Tim Dillon: It’s Hard To Be Rich In This Biz…

0:00The April 15th tax deadline is coming fast, but don't worry. You can hand off your taxes to a TurboTax expert today. Seriously, Dana, doing taxes the old way is like being stuck in the writer's room at 4 a.m. Mentally freaking out, overloaded, chasing updates, rewriting, waiting on someone else, Jim Downey. It's a disaster.

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2:51I think people got a little turned off by that. The guy from before you called me, Sam Levinson called me over the summer and said, there's a scene we want you to do where you're a sugar daddy and you're paying Hunter Schaefer and Hunter Schaefer has you on a leash and you're walking around the floor like a dog, you're going to have an army of morbidly obese, heavily medicated Disney adults. And that's just what we've got. That's what we've built in this country. That's our front line. That's our front line. Just 48-year-olds dosed with Prozac, dressed like toddlers with Mickey Mouse backpacks, running.

3:31Well, we had a real firecracker, Dana.

3:36Dana Carvey:You predicted it, and then we did it. Tim Dillon. Oh, boy. Tim Dillon, who's such a funny podcast, such a hilarious dude, always has opinions. He was on Lights Out. We talked about that, which is this show. That's where I met him, and then we made him have a little special segment on there. And he just couldn't give a shit. He makes fun of everybody, everything, both political sides. We talk about so many things, and he's a great riffaholic. Yeah. I mean, I really enjoy it. At a certain point, I was just like, okay, just feed him something, and then he'll go on a rant. Kind of reminded me of Dennis Miller and Rush Limbaugh had a baby or something.

4:19Dana Carvey:It's like this high energy. And he never says no. No, whatever you say to him, he starts running with it right away, and it's dripping sarcasm, but ultimately it's always just going for the laugh. It's always funny. Almost always offensive, always hilarious. Offensive and funny. And like you said, you said it well, he's got good word packages. Like, to talk quickly on a subject we're just throwing him, and then he puts it together in a nice little package. It's pretty smart. I mean, it's hard to do. It is. he's yeah it was very very fun to listen and i'm saying shit i shouldn't because we're just getting caught up in like how funny it is to just make fun of everything and to to just say whatever comes to mind and be like it's all comedy but uh anyway here he is tim dylan uh one of our new favorites on here oh fuck me man so i'm the only guy hatless yeah how are we good morning tim i almost bought you i saw these big shades when i was on the road at some store on the road i was like these i should get these for tim but you should have it would kill me to buy him something and be a good friend no i know it's it's it's good to hear about that you thought of it though it's the thought that's really the thought that counts that's right i think it's the most important thing instead of that i spent my money on zingers where were you i was just back in the uh virginia run the coveted the virginia run yeah it's just like all these towns and then you go and i was actually dana you'd be excited about this tim will be bored of fucking tears already duke was playing in norfolk the night i played and then the next night i went they were playing yukon in that city in the building next to me did that hurt your ticket sales or what's the what's the cat no it made him better because everyone fucking loves the spillover tim he's like can you go to 7-eleven grab a big gulp i just i just pointed at someone i said coffee please this is early guys for me this is really i would have done it later i just thought no this is okay i'm i am up and at him i'm just um i like the mornings to record you know tim is a friend of mine dana i'll give you a brief history saw him on lights out because adam he told him told me he's funny because i don't go love comedians and then he came on he's very funny said something very inflammatory of course immediately and i was like oh we got a live wire here and uh remember that tim yes i i It was a big moment.

7:08I enjoyed that. By the way, I loved doing that show. Yeah, that show's built for you. Because he just comes on. He knows a little about everything. So you give him any subject. He starts talking. And then we did it a few times. And then after that COVID hit, no one's blaming Tim. But no one's not blaming him. Of course. And then we started having dinners and hanging out. It was fun. So then he went off and did whatever.

7:33Dana Carvey:Well, the legacy is as follows. and there's probably more right so where was tim in stardom or nikki or theo when you put them on lights out and what compared to where they are now you know what's funny is theo is a bit of a unicorn in the way that he handles all of showbiz decisions and he we were getting to be friends but he said i don't think i'd be good at lights out and then he came on maybe once heather i think He came on once, but it wasn't right for him. It's perfect for Tim. It's perfect for Nikki. And then we all got to be friends. And then Tim has a special called, what is it called on Netflix?

8:13I'm your mother. I forget. I'm your mother. Yeah. It came out last April. I forget. Everything moves so quickly now. I do forget. But yeah, it's on Netflix. And I love doing that show. We did a special little thing on Lights Out where I came in. Oh, that's right. Right? we had a little segment you gave me a segment this was like amazing i just moved to la and i got like a little segment on lights out it was it was a lot of fun and we love adam obviously he's the best out of me and um i missed that show i think there needs to be a show like that where you come in you do quick funny topical stuff and then every week you got to write new stuff right you know that's a great thing it's a good reason and some of it's a little undercooked when you get out there like my own stuff but at least you're talking about things that are new and then sometimes you stumble into a bit it's good um well well one other important observation about

9:07Dana Carvey:that because i did a few times too just the feng shui no band maybe 70 people 80 people felt very intimate and very good when you're out there like it was close to you some studios are kind of distant too much razzmatazz anyway tim comment and then you'd be on the show with comedians you didn't really like. And that was good too, because you go, these people, we don't really like each other. And we kind of, you know, say things about each other on social media subliminally, of course, but they're here and we got to make the best of it. Let's do a fun kind of topical joke about, you know, some woman who disappeared in the Midwest or whatever we were going on about, you know, whatever, whatever the news of the day was.

9:52dude by the way I have a question for Tim and tell him if you disagree when Bad Bunny which I know you have opinions about sure he sang at the Super Bowl get him out of here no I'm kidding a lot of people don't remember Bad Bunny sang at the Super Bowl and at the halftime show I thought he's bringing out people I thought what everyone thought what if he brings Savannah Guthrie's mom out that would have been such a smart move huge and he doesn't like clicks because it would have and she's like yo yo like oh my god she's part of it she's in on it and that would have crushed they wouldn't watch the rest of the game that's the type of joke on lights out the writers would say to you i don't know if it's worth it's a little if that is mother and then you'd have to talk it out with them you'd go i think it is worth it you'll get it it's not worth it for me it's worth it for you because the first time he came on he goes oh and then we're going to commercial he goes oh and quickly when we come back let's talk about caitlin jenner is a murderer and we go oh all right well let's hear from our sponsor mcdonald's and we'll be right back how many episodes were created of that show before you know what did you 150 and tim did a lot of what was your job when you came and sat and talked to it i i when i did that segment i was giving some kind of advice it was like a consultant and i think that you had hired me the gag was the bit was that you that lights out it hired me as some type of like consultant or something yeah like pr rep something was a horrible idea so the majority of it was finding a jacket that fit and then so a woman would just come like a black majority yeah so a laggard looking like a woman would come with one jacket and i didn't know and then she'd go okay and then she'd go to the other costume woman they'd find another jacket they'd discuss they would talk you'd see them talking in the hall holding both jackets but then we eventually got it in the can and that's important to really yeah but uh yeah i heard them in the hall going what's a funnier jacket i was worried about what's funny yeah it's like this one's not funny enough i'm like i think just get a hoodie and he'll be fine yeah the uh those those we we need things like that back you know and i feel bad savannah guthrie by the way now going back to work yeah who's happy about that hoda that's a everybody needs money, I guess.

12:15If I were her, I would take a sabbatical, but it's tough. I guess she feels better going back to the job. I would go back because there's too much thinking in your day of just being alone. Good point. For her to go on the news and just be around the police, I can't even imagine that scenario. Well, you think it's a little traumatizing for her to have to go breaking news every five seconds and it's never what she wants it to be. Yes. You know what It does seem a little crazy. Oh, on the today show, she has to. And we have breaking news. And everybody goes, what? And then she goes, Chapel Roan punched a kid or something.

12:54It's not what she wants it to be. It's never like mommy's home. It's never that. And it's always, you know. Well, how do they get away with it?

13:06Dana Carvey:I mean, we agree she was abducted. But with the cameras and forensic, was it Kistone Cops? I mean, Barney Fife was in charge of the investigation or what? It seems like the family is involved in some sort. I haven't followed it. We're going to go to a commercial. All right. Jim Dillon has been our guest.

13:28K-pop Demon Hunter's Saja Boys breakfast meal and Huntrix meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.

13:43Dana Carvey:It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Hey, participate in McDonald's while supplies last. Hi, my name is Lloyd Lockridge, and I'm the host of a new podcast from Odyssey called Family Lore. In this podcast, I'm going to have people on to tell unusual and sometimes far-fetched stories about their families. I've heard my whole life that she invented the margarita. And then we're going to investigate those stories and find out how much of it is true. He gets a patent one month before the Wright brothers.

14:20Oh my God.

14:21Dana Carvey:Please follow and listen to Family Lore, an Odyssey podcast available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows.

14:32Dana Carvey:in a classroom of sodas most stay quiet then there's mr pib sweet cherry bold outburst the kind of flavor that gets attention boom kick up cherry i want your opinion on this yeah because megan markle used to be we talked about lights out and she was a lovely young lady she was on suits and then she skyrocketed to fame but i always thought when suits came back things were a little iffy in the are they the duke and duchess anymore are they how much full they have i thought she should have joined suits and been an actress again and made big money for sure she likes acting right do you think she should go to that again he's passed well so you're talking about suits la when that came back yeah is that it yeah yeah well that someone from suits la messaged me i'm not kidding like one of the showrunners like we'd like you to do a small part in this we can't really pay you and the script is bad i mean literally i have the message we can't really pay you and the script is not good and the part is not big and i said well uh they're shooting la yeah thank you for thinking of me um i think megan will eventually find her way into some type of talk show because she's failed at the Martha Stewart route, which she wanted.

15:57She was slinging jam in Target. She wanted to have a lifestyle brand. Yes. Jam was an interesting choice. Yes. Well, it's probably an uncrowded market. Other than Welch's, I can't think of too many. Yeah. There's right. She's definitely, she needs to adjust her strategy, but I could also see her going back to the UK and going back to the UK and saying, let's give it another go. Wow.

16:25Dana Carvey:That's really, I think they do have to go back and stir the brand again. Cause that's the power is to give it a jumpstart. Yeah. Yeah. She's got to do something. I think we're all a little tired of her stick here. I don't think it worked as well as she thought it would. I think she was going to come back. Her idea was to come back to America and say, listen, the British are really racist, but they do know a lot about dinner parties. And I've learned that. So I'm here to tell you how to live like a human being and what fork to use. You pig, you American pig. And I think it felt a little condescending because, you know, she had that show on Netflix where she was basically like, now this is a, this is what they call a saucer.

17:11You put your coffee cup on it. so it doesn't spill all over your illegitimate children, you animals. I think people got a little turned off by that. I like when they go, Prince Harry is marrying a superstar celebrity from America. I'm like, she's on Suits. I mean, I don't know what they think it is over there. I go, she's not even the biggest star on Suits. But the biggest stars in the UK, many of them work at grocery stores. Like, it's a whole different thing. Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, like truly, truly some of the top stars over there. It's not like America where they live in mansions and everything like that.

17:49Yeah. You know, many of them just work menial jobs, you know, sort of a cobbler or something, you know. Old school job. Yeah, truly.

17:58Dana Carvey:Yeah. Daniel Day-Lewis was a cobbler. Yeah. They don't have anything going on. I'm not saying, I'm saying no on OnlyFans for now because that's not the move right now. No, it's not. she's got to do something classy yeah classy first and then uh i heard on euphoria sydney sweeney they're upping the anthy with sydney sweeney she's going to be an only fans model really in the show which is kind of smart the guy from euphoria called me sam levinson called me over the summer and said there's this scene we want you to do where hunter you're sugar daddy and you're paying hunter schaefer and hunter schaefer has you on a leash and you're walking around the floor like a dog.

18:40And I go, he goes, but it's only like four lines. I go, I need 12 lines. I'm not flying to California for four lines. I said, I will absolutely do it for like 10 or 12 lines. He goes, it's like four lines. He goes, it's like two lines at a dinner. And then immediately you're on the leash. I go, I don't, I need eight lines or 10 lines before I'm on the leash. I'm, I'm, you know what I mean? Like, well, he says, um, is ARF, ARF two lines or one? I mean, it was literally a call. He goes, I totally understand if you don't want to do it. Don't worry about it. He goes, it's not a lot of lines. He goes, it's two lines, you're on a leash.

19:15And I go, eight lines, ten lines, and then I'm on a leash, fine. Right. One of those retractable. Someone putting a leash on me, you know, is most of the day. I like that you're in your leash at lunch saying hi to everyone. Hey, Zendaya. Oh, 100%. They wouldn't even be on set. I asked, I said, can I at least get a photo? them he goes they won't be he goes we're not letting you near as in day and jacob alorty we're putting a leash on you you're gonna be in a in in some type of segregated area like you have a disease yeah like it's the spanish flu and you're gonna be on a leash hunter shaffer's gonna poke you with a stick and then you're gonna get uh sag healthcare maybe taser your nuts and then that's That's a wrap.

20:00That's a wrap.

20:02Dana Carvey:Who is your agent? Because I'm not hearing a lot of great offers. Candace Owens is behind me recently. No, it's PAA. I have a great age. I have the biggest agency. What are they going to do? They're homeless, half of them now. I mean, what are they, you know? They're getting bought by private equity companies and counting their money. Some of them are. Some of them are in real trouble. That's right. i will say that i hate to admit that tim dylan is very funny as an actor uh when he did busboys and then i think it would help people see you in that because i'll go to my go to where can they get tickets to it oh to busboys yeah do we have busboys movie god go get tickets because we have we have one of the funniest scenes i think we have a great scene me and trailer yeah we have a really funny scene that seems longer and we're gonna put out more footage because we laughed the whole time we laughed the whole time and i was nervous because i didn't know if i was going to remember the lines and i was i was pretty good for someone who doesn't you know i'm not doing this all i will finish the sentence he's very good and he was very i'm not saying shockingly professional but with comedians who cancel spots every night at the end i'm like i don't know what i'm getting i'm not saying tim does that but i'm saying right nobody knows and theo has never done it and so people might think hey like nate diaz was a little loosey-goosey with the schedule me and bobby even came to set you yes bobby lee the biggest gamble and he was on time put that band-aid around his head put i mean i was shocked and tim would come and it would be one of those things where one time i got mad because i said are you still here and i think we just have to do a cutaway or something so he was always sitting his trailer perfectly behaved knew his lines and then one time when you had a long list he had to walk down the line of busboys and kind of on us all i said this is one of those days where i go i wouldn't want this many lines and he had them all memorized boom boom boom so i was very impressed who cares about impressing me but i was just glad that he came and took it seriously well i appreciate that people wouldn't and i took it i took it seriously and and um i surprised myself with my ability to remember the lines because it is difficult that's the hardest part the hardest part really is to remember because you will think you have them down and then you will go on set and then it's and i've screwed movies up you know joker 2 famously i couldn't remember the lines and todd phillips got really mad at me and it's not his fault it's my fault because i couldn't remember Now, some of the directions was confusing, whatever, but that's not my, what am I, you know what I mean?

22:55But it was difficult. The critics have thoughts on it. It doesn't matter. But it was hard for me to do it, and I didn't have the lines down in Joker. And I only had like six lines in Joker, but I kept putting them in the wrong because it's, you know, Joaquin Phoenix and Brendan Glitzkamp, and it's really intimidating. And it was really hard. I was coming off that experience, which was a trauma, traumatic. You know what? That was like Marc Maron in the first one. He had De Niro and Joaquin, and he had to be a normal. It's very hard. All that, just that is scary. Just doing them in your trailer, even if you run them with someone, you walk on set, and then the real people are in front of you.

23:33You can blank because you're like, this isn't how I pictured in my head because I was just doing it like this. Now, there's too much in my head. I'm just saying it's better looking at Jessica Michelle Singleton on set as opposed to Joaquin fitting i felt more oh yes well yeah i felt less well we were more relaxed set for sure it was more fun and we would say do it a million times and say whatever you want and we all uh i like when you go to the one guy frankly you're scaring me i love whatever you want my favorite line is um i don't even know what you're talking about he goes i have a question i don't even know what you're talking This is an old school, like smoke a joint and go to the movie theater.

24:18But don't try. Obviously, I've got an Uber. Listen, a lot of people are comparing it to Inception and some Christopher Nolan films. Well, it is. I think it has a lot of similarities to that. I'm getting Dunkirk vibes. I don't know why. Dana liked the trailer, but we're making him go see it at the movies.

24:37Dana Carvey:Well, it felt like a 90s comedy. And I think the world right now. Oh, I'm going to hot take. It's a little discombobulated right now. So then this really goofy, silly movie with physical comedy and you guys, I don't know. It seems like a good relief from the world. My hope is that it ends the Iran war because people just start going. That's what everyone's banking on. This is probably the direction it goes, if you want my guess. Well, I did have a question for you. This is a non sequitur, but what would it take financially? actually real offer to play Karg Island. Oh, for me? Yeah, to play Karg Island.

25:18My agent would absolutely suggest it, by the way. My agent is a disgusting, money-grubbing monster. And I love him and he's good, but he would absolutely suggest Karg Island. And he would say what he says about everything. He'd go, it's actually an easy flight. That's what he said. I've heard that. Yeah, it's an easy flight. It's New York to Reykjavik and then Reykjavik to Dubai. Dubai right in there. You land on an aircraft carrier. It's an amphibious assault, but we get you on it. No, it's an easy flight. We can promote your name on bombs when they drop. That's a good idea. It's an easy flight.

25:54He goes, it's the amphitheater's big. He goes, it's 3000, but I'm not worried about it. I'm not worried about 3000.

26:00Dana Carvey:It was a certain size and then Trump made it actually bigger. there's a reason i'm not worried about it it's an easy flight they're hungry for comedy you've never been there you starved the market so now that you're there people really show up right when i do when i say it's six flights and it's 17 hours my guy goes and then you're there and then you're right now what a great line they all have and then you're there and then you're home i'm like oh okay then it's done yeah yeah well uh hopefully busboys has some influence on helping end the war because maybe everyone wants it to be over with so they can focus on it well i think so i think we're all ready for silliness and fun and i think people need to stop with the the the killing and the screaming yeah and the right and the rage there's go to busboys and not be angry for 90 minutes 100 then be angry right after again and right before yes but not when spade and Dylan are on the screen doing their magic.

26:59That's when you just let it go.

27:02Dana Carvey:That's when you let it be. So that'll be fun. And I have a couple more things for you that, you know, I know you're very busy. But shouldn't we say where they get tickets? You guys got to get them in advance. Because, well, what we're doing is we're adding theaters this week. So what happens is if the theaters start to fill up Regal or Cinemark, there's a new one. AMC. Markins in Arizona they want to add. So that helps. So they start filling up, they add more. That helps. So where do they go? Just wriggle on. That's it, Busboys Movie. And then you go to busboymovie.com, and then it'll say, put in your zip code.

27:37And then it says, here's the theaters by you.