SUPERFLY #58 - OSCARS AFTERPARTY

0:00I like it so far, Dana. Nothing really bothers me there No one's expecting I mean I'm in a hotel room Nope They're both going back Greg Yeah that's fine This is a good beginning Yeah This is the beauty of remote podcasting I'm in different hotels Now do you want your mirror in the background Because it shows like that square Oh that's why Maybe we should open it This is funny Yeah we go full his head off Jesus I almost yanked my earphones off today and I almost killed someone it got caught on a tree and I was like snap yeah well we got a few minutes left Dana so what should we talk about well okay I got a lot of stuff I want to talk about we'll go back and forth but oh yeah I'm doing the tour so people exciting go to davidspay.com I'm coming to your town probably not but I'm coming to a couple of towns.

1:02Coming to some town. You know what? I announced the tour, the first leg of it. And then everyone goes, why are you coming to Pensacola? That's all the comments are where I'm not going. So I will be adding and adding, but that's all on that. But it's, you can buy tickets now, finally. I just saw David. We worked together at this event and I watched from the wings and he's in very sharp form, very funny. I tried to cut him off. I tried to get the mic off. I just get him out of my hands. I said, hasn't he done his time? I kept going to the crew and they go, he's on a roll. Let him go. Let him finish.

1:41I go, does he have to finish? Yeah, Dana and I had our first corporate gig together. It was a great idea because we went all the way to Indiana. And in the daytime, I walked across the street and went to the NFL Combine. It was right across from the hotel. Everyone in our hotel was either a coach, assistant coach, weightlifting coach, QB coach. It was kind of funny. All dudes. Not great. It looked like a pirate ship. And then I walked over there and got on with Rich Eisen and did some goofy stuff. And then walked around and saw the combine, which I watch on TV every year. Just fun to walk around.

2:16You went to the combine. How long did it take you to get there from the hotel? Did you sprint or anything? Yeah. When I did this 40 over there, I go, I'm already tired because I sprinted here. but i was i felt like and i might be imagination i was being scouted while i was walking around like people are like what about this guy he could be a good rover back yeah i mean i always saw you as scrappy as a fighter and i see you as um kind of speedy quick yeah quick um yeah so you know i mean the zero to 20 yards you probably be make some noise yeah um and then i did some of the I did some sled work where you knock it back, you know, push it back.

2:59Flip the tires a little bit like that. Just let them know. It's pretty easy. If I seem a little tired, it's because we had, there was a party last night at the hotel. My wife was here. And good night, sweetheart. And then it just, can you do the effect? Yeah. And just people talking, what up, man? So this went on for hours, going to the front desk. And they're like, I don't know. We told them many times. they they were at the balcony open it's just blowing bongs pounding beers and they they kept knocking and they were like your walls should be thicker man we're not that loud it's your fault yeah so we're like we got all our shit in the other room we know we won't sleep and they can't stop them so because can you just give us a room to walk to so we can sleep is where i am now oh you did that oh my god just so we could sleep because you drag your blankets and pillows down the hallway it kind of all blurry eye come in so yeah and then i went to the dermatologist today just for a classic skin check oh oh do your fucking one that i wish i had in my act it's so funny uh yeah age related he's got a little eyeglasses going around age related this time this time the guy's really nice but this time i get it i didn't realize i was wearing powder blue underwear i just grab them right oh my god please get down so i'm sitting on the paper just nothing but the powder blue boxers skivvies sitting for like five seven minutes waiting then it's like he comes in so this time when he checked me he goes those are red dots that's normal you're going to be getting a lot more of those these dark ones back here you're going to be getting a lot more of those so your balls hang to here it's going to be getting a lot lower And then he said on my wrist He goes I go is it cancer?

4:56He goes it's pre-cancer Don't worry about it It's pre-cancer So we're going to freeze it Is everything sort of just pre-cancer Until it's cancer I go I don't know Yesterday because I'm in town And I live in the country Live in the country

5:21I keep thinking of Patrick Farm animals He's thinking live in real time I might be able to salvage that For something

5:33The coyotes The coyotes when they work in packs And you hear them Coordinating out in the field behind our house I was like coordinating. Oh yeah, they're definitely, they attack. And then they're, they're like hyenas. They're high pitch. They get horny. You're killing. But anyway, I was in the big city yesterday. I got the eye thing better now or better now. Better now, better now, better now, better now for about 45 minutes. And then the ophthalmologist came in. That was just, that was just someone. That was just me by myself. better now you're practicing now now better now now the left eye is kind of weak but the right eye is pretty good so what i used to do and this is possibly considered cheating was i'm waiting for my turn i try to memorize each line and then i go up and they go okay play i go gf pf4 321 and they go well there's no numbers in there i'm like that means i couldn't even see it when i was cheating i was well let me ask you a question this is just straight up why didn't you when you go to the pharmacy and you get them at, you know, 1.5, 1.25, 1.75, they're upping me to two.

6:46Why? Getting assistance in your eyesight is called cheaters. Oh, you need some cheaters, get some cheaters. Why is it cheating? You can't see. David, David's wearing, I'm wearing cheaters right now. You'd be a total blur if I didn't wear these. No, I actually can sort of see, which is crazy. So I told Sandler in the next grownups, we should do this, where we all sit down at the diner. The next grownups. I guess there's five of us. Yeah. And one of the next grownups. That we all sit down and everybody, the four out of the five guys put the menus like this, you know, way back here. Uh-huh. And then because they all can't see.

7:27And then I go, you guys, that's so lame. And then I go like this. instead of growing up the next one's gonna be called old growing old it's not it's not growing up anymore it's kind of like it's gonna be g-r-o-a-n yeah it's not gonna be good so i got the eyes i got the skin i finally slept it's been a big weekend i don't know liver bad kidney bad what's that from is that from your act uh yeah i think so they go check you oriental medicine they go liver bad kidney bad well no that was when i used to go to a home there was sort of acupuncture doctor and i was on snl at the time it was in the valley and i would go and they would take your pulse and go oh you're liver bad kidney bad everything from your pulse You're tired.

8:20You're tired. You're so tired now. And they give me these bottle of red pills. Now, what they would do is you do all the acupuncture stuff. We'll put here for you. I'll go there. I'm doing a Norwegian accent. Just a bad one, okay, for you. And go there. So they also would put it in your head. So one time, and this is not a bit and not a joke, I drove away and I noticed I still had one of the acupuncture things coming out of the top of my head like an antenna. Yeah. So I was kidding This is FM radio KFOG from the San Fernando Valley But anyway Life is what it is Picking up AM radio in Iceland Christ sakes I think next time you should comb through The turf before you exit The acupuncture place How much if you pluck them out Let me ask you a question Because I like to do that Have you ever done acupuncture?

9:15Oh yeah With this neck? Are you kidding me? You know what? It was a bummer the other night. We flew home. We did pretty good on the flight. That turbulence at the end kind of tightened me up. And from then on, I went to this Oscar thing. And I went with Chris and Wheat. And then I couldn't go out late because it was killing me so bad. I started getting such a bad headache. Such a bummer. What a fun night. But we did put a lot in it. We did flew all day, me and you. We came from 18 degrees. Everything about it was just a beating. And so kind of interesting. We, I like to kind of just let the turbulence exist on its own.

9:54So I just flop. Like I, I just go with it. And I saw you tensing and tightening. I thought, well, most of the time you're sitting on the floor of the apartment, which is kind of hip, like a kind of a hippie thing. You're like, I get on my knees. Give him a bongo. He's done. It bothers the other customers. Actually, I think when I was biting on the pilot's collarbone, just because I was so nervous, like, ah, on the way down. Yeah, I know. Well, we had a fun time. Well, here's a funny thing. So I go, I don't see the Oscars at all. And our boy Conan was on them. So I see little clips here and there, but then I go to this shindig, this Vanity Fair one with Chris.

10:38So when you get there, it's going to be a little bedlam inside, but there's a press line so that's kind of stuff they don't really want guys there because guys you know i'm wearing a black suit so is chris he looks good and they don't want guys there because they want to well they just want to take the pictures of the girls gowns basically got it the guy who cares you know and so when you get the press line you know at snl the press line it was like log jam i was standing there for 20 minutes waiting to go through like four degrees i mean was Was it outside or no? No, this Vanity Fair, this one.

11:11Oh, and SNL. Oh, you weren't there. Yeah, it was inside, but for some reason it was backed up. I missed it, David. I know, I just keep bringing up that you missed it. But this one was, there's a few people waiting, and we're behind Jeff Bezos and Lauren, right? Oh. So you just never know where you're going to be in line, you know, because whoever gets there, like last year, a slew of these models came in. And like Gigi Hadid, Emrata, they all were in line. And so they all, I said, you guys go first. Because that's all they care about is this stuff, you know, fine. So I'm waiting. And then they say there's three circles.

11:51This is inside baseball as we always grow someone out. I love it. I know. Don't be mad. Don't be mad. I want to, I'm getting information right now. Even though I've been to the Oscars a few times. You've done a million of these. So this is just the after party. Okay. and there's a there's a wall of photographers and so we're waiting and so bezos who i don't really know i don't i don't think i know him at all i know lauren a little bit so they go first so they get on their little circle a few clicks you know jeff jeff lauren over here oh yeah you know they're doing they're doing a little action because it's a couple you know so they go to the next one so chris rock comes up they go chris rock chris rock so he's in the next one okay and then And then when they move forward, they go spade.

12:34So now I'm on me. It's a few clicks, but, you know, we get it. I'm wearing a suit. I look around, got it. And then I look at Chris and I go, go. Like, let's get out of here. You know, go to the next circle. Let's get out of here. Yeah. And then Bezos is there, but he's like, hey, hey. You know, he's kind of peacocking. He looks good. Lauren's very pretty. Did he have a sleeveless tuxedo with his biceps bulging out? Yeah. I mean, he actually brought a solo flex with him. He is jacked. Yeah, he's ripped. Yeah. And so, oh, there's a picture of us. Oh, Heather will send a picture. Maybe we can put that.

13:06Okay. I never saw that. I didn't see any pictures from that night. So that, oh, you should look for another one because, so then they're still taking long. So we're not, we're not getting off our circles and I'm just dying out there. And now the photographers are like down, they kind of shoot from the hip. Now they're going across me and Chris trying to get Jeff, you know, Lauren that way. And then they're looking at their film. They're checking their phones. I'm like, Chris, go. He's like, I'm waiting for them. Then they finally move off. So we go to that circle. Then we cruise off. No, then we get a couple together, I guess.

13:39So then we go off. And now they stopped for something. And now we run smack dab, once we're off the carpet, into Jeff and Lauren. And Chris is with his daughter, too. And they say, oh, let's get a picture of all you guys. Like, we're all together. And I'm like, shh. So I say hi to them. And then they come to the picture. Jeff faces. Now we're all like all the party together. But he was very nice and she was always been sweet. So then if you feel the woman, you're very, I'm sure, very conscious of like. Oh, it's everything. I'm looking at my gown, my makeup. So much pressure. Every woman there is stunning.

14:15And so we go in and then I run in, of course, to some comedians. I see Mulaney and I see Nick Kroll and a few others. So we just sit with them and bullshit. And then, you know, you get acclimated. acclimated then you start going i'm gonna take a lap first of all sasha baron comes out now you know sasha baron as you know we played borat he played borat he pretended to be sort of a middle easter man that oh there they are oh there we are okay that's not bad right look at my hair shaved i don't know if it's your best picture i don't really i don't know thank you i mean but that's not your fault you're incredibly handsome yeah i mean listen maybe It was a bad pitch.

14:58It didn't look like you to me. Can we see it again? Let's have one. No, don't make me horrified. Let me see. I've never seen these. It looks perfectly fine, but it doesn't. Well, I think it's weird. My sides are shaved, so it looks a little different. Right, but look how stern you are. Look at Chris with the big smile. Oh, yeah. That doesn't look like your personality. I think I looked too smiley one time, and from then on, it was over. Oh, and then you're like Howard's sterning it up. Yeah, I just am like, listen, let's just get. Oh, okay. This is it. Okay. This is it. Good Lord. Look at how funny.

15:33So this, the other funny part is Chris's daughters with him, who's obviously very pretty. How old is his daughter? I think she's 21. We all came together. She's lovely. So we stopped and grabbed them. Lovely daughter. Lovely. And her friend. And so then we're walking up. I'm like, oh, Chris, people think we're double dating here. This is a problem. So I kind of hang behind. Then we get there. And then Lola gets there. There's Lola and Zara, his daughters. But I go, let's have no confusion like we're all together. So anyway, funny picture of all of us, right? That's funny. It was funny. I just, you know, I don't know if I'm liberated or not liberated, but it's just interesting that men are covered in their tuxedos and women have to have their collarbones and their shoulders.

16:28Well, no, there they are. Look at me. Oh, my shirt's unbuttoned. Well, that looks like you have a mullet, but it's not your hair in the back. I do. No, but it's really coming out. Chris Rock is leading the way. He looks like he's about to do a stand-up bit. Sasha. He goes, now the thing is, he always says, but Sasha's too tall, so I don't want to hang out with him all night. This is true. So he's always funny. and I do like him. He's very funny. So, you know, friendly. So they go to the bar and I go, I'm going to walk around. Yeah. Yeah, he's brilliant. So anyway, I run into a few people and obviously every other person is a celebrity because people don't really get plus ones.

17:08Not many do. Obviously, Bezos and Lauren come together. And so I just see a lot of interesting people you don't see a lot, but I was not feeling great. Obviously, my horrible pictures and my shirt was too unbuttoned oh there's good ones i'm sure there's great ones a photo can be you catch someone yeah oh there is oh fuck show that it was with rock too right oh you'll like this one this is so important to me i don't even know why it's important to me i really want to see your good i want to find a good picture i don't know i don't know if this is it i want to see it But, you know, they walk around.

17:46They kind of ruin it because Kim K was just on SNL, and they're building a Skims right by my house, and I wanted to grill her about it. But it's hard to go up to her because they always have someone sort of floating to nail someone. They have security. Just get a picture with her. Yeah. And if you say hi and get a picture, it looks like you're trying to get a picture. Too sweaty. So out of respect, I said hi for two seconds, but it was in between when the guy. I don't think the only negative about the Vanity Fair part, and there's really none. is there's probably two floating photographers. And so - In a ballroom of 300 people.

18:22Yeah, maybe 200. Yeah, and it's small. So it's small. It's like a - Yeah. Okay, here's your - Oh, here's a bad shot of me. But it is when Mick Jagger came over. So that's good. Yeah, you guys are kind of, there's this, I don't know, there's something like you're kind of - Is this what I look like from the side? Let me just go real quick. I want to throw myself through a plate glass window. No, you do not look like... Oh, that one's better. I got a smiley one, yeah. That looks more... Let's put that one. I know who that looks like, but I can't think of his name. Star Wars, you know. C3PO? No, that's the...

18:58Oh, Mark Hamill? Yeah, from the side. Yeah, a little bit. God, anybody better? That was just a photo. No, I know. I kind of a gray beard. I mean, a blonde one. so it's uh no i i'm fine with how i look uh but listen this woman came up i was gonna ask you do you know who dr k is from instagram anyway she's a plastic surgeon but she wanted a picture and then of course i do the classic dana she goes oh i do plastic surgery i go hey can you give me the the brad pitt i don't even know if he's done anything just make me look like him she goes oh i see what we could do and she starts touching my face i go i'm kind of kidding you don't have to leap into action already with your professional opinion but she's very sweet here's what happened to me when i went to the oscars so i was invited to the vanity fair party this will be quick i was invited with a big white envelope vanity fair invites you they invited me for 25 years straight and I just never went and I never responded, but I kept getting invited.

20:08So then they stopped inviting me the year before I was invited to the 2018 one because Mike Myers was there for the Queen movie. And so we went to the Oscars, got all dressed up. I went to, I go, okay, this is probably my last Oscars. So I think we went to one of the Neiman markers or one of those. Okay, I got to get a tuxedo. right so i said to the guy i just want george clooney i just want exactly what george clooney so he started pointing we'll put this we're gonna put this i go is this george clooney he goes oh no george would do that i go no no i mean literally i want a george clooney just a shoe simple everything because george clooney always looks the best in a tuxedo looks great the tuxedo costs money and um i looked a lot like george clooney but anyway so we we go there and then we're in some kind of after party talking to mike who's uh generous enough to invite us to go there um and his wife and we okay they're going from there to the vanity fair party right so i go well we're not invited to the vanity fair party we don't have any invite they're like oh come along we'll get you in but i i couldn't i couldn't be the the third wheel with my wife like we don't really have an invite but we know famous people could we go in so we decided to go we left and we went to catch i was in a tuxedo and she was going to eat to eat and not a bad move they are so by ourselves first of all you're as famous as anyone in there or more stop it and when you and people would love to see you people ask me about you all the time so but the problem is i'm a recluse except for this podcast yeah it's good you have a little bit of mystery to you i have none so i go there also i know my angle isn't this from now on heather when i'm taking photographs those those photographs have nothing to do with reality they know i'm personality driven so well you know you didn't look like yourself in that shot you couldn't recognize you look at me now do i i'm angry to be at this party yeah okay so when you pull up to vanity fair you see this woman and there's like a guard gate they have police everywhere because there's too many people there that they don't want anything to happen to i guess there's dignitaries or whoever like bezos he himself is they're probably keeping an eye on him alone along with everyone else so you have a stop you have to show something in the window of your car and then you have a hard plastic david spade vanity fair thing.

22:49So you have to show that. Then even if they know you, David, go ahead. Next one, stop, get out, show that again, shake down. I saw a guy go literally, hey, David, do you know this guy, whatever? I go, yeah. And he goes, can you tell him I'm stuck out here? I'm supposed to be with him. And I'm like, oh, the chances I would run into this guy inside, which I never did. But he was stuck too. Sorry, we just don't have the thing and you have to have the thing. So it might have been, I'm saying it might have been a slight problem just because I saw how rough they were on everyone. They weren't even screwing around.

23:24Anytime you're in that party and if you pivot left or right or look up or make a sudden move, you will be tackled. You were in danger of being tackled for two hours at the Vanity Fair party. Just taken down, guy with his knee in your back. What are you doing? You know, so it's not as fun. Why are you shaking Jeff Bezos' hand? And yeah, I know. So, and then I pussed out on the Guy O 'Ciri party because that goes all night and it's super fun. But I felt such like fuck pie. I go, I can't do it. And then of course, I feel better now. And I'm like, oh, but of course I can't. Anyway, well, I got a lot out of it and we got age related and we got fun.

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25:11life. Follow and listen to Jill on Money wherever you get your podcasts. Shout out. It'll be whenever it's out to our friend Conan. Did a great job. Yeah. Great jokes. He had his serious moments, funny moments. He kept it light. And I thought it was a home run for Conan. And I bet he's already been invited to do it next year. And Adrian Brody, all the highlights I heard where he did a long speech, which is fine. I do love it when a guy goes, stop the music. I've been here before. You know, he told him, no, no, no, stop, stop. Please turn off the music. I've done this before. This is not my first rodeo.

25:50This is not my first rodeo. Whoa. Can I just make the gum one? Go ahead. No, not my first rodeo is such a funny figure of speech. Like apparently first rodeos are complete shit shows, but the second rodeo is really nice. But the first one, you get messed up. But I saw a girl with a hat on honestly about a week ago and said, this is my first rodeo. Please excuse me. This is my first. Here's the cool thing about this that he talked about. So this guy gets the Oscar 20 years ago. He's a great actor. Right. And then he's kind of in the wilderness years. It's not he's not getting as many A parts. And he really talks to that.

26:31Like, I'm still here, Hollywood. It was very open and emotional. but um after about 26 minutes of that i thought okay he said everything he needs to say how funny yeah his so she took an earring off oh she took his her earring off and he wore it as a brooch yes why does brooches is this early in a relationship is this romance like is it The first six months. All right. I'll ask you about romance and Heather can chime in. All right. The clip I saw is he won, he got up, he started walking, got about 20 feet away, took his gum out and threw it back to her to catch. And I don't see that in a lot of Hallmark movies, but maybe that's the new romantic gesture.

27:24Right. Take this bitch and hope it sticks in your Oscar hair that you had done for two and a half hours. I had a hostess snowball in my pocket. Yeah, one of those host of snowballs when I won the Emmy. Whoops, how'd that get out? So I walk into the stage, I look back at Paula. She was sitting next to like, I don't know, Eddie Van Halen. I just went. She had a catcher's mask. Just romantic. Yeah, it's very, it's cute. If I was her, I'd be like, hey, next Oscars, maybe not throw your gum at me. Maybe not. Yeah. Did he bring up Weinstein? That's hard too. That's a tough subject at the Oscars. Well, I mentioned that before, and it has nothing to do with Weinstein or anyone.

28:06It's just such a turn to go from the Weinstein type, Harvey Weinstein, to Adrian Brody, who has just this gravitas about him or sadness. He just has this cool, incredibly genuine person based on what I saw. I like him. Obviously talented. If he doesn't get an Oscar for 20 years, it means nothing about his acting. It's just there's so many – there's only X amount of good movies and so many actors that are good that it's just – it's sort of the lucky. I think he works. Also, if it's about – he works all the time. But if it's about the Holocaust, you know, there's always a chance it's going to be taken very seriously and it might get pushed to the front of the pile.

28:47It's something – I'm sure it's brilliant. It's just a place I can't go to anymore. But, you know, he – Adrian Brody, what do you – I'm eating a banana. I didn't know what time it was. Dana, I still don't. I just know. I was like, I think I'm going to pass out. I spent the weekend with you. We were doing our own thing going around there. But every time I turned around, you're peeling a freaking banana. I go, is this guy got a potassium deficiency? Bananas is my new go-to. It's easy. But anything on the podcast, I can't really eat. I have shit around here, but I can't eat it. Remember when I handed you an orange?

29:22You said, what am I going to do with this? And you threw it down. I was like, that's not very nice. And then I go, give me a goddamn banana. yeah you're like a monkey you need a fucking banana i don't want people to think i eat food oh by the way before we get into the stories there was a there was a quake here the other day did you feel it what are they talking three nine it was a chumpy three six embarrassing no that's nothing that's that's like is the mattress moving i didn't really feel it um the there was a big one in san jose i flew over it while the earthquake was happening i think i I was on Southwest and the pilot came on and said, earthquake down in San Jose right now.

30:02Now we're over San Jose. Now we're not. Now we're over San Jose. Now we're not. I mean, the whole city was moving. I was shocked. That's very shocking. I was surprised. I mean, that's a big earthquake. That's big. It slides out from under the plane and comes back. Now we're not. Shakers, tremors. I had a friend once. People are telling me, they're like, it was a 3-6, but felt like a 4-1. because we know our earthquakes out here so i'm like you get into the fives i'll start to listen six i'm scared and it's also depth the depth of it uh and the way it shakes and was it a roller was it a sideways one was it does it liquefy i have a good friend who like during the yeah i'll tell you more later about that it's not for the podcast uh northridge earthquake which which was a six something but more like created action like an 8.0 monster friend was like when it was hitting was going this is a big one this is a big one uh we got to get out of here it was the biggest it was like six six right well look look listen the ring of fire in japan and stuff tokyo can take a 9.2 and they're on ball bearings so they just kind of go like that we um in california with the san andreas we're kind of tapped out i hope i'm right at maybe a 7-2 because our, you know, things, our Teutonic plates are moving this way.

31:33You don't want them to move this way off the coast of Oregon. They're going to move this way. And that'll be a 12.4. Oh, the plates. The plates. If they're moving this way, there's a certain, you know, but if they're moving. Teutonic plates. Yeah. It doesn't always have to be funny. It can educate. No, I like it. I'm riveted. But do you get it? But can you keep up? Yeah. All right. Let's go to look at some stories. We've covered everything. We didn't cover the Oscars at all, but it's funny. Who cares? Kudos to Conan. Oh, wait. Oh, this is cute. You know how dogs can do a lot of tricks? This is cute.