Bruno Fernandes brilliance and Spurs remain pointless – Football Weekly podcast

22:10Nicky Bandini:Unless he's not match fit either. He's not match sharp. He hasn't had a pre-season. Also, the Matthias Tell free kick was absolutely glorious, wasn't it? He was, I don't want to turn this into a Tottenham podcast, he was shocking. He just had one of them games where everything just went wrong for him because there was times in the first half when actually the game plan worked, isolated the winger against the fullback, and you think if that's Savio potentially and Die, maybe you get a different outcome. And Tottenham have bought too many players like Matisse Tell over the last five years where there's something there, but it's just not quite enough.

22:49Nicky Bandini:Yeah, you mentioned Indai. It looks like he's going to Tottenham for£60 million but Richarlison going to Everton for£35 million and Everton fans losing their minds and somehow someone is paying£35 million for Richarlison still. I mean, the numbers mean nothing. Look, Mark alluded to the Newcastle midfield and Gonzalez had a really good game, Barry. And actually, the Ilanga goal is such a crucial moment in that game and God, it's a brilliant goal from Ilanga.

23:13Max Rushden:It is a brilliant goal. They tried that move in the very first minute, I think. Lovely long pass from Gonzalez on that occasion. Alanga put it wide to the far post, I think. But this one, long ball. Newcastle had this clear plan to isolate Andy Robertson by getting Dedic forward with Alanga. Gonzalez played a wonderful diagonal pass from deep. Dedic headed it inside to Alanga. and he did really well to spin Tonali and lifted. A little bit lucky enough to post, rolled across the line. It took an age to cross the line, but across the line it did. While it pains me to praise Newcastle, I thought they were really good here.

23:59Max Rushden:They had a very poor first half when I think Tottenham should have gone a couple of goals ahead. I also think Tottenham should have had a penalty before Newcastle scored when Marmouche was fouled by Malik Thiau, who was late to contest a ball and kicked his boot. But Lewis Miley and Gonzalez look great in the midfield for Newcastle. Newcastle fans are finally getting to see the Johan Wisse and Ilanga that they paid big bucks for. Sven Bottmann was great. This Amar Dedic, a right back, he looks a good player. Lewis Hall was brilliant again. so it's very sad. Newcastle look like they'll be fine this season.

24:42Max Rushden:Yeah, that was one of your predictions. And their manager seems like a good bloke as well. It looks like they might have picked a good one there. I keep looking at him and thinking he's Scott Parker. I can't help it. I don't know what's happening. The German Scott Parker. Yeah. He looks like the faceless man from Game of Thrones, I think. What does he end up doing in that romp? I presume he gets his head cut off. I can't remember.

25:07Nicky Bandini:And there is a review of Game of Thrones. So, you know, it is an occupational hazard if you are, you know, one of Jon Snow's... He's a real weird, intense guy

25:17Max Rushden:who takes Arya Stark to, you know, she learns how to magic sort of thing. He's kind of a wizard-y guy.

25:27Nicky Bandini:Producer Joel says, I think that signals the end of part one. I don't know. I'm just getting into this. We'll be back in a second and we'll start at Anfield.

25:41Nicky Bandini:welcome to part two of the guardian football weekly live shows then tomorrow night we're at vicar street in dublin uh so a few tickets remaining so if you've got nothing to do come and watch us me barry john bruin jonathan wilson and lots of fun it says here yeah we've uh we've got some plans and it'll be great come along and we'll probably go to a nearby pub afterwards um but we won't bring a raw chicken this time just in case that one poor barman who's just there on a quiet Tuesday night and suddenly a thousand people all storm in with some lamb chops. And then the 9th of September, we're at the Soho Theatre in Walthamstow.

26:17Nicky Bandini:Johnny Lou is joining the four of us. So Mark and Nicky, come and see us, please. And that show is live streamed all across Earth. So no excuse for the 7 billion or so who inhabit this planet. Guardian.co.uk slash Football Weekly Live if you'd like to come. It'd be lovely to see you. to Anfield then Liverpool 2 Forest 2 Forest 2 twice in this game Mark Liverpool saved by Nunoz again were Liverpool lucky to get a point I think in the first half on the evidence of that yeah I think Liverpool could have definitely been behind before they were behind and even in the second half it wasn't great from Liverpool that's for sure I'm just trying to work out whether I've got a confirmation bias because I wasn't strong on Liverpool going into this season.

27:06I did think that there would be some issues and I'm not the only one to point out the midfield and the unbalanced nature of it. But I do wonder whether they've now played against maybe two of the best counter-attacking teams potentially in the league. Newcastle, we've already seen, are very good at that. And Forrest, under Glasner, what he had with Crystal Palace, they were a counter-attacking side. and when you've got Ndoy and the pace of him and the quality of Gibbs-White. So maybe they'll be better Liverpool when they come up against teams that don't want to counter-attack them in quite the same way.

27:44But there are clearly issues in that team that will need resolving at some point. And they keep wanting to buy attacking players. And Barclay, potentially overpriced, but he's better than what they've got on that left-hand side, so he will improve them. But I just think they're asking too much of the defence, you know, too often, really. And Iriola, like, he seems comfortable with kind of how they are in midfield, but it looks to me like they could do with getting somebody in because we spoke about Chelsea earlier on. I think they have got solutions, they're just maybe not around at the moment.

28:25I don't see those solutions for Liverpool. So I know it's an obvious sort of talking point with them, but it does look like a problem. Would you go with that, Baz?

28:36Max Rushden:Yeah, they seem quite easy to play through. The midfield seem to struggle to bring Alexander Isaac into the game. I know he scored in this spot. Otherwise, he looked quite an isolated figure. I think they have problems all over the pitch. The full backs weren't particularly good. Milos Kerk has yet to impress as a Liverpool player Starting the season with two draws is not the end of the world We know Andan Iarola is a slow starter It takes a while for players to learn his way of doing things Concerned maybe with that Bournemouth through an awful lot of games last season Up to 16, 17 in the Premier League That is a lot of draws they don't look as if they'll be threatening to win the title and the evidence, the very early evidence of what we've seen so far.

29:32Nicky Bandini:Yeah, it's interesting with Izak as well, Nicky, isn't it? It's almost hard to recall how brilliant he was at Newcastle, having seen him just not look anywhere near the same. I don't know if that is a service thing or a confidence thing or all of those things put together, but we know how brilliant he is. Yeah, I think it's a style of play thing as well and the way that you're delivering the ball. I mean, it's worth reminding ourselves, he does score in this game. Gakpo, it was a lovely, lovely turning cross from Gakpo, who still, again, by the time people listen to this, if the report's to be believed, might not be at the club.

30:07I find that a very odd transfer. Do you find it weird as well,

30:10Nicky Bandini:because he's started the season really well and not many Liverpool players have? I know it is only two games, but then you're like, actually, it just looks, the optics are bad. Right, and especially going to another Premier League club. like that that I I'm again it might not happen we're we're talking at a time that everything's going to be going crazy because it's the end of the transfer window but it it seems very odd um but yeah you know he's like took that chance um when it was served to him I I think it's I don't know I don't want to keep repeating this but it's two games into the season and I think give our Irola time to to work that out I I do feel like the bigger problems as as Baz and uh Mark just alluded to, to me, feel like the middle of the park.

30:52It felt like Schlager and McAtee had far the better of those exchanges with Schrappeslein and McAllister. And that was, I mean, a credit to Nottingham Forest as well. I think Nottingham Forest played a really, really tight tactical game and really were in controller spaces, really were working hard all over the pitch. Morgan Gibbs-White doing great work forward and backwards. I don't know. I think Isaac last season feels like you just kind of have to write it off. Now you've got a new manager, you've got a new system. It's very clearly a work in progress. I think I'm willing to wait and see if he's got a better understanding of how to get the best out of that forward.

31:31But it is, I suppose, that is one thing that's a bit awkward is you've done that last summer. You've gone out and spent the big lump on a striker, which is always one of those purchases that is supposed to be an investment that lasts you for a while. does he fit the style of football now under a completely different system? And that's the to be determined in my eyes, I think. Sure.

31:52Nicky Bandini:You don't want to spend a big lump on a big lump. And I mean, I did love Forrest.

31:58Max Rushden:Forrest spent a big lump on a big lump and he was instrumental in scoring the goal or winning the penalty to put them 2-1 ahead.

32:08Nicky Bandini:Yeah. And actually, I mean, Igor Jesus, is he a big lump? but he did really well for the opening goal. It was that huge punt upfield. It was an absolutely lover goal that begins with just hoeing upfield and Liverpool's defence just running away. Key performance for Glasner who needed that after two disappointing runs. We have to talk about the substitution. Yes. So the penalty is won when Liverpool want to make a triple substitution. The fourth official, Tim Robertson, had two boards on the floor and was pressing with the buttons. And Barry, you were explaining to me how these boards worked yesterday on the radio.

32:43Max Rushden:It's a bit like my air fryer. You have to toggle up or down from, you know, 100 or 20 or whatever. Apparently, the team who are making the substitutions, their backroom staff are supposed to put the numbers in the boards, and then the fourth official checks them and holds them up. Tim Robinson was the fourth official. He was doing it here. Each board can only handle two substitutions at a time, hence the need for the two boards. I'm not sure why it took it so long. I think we established on the radio it was because Ngomua has such a high shirt number. Yeah, 73 apparently. But it certainly got on Anthony Iriola's goat and it's a process that should be straightforward.

33:32Max Rushden:I don't think it's a process that's even required because the stadium announcer could announce who's coming on and off and the referee could tell whoever's going off, they're going off.

33:43Nicky Bandini:I mean, lucky for Tim that there weren't five subs because then he'd need a third board if he could only have two on each board. With squad numbers getting so high, surely they must be able to make a board where you could just write 7-3 for 73 rather than Tim Robinson going 1-2-3-4. What if you accidentally get to 74? Do they have to go all the way up and then back to naught again?

34:02Max Rushden:It's like setting a digital watch. It's like...

34:08Nicky Bandini:Anyway. On Friday night, Man City won 4-1 at Palace. City can be hard to love sometimes, Mark, but Rayan Cherky is such a joy in his first ever brace and he had a great game. Yeah, although afterwards he said he was angry with himself and not setting up Haaland more often and says that from next week he'll do that and create more chances for Haaland to score. I was knocked over by how good City were in this game. and it's a different city. They can't play the same way with Pep Guardiola gone. I wasn't impressed with them at all against Bournemouth. This idea that Gai in midfield worked, just completely disagreed with, even though he scored.

34:52He scored from a set piece. But it was a much more kind of normal kind of look to the team in terms of players in the right position against Crystal Palace. And they were a threat just every time they went forward. But Cherki was fantastic. Haaland obviously took his goals as you would expect Haaland.

35:12Nicky Bandini:It really was. It was a great camera angle for it as well. Sort of looked in from the moment he headed it. Foden had an indifferent first half really where he was getting into the right positions and didn't take the chances. But he grew into the game as well. And yeah, it was again, talking about Alonso earlier on, to get that combination play going so early, I think will have pleased Maresca. An interesting atmosphere, though, Max. I don't know if you saw the story before the game about the Palace Ultras disbanding and not working as a group anymore. It issued a statement on that saying they're unhappy with lots of things around the club and modern football, etc.

35:56And it didn't feel like Selhurst was hostile. Evening game, yeah. Yeah, it didn't feel quite as hostile as it could be, given it was Sarge's first game as well. So they'll want home advantage because it's been a tricky start for a new manager with Mateta not wanting to be there, Sarge not wanting to be there. They've lost a couple of players as well. It just feels really unsettled at the moment at Crystal Palace, but from a City point of view, yeah, I really enjoyed watching that.

36:27Nicky Bandini:Sort of like a game of British Bulldog where Pierre Sarge is there and all the players are trying to run past him. Mateta, and he's caught Mateta, and then Daniel Munoz has skipped through and gone to Forest. You're like, how dare you? But, I mean, that's an interesting point, I think, Barry, because those Palace fans at home do make such a difference to that side. I think they have reason, don't they, to be frustrated because, you know, they're selling all their players. But at the same time, your expectations change so quickly in football, right? You know, you win, like the last three years have been the most successful three years Crystal Palace have ever, ever had.

36:58Nicky Bandini:And I suppose it's trying to balance all of those things, I guess, the ownership with that.

37:02Max Rushden:Yeah, when I heard that about the Homesdale Fanatics disbanding, my immediate reaction was like, oh, this is like someone pompously announcing they're leaving Twitter. You know, you don't need to do that. Just stop tweeting. But their concerns are valid, I think. Their team is basically being sold off for spare parts. I mean City were comfortable winners in this game but I didn't think Palace were terrible they were a bit like their game against Everton last week they were good in spots Tariq Mitchell and Eddie Nketiah both missed really good chances when Palace were only a goal down if they'd gone in who knows what might have happened probably a City win anyway but Sellers Park is one of not many Premier League grounds where there's a really good atmosphere and if they lose that as well as a load of their best players, it could be a bad season for them.

38:00Nicky Bandini:If they disband but their season tickets are all in the same place, are they all still sitting next to each other but they're just not a going concern? How does that work? I don't know.

38:11Max Rushden:If England cricket's barmy army, we're still here, we're just not barmy anymore.

38:20Nicky Bandini:It's possible. Hull, top of the league, or joint top at least. 100 % records. Halfway to beating the Derby points total already, which Baz predicted they may not do. Look, it's a brilliant start for them, Nicky. And like, you know, those games now where you think, you know, you come the end of the season, you take three points off a team you expect also to be down there. And maybe Hull will surprise us like Sunderland did last year. But just to win your first two is an unbelievable start. Yeah, it's the same discourse as before. Tottenham won their first games last year, it doesn't guarantee you anything.

38:54A season could still be hard, but I think there's so much encouraging about the way that they're playing. I'd heard good things about Djokovic before this season. I do feel like he's looking already like he's just a good tactician doing sensible, nothing necessarily that's rewriting the playbook, but the team, I think contrasting, because there was such a contrast, even talking about Chelsea before and how their back three had these spaces between them that didn't look right. When you see Hull defending, their back three is so compact in this game. They've given up something like 70 crosses across their first few games, but it doesn't matter because they've got these three big centre-backs who are controlling that space inside the area so well.

39:37And they are playing effective counter-attacking football when they want to. I mean, they got the winning goal through Miller. He absolutely should have passed instead of shooting a few minutes earlier, and they could have scored before they did. So it wasn't necessarily the most eye-catching performance of the weekend. It wasn't necessarily sparkling, ridiculous seven-goal football like we had in some other games. But it was just good, well-organised team play that was very, very effective. And I think they've done that now in two games in a row. They haven't conceded a goal in their first two games back in the Premier League.

40:14I think there's lots and lots to look at here and think they've got a very good chance of fighting to stay in the division.

40:20Nicky Bandini:The chance before that Miller put wide when he couldn't and should have passed it, actually it's set up by McBurney. The more I see McBurney, Mark, and having been at the Abbey to watch Lyndon Dykes look okay for Millwall, Millwall reserves, I was thinking, how did McBurney not make the Scotland squad? Because he has got something different. He's a really smart, intelligent, creative footballer. He's played very well in these opening two matches. Clearly, it has to have been an issue between player and manager because even last season, he was playing better than some of the strikers that went to the World Cup, that's for sure.

40:57And actually, when you look at the way Scotland played, having someone like McBurney up there that would have held it up, brought others into it, the midfielders. McTominay, for instance, maybe has a better World Cup if McBurney's the one that's holding it up. and then releasing him. What I like about Hull, and I'll say this, I don't really want to watch them for 90 minutes every week because I don't think it's going to be a great watch, but they know kind of who they are and what they want to be. Coventry, on the other hand, they've brought in new players as of Hull, but I still think they're figuring out, they were a possession-based team in the Championship, can we still be that in the Premier League?

41:37It's a difficult conundrum, I think, for Frank Lampard in terms of how they try and approach this season. Whereas Hull, they did this last season in the Championship, so they're very comfortable in their skin. And they will play like this, I would say, for the 38 matches. And I don't expect it to be enough, but what a great start. And you're right on McBurney. He's a good player to watch. There aren't enough players like McBurney in the Premier League anymore. Yeah, some Steve Clarish vibes for me.

42:08Nicky Bandini:Only three teams have ever been relegated from the Premier League, having won their first two games. One of those teams is Hull, by the way. So, you know, just to, you know, take away having given you that hope. And that'll do for part two. Part three, we'll begin at Bournemouth.

42:25Nicky Bandini:Welcome to part three of the Guardian Football Weekly. Bournemouth won Everton won. I really enjoyed this game, Barry.

42:30Max Rushden:Yeah, it was good. I think a draw was probably a fair result in the end. Everton will feel they should have won because Jordi Petrovic made some, I think, at least three really, really good saves for Bournemouth. Bournemouth went ahead. Their goal, it was all about Evan Eelsen, I think. He chased a long ball upfield and turned James Karkowski inside out and then set up Alex Scott, who set himself and fired into the corner. Tiernan O 'Barry was back to the, probably the Thierry and El Barry were more accustomed to rather than the ones that roared out of the traps in the first two games this season with four goals.

43:12Max Rushden:He missed two very presentable chances, although I would give him the benefit in doubt and say it was more brilliant saves that denied him than his own shortcomings as a finisher, but he should have scored. But the Everton goal, Marco Rosé described it as slapstick and he was right. two Bournemouth players got in each other's way trying to clear the ball at a corner it dropped for Tarkowski and he just made sure to hit the target and in it went

43:42Nicky Bandini:Not a hilarious slapstick I mean I'm not saying you know Laurel and Hardy the Chuckle Brothers wouldn't have finished a show with that

43:49Max Rushden:It wasn't the Chuckle Brothers bringing a giant pane of glass across the street

43:53Nicky Bandini:No, no It was sort of it was in the you know look we need highs and lows in this scene so we'll do a you know we'll save the pane of glass the end this is just a bit of ladder work you know just spinning with the ladder that's what it was the the Petrovic stayed from the Branthwaite header early that flick is it's absolutely unbelievable piece of goalkeeping I think um and Mikelenko did this sort of double block there's a moment where Everton defenders were just hurling themselves at the ball the whole time I don't think so Pickford's celebration after that was uh yeah he'd love to get involved but no I was I was I don't know if I was gonna just steal your thunder there Max and say well I think the big story for Everton was kind of off the pitch really um I must admit when I saw on Saturday morning that um Forrest were bidding 40 million for Armstrong I was like do I even know he is um and I was like wow like 40 million you've got to take that and then the Everton fans were up in arms and sort of suggesting that maybe this would be like when Newcastle sold Elliot Anderson and yeah I appreciate like he's a player that's just passed me by really and you know it would have been a a kick in the teeth to have lost him um clearly but David Moyes after the game I I just like there's something reassuring about an angry David Moyes like I think all is all is well with uh with the Premier League if if Moyes is um sort of furious in the and he always does it in this sort of way where he gives very short answers um there's a bit of code in there and you have to try to work out you know um just how angry on that one to ten he is.

45:23I think he's about an eight at the moment. He's ready to blow, but let's wait and see what comes from the last couple of days.

45:31Nicky Bandini:So there's Harrison Armstrong, the owners were going to sell him and then Moyes and the fans said, don't do it and they've sort of reneged on him.

45:36Max Rushden:Do you think maybe that was a smokescreen so they could slip Illum and Njai out the side door and bring it welcome back with Charleston?

45:45Nicky Bandini:I was going to say, you know, Barry's missed those chances. It's alright. Charleston can miss them next week. But I mean, but there is a serious point here, Nicky, in that It shows this kind of pure profit for academy players is inherently wrong because it just goes against the point. You are better off sending your best academy player to some other club and then buying them two years later. All of football transfer market stuff recently feels like it's become this incredibly odd, counterintuitive set of motivations for everyone. You've got teams selling off entire squads because of PSR. I mean, Aston Villa are the obvious case in the Premier League and just having to completely get assets stripped after a period when they've been building up something.

46:29But the stuff with academy players, I mean, I don't know how aware of this move places people outside of Premier League folks to be. But this summer, I mean, Nico Paz at Colmo, who was bought by them, not taken on loan, bought by them a couple of years ago, has been there for two years. Real Madrid retained an option to buy him back for about 11 million euros. They bought him back and almost the same day sold him back so that then they could have another, a new release clause put in at 60 million euros. All of it feels fake. All of it feels like it's this whole like elaborate setup that they're all doing.

47:07And it's going to be in reality, like this is how smart clubs do business from now on. It's going to be coming up with more elaborate ways to, I guess, manipulate the bottom lines and make the numbers look how they're supposed to look but without breaching rules and without breaking laws, I guess.

47:24Max Rushden:Yeah. Sunderland 1-0, Barry? Big win for Sunderland because there's some tough fixtures coming up. Brentford, Arsenal and I think Manchester City. So they needed to get some points on the board here and they did. It wasn't a very good game. Nordy Mukiali impressed for Sunderland. Wilson Isidore hit one off the foot of the post after brilliant build-up work by Granit Xhaka and Enzo Le Fay and then scored a second time of Askin after a great Muki Ali pass down the line to Habib Diara who squared the ball for Isidore. Bernd Leno made an absolute dog's breakfast. He should have saved that, but he went with his feet instead of his hands to try and block the ball at Isidore's feet.

48:16Max Rushden:But yeah, good win for Sunderland and much needed because, as I said, they've three really difficult games coming up.

48:24Nicky Bandini:And then finally Leeds-Brentford, which I thought was a good game. I thought Brentford, Mark, were pretty unlucky in this. They were all over Leeds for certainly the first half. The Shard of goal. Well, let's spend some time on the Shard of goal. That's absolutely glorious. Yeah, I don't feel like you got enough praise, actually. There are times when I was watching the Chelsea game at the time, so sort of relying on updates elsewhere on social media. And you know, sometimes people go crazy over a goal, and then you see it, and you're like, oh, it's kind of ruined because you're expecting this unbelievable, I don't know, volley from 40 yards.

49:01But this one, I felt, was underplayed. The skill to be able to control that in a deliberate way, it wasn't lucky. it was a brilliant finish from Sharda who I think is an exceptional talent actually one of them that Brentford when they want to sell him will get an absolute fortune for you're right Max that Brentford should have won this game and the penalty you were more angry than me over the fact that Sharda but I think it's a foul

49:33Nicky Bandini:so therefore I think it's a penalty but I've got to say My anger levels are very, I'm really, I'm even. There's no part of me that's seething about it. No, but just, I mean, to go to Leeds, who I think are a good side this year, dominate them at Ellen Road and be disappointed to finish with a point, I suggest to me that Brentford missed out on Europe last season, but really should be aiming for sort of top six, seven this time around.

50:02Max Rushden:So I should have mentioned, actually, speaking of Europe, Sunderland got their Europa League draw on Friday. So I had to Google one of the teams that are playing, Torinth, who are a Portuguese second division side. Mark hilariously pointed out that they probably had to Google Sunderland as well. They also got Jagiellonia. And the only reason I know a Polish side, the only reason I know who they are is because they knocked out Rangers. But it's not the most glam draw imaginable. Dinamo Zagreb at home, and AC Milan away are the standout fixtures. And Newcastle fans have a song called You'll Never See a Macam in Milan.

50:44Max Rushden:So they're going to have to shelve that one.

50:47Nicky Bandini:I thought at the start of when you said Terence, I thought you said you're going to have to Google Torino. And I thought, well, I know you're not here as a Euro expert, but I thought maybe even they hadn't entirely passed you by over these years. is Calvert-Lewin the only player to have scored in the last 11 Premier League seasons. So well done to him. Villa-Arsenal tonight. So we'll talk about that on tomorrow's podcast. I like this question from Steve, the people losing their minds early. Can anyone explain what Arsenal are doing? Must have the worst attack in Europe while bending over backwards for a player that doesn't want to come to us.

51:18Nicky Bandini:Nicky, please tell us something. I think Nicky's, I really hope you totally agree and I've lost your mind too, but I feel like you've got quite a good attack. The worst attack in Europe is certainly a stretch. We've still got Ryan Loft kicking about. I do think it's this close to the end of the transfer window. I think it should be remarked on that they are saying goodbye to Martinelli and Trossard and Jesus. That's more than 100 appearances for them last season. I think it's more than 130 appearances for them last season. And Martinelli, while he was far from prolific, he was their top scorer in the Champions League with six goals overall, 11 goals.

51:58was actually like their joint second with Saka in all competitions. So there is a question of why they haven't done something more in terms of their business this summer and whether they've been too hung up on certain players where, I don't know, the feeling isn't mutual maybe. And I'll be interested to see if something does get done before the end of the transfer window. But yes, I would agree that that's a little bit hyperbolic to say the worst attack in Europe.

52:26Nicky Bandini:It's harsh on Saka, isn't it? Champions League draw at the headlines. Then Liverpool home to Atleti away to Inter Milan, amongst others. Villa have PSG at home, Barca away. City, PSG at home, Barca away. Man United have Bayern Munich at home, Atleti away. And Arsenal, Real Madrid at home, Bayern away. And Sabah at home. Speaking of teams we've never heard of. Gunnar in Paris says, were Cambridge mummed off dot com, Max? Yeah. Neil Harris, who is so football and post-match. We lost 2-1 at home to Huddersfield. One up with 10 minutes to go. We scored late and then they equalized straight away. And then we conceded a penalty that was a clean tackle outside the box.

53:04Nicky Bandini:But our goal, we also pushed one of their players over, to be fair. But afterwards, Neil Harris did say, in proper Neil Harris way, we've been mugged off. We've been propermuggedoff.com. There's another podcast. There are other podcasts available. I don't know if you know. Yeah, but there is. There is. There is. On a different podcast, there is a section on it called Bloke or Geezer, where they discuss whether someone is a bloke or a geezer. I think Neil Harris is absolute geezer on every sense of it. He just won't. He's definitely not bloke. Is that Josh James? Is that that? Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

53:39Nicky Bandini:Josh James. Had him on the radio. Yeah, he's good and they're funny. But yeah, he is absolute. He's geezer and he's football geezer. The amount of times he says football club in a sentence is absolutely glorious. Tom says, dear Max Barry and the rest, could we please have a special mention to our dear friend Luca, who's getting married to his lovely fiancé in Spain on September the 12th. Unfortunately, on the 24th of August, disaster struck when Luca suffered a bout of testicular torsion. Oh, bollocks. Yes, bollocks tangled up. This ill-timed twist of fate, pardon the pun, has meant he'll be on antibiotics for the wedding as well as the stag do the weekend before, meaning he won't be able to drink.

54:18Nicky Bandini:It poses an interesting question. Which of the panel do you think will be more painful? A, testicular torsion, or B, having a completely sober stag do in Benidorm with 18 of your very drunk and unsympathetic mates. Oh, God. I mean, it's bad enough if you could drink. We thought this would be right in the Football Weekly mailbag wheelhouse, with it being testicle adjacent and a tale of newlyweds. Our Luca is a huge Football Weekly fan. I know Barry, wishing him and his tangled tackle all the best on his big day would mean the world to him and help take away some of his pain. All the best, keep up the good work.

54:49Nicky Bandini:So that is Luca. Tom doesn't even give the name of his lovely fiancée. That gives me much work. Yes, just lovely.

54:58Max Rushden:Well, I hope she's gentle with Luca on the wedding night. Well, of course. Blimey. Well, if Luca is tempted to have a few pints of Benidorm, I would strenuously advise against it if he wants to avoid a certain Munich-type incident. Got it. Because that's what happened to me.

55:16Nicky Bandini:Right, okay. Well, I don't know. rub salt into the wounds it's probably not the right phrase but anyway yes best of luck to you Luca that stag do it sounds awful anyway but now it sounds absolute imagine being able to to be able to see it in pure sober through sober eyes it's an absolute disaster but good luck I don't think I'd call I don't think I'd finish it I think good idea stay on the sofa I've just started watching Ludwig very entertaining you could do that instead alright that'll do for today thanks everybody thank you Baz thank you thanks Nikki thanks thanks Mark thank you Max we'll see you in Dublin tomorrow night and we're back for a pod tomorrow as well Football Weekly is produced by James Pike Watson our executive producer is Joel Grove we're back tomorrow

56:05Max Rushden:this is The Guardian