Introducing...Game's Gone: The Steve Bracknall Podcast

0:00This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. If there was a big red button that would just demolish the internet, I would smash that button with my forehead. From the BBC, this is The Interface, the show that explores how tech is rewiring your week and your world. This isn't about quarterly earnings or about tech reviews. It's about what technology is actually doing to your work, your politics, your everyday life. And all the bizarre ways people are using the internet. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:44Hello, Football Daily listeners. I'm Steve Bracknell, Assistant Manager of the Royal Oak FC. And you're listening to Games Gone, the Steve Bracknell podcast. As Assistant Manager of the Royal Oak FC in the fifth tier at Sheffield Sunday Imperial League, You may have seen me going vital online with my rant about Sunday League football. I'm on a mission to get the footballing world back onto the right track, direct from our changing room, helped by first team manager Paul Sampson and Bob the Bucket, club physio. Our podcast is on BBC Sounds, but our first team manager Paul has made a backroom deal with the bosses of Five Live to showcase some of our best bits of the podcast so far.

1:28You can listen to all of our previous and future episodes on BBC Sounds and you can watch us on YouTube.

1:41Steve, do you want to provide a little bit of background about how we ended up here? It's been an absolute rollercoaster ride, Paul. We formed, didn't we? 97. Taproom at Royal Oak Pub in 1997. We formed a club. About 15 years ago, we started filming clips. It's been an absolute viral success. And I mean viral. Viral, viral. And are you finding fame, Steve? Absolutely. Like water off a duck's back. Listen, I'm a sparky. I'm an assistant manager. Fame, celebrity. Not bothered for it. I want to win on a Sunday. End of. Bob, how are you feeling? Buzzing? Loved it. Okay. Don't you expand too much, Bob.

2:19Jesus Christ. And here we are with the BBC. I mean, it doesn't get any sort of bigger and better, does it? It's about time. That's all I'll say. What do you mean? We've had to jump through some rate hoops to get this. No, let me say it, Paul, because it's been burning up inside of me. We've had to do... Bob, have we jumped through some hoops to get this off the ground? Pilot light or something we had to do. We had to do a pilot? Like you'd been marked in GCSEs. It's a process. Then we had to fill out this form, that form, don't say that, yes, say that. It's absolutely done my caking, because to be frank with her, they should have jumped on this 12 months ago.

2:48But I have got a couple of bones to pick. Go on. Number one, why are you presenting? Well, obviously, I'm the first team manager at Royal Oak, Steve. You know, I've done presentations at work. PH7. Neutral. Boring. That's what you mean. Don't forget, it's my name above door. Game's gone. The Steve Bracknell podcast. Because you said to me, before we went viral, you deal with all that, Steve. You did PR and marketing. And now BBC have turned up in the chariot. You want to be centre stage. Sorry. I'm happy to be a passenger, mate. You go for it. You drive the ship. I think it's probably felt you were better off in more of a secondary punditry role.

3:20Co-coms. I've got you, mate. I know the gig. Carry on. All right, so BBC, obviously... And I'll tell you now, for nothing, they're not cancelling me or diluting me. Nobody's trying to... No, I know what they're like. They'll try and push you down, push you down to be yes men. Well, it's not happening, all right? Steve, nobody's trying to make you... VAR. Inverted wing-backs. False nines. Over-anal... Referees on punditry table. Now, croissants. Get rid of them and get rid of grapes. What's croissants? No, I don't care what they're called. We're not Neville's mob. Pseudo-intellectuals. Roy Keane drinking Earl Grey tea.

3:56I don't care for it. I'm going to bring it back. Because the game has well and truly gone. Bring it back to what? It's roots. Listen, they've put us a nice spread on here. Got a pan of chocolate here. Café Tia. It's overkill. We don't need it. I'm here to talk football. I'm here to talk oak. And that's all I'm here for, Paul. You've chopped enough of them grapes. I'm only here to push my club forward. Can I have a bacon sandwich? You can have what you want, Bob.

4:27The other week we went down London to visit none other than Robbie Williams. Robbie, thank you and welcome to Games Gone, the Steve Bracknell podcast. Brilliant. Thank you for having me, lads. Thank you. Big honour for us. 30 years as a solo artist and in many ways you've returned to where it all started, the 90s. Britpop is the new album. Yeah, I'm a big fan of words And Brit pop I do British pop And also You do it well and all, Robbie I must say Thank you very much I must say, mate Thank you, bud And I was, you know What I wanted to do with this album Was imagine that I've just left Take That And now knowing what I know What album would I now make?

5:11And it turns out It's a better album than my first one But there's no angels on it I took Deborah, my wife, to see the film, and we've obviously seen the doc. How's it been, seeing yourself on the big screen? Ah, Nicky went by the way. She absolutely loved it. That Better Man. It's called Better Man, isn't it? That's documentary. Were you dressed as a monkey? No, it was a CGI monkey. I wasn't dressed. Have you not seen it? I've seen it. I thought it were you in a suit. No, it was CGI. All right. Yeah, for the whole of the movie, and I'm in bits of it, but I don't know which bit I'm in and which bit I'm not.

5:49Yeah, but you saw it. I've watched it. I went to the cinema. She took a big gang of them from Oak. They got a minibus. Brilliant. She said she was obsessed with you. No, but Steve, it was brilliant. I said, I haven't watched it, but she said I'll be frank with it. Can I ask you a question? Oh, you want an open book, man? Okay, because I'm losing my hair. This is all powder and scaffolding there. Can you see the powder? Well, I can't see your scalp, so it's working. Yeah, yeah. Now, how long ago did you lose your hair? About 2010. Mine went in about a two-week period. We'd had a slumping form. I was worried.

6:24Our nicky were on my back. And I looked down in the shower like that, and I could see it, and I thought I had a decision to make at that point, and I decided to do it gracefully. Did you really? Or was it straight away you thought it's all off? You weren't thinking of, like, do you know what a hair system is? He clubbed on for a bit, he had an Alan Shearer Island for a... I did have a bit of it, but it looked like an N, like a McDonald's, and I thought, I'm not doing it. And our Nicky said, Steve, she owns a salon, our Nicky, she does nails, dermaplaning, job lot, she'll sort your life if you're ever in town.

6:59And she said, Steve, come on. Did you mourn the loss of having... I bet you at some point you had a long, shaggy... Oh, I'll show you, I'll send you the picture. Did you ever have curtains like a boy back then? I had a pan head, like an oasis pan head. What does pan head mean? Like a Liam Gallagher S96 sort of clinging to your ears sort of. A shatter-eye kidder, that sort of chaggy thing. What's happening? Can I, would you mind taking? Okay. We look like a pair of boys. Michael Stark from Aurea. Have you ever, ever had hair? Yeah. Okay. Mullet. I remember you having hair. I remember you having hair.

7:35Steve, I don't mean to be awful. We do need to ask Robbie some meaningful questions. He's in meandering, not me. Obviously, you've had your feuds in the 90s with Famously and Take That, which is covered in your film, and again with Gallagher Brothers. Steve's been having some problems with a rival of ours called Brian Marshall from Nags Head. We wondered if you could offer Steve maybe some words or advice on conflict resolution. Well, what I was noticing the other week is, you know Engelbert Umperdinck? Yeah. Did you know Engelbert Umperdinck and Tom Jones have had a feud for all of their professional careers?

8:10About what? I don't know. It's probably jealousy and resentment. I feel clean. I think, well, I think they, okay. Well, what I was going to... Like a Ferguson-Wenger sort of rivalry, or they actually hate each other. I think they hate each other, but what I was going to say is that, like, I think they're both in their 80s, and it still goes on today. There's no resolve for either. Say it with me and Brian Marshall. Let me ask you this question. Who would win in a fight between Engel, Humperdinck, and Tom Jones? Tom Jones Tom Jones Tom Jones No actually With a big Barrel-chested welchman Yeah Splattery Hands like spades But like Engelbert Humperdinck's Like your size Is like Is it Come all out on TV Alright then Take that We're artists Okay We'll do this now Yeah let's do it now Okay Well we can start off With Mark Owen Right at the bar He's getting relegated Because he's just like At the side going Stop it lads It's not worth it But it is worth it and then because now we've got Gary Barlow who is Britain's youngest black belt which is true really?

9:16no way up until Dane Bowers is that why you never had a fake meeting? well he did I think it was just verbal just verbal with me and Gaz look you wouldn't want to start on a black belt though would you let's be honest no but I mean Bob let the blog speak ok Howard Donald before take that panel beater by day ballroom dancer by night you've got live dexterity mixed with Man strength. He's a brute. Then you've got Jason Orange is from Withenshaw. Marco in fifth, bottom at pile. Yeah, I'm still working it out. I'm working it out. You were next to bottom then? No. I'm also the tallest in take that.

9:51Nobody knows that. Nobody knows that I'm six foot one. Bigger than you're looking real. Thank you. What position were you on a Sunday league? Left back. Left back. Left back? Yeah. I'd have you down as an attacking midfielder. I'd have you down as a maverick by a winner. Addictable. I feel like we need to have this top five right. OK. Sorry. I've got to back myself. So, number one. Yeah. Good lad. Yeah. Oh, good lad. Back your son. Yeah. Back your son. Yeah, even I don't believe me. I wouldn't like to fight you, Robbie. Well, even I don't believe me, but I'm going with it. Then it's Howard. Then it's Jason.

10:27Then it's Gary. Then it's Mark Owen. That makes sense to me. Let's grab a piece of it in. And who would have Nicky's favourite? Mark Owen. Yeah.

10:41Now for a word from our sponsors. Sick of the same old feel under the feet? Want to feel something firmer? Could have carpet, Dave. Get a coat. The man knows his grippers from his non-grippers.

10:59Carpet, Dave. Carpets done right. Ondalé, Ondalé, away we go. Brilliant. A bit concerned about the legalities with advertising. Stop panicking, man. If they've got a problem with you, send them to me. Okay, we'll talk about it. He's got to get a little clip, hasn't he?

11:23If there was a big red button that would just demolish the internet, I would smash that button with my forehead. From the BBC, this is The Interface, the show that explores how tech is rewiring your week and your world. This isn't about quarterly earnings or about tech reviews. It's about what technology is actually doing to your work, your politics, your everyday life, and all the bizarre ways people are using the internet. Listen on bbc.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

11:58From a small village on the banks of the River Nile. Everybody call me Mohamed, but in a short name or nickname, they call me Mo. To the biggest stages of world football. Goes for the corner! Mohamed Salah! Salah is more than just a player. He's an icon, a symbol, a king. It's six-thin! And Salah rips off his shirt! Mohamed Salah represents a dream for Egyptians, for Muslims, for Africans. More than just a football player, he gave us hope. I'm Kelly Cates. This is Sporting Giants, Mo Salah. Listen on BBC Sounds.

12:40In this section, we call up with the newly crowned king of the jungle, Angry Ginge. He was the king of the streamers, now he's the jungle VIP. With Ruby Wax and his mate Jack, he's the face of ITV. Ginge, credit where credit's due, mate. You've gone in, got a call up, strolled through, and he's only going to want it. I'm impressed, mate. Thank you. Thank you very much, mate. It was an absolute honour, privilege. And then, of course, back to reality. Now I'm on a Steve Bracknell podcast. I'll bring you down a peg or two, mate. I'll let you know where your bread's buttered, mate. Trust me. Thank you.

13:19Thank you. My auntie Shirley knows who you are now, and she's 90. You've officially landed in the mainstream. Perfect. Tell her I said thank you for watching. I want to get into some jungle questions, mate. Straight off, Matt. Between me and you, this ain't go out. We'll edit it out. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Lips are sealed. What were they sliding you behind cameras? No, this is obviously growing up. You were hearing the rumors. There's a burger van. There's this, there's that. Let me tell you something. You were getting a wood fried pizza. Trust me. If I was getting a wood fried pizza, I'd have been having the time of my life, mate.

13:59Take what you see on TV and times it by 10. That's how hard it is. It is so bad. I've known you 12 months. I'd call you a colleague. Not yet, mate. Tell me. Yeah. No, no, Steve, Steve, trust me, mate. I'd ask for clean water, if anything. Clean water that didn't chase the smoke. How do you wash your arse in jungle? In the shower. In the shower? Where's the shower? There's a massive waterfall. Someone clearly didn't watch it. Cheers, Steve. There's a waterfall. There's a waterfall, cold water, freezing cold water. Or there's a pond. If you go in the pond, there's leeches, there's ticks, there's all that.

14:40So you put yourself at risk there. But yeah, I went into the pond and the shower. You just have to wash it. It's proper. It is proper, mate. It is more proper than I can put into words. Promise me. Hand on heart, mother's life. I'll tell you one thing that did happen that didn't get heard. Go on. H nearly died in there. Get lost. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. So one of the main things when we're all in there is when we stood up, we'd go ridiculously lightheaded, right? Like we'd have to go and see me. I went and spoke to a medic about it and stuff like that. It was like electrolytes and all that to help us.

15:14However, there was a day H did it and his legs went to jelly. And then he went for a wee and he kept having to go back because he needed a wee constantly or something. So they had to take a wee sample off him. I think he was out of camp for about 40 minutes getting medical. He wasn't well at all. What causes dizziness? I wish I knew, mate. I'm not even joking. It would literally be as simple as me standing up now, and then you just go really lightheaded. Probably a lack of hydration, food, salt, sugar, literally everything. You don't see that side of it, because ITV would be sued. Yeah, I know it.

15:49Do you know what my worry is now, Ginge? What is your worry, Steve? You've done that. You've come from grassroots. You've come from streets of Salford. I've seen old memes and edits, one young lad from Salford with a dream. And now, let's be frank, you're practically going to turn into Dermot O 'Leary. That's what they're going to make you laugh. Where's that come from? It's come from my head. I know how the game works. They're going to media train you, dilute you, and you'll be presenting this morning with Alison Hammond. Right. And Dermot Olele, would he stand 90 minutes on the sideline the weekend after he got back of winning the jungle?

16:30No, he wouldn't, but that's what I went and did. Don't ever accuse me of losing my roots. I'm glad you brought it up. Let's move on to football, because I'm done with jungle, and I'm sure you are. Let's start with Ballers League, shall we? For some context, listeners, Angri Ginge manages a team called Yanaited in Baller League, which is a six-a-side tournament. Idris Elba's in it, Mika Richards. all the dripping summer eight names. Angry Ginge. I get a call 24 hours before this man enters jungle. Ginge is going away for six weeks. Where's he going? We can't tell you. I says, all right, I'm worried about you.

17:06And I'm going to be open and I'm going to be frank with you, Ginge. Yeah. That dressing room, that changing room, I've walked in. There were nerves. Chins on floor. Morale at an all-time low. They couldn't look each other in the eyes. I've been at Royal Oak 27 years and I've never had to graph like I did with that squad in two weeks. They were on life support. Beep. Beep. Beep. And I said to them, where there's life, there's hope. I'm here to resurrect you. I got a last minute draw in first game. I got a last minute draw in second game. What thanks did I get? They got Bobboys in next game. I guess a voice message off your mates who've took over and got a win After I've been building bricks up, I thought, oh, they're going to message me.

17:55Congratulations. About a minute after full-time whistle. Thanks, Steve. We've got the job done. I'm sorry you're not good enough. Well, listen, I just want to say a massive thank you for going down and, you know, making sure that ship weren't sinking. And obviously, listen, it doesn't work out for everyone, does it? Obviously, it doesn't work out for everyone. You've come in. You've obviously failed to win a game. in two games. I've got the lads in from the Bobbys. They've turned up. They've nailed top of the league. I'm thinking, right, we'll stick with them then. Because everyone, not many people don't mind a draw.

18:30But if you're having a draw every game, Steve, it's just boring. When did you come out at Jungle last week? It was Sunday, just gone. Seven nights and you've got a thank you. Seven nights it's took him to thank you for keeping his season alive. And I'll tell you now, if you go on to win it at O2 Arena, Bracknell wants a winner's medal. That's another thing. While you've been away, I've been in Match at their studio. I've been at Wayne Rooney podcast. Oh, wow. Talking to Wayne Rooney, he's a very good friend of yours. I'm going to be honest, he said a lot of good things about you. He also told me, and this is an exclusive, that Colleen gave you some tips before you went into the jungle.

19:09She did indeed. Colleen gave me tips, yeah. I got tips off Roman and Sam Thompson as well. Corruption. How's that corruption? Sorry, he's not doing your homework. That's inside knowledge. To you right, it is, yeah. And what were tips? Can you share the tip? Yeah, I got told which beds were the best beds to claim. And I got told to always empty water out before you get to a trial because it's a little bit fresher. Rooney also told me that he played a bit of FIFA with you on streaming and you all played a trick on him. No, no, no. It weren't a trick. It was miscommunicate. Well, it weren't actually.

19:44It was a misunderstanding. So first of all, when we had Rooney, everyone thought it was a voice actor. No one believed it was actually him, right? I can vouch for it. It was Rooney. Yeah, no, it definitely was. And then it was on the first date. I said, right, we're up early. We got training at seven. Next thing you know, I woke up at 10 o 'clock. I've got two missed calls off Rooney. And then I rang him and he's gone, yeah, you got it, mate. And I'm just, I'm wondering. I woke up today, mate, and ready for training. and then I've had to tell the missus she's got to go on the school run. And he's actually woke...

20:21And he woke up for the training at seven o 'clock in the morning and obviously we didn't have it. So Wayne Rooney sat in his big house at 7am waiting for a load of young lads from Manchester to play FIFA with him. Absolutely, yeah. Fantastic, I love it. Ginge, it's been a pleasure. You are the king. Up and down and bombing on together as one, Steve. Thank you very much, mate. Thank you for having me on.

20:53One of my favourite features on Games Gone is the Q &A section. It's my chance to speak directly to Fanbase. And we don't just talk about football, no, no. Listeners are free to ask me anything they want. I'm an absolute open book. Full transparency. Question one. Hi, gents. There's been a lot of chat this year about the Premier League going back to bases. set pieces, long throws, etc. How do you feel about this, Steph? Complete validation for me. Complete validation for what I've been seeing for absolute years. Oh, tick-a-tack has changed game. Tick-a-tack of this. Tick-a-tack of that. Tick-a-tack of this.

21:28It's going to change the game. It's revolutionised it. They soon realised that the best way to go is by a long throwing. Big Elliot up. Nod it on. Bang. That's how you score a goal. And they're all doing it. Bob. I've always agreed with that. And free kicks and corners. We should start going more Route 1. Who? Us. We're starting oil oil. Yeah, we're starting getting a bit too clever. Yeah, but we've got Tommy up front. It's his chest. It's his chest. Steve, with all due respect, lad's got a turning circle or a small oil tanker. Yeah, but he can play into his feet. Exactly. All you need to do with Tommy is on chest, then we go.

22:02That's why you pick him up. He's up to wingers to get a winner to support him. Sorry, Mike. I'm going away from Mike. Into chest. Pick up scraps. Then go and support him. Get your wingers. You've got to have. It's a conversation for after a podcast, but we've got to get some pace at full back and on wings. That's where we're struggling. He can hold it up because it takes M25 to get round him. Exactly, Bobby. Okay, fair point, a fair point. Next question. Hi, Bob, Steve, Paul. I love the show. My question is if you had a time machine and could travel back to any point in history, when would that be?

22:36Lindsay. Oh, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. That's a fantastic question. Summer's day. Wembley Stadium, 1996. It's England v Scotland. Paul Gascoigne lifts it over a ever so sweaty Colin Hendry's head. Ever so sweaty? And fires it past an helpless Andy Gordon and goes on to Duke Dentist's chair. Where were we? Your man's back garden? My mum's back garden. Bit of barbecue. Frost sausage, chicken, drumsticks, burgers, job lots. She even did a salad, put feta in it. Had a great day. I think mine would be that weekend I took Deborah to Paris, actually. Don't get better. Should have told us. Don't get better.

23:14Did you take Deborah to pack? Did I took her, yeah. Oh, you should have told us. Slacker of care. All right, Steve. Go on, Bob. Early 90s. Used to play Saturday football. We had a good side. We used to win a lot of matches. Leagues, cups and that. Who did you play for before you were with Oak? Oak Sunday's in it. This was a Saturday side. Okay. So, we'd have a game. Have a laugh. Goodbye to that boozer. Geoff Stelling on. Oak results coming down. Early Geoff Stelling. Really good. Then, home. Baywatch. Gladiators. What a day. Match it day later on. You could go anywhere and be transported back to anywhere.