he did.

29:21Dana Carvey:Brian Smith-Princess Bride and Spinal Tap, A Few Good Men. Stan By Me. yeah two stephen king movies he was he was eclectic and misery he did all different kinds of films harry met sally those are all fucking home runs like big movies yeah i i don't know if you're with me then i was walking around new york i think we probably would love it and we go oh what's this and it was billy crystal and meg ryan who played my girlfriend on one of the boys in 1980 all right and rob reiner and they were doing when harry met sally she goes i think this we're working out pretty good um huge rob reiner was what i'd call a gentleman um very sweet i when i went into they said go meet with those guys i was barely in show business um that'd be christopher guess and michael mckean and harry sheer rob reiner so i walked in and they were thinking of me as the drummer who blows up or whatever and then i said i feel like um you guys all know each other and all relaxed and I'm kind of nervous and Rob Reiner went all right let's go let's leave so they just left the room they said we're gonna leave the room and then we'll come in so they all left and I'm sitting in the room by myself for like five minutes and they all come back in and he was directing me uh you know very casually when I did a scene as a mime waiter with Billy Crystal so it's an absolute tragedy it's sickening and bizarre and just just life you know I just found out this opera singer if you heard about this about a week ago someone was uh murked somehow and i they didn't talk much about it after but they just found out it was the son also so what a crazy thing to happen twice and uh uh not his son but the guy's son and what that's so tough the thing i i was wondering about is this bill hater part where it sounds like it was much ado about nothing i don't think it's anything it just sounds like clickbait i heard bill hater got a huge argument with him then i heard bill hater at conan's party i heard bill told him to leave and then yesterday i read they had no interaction but the kid gave bill hater a dirty look when he left i don't know that this is stuff i always say i've been in the tabloids a little bit you have you're like nah that's not true i i just take it all i take it all with the grain of salt you know i would just say this unfortunately episodes like this happen all the time all over the country um and i don't mean like 10 a day but it happens you know domestic incidences you know all and so this is just something that for people who knew rob reiner and his work is just very personal and his lovely wife who also was a producer and um it's too tragic it's too sad i don't know how to talk about it really yeah it's very heightened when it's someone people have a affinity for or a celebrity type and um people feel they know him and you're right it happens all day every day it's just such it's a tough rough world out there and he was in all the family you know in the 70s you know so it's a long long time of being in our world as an artist and filmmaker and just overall nice guy he was he was a he was a patriot he was out there it's you know politically active uh whether anyone agrees with anybody it doesn't matter.

33:02Dana Carvey:He was just a good citizen that way. So anyway. Yeah. All right. Let's get to some other more cheerful stories. Yeah. Let's bring it home. Oh, this is funny. Someone sent me this. So Ethan Hawke is David Spade all of a sudden. They put variety. They go, Spade, did you do some facial work? I said, I fucking wish. Give me that. I wouldn't look like that. Yeah. What a stud, huh? uh yeah he's he's just always kind of uh he's cool like he he's not he's not a celebrity he does indie stuff he does weird stuff but you always whenever you watch him act he's like an artist it's like he's one of those hmm goes back to training day he's got a lot of great great things he's done and he's got uh uma thurman who's married to i think he's got a daughter that's doing well in the business.

33:58Okay, that's enough of that. That was exciting.

34:00Dana Carvey:That was you, though. It was not Ethan Hawke. No, it was Ethan Hawke. I know. All right, what's this one? People to call themselves doctors anymore if they do not have an MD. So, you know, some attorneys call themselves doctor. Dentists call themselves doctor. Chiropractors call themselves doctors. Audiologists call themselves doctor. That will no longer be permitted in California. California, if you are not an MD, do not call yourself a doctor because you are confusing society. You are confusing everyone. Wow, they went after that. Because if someone dropped down and had a heart attack, Mr. Dentist, you know, doctor would not be the one pulling up.

34:40Don't tell me that. So they are trying to get some clarification on who can identify themselves as a doctor in California.

34:47Dana Carvey:Oh, oh, she's not a real doctor. I'm going to have to talk to the doctor about the person who's not a real doctor. If I say doctor three times, I get a prize. I get a raise. You should be surprised. They say the doctors. They say the doctors like nobody's business. They say. I like these new things. You really upped this podcast a little bit. Don't proceed. Don't proceed. The millionaires and the billionaires. Where's Chris Kovach going to go, Joe? Joe, you're a millionaire. We got to get the billionaires. That's what we got to get, the billionaires. Yeah, millionaires are fine. Oh, I got to bring it closer.

35:39Dana Carvey:I was dumb. Yeah. Let me tell you something. This is a Merry Christmas. Oh, I was in Santa Monica, and I missed him. Arnold came in in a Christmas sweater. with santa with a big american flag and i would have 100 gone up to him absolutely yeah going here yeah we got to go to his his superstar kind of office studio yeah yeah he's the most positive human on earth basically i would have gone and started shit with him it'd be funny oh yeah oh i would have killed i just call him a girly man you know because that's he loves that don't be such a girly man yeah yeah okay next one we're killing it this is the christmas show i know this is a special christmas show look okay dakota johnson says america feels grim but oh she went to saudi arabia i heard a few people went to saudi arabian after the common states it It feels really grim.

36:43And even in the less than 24 hours that I've been here, I have a renewed faith in cinema. That's amazing to hear.

36:54Dana Carvey:Well, what she saw, a Saudi Arabian moon? She was flown to the Saudi Arabia Film Festival. Oh, I see. So they flew a few, but I think they do give talking points. So I don't think it's in her best interest to say anything. Yeah. The biggest movie is, is animated. It's called Leo, the camel made by Saudi Arabia. Leo, the camel, Leo Sandler's movie, right? He said, Oh, that's it. But it's a rat or a lizard. A lizard. Lizard. I just thought of a Nikki Glaser joke for the golden gloves, but she hasn't done it yet but i saw it's already coming up pretty soon right february yeah because she's doing sets and she works hard so when i do a set i try to go nicky you should do this you should do that okay you share one joke with us i don't think so because it's probably going to make it that what i heard was good that she did and yeah oh but yeah but we're doing the Las Vegas shows.

38:05People come see us January. Coliseum, probably.

38:09Dana Carvey:One of the biggest whoop-de-doo theaters in there. Oh, Caesar Palace Coliseum. Yeah, the stage is slightly slanted. Oh, I didn't know that. Slightly. Yeah. I'm such a mumball. I don't know why I can handle that hill. I can talk to Kevin Nealon. By the way, the Academy Awards are going to YouTube. Oh, I heard this full. I don't know if I have opinion about it do you i'll take whatever yours is oh well i would just say you know things things always change and we can't go back in the past in the 1970s 60s 70s you would never see movie stars they wouldn't be anywhere and then you see them at the oscars the movies that came out there were big movies ten commandments or one flew over the cuckoo's nest everybody saw So it was this whole community.