The Commentators’ View: Cheese ice cream & Champagne on ice

25:50Ali Bruce-Ball:That's a blank piece of paper, John. Yeah, I've got my grid drawn up with all of the places for the players to go in. But as we speak now, I've still got two days to prepare for that. Yes, you do, yeah. Can I throw a stat in? And I need to clear this with John first because it's not the Optus supercomputer, but it is Optus. Are we allowed to use just general Optus stats as long as it's not the supercomputer generating a percentage? It depends if this is a Premier League only stat. Proceed with caution, Ricky. It's a Guardiola-Arteta stat that I thought was quite interesting. I'll tell you what, I'll throw it out there.

26:24The statistics show, according to Opta, not the supercomputer, that April is Guardiola's most fruitful month and Arteta's worst. A 44 % win percentage for Arteta in April. And I think it's interesting, isn't it? Because, of course, we know that Arsenal have capitulated in these sort of situations and so much is made of mentality. But actually, to see it backed up in terms of actually when that happens, it's just the worst timing, isn't it, for Arsenal? And I think those mentality questions, they are never going to get away from it until they finally see it out. But I love your opinion on this, John and Ali.

27:02How brave are Arsenal going to be in terms of getting the result? And what result do they feel they're going to need to get going into this game? Well, the John Murray computer can tell you that up to the point where they lost to Manchester United in January. So, you know, they'd lost only three matches all season at that point. Lost to Liverpool away back in August. They won the next match, 3-0 against Nottingham Forest. Next defeat was against Aston Villa, 2-1 away. Next match after that, they won 3-0 away against Club Bruges. Their next defeat was at home to Manchester United. The next match, they won against Kairat and the Champions League.

27:43So they bounced immediately back with good wins after those first three defeats. And up until the Carabao Cup final, those were their only defeats. So it's after that defeat, and we asked on the day, will that have a psychological effect? It's after that that they have really faltered and stumbled. But they've also had the injuries that they have to cope with. and as we speak now we don't know how many of those injured players are going to be available for for Sunday and that's significant I think that Durian Timber has been a huge miss at right back is he going to be fit is Saka going to be fit is Saka going to be back to somewhere near his best Odegaard as well is another one Calafiore has also been out and of course any team that you know wherever you play has to cope with injuries and the thing I would say and it is true and I've seen that about the way that Arteta's Arsenal have fallen off in the last three seasons you know that that is a fact that is there we know that but this is the biggest and deepest squad that Arsenal have had and that's the the question now for Arsenal is are you capable now after the little run that they've had are they capable of coming again that's that's the question and there's

28:58Ali Bruce-Ball:there's different ways of showing that bravery isn't there Vicky because unless Mikel Arteta really surprises us. I mean, I think people would associate that with let's get on the front foot and take it to Manchester City. There's no chance, I don't think, that Arsenal will do that because the draw suits them better than Manchester City. And actually, almost being the underdogs in the game, even though they're top of the table given recent form and they're away from home, kind of suits them in a way. And their main strength this season has been their defensive solidity. So I think we're going to see from Arsenal what we've seen in a lot of the big games under Mikel Arteta is the more cautious approach and trying to strike on the break.

29:38Ali Bruce-Ball:Manchester City have got to come at Arsenal, which could offer opportunities. Can they take those opportunities? Can Eze deliver something special? Can Jochores do something special in a big game? Or Maduweke if Saka doesn't start? I think that might be the question. I can see it ending a draw, I think. Maybe a 0-0 or a 1-1, but we'll see. And the other thing as well is I'm interested to see what the City approach is. They've had the week off. Pep Guardiola said at Stamford Bridge last Sunday, he said it over and over again. We've got the week off. We've got the whole week to prepare. I'll be sitting back while Arsenal are playing in the Champions League.

30:16Will they feel that right from the outset, this is a point where they try and unleash hell on Arsenal and get this game won and try and really capitalise on what might be some Arsenal vulnerabilities? I can't wait for it. So anyway, 5 Live, 4.30 Sunday afternoon is the place to listen to it with us on the radio.

31:09Five Live Sports.

31:20Ali Bruce-Ball:Your social media feed says eat more protein, track your sleep, boost your VO2 max, wake up and cold plunge, cleanse yourself of parasites. You're intrigued but confused. So where can you turn? Welcome to Health vs. Hype, the show where we take the loudest wellness trends on the Internet and ask the questions only science can answer. What's real, what's exaggerated, and what is completely wrong. I'm Trace Dominguez. Each episode, we show the science behind viral health claims, from high-protein diets to cold plunges, detoxing to sleep tech obsession. And we talk to the people in the middle of it all.

31:59Ali Bruce-Ball:Influencers, the curious, but more importantly, doctors and researchers. Not to cancel the trend, not to hype it more, but to understand it. Listen to Health vs. Hype with the American Medical Association on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Slow the scroll. Start asking better questions.

32:40Enjoy a few minutes for yourself. Let's chump. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Voidware prohibited by law. CTs and Cs. 21 Plus. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.

32:52Ali Bruce-Ball:The commentator's view on the Football Daily. Listen on BBC Sounds. Unintended pub names. We've got a couple of unintended pub names from Sports Commentary. Last time we had the Leaping Bassie and its Shirley Bassie karaoke nights. We also had the horrible little fly that bothered Paul Robinson and Ian Dennis during a commentary. We've got a great film name coming up, but let's first have this unintended pub name from Peter in Starksboro, Vermont, in the United States. While watching Arsenal lose to Bournemouth, the commentator Peter Drury described, as the match was winding down, how the Emirates was, and I now quote, bathed in sunshine and pain.

33:37Indeed, Sunshine and Pain would be a dandy name for a pub, providing both kinds of emotional nourishment,

33:43Ali Bruce-Ball:depending on a customer's mood. Dandy name? Yeah, I like it. The Sunshine and Pain. It'd get shortened though, wouldn't it? Locals would just say, I'm off down the sunshine. They wouldn't use the full title, would they? Well, The Sun and Pain. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Now then, this one is quite a lengthy read. It's beautifully written, so I will endeavour to do my very best with this. This is from History Mike in Sydney. He says, Hello TCV, after listening to the Champions League debrief podcast on the Football Daily, I was inspired by Ian Dennis' report to write a script summary for an unintended film.

34:18That penalty was not awarded, but before that, Gravenberg had had a rising, whistling drive off target. Gomez has seen his head again.

34:26Ali Bruce-Ball:The rising, whistling drive would feature John Murray and Ian Dennis driving back to London after commentating on Liverpool's loss to PSG when they diverted from the motorway to a quiet country road. Strangely, the road is straight and rises slightly with each passing mile. After about 10 minutes and a passionate discussion about the rules of Clash of the Commentators, both spy a ghostly figure standing in the middle of the road. Unsettlingly, the figure suggests the shape of Alistair Bruce Ball. John jumps on the brake and beckons Ian to investigate. Suppressing his fear, Ian emerges from the car and takes a few hesitant steps towards the ghostly Bruce Ball.

35:07As he moves closer, all he can hear is a whistled version of Una Paloma Blanca. But in the minor key, Ian is transfixed by the song and loses all sense of reality. John, sensing something is wrong, quickly exits and brings Ian back to the relative safety of the car. John hits the accelerator, manoeuvres around Bruce Ball and speeds down the road.

35:33Ali Bruce-Ball:But Bruce Ball rises into the air and pursues the car with menacing intent. Ian, who by now has regained his senses, says, There is only one person we can call. John gives a knowing smile and replies, Yes, Hare Chapman and his supersonic helicopter. Ian makes the call and Hare Chapman, who always tracks his colleagues by their phone signal, is soon in the air and approaching the car. He sees the ghostly Bruce Ball pursuing the car and expertly lands upon him, trapping Bruce Ball beneath the struts. Ian and John abandon the car and scramble into the helicopter as they fly to safety. Herr Chapman quips, I told you that song would bring you doom.

36:12Ali Bruce-Ball:That is out there, Mike. Thank you, History Mike, for your imagination, your flight of fancy. Yes. So if you spot an unintended pub or film name in any sports commentary, it doesn't have to be us, any sports commentary, do let us know, tcv at bbc.co.uk, Whatsapps to 08000 289 369 and further correspondence here from Mike in Salt Lake City. Very much enjoyed Denno's commentary, Brentford versus Everton, and thought he'd opened up a whole new fertile seam of wordplay around nicknames for football clubs. I loved his Brentford risking coming unstuck at the hands of the Toffees. Is this something we could develop?

36:59Could, for example, we say that the Gunners have been pipped by the Cherries? Thanks very much. Mike sounds like he's actually walking on the salt flats there, doesn't he? Yeah. You must have a crunch underfoot.

37:11Ali Bruce-Ball:Sweeping up leaves, yeah. Stung by the bees or stung by the hornets is definitely one of those, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I think I did one the other day. Brighton were at Sunderland. Oh, do you know what it was? There was actually a real seagull in the flesh or the feathers. Feathers. Swooping around the Stadium of Light just as Brighton were preparing to take a corner. And I think I can't remember what I said. And it's always that in your mind, you're like, is this straying into Alan Partridge territory or not? But something about the seagulls swooping around the Stadium of Light and the seagulls will look to pounce from this corner.

37:48And then I think they did actually score from that corner. So it made it into the edit. And at that point, you're like, well, it's gone now. Let's hope I actually find it funny when I watch it back, as it sounded in my head at the time when I was saying it. I think we might have strayed into Alan Partridge territory with History Mike, actually. But also producer Nathan has suggested Mould by the Tigers is a popular one in the championship with Hull City, which is a very good one. And we did get this from Robin Cowan on Match of the Day. Thiago slots it home. The perfect start. The Bees applying an early sting in this matchup for Europe.

38:28Ali Bruce-Ball:That's exactly what I was saying. Great sound effects there of the ball hitting the net. by the way. That's a real match of it. That's a real TV sound effect, isn't it? Yeah. So anyway, unintended pub names, always welcome. We've got the glossary to come. But first, Clash of the Commentators. Yes, here we go. Clash of the Commentators. Here is how it works. Two of us take turns to answer a question and give as many correct answers as we can in 30 seconds. Now, last week, Mike Miney beat Conor McNamara in an exhibition match. But this week, we are going to make a long-awaited return to league action.

39:07It is John versus Ali. John is on a two-match winning streak, which has lifted him off the bottom of the table. So, who wants to go first? By the way, I must mention at this juncture, Jacob Steinberg of The Guardian, you will both know. Jacob tells me that he listens to the commentator's view with his seven-year-old son, Raziel. And I say seven because he has turned seven this week. And Raziel enjoys Clash of the Commentators. So a specific dedication to Raziel.

39:43Ali Bruce-Ball:Happy birthday, Raziel. So who's going first? Yeah, who's up, John? Who's up? Who's up? Well, how's the jet lag going? Do you want to go first or second? Okay, I'll go first. Yeah, I'll go first. Yes, please. Thank you. OK, so John is going to disconnect. Headphones are off. So we are ready to go. So here we go, Ali. After beating Real Madrid to reach the Champions League semifinals, Bayern manager Vincent Kompany said this in his post-match press conference. Where does this sit in terms of nights in your managerial career? I remember we beat Blackburn twice in Burnley. For nobody in this room, you will actually want to compare it with the game today.

40:23It was amazing. It was like something I was like, I've experienced so much as a player and this was incredible. Vincent Kompany comparing beating Real Madrid in the Champions League to beating Blackburn in the Championship. So this one will test you. I want you to name any player to feature in the Burnley-Blackburn games in the 22-23 season when Vincent Companies Burnley did the double over their Lancashire rivals. Blackburn-Burnley players from the East Lancashire derbies, 22-23. Ali, your time starts now.

41:05Ali Bruce-Ball:I mean, that is a shocker. James Trafford maybe in goal or was Muric in goal Ari Muric Ashley Barnes Darro Shea can't think of the Blackburn players who else is in that Burnley team that came up under company

41:23Ali Bruce-Ball:playmakers in that team I'm not going to get anywhere here no honestly my mind is complete on jet lag I've got no chance with that one no chance I've got to say, that is a stinker of a question. So that is Ali's efforts. John, headphones back on. The jack is plugged in. John, Iceland to John Murray. Can you hear us? Yes, I can hear you. And actually, I was just looking at the top of the leaderboard, or the leaderboard, and I was thinking, this is quite an important one, because if I win this and then also win the appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport, that would actually take me to eight and Ian back to nine.

42:15So this is actually pivotal in this season's Clash of the Commentator, pending the outcome. As we said, when it comes to this stage of the campaign, the storylines, the narratives, I wonder, you know, is this too meta to have commentary on the clash of the commentators? Maybe that's something we should look into. OK, so, John, are you ready? I am ready. John, we're going to hear something that Vincent Kompany said after his Bayern side knocked Real Madrid out of the Champions League this week.

42:44Ali Bruce-Ball:Where does this sit in terms of nights in your managerial career? I remember we beat Blackburn twice in Burnley. for nobody in this room you will actually want to compare it with the game today but it was amazing it was like something I was like I've experienced so much as a player and this was incredible so there we go beating Real Madrid in the Champions League is up there with beating Blackburn in the Championship for Vincent Kompany so John I want you to name any player to feature in the Burnley Blackburn games in the 2022-23 season when Vincent Company's Burnley did the double over their Lancashire rivals?

43:26Blackburn Burnley players, and your face is just the same as Ali's was when I read it. Blackburn Burnley players from the East Lancashire Derby's 22-23. Your time starts now. Crikey. Is that James Trafford's time or was he not there at the time? Anyway, James Trafford. Esteve. who would be in midfield oh crikey I'm really going to struggle with this Cullen oh god what about Blackburn Berit Diaz 22-23 oh god I'm not going to lie John that was pretty similar to Ali's reaction and agony how do we feel we did? How confident are we feeling? Badly.

44:20Ali Bruce-Ball:Yeah, terribly. Well, I can reveal that in this crucial game, as John has rightly said at this stage of the season, it's a draw. 2-2. A low-scoring thriller. Yeah. A low-scoring thriller. So, Ali, interestingly, you both started with James Trafford, who is actually incorrect. but Ali, you then got Muric. Yeah. And Barnes was the other one for you. Actually Barnes, yeah. And John, a late equaliser with Brereton Diaz pulled that one out of the bag and Cullen was the other correct one that you got. That's tough though. I mean, I was trying to think of the Burnley team that came up and then, you know, must have commented on them but...

45:07Yeah, but then I was thinking they changed everyone, didn't they? They changed the whole team. That's right. The whole team.

45:13Ali Bruce-Ball:Yeah, that is difficult. Anyway, what happens now? Do we both get a point? Well, I'll tell you. I'll tell you, John. What happens now is that we have our hastily added to our document tiebreaker. Our mics at the ready. Our headphones on. Our headphone jacks plugged in. First one to shout out the correct answer to this tiebreaker wins.

45:36Who was the Blackburn manager for those derbies? Johnny Mulberry.

45:41Ali Bruce-Ball:Oh, that's a good shout. Incorrect. No. Oh, Paul Lambert? No. Incorrect. 22-23. Blackburn manager. Blackburn manager. Oh, no. Oh, John Eustace. John Dahl-Thomason. Yes. The win goes to Ali Bruce Ball. That was terrible. That's a win where you feel slightly dirty afterwards, John. I don't feel good about that. Do you know what? Taking it back to the Arsenal-Sporting-Lisbon conversation. Sometimes, Ali, at this stage of the season, when you're jet-lagged and it's the big build-up to the end of the campaign, you've just got to find a way to win. And that's exactly what you've done with the 95th minute extra time header at the far post.

46:23Just as early you didn't ask us who was in goal for Blackburn, Thomas Kaminsky. Do you know, the one that I did think before I saw this list, and it might be because I am in Iceland for Burnley, Johan Berg-Goodmansen. I've done quite a lot of Burnley over the years, so it's thinking of the ones that have been there for a while. So Jay Rodriguez, Connor Roberts, Jack Cork as well, Josh Brownhill.

46:45Ali Bruce-Ball:Brownhill, yeah. Yeah, Charlie Taylor. Ian Mattson as well was there at the time. And then Blackburn, as you said, John, you've got Thomas Kaminsky, Lewis Travis, Bradley Dack, John Buckley, Tyler Morton, Sam Gallagher, Ainsley Pears, Hayden Carter, Adam Wharton. Sammy Smoddix. Yeah, so. Nip switches, Sammy Smoddix. Anyway. But I think that is one of the toughest assignments that we've had all season. I would agree with you. season and i would say let's move on from that one and consign it to history um before we do the glossary reese in east london writes in first i wanted to say thank you so much for reading out my unintended pub name two episodes ago the pod went out the day before my birthday and i still don't think i've stopped smiling i was even more delighted when one episode later a fellow reese from London, a different one, left a voice message.

47:41I chuckled as my imagination pictured an entire football league's worth of Rhys wandering around London listening to TCV. It got me wondering what commentators do when two players have genuinely identical names in sport, both first and last name. And what is the etiquette for that? Is it something you've ever experienced in your career from Rhys in East London. Strangely enough, last week in Lisbon, when I was commentating on Rui Silva, I did say during the commentary, I feel like I've commentated on 25 different Rui Silvas over the years. And it's that thing with Portuguese names and Spanish names.

48:19And sometimes I think Barcelona and Real Madrid are teams that churn out players with very similar names. And you think, have I seen him before or not? And of course, I commentated on Luis Suarez as well,

48:31Ali Bruce-Ball:the sporting Luis Suarez. That's it, isn't it? You get to a squad and without looking at the details, you see a name and you think that can't be the Fabinho from Liverpool. That must be another Fabinho. And then it does turn out to be another. I'm looking at my Wolves notes for the weekend. This is slightly different because they've all got different first names, but they've got João Gomez, Rodrigo Gomez, Totti Gomez, and then signed Angel Gomez as well. So you have to use the first name every single time with a Gomez. But they've also got the Bueno's as well. They've got the Bueno brothers, yeah.

49:01Ali Bruce-Ball:So I've had a couple. There are two Sam Kerrs in women's football. There is the Sam Kerr who plays for Chelsea, the Australia captain, the leading scorer, and then Sam Kerr, the Scottish midfielder as well. So sometimes you have to be very careful about making sure you're being clear about which one you're commentating on. But also, I think the most challenging one I've had is I have actually come across identical twins, Sarah and Karen Holmgard. and of course we've had this in the past as well haven't we at Manchester United with Fabio and Raphael as well but when you're commentating on identical twins just getting that in your head even though the names are different the fact that obviously they look exactly the same is it's rather challenging as a commentator.

49:49I remember one of those young Manchester United twins married very young to a woman called Barbara for some reason that stuck in my mind. Let us move on to the great glossary of football commentary before we go. This is where we add commentary terms and phrases to our collection. You can find our entire glossary in the episode description on BBC Sounds. So we put football exclusive terms into Division 1. And for terms used in football commentary, but also used in other sports, they go into Division 2. Last week, we did not put anything new into Division 1, but we did put Piledriver on the beach and sent into Raptures all into Division 2.

50:34However, Joe in Seattle says, I must quibble with demoting the term Piledriver. Yes, it is used in professional wrestling, but that is not a sport, says Joe. It is theatre, good theatre, but not a sport, says Joe. Therefore, I request a re-promotion for Piledriver. We can't allow terms to be demoted because they are found in a theatre production, can we? Also, we've already suffered the injustices to John Murray in Clash of the Commentators. Well said, Joe. So let's adjust this error to Piledriver.

51:15Ali Bruce-Ball:and Ben who's a Villa supporter John gets in touch on a similar theme and says a pile driver is not a permissible move in the sport of Olympic wrestling and is not used in the commentary for those sports so obviously that distinction between Olympic wrestling and the WWE WWF as we knew it before a pile driver is permissible in the entertainment that is WWE says Ben as such pile drivers should correctly be placed in Division 1 not Division 2, I rest my case, says Ben. So, I mean, that is a topsy-turvy ride for Piledriver, isn't it? It is. I think we should wait for further correspondence on that.

51:54Ali Bruce-Ball:Okay. See, I would agree. I think the case is strong. Yeah, I think the case is strong. But I'm happy to be outvoted. Can a boxer hit you with a Piledriver? Piledriver, yeah. I would have said yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, more deliberations required. For the moment, it's got an asterisk. Against its entry, I would say. We also left needing snookers for a listener verdict. Ash says, love the show. Needing snookers is surely when your destiny is out of your own hands. For example, you rely on another team losing to escape relegation. Chris from Brentford says, surely Wolves are the perfect example of a team needing snookers.

52:39Not according to Opta, they're not. they're not yet relegated and there are points still available so has Ash got it right there

52:48Ali Bruce-Ball:is it Div 1 or Div 2 well the suggestion is that it should be in Division 1 isn't it well it can't be can it because if we're using it in football and snooker so it's a Div 2 isn't it I love it though, I love needing snookers because people understand exactly what you mean well not everyone does but most people will I was just going to say as someone who's not the biggest snooker I don't know if I could wangle that into a football commentary. All right, OK. But maybe that's just me. This from Paddy in Indonesia. These are new suggestions. A term which we added a long time ago, but haven't yet sorted into either Division I or Division II.

53:27I think it's fair to say that Illiman and Jai's goal versus Chelsea was postage stamp stuff. This was said by Sky Sports commentator Seb Hutchinson at the time. This refers to when the ball is perfectly placed into the top right-hand corner, with the goalkeeper having absolutely no chance of saving it. Also, John, I'd highly recommend visiting Bali because you'll see lots of palm trees. I bet I would. What a good suggestion that is. I saw lots of palm trees in Lisbon, actually.

54:01Ali Bruce-Ball:The top right thing is interesting, isn't it? Because stamp on a letter goes top right. So are we now drawing a distinction between a goal that goes in the top left? Can't be a postage stamp. No, exactly. Is that Division 1, a postage stamp? Probably is, isn't it? Yes. Yeah. This applies well to Manchester City and Arsenal, and it's from Millwall fan Kerry in Bromley. I have a suggestion for the Great Glossary, which I believe would be a solid Division 2 entry, as I'm sure it's likely to be used in other sports. Points on the board. It's a term that increases in relevance and use at this stage of the season.

54:37Ali Bruce-Ball:It does, of course, also reignite the age-old debate as to whether it's better to have points on the board as opposed to games in hand. Thank you very much, Terry. Yes, I think Division 2 for that, isn't it? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's very much a cricket one for me. I know points and runs are different things, but it's that thing, isn't it, about being in that position, runs on the board, sets the pressure. So I think, yeah, I think Div 2, John. Do you want to do the next one? Yeah, how about this from James in Taunton? Hi TCV team. I was surprised that no new entry to Division 1 was made in the last podcast.

55:11But funnily enough, whilst listening, I had a brainwave. Please can I suggest the phrase, taking it to the corner flag, be added to Division 1. Perhaps seeing the 18 August of Masters gold flags inspire this idea. I know it's quite a literal thing to say, taking it to the corner flag. But for those who are listening to the commentary, this phrase pretty much sums up how one team are clearly trying to protect their lead. You can almost guess what the score is from hearing that one player is taking it to the corner flag. I think I said that myself this week about Arsenal. That's probably Division 1, isn't it, Vicky?

55:47Ali Bruce-Ball:Yeah. Well, the only thing I would say, and he touches on it there, it is quite literal. So would you ever use that as a phrase unless they were actually taking it to the corner flag? so is it more descriptive rather than it is fitting for a glossary would you say okay i think so and we've got one more from chester fan dan i've only recently discovered your podcast i've been catching up from the start and i've loved it all obviously apart from the two outrages not cantonar gate from last season and then the travesty of eat munch consume gate this season Anyway, I love the glossary you've been building.

56:23It was great to hear leaping like a salmon this weekend in the Sunderland game, and then amidships in the Chelsea game. I felt moved to submit a voice note thingy to suggest a phrase that I've only ever heard in football commentary. The phrase is, we were right behind that. I love this phrase because it makes the listener feel they're right at the ground. This is the beauty of radio commentary, I think. You can really picture the ball going from somewhere out wide up to where the owl sleeps. Keep up the great work and thanks very much. Well, thank you, Dan, for catching up. And I think already on this particular episode, we have demonstrated that right behind it, Ali, because you said that about Rory McIlroy's putt.

57:06McIlroy.

57:06Ali Bruce-Ball:That's the perfect bookend to the podcast. Perfect bookend to the podcast. And Phil, our engineer, has been sitting there patiently in Reykjavik. I must include this at the end of the glossary. Now, this is not looking for terms to go into Division I and Division II, But Phil is a supremely talented linguist and loves all things to do with language. And I think his interest has been perked by being over in Iceland. So he sent me a message and he says it seems the Icelandic language has changed little in a thousand years. In fact, they actively discourage the adoption of new words. They just combine words that already exist and then bolt them together to form compounds.

57:43Ali Bruce-Ball:Or they recycle old words that have fallen out of use and they repurpose them. So in Iceland, an idea is a mind picture. Psychology is soul study. The telephone is the long thread. So we'll be joining you on the long thread. But Phil's favourite, he says, and I absolutely love this, a computer, possibly the Optus supercomputer, John, is known in Iceland as a number prophetess. That is excellent. Well done, Phil. and Vicky, I expect to hear some of those in the commentary on Sports Extra from Republic. I will do my very best. So let us summarise. Oh, one more I must mention. I hear this virtually every day at the moment and it needs to go into the glossary, the champagne is on ice.

58:37I hear it all the time. And it's a division two. It's a division two. But that desperately needs to go into the glossary. So, summary for the glossary this week. We have Piledriver, which we are leaving in Division 2 for the time being. Asterisk. Needing snookers? Division 2. Points on the board? Division 2. We were right behind that. Division 2. Champagne on Ice is going into Division 2. Postage stamp? Division 1. And taking it to the corner flag? Division 1.

59:17Hooray! And that is it for this episode of the Football Daily. Do keep the unintended pub names and glossary suggestions coming in, tcv at bbc.co.uk, or you can send us a message or voice note on WhatsApp to 08000 289 369. Tell a member of the family, a friend, about the commentator's view who might not listen. I was in the library this week, and a volunteer in there was telling me that he listens to our commentaries with his 13-year-old grandson. So well done to him. And remember, you can find each and every episode of The Commentator's View by scrolling down your football daily feed. We've got the same pen.

1:00:03Isn't that fascinating?

1:00:05Ali Bruce-Ball:Now, have you got a yellowy bick or an old school? Orangey. Orangey, yeah. I've got three oranges in one. Yeah, didn't mention Trinkow's moustache. I meant to mention that. Oh, yeah. Moustache. I'm Rich Hall, and this is Sports Strangest Crimes presents Confessions of a Super Bowl Streaker. When people ask me what I do, I say to them, well, by day or by night. The story of one man's mission to conquer the holy grail of streaking the Super Bowl. Mark Roberts is too lively for his body. He's just like the entertainer. Mark pushes the boundaries of what is socially acceptable. No chance. Texas, it's really strict.

1:00:48But then the more I thought about it. The more I thought, hang on. What are you about?

1:00:51Ali Bruce-Ball:Sports Stranger's Crimes presents Confessions of a Super Bowl Streaker. Listen on BBC Sounds.