A Demure Episode

0:00All right, Alex, I'm going to need your raw dog this podcast. No distractions, no other work Just, you know Nothing but podding I forgot how long that video is Holy shit It's a minute and 45 seconds That's a long ass video we made It's like longer than most movie trails 3, 2, 1 Captain Captain it's been a while yeah i didn't even know how to do the kevin right kevin that's uh that's enough that's enough kevin see i miss i don't got it that's fine i don't fucking got it we'll get it back i'm sure we'll be oh god man we gotta fucking figure this shit out i know this is like coming back after like a long off season that's how it feels kev well i was looking at uh the pods we've been doing and a lot of guest episodes yeah no we've had a lot A lot of guests.

0:59Great episodes. The guest episodes are great. Yeah. But they do take probably like, you know, double the work. Oh, for you? Well, you know, I just like... For me? When it's just us, it's just, you know, I can... I literally can fall asleep and be like, all right, you know, that's fine. I could, you know, I don't have to be as diligent behind the wheel. Oh, of the editing? Yeah. I think you need to be more diligent, I hope, because when the guests are on... Oh, you care what the guest experience is for them, but you don't care about what I say? So if I say some outlandish shit, just let it go? No, but I usually – there hasn't been anything – you've been listening to all of them, right?

1:35You're being mindful. You're being very careful for our guests, which is a very considered thing to do as the editor of the show. When a guest comes on, you don't want to make sure that they look and sound the best that they can. What's also – I'm doing a YouTube for them. That's right. The trailer. That's fair. And I do also – I'm a little bit more diligent with making just – know yeah trying to not do them dirty i i like that i think that i mean i don't do us dirty i don't think i've ever done us dirty no you haven't so you haven't there's only been like a handful of times where i was like i thought we were going to edit that out and it's in the show but that's fine you know this is uh we're not perfect show business we're not perfect and this is training camp for us we're pre-season where the real season's coming up so we're we're just kind of We're getting back into the flow.

2:20What's the real season? Later. Later in the year. Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just kind of coming back to the weight room and to the sort of team. Getting our legs back under us. Yeah, we're just getting the legs back under us. This is, you know, just mano y mano doing the drill. Oklahoma drill. I know, but I think since May, I think we've only done like four solo laps. What better time than right now? Yeah. I think this is number five. Well, here's the thing. We haven't done a ton of solo apps, and I do not apologize because the person that is responsible for that reason is you. I don't know if it's all me.

2:58Kevin, you've been traveling all summer long. You are a man of great wealth and knowledge of the European countryside. Well, I'd say not as much wealth these days. I'm flushing it all down the toilet. Went to Hawaii, Colorado, Italy, Milan, Slovakia, and Berlin in the last month. Yeah. That's true? Well, not in the last month. Oh, like in the last few months. Yeah, I mean, since like 4th of July. Dude, that's a wild run. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Sorry for being popular. Dude, I mean. Getting invited to all these damn weddings. Yeah, you're in like peak wedding season. But like even when I was going to a lot of weddings, like none of my friends got married in Milan.

3:39Well, it was like Como actually. Oh, sorry. It was much fancier than Milan. Okay. Oh, sorry. A pile of garbage compared to Lake Solo. Well, I mean, Kevin, I do think as far as wedding guests go. I'm an all-time. We haven't been to a wedding together, but I know you're all-time. Yeah. I know. I could just see it. I know how to do it. I know cruising altitude. Yes, yeah. Like, you know, back in the day, you know, in the early 20s, was blacking out at weddings. That's not a good wedding guest. We don't want that. I was blacking out and writing weird things in the family Bibles of my relatives. You don't want that.

4:11That's a bad guy. I'm spilling full beers on my nephew right after he falls asleep in a stroller. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Pretty not good stuff. But as I've aged, you know, I've come a long way. I know how to pace myself. The open bar is not daunting to me anymore. I know how to do it. So I'm a great wedding guest. I love to party. That's true. And also, you know how to put that shit on. Yeah. Thank you. I will say for the listeners out there who do not follow Kevin on Instagram, they should. when Kevin goes to your wedding and invite him to your wedding because he will go wherever it is. I will.

4:47I will. He he does a thing that I used to do in my day, which was I want to show out at the wedding every time. And so maybe, you know, it's not just like I'm going to go back into my closet and grab that old suit. I'm going to like I'm going to step it up. And that's a way of showing respect, you know, by showing up and looking great. Well, that's true. But yes, you I think I get a bad rep around here because I always – Because you order your loafers here? Well, I order a lot of things here. I know. The reliable shipping and receiving. That's good. It's a very big bonus. Listen, we have an office for a good reason.

5:23But I don't know where I was going with that. You look great. You get new loafers. You wore tux. It was black tie. I had to wear tux. I had to put that shit on. It was a beautiful look. have you well oh well i get a bad rep around here because i'm always dressing like shit because i ride my bike and i'm all sweaty all the time so i don't wear any of my nice clothes and you know i don't want to i can't wear the loafers on the bike like that's crazy and i'm not willing to not take the bike and you know it's a whole thing but you know i tend to kind of look like a schlub especially in the summer in new york i i tend to just dress like a eighth grader yeah but um i I don't know.

6:01It's fun to put that shit on. Yeah, so any highlights of Lake Como, Milan, Berlin? Good food, I imagine. Oh, yeah, the best. Pastas. I've never been to it. I've never been to any of these places. We stayed at a very fancy hotel because that's where the wedding was. Sure, you have no choice. Yeah, I had no choice. And the breakfast there was phenomenal. All you could eat lox. It's like swordfish, lots of cold cuts, excellent pastries. It was pretty great. The coffee was great. Espresso, cappuccinos. and then yeah I mean the wedding was phenomenal it was probably the most bougie shit I've ever been to in my life probably the most bougie shit I will ever be at in my life yeah on the water on the water yeah I mean it was it was deluxe they they really they shelled out like it was cool to cosplay as a rich person and uh yeah yeah I mean I will say that um I put a lot of time and effort into curating that tuxedo yeah uh shout out to eBay um and I think I I feel as if I was one of the better dressed people at the wedding.

7:02Listen, it's not a competition, but you know. I tied my own damn bow tie. Wow. Yeah. How long did that take you? And how many YouTube videos? I tied it one time before we got there. Okay. And then I got it right down to the wire. I was sweating a little bit. And then I was actually sweating because it was like, you know, low 90s, limited wind. Sat in direct sun for the 30 minute ceremony. I was sweating. Yeah. Nothing worse than being in a full penguin suit and being in the sun. That's tough. It was tough, but I powered through. I left the jacket on until probably like 10 or 11 p.m. Nice. I sweat through the jacket.

7:41Literally, there's like salt stains on the outside of the jacket. I've got to go get it dry cleaned now. My shirt is just disgustingly yellow from, again, sweat. But, you know, I thugged it out. I pushed through and persevered. And, you know, once we got on the dance floor, I popped the shirt off. Yeah. You know. Again. Everything came off except the pants. I can picture this whole thing. You know, again, I don't need to see any photos. I picture this and I know Kevin is having a good time. Why Slovakia? There's a cheap flight from Milan. Just like, let's go there. That's where the family's from.

8:20Okay. Yeah. So you just hit it? Yeah, we just hit it. and it was beautiful. And then Berlin, clubbing? Yeah, clubbing. Not really my scene, but we met up with a friend there. Nice. Yeah, we got after it and had a good time. Do you wear the tux to the club? Would you wear... I mean, it would have been a good move. Yeah, probably. I don't know. I didn't really... I can't picture you clubbing in Berlin. That I have a hard time picturing. Yeah, no, it was a bit foreign to me. Yeah. I think, I don't know. It's not really my scene. I was more... Slovakia was really my vibe. Yeah. Just drinking the best espresso ever.

8:52Eating really good sandwiches, like radio bakery quality sandwiches for like fucking five euro. It was crazy. Wow. Beer was like under three euro. It was like three euro for like a half liter of like craft beer. It was insane. Yeah. I was living like a king. I love this for you. Went to the mountains, saw some small towns. We did it all. International Kev. Yeah. You know, just putting punches in his passport. Damn right. We didn't even get that many. Wow. Yeah. but you looked amazing looked like a hell of a good time and you're going back? Yeah. Wait, you're back to Italy? Yeah, I am going back.

9:29When? Like a couple weeks. It was wild. It was six weeks in between weddings. I didn't think it was six weeks is a long time to be like, you know, remote and Yeah. Oh, you're saying you could have stayed in Milan for the whole summer? I probably would have been somewhere like, you know, deeper than Slovakia in the price range. but I don't know. The six weeks is crazy. Well, I'm glad you're back. Before you head back to Milan. Well, yeah. Well, I'm going back to... It's in the south of Italy. Oh. And I recently learned that. Okay. Well, I'm excited for you. Yeah. And don't worry. I'll be... You'll be potting?

10:09I will be remote. I think you should do at least one. I don't know if we can because I think you'll be in Lithuania. Yeah. So that might be... That would be kind of crazy, though. International. Europon. that's a good idea we'll see if I have room in my luggage for the microphone I'm flying Norse gotta fly budget over there I mean I get it I don't know if we want to bring all the equipment it's just a mic for all Lithuania podcast listeners I'm coming I'm coming for the ACDLT which is a design festival in Lithuania September 9th to the 13th please say hello please you know pod fans yeah y 'all y 'all all better be there we all better be there because i've been saying online that we're the number one design podcast in lithuania and uh now now i'm gonna go see in person i know if that's if that's true but i i believe that part of the reason why i was invited to be uh the president of this design jury and and do a design talk is because of damn you're the president i'm the president dude fucking salute damn uh because of our Lithuanian podcast sort of following.

11:22Yeah. So I hope they don't let you down. I hope they don't let me down. I don't have quite a sort of sort of a murderer's row as you do, but then I'm going to New Hope, Pennsylvania for a wedding. And then I'm going to Denver, Colorado for How Design Live. People should go to How Design Live. It's going to be really good this year. It's really it's an awesome location. And if you don't have your tickets, go to How Design Live. um that is also happening at the end of september uh then i turned 40 years old kevin damn that is gonna happen in 46 days not that i'm counting and then i go to columbus ohio kevin oh yeah i'm going i'm going for another wedding and i was looking at the schedule the browns play the bengals in cleveland i mean it's like it's kind of like a two hour drive and it'd be cool it'd be but I'm not.

12:13You're going to go to Dog Pound? I'm not going to do that. Go to the Muni lot? I would love to, but I'm not going to. There's no chance I'd do that. But I started thinking like you, Kev. I was like, oh, I'm going to be in Ohio. Trip Maxing. Let me check out the schedule for the football season. Listen, if you're not Trip Maxing, you're not doing it right. Well, that's right. And then I'm going to Japan. So lots of travel for me. I haven't been anywhere in a minute. So I haven't been like you gallivanting around Europe. We'll have to figure out some of these pods. I'm also going to Paris. Oh, hell yeah.

12:41That's another thing. So, yeah, Kev, you and I are just traveling around. Yeah, world travelers. We're on the move. But we're back here in New York. We're here to do a pod. And we miss some things. We miss a couple things while we've been out. And I don't think we have time for a full recap of everything. But I would say the big news, Kevin, is that Brat Summer is over. It's time for Demure Fall. I know. I just learned about this. I know. I was MIA, I guess. You were out of the country and not on the internet. and we switched. We switched from one word to another word, Kevin. Why is Brat Summer over?

13:16Because it's getting a little crispy outside. It's a little cold. The weather's dropping and that bright neon in-your-face attitude. We got to settle back. We got to be more mindful. We got to be more shy. We got to be more sort of reserved. And I'm just going to say it. Fuck it. I'm not doing it. I'm staying fucking I don't know, I've been demure You are such a shy guy I'm a pioneer You're a pioneer of demure Here's my one thing on this that I just have to say which is just it's so crazy how quickly a word or a thought or an idea goes from one person's TikTok The person is Jules LeBron Great name J-O-O-L-S LeBron She posted a video about makeup and being demure.

14:10And then within days, it was like everyone was talking about mindfulness and being demure. And then it's only a minute after that where Instagram pages are like, Brat Summer restaurants are Dime Square, da-da-da-da-da. Demure Fall restaurants are sort of cozy Italian bistros. Yeah, where's the demure spots in New York? like uh l 'artuzzi and like um like anywhere that makes fresh pasta essentially and it's like more more quiet more oh wow elevated but i'm already sick of it i'm and like i'm just i don't know it it it's driving me a little crazy how group think we all are yeah it was fast things where we're just like i don't know i saw a national park make a i got fed a real last night about demure summer and it was about uh demure fall sorry demure fall whatever how dare you uh but they were talking about how demure they were in the park and i was like you know good it's gonna be mindful but uh yeah it's crazy how fast that shit gets washed yeah i don't know it's just it just feels like i think it's still brat summer though yeah i mean here's the thing the weather outside i mean you see that skim's do you see him's campaign it's still brat summer yeah i guess you're right we have like brat summer forever we have another that's that's fair but we also have another like 10 days of summer we're kind of like this is fake fall we're heading towards we're gonna get fucked again yeah we're in fake fall right now but it's like 70 degrees that's beautiful but it's the heat's coming yeah it's coming we're not done it's you're right but um yeah i just i don't know don't get fooled out yeah i know i get so easily excited by the uh the crisp oh yeah not sweating like a motherfucker yeah it's it's you know fantasy football drafts on the calendar.

15:55I'm watching the real hard knocks. And you know what it means? You're pretty demure, actually. It means that we're back, baby. Football's back. Denim jackets are back. Oh, yeah. Lightweight jacket season is upon us. It's a good season. If I can get some wings and a fucking pumper, a pumpkin beer. Wings and a pumper. Wings and a pumpkin beer in a fucking denim jacket in an outdoor restaurant with the games on on a Sunday. Pretty sweet. Come on. I'm very excited. There's nothing better. I'm excited, but I'm being demure about it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I get it. I don't want to jump the gun. Yeah. But I see it in the future.

16:40We're not there yet. I agree with you. We're almost there. Pump the brakes, but I smell it in the air. I can see it coming. It's on the horizon. Yeah. And that's very exciting. one of the things that happened also Kevin while we were gone is that Mark Zuckerberg unveiled a new statue of his wife in the Roman tradition by Daniel Arsha pretty cool you know I like how it's steeped in tradition that's it's it's the Roman tradition for me honestly that's it yeah yeah I mean what other you don't really need a reason to make a statue about your wife do you do yeah I mean I guess he wanted I do think if he had done it without that sort of little insight I think he might be roasted a little bit more.

17:21Start asking questions like, what happened? What did you do? Why is that the big gift? Are you trying to make something up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it so compensating for something? What happened? Yeah, yeah. Maybe there was another woman. Bro just loves his wife. Yeah, maybe he just loves his wife. But I agree with you. It goes from kind of corny to like, oh, it's just in the Roman tradition, which I felt for. I think that's, listen, we're just on a podcast, Kevin. You're a lover. Strategy is important. Reasoning. Why? Why am I doing this? And it's not just because he loves his wife. It's because it's the Roman tradition of making sculptures of your wife.

17:55Yeah. Hot seat. All husbands. Oh, not me. No, no. But people in long-term relationships. But yes, I'm on the hot seat, Kevin. You're right. Yeah. Are you going to make a statue of your wife? Man, this is going to be tough. But I will say, I've been on record here about Daniel Orsham. I think he is not my fave. I think I'm mostly just jealous of his house and how rich he is, but I don't know. It's kind of cringy. I just feel like if you have Zuckerberg money, like I feel like you can do a little bit better than Daniel Arsham. I don't know. Like, I don't know. I think it's, I kind of like the statue.

18:35I can't lie. I will say the statue is kind of cool. The, the color is an interesting choice. Tiffany blue, Tiffany blue. I don't really know why. She probably likes Tiffany Blue. Look at her mug. Did you see her mug? Yeah, I'm looking at her mug right now. Also, shout out to the Off Hours coat. Did you see that? Oh, wow. Very fancy. Fancy. We love Off Hours coats. We're big fans of Off Hours. They're in our building. We actually gave them in center gifts a couple of winters back. So shout out to Off Hours. It's a good look for them. I didn't even notice until right now that Priscilla, right? Yeah, Priscilla's wearing an Off Hours coat, which, yeah, I got one of those.

19:12Those things slap. well all you need is a statue now statue of your wife yeah i will say my wife my wife would love a statue um and yeah i i just don't uh i don't know let's just let's make it happen yeah i mean what's holding you back that's a good question probably the space i don't know i will say also his backyard looks very like you know it's an interesting spot like i guess if if i'm a billionaire like his neighbors he's got fucking neighbors like it just looks like it's kind of like his grass doesn't even look that nice. Like it kind of looks kind of like my backyard. He's kind of a common man, I guess.

19:47You know? I mean, but he's, what's his net worth? Like a lot. Yeah. I mean, why has he got like a, he's worth$184 billion, Kevin. Yeah. He's got a regular backyard. Then you go in there and you see a statue of his beautiful wife. But like swag, that dude doesn't have, it doesn't appear that he's got a sort of mega mansion. It looks like he's just got a regular house. He's got like a ranch in Hawaii. I mean, I'm sure he's got plenty of properties. Yeah, but I mean, is this his main house? I don't know. Why don't we ask him? It honestly looks like the suburbs. It looks like Oceanside in New York.

20:24This is what my parents' backyard is. It could be like a... Got a big tree. It could be like a spot in the Bay Area or something, kind of where he came up, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. Speculation. The chrome is kind of sick. Yeah, it's good statute. All right, fine. I'm into the statue. I'd be quite flattered if somebody made me a statue. Arden, if you're listening, Kevin wants a giant chrome statue of himself in his backyard, please. But yeah, the seven-foot-tall sculpture is Tiffany Blue. I don't know why, but sure. Yeah, whatever floats your boat. Yeah, you said this. I'm here for it. Yeah, I love my wife man of the year.

21:05I think so. Okay, well. He loves his wife the most. it didn't work out that well for chance the rapper well divorced sucks and also his career has never been the same since he uh since he went on that tear about loving his wife so uh i think this is good i think this is cool i i have i have to admit it i think this is kind of give it up give it up i think it's kind of badass let's give it up to zuckerberg and like you know i just you know maybe it should have been bigger now twice the size no come on but it's uh tasteful for the backyard. Tasteful. You know what's also tasteful, Kevin? Will Levis, number eight.

21:43Mayonnaise. Perfume. Perfume de mayonnaise. Do you know the Tennessee Titans, Kevin? I do. I'm very familiar. Will Levis. Had like maybe one good game last year. I was going to say, is he a star quarterback? Is he big enough for... Well, he had a sex tape drop this summer, and the word on the street is he is big enough. Wow. I did not know. I did not know about that. I just don't know that he is exuding an aura of greatness. That's what the scent helps you feel and smell ready for game day. Well, I mean, it's also mayonnaise. I know it's a joke. I find this to be... Did you know it was a joke?

22:22I mean, it's very SNL-coded. Hellman's Mayonnaise doing sort of a fake perfume ad featuring Will Levis. Is he a mayonnaise guy? Is that part of his persona? Yeah, I mean, he's a mayonnaise freak. I respect his game. I'm not that big of a mayonnaise freak. I love mayonnaise. I'm more of a Dukes guy. More of a Dukes. And, you know, these days I'm kind of going more into the chosen foods, avocado oil, mayonnaise. I like a premium mayonnaise. And I don't like those shitty seed oils. But anyway, he puts mayonnaise in his coffee. Okay, so that's the reason. He puts mayonnaise in his coffee. The man puts mayonnaise in his coffee.

22:59Yeah, so he went kind of viral for that before the draft. See, I wasn't there for this. He's kind of a freak. He eats bananas with the skin on. Wait, what? He eats bananas with the peel? Yeah, with the peel on. I mean, he's a freak. I think that's crazy. Drinking coffee with mayonnaise as a creamer is like jail time. Have you tried it? Straight to person. Have you tried it? No. Have you had a butter coffee? Lock him up. Have you had a butter coffee? No, I haven't. Well, I mean, don't knock it until you try it. Okay, this makes way more sense to me. I was like, why are they doing a perfume with Will Levis?

23:33Because he's a mayonnaise freak. Okay, he's a mayonnaise freak, so he's getting a partnership with the brand. They're matching his freak. They're matching his freak. Okay, I get it. It's$8 and has notes of tart lemon, mayonnaise accord, parsley, coffee undertones, musk, and creamy vanilla. This probably smells like shit. It's$8. Yeah, cheap, cheap perfume. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, this is a funny thing to make. And the video was good. The video was really good, actually. Yeah, it's very easy. Respect that. Do the sort of like Calvin Klein. Yeah. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I thought it went pretty hard.

24:09Okay. You know what? Nobody should wear this. No one should buy this. No one should wear this. This is a good idea. Yeah. I didn't know the whole coffee viral thing. We talked about it. It's in the dark, dude. No, but I didn't know that ahead of this moment because I don't read the dark. Okay. I get the general gist and then we just fucking rip it. But no, I hear what you're saying. Now I get it. He went viral for putting mayonnaise in his coffee because that's an insane thing to do. Then he gets the Hellman's deal. We should try it. They do the perfume. We should try it. We should try it. We should try mayonnaise coffees.

24:41Speaking of things I want to try, Kevin, Coke and Oreo. They're two of the best things on planet Earth, two of the most iconic brands on the planet. Two besties, apparently, are teaming up to offer fans a unique flavor experience to celebrate the real magic of friendship. Whew. Oof. You going to read some of the quotes? Oh, you got good quotes. Oh, he got some crazy quotes. There are two products. One is a Coca-Cola flavored Oreo, and two is a Oreo flavored zero calorie cola. Which do you think sounds more edible or tasty? I would probably go with the Oreos, but here's my bone to pick with this.

25:24Okay, let's go. Give me the full sugar Coke. Yeah, what are we doing here? It's Oreos. We don't need to be healthy when we're eating Oreos. Just give us the full sugar Coke. We want that full throttle crazy shit that they're pumping in there. Yeah, why is this zero sugar? Why not? Why do we have to have zero sugar? Yeah, I agree. Make that shit the jet fuel that Coca-Cola is because that's great. Coca-Cola, regular Coca-Cola and Oreos, great combination. Coke Zero and Oreos, I'm not here for it. Yeah, no, I hear what you're saying. I think the soda sounds more delicious with a sort of cookie-inspired cola versus an Oreos cookie featuring a Coca-Cola taste.

26:12I don't know. I don't know. I'd ride with the Oreos on this one. You ride with the Oreos? Because you know they're not going to be skimping on the sugar in those Oreos. They're going to be full sugar. Yeah, I like how they have a red side and a black side. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Yeah, this is a good pairing. This is a good brand partnership. I think these are two of my favorite brands on the planet. So I'm happy to see them team up. I'm going to say on the design front, I'm going to give them a B minus. A B minus? Yeah, I don't think this looks great. I think the cola looks better than the Oreos.

26:51That's why you want to drink the cola. I like the Oreo. There's a bottle that's made of Oreos on the front. It's a little too much going on for me on the cam, but at least that's an interesting concept. And then on the packaging for the Oreos, there's the same thing, but made out of real cookies. That's less successful for me. Yeah. So from a design standpoint, kind of low score. From an idea standpoint, I like when iconic brands partner. I like this idea that we're still doing collabs now. We've been on this for almost a decade, it feels like. I don't think there's any end in sight, but I'm here for the partnership.

27:36I get what they're doing. I think the two products make sense. I think design-wise, these could be more iconic looking. I think they look a little kind of... They're trying a little too much, both of them. There's too much going on. We got some good quotes, Kevin. Yeah, we do really have some good quotes here. This first one comes from Ona Vlad, Global VP of Brand Strategy at the Coca-Cola Company. They said, we took careful steps to ensure we delivered the Oreo experience in a Coca-Cola and vice versa. Both products went through several iterations, and we look forward to following the public conversation of what each tastes like.