When the Siren Stops: What Really Happens After the Call Ends (And Why No One Talks About It) | Ep 290 with John P. Yirku

0:04So, John, I'm very excited to have you on today because I've always had a place in my heart for first responders. My grandfather was a retired New York police officer. He had been in for many decades. He was also in the military before that. And so I can imagine the stuff that you had to go through, seeing as you were not only police officer, EMT, firefighter, you were many different things. and I really appreciate that you are now helping people. And I know you have your new book out as well, When the Siren Stops. But John, I think people don't really understand what it's like to be a first responder.

0:51So if somebody asks you, John, what is it like to be a first responder? What would you say to them? I think a first responder is one who likes to serve. But what people don't realize is there's a lot of things that go on behind the scenes that the public doesn't realize that what we face and what we see are totally different from what the public sees as first responders. They see us as going into the fire or helping people in a crisis as a police officer, but they don't see what happens afterwards. And so what would you say happens afterwards? Like what is this mental health struggle that I imagine many of them go through.

1:30Yeah, a lot of the mental health struggles is actually bottling stuff up and stacking and stacking the responses that they see and hear, but not releasing it. They're holding it inside. They don't want to release it. They think, oh, I don't want to burden somebody or I don't want to put that on someone else. They keep bottling up and they don't want to talk about it. That's the thing. They don't want to talk about it. And that's one of the main goals in my book is you have to recognize it and then you need to reach out. So what was that moment for you personally when you said, okay, I need to do this because if not, it's going to be really bad for me long-term?

2:13Yeah. The day I recognized that I had an issue was I was playing on the floor with my grandson and we were just having a fun time. We were playing with tractors and stuff on the floor and stuff. And then all of a sudden I wasn't there. I was off somewhere. We live in an accident that my wife and her on was a very tragic accident. And I was looking at, and then all of a sudden I snapped back and my grandson was looking at me like, what's wrong? That's when I realized that, hey, it doesn't only affect us, it affects our families. And that's when I realized that it sticks with us. And I needed to get that message out that it's just not just me.

2:57It's everybody needs to reach out and look for that connection. So what do you think will make people move to being more open, being more vulnerable about these things, being able to talk about them publicly? What they need to do is they have to realize that family is important to them, and when they realize that family wants to help, and you have to help with that, people want to help, but they don't know how to help. And to reach out is the main goal. You have to sit there as a first responder and say, hey, I'm not alone. There's other people just like me. I need to find out how I can connect to somebody.

3:41How do I reach that person? How do we connect with each other? There's what we call, as I call, is a code yellow is where you just text somebody and say, hey, I'm not okay, but hey, that's okay. We can connect and we can discuss it. We don't need to stack it. We need to reach out. We need to communicate. And to do that by reaching out to others that are in the same field or even to mental health professionals that can give you guidance in what to do. But the main goal is to communicate and to reach out. If you could say that there's three steps that every single first responder needs to do in order to better themselves, what would those be?

4:24That's part of my book is I developed a four-pillar system. But first thing you have to recognize, recognize what the situation is and why you're doing it. Do I have sleepless nights? Am I irritable? Do I snap at my wife? Those things that you have to recognize. And what's causing that? You have to recognize that. When you recognize that, then you have to reach out. You reach out. How do I reach out? Talk to your wife. Talk to your spouse. Talk to a friend. Talk to communication or your pastor or something. But then you have to respond. And how do you respond? You respond by letting people in, letting your emotions show you're not alone.

5:12You can do this by also connecting with others by just being there for them. I had a friend of mine who was, we talked about this accident that my wife are involved in. But it was an accident in my book where I talk about where there was 11 people died in one accident. And with that accident, one of the other, the driver that was involved in the accident was a fellow firefighter of mine. He was there and he comes up to me and says, hey, what can I do to help? I said, no, no, no. We got this. You have to stay away. But after all that, we connected and I went over and I just went to him and I just sat there and say, Hey, I'm here.

5:58That's all I did. He didn't, he didn't communicate. He didn't say anything. I was just there, just the presence of me being there just to reach out to know that somebody you're not alone. That's the main thing. So I know you and your wife were firefighters and EMTs. And I think most people will probably never understand what that's like to share the badge with their spouse, but also sharing the traumas that you both have faced. What has this partnership taught you about healing and about love? Boy, that's something that I really enjoy talking about is being able to communicate with my spouse. She has her views.

6:42I have my views. But yet we can talk about that. We can bounce that off of each other. How did you feel? How did you feel about that? How did you affect you? How did it affect me? I'm irritable. I can tell her, hey, I'm not okay today. You know, and she can say, okay, that's fine. But being the understanding that we have, that communication is awesome. We know how to communicate. And that's one of the partnerships that I enjoy. Our love has gone deeper. We understand each other and we can give each other space. But yet that bond is so close being in that same field and understanding each other and how we work together as well.

7:28Isn't it amazing how something as simple as communication can solve the world problems, but we are really bad at communicating, right? Like I think I've been through that too, where I wasn't really great communicator. And it was, you know, a destroyer of many relationships. And I have really had to learn. It's so simple, yet it is so hard. What are what are some moments that you had where you look back and that they make you smile? And maybe maybe you met somebody who you saved many years later, or maybe just a moment where you made such an enormous difference, which I'm sure there's many. Yeah, I think one of the main moments was a co-worker of mine working in the EMS field.

8:12He was also working on the service that I did. I actually had to respond to him and actually did CPR on him. And actually, he came back and we brought him back. And to actually have him come to me and say, hey, thank you. You know, being that we're in the same field, we do the same work, we did the same work, But to have him come back and just say, hey, I was knowing that I was there for him and him to come back and just say thank you. I mean, that's that's so rewarding. Not only to help save a coworker, but just to have to save a life in that awesome moment. It was just amazing. Wow. I can I can only imagine that feeling is something that would stick with you forever.

9:00Talk about legacy, right? We always think like, what can we leave to this planet? But if we can help somebody in that moment, I mean, that's legacy enough. When you think about legacy and mission now that, I'm sorry, are you retired? No, I'm currently serving. I currently serve on two volunteer fire departments. And I understand your mission as a first responder. You mentioned it earlier. But when you think about outside of the work, now you have this book. And I know writing a book, I have a book myself, and writing a book was like two and a half years. And I don't know if I would ever want to do it again.

9:40It's not an easy thing. People don't realize reliving everything can be very traumatic in itself. But why did you feel that right now in your life in 2025, this was such a critical time for this book? Because we see and hear all the noise out there of first responders doing the good work and doing what they do. But we need the support and the guidance from others, family, professionals, and a program, something that tells us we're not alone. We need to reach out. We need to rebuild. We're not alone. It's okay to tell someone, hey, I'm not okay. It's okay to tell somebody I'm not okay, but also that, hey, I need help.

10:39We bury the stigma of, hey, I'm tough. I can handle it. We need to get the message out there that, hey, it's okay to say I'm not okay. I need help. People are afraid to reach out for help because, hey, we're tough first responders. We can't do that. It'll make us look weak. No, you're not weak. You're human. And that's what we need to, that message we need to get out there. So the fact that you're still working, I mean, even though you've been through all these things and you've been a first responder for many, many decades, you've worked in so many different fields, yet you still have time to give back.

11:17And I think that just makes it shows how great of a human you are. And I'm honored to have this conversation with you today. But if people I'm sure everyone needs to read this book, it doesn't matter if they are a first responder or are not. Everyone has a situation where they need to probably reach out to somebody and they can learn a lot from this. But if you want to get in a book, how can they do so? It's available on Amazon. And it's also I do have an audio book on Audible that's also available. And I do have my website, whenthesirenstops.com. They can reach me there and look for my book there as well.

11:55Well, John, Yerku, When the Siren Stops. So go to whenthesirenstops.com. I love the title and I love the URL and just what you're doing. I'm just truly honored that you, I got to have this conversation and I hope millions of people around the world will be impacted by not only your story, but also your pillars and everything you're doing to help. So thank you so much for joining us on Founder's Story. And thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to share my message.