The Commentators' View: Ronaldo’s red & mind-altering shoes

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0:40The Commentator's View on The Football Daily with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis. Hello, welcome to The Football Daily. I'm John Murray and this is The Commentator's View where we five live commentators take you with us on our travels and discuss the football and the language of football commentary. And with me today, Alastair Bruce Ball and returning in place of Ian Dennis, who's rested, Conor McNamara, who as we speak, well, fresh, not only fresh legs, fresh spirit, Conor, because you come to us straight from. I'm speaking to you just about two miles away from the Aviva Stadium where Republic of Ireland, who having previously lost to the 105th ranked nation in the world in this group have now beaten the 5th ranked nation in the world and Ronaldo was sent off and I was at the game I was very much not in a working capacity so didn't quite have my BBC neutrality for my verdicts on his crybaby antics leaving the field that was very, very good fun I haven't seen it yet.

1:48Were there crybaby antics? So as he's going off, and I think, I mean, to be fair, I think it's members of the crowd are doing the, where you put your fingers up to your eye and twist them, you know, that you're crying. But as he's going off, he's got 50 ,000 people doing that to him. So he does it back to the crowd. Did he? Of course, that's the image that you, that's the image that you get to see, yeah. How funny. So we'll say to him then. Well, you see, you say that, right? Because, I mean, he's obviously given, it kind of reminds me of, who did it? Was it Guardiola did it at Anfield a few years ago where, was he, I don't know if he's shown a yellow card or there was something in a Premier League at Anfield and Guardiola kind of...

2:23Didn't he put the fingers up with... Oh, but how many league titles he won. Exactly. I think that was that same incident. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the point being that it sort of felt like each snowflake in an avalanche says not guilty. You know, of the 50 ,000, you don't look ridiculous doing it. When one guy does it back to them, he looks ridiculous. Anyway, look, it was just good fun. It was good fun. First red card, John. I saw in the BBC Sports website's match report in 226 internationals for Cristiano Ronaldo. That has never happened before that he's been sent off playing for Portugal. But also, Conor, I was just looking at the fixtures.

2:53So in terms of trying to get the runner-up spot in the group, Republic of Ireland away to Hungary on Sunday and a point behind them in the group. Yeah, so a win. I mean, incredibly, because this group has not gone well for Ireland. I mean, I'll be totally honest. They've been written off as a nation. We've lost faith in this team. And I mean, all the build-up, all the analysis yesterday was, if they can keep this to 2-0, to 3-0, it's probably going to be 5-0. I mean, the other little subplot was that Portugal, had they won last night, would have secured their qualification themselves, but in terms of topping the group and being automatic, so that sort of put a little delay for them as well.

3:29But from an Irish point of view, incredibly, like, you know, written off, Ireland are not going to the World Cup, it's not happening, suddenly win at the weekend and then it's playoffs. And Jaime Halgrimson was portrayed, wasn't he, as, well, the wrong choice and suddenly suddenly everything seems to have changed and then and i mean it feels like such a long time since ireland have had a result like this whereas there was a time when this sort of thing was commonplace wasn't it yeah no absolutely and that was that's the whole atmosphere you know coming out of the aviva last night that sort of throwback to the good old days kind of thing and you know and there were plenty of good old days you know the you know all the The big nations have come to Dublin over the years and have been beaten at various times.

4:13There was a Spain team in their palm. There was France. Any of the big teams have come and on their day been beaten. Germany, I remember famously. But it's been way too few and far between. And it's not even the sort of hard-look stories. It's just the football's not been good. They've not had a confidence without playing well. And what I would say was, what I personally love about this, because I don't like the snobbery in football where everyone tries to play beautiful football. Everyone tries to be Guardiola. Last night, they reverted to long ball. They pumped it in behind, turned those Portuguese defenders and hound them down.

4:47And it really worked. The old put them under pressure kind of mentality. And more of that, I say. You're trying to compete with the tiki-taka teams with your own tiki-taka. Unless you've got the players, it's never going to happen. I think too many of the recent Republic of Ireland teams have tried to play Invertikama's good football. But it's so entertaining to just put the others under pressure and get results like last night. I thought you were going to go Cowardly Lion on us there. Put them up. John, how was England-Serbia? What's your takeaways from that? Very routine, really. And actually, even though it was won by two very good goals, two very good finishes from Saka and Eza, I have a feeling that that's a match that in a year's time, maybe even six months' time, you'll say to me, do you remember that match against Serbia?

5:37And I'll say, oh, what happened that night? But I suppose just really for England, Thomas Tuchel, I thought, interesting management last night and probably the right thing to do, that he stuck with Rodgers and Anderson and Rice as the midfield three. So he effectively said to Bellingham, Rodgers is the man in possession. And I thought we saw a reaction when a very dynamic Jude Bellingham came onto the field. and they were awkward opponents. Serbia, who had everything on the line, could still sneak into the playoffs with one of those places through the Nations League. It's very much an outside chance that they would have of that, but it could happen.

6:17But in the end, another clean sheet for Ingers. Seven wins are seven. Haven't conceded a goal in the group. Jordan Pickford's now kept ten clean sheets in a row, so he's extended his own personal record, So his last 10 matches, he's not conceded a goal as the England goalkeeper. And off we go to Tirana. And it's been one of those weeks, Ali, as well, when, you know, obviously there has been the concentration on the football. But also we've been talking about things like mind-altering shoes, which has been part of the conversation. Right. Have you got your pair, John? I mean, honestly, this is absolute classic football and the media.

6:58And because Esri Konza the other day turned up with these things on and I'm looking at them and thinking what are they? And they are, for those who haven't seen or read this story, which has been widely reported, fluorescent red, in inverted commas, mind-altering shoes. And Marcus Rashford was also seen wearing these things, which are made by Nike. They are the Nike mind mules and Thomas Tuchel when he was asked about them said they told me they can focus better in meetings if they wear these shoes. Maybe the most important thing is that they believe it. I don't know the science behind it. So these shoes they're not yet available to buy.

7:46Believe it or not. Nike say the shoes work by, quote, engaging the sensory areas of your brain via the thousands of meccanol receptors underfoot. And players have been wearing them in downtime and at mealtimes. And what it is, is an absolute triumph by Nike. and it has been swallowed, hook, line and sinker, by the BBC and every other media organisation who have widely pictured and reported this. And now what happens next? Connor, your young sons say to you, Dad, can you fork out whatever ridiculous sum these things cost? And it'll be, Dad, you know, it'll make me concentrate on my homework better.

8:35You know, you've got to get these. yeah yeah but what was funny was in our commentary last night ian dennis referenced these things and during that and i'd not seen it he referred to them as meccano receptors and i'm thinking meccano meccano they've included meccano in these shoots that's a thing i would have seen it this morning i say it is m-e-c-h-a-n-o which i think is is meccano isn't it um so so just for our younger listeners uh meccano i remember meccano well you obviously know your meccano uh it was it was like a an old version of lego in a way but it's not bricks was it it was it was hard plastic and bolts and you would build structures from it i mean i had loads of meccano uh as a kid did you did you did ian we'll have to find out i actually didn't really i wasn't really a meccano boy you out?

9:31Were you Lego? More so. Not massively into Lego either, to be honest. No. So sport at the top level, we are always told, is all about marginal gains. This is a classic. If you're going to look at the other way and think there is going to be a genuine impact here, it's looking for that edge in every single department. Let me put this to you two. If these shoes, if you were told that actually you would be sharper and better at commentary if you put a pair of these shoes on while you were commentating would you give it a go? Would you be prepared to try that John? No. Flat no. And actually I'm hating myself that we're now talking about it again.

10:10Right. Because we've been suckered in again. Now we're doing it. Okay. I think the thing over the years is I certainly have this where you get an impression of something and let's just say and you know as we well know the Chief is renowned for being a very smart dresser when he commentates and what that but I often feel that you know if you wear a suit if you've got a shirt and tie on And sometimes you do exude a slightly different authority or whatever. And, you know, that's the kind of in-your-mind placebo effect, I guess. Or I'll often have where, oh, look, you know, if I do have another couple of cups of coffee or something, that'll wake me up a bit more.

10:43And, you know, you're kind of convincing yourself that if you do these things, there'll be an end product to it. I guess it's just whatever makes you happy, right? But the dressing smartly, that's a really good point, Connor. Not only the way that makes you feel, but I always think, John, and you've always done this, but not just at international level. But I actually think when you're going to go down and do post-match interviews with managers and players, I actually think it is important to look professional, to look smart. You are going to be taken more seriously, I think, if you are dressed for the occasion.

11:13That's what I think. Well, Tavares, for me, it goes back to my training days when I did my radio journalism postgraduate course. We had two of the local news editors, David Peel and John Ogden, were two of our tutors on that course. So they were working news editors and they said to us, this is where you start to prepare for the world of work and we expect you to dress properly and smartly. And when I first started work in John's newsroom, John insisted that we wore a tie every day to work, which I did. And I've kind of carried that on because right from the outset of my working life, it felt like I was preparing to work by putting a tie on.

11:54Not for a podcast, though. Not for a podcast, no. No, this is a different kettle of fish. I was going to say, Mr. Peel, I missed his other name, but how disappointed, John, they would see you, you know, being filmed on the BBC in a T-shirt. Oh, the game is gone. I've actually just got in from a run, and I was hoping to have time for a shower and a shave before this, but it took me a little bit longer than I was expecting. Have we spoken about how John's theory about wearing a shirt and tie is as equivalent as wearing a scarf. Have we discussed this? So like, I remember on a particularly cold day and saying to John, I wish I brought a scarf.

12:33And John said back to me, no, no, you don't need a scarf. All you need is a shirt and tie. It does the same function. A scarf just stops the warm air leaving your body up around your neck. And by having it, you know, tied into your neck, shirt and tie, that's doing the same idea as a scarf, which I've never heard referenced by anyone else ever. But as usual with John Murray is genius. It's true, is it? Yeah. The dubious question from ABB. It's true. I don't always wear a tie. If it's hot, I won't wear a tie. No. Would you ever consider a snood, John? Phil McNulty, our colleague Phil McNulty, last night was wearing a snood.

13:09And in actual fact, because we interviewed Bukayo Saka in the build-up to the Serbian match, and some of our colleagues were asking him questions for social media clips. and one of the questions was, should the snood come back? And I didn't realise it had gone away. I do always think immediately after Christmas, when we show up at press rooms before a game, people always have new woolware and clearly Christmas gifts that are being, probably not what they would have chosen for themselves. But it gets displayed for a few weeks, then you don't see it again. Speaking of theories, and you reminded me, I remember you once giving me the piece of advice, Connor, that before you commentate, you should never, ever, ever have more than two cups of coffee.

13:58And I, you know, to turn the tables, that's something that you've told me that I now always strictly adhere to. So Mrs. McNabara, who's an expert scientist with underlining and putting bold the expert part, she sent me a link years and years ago. and it was what was called the tip of the tongue moment. And the idea was that if you're drinking too many cups of coffee, that your brain gets ahead of you. And those times when you sort of stumble, tip your tongue, it's because your brain has now moved maybe three or four sentences ahead of what you've actually said. And you trip up and you stumble on it.

14:29And this was the theory that it was like, don't have more than a certain amount of caffeine to prevent that happening. And obviously you want to get that balance right because you want a little bit or you want to feel, you know, you don't want to be in a slumber. But no, and I have, because I think in main life, I probably drink too much coffee and I do try to limit it. And look, it's hard on those cold nights. You come in at halftime and you might already have had a couple of cups of coffee. You're like, oh, I just have to have another one. But in the main, I think there's a little bit of logic to that of not being too mentally stimulated that you get ahead of yourself.

14:58Yeah. And the other one in terms of trying to look after the voice is no chocolate at halftime, isn't it? Chocolate can really clog you up, I think. and we, you know, our producers are brilliant. I was working with Phil Wye, who's back doing some production for us at the moment, and he was always famous for bringing a certain type of chocolate biscuit, and they came out at the city ground on Sunday. And I had to say, look, I'll take one, but I'm not eating that until the end of the game. Otherwise, the second half, it takes you 10 minutes to clear it out your system. But I do think in Phil's defence, I do think he chooses, because he's famous, and again, we won't be advertising brands, but he chooses a particular brand, which I feel negates what you're saying, because in terms of the actual chocolate content, that's more the coating, isn't it?

15:41So it's the most... I know what you mean, but you don't want to say a heavy lump of chocolate that sort of coats your throat. Slightly unusually, because I agree with you, but last night at Wembley, I've got the sticker there. Look, I'm showing you the sticker. It was the Football Foundation were there last night, celebrating 25 years of championing grassroots football. They were handing out chocolate bars before the match, and I couldn't resist them. So I did actually unusually have a couple of bites of chocolate before the match last night. So we will have coming up, of course, the unintended pub names, which is all the rage at the moment.

16:19And also the great glossary of football commentary. But as ever, we invite your WhatsApp and voice notes to 08000 289 369. We will be playing some of those shortly. Emails as well. Anytime, anyplace. anywhere to tcv at bbc.co.uk and we will get onto those in a moment but over the next few days we have got a broad range of international commentaries world cup qualifiers crucial matches and you'll find them in a in a wide variety of places so if you're listening to this on friday the slovakia northern ireland matches on sports extra this very evening Saturday tea time five o 'clock Lichtenstein against Wales is on Sports Extra Saturday night Greece Scotland is on Five Live Sport and also on Five Live Sport on Saturday England New Zealand and the Autumn Internationals and Ben Eubank will follow Greece Scotland so that's a real bumper day of live sports Sunday tea time five o 'clock if you're on the move Albania England I'm making my very first trip to Tirana later today.

17:34Stephen Warnock will be with us for the commentary there. So that's five o 'clock Sunday. Monday evening, Northern Ireland-Luxembourg is on Sports Extra. Tuesday night, Scotland-Denmark is on Five Live. And Tuesday night, Wales-North Macedonia is on Sports Extra. And let me just say as well that, of course, Scotland-Wales-Northern Ireland matches can be watched on the BBC as well, the World Cup qualifiers, if you go to the iPlayer. And crucially there, John, and I think we said this on the last pod because we're now at the business end aren't we? I don't know whether that gets in the glossary, the business end of qualification here but if you look at that Greece-Scotland game on Saturday, if Scotland avoid defeat there, that game on Tuesday at Hampden is an absolute humdinger because that will be Scotland against Denmark winner takes all.

18:23If Scotland, let's say, draw away to Greece they will start that night, won't they? A couple of points behind Denmark if they win. So if they beat them at Hampden they would then qualify for a World Cup automatically for the first time since 98. That's correct. Yes. Meanwhile, I'll be going to Albania. Have either of you two been to Albania? No. I don't think I've been to Albania. Well, well, well. A country that none of us have been to. So I'm very much looking forward to that. And a familiar old subject with Albania has reared its head. Because Richard in London has sent us this. He says, In the 1979 European Cup, Celtic were drawn to play Partizani Tirana in the first round with the away leg in Albania.

19:08There were concerns raised before the team left that Celtic captain Danny McGrane would have to shave off his beard as facial hair was banned by Albania's hardline communist leader. That was Enver Hoxha, wasn't it? Because it was a sign of Western decadence likely to corrupt Albanian youth. There was a story that Danny McGrain's wife had to shave his beard off at the airport to ensure that he could gain entry into the country and play. But it seems that that was apocryphal. And in a Guardian article, Danny McGrain did write in his autobiography that he would have shaved off his beard had it been demanded of him.

19:53But it wasn't. and Danny and his beard both did play in Celtic's 1-0 defeat. Are you suggesting, John, that the famously heavily stubbled Ian Dennis may need to brush up his act ahead of Tirana? Well, as it turns out, Ian is not going to Tirana, so that is not an issue. That story, John, does make me think. So Pat Nevin and I were in discussion off-air when we were in Prague recently about what those trips to Eastern Europe must have been like as international footballers and club footballers in the 70s and 80s and further back than that. Totally different experience, I think, to what they are today.

20:37I mean, it'd be fascinating to be able to get in a time machine, go back and feel what that was actually like to play over there in those times. Well, I think Tirana, I think Albania is one of those places that has changed beyond all recognition from the time of Inver Hodger. Yeah. and I'm so looking forward to this because so many people have told me it's such an interesting place to go to. So, yes. I always remember Chris Waddle used to tell a brilliant story about England were playing, and I'm almost certain it was Albania, and it was one of his Gaza stories about throwing bars of soap to hit chickens out the hotel window, which, you know, I can't do justice because Chris is such a great way of telling the story, but basically that they were trying to, there was chickens, you know, quite a distance away, but they opened the window and they tried to throw the soap out to hit the chickens.

21:21and Bobby Robson came in like, what's the big fuss? What's going on in here? And they thought they were going to be in trouble and said, sorry, boss, Gazza was just throwing the bars of soap out to the chickens. And he goes, what? Those chickens? That far away? No way. Show me how you do it. Gazza's running down the corridor to get momentum to then fling the bars of soap. But that always just kind of summed up for me that players just having to hang around the hotels for long, long, long periods in places like that. The other football, John, we'll give a mention just beyond the international football is the Women's Champions League action.

21:48So we've had a bit of that this week. There is more next week. I'm at Stamford Bridge on Thursday night for Chelsea against Barcelona, alongside Fran Kirby, who I've never commentated with before, who's appeared on Five Live a bit this season. I'm really looking forward to that. And big game for Arsenal, because obviously they lost to Bayern this week. They're at home to Real Madrid. So Vicky Sparks and Gilly Flaherty are doing that game on the Wednesday night. And it's a similar set-up, the Women's Champions League. It's a smaller big table, but it's still a big table. so it's 18 teams and the top four go through automatically and ahead of the one i'm doing chelsea barcelona barcelona are right up there having won three out of three so have lyon so of manchester united chelsea have won two out of three but you want to get in that top four so you don't drop into those those playoff games to make it through to the quarterfinals so you'll be able to find all of those commentaries uh listen via the bbc sounds app and as we occasionally mention.

22:45Remember that you can pause, rewind the live radio and listen again. So if you, like I did all those years ago, went to Wembley to watch England for the very first time, which is entirely possible, you could actually go back on BBC Sounds and let your children listen again to the match that they attended and see what it sounded like. Now, before we get to some of your latest unintended pub names, Peter from Copenhagen has sent us an email in response to something we were talking about a few weeks back, the Maradona-Zidane roulette-marseille turn. And Peter says, Dear TCV, years before Zidane's prime, La Roulette was known in Denmark as a laudrup.

23:32After Michael laudrup completed the move in more than one national game, and for Barcelona as well, He is perhaps known even more for his mastery of La Croqueta, a move Andres Iniesta made popular and which Iniesta himself credited to Loudrup as one of his great heroes growing up. So La Croqueta, two inside foot touches, first across your body to stop the defender and then forwards to get away. I'm aware of the move, didn't know that's what it was called. No. And it's a move. I cannot remember who did this the other day. I'll tell you who it was. Ungamoa in the League Cup game, Liverpool Palace, that I commentated on a couple of weeks ago.

24:16I don't think it was a La Croqueta, but it's a move that in radio commentary is really difficult to describe. You know when a winger, it's two touches, exactly a bit like that with the inside of each foot. Boom, boom. But moves the ball very quickly left, right, back to left, and then round the defender. which in as you're trying to do radio commentary you can't you can't describe all of that so it needs a term like la croqueta but that that's pretty much but it's such a quick movement of ball from left foot to right foot and back you know that it only moves it like a a foot but it's enough to beat the defender just a tap tap gone like with a bit of pace love it yeah this actually reminds me of you know some of the game some of the the the sort of pub games that that we three play together.

25:01That reminds me of one of the categories. Do you remember? It was sporting terms that are eponymous. I.e. have to have the name of the person who did it first or the thing that was like the Cruyff turn, Penenka, Fosbury flop. There's actually more than you think. All of these are unintentional pub names though, right? Every single one of them. The Fosbury flop. Yeah, definitely. And that moves us very nicely on to this week's unintended pub names. And again, do send them in, tcv at bbc.co.uk. Not just if you hear them in our comment, any football commentaries. We love to hear them. And I'm not sure if it features here, but there was a great one last night at Wembley.

25:50But anyway, yes, it does. In fact, it's right at the top of the bill. because last week we had the falling Somerville, the gangly osula and the untattooed calf. I still have not got over the fact that whoever sent in the untattooed calf actually drew us a picture of the pub side for the untattooed calf. And yes, top of the bill, great one from the England-Serbia game. Let's have a listen to Paul Robinson and Ian Dennis. That's a good header out by O 'Reilly there is the there was a false whistle there there was a whistle sounded the crowd have reacted to it even the Tannoy announcer has reacted to it but play continues and a lot of the supporters in front of us are heading for the hospitality suites as there is the genuine whistle we had a false ending didn't we have that away in Serbia as well sure that was the game that we had a whistle in the crowd wasn't it are you suggesting that he's made his way over from belgrade the phantom whistler the phantom whistler now there is a pub name there's an unintended pub name the phantom whistler one of the best that's brilliant phantom whistler definitely going there definitely going in there are we are we going to go with the mind-altering footwear is that is that going to make the cut here i don't think that'll be receptors underfoot the mind-altering footwear they've had enough publicity so that was that one next up Robert in Yeovil Heil how about this from John with Dion Dublin during the disallowed Liverpool goal commentary against Manchester City it's a very very good corner and I think it's a very good goal so there we are another major talking point as Van Dijk's header is ruled out he headed it over the top of it The ducking Robertson dropped into the net.

27:52Donnarumma diving to his left, couldn't get there. The ducking Robertson. The ducking Robertson, yeah. Very good. Maybe not, it's not the Phantom Whistler. Let's put it that way. Simon in Nottingham. I would like to nominate something John Murray said in the Sunderland Arsenal match with James McFadden. That's that moment you're waiting for, Fereza. He works it so well down the outside, manages to get himself into the box. A great bit of skill and a nutmeg. Yeah, super moment. Great piece of skill. The Mozambique Nutmeg. As Timber plays it back to Raya. And I have to put my hand up and confess that that does not count as an unintended pub name.

28:34Because when it happened, and as a nutmegged, Rene Nildo, I think it was, and I said he's nutmegged the Mozambique. And I thought, that's definitely a pub name. and I have shamelessly gone for the Mozambique nutmeg. Now, during that commentary, I was listening in, I was waiting to present 606 on Saturday night and I had commentated on this certain chap we're about to talk about the week before, who's a tricky pronunciation and one you need to get right, but John did it with such relish during Sunderland Arsenal, I knew we would have correspondence this week about this. So this is from Joseph in North London, who says, while listening to John's commentary of that game, I thought for a brief moment I'd tuned into Herr Chapman's Who Do You Think You Are?

29:23And Sunderland with Rufsingal, then Mukiali, Ballard and Herr Trauda, then Hume and Renildal are the Herr Trauda. Lutz Harrell, Herr Trauda. That is a brilliant name. Lutz Harrell. Lutz Harrell, Herr Trauda. Yeah. Yeah. Who's Dutch? Yes. But when I first commentated on him, without actually thinking of it, it was with Paul Robinson. And I mentioned Herr Trowder. And he said, during the commentary, he said, is that any relation to Herr Chapman?