FA Cup scares/dumpings/cruises, dark orange cards & Roman gladiator VAR

12:12Charlie Eccleshare:makes it more of a dumping.

12:13Adam Hurrey:And they're almost certainly going to be relegated from League One as well. So that's... Yeah, extraordinary. You need to give them a little bit more agency.

12:21Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah. Leeds-Norwich, that's a stroll. That's potentially a marching if you want to be really Leeds-y about it, Nick. But yeah, it looked pretty effortless.

12:28Adam Hurrey:Yeah. Or that could be a cruise.

12:29Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah, that was a cruise. Yeah. And then West Ham-Bredford, I mean, we might as well just speculate, despite the fact that the time will already happen by the time this episode goes out, Charlie. This feels like very late,

12:38Nick Miller:late goal decides it this this tie well this as well could be another for the resting loads of players or not um i mean you'd imagine west ham would because they do have something very important to play for brentford obviously that's still in the european shake up so yeah brentford could do

12:52Charlie Eccleshare:a fulham here couldn't they actually now i think about it let's talk about wrexham a little bit more this game nick was pretty much defined by a red card uh given to wrexham and uh former wrexham captain ben tozer joined wayne rooney on bbc punditry duty for this and then had a very unique description of what this should be.

13:09Adam Hurrey:I think... You'd have been happy with it just being a yellow? Yeah, I think so. I think it's a little bit high and that's about it. I think it's not a straight leg. It's not full studs. It's like a dark orange, isn't it? If it happens on you, you're absolutely fuming, aren't you? Yeah, I'm still not sure. I don't think it's a red. The Wrexham goal to go to... By the way, I've never heard dark

13:33Charlie Eccleshare:orange. It's always just been orange. just made that up yeah but you've got you've gone a little bit further with dark orange um nick i'm really enjoying this continued nuance with borderline red cards this is the first time i've ever heard as mark chapman says dark orange where next burnt orange terracotta burnt orange

13:49Adam Hurrey:was the one that sprang to mind we're really getting into kind of paint territory here aren't we yeah maybe blood orange is that yeah yeah yeah maybe maybe that's a little bit too a little bit too like maybe or the the is a bit too well maybe it does work actually if it's like a particularly nasty challenge or whatever yeah i need to get a pantone chart out for this child but once again

14:11Charlie Eccleshare:the record continues with this stuff of being really bang on it was a dark orange challenge and the replays confirmed it as such like it was so close to being an absolute stonewall red but you can sort of see why some people went maybe not quite yeah it's a weird one though because

14:26Nick Miller:orange obviously serves you're you're kind of sitting on the fence whereas because you're saying somewhere in between obviously by the time you're talking about dark oranges you get you're getting dangerous like you're still red there aren't you just commit yourself

14:40Charlie Eccleshare:you're not leaving yourself much wiggle room over to newcastle versus city alex newell writes in nick and says the commentator regularly referred to tijani rinders trademark runs into the box aside from that being solely reserved for frank lampard i'm not having rinders in trademark territory it needs to be three or four seasons minimum and something more discernible interesting there are some factors at play here yes it's only not even been a season for Reinders to kind of characterize this as his thing but also midfield runs seem to be a bit of a dying art we're not seeing them as much anymore I'm vaguely theorizing here so is that another thing that's shit about modern football yeah yeah definitely so maybe Reinders is a third man run it's not like a third man run anymore that's don't allow it the tacticals won't be having it so maybe rinders is more conspicuous for that and we might allow him the trademark so i when i think of rinders nick i do think of him

15:31Adam Hurrey:doing that so maybe that's the clincher yeah maybe he's just he doesn't feel like i mean he's a really good player but he doesn't feel like quite a sort of as what's the word like he doesn't feel like the sort of player that should have a trademark if that makes sense i don't know this it's just a a kind of vibe to get off him rather than anything else if you're going to ration these things out and you're allowing trademark runs then Scott McTominay is the one I think because he's been doing apparently he's been doing this a lot in Serie A or was last season when they won the league when Napoli won the league

16:03Charlie Eccleshare:Unusually Charlie I wouldn't say we could apply some sort of season threshold here I don't think that would do justice to the phrase I think you know it when you see it

16:11Nick Miller:Yeah but it's about profile of player as well and how much people are talking about it I think Alex Newell has a point and I don't think you know it's possible if this was if he was playing for another team to get more attention and people were starting to talk about it or if he was English or something like that but Man City don't get talked about by kind of your neutrals in the same kind of way so I just don't think your average football fan you know obviously if you're doing your research for this game as the commentator would have done he'll know this and we'll be all over it and people who watch City really closely will know this but your average football fan just isn't watching City closely enough to know or care about Rinders.

16:45Charlie Eccleshare:And that's a perfectly good threshold to deploy. So yeah, Alex Neal justified there. Elsewhere in this game, here is Fletch on Abdukadeer Kusanov.

16:55Adam Hurrey:Kusanov's solid, isn't he? He took two good hits tonight.

17:00Charlie Eccleshare:People forget sometimes he's still only 21. Wiseblood1978 writes in Charlie and says, Fletch has stated that a lot of people forget that Kusanov is only 21. The thing about this is that I don't think I knew what age he was and I just didn't give him the opportunity to forget about how old he was. I don't think he qualifies

17:17Nick Miller:for this category whatsoever. But this is, again, another example just because he's not someone who people are really thinking about. If this was like a high-profile English youngster or something, then yeah, maybe. I mean, I get... Is his point partly he's got quite a baby face? He does look quite young. I don't really know if that's factored into it. I don't really know where that's come from. Is it just that it's unusual that centre-backs start playing for a team as good as City when they're this young?

17:42Charlie Eccleshare:He just hasn't been at City long enough, Nick, to even sort of countenance the idea of forgetting how old he was. But then, of course, his age when he signed wasn't really made a big deal out of anyway. So, I don't know. It's never been at the forefront of people's minds, is what I'm saying.

17:54Adam Hurrey:He was the Uzbekistan player rather than... Yeah, totally. It's easy to think that he's from Uzbekistan. Rather than being particularly young.

18:03Charlie Eccleshare:His birthday is on February 29th, so he is actually technically 22. But that's by the by. We won't dwell on that. But yeah, strange. Well, it's not.

18:10Nick Miller:For people who've watched Pirates of Penzance, the classic Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. Wow. The main character gets into trouble because his birthday is February 29th and I can't remember the details but there's some agreement that when he turns age X and then they reveal, well, you're not age X because you're actually technically only four or five or whatever it is because that's how many birthdays you've had. So Kasanov is only, you know, he's had, what, five proper birthdays or something? So maybe it is easy to forget. So it is easy to get. It is easy to get in a muddle about his age.

18:37Adam Hurrey:Are you Gilbert and Sullivan fans out there?

18:39Nick Miller:Yeah, yeah.

18:39Adam Hurrey:It was an unexpected reference.

18:42Charlie Eccleshare:justification for Fletch, who I am a fan of, so it's fine. Connor O 'Neill writes in and says, on TNT this weekend, Darren Fletcher made a comment about Newcastle continuing their love affair with the FA Cup. I'm not sure what the criteria are for a club to have a love affair with a particular competition. But Newcastle haven't been in the final in 27 years, frequently exiting in the early rounds since then and haven't won the competition since the 50s. So this surely wouldn't meet the criteria to be a love affair. Nick, how do you feel about this?

19:09Adam Hurrey:can you have a love affair if you've kind of got got dramatic failures in the competition but they're too it feels like a too big a club to have they're in a weird spot with a too big a club but also not successful enough in the competition to have a love affair with you if you like i don't know if like brentford or something had had a similar record or they got to the they'd had a few memorable games where they've beaten big teams and they've got to the semi-finals or whatever then maybe that'll qualify but i'm not sure newcastle are in that that area also like i

19:38Nick Miller:swear under Ashley they famously like had this terrible relationship with the Cups where they'd never get anywhere and it was held up as evidence of like the thing we were talking about before of like why as a mid-table club are you not going for it more so like I'd say they actively had quite an uneasy relationship and they've been very much a Carabao team yeah that complicated final and they won it you could justifiably say they've got a love affair with the Carabao couldn't you?

20:02Charlie Eccleshare:Of late, yeah. A sort of a fling with the Carabao. The course of love doesn't run smoothly. We know that. So Wolves versus Liverpool on Friday night, Nick. There was a very borderline VAR decision with Salah's goal and the offside graphic as noted by BeautifulSquare301 on Reddit involved one of those generic footballs. It's absolutely tin pot. He can't take that seriously.

20:29Adam Hurrey:So are you only taking far seriously if it has the correct design on the ball. Yeah, the ball should be branded

20:35Charlie Eccleshare:and has been in other competitions. There's no reason why the FA Cup shouldn't follow suit. You can't have a black and white panelled ball on the VAR decisions.

20:43Adam Hurrey:It is branded properly on the goal-length technology, isn't it? It's got the actual proper design on it.

20:51Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah, but not on this. So how are we supposed to take that seriously? What next? I don't know. Are they all going to wear Sondico boots or something like that? Anyway, footballers' names in things. Next, a little trio. For you, this one came from Oliver Knox. It's from Season 11, Episode 8 of Police Interceptors.

21:14Adam Hurrey:Dogs and guns might not sound like natural bedfellows, but where firearms go, the dog unit usually follows. It's mid-morning in Hartlepool. Jimmy Greaves and police dog Boas are heading out to assist the armed response unit

21:32Charlie Eccleshare:Jimmy Greaves he arrested loads of people before football got rebranded but they don't get counted

21:39Adam Hurrey:fascinating as to why this is still funny isn't it

21:41Charlie Eccleshare:yeah I mean some listeners also share your fascination with that some will say it's not we have had that feedback

21:48Nick Miller:it does matter for him as well being called James Greaves presumably do you think you're just obliged to go Jimmy me like i'd be curious to know the sort of the journey james would discourage it if you were

22:00Charlie Eccleshare:the guy himself oliver knox continues charlie and says uh presumably the dog boas has a surname my hill as well you'd hope so you'd absolutely hope so um next one came from edmund sinnet and this is both a leeds fullback creating his own name with repeated one twos with the winger in front of him and an uncomfortably long passage of players names being listed in possession ball by Tanaka Justin James Justin James

22:36Justin James

22:41Charlie Eccleshare:it's brilliant it works it's like his name in the phone book which depends which way when you start to pick it up but yeah that's that's a lot of interchanges there Charlie I mean Charlie just how many interchanges should it be before it starts to become uncomfortable and how

22:54Nick Miller:in on it do you think Adam Somerton was at that point yeah I think he probably realizes after like the first one and it's like I'm gonna go with this this is quite funny see how long but yeah it had shades that broline darling brilliant I want that to be the cultural reference that he

23:09Adam Hurrey:had in mind Nick and that and it always should be yeah it just it was I mean I suppose after a couple it was almost unavoidable that he kind of he had to kind of follow it through but you Ideally, you would want it to be a more obvious chance emerging so he could do the Brolin Darlene thing.

23:26Charlie Eccleshare:Yet again, not a great advert for footballers' names in things when actually the footballer himself is involved in the creation of his own name, but that's the nuance we get to play with. Finally, this came from Andre Jarnoy. It's footballers' names in employment tribunals. Do you know the name of the security manager at Southampton General Hospital? It's Danny Ings.

23:46Adam Hurrey:Southampton as well. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

23:49Charlie Eccleshare:Knows the city. Has had his injuries, so potentially may know the hospital as well. Probably a private medical care situation though, so probably all right. Anyway, next up, this came from Josh. Here is Middlesbrough's Aidan Morris talking about their 4-0 win at QPR.

24:06Adam Hurrey:Aidan, well played. Just tell us what you think the key behind that victory was today.

24:10Nick Miller:Yeah, I think patience. Patience. We knew it was going to come. We knew anything happened in the sleep, but we're a talented side and I think we we knew to stick to our principles and our style of play and things would open up at the right time it took I think 60-70 minutes to get our second goal and from there it was floodgates but yeah I think just be patient

24:33Charlie Eccleshare:I really like Charlie the idea that it just becomes it was floodgates that cliche deserves to have some more seamless kind of version of itself because it's a great cliche in football and I'm glad that footballers

24:47Nick Miller:are embracing it in that way yeah i mean it's the success to ron atkinson calling him a floodgates job really i don't remember that yeah yeah yeah the kind of early 2000s champions league commentary gives about a manchester united champions league game but yeah so this is kind of he's just elided that further and everyone knows exactly what it means uh yeah nick the natural progression for

25:07Charlie Eccleshare:this is to become absolute floodgates which i i love the rhythm of it i love the concept of it i I love what it evokes. And there's plausible scenario for absolute floodgates, like third, fourth, and fifth goal in quick succession at the start of a second half or something like that.

25:21Adam Hurrey:Yeah, I mean, I suppose this is possibly too new a concept for us to really dig down as to whether this was an absolute floodgate situation. Because it was, I think he said, after the second goal. And I think it ended up 4-0 that game. Is that a floodgate? Does that qualify as floodgates?

25:39Charlie Eccleshare:Possibly not, to be honest. It does need to be something of a quick torrent of goals. I won't go and consult my own book to find out the answer, but trust me, it's in there. Gary Weaver was on duty for Sky at Loftus Road, by the way, and he was experimenting with a slightly different analogy for their third goal before reverting to his usual territory for the fourth.

25:59Adam Hurrey:Hayden Hackney picks it up! Exquisite! Exquisite!

26:09Middlesbrough's team of artists are painting another masterpiece

26:16Adam Hurrey:Tommy Conway just about outweighs Joe Walsh and the Middlesbrough fans have ringside seats for that and the Borough fans are dreaming and why not they've come to West London and they have left Loftus Road in ruins. 4-0 to the Borough.

26:34Charlie Eccleshare:Just a great reversion to typical form there, Charlie. Leaving Loftus Road in ruins. Sacked Loftus Road. How do you feel about his kind of sort of dabbling with the artistry with the first goal there?

26:48Nick Miller:Yeah, I mean, I guess the floodgates nature of this game meant he had more than he maybe thought. Maybe they thought that would be the final flourish, but then there was still another goal. so yeah he had time to deploy the normal one yeah nick i think i prefer my weaver talking about

27:03Charlie Eccleshare:destruction and sort of medieval kind of you know skirmishes rather than artistry really

27:08Adam Hurrey:yeah i think so i think so is there a question that it's quite a small ground does that does that that doesn't really take anything away from the kind of invaded territory x and sacked it or whatever he said it was i think it still works though doesn't it yeah well but it can still be

27:26Nick Miller:a sort of a small ground still be kind of intimidating and yeah you know to sort of escape unscathed and leave it in ruins is still an achievement right well then first half there

27:38Charlie Eccleshare:we'll be back very shortly

27:47Adam Hurrey:when you want your spring break to feel like and your kid's pool day to feel like and your hotel bed to feel like and room service to feel like because at Hilton, hospitality feels like Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay.

28:12Charlie Eccleshare:Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton. For this day.

28:17Adam Hurrey:We all have that dream trip. we've been wishing we could go on. But too often, life, or usually price, gets in the way. That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality. With up to 60 % off hotels and up to 50 % off flights, you can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com and book your next trip today. Go to your happy price. Priceline.

28:48Charlie Eccleshare:They say you should learn something new every day. Like how you should only drink Jägermeister at zero degrees Fahrenheit. Ice cold. Like those frozen cavemen they find. Which makes you wonder, what would a caveman think of Jägermeister? Well, if you served it warm, he'd probably throw it in your face, say, Oonga Boonga, and storm off. And nobody wants that. So drink it cold or not at all. Jägermeister. Damn, that's cold. Drink responsibly. Jägermeister liqueur. 35 % alcohol by volume. Imported by Masked Jägermeister. U.S. White Plains, New York.

29:18Oh, look at that! That is wonderful!

29:47Charlie Eccleshare:Misha's.com to join in the fun. Right, we'll continue the adjudication panel with this from Midfield Runner. They said that Misha Glennie has taken over from Melvin Bragg as the host of In Our Time on Radio 4. Here, he's asking about the historical accuracy of the moment in a Roman gladiator fight when the emperor makes a thumbs up or down gesture. But it seems to be almost the pivotal moment of the show. It's very often shown in Roman art when a gladiator surrendered, holds up his finger there's a recognizable gesture because then you're waiting for that decision which way will that gesture go so though maybe not many gladiators die as a proportion nonetheless

30:25Adam Hurrey:this is a really high risk moment and so it's a very dramatic gesture lots depends on it it's a moment of communication between the emperor or the giver of the games and the crowd and that that compact between them is part of what this arena display is it's a chance for the emperor to show himself to the people for the people in some sense to communicate with the emperor it's a very political moment very communal moment sounds a little bit like waiting for a var result

30:48Charlie Eccleshare:in the premier league first of all charlie such a radio full way of saying that at the end melvin brag would never secondly nick i'm surprised that the thumbs up or down gesture in roman coliseums hasn't been cited as a kind of var precursor before because it is quite similar i love the idea that these crowds they don't know what's going on everyone in the coliseum They've got no idea what's happening. We've got to introduce something.

31:14Adam Hurrey:You can't celebrate a gladiator's victory anymore, can you?

31:19Charlie Eccleshare:I think it's a perfectly good parallel to draw. I really enjoyed that. Thank you, midfield runner. Right, the latest hypothetical that's been put in front of us, Charlie, comes from J18922 on Reddit. How many goals would a player have to score or what performance would they have to have to win the Premier League Player of the Month if they didn't feature in any other games that month? six in a game might swing it but even then i mean yeah because you can imagine this happening for

31:45Nick Miller:like a team's player of the month just on one game so i'm so imagine like in november when ese scored a hat trick in the north london derby he might well have got the in-house player of the month even if he hadn't played another game because it's so you know it's like it's such a big deal But obviously for the whole league, yeah, you've really got to be doing something utterly mad. Yeah, I mean, maybe break, yeah, because that would break the record, wouldn't it? No one's ever got a double hat-trick in the Premier League, have they? That's true. I feel like that might be enough. Eddie Cole got five.

32:16Nick Miller:Yeah, so maybe if you did that, that would just be such a kind of moment that everyone would accept it as a, you know, this is a bit silly, but it's also, what an achievement.

32:26Charlie Eccleshare:And there's no other sort of official way to mark that situation, Nick. so giving them the player of the month might actually do it like it's not perfect but it's a decent way to mark what's a genuinely historic achievement what about if it was a hat trick of

32:39Adam Hurrey:of three absolutely sensational goals do you think that could that that would swing it like you know you throw throwing a bicycle kick and you know a maizey run on a 30 yarder or something like that do you think that would swing it i think it would help actually because it's because it's more of a

32:53Charlie Eccleshare:kind of traditional achievement but done in a way that can't be ignored and it has variety to it It isn't just the blunt force of scoring six. I do like this. I feel like that could swing it.

33:04Nick Miller:And if that hat-trick was widely being heralded as the greatest Premier League hat-trick ever, and you can well imagine that kind of discourse after that sort of hat-trick, then maybe also there are some months, aren't they, with like a fairly chunky international break where there might only be a couple of weekends, maybe, if that was in February as a shorter month. Like, you know, if there weren't loads of games or anything particular else, you know, if no one else had a particular claim, which I'm sure does happen, doesn't it, sometimes? Yeah. You might be like, just give it to the guy who got the ridiculous attrick.

33:40Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah, I think this is perfectly plausible, Nick. This is definitely doable. Maybe not this season, but it will happen. Opta will be all over it. Right. Listener Robbie was attending Burton 0 Stevenage 1 at the weekend, Charlie, and says, I'm not saying this game has been bad, but Happy Hunting Grounds is being played in the away end.

33:56Adam Hurrey:Whoa. We've made it, lads. God, yeah.

34:01Charlie Eccleshare:Anything to improve the away day experience. I don't know what kind of trip Stevenage to Burton is, but it sounds long. I don't think it is, actually.

34:08Adam Hurrey:Stevenage to Burton. It's Stevenage kind of just north of London, Burton in the Midlands. I went through Stevenage on the train yesterday, so I can tell you.

34:15Charlie Eccleshare:It doesn't sound like a direct train link to me.

34:19Adam Hurrey:Yeah, it's on the LNR line.

34:21Charlie Eccleshare:OK, great knowledge from you. Well done. Let's return to the Premier League title race, Charlie. Friend of the pod, Jake Farrell, writes in with the BBC headline of Manchester City blink first in the title race, referring to their draw at home to Nottingham Forest last week. He says it's an absolutely ludicrous use of blink first. The first blink in this race was clearly the Arsenal loss at Manchester United. The blink comes after a period of sustained winning for both teams. I think them and City were on long runs before that. Arsenal actually then blinked again by drawing up Wolves. If anything, this is the third blink.

34:55Charlie Eccleshare:Pathetic. It's true. You can't just arbitrarily begin the blinks again, can you?

35:00Nick Miller:Yeah, there have been so many blinks in this title race. I mean, I guess it's the first blink in this latest little subsection. But yeah, it's not a first blink.

35:11Charlie Eccleshare:You never hear about subsequent blinks, do you, Nick? It's always just the first blink that gets noted.

35:16Adam Hurrey:Close their eyes for an extended period of time or something.

35:19Charlie Eccleshare:right ashley writes in next nick um crossing the divide in fact he says we're having a debate in the football ramble discord can a fan-owned club be just one person like tony bloom owning brighton why does it have to be a collective surely it's better just having the one are brighton fan-owned

35:36Adam Hurrey:uh well i mean speaking as someone who literally wrote what wrote a book on this then no i'm not having that as because he also makes decisions too like rationally to to for it to be to have the kind of fan owned thing as well so yeah that's it's it's not no not having that i don't think

35:56Nick Miller:that's in the spirit of it it's not just like you know a really rich owner who happens to be a fan i don't think that's what's meant by fan owned what about jack walker at blackburn i like the

36:06Charlie Eccleshare:idea i love the possible technicality of this but no no i'm not having that right next up uh sam Taylor writes in Nick you may be familiar with those particularly curious clickbait headlines where they say like a player has issued a 13 word response to a jibe or something like that well there was this clickbait headline of journalist at Craven Cottage shares 10 word West Ham chant aimed at Tottenham now I've never heard a football chant be reduced to its number of words before so first up sensational scenes correct quite a long walk to it as well why why

36:38Adam Hurrey:is the journal where's the journalist come in why is that important well it's responsible

36:43Charlie Eccleshare:journalism to to you know attribute the information to someone so that alone makes the clickbait

36:49Adam Hurrey:headline quite responsible actually it just it doesn't it doesn't add to the i'm not i'm not clicking on that any quicker because a journalist says it well maybe maybe it's because they think it adds an air of authority to it well you know it could have been just some fans say something but if a journalist is repeating it then you're right that sort of thing that could be attributed

37:09Nick Miller:like in the copy i don't think you necessarily need that in the headline that's good might be

37:13Charlie Eccleshare:too too deep in the weeds here but um i'm surprised you need any encouragement to go to westhamzone.com but if you did um it said that as reported by peter smith from craven cottage on sky sports live online coverage of the game charlie it says hammers fans took their chance to swing at spurs with now just a point separating the two sides we're coming for you tottenham hotspur we're Coming for you, sang the travelling contingent in West London. Right, that is technically 10 words, but the chance itself is not 10 words. I think it's 14. We're coming for you. We're coming for you, Tottenham Hotspur.

37:46Charlie Eccleshare:We're coming for you. 14 words, according to Sam Taylor. I'm not going to count them, but how can you get that wrong? Like, come on, this is important.

37:54Nick Miller:I do find the decision-making on these in X word or X letter or whatever it is, It's clearly a fine art and a science.

38:04Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah, I mean, if you're going to deploy the sort of ham-fisted number of words, clickbait headline, Nick, you've got to get the number right. Surely that's the whole point of it is how precise it is.

38:14Adam Hurrey:And getting the precision right, but also there's got to be a sort of upper limit on the number of words. Surely 14 is pushing it a little bit. It surely would be better to deliver a four-word statement or, you know, eight word chant or something like that. It's got to be a bit snappier to be noteworthy.

38:33Charlie Eccleshare:Yeah, the smaller the number of words, Charlie, traditionally the sort of the more brutal, the response and the put down, I guess. That's the whole point of it. The longer the number of words, that just shows how heartfelt the goodbye was in the Instagram statement. Yeah, exactly.

38:46Nick Miller:I was going to say, yeah, sometimes there are those longer ones to emphasise how, or like something, something rant. You want more words, I think, like in astonishing something, because then it's like, wow, that was a real monologue.

38:57Charlie Eccleshare:What's the minimum number of words needed for a rant in such a clickbait headline? You're probably looking at 100 at least. 100 word rant. Don't know. Forget it. 88 word rant. Yeah, maybe. James O 'Rourke writes in next, Nick. And if you thought Keystone Cops was a niche, old-fashioned cultural reference in football, here is Neil Warnock after his Torquayside's 3-0 defeat at Ebsfleet.

39:25Adam Hurrey:I mean what did you think of the goals that we conceded today? Absolutely terrible um I felt you know I mean the crowd the lads were good and all the fans were good and all weren't they you know I think they could see that they were giving everything um I mean the goals the last few weeks

39:41Nick Miller:the goals that they've conceded really have been not comedy band box but really poor really poor from our point of view.

39:49Charlie Eccleshare:Comedy band box have you ever heard this one before? Nope that's a new one for me yeah i think i think it is a very particularly neil warnock reference charlie comedy bandbox was a british tv show that was produced in manchester by abc television from 1962 to 1966 just four years it had a review format in which a variety of comedians perform

40:09Nick Miller:stand-ups and sketches um what a niche reference that is and it's even better that he dismisses using it as if it would be like too obvious yeah i know i know i know what you're thinking yeah I don't want to go down the comedy bandbox route. It's cheap. It's been done. The words comedy bandbox are bandied around. Exactly.

40:30Charlie Eccleshare:Andy Hitchcliffe there for no reason whatsoever. Anyway, speaking of outdated cultural references, it's time for Keys and Grey Corner.

40:53Charlie Eccleshare:Ford Super Sunday.

40:57Charlie Eccleshare:Keyesie not bothering with the FA Cup on B in this weekend, as is his want, but that doesn't stop us. In-stepped listener Lee Wall with the magic words of, here's Richard Keyes hosting the 1993 Indy 500. I mean, before I'd even clicked in it, I knew it was going to be good. I mean, there was no reason why it wouldn't be good, Charlie, right? I mean, how could it not be? So, yeah, early era Sky Sports, Richard Keyes here. It's a three-hour broadcast entirely on YouTube, Nick, which I dutifully skim-watched in its entirety to boil down to less than three minutes of its golden moments. Now, the general vibe to enjoy here is, one, Keyesie's love for our British boy in the Indy 500, and two, his ongoing battle with the American studio pundit, Tyler Alexander, to get him on that very specific bandwagon.

41:49Charlie Eccleshare:wagon. Here we go. Enjoy it in its fullest. Greatest races in the world, the Indianapolis 500, and it's live here on Sky Sports this afternoon. The added attraction, of course, is Nigel Mansell's involvement. Tony Jardine is a PR consultant, has been involved with Nigel Mansell's career in Formula One on and off for the past decade. Few know him better. The greatest race, Tyler, then, the Indianapolis 500?

42:13Nick Miller:Well, everyone says it's the greatest race.

42:16Adam Hurrey:Nigel Mansell we know plenty about He's a born winner Tyler, we're talking a lot Or will be about rookies Can you explain for us just exactly what a rookie is?

42:27Nick Miller:A rookie is like in any other sport It's someone who actually hasn't done The job before

42:32Charlie Eccleshare:Tell us about the track and its dangers Welcome back to the Indianapolis 500 You're looking at the race leader there Or we were Nigel Mansell

42:41Adam Hurrey:Who has risen to the greatest challenge of his life Tyler, has what Mansell has done so far surprised you?

42:49Nick Miller:No, I don't think it's actually surprised me because really he should be able to do that. He's in a very good car with a very good team and he's a race driver. That's what he does.

43:01Charlie Eccleshare:He's loving it. Let's go back to the States. Hearing that Nigel Mansell has apparently just radiated into his pits inquiring what happens when you have to go to the bathroom. This is love. And hasn't he gone well so far today, Nigel Mansell? Now, we're in a yellow. See, I'm getting the jargon. We're in a yellow at Indianapolis. Okay, it's getting very, very interesting. Let's go back to rejoin our colleagues at ABC. Well, that was a bit special, wasn't it? Many congratulations to Emerson Fittipaldi. But Nigel Manso has got third place on his debut drive at the Indianapolis 500. Tyler Alexander, what do you make of that?

43:44Charlie Eccleshare:Well, I think he did a superb job. He kept out of, well, nearly kept out of trouble all day long.

43:51Nick Miller:He's learning, and today he ran very well. So I hope he continues to do that.

43:56Adam Hurrey:It was magnificent, wasn't it? Let's not understate it. It was magnificent. He's done that all afternoon. It was a fabulous drive by Nigel. Our Nige finished third. And that's as far as you're going. Tony?

44:10Charlie Eccleshare:No, he did a good job.

44:12Adam Hurrey:Magnificent job. Very many congratulations to Emerson Fittipaldi as well. Thank you very much, Tyler. Tony, thank you very much.

44:18Charlie Eccleshare:It has been as far as I'm concerned, and I'm sure you too. Very much Nigel Mansell's day, his debut at the Annapolis 500. What a magnificent performance. Privileged to bring it to you. Until the next time, from all of us here, goodbye for now.

44:35Charlie Eccleshare:Oh my God.

44:39Charlie Eccleshare:What a lovely undercurrent of beef that was, Charlie.

44:44Nick Miller:So good, yeah.

44:45Charlie Eccleshare:I think we could say it was magnificent. I think we could say that.

44:48Nick Miller:But the real winner, Nigel Mansell. I mean, they've got Nigel Mansell's PR guy as one of the guests. Yeah. What an incredible broadcast.

44:57Adam Hurrey:Who appeared to be reading from a lever arch file he had on his lap for some reason. What was going on there?

45:02Charlie Eccleshare:That old Tony Jardine, yeah. so many highlights there i mean two incredible sighs a born winner sigh number one was richie key's asking about the dangers of the track and that guy's gonna oh for fuck's sake and then the sigh that keys he gives him at the end yeah yeah that was so good

45:20Adam Hurrey:it was that yeah that was kind of two two hours 50 minutes of him of frustration coming out of this this guy who just will not get on board yeah i mean i did

45:30Charlie Eccleshare:sort of enjoy Keezy's artificial curiosity throughout Charlie but asking him to explain what a rookie is for us Brits

45:38Nick Miller:yeah that was good he was great just at not playing ball and sort of disagreeing with pretty much everything Keezy said

45:45Charlie Eccleshare:the chances of this clip getting to Keezy and him proudly tweeting it out as rightly so just another string to his bow isn't it the Indy 500 Nick just a great broadcaster in his day

45:57Adam Hurrey:the original Indy 500 broadcast

46:00Charlie Eccleshare:over to our friends at ABC

46:03Nick Miller:there is he his incredible voice really is how much he must have loved Mansell that's just like how in his kind of area

46:13Charlie Eccleshare:Kesey and Mansell

46:15Nick Miller:yeah that's just so perfect that's a Joe Hart beer waiting to happen isn't it yeah I'm looking at sort of spotty winners from around that period I think Mansell is the most Liz McColgan the year before Liffin Christie the year after Damon Hill I feel like Mansell's probably the height of that, more than someone like Damon Hill. Because Mansell's like a proper man, isn't he? Yeah, with a tash.

46:37Charlie Eccleshare:Exactly. Right in his wheelhouse. Yeah, thanks, Keezy, for rescuing Keys and Grey Corner today. Thanks to you, Nick Miller, too. Thank you. Thanks to you, Charlie Eccleshare. Thank you. Thanks to everyone for listening. We'll be back on Thursday. See you then.

46:57Nick Miller:This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip-off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Your beer, fit for all times.

47:26Charlie Eccleshare:Shot clocks, big shots, upsets, aces, TGL playoffs are here. First, Atlanta Drive starts their repeat run against Los Angeles Golf Club. Then, Rory's Boston Common Golf and Tiger's Jupiter Lynx face off in their playoff debuts. Who will advance? Keep up. It's playoffs. Tune in Tuesday, March 17th at 6.30 p.m. and 9 p.m. only on ESPN and the ESPN app. Thought Sweetgreen was just salads? Think again. There's a new way to do Sweetgreen. Wrapped and ready. These handheld wraps pack bold flavor and 40-plus grams of protein into something hearty, satisfying, and built for life on the go. From craveable sauces to satisfying textures, they're designed to keep you going without slowing you down.

48:07Nick Miller:So put that fork down. Try the new wraps today in app or at order.sweetgreen.com. Available at participating locations only. Thank you.