The moment the AFCON final peaked, Wenger's Law & football gestures at bus stops

21:54Pure Friday night as well. Great to see. That's it for part one. We'll be back very shortly.

22:27Adam Hurrey:routine with all new Active by Abercrombie. Shop YPB in the app, online, and in stores. During Lowe's Pro Savings Days, save more on what goes into the job. Add power to your lineup with a free DeWalt 20 Volt Max 5 Amp Hour battery when you buy a select DeWalt 20 Volt Max tool. Plus, get up to 35 % off select major appliances from Whirlpool, Maytag, and more. Get the job done right. Keep more in your pocket. That's Pro Savings Days. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid through 327. Selection varies by location. Raw supplies last. Start your day with Quaker Protein Instant Oatmeal. The instant oatmeal ready to help you tackle whatever your day brings.

23:12Like wrinkling your toddler into their car seat. That was fun. Coaching your 6th grader soccer team. Go girls! And carrying all the groceries in one trip. Try Quaker Protein instant oatmeal, granola and bars. Great taste and a good source of protein. Quaker. Bring out the good.

23:37Oh, look at that! That is wonderful!

23:45Welcome back to Football Clichés. This is the Adjudication Panel. A reminder that you can sign up for Dreamland. Episode 15 of Dreamland is out now. It's all about Baller League and the not-quite-rise of televised six-a-side football. A wonderful, rip-roaring, brief history of all of that. For just£5.99 a month, you can sign up for Dreamland, get ad-free listening of all of our episodes, and two episodes a month of Dreamland, our exclusive show. Just go to dreamland.footballcliches.com. Now, part two begins with this from BeautifulSquare301, Nick. Reflecting on the worst possible FA Cup draw outcomes.

24:20For me, they say, these are some of the worst combinations, especially in the earlier rounds. Mid-table Prem team versus Mid-table Prem team. Both will play weakened teams despite having nothing else on and somehow be shown on BBC because of name recognition. Yeah, this doesn't stir the soul, does it? I mean, teams from the same division generally isn't a thrill, but yeah, Mid-table Prem versus Mid-table Prem.

24:40Adam Hurrey:Yeah, that's the worst. Your heart sinks at Fulham v Bournemouth being on TV. The only thing about it, Dave, is that you will pretty much take any game live on BBC because it feels like a novelty. It feels like a deluxe novelty to have live football on the BBC. And it feels like you're obliged to watch it. Not because you pay your licence fee, but because if you don't watch it, it might never happen anymore and it'll be taken away from you. Yeah, I know what you mean. And who was playing last week on Man City and Newcastle in the Carabao semi-finals, which was on ITV. And my mum started texting me.

25:13She was watching it. It was very strange. But she obviously just flicked on expecting to see Corey or whatever was normally on on a Tuesday or Wednesday night and just thought she'd settle in and watch the first leg of the Carabao semi-final. That's good. Good that they're scraping in viewers, residual viewers from the terrestrial lot. Yeah. Next up, Dave, upper half championship team at home to a mid-table Prem team. Stoke or Fulham, for example. Nothing to get excited about. Again, yeah, it doesn't really, it's not magic enough, is it? I mean, it wouldn't even be an upset if it got pulled off, really.

25:41That is, that's the thing. It's like you're trying to weigh up. Right, yeah. Is this an upset? Are the championship team actually doing too well in the championship to be bothered about the FA Cup? Are they actually less bothered about it than the Premier League mid-table team would be? A terrible tipping point, isn't it? That actually, yeah, very good one.

25:56Adam Hurrey:Yeah. I think there will be a slight difference between, if it was like Coventry, who have been away from the Premier League for a long time, and Stoke, who is still 10 years or whatever it is, but within kind of relatively recent memory. If it was someone who we're not quite so familiar with in the Premier League, there is a slight difference there. It definitely matters. It definitely matters about your familiarity as well because it gives it a certain freshness. Finally, Dave, lowest-ranked team misses out on Dream Tie and gets a League 1 or League 2 team. A game they will lose with minimal glamour, doubly bad if it's away.

26:30Yeah, the kind of anticlimactic follow-up draw for someone like Macclesfield, for example, if they got someone really no mark, that would have been a bit of a shame. Yeah, this always comes up. and I'm always a bit conflicted on it because, and the point being made there that they'll lose anyway, I guess that is still the most likely outcome. But I still think there's something you can hold on to. If you are a Macclesfield, the chances of Lightning striking twice and you beating Brentford again, surely they're, in reality, they are slimmer than if you drew a League Two team who you're only a few divisions below.

27:01I do agree, but Nick, I'm a big believer in sort of momentum in these situations. You want to go and just do the same thing again, right? Because that's FA Cup law suggests that that's more likely to happen, even if logic doesn't.

27:11Adam Hurrey:Yeah, and even, I mean, it seems very harsh to Brentford, but the kind of dream one, two is you beat the Premier League team, then you get a massive Premier League team away. So with that kind of in mind, Brentford almost, it's not, Brentford at home is not a disappointment, but it almost feels a little bit kind of, he would have liked someone better for them. Exactly, and that kind of neither one nor tether was very much reflected in John Rooney's reaction when he was on the draw. They immediately went to him and go, oh, we're happy with that, happy with that. And he was just like, I don't know, I'm weighing up all these things in my mind.

27:46I don't know. Oh, they're actually quite good this season, actually, aren't they? Exactly. Tough upset pieces that might play into our hands. I don't know.

27:52Adam Hurrey:I got home again. It was a ball ache to get everything ready the last time. So do we want to come in our house with that? Yeah. But then also not bothered about going down to the GTEC either, really. Meanwhile, it looks like Arsene Wenger's daylight offside insanity will be voted out or however they do it over at IFAB. But according to a piece that Michael Cox wrote for The Athletic the other day, Wenger has other sort of brainstorms up his sleeve. He's also suggested legalising corners that bend out of play and then drift in again. Instinctively, Nick, I didn't like this. And I thought it actually might be all right because it's easy to police.

28:28In fact, it's probably easier to police than it currently is. It's probably in the spirit of football. If the ball starts and it ends on the pitch, you'll probably be OK.

28:35Adam Hurrey:The problem I have with quite a few of these things is what problem is it solving? Like what? Who is kind of sitting there watching someone fuck up a corner and go, wow, there's a flaw in the rules. It's gone out of play and the team have now got the ball. What's the deal there? Well, I mean, you know, Dave, as always, there's a kind of scenario creep with this sort of thing. Your first thought is, okay, what's the most typical situation that happens now that it could be solving? And obviously it's corners that go marginally out of play. And so the line has got to spot it and that sort of stuff.

29:08But then I suppose if the rules were changed and you were allowed to bend a corner out, imagine how, what we could end up with a corner that's properly bent out and then ends up right, right on top of the goalkeeper at the far post. So it's these scenarios that you've got to bear in mind. It could be absolutely absurd. And then, you know, some stadiums will be able to accommodate that. Exactly. Finally, the London stadium is going to come into its own. You can get it all the way around behind the goal and bend back in on the other side of the pitch. A fan in the front row trying to head it away.

29:35Well, it's out of play, technically. There will be some stadiums lower down or whatever where you'd be able to bend it. It would shave the tops of the heads of the crowd or whatever. But, I mean, I suppose in a way, logically, like the famous Gareth Bale goal in the Copa del Rey final. Oh, yes. Players can run off the pitch and come back on. Why can't the ball? Should have got booked. Yeah. Imagine a referee running alongside him going, that's a yellow, off you go. Right, next up, there was an article on the BBC, Nick, headlined, what does XG predict for the rest of the season? And it had a, reassuring for some people, thousands of comments underneath, the vast majority of them full of derision about the whole concept of this piece, regardless of what it actually said.

30:19My favourite comment came from Mr Whiteside, who simply wrote, might as well ask Ali G.

30:25Adam Hurrey:very kesey I love it Dave I think he's got some serious poise about it yeah obviously doesn't bear any scrutiny whatsoever but the sigh of derision from you there was superb Ali G has probably done the predictions with Loro if not Crisanne does he I don't know is he a bit early for that they've had people in character haven't they yeah maybe Borat or what was the... More likely Borat, yeah, or some of the other ones. Bruno. Was it Bruno? Was the flamboyant fashion person? Yeah, I can't find any... Can't find Ali G and Loro from a cursory search. People could write in and let us know if anyone's ever done Prem Predictions with Loro or Chris Sutton in character.

31:14Just need to know if that... Let's see if Sacha Baron Cohen has done it himself. He seems too highbrow. I don't think he has either. Why would he? Right, a hypothetical one for you next, Dave. FPL Sharpie writes in and says, I was having a chat with a mate inspired by the ridiculous could-you-score-a-goal-in-the-prem chat that occasionally gets spouted about if you'd be able, and how many minutes or games it would take, to win a foul in the Premier League. This is assuming that winning a singular foul is your only aim and none of the opposing players know this. I mean, I actually think this might be harder than scoring, Dave.

31:46How would you go about it? It would be hard because you're obviously not going to really have the ability or pace to dribble past anyone to be brought down i guess your your best chance is probably winning a soft one in an aerial duel where you go up with the other player and just throw yourself to the floor yeah and they've come through the back of you because they're bigger and stronger than you so you probably would actually hurt and you can't actually legitimately claim it as a foul my thought nick was maybe getting the ball to feet back to goal but crucially a long way from goal and just having the defender grapple you for so long that it gets to the point where referee just goes oh for fuck's sake you're right there it is so no obvious foul has taken place there's nothing violent but you know the play has essentially stopped for so long that referee just goes yeah do you know what i'll just it's like a boxing referee stepping in yeah maybe or you could

32:32Adam Hurrey:maybe go with and this would take a little bit of um arrangement but you get if you get the ball and you kind of you try and make sure your back is turned to the nearest possible marker and then you do the kind of back in and then throw yourself forward thing oh right that takes practice though So it's a subtle art. It's not the easiest way of doing it, but I think that's plausible. Quite a conundrum. But yeah, tricky either way. Similar to what you suggested, but maybe a bit easier, is marking a corner. Oh, okay. And you can engage in a bit of grappling and then go down. That's a really easy one to win as well.

33:10I mean, other easy fouls, for example, Dave, are the kind of at the corner flag, attacker up your arse, and you just sort of go over. but you know as a as a civilian just being transported into a premier league game it's quite a risky situation to even find yourself in you know i don't think i could even engineer the situation for myself anyway they'd get round you they'd be crossing the ball in before you even know it so yeah okay so some subtle art required next up this came from stefan a little story for you nick he says i was waiting for the minibus to pick me up to go to forest away i'm an arsenal fan a regular bus on the route approached the bus stop in wanting to signal to the driver that i didn't need him to stop i did the first thing that came to mind the over-exaggerated no penalty arm waving it worked a treat he held up a hand of thanks i nodded jobs are good is that is that the gesture you would go for in this situation i tend to be a kind of performatively step back from the edge

33:59Adam Hurrey:of the road guy yeah i i'm i'm performatively step back from the edge of the road if i was if it was a hand gesture i think in that scenario i would have panicked and done the the like the twirly arms substitution thing as trying to symbolize no just keep going mate but which obviously wouldn't it doesn't work but i think that's that's that's what my panic's brain would go to well he might in that scenario he might stop and think you're trying to tell him that he hasn't rolled over the sign on the front of the bus yes possibly yeah what an interpretation that would be um i mean my utmost in my mind nick would be two things here one i want it to be as subtle as possible i don't want to make a spectacle of myself to people who might be standing near me and two i don't want to appear rude to the driver so you don't want to waft them away going nah mate nah so yeah just um remove yourself from view i think yeah you couldn't do play on either that's that's too that's too open to misinterpretation as well i think what like arms outstretched arms outstretched and kind of play advantage yeah yeah you probably think you want the ramp yeah exactly there's lots of pitfalls I think the simplest one is just look at your phone and just turn away just drive straight past you oh I had no idea mate sorry not my problem see you later Stefan I think you found the happy medium there right over to Serie A now Milan versus Lecce on TNT Sport Nicholas Fulcrug opening his account for the Rossoneri Matt Smith sounding a little too casual when the cross comes in on commentary Gabby up for Salamac who's done really well to keep it Oh, hello.

35:34There it is. There it is. Now, I object to this. Oh, hello. When a heading opportunity appears, Dave, it's not the same as the Tildeslian. Hello. Hello. Here we go. When Gerrard scored what looked like a consolation in the 2005 Champions League final, it's a completely different kettle of fish. Did it look like a consolation? At the time, it looked like a consolation.

35:57Adam Hurrey:Yeah, yeah. Well, not a consolation, but we weren't to know what was to unfold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't mind it though I'm quite enjoying Matt Smith's sort of late career foray into commentary Yeah I mean it's good to have strings to your bone but yeah he sort of just casually just rocks up on Sunday nights Nick as a Serie A commentator we know he's multilingual we know he can handle it I actually quite like this because it's kind of he was sort of a little bit too low key when the chance was obviously kind of presenting itself but it kind of fits in a it's a cross into the box it's a player notorious for being you know the big man yeah hello here's his chance there's a header in the box and they scored I don't mind it yeah maybe appropriately casual and too bob for the spectacle of Nicholas Fulcrogg playing for AC Milan she shouldn't be allowed like this is AC Milan we're talking about this is so snatching I need Calcio Milan yeah we have commented on the decline of Milan in recent years yeah he doesn't sit right with me yeah he shouldn't be playing there especially when you're coming from West Ham as well what's going on right I want to move over to snooker finally this is from the BBC coverage of the Masters snooker final as John Higgins trails Kyron Wilson 5-3 going into the final session.

37:09John Parrott here producing the most over-engineered version of this classic I've ever heard. 3-5 down is a scoreline that John Higgins has faced several times in the quarters and the semi-finals. I think the one thing we've learned this week, do not write off the scot, John. Now, if you could buy a John Higgins dictionary and if you look up the word quit it's a see someone else it's simple as because john higgins just doesn't know what that word means that's a ludicrous situation john higgins dictionary i can't even really work out what's happened there i think that would not only a thing that wouldn't be in the john higgins dictionary but a thing that an entry that would be there but leads you somewhere else what a

37:50Adam Hurrey:ludicrous book just make more sense if you if this john higgins dictionary did exist but the The word quit wasn't in it. You go to the queue and quit. Just quit. It's not there. It's not there. Because he doesn't compute. He doesn't understand. That would be better. That would be better. But it just went on and on, Dave. It was just tremendous. What's the word of the year in the John Higgins dictionary? No idea. Send that press release round. Anyway, speaking of old timers that just won't quit, it's time for Keys and Grey Corner.

38:29Ford Super Sunday.

38:34A fascinating seven days in the world of Richard Keyes. One word for it. Yes, indeed. Bookended by this headline in the Daily Mail, which simply read, disgraced ex-Sky Sports anchor Richard Keyes smirks while leaving clarages with Eamon Holmes as he breaks cover for first time since reigniting 30-year feud with Gabby Logan. Fucking hell. What's the best bit of that? I like Brakes cover.

39:00Adam Hurrey:Yeah, it's obviously breaking cover because he hasn't... Eamon, Eamon, is the coast clear? You lead the way. You're the decoy. Obviously completely partridge. That goes almost without saying. The Mirror, Nick, had a caption to the photo of them leaving Claridge's by saying that Richard Keyes looked unapologetic. that's his that's his that's his default setting i'm afraid the the kind of yeah the the implication that if he he was supposed to be looking apologetic like he was raising two hands like it kind of didn't foul him didn't foul him thing yeah it's either that or looking sheepish i guess that's the only two options in this situation but yeah he was always going to look unapologetic but let's leave that that crass affair behind uh because uh on more topical matters kesey's got the scoop, Dave, on Pep Guardiola.

39:51I'll say again, I think nailed on, gone at the end of the season. But, but, do not rule out, and if this happens, remember where you heard this first, do not rule out him leaving this week. This week. Wow. And if he goes this week, Maresca will be in charge for the match against Wolves next weekend. Wow. City will be apoplectic, I've said that. They will deny it, of course. but it's on his mind, I'm telling you, it's on his mind to leave this week. Enough is enough. Wow.

40:26Adam Hurrey:That would be one of your best, fella. If it comes off. Yes. That would be one of your best. If it doesn't, they'll say, remember that mug stood in front of that screen. He's gone at the end of the year anyway. So, I mean, that's a given. Gone. Yeah. And I think company then comes into the frame. If he goes this week, Maresca. I was going to say, yeah. I would think if he goes this week, he's more likely Maresco, who's out of work, than company, who's at Bayern Munich. I mean, so much to enjoy here. Just the sheer certainty in Kesey's voice, Dave, about his scoop being correct. The kind of Columbo-esque walk to the front of the studio with his finger wagging as well.

41:02As walking away with Grey behind him. But. But. He'd be a good Columbo, actually, wouldn't he? Yeah. And then finally, Nick, Andy Grey praising him and suggesting that this might be one of his best stories. I feel like it's either us or HMRC, and he needs to go back and do a little spreadsheet of Keezy's scoops about whether they've worked out or not. Salah to Saudi and that sort of stuff. I don't think he's got a good record on this at all, has he? I don't think he has. It feels like he's a bulk man,

41:28Adam Hurrey:so he'll make a lot of these, and then he'll kind of sift through the ones that, as inevitably some of them will turn out to be right. Yeah, that's true. The bit I particularly liked was not just the certainty that he was right or the confidence that he was right. But the certainty that anyone will give a fuck about this, that City will deny it, of course, because I said it on BE, so they'll have to put out some kind of statement. I mean, you know, who at City is going to pay the slightest amount of attention to this? Well, I mean, it's such a strong thing to say. I don't know whether you can or can't give any insight, Adam or Nick, but would people now be checking this out off the back of this?

42:11I mean, you've probably got to, haven't you? It stuns me. I mean, I don't know. I feel like I should be less surprised than anybody else about this, Nick. But, you know, as soon as whenever Kesey makes declarations like this, it makes headlines on sort of various kind of aggregator websites that, you know, would normally be looking for more, you know, stringent information, I would say. And, you know, I like the fact that he chucked in a kind of, you know, they'll probably be saying this mug on the screen or whatever, which has softened it slightly. But it sounds like he does know. But it's pretty low stakes, Nick.

42:41There's nothing, it's not going to cost him anything if he's wrong. He's just going to go back into the shadows again, isn't he?

42:46Adam Hurrey:I suspect that it might, it would be kind of, someone will send a message saying, look, I know it's Keezy, but can you just ask the question? That's exactly how it tends to get phrased in an unnamed outlet Slack channel. So yes, I know it's this twat, but could we look into it? Could we just check just in case? And kind of, to a point, rightly so, because even the most kind of ludicrous people do occasionally get, information right and you don't look like a complete tit if you if it was out there indy kesey who knows um right yeah or this one we'll see how this one turns out thanks to you nick miller thank you thanks to you david walker thank you uh thanks to everyone for listening we'll be back on thursday see you then

43:34there aren't many guarantees in life your energy won't always show up your genes won't always fit But I promise you this, if Just Thrive Probiotic doesn't work for you, I'll refund every penny. Hi, I'm Tina, Just Thrive co-founder. And while most probiotics die in your stomach acid, Just Thrive is clinically proven to arrive 100 % alive for gut health results you could feel. Better digestion, less bloat, healthy immunity, improved sleep, and clear skin. Take the Just Thrive Probiotic Challenge today. Visit justthrivehealth.com slash podcast. Take control today with Just Thrive.

44:37Adam Hurrey:Newsroom. Listen today. Recently, our company's softball team lost the big game by one run. Then Dale tried to console us with the quote, winning isn't everything. Dale's a loser. I play to win, like early payoff from Bet365. If my team goes up big, I get paid out instantly, even if they blow the lead later. Sound familiar, Dale? Bet365. Winning is everything. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 21 plus only. Must be physically located in Illinois. TNCs apply. In-app only.