ZUCK FUCKS

0:00I've seen a lot of phones in my day cracked. I don't know if I've ever seen one quite as cracked as yours. Oh, yeah. Double side crack. That was impressive. It's pretty bad. Yeah. Was that from skiing? You fell on it? No, I just was drunk and thought my pocket was open and dropped it in the parking garage. Dude, you're so sick, man. Yeah, man. The hair and the hat, the vibes you've been throwing down over the past two weeks are spectacular. Thanks. I've just been kind of dressing how I usually dress.

0:37three two one kevin what's up wow cook man a lot of vigor on that cook man yeah i'm a tim cookman shout out to tim cook yeah shout out tim cook got me by the balls yeah yeah i'm getting buying these dongles i'm happy that he has me yeah no i mean it's the best phone on the rather him Everyone knows that. Rather him than Bob Samsung, right? Absolutely. Sure. For those people that are watching at home or see these clips, you know, shot on an iPhone. Yeah, shot on an iPhone. Where's our campaign? We need to be in a commercial. Yeah. Back at it again. Another episode of the pod. Consistency. Hashtag consistency.

1:17Well, I wrote that before we were going to be late. Oh, shit. Now we're late. Yeah. Yeah. Again, you know, we're trying. Consistency. Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to be consistent. I don't know how these other podcasts do multiple episodes a week and the consistency. Well, they dedicate time to it. Yeah. Maybe they don't run sort of multi-million dollar businesses. Yeah. Yeah. On the side. Their podcast is the main. Are we a multi-million dollar business? Yeah, dude. Welcome to the fucking center, man. How do you think we afford all this? We make millions of dollars. Oh, sweet. Yeah. News to me. Yeah.

1:51Yeah, any company that you see that has more than five employees, six employees, that's how they operate. They have to make a lot of money to pay for those things. I didn't go to business school, so I wouldn't know that. Yeah. What's going on with you? I feel like you've been traveling, and you and I both traveled, so now we're both kind of laying low a little bit. Who, me? I'm just hanging out. Yeah, just hanging out. That's true. We're both not watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. Should we talk about that for a second? I forgot. I personally forgot about it. I'll watch it. I'll pick it back up probably later.

2:25But it doesn't really seem like it's having the cultural impact is maybe it deserves. It doesn't feel like the whole world is watching the final season of a show that's been on the air for 20 years. Yeah. I've just been watching Shameless, which is an old-ass show. Nice. Yeah, I'm watching Vanderpump Rules, and we're still in 2014, I think. Damn. Yeah. We'd rather watch old drama than new curbs. Sorry, Larry. I don't know what it is. I think maybe it's lost its fastball, or do you think it's just, you know, it's the same show we've been watching for 20 years and we get it? It's probably both. Yeah.

3:00I think the construct of the show doesn't change, much like Seinfeld. It's a show about nothing. I don't want to spoil anything, but I do believe there is going to be some sort of parallel connection between how Seinfeld famously ended and how Curb ends. That's kind of a prediction, but I think they were sort of alluding to it in the first episode because famously people were mad about Seinfeld's ending. Yeah. Good. So I think Larry, in a very Larry way, is going to do it again or sort of – Well, I guess we should catch up so we can talk about it. Oh, yeah. Kevin, on your desk, there's a book that is called Awareness.

3:45Do you want to talk about it? Yeah, I'm trying to wake up. yeah your spiritual journey yeah dude i'm just trying to wake up fuck yeah man yeah yeah i recommend it it's a sick book yeah fuck it yeah reading yeah reading sweet hell yeah man are you like lebron where every time i see the book it's gonna be on the same like fourth page damn right hell yeah i'm on like 35 yeah i'm burning through it wow i love it good for you man reading is fundamental yeah i'm just trying to you know get my awareness up i love it kevin trying to you know let things wash over me. Kevin, for maybe new listeners, is a deep spiritual person.

4:22It's just a deep person. Thinks a lot. More than the average bear. Yeah. Which is one of the reasons why it makes him very talented. Yeah, I guess so. That's what they say. He's seeing things from different angles. He sees, you know, he's got his third eye open. He's got his back, back. He's got eyes in the back. He's got eyes all over. Yeah. It's like six eyes. It's crazy. you know so yeah it's all happening kevin what's what was the wonka glasgow story what you know with your third eye open is this a promo for the movie no bro just a con artist just a con artist i can't remember the guy's name maybe like bill cole or something okay it's like some swedish guy is that where glasgow is sweden i don't know again i went to school for graphic design i wouldn't say it was like a real uh college experience and yeah yeah learning department i learned how to do uh colors and shit that everyone probably learned it's in scott who's listening to this program yeah yeah yeah glasgow it's in scotland yeah oh sweet yeah i used to pride myself on geography i guess i'm just getting fucking dumber i'm not the one to to point any fingers here i know where nothing is on a map yeah i don't know my brain's getting fried i'm getting dumber so that's why i gotta wear read awareness so i can wake the fuck up it's a great story though i think it's a wonderful sort of uh conundrum that we may find ourselves in the future where ai makes things so easily accessible to make yeah that you could just make a willy wonka experience in ai get people to pay 50 bucks for a ticket and then bring them to a warehouse with like one cracked out ooba looba yeah but that shit's not even that hard to make honestly like I don't really think they could have achieved.

6:06The goal? The original goal? Maybe not the original goal, but people do experiences all the time. People make impressive looking experiences literally every day. People make experiences all the time. I don't know. I don't think it's that hard. I was talking to my friend who literally puts that shit on. He does experiential shit. He said, quote, it wouldn't have even been that hard to execute that with a proper budget. budget yeah the money part is the problem i mean like the museum of ice cream or any one of these like museum of weed and you go to them those are those are pretty expensive uh sort of experiences so i don't doubt that it would be possible they need to make the goddamn chocolate factory they do i mean i saw wonka in theaters i don't know if you've uh seen it yeah you would but uh yeah man those uh the wonka store number one fan the wonka store um was quite magical so if they could recreate that, you know, just like it was in the movie, it would have been pretty special with the fountains of chocolate.

7:07Kevin, speaking of movies, I started Oppenheimer. Have you seen it? No. No. I'm not smart enough to watch that movie. I mean, it's - I heard it's three hours. That's crazy. It's three hours and everyone's saying it's the best movie of the year. Breaking news. And so Oscar season, I don't know when the Oscars are, but I was like, okay, maybe I should see Oppenheimer. They're Sunday. They're this week? Yeah. Look at us. Timely. Well, I got invited to a party and I said, hell no. Invited to an Oscar party? Yeah. Fuck yeah, man. You're not going to go? A watch party. A watch party. Okay. No, hell no.

7:42I'm not going to fucking watch. Yeah. I'm not going to watch that shit. You don't watch War Chose. Yeah. Maybe I'll read what one and maybe watch one of the movies. There you go. And I'm the opposite. I'm going to watch the entire thing. So I actually, now I know I only have a week. So this Oppenheimer thing - Last than a week. Poof. I only made it 35 minutes. I know. I got five more sessions to try to finish this thing. Remember Quibi? Of course, yeah. You need that. I do. Quibi was for me. Yeah. Quick Bites. Quibi was for you. Quick Bites. It's a goddamn shame. Yeah. May God have mercy on its soul.

8:13Rest in peace. On threads, I almost posted every Quibi logo we did in under a minute. You know, just kind of like a fast thing. And I didn't do it because I chickened out. What was that guy's name? Mr. Quibi? No. That Disney exec. Oh, God. Yeah. Quibi. We'd always make fun of him. We never make fun of him. What do you mean? No, just kidding. We never would do that. Jeffrey Katzenberg. Jeffrey Katzenberg. If you're listening, we'd still love to work with you again, and we love Quibi. It's a real shame. Quibi had legs. It had a lot of legs. It was just COVID, you know, because Quibi was for the in-between moments of life, you know, on your way to the office or on your way back from the office or on a flight or waiting for a flight to take off or at the gym.

8:56And right when Quibi launched, all that shut down because of COVID. Sad. Could have been. Could have been. Another. Quick bites. Another thing we lost. Yeah, yeah. Damn. God damn it, COVID. You know? Fucking taking everything from us. Fucking Dr. Fauci. I know, dude. You're the person who would be on Quibi. For real, for real. Dude, I'm not. You'd be a Quibi head. Dude, one of my favorite things online is Hivemind. Have you ever seen that? Hivemind on TikTok. Check it out. I do not know what that is. It's literally two guys, like you and I, sitting at a desk, and they're like, name the top 10 rappers with Lil in the name, according to Ranker.

9:31And that's all they do. They say Lil Huddy or Lil Jon. They're just doing BuzzFeed? They're just doing BuzzFeed lits, but they just guess what the lists are. Okay. I mean, people love lists. That's what I'm saying. I think you and I can make that content, and it would be just as entertaining. So, sorry I have mine. We're coming next. We just need a brainchild. I don't really like lists. All right. So, I'm going to have to find someone else. my back is better thank you to everyone who called in listeners and DM me with recommendations for treatments and stretches it's been about a six week journey and I'm feeling finally ready to get your ass in a yoga studio ready to fucking fight you know back in the ring fucking Jake Paul start doing some yoga get that core tight that's what I gotta do I know I'm working or Kanye's workout plan either either would suffice one of the best rap videos of all time great great um i listen to vultures again so i think i'm i'm back on kanye um thank you though seriously that's really wonderful of all you guys out there um spring is sprung kind of no it hasn't it hasn't winter's coming back this weekend okay shit yeah yeah that's what happened for me at least are you going skiing up north yeah shreddy yeah kevin shredding of course any time any free time i have yeah it's gonna be there it's gonna i I respect it.

10:51Kevin, should we get into the stories of the day of the week? Sure. Anything else? I don't have anything else. Yeah. I got nothing else. You know, we got to talk about the biggest rebrand. You know, we used to talk about rebrands a lot, but, you know, we don't as much anymore. But let's talk about the big one, the Clippers. Yeah, we mentioned it last week, and I feel like it just kind of dropped last week. It happened right before we recorded, right? It was like the morning of. So I guess we should talk about a little bit more in details, which is the Clippers are now the Clippers. Yeah. Who knew a Clipper was a boat?

11:22Exactly. What I was going to say is the Clippers' undescribed basketball team is now Clippers' a boating basketball team. Yeah. Who the fuck knew that a Clipper was a big-ass boat? This comes straight from the desk of Steve Ballmer. You know that guy was probably heavily involved in this shit. Of course. Bro loves boats. He loves boats. Okay. I'm putting the pieces together. This is Kevin seeing it from all angles. Yeah, he definitely has a yacht. So the the story is that the Los Angeles Clippers famous basketball team are rebranding probably for the second time in the last decade. I don't remember exactly when they 2015 2015.

12:02So yes, correct their stats on it. And they did a pretty good job there. They don't know who the agency that did it, but there are rumors that it was done by Doubleday and Cartwright, who famously did the Milwaukee Bucks branding really, really well. Why can't we figure this out, huh? Why has nobody stepped up to the plate and claimed this? Yeah, maybe because they wanted to see how the internet was going to respond. And, you know, because people get mad. You know, it's probably Emily from TikTok. That's probably true. Yeah, there are a lot of hidden gems in this logo. I know. the more lines that you have explaining what your logo means probably the worse it is I think that's probably a good assumption if you have to explain every single little detail like the three lines are for the three championships and you know the C is for the clipper and this is for the basketball did you notice that the arrow is pointing north no for progress it's pointing to the N in Los Angeles because the clippers are such an innovative franchise.

13:06Or north. They're always moving forward. They're always moving forward. That is tricky. They just want people to ooh and ah and say, wow, that's smart. You guys are so good at design. That's crazy that you were able to fit all six of those hidden meanings in there. That's wild. I love how the arrow in the nautical clock does point north to north, but the bottom one does not point to south. They couldn't figure out how to do that. You know what other logo has an arrow? what fat x and you bring up that's the best logo of all time i didn't notice the basketball in the bottom of the ship but now that i now that i'm looking at the diagnosis here uh wow they really layered that shit on it's crazy they did really do that to them yeah i mean obviously no offense to whoever designed this i feel like um yeah i think it's probably a in my uh in my diagnosis of the problem here it seems to be more of a uh maybe a client issue um maybe trying to ask for a bunch of shit packed in um okay this comes straight from steve ballmer i know his i know his uh exorbitant ass is behind this shit yeah that guy does not like subtlety that's not his brand but they have a new stadium and that doesn't look subtle at all is it a boat it should just be a giant boat have you ever seen the thing on ai where they're like stadiums if they were more like custom to the brands that they work that they're like that's pretty fucking sick i think there was some pretty cool ones yeah it's cool ideas yeah like the buck stadium is a giant ship or like...

14:33They're just taking fucking sports graphic designer Instagram guys' jobs away with this bullshit. Well, no, they're taking architects' jobs to do these giant-ass stadiums. But it's true, the giant stadiums are all just the same shape. Why couldn't they have more, you know, sort of be more prescriptive? They need to be on a boat. Yeah, this should be a giant boat. Yeah, they just keep focusing on making these giant screens. Who needs a fucking giant screen? You're at the game. Watch the fucking game on the court. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't understand. And LA is not a nautical city. That is probably...

15:04It's the least nautical city. I mean, it's by the water, I guess, but like... Yeah, it's not a boat in the city. I guess. It's a concrete jungle. There's no... And they don't even have water there. They're running out of water. So tell me how a boat makes sense. And I get that like, you know, I guess they were born in San Diego, which is a nautical city. But they're not in San Diego anymore. And like, maybe like one... Their name is the Clippers. Yes. That's enough of a boat reference. Please make it stop. Yeah. Please make all this nautical shit stop. Remove the nautical flags from the side of the jerseys.

15:35Those are so stupid. Like, just keep them simple. Like, I don't know. It's just too much. Yeah. Everyone just tries to cram all this, like, conceptual thinking into just these little minute moments. And it's too much. Okay. Kevin, agree to disagree, which is why we have the show. Listen, I'm not, like, completely in disagreement here. I think this is a nice job. I think there are parts of it that do feel like they are too much. I agree with you. You know, the giant clipper logo boat, you know, sort of piece is the part that I think is getting criticized the most. And I think the big reason why is people are like, oh, a clipper was a boat all this time.

16:16We had no idea. And then the fact is the boat looks less like a clipper, which I had to Google what the fuck that is. And it looks more like a yacht from the front. It's a carnival cruise ship. The cruise ship. So that is the criticism. I want to park that for a second in the boating. You're going to dock it? I'm going to dock it for a second. Thank you. Drop your anchor? Drop the anchor and talk about some of the positive stuff, which is the typography and the jerseys. Oh, for sure. I think those things are really nice. I think the previous logo was truly bad. So I think that to me, every time I saw it during a broadcast or anywhere over the last 10 years, I was like, that looks cheap and amateur and does not look polished.

16:59The LA inside of the sea with the black, that was never working. And I think that came out right when he bought the team. He was like, okay, I'm coming in and I'm changing the logos. And I understood why they wanted to do that because the old logo looks exactly like the Lakers logo. It's like the Lakers and Clippers have the same logo structure. I did never realize that until recently. And so I understood the reason to give Clippers – the Clippers are always in the shadow of the Lakers. So they have the same stadium, and now they're moving away. But it's like they're always kind of in that – Their names are both about water.

17:34Oof, you bring up another good point. So I do think they're trying to carve their own identity. So the one in 2015, bad job, not good, very poorly done. Looks like an internet sort of mock-up, to be honest to me. The newest one at least looks like a professional franchise crafted the typography, the jerseys, the colors, the details, while maybe you could argue there are too many of them. At least those things feel modern and beautiful. And I think they got a lot of things right, specifically the jerseys. The jerseys look awesome. I'm going to let you finish, but I agree with you entirely about the jerseys.

18:11I think the script is beautiful. And I think the simplicity, like when they had that LAC locked up on those jerseys, like that was a nightmare. That looked like trash. But going back to the script is great. I'm just saying, get the nautical flags off. Yeah, they do have a little bit of nautical flags on the side. I think it's tasteful, but I agree with you. It just doesn't make a lot of sense. But I guess if you have known that the Clippers were always a nautical thing, and therefore that's what the brand is named after, then I guess I can get behind it. I think I just never thought of that. I think the collective internet was like, whoa, a boat?

18:48What did we think? Are we like toenail clippers? It's just like a basketball or just a name of a team that you don't really think about that much. You don't think of Knickerbockers and the Knicks or like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Do you think about the Lakers being lakes? I don't know. Well, there are people who go from lake to lake. There's a lot of names out there that you don't associate with. Yeah, 100%. No, they transcend their original meanings. Thank you, Kevin. I appreciate you coming with me on this. And so, yeah, the Bucks, I always say the Bucks and the Jazz are my two favorite branded franchises.

19:22Because those are the ones done in the most recent years, and they've been done really well. The Jazz is another funny story because Utah has no jazz, but they came from New Orleans. And so the name means nothing. And the design, it has a music note, which is just confusing all around. But I do. You ever see those mountains? That's jazz for the eyes. Fuck, man. And the soul. Kevin, you're really nailing it today. You're just, you got it, man. I think it's that book, the book. Yeah, I'm waking up. Yeah, you're woken up and you got ideas and you got thoughts and I'm loving it. So yeah, I think this is a good job.

19:57I think this is, the internet will always critique branding done for professional sports franchises. It's just part of air, the smell of Subway sandwiches, breathing. These things are just consistent. There's no way a brand is going to come out and everyone's going to be like, great job. Kudos to you. Awesome. Awesome work here. So they have to have something to complain about. And I guess the nautical and boat sea thing is the one to critique. I mean, it's just a little too naughty. I think everything else is great. I wish they had just rocked the script clippers. It's just not a naughty city.

20:43They should have done a partnership with a little boat. They should have. And they should have brought in Nautica. They should have really – Montauk Brewing. Yeah, for sure. Just keep this nautical trend going. Yeah. I don't know. It's just – LA is a naughty city, but not for being nautical. Let's move on there. Speaking of naughty, Wendy's is in the news. You like Wendy's, Kevin? I hate Wendy's. I know you like Wendy's, though. I love Wendy's. Wendy's is talking, is in the news for kind of the wrong reasons, which is, Kevin, I don't know if you know this, but we're going through a little bit of a situation here in Joe Biden's America.

21:26And prices are going up. And so Wendy's had a sort of top, probably some high-paid people, some consultants come in and say, hey, we need to start doing something called dynamic pricing. And they are going to roll out digital menu boards so that every day we can just a little tinker with the price of that sort of Frosty or that Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. Yeah. If you mad about this, you're officially broke. Get your money up. Get your money up or stop going to Wendy's. I mean, listen, yeah. It's an interesting place to get upset because, yeah, I think this is happening. Have you been to every other restaurant and bar in America?

22:13Like, fuck, man. Cocktail costs you$800. You have to fucking take out a loan to get a gin and tonic around here. Yeah. It's tough out here. Get your money up. You sound so broke right now, bro. I went to Radio Star. Shout out to our new establishment down the block from the studio, man. And they got some beautiful cocktail. They got mixologists back there mixing up stuff. And for$17, you get a couple sips. That briny martini is awesome. Exactly. It's good stuff. But I get it. It's tough, man. Back in my day, you can get a cocktail for$10,$11. bucks. Now it's a$17 affair. Go for three drinks. Future's now old, man.

22:5560, 75 bucks. That's why we've got to give up the alcohol, get on the Zaza. That's what, again, 2024, we're getting sober here. Health is wealth. Damn right. Open up that third eye, get aware. Well, they did listen to the people complaining and clowning them for it because they've since backed down and they've since started selling hamburgers for$1. Really? I guess that Back in my day, you could get a double down for$1 there, and they were pretty fire. Yeah. I guess that's the whole point of dynamic pricing, right? You've got these digital menus. Didn't they already have digital menu boards? Is that a great innovation?

23:30I feel like every fast food place has a digital menu board in 2024. Well, yeah. They were going to do AI. Remember the AI story last year where they were going to roll it out? Yeah. They were going to roll it out in the drive-thru. Stop pocket-watching Wendy, huh? Yeah. Wendy needs a bag. Let Wendy cook. Dave? Dave? Yeah, shout out to Dave. You know, Ohio's finest. Yeah. He needs the bag, dude. I mean, this is happening everywhere. And I think there was actually some stuff on Twitter I saw that was like five guys in a lot of fast food restaurants. It costs different prices in different locations.

24:04So if you go to a five guys here in Brooklyn or you go to a five guys in Cincinnati, they're not the same price with the same products. Dynamic pricing, I guess, you know? Yeah. You know, step your money up if you're going to live in a major metropolitan city. But I guess that's just how it goes, man. It's like the Christmas tree guy I was complaining about during Christmas, you know. In Greenpoint, he's selling fucking$700 trees. You go to other parts of New York, you can get a much better deal. I know. You go upstate, you get it for$12. That's true. So welcome to capitalism. Should we start importing Christmas trees?

24:34Absolutely. That's what Canadians do. They come to New York and they set up these giant things on the side of the streets and they sell these, yeah. It's the Canadian dream. Yeah, it really is. But we have a quote from Wendy's spokesperson confirmed that they are focused on providing great tasting food and is making a significant investment to grow its digital business. Beginning as early as 2025, we begin testing a variety of enhanced features on these digital menu boards like dynamic pricing, different offerings in certain parts of the day, AI enabled menu changes. That's the thing we're talking about with Google.

25:05Remember? Yeah, I forgot about that. Where what's I guess that's part of this and suggestive selling based on factors such as weather. everyone's doing too much everyone's fucking everyone's trying to do way too much these days just sell fucking burgers like that's it that's all people want you for it's they want to roll up and get a fucking burger they want to get a shitty burger shoving their fucking fat face just let them do it in peace let them do it the same price just stop innovating this is bullshit we don't need we don't need wendy's to innovate yeah i mean they're using technology against us they're basically saying well if it's cold outside we're going to make the chili more expensive it's like, fuck you, Wendy's.

25:40That's bullshit. This is Uber. Uber does this shit too. They fucking charge congestion fees in New York. You're driving in New York City, my man. Everywhere has a congestion. What do you mean? You can charge, that's a bullshit fee, congestion fee. Wasn't that like a New York City thing now? Yeah. Traffic in New York City, of course. So just tack on anything that you feel like is, and I'm not saying it's the drivers. It's certainly not them. It's the company. It's Like, you could just charge any amount of money for a congestion fee. That makes no sense. None. You're going to charge me$5,$10,$3,$20?

26:15Get your money up, Alex. Who am I to say? Yeah. I mean, but the thing is, it's like I speak for all of the people, you know? I'm a man of the people. Man of the people. And listen, if I want to take an Uber from one part of the city to another part of the city, it's like it shouldn't be$30 because there was traffic. Sorry. And if I go to Wendy's, I shouldn't get charged more for a soda on a hot day or more for chili on a cold day. This is taking advantage of the people. Yeah. Also, the sad thing is with Uber is you get surge priced and then none of that even goes to driver. That's what I'm saying.

26:50It just goes all to the corporation. To Mr. Uber. Well. Yeah. I just can't wait for AI to fast track the money going upwards. Yeah. It's going to be sweet. Come on, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Did you watch that Uber show? No. He played the Uber guy. Great show. I don't know what the name of it was, but it was really solid. Joseph Gordon-Levitt Uber show. It was a bad name. Super pumped. Oh, man, was that a bad name? Watch the show, though. It was pretty good. Yeah, so another quote. Businesses are able to change prices based on algorithms. Don't blame algorithms that take into account competitor pricing, supply, demand, other external factors in the market.

27:30I don't like this. I do like that Burger King came out and was like, we're going to use this story as a means to provide cheaper burgers and sort of give a Whopper discount,$3 for a Whopper. So listen, man, the fast food wars, they're always happening. They're never stopping. Oh, also shout out to Turner Duckworth. They were the ones that made the Cosmix brand. Remember we talked about it a lot? Oh, yeah, I saw that. And we were saying how cool. I thought it was super cool, and I liked that McDonald's is continuing to get weird. McDonald's had a great year doing awesome marketing, great design, a lot of influencer shit, really dope sort of innovation, design, creativity coming out of there.