The Commentators' View: The Easy Tap Inn & unmentionables

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1:00and the BBC senior football reporter Ian Dennis are here. Hello to you. Hello, hello. Good morning. And you and I, Ian, have had a midweek off, haven't we? While Ali was off to Anfield for another shock result for Liverpool. And this was in the aftermath of another birthday for you. I know, yeah. The celebrations have continued throughout the week. How did you enjoy your trip to Anfield, Ali? Yes, and in terms of doing a League Cup tie, I mean, you guys will well know, League Cup lineups, you're often expecting your notes are going to have to go a little deeper, that the Premier League clubs, the big clubs in particular, are going to use their squads.

1:37But that Liverpool bench on Wednesday night, I mean, some of them hadn't even made my long squad list. I mean, and as our listeners will probably know, we come on air at seven o 'clock for a 7.45 start, but you're quite involved in the conversations up to 7.45. So there wasn't much time to be scribbling down the names of the likes of Wellety Lucky on my squad list. But then, you know, not really a surprise, John. I don't think that Liverpool lost the game, but I just think a really interesting team selection on a slot, given the run that Liverpool have been in. and given I think the fact that he would know if they lost that game which they were I would say were likely to do putting that team out against a very good Crystal Palace team the pressure that would then bring on the next game this weekend at home against Aston Villa that feels like a really big game even more so yeah well I mean you'll have doubtless heard him afterwards but to see the players who were left out not involved at all and as you say you know Now, I do feel that there is now very much that pressure on the biggest clubs to try and win that trophy, to try and win the League Cup because of the competition that there is and how important it is to win trophies, Ian.

2:47Yeah. But the flip side of that is Crystal Palace under Oliver Glasner. You know, to go to, bearing in mind that they're also in Europe. So he's got to try and balance his own team selection week in, week out because of his own European commitments. To go there with such a strong side and then to put in that performance and Ismail Assar scoring again against Liverpool. They've got the measure of Liverpool. I think Oliver Glasner is doing a wonderful job at Palace. And in that competition, I always want to see a side do well that takes it seriously from the word go. So I think fair play to Oliver Glasner and Crystal Palace for putting the side out that they did and then getting their just rewards.

3:34Crystal Palace had not done very well, actually, since the point on this podcast, I've floated the suggestion that they might actually be able to sustain a challenge for the Premier League title. Since then, things had just had some in and out results, hadn't they? But yes, that was quite a night for them again, wasn't it? Now, the other thing I want to mention, Ian, because listeners won't know this, but obviously you and I do, that we met for a bit of a social event, didn't we, during the course of this week. We did. And I've had a very interesting interaction with, do you remember just before you left to go home, there was a guy sitting next to us whose name transpires is Sean.

4:15Anyway, as soon as you left, he sort of said, excuse me, I hope you don't mind. Was that Ian Dennis? To which obviously we confirmed. And it turned out, and I mean, he was incredibly complimentary about you and said that he listened to you when he was growing up because he was a Leeds United fan. So he had obviously listened religiously to you on BBC Radio Leeds commentating on those years for Leeds United. Anyway, subsequently, he said to me, can I also check? He said, did you commentate on Leicester against Southampton in 1998? 1998. So I said to him, I've got no idea. I said, I'll go, I'll check.

5:03I'll have a look. So I went back in my diaries, which I do keep. And so I went back to my 1998 diary. And sure enough, in April 1998, I did commentate on Leicester against Southampton, which was a 3-3 draw. And Sean was telling us that he's a Leeds United fan. He had no allegiance whatsoever to Leicester Southampton. But he said it was listening to the radio commentary on that match that really sparked his interest in football. And he was eight years old. He was eight. And he remembered. He remembered that I commentated on that match when not even I remember that I commentated on that match. and and then he said can you remember who you commentated with was it mike ingham was it alan green or was it someone else and i said i'm sorry i haven't got that information but i i'd actually really warmed the cockles of my heart that that someone who who's now i've now worked out he is 35 now yeah and he remembers that commentary when he was eight years old and and what it did and and how how it sparked something off in his football following imagination.

6:13That is an incredible story, but two things strike me from that tale. One, what else were we talking about at the time? And two, you keep your diaries from over 20 years ago. I've always kept my diaries, yeah. I keep my read books. I mean, actually, I've got a stack of diaries here, but 20 years of diaries. Yeah. maybe you could go back and, you know, what was it? The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole? Well, they're not that detailed, don't worry. But I always think if I need to know something that I did or, you know, work-wise, then I've got the record there. And as you know, you see, now these days I do throw away many of my commentary notes, but that means that I have got a record of the matches that I covered.

7:04Yeah. So there we are. As is the case proven with Leicester and Southampton. Well, exactly. And I wouldn't worry, Ian. I sense that Sean is the picture of discretion. So that was a most unusual little episode during the course of this week. He did actually reach out to me on social media to say, I didn't realize it was you until you'd left. Yes, well, quite so, yeah. Anyway, if you've got similar queries or anything to add, we do love your whatsapps we're going to be hearing some of your voice notes as well later on during this podcast so 08000 289 369 for that we will have the usual unintended pub names and of course the great glossary of football commentary and emails as well to tcv at bbc.co.uk we've got some very good ones very good emails as well coming up but this weekend on five live and the various platforms.

8:05These are the commentaries. So Ian, you're going to be at Nottingham Forest Manchester United on Saturday at three o 'clock, along with Leon Osman. That kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. Where's my commentary notes here? Forest have won their last three league games against Manchester United. They last won four in a row between 1909 and 1910 when Fred Earp was the manager. But I looked at some of the goal scorers in those days. Grenville Morris, sounds like a character from Open All Hours, and Enoch Knocker West. Was that his nickname? Yeah, but Enoch Knocker West. Enoch Knocker West.

8:48But on the actual English National Football Archive, the knocker is included. imagine commentating on Enoch Knocker West well presumably you'd just call him Knocker actually that comes off the back of of course last week when I covered Manchester United Brighton they'd won three times in a row at Manchester United which is incredible and obviously they lost last weekend but at one stage looked as though they might stage a bit of a comeback but yes so that match Eno's got plenty of interest in it so that'll be the Saturday 3 o 'clock on 5 Live So all of the other action from all over the country will feature during the course of that and the score service, etc.

9:29At the same time, and this is new this season, that we also offer an alternative Premier League commentary. That will be Burnley against the leaders Arsenal on Sports Extra with Mike Miney. And Steve Bruce will be with Mike. Just seen that. I'm quite envious of Mike working with Steve. because we'd exchanged messages after he'd lost his job at Blackpool and he said, oh, hopefully I'll be working with you very soon. And, yeah, I'd look forward to doing a game with Steve. Yeah, so we might see and indeed hear more of Steve then in the coming weeks. Then Saturday, 5.30, this is a big game as well, Tottenham against Chelsea and Rob Green is going to be with me for that.

10:14First time I've worked with Rob, I think, this season. So that's Saturday, 5.30. And then on Sunday, I am moving across London to West Ham for the West Ham-Newcastle match. Clinton Morrison will be alongside me. So that is on 5 Live. And then at 4.30 on Sunday, another good-looking game, I think. Manchester City against one of the teams of the season so far, Bournemouth, with Ali Bruce Ball and Paul Robinson. and Ali, who's had one or two technical problems, is now back with us. Yeah, what have I missed? Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to listen back to the podcast to hear it. I always do.

10:56I always do. But I'm just saying, Manchester City-Bournemouth is a very good looking match, isn't it? Yeah, I think so, John. I mean, having done Crystal Palace in the week, teams like Palace-Brentford-Bournemouth this season, you know all having fantastic seasons all managed brilliantly I think with Brentford people weren't quite sure how it was going to go under under Keith Andrews as Ian was saying Oliver Glasner you know just doing a wonderful job but Bournemouth with Iriola considering what they lost from the squad in the summer has not made a fuss about that at all and they even seem to have got better really looking forward to seeing Kruppi play who's you know I remember when they got him in the summer reading a bit about him.

11:42Statman Dave was telling me a bit about him scoring a load of goals in Ligue 1 and he stepped in and is actually going to make it quite... It's going to make it quite difficult for Evan Nielsen to get back in the team. But the thing I like about that game on Sunday is that I think Bournemouth will enjoy... Manchester City will obviously come at Bournemouth and Bournemouth will enjoy that. That plays into Bournemouth's hands. I see Bournemouth scoring. It's just whether, like Aston Villa managed to do, Bournemouth can stop Erling Haaland scoring. I think that's probably the rub. One thing I must mention is a quick reference to my first visit to Everton's new stadium last weekend, which I tremendously enjoyed.

12:21Now, on the inside, I felt it could be almost any brand new big stadium in Europe. You know, there's some nice touches inside the ground as well. But I was really blown away with what it's like outside the stadium. I just think they've done that so well and so sympathetically, as I said during the commentary last Sunday, you know, sort of estate agent speak. But you are in no doubt there that that is a stadium that's been built on the site of Bramley Moor Dock. you know the touches that they've left there from walking through the the the gaps in the the dockyard walls and the the cobbles the the uh the buildings that have been left there the little touches as well and also the fact that my feeling was that very often you'll go to liverpool and everton and even though you've traveled to the city of liverpool you don't really get a flavor of the center of liverpool unless you happen to travel through there now if you're standing outside Everton Stadium on the Mersey side of the stadium, clearly you are right next to the River Mersey itself.

13:28You can see Wallasey on the far side. Look to your right and you can see the mouth of the Mersey. And look to your left and you can actually see the Liver building from standing right outside the stadium. And it really feels to me, they've brought over all of the various Everton touches and connections, so they're all outside the stadium as well. but it does feel that there is a real connection between that stadium and the city that it's in it's always quite instructive as well isn't it i think to go and we don't often do it because we're always working but i think to experience a stadium as a fan to go to some of these premier league stadiums you know my my younger son rory's a tottenham fan so i've been to the tottenham hotspur stadium as a commentator and as a fan but i think when you get there a little bit later as a fan and get involved in that pre-match atmosphere and pre-match drink and what's going on in the concourses we don't see any of that because we're sitting down and working i always find that quite a good thing to do to get a flavor and i think it'd be really interesting doing it there actually pre-match build-up and you know that sort of thing at everton one thing though i think that is a slight concern is clearly that was the first match that everton lost inside that state in their first competitive match that they lost.

14:40And there is a bit of a thing, I gathered from Sunday, from Everton supporters, that it's not easy right now. You know, that might change the way that things develop. It's not easy to get away from the stadium. And when they went 3-0 down, there was a mass exodus out of the stadium. And I just feel that that could be a little bit of a problem for them. From what I gather, I think parking is an issue, isn't it? For those who are in the cars. And the thing is, is that when you'd have gone to Goodison, and after so many years, you always have your own little parking spot, don't you? And therefore, I would imagine that supporters are still trying to come to terms with where's the best place to park your car in order to get a quick getaway with the traffic.

15:20And that's probably why you saw the exodus that you did, John, because people are thinking, well, let's just get away and beat any of the congestion. Talking Everton, John, former Everton players, have you done Tokyo Steve's message into the pod? Because this caught my eye in the script and I like this. Tokyo Steve says I'm not an Everton fan or a scouser but Leon Osman is a very good describer of goals scored when I see video highlights online the next day or possibly on match of the day his descriptions are spot on I always love playing that game of listening to a radio commentary of a goal and then seeing if the goal actually matches particularly if they're unusual or sort of particularly distinctive goals but I agree with Tokyo Steve Leon is Leon is very good at that well exactly and I mean that is one of the things that you try to do, isn't it?

16:07You want to, when people are watching it on Match of the Day, and indeed they could watch the next day on the iPlayer rally on Match of the Day, remember? But that's one of the things that you try to do. As well as all of the Premier League matches this weekend, there are FA Cup first round ties over the course of quite a number of days, actually. So we'll hear our five live reporters at places like Boreham Wood, Halifax Town, Spennymoor Town, Brackley Town, South Shields, Eastleigh and Gainsborough Trinity. Been to any of those? Anyone? Yeah. I remember I once, when I was working at, it was Radio Cleveland at the time, now Radio Tees, they once sent me to Spennymore.

16:50And I did, I've got a feeling I did a commentary, or if not extended reports, from the radio car at the side of the pitch at Spennymore. It had been the 90s, but yes, Spennymore. So I did a little bit of that circuit. Bishop Auckland as well. Yes. And where else? I thought you were going to reel off a list there. And it ended at Bishop Auckland. I'm trying to think where else I went, but no, Spennymore and Bishop Auckland. Ali, have you been to any of those? No, well, I was just looking at sort of, I mean, Eastleigh is the closest to me, but I don't think I've done a game there. No. They've got a great badge, haven't they, Eastleigh?

17:29They've got the aeroplane on the badge. Ah, right. Very close to the airport. We actually did a commentary at Eastleigh. You? Yes, you did. That's where you met. Who did you meet? Nigel Tassel. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And Hair Chapman presented from the stadium. And Nigel Tassel actually wouldn't want Ian going to Spenny Moore. He'd want you going to Spenny Moore, wouldn't he? He would. Because Nigel's the one who loves a bit of Kiefer Moore. Yes, he does. Taulor. Taulor. Taulor. Yeah, famous for? Chris Waddle. Chris Waddle. Yeah. Peter Quigley was the manager of Tow Law. And in fact, I actually did.

18:08They got to Wembley one year and I helped them with their Wembley song, which I've still got in my head. Yeah. So I did a mock commentary for them. So it must have been the FA Vars or the FA Trophy. They got to Wembley in the 90s. And I did a mock commentary for their Wembley song. I think it was Tell Me I'm Not Dreaming. I thought you were going to say you wrote the lyrics no but I also remember about Tal Law because with Chris having I think that's where he started wasn't that Tal Law it was yeah and also worked in the sausage factory yeah Chris and on one occasion at St James's Park I was working with Chris and Chris was walking to the commentary position ahead of me so Chris and of course whenever Chris goes anywhere he attracts attention but certainly at St James's Park.

19:00And I remember Chris walked through it, and I was a few steps behind, and as I did so, I heard some Newcastle fans saying to each other that, and I only heard the words Towelaw and sausages.

19:11So listen out for that on Five Live over the course of the coming days, the coverage of the FA Cup. And indeed, it'll be absolutely everywhere, and I'm sure they'll be talking about it on 606 as well. Always some great stories from the FA Cup. Also, we'll maybe have a few postmen in action in the FA Cup first round this weekend after when we were talking about our possible alternative careers through the fact that I might have been a postman if I wasn't a football commentator and Alistair in Hinderwell North Yorkshire writes in you were right about being a postman after a career as a senior manager with a large corporation Alistair retired and says he took a job as a rural postman in the Esk Valley he said it was a fantastic job it wasn't just the interaction with the public but also the fellow posties that made it.

19:58Also, keep your unintended pub names from football commentary coming in. Last week, we had the likes of The Flying Ballard, Chunky Porro, Dewsbury Hall, and the Majestic Munoz. Let's start with Tim in Gateshead, who's emailed in with something we didn't spot last week. And Tim says, Hi guys, great podcast. Pass us the time while painting spindles. Unintended pub names. During last week's Majestic Munoz commentary, I spotted another unintended pub name. He takes the extra touch, which allows Munoz to make up that ground and cut it out for the easy tap-in. The Majestic Munoz, so good at going in both directions.

20:43The easy tap-in, which we also had from Nicholas in South Africa, Richie in Ashford, Callum in Gateshead, Sam from Berkshire, Phil in Brighton, Gilla from Fulham, Chelsea supporter Brian, and Norwich fan Con. And Sue near Slough says it was two for the price of one. And I don't know how we missed that. I mean, I feel ashamed that we missed that. So Sam in East London says the easy tap in would make a good craft beer brewery. Ollie in West Sussex. This seemed like an open goal skied into Rose Ed. The Easy Tap In sounds like a charming and relaxed tap house with wooden beams serving craft beer and real ales.

21:25And Doncaster Rover supporter Matt says he's shocked that both a literal and figurative Easy Tap In was missed. He says we're all too busy imagining our Spanish beers and tapas in the majestic Munoz that we fail to notice it. And it goes on, Ali. Yes, Andy says so many people, so many people were across this one. Andy says the drinks would flow quite easily at the Easy Tap In. Susan, as far away as Hong Kong, says sounds like a great place to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. So there will be an easy tap in somewhere. And again, we're now going to have to take the pod and broadcast from there. Calamine leads the ideal spot for a pint that requires minimal effort to order and enjoy.

22:05There are more, Denno. Yes, Matt in York. Clearly, you were also keen to visit the majestic Munoz. You walk right past the easy tap in. Ashley in North Herefordshire, sounds like a country pub beneath an old oak tree with locals drinking ale at well-worn tables, reminiscing about the old blacksmith shop that used to be opposite in their father's day. Half a pint in the Easy Tap-In, see you there. And Robert in Yeovil, what about the Easy Tap-In off the crossbar? You see, I think the Easy Tap-In does actually sound like a modern establishment. I think that would be somewhere that is like being converted into a bar, the easy tap but it would be serving delicious craft ale whereas the Majestic Munoz I think would be an established place what about the Painted Spindle?

23:07yeah I don't see why not Tim and Gates said he was painting his spindles. Yeah, he did. Do you think there will be a pub called the Easy Tapping? Yeah. I don't. Well, there should be. But I think there could be. Maybe. Maybe. And that would definitely be a stopping point, wouldn't it? On the tour that we haven't mentioned for a long time. No, we haven't. Yeah. Mind you, there's some destinations there. South Africa. Yeah. Hong Kong. Tokyo, Hong Kong. Did you notice, by the way, in the classified information that we probably shouldn't speak about, that the episode of the commentator's view that was from the live event in Sheffield that we did is one of, if not the most popular, one of the podcasts that we've done.

24:00Did you spot that? I did. Okay. Because I wasn't involved in that. What are you saying? I wasn't so much thinking that, Ali. I was more thinking that it was the fact that it was what it was. On-site, live. Yeah, on-site. Absolutely, yeah. So are you suggesting that we should go back on the road? Well, I'm just saying that that was the outcome. The powers that be needed to... I'm just leaving it there, you see? I think you're suggesting the powers that be need to look at the hard evidence and get us back on the road. Well, you've done more than leave it hanging there. And going back to the matter in hand, George in Oxford, Mike in Liverpool and Dave in the Scottish Highlands have also suggested the easy tap in for Division One of our great glossary of football commentary.

24:52What do you think? So Division One for football exclusive terms, Division Two for terms used in football commentary, but also used in other sports. Could you have an easy tap in in another sport? I mean, it should be there. Easy tap-in should be in the, should certainly be in the glossary. Hockey, ice hockey, a tap-in. I mean, you do tap the ball. I've played hockey. I think they've too. I just want to mention as well, Ian, we had a message, or I had a message, possibly both of us, from a friend of ours, Ian Holliman, who was listening to us talking about the Maradona and the Zidane role. Was that last week or a couple of weeks ago?

25:35And Ian says, for pedantry's sake, the Maradona brackets, which I'd never heard actually brackets, is known as La Roulette in France and is immediately associated with Zinedine Zidane. But he's not mentioned as part of the name. So there was an addendum on that from Ian. Yeah, I think I said when we discussed this that my son Rory calls it either the Maradona or the Roulette Spin, I think he calls it, which is probably the English version of La Roulette. But you do, I mean, Zidane is the other one you particularly think of, I think, with that move. So that makes sense. So anything more on that or indeed any unintended pub names in a commentary?

26:16It doesn't have to be our commentary. It can be any commentary that you listen to that an unintended pub name comes up. Do let us know. tcv at bbc.co.uk and WhatsApps to 08000 289 369. From the start of your day to the moment you head home. Join 5 Live for the latest news, the stories everyone's sharing and the biggest debates. This is a really important moment. The days of sweeping this under the rug are over. Let's just get up and shit away and make a difference. Whatever the day throws at you will help make sense of it. From the headlines to the details that matter. Wake up with 5 Live Breakfast from 6 and go home with 5 Live Drive from 4.

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27:06We focus on the part of the internet that most people don't know about. It's called the dark web. Undercover in the furthest corners of the dark web, US special agents are on a mission to locate and rescue children from abuse. Move in now. From the BBC World Service, World of Secrets, the Darkest Web follows their shocking investigations. Listen on bbc.com or wherever you get your BBC podcasts. The Commentator's View on the Football Daily with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis. Now it is time for Clash of the Commentators, where last week Ali's four-match losing run came to an end on Champions League goal scorers, as did Ian's unbeaten run at the top of the table.

28:02First defeat of the season, Ian. And Ali was celebrating before he crossed the line, if you didn't hear it last week. So the current standings, top of the table, Ian with five points from six, which is still an excellent record. And then equal second in the table, me and the defending champion, Ali, with two from six. So today it is going to be Ali against you, John, to see who is going to lift themselves off the bottom of the table. Who wants to go first? I went first last week, so John, you should probably go first. But as I said last week, I think whoever wins this, John, will then play one of us or play.

28:47If that winner then plays Denno next week and can win that one. And I know that, you know, back-to-back wins is not easy to do in Clash of the Commentators for me and you. Suddenly, it's tight, so good luck. One win is not easy for you and me in Clash of the Commentators. Never mind two in a row. Well, yeah. When you've only got two from six, I would suggest that you're getting ahead of yourself. I do enjoy it when you come over all complacent. There is definitely a fall coming your way. Anyway, we're ready to go. Okay. Are you ready to go? I am ready to go. Okay. It's FA Cup first round weekend.

29:23Back in May, Crystal Palace became the 45th different club to lift the trophy. But I want you to name any team to have won the FA Cup more than once. Teams to have won the FA Cup more than once. Your time starts now. Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham, Everton, Aston Villa, did I say? West Brom,

29:55Manchester City, the Wanderers,