Colman Domingo

24:46Yeah. She always said, you're so smart and you're so handsome. That kind of early conditioning, it makes, I mean, I'm saying the obvious, but it's like a, it's like actually a privilege. I'm learning more and more. It's a privilege to have had a parent or parents that said that to you. Yeah. Because it's. Would your parents like that as well? Absolutely. Where they would be like, you can do that whisper of you can do what you want to do. You're smart. You're capable. You're useful. You're, you're, you, you, um, you, you, you, uh. You have purpose. You have. Yes, exactly. There's a reason why you're here.

25:23All that stuff. Like when it's said out loud, it changes the course of your life. I think it does. I think I've, I've given, I've been given so many beautiful moments by people throughout my life who told me something that I didn't, maybe I didn't see it myself. Even how I became an actor, one of my early college teachers. I took an acting class just as an elective too. Again, my mother said, take a class for fun. Take something to get you outside of yourself. And so we thought about an acting class. And I took this class and then this teacher, Chris Wolf, he said to me, first time I ever heard this from anyone, truly.

25:54He said, have you ever thought about acting as a profession? I was like, I don't even know what that is. I'm a kid in West Philly. What were your parents' jobs? My mom worked at a bank. For a long time, she cleaned houses and then she kept going back to school. Eventually, she worked in customer service at like First Pennsylvania Bank. My dad sanded hardwood floors. He was my stepfather and he was just a blue collar worker. I would work with him on the summers and make some extra money. So they were very much like just like just good working class folks. And they wanted you to go to college and do better than them.

26:26So they were just like really trying to prepare you for things. But I'd never heard until I got to college that someone said, I would be curious if you followed this path as an actor. He said, because I think you have a gift. And I realized that I'd never heard someone tell me I had a gift at something. Right. And so suddenly I was like, gift? And he said, and then he said this, it was like a challenge. He said, I'd be very curious if you followed that path. That was like mic drop. I mean, because we, I mean, I don't, I want to get into this, this early, but Coleman and I are both Enneagram eights.

26:59Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And we love a challenge. We got that from Tina Fey was like, what's your. Tina made Coleman take the test on the set of the four seasons. He got an eight. I was thrilled. And please explain that again. What the eight means again. Oh God, my audience is going to be like, but we're the challenger. I guess the point is he challenged you. I'd be so curious what you do with that gift. And that is a motivating factor for us is like a little bit of a challenge is exciting for us. Yes. Sometimes it's like our way through. Like we like a little challenge.

27:34I mean, we're so easy. Everyone, everybody has their ways that like we think we're not manipulated, but we respond well to when someone says, I bet you can't do that. We're like, I bet I can't do that. Yes, it's true. It's true. I'm the same way when someone's like, maybe, maybe that's not for you. I'm like, no, it's a hundred percent for me for the rest of my life. Oh my God. Where are you from? From Boston. I'm right. I'm right around the park. It's right around the park from Philadelphia. Exactly. Exactly. But see, it's a city of underdogs as well. Like Tina and I, we always talk about that.

28:03We're like, there's something that Philly and it's like, yeah. Philly makes Boston look like London, England. Tina and I always talk about it. It's true. It's true. Philly is wild. It is wild. I mean, look at our mascots. I mean, Philly's fanatic. I mean, that's insane. I still don't even know what that is. It's an insane person. We have the Mummers parade. The Mummers is like just drunk Irish people on New Year's Day. The only time I've ever been called a C-word to my face is at the Philadelphia airport. Wait, what? When Tina and I were touring and we wouldn't give a guy one of the weird, like, you know, autograph people there when they follow you around the airport and it gets really stressful.

28:51And we were like, oh, you're stressing us out a little bit. and then he flung the seaboard and Tina turned to me and she goes, welcome to Philly. And I was like, yes! It was like a badge of honor though. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah, exactly. They like me here. But I want to say, but you getting out of Philly, you go to San Francisco, but I just want to say with one thing that I love, Coleman, about you is like also, there's like these, there's a shy kid trying to find his way, mom who told him he was special and the Christmas lights were for him. And you go from Philly to San Fran. Why San Fran? Why do you move there?

29:27Because I had a couple college buddies. It always happens. This is usually the story. I have a couple of college buddies, actually three of them that were living in a studio apartment in the Tenderloin District. They were like, San Francisco is amazing. I was struggling in school. I was working two jobs and trying to matriculate. And I was like, my mom was like, you know, you can take a semester off and you can always go back to school. And so I have these friends of mine that moved out to San Francisco. They're like, come out. I was like, great. Like, literally come out. Because I was also, that's another sidebar.

29:56I just made my own joke. I was going to come out when I was in San Francisco. You were like, come out and also. Just come out everywhere. Sure. I mean, great. So then I moved to San Francisco. And it was four guys living in a studio apartment in the Tenderloin District. And if anyone out there doesn't know the Tenderloin District. Yeah, tell everybody about that. You know, ladies of the night. And, you know. Yeah, it was a really wild and exciting time. Especially in the 90s. Very exciting. The 90s. That's when it was like crisp. Yeah. What was your rent? Do you remember how much your rent was?

30:24Oh, I do remember. It was for that studio was 625. Split four ways. Split four ways. And we're just like there. And I literally slept. This is also a terrible joke, but I literally slept in a closet. And every morning you'd come out of the closet. Because we had a walk-in closet. And so I was the fourth guy moving in there. And I literally slept in a walk-in closet. And you're too tall. I mean, for people that don't know or can't or haven't been next, had the pleasure of being next to you, you're 6 '2". 6 '2". That's right. Tall drink of water. Because all these teeny tiny actors, there's a lot of actors.

31:01There's a lot of little actors. Yeah, there are. And, you know, I kind of get it because like, you know, it's... It's good for camera. I love being in a scene with the 6 '2", gentlemen. It's kind of hot, right? Also, it's just a great view. Like, it's a great angle. Like, when we turn around, the camera's going to be up here. Okay, so you go to San Fran. You're there. You're working as a bartender. You're writing plays. Do you remember the first play that you wrote? What was it about? The first play I wrote was called Up, Jumped, Springtime. And that is the title of a Stan Getz and Abbey Lincoln song.

31:34And it goes, I was out promenading and high hopes were fading that dreams ever really come true. Then up jumped springtime. I got to look at you. And it was a play that I wrote. I adapted a bit of a novel and I sort of embedded my work in there as well. It really was about coming of age as a young queer man. And I had three actors. We played all the roles. We played men, women, lovers, mothers, fathers, sisters, whatever. But it was really about the experience that nobody was writing about at the time. It must have felt so good to be a successful playwright while you were also auditioning and being an actor.

32:15I think so. But to be honest, I didn't consider myself a, I considered myself a writer at that time. And then I grew into becoming a playwright. What year was this that you're writing? What year? I started writing about 1997. The last play, I've written plays and musicals. I've written the Donna Summer musical. Oh, I want to talk about that. I wrote a musical. You wrote the book for the Donna Summer musical. Yeah, I know, right? I mean, again, in that high school world of like the dances we were at or we weren't at, Donna Summer, her music was so important to our generation and to every generation.

32:50But I feel like Donna Summer doesn't quite get spoken about enough. She doesn't. And she was one of the greatest singers I think that has ever walked this planet. I agree. Because also her voice, she could do anything with her voice. Yeah. She could sing opera. She could sing country. She could sing, you know, disco. I think that her voice, I mean, she even famously talked about her voice, which is like, no, I make music. And you just never know where I'm going to be angled in that way. And then before we move on to you, like the career stuff, I just want to pause to talk about, because is it around this time that you meet your husband?

33:19Oh, no. I met my husband 21 years ago. So in 2005. Okay. So not in San, you met him in. No, funny. It's a weird thing because I lived in San Francisco for 10 years, moved to New York. I go back to San Francisco to do a show at Berkeley Rep. I go to Berkeley, California. I'm crossing paths, going into a Walgreens with the most beautiful person I think I've ever seen. Not even just beautiful aesthetically, but like just energetically. We never speak. Three days later, I'm trying to buy a used computer on Craigslist. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And I thought about posting one of the Craigslist misconnections ads.

33:59Oh, it's so analog. It's so analog, right? I used to read them like crazy. Yeah. And I get to the second page and third one down. I remember exactly the placement. And it said, saw you outside of Walgreens Berkeley. He placed it just an hour before I looked. So we were looking for each other. And then we met. And I'm so uncool. We met three days later, had our first date. And I literally was like, I think I love you. You're going to change my life. That's how uncool I am, though. But that's so good. It's so direct. Also, everyone that took a look at Raul, like everyone would be like, I love you.

34:34Maybe you got that a lot. Like, I love you. I get it. You got to lock that down really fast.

34:42Yeah. But that's you. Like you're, I mean, what I'm learning about you, you're in the moment. And also you're one of the many, many things that I love about getting to know you is you. There's not a lot of like, like people know how you feel. Yeah. There's no question. That's a, but that's a love language. Like, I'm going to just tell you how I feel now. I'm going to take that risk. I'm like, that's, that's what vulnerability is. It's like, I'm just going to tell you right now. I love you. Like, that's amazing. And like no games at all. And I'm always telling people too, like, don't play any games.

35:12Me too. Just be straight up with people. Just be straight. If you don't like it, you don't like me or whatever, just tell me. Then move, then that, that, that takes time away from, you know, just move away. Get out the way then. Yes. Because the people who will receive that, they're going to be right there with me. And so you guys have been together 22 years, 21 years. 21, 22 years, yeah. You know, here at Good Hang, we only allow a few spouses to come because, you know, you don't want to have everybody's wife and husband around. That's true. And we've had the most amazing group of people. We've had Raul's here today.

35:43Yeah, he is. He's in the green room. Hi, Raul. Hey, Raul. Hey, hi. I love you. Raul's here today. We had Carol Burnett bring her husband, Brian, and we've had Viola Davis's husband, Julius. Oh, that's great. And that's it. That's it. That's it for the good hang. That's it. That's it. No more spouses. No. Raul's like a cat. He's sort of like, you know. Yeah. You barely even know he's here. Well, and the cheekbones. What? On both of you. We bought them for the cheekbones. I mean, both of you guys are like cheekbone city. You guys could open up a cheekbone shop. That's our next adventure. It is too.

36:17And it's funny because sometimes when we're with other people, they can't even tell that we're, it's, I guess it's a compliment. They can't tell that we've been together for so long. Yes, that is a compliment. They can't tell because we're still like very in love with each other. Yes. And we have fun and we're touchy feely. Yes. But also then, even when we're in groups of people, they're like, oh my God, how do you guys know each other? They're like, oh my God, that's my bro. But that's also my husband. Yes. He's like a lot of fun. Yeah. And I wish you two could have children together. I know.

36:46But just the two of you. We'll wait for the science to happen. Many things can happen. Because just the face is alone. You just want those cheekbones on a baby. Just the cheekbones on that baby. Maybe we'll have four cheekbones.

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39:21When I've been looking at your career, which you've done so many things, so many different parts all over the spectrum, like Coleman, you just, you play really intense, like kind of joyous love bomb characters. You play deeply complicated and oftentimes scary and terrifying characters. You can do it all. You have done so many different parts. But what I love is your path is, is the one that I recognize because we're the same age of like what all actors kind of did to start because you didn't have an in, you were just like, how do I get started? Making the work. And so you do, you're like learning on the job.

40:01And I mean, you're even in law and order, which you're not an actor if you're in law and order. Exactly. Exactly. What, what you were on, what did you play? Do you remember your character? I was on like three or four law and orders. I was Different characters? Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. Remember the Law and Order Criminal Intent? Of course. And I played a schizophrenic heroin addict. Okay. I played an attorney. Perfect. I played an attorney on one of them with Dennis Bucateras. You went from the schizophrenic heroin addict to an attorney? Yeah, exactly. That's acting. Now that's acting. I also was a bartender at a leather, at a gay leather bar.

40:37Great. Exactly. Like unpacking the various ball gags as you were telling them about. Exactly. Because, you know, what I love about Law & Order is that they're so busy. They're so busy when the cops are talking to them. So busy. They're just like, New Yorkers didn't have time for anybody. They're like, I'm sorry, I got to pack these bags while you're talking to me, officer. What? I got to get the fruit off this truck. Yes, exactly. I don't have time for that, dead girl. It kills me. It's incredible. I love watching in particular for that. I'm like, the walk and talk. We're too busy for these officers to talk to us.

41:03I love it. Totally. So I was a very busy bartender. Yes, exactly. And it was exciting to get those parts at the time. That was a big gig. Because if you didn't get Law & Order, you felt like you were garbage. You were like - I know. I never got Law & Order. No. And it is my dream. If I could go back in the time machine, if I could back to the future of my life, the one thing I would do differently. And maybe it would change my whole - Book a Law & Order. I would book a Law & Order.

41:29I would. That was my goal. But listen, when I lived in San Francisco, the gig was to get booked on Nash Bridges. Oh. That was - Yeah, I played - With Don Johnson. Every dumb criminal on that show. I played one of them. Exactly. And yes, and I literally, wait, there's one episode and people can watch it. It's my favorite episode of me. I kidnapped Don Johnson's daughter and then he found me. And I happened to be wearing a Coogee sweater while I was working out. Okay, sure. I was wearing, you know that Bill Cosby Coogee sweater? I was wearing a Coogee sweater like while I was working out. And he busts through the door and I'm like, oh!

42:01And I throw the weights off and I'm running. Then he kicks me in the ass through the window. Then he picks me up and he slaps me around. He's like, where is she? Where is she? I'm like, ah, ah, ah. It's my favorite episode. It's so crazy and rabid. And you're like, what is happening? You're wearing a coogee sweater while I'm working out. I'm bench pressing. I was like, but also I was a young actor, so I didn't question it. I'm like, they want no more than I do. Yeah, that's what we're wearing. And at the time, I didn't work out. So I don't know. I thought people worked out in coogee sweaters. Acting is so embarrassing.

42:32I love it so much. It was the 90s. I love it. Okay, then you go to New York. You're doing a million plays on Broadway and the West End. And I do have some important theater questions because I have such respect for people who do that grind. It is such a grind. It is the hardest job. I mean, to have the hardest part of your day be at the end of your day, to have to show up every day and do the same thing. And you're not getting paid a lot of money when you're doing theater. And you are, you know, you're like being asked to do a lot. But I'm always curious about a couple of things. I'm like, oh, Coleman will tell me the truth.

43:04Okay. Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on stage? Okay. No, I haven't. Because these are some of my stage fears, like my anxieties. What do you do if you have to, in the middle of the scene, go to the bathroom? You just hold it. You hold it. You hold it. Although I did, there was a situation. Where your character went to the bathroom. You said, you know what, listen, I like, I make sure before I go out, it's a practice. Yeah. You have to go, you have to make that happen. Yes. Whatever. Number one, number two has got to happen right before you go on stage. You've got to have an egg over easy. You got to make it happen.

43:39You're going to make it happen. Have you ever forgotten lions on stage? No. Wow. No, but I've had to work with some people who sometimes would flub some things. You'd have to help support it and make it up. My biggest nightmare, which is like someone skips a head. Oh, yeah. Oh, I've had that. Oh! Oh, I fully have that. And they skipped ahead. I'm like, oh, wait, wait, exactly. I'm a living stress dream. Yeah, exactly. Oh, no, it's true. And it happens. But I think that's the joy of it, too. For sure. So you're like, that makes you wily. I got to work on my feet. I got to get that storyline back in there.

44:11I got to make that cue happen somehow. I love it. You're such a challenger. Have you ever forgotten a prop? Like been like, gone in a scene to see. Oh, yeah. I've forgotten props. And you reach in your pocket for the. I think I forgot a gun. I forgot a gun. And I was like. And you were like. I just had to hold it like this. I was real strong. They're looking at me like, where's the gun? And I'm like, it's right here. Tough. You didn't just point your finger? I didn't point the finger. I was smart enough to not do that, but I just was strong. And I was a threat. But there was no gun, exactly. Have you ever had to say, is there a doctor in the house?

44:52No, but somebody said that on my flight the other day, and I was like. They did? And I literally thought, well, I played a doctor before. And I thought, that's not what they want. They're like, I'm sorry, if someone needs a medical emergency, is there a doctor on board? And I was like, literally for a second, I thought, what? I literally thought I was a doctor for a second. I love you. I swear to God. I really thought about it. I'm like, I can't do anything. I won't get doing it. When did you play a doctor? I played a doctor on The Knick. Oh, yeah. That show is great. Exactly, yeah. I mean, it must be to be a doctor.

45:24And when you hear, this is why you know you're not a doctor. Because when you hear, is there a doctor on board? And you're like, ooh. But a regular doctor must be like, oh, God. They must be. They must be. But also you start thinking like, doctors do different things. There's not one, right? So you think like, well, I have a doctorate. But you really do. Yeah. I have a doctorate. I am a doctor. You have a doctorate. I mean, I do not have a doctorate yet. I have a doctorate. But, but it just must be like, oh God, I can't, can I pretend I'm not a doctor? They're like, I'm just watching. I just, yeah, I'm watching this movie.

46:00I'm going to finish this. Yeah. I'm almost done with this season of Summer House. um wait what uh you you you have a doctorate yeah i do i just got i just got two in a month isn't that crazy oh my god congratulations it's kind of greedy though too i think i just got i just got one from swathmore college i got a i'm a doctor of arts as of four days ago fantastic and i got one from my alma mater temple university yeah that must have been really something it was really wonderful you went you went back and like didn't you have to give a speech i gave the commencement address at temple and i gave um a little acceptance of speech at swathmore and i But what I loved about it, especially right now, I feel like something about being with young people and students and just like, because I feel like they really need to hear some words out here.

46:43Like, how's it going to be? And they need to be inspired. What was your kind of, what was your organizing principle for your temple talk? Love. Yeah. I really feel like the more that I distill things of what I care about right now, what I want to inspire people to do is to love more. And whatever that means, I feel like that encompasses a lot. Yeah. But I feel if I'm talking about love and service and if people can attach themselves to that in whatever way it is for them. So I feel like I'm talking a lot about that because I feel like that's that's what we need to hear. I don't want to be, oh, you know, make this world yours and do this.

47:15And I don't need to do all that. But if you do it with love, whatever you're doing, just participate and feel like that, you know, you have a voice and you can you can be the change. You know, there's and don't be afraid of what's out there. There's probably jobs out there that aren't even don't even have a name yet that you're going to create. So I feel like I just want to inspire that with their imagination as well. Well, I mean, the word that I've heard described, a word that is used to describe you a lot is empathy. Is the empathetic way in which you not only work with people because you learn a lot by somebody, about somebody, by how they work.

47:51But that makes perfect sense that that's what you would be talking about. Because, I mean, in all the characters that you've played, you have even characters that feel like they're really the villain of the story. Right. There is, you are always approaching them with that, with basically that they're a human being. I think so. I think I have to love every character that I play. And I feel like even though the villainous ones are like, well, they're playing a pimp or a Mr. Nicola Perp or Joe Jackson. Yeah. I feel like I've never tried to take the lens of what everyone else says about the person.

48:23Right. I study my research and I find out who that person is and find my way in. Usually that person's connected to some part of me in some way. You're working Color Purple. You're working in Michael. Like the work you've done, the work you've done on stage, Rustin, how did that change? I mean, that portrayal was so beautiful and also just like a part that met you at the time when you were ready for it. Yes. Did it feel like that? It did. It felt like we were meeting each other when we needed each other. Like this role, this moment to pull Bayer Rustin out of the - For people who don't know - Bayer Rustin was the organizer of the March on Washington.

49:01He was an openly gay man at a time, of course, when it was not cool to himself or his body or him having momentum in this world. And he defied all that. And he was brilliant. No one could deny that he was brilliant and he was smart, but he was always on the sidelines of history. and I felt like, and I can, maybe I'll say it in this way too. I felt that my career was very similar in that way. I would show up, I would do the work. I was a practitioner, but I was always sort of a bit marginalized. And then in a way, just like, oh yeah, that's great. But that, that serves that purpose, but it's never the engine or something, but I knew I could be the engine.

49:40And so when I finally got this opportunity, it felt like we were meeting each other. We're lived with him. He's a part of me as well. And then also I just have to talk to you about Sing Sing. Okay. Coleman. Coleman, I watched that on an airplane and I love to cry on an airplane. Me too. Me too. It's the best thing. I love, I bet we're similar. I like to cry by myself on an airplane. Yeah. And, um, hope like, like, like hopefully under a blanket. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That must have felt like such a work of talking about love. Like it must have felt like a, what was it like to make that film?

50:20I think that's exactly what it felt like. It felt like I knew that I had the opportunity to help tell the story of these men in a really complex way. Incarcerated men. Yeah, these men were incarcerated, you know, with this beautiful arts program in the center of it. And they hung on to it like it was their, it was a new path for them to exhibit empathy and joy and dance and art and all this other stuff. So it was really like healing them in many ways. And I worked with a group of formerly incarcerated men who went through the program. And I really, you know, led this film and we produced it as well.

51:01But I knew it was something that like, you know, I think I got paid like$150 a day. Yeah. And we had a very tight schedule. Yeah, it looks like a labor. And this is the kind of work that you're like, oh, this is why I can do that other high profile work. And I can put my attention on work like this. That's very necessary. Yeah. And so we created with like, we locked arms together. And that's what it felt like, locking arms. And it was a great, beautiful challenge for me because these men have the lived experience of being incarcerated and going through this program. And it was the first time that I think I was challenged with actually giving even more of myself, of like putting myself in those circumstances.

51:35answers like, yeah, I could be wrongfully accused of something. I could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of people in prison are not, they don't belong in prison, you know? So I can find that part of myself. So I think it was a bit more bearing of my own soul in that work. And I think that's what the difference is for me. I can see it, which is why I feel like I haven't watched the movie that often because I feel like when I watch it, I feel, you know, when you watch something, you're like, oh, it takes you right back to this field. Yeah. It's basically what I I always, I have like a somatic experience if I'm watching something I've done much more than remembering like even the plot or story or like I just remember the feeling I had making it.

52:11Yeah, that's exactly it. That must have been an intense feeling. It was pretty intense. Yeah. I mean, it's so, you're so good in it. You're such a natural leader. Thank you. And you can tell in that film that you're leading people through the film while being in the moment in the character. Well, the funny thing is I did that movie after Rustin. Yeah. And I really felt like I still - Were you doing them at the same time basically? clear. A little bit, a little bit, because I had to do pickups for Rustin right after, and then I started to color purple. But I literally felt like sort of that trio of films really ignited that true leader in me on sets, you know, I feel like, and, and, and as a leading actor too, I sort of, I literally moved into my leading actor phase in a way, like sort of, but I feel like I needed all those years of supporting and, and being sort of that utilitarian actor and plays and things like that.

52:59I needed all of that. And, but I was always, even when I was doing work on stage, I was always the equity deputy. So I was always the one that everyone came to, to make, to right the wrongs or, you know, advocate for actors or practices or something like that. So it was like, I was the one like saying, well, being willing, but now I really have the, the role and the opportunity. And so then I took that into my leadership of Sing Sing and, and it's just kept going. It's such incredible work. I loved it so much. I wish we were friends then because i would have texted the shit out of you um okay so um as we're wrapping up and we're going to talk about your new movie disclosure day which is going to be a gigantic hit holy shit and four seasons which i love you on let's get to the fact that you've worked with and have been influenced by and shaped by amazing women yes truly your mother being the first edith who i just everything i read about her i just love i love her face and i love i just she just seems like a wonderful person.

53:56And I love the story of Edith writing letters to Oprah Winfrey, who of course was, um, a producer and, uh, in, in the color, in the color purple, um, version that you did. And can you just tell that story about how your mom wrote letters when you were? Oh my God. I love that story. Get this. My mom would, she would, when I was starting out as an actor in San Francisco in the 90s. I would call my mom. We would talk a couple times a week and I would have my struggles as an actor. And she would always say, well, you know, I wrote Oprah today. I was like, why? And she said, well, you know, she can help you.

54:36I was like, what's she going to do? She helps people. She can help you. She's the lady that helps people. You're so good. If Oprah found out how good you were, she could help you. And I was like, okay, whatever. so anyway so then like over and over again this was like maybe i would say eight times my mom wrote oprah and i was and i was so frustrated oh my god will you please stop writing oprah i'm like that's it feels crazy so anyway cut to years later i just have to sidebar say this my mother always she was like she was so hopeful and she would say oh my gosh i just need i just want spike lee to know you and Steven Spielberg.

55:18They would love you. They would just love you. And I'm about to cry, I think, about this. She always had that much faith that people, even if I didn't see it, she thought, if they just got to know you, they would love you the way I love you. Yeah, that's love. And literally, I'm like, as I look at my life now and all these people are in my life. Yeah, amazing. So sometimes I do believe that sometimes people have dreams for you, you don't even have for yourself. and at some point they meet. Yeah. And so I had this moment, I was in Maui with Oprah walking on her beautiful mountain. Incredible. And we're hiking.

55:54And suddenly I said, oh my God, it just occurred to me. I said, my mother used to write to you over and over again. And she says, really? I said, yeah. And she sort of stops and she says, oh, I don't know if I got the letters, but I know I got the message. and then we just continue to walk hand in hand and I I really do believe it's like I know that like I'm gonna say it I think that I know that like when I lost my mom in 2006 and I lost my mom and my stepfather in the same year I just I I knew that like my friend Melissa said um when I was very bereft and I said what am I gonna do with all this love I know that I was a good son if I know if I wasn't anything else I was a good son and she said we're gonna put the love into everything thing that you do.

56:43Yeah. Yeah. And, and let, and that will be, you'll do it in dedication to your mom. And so literally I feel like, because I've been leading that way, I've been meeting every person. It's like my, my mother's own Wizard of Oz. I've been meeting every person that she laid out for me and that they've loved me the way that she loves me. And so that leads me to like, with disclosure day, it's like, she wanted me, she wanted Steven Spielberg to know me. She didn't know Steven Spielberg would love me but we love each other now and he's my family you know I love that I love Edith so much um beautiful when I tell you you and I don't say this lately you would love her she was fun yeah and sweet yeah and like to dance I think I'm a lot like her to be honest yeah she talked to everybody she would she would really when I was a kid it was annoying I was like mom can we just go into the in and out the bank and she's like how are you how are you doing she flirted with everybody.

57:37She'd be like, look at your legs. You are so cute, Amy. She would do that. Well, you know what's kind of fun? When you're a woman of a certain age, I just realized it the other day. I was like, watch it, Amy. You get to a certain age where you start going, you're beautiful. Look at your butt. Wow, he's got nice arms. And everyone's like, oh, that little old lady is so nice. That was my mother. But you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful, exactly. But you just go, wow, look at her face. But also my mother was old school, so she would reach out and touch her too. She would, like, look at your little butt.

58:10Oh, yeah. My grandmother used to be like, oh, look at the chest on him. And I'd be like, Nana, you can't touch. So now you're becoming that lady. And I'm becoming that. Good. And how is it like working with my wife for life, Tina Fey? We have such good time together. The wildest thing is, it's funny. When I first met Tina, I was - She's shy too. She's very shy. But I thought, I didn't know what to think of her when I first met. Because I thought she's very, I thought she's very, she's like a scientist, especially when it comes to comedy and being very thoughtful. But she's also very, I find her to be very tender and very sweet.

58:40She's very sweet. She's very sweet. And she's, she's, she's more touchy feely than I knew. And I love that we've sort of become, I feel like she's becoming one of my good friends. Yeah. Because I love, I text, she texts right back. She's always in my corner. She's just, once I found out she's a Taurus too. She's a Taurus. What are you? Sagittarius. Oh. Yeah. Taurus. Once she said she, I found that she's a Taurus. I'm like, I got you figured out. I lived with one for 21 years. So I got you. She wanted me to ask you, what peptides are you on? I'm not on any, but I feel like I want to. I feel like she's like, she's in the writers room right now.

59:20And she said, ask Coleman. The writers want to know, where does he get his energy? They all think I'm on something because they're like, how are you possibly doing all this stuff? but it's just, it's like natural energy. We gotta get peptides. I mean, my dream is that while I'm recording these podcasts, we're all getting peptides at the same time. I feel like we should because I think whatever peptides is doing, people are looking good. You know what I love about peptides is people are like I'm getting all these peptides and it's like what's in it? And they're like, I don't know. Yes, that's everyone's doing the same thing.

59:48And you're like, you're just shooting it in and they're like, hope for the best. Hope for the best. I don't know. Okay, you're getting them every day and it's what's in it. It's called B128. Yeah. But you're right. No one can describe what it is. No, no one knows what it is. In fact, it's better not to know. Just like, let's just go. Let's just peptide it up. Let's just do it. You and I, let's do it. Peptide this shit up. Okay. You're in the big movie of the summer. It's, I mean, let's, Steven Spielberg. So we have this thing where we talk to people before our podcast and we find out more about them.

1:00:25We talk well behind their back and we talk to Steven Spielberg. Oh, you know you did. Yes. You did what? Yes. That's wild. We talked to Steven Spielberg. I was very nervous. Wow. I actually, I realized as I was talking to him, I was like, I almost was like, Mr. Spielberg. You know? And I said to him, like, your work is in my body. Like, your work is in my subconscious forever. You've shaped our childhood. Every single summer, every version of like an unknown world you brought us into. He's just so - He's singular. He is. And you've worked with him a couple of times. Yeah. So before we get to the great stuff he said about you, what is so great about working with him?

1:01:07What's it like to work with him? He's just lovely. Yeah. He's funny and warm. He's got a sparkle in his eye that make you believe that you can do anything. Even if he's giving you the wildest task of saying these lines while going through an explosion and the camera work is all intensive. he looks at you and believes you can do it. And so you have that belief. You're like, oh, great. We're going to make something together. We're taking a leap of faith together. He's really just lovely and he's kind. Yeah. And he's right there with you. He likes his portable monitor and he's right in the action with you.

1:01:43He's not at chairs. He's not at video village. No, there's no ego about the work. Yeah. And he's also just like, you know, what do you think about this? Or like, you know, you can bring your ideas. He'll be like, oh, let's think about that. So he's very collaborative. And that's what I enjoy about him. It's his kindness. Yeah. And also he feels like, how can I say it? He feels like he's just starting out. Yeah. He's that excited. He's like, oh, let's try that. Oh, I have an idea. He's like, Coleman, I have an idea. Okay, great. And he's like, okay, let's try it. And so he feels like he's a kid assembling his favorite craftsman around and he's playing with you.

1:02:19You're all playing together. I mean, this is like a big, it's going to be a big summer movie, like a blockbuster. But also I think it's a movie we all need right now. For sure. It is a movie. After I saw it, I've seen it twice now. And I've cried both times. That'll just tell you. And I won't tell you why I cried, but it really did feel like it's a movie that's trying to connect us again. All of us. Especially the idea of inviting the idea that there's something bigger than all of us that we're a part of. So I think that's why I cried. I called him right after and I said, you really care about us.

1:02:55You really care about humanity, you know, and what we're wrestling with right now in our times. Yeah. And then what can unite us? Well, he said the same thing about you. He basically was like, yeah, let me tell you. Okay, you know what? Forget about Steven. Let me tell you what he said. What did he say about me? What did he say about you? Well, first of all, he said that. Real Housewives episode now. That would be really funny. This is the first podcast where I'm like, he actually said some shit about me. he was saying that working with you is like working with a self-driving car. Like, you know that you're going to, like you have it, you're, you're in the zone.

1:03:32Like there's very little that he has to do because he has such faith in you. But what you lead with as a person on set in an ensemble is empathy and love and respect. So like what you get is this act, this very skilled actor, but also a really wonderful person. And I think the privilege of when you get to a certain age and you work, you get to want to surround yourself with those kinds of people. Like that's important. And it's not always the case. I think when you're younger, you're kind of like, maybe complicated, difficult people are there to challenge me in different ways. And I'll learn something from them.

1:04:08And I know for me anyway, like as I get older, I'm like, also I want to be around people, good people. Life is short. Yeah. Life is short. I mean, this should be fun. How lucky are we? So, and his question was, his question was kind of like a, cause we were talking about auditioning and I was asking him like, how do, how do people not get nervous around him? Like how does he deal with people's nerves? Cause he must have people coming and being like, nice to meet you. And he wanted me to ask you, did you ever not get a part that you tried hard to get? And like, what did you, what did you do with it when you like, what did you do with the feeling when you didn't get it?

1:04:46So many. Oh my God. That was like most of my career. I was booking a lot. I really felt like I was like, even things you felt like you really wanted or you really were skilled for. At some point you had to divorce yourself from the idea of getting the role. You're like, okay, I'm prepared for this, but it's not up to me. It's like someone, because maybe that's the thing I pride myself on. I'm like, when they want me, they want all of me. Yeah. So that means they want, it's okay if they want someone else. Yeah. So for me, I, it became a practice of being very sober about it and saying, you know, it's okay if they didn't want me.

1:05:18Cause like what I give is very different than that other guy. Yeah. It's not that he was better than me or, but they didn't know he was useful to them and all that he was going to bring to it. And that's cool. So for me, it was like, and maybe that was a healthy thing that I needed to give myself. Yeah. So I can give myself grace and like, and be, and continue to be a practitioner of this art form and not let it be about my ego. But it doesn't feel like it's a learned skill. That's hard to do when you're young. Because also when you're young, but also there are times when you're, I mean, listen, I've had moments where there were things that I thought I was perfect for.

1:05:47Yeah. And I didn't get, and it shattered me. But to me, I'll be honest on Amy, I never really imagined the place that I'm in right now in this industry. I just wanted to be a working actor. And also you're so famous and successful too.

1:06:05Oh my God, I'm so famous, Amy. But you're right. And also the contentment part, that's the goal. Yeah. Like satisfaction and contentment. It's the hardest thing to find. You know, it doesn't matter what you do. Yeah. Hell is wanting more. It's like hell. Yeah. That's suffering, man. It is suffering. I think the, listen, I got, I got a beautiful, beautiful message from this guy when I was turning 50. This guy was driving me in a car in Toronto and he was 70 years old. And I said, do you have any, any words of wisdom for my 50th? he said he said listen i wish i knew this years ago he said it's important to you want to hope for everything but want for nothing and i was like to eliminate want oof you know yeah so i know that like i when i walk into a room like you say i walk into these rooms or in sets i don't really want anything yeah i hope that it can be there's other things that i hope that it can be but i'm not coming to get something oh yeah you know what I mean, I'm coming to hopefully be in service and also to give something.

1:07:09Yeah. I think that's the best we all can be. So if everyone's coming from that place, we all win. Yeah. You know? The problem is only when somebody's coming in just like to want to take shit. And that's ego in the room. And that's some dark forces. And you try to just protect yourself against that, you know? We got to talk about those egos offline. Exactly. Those dark forces. Okay. I love that we're the same age, by the way, because I've said this before. We look good, don't we? We look great. Well, you look incredible. You look great. You look great. Thank you. But we're making 50, 55, 56. We're doing good.

1:07:40I'm turning 55 very soon. I'm older than you. You're 56, right? Yeah. And I'm like, what's your favorite part about your 50s? I love my 50s. You know what's funny to me? Lately, it feels like things are moving faster. Like I just turned 56, but I'm like, I'm not going to be 57 this year. That doesn't make any sense. And once you get past 55, I don't like the second half of the decade. Because like we like 50s. You know, like, I'm 54, 55. Yeah, you're like, I just turned 50 and then you're like, I'm about to hit 60. Yeah, and then you're like, you know what's 60? 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 65, 67, 67.

1:08:14I do feel like my 50s are my best. Me too. Yeah, I felt my 40s, I was, it was, it was fine. Yeah. 30s were awkward. It's getting better. It's getting better. Yeah, I agree. But also I feel like we have to, you have to be conscious of, you have to take care of yourself, right? That's right. That's right. In a different way. Show up in a different way for yourself. That's right. Yeah. So I feel like we're getting better. Yeah, I feel like our obsession with youth is like, I think it's changing. I think our generation is helping. I think one of the legacies of Gen X, I've said this before, is that, of which we are proudly proud members of.

1:08:41We're not boomers. We are Gen X. We're Gen X. We rock. Yeah. We don't give a shit. We really don't give a shit. We don't give a fuck. We don't give a fuck generation. We raised ourselves. We made our own dinner. We had a key around our fucking neck. Exactly. We had a job when we were eight. Exactly. We were like, fuck around, find out generation. Exactly. We're tough. 100%. We are tough. We really are. And we, and we, and nobody remembers us and nobody gives us any respect. Nobody gives us any respect. It's true. We're the toughest generation. We're never going to have a president. A Gen X president.

1:09:14Anyway. But we don't care. We don't care. We don't care. The system is broken. We always knew that. But one of the things about it is like, is that we've, oh, I've completely lost my train of thought. It's okay. It's okay. I'm too old. I'm too old. I forgot what I was talking about. Who cares? You know what? Who cares?

1:09:39Who cares? Who cares? Okay. Last question. Last question, Coleman. What has been making you laugh these days? I know you love to laugh. You love comedy. What are you listening to, watching? What do you go to when you want to check out, laugh? like dumb highbrow. What is the thing? I always go back to watching Melissa McCarthy and spy. Oh my God. Okay. Let's watch her right now. I got a laptop. Spy is my, any clip spy is, I will watch it. Melissa McCarthy is so funny. She makes me pee on myself. She's so funny. Have you guys met? I love her. Yeah. We, we, we, she came to, I saw, I met her backstage at SNL when she was there for Jack Black.

1:10:24And I just like, I really, I think we're becoming friends. because we exchanged numbers, but I really want to be her friend. Give me a little credit. What do you think I'm going to do? Run over there and be like, hey, I'm a crazy lady. Where's the buffet? I'm from the Midwest. Where's Blue Man Group?

1:10:40Luca's here, and I need to get close to her. Yeah, because she's like, she comes across as this mousy woman who works for the CIA, and then you find out she's an agent as well. And then she goes on this whole journey. Like, she was like really like, you know, laying back. And then you find that she's like the most wildest one of them all. She's wild. Yeah. It's all these great disguises, which are really, one is funnier after the next one. Rose Byrne is in it. She's out of control. This is a comfort movie for you. It's a comfort. I will watch it at any time. That and The Color Purple. I know it's very weird.

1:11:12Ooh, Color Purple. I'll watch like the whoopee version of it. Oh my God. Or this. So either I want to cry hard or I want to laugh harder. Oh God, I'm with you. I'm the same way. I want to cry. You know what I don't want to be anymore? Bored. Scared. Don't want to be scared? No. I don't want to be scared. No, I don't want to be scared. I don't want to horror anything. No more horror movies. No, no, no more horror. No, no, no. No more. I just saw the other day there was some new thing. I won't even say it. And I was like. You don't want that. I don't want that. I don't. No more movies about being attacked in your own home.

1:11:43No, no, no. That's terrible. Those are terrible movies. I never watched those movies. Me neither. I don't want that. I don't want that. No. No more. We either want to laugh or we want to cry. I pee, like laugh or cry, period, the end. That's it. Well, I feel like you should do a movie with Melissa McCarthy. I think I should too. I would love that. God, you're so funny, Coleman. Oh, thank you. You can do anything. Thank you. You can wear a lime green. You can pull it off.

1:12:11Well, thank you for my egg. Oh, this has been so great. So fun. We've been talking for an hour and a half and it just went by so fast. That's so good. And I just love being able to call you a new friend. I feel that way too. Thank you for doing this. Congrats on everything. I'm always excited about whatever you're doing and like a true, true fan of your work. So thank you. I'm a fan of you in every single way. Thank you. Thank you so much for doing this. Coleman, thank you so much. It's so fun to be around you. You're just a joy. And thank you so much for doing this show. And, you know, Coleman and I talked about a lot of things.

1:12:45We have a lot of shared similar experiences being pretty much the same age growing up in the East coast, but we did mention dance party USA. And for those of you that, uh, haven't seen any clips of that, do yourself a favor and go to YouTube and watch a dance party USA. It kind of was like a very suburban version of American bandstand, like soul train, you know, without the soul. Um, and it was on in the eighties, just, there's such incredible hair. um such 80s hair tons of hairspray incredible outfits and it's just kids dancing um to the hits at the time and what was so fun about dance party usa was of course kelly ripa was on there we that was the first time i saw kelly she i think she went by a different name but um but also uh they just would like talk about the relationships that they were having and that people were dating and breaking up so it was like a it was like a soap opera with no lines and lots of dancing.

1:13:45Dance Party USA. Check it out. It's a time capsule. Thank you so much, everybody, for listening to this episode of Good Hang and all the episodes and can't wait to do more for you. Thank you. Bye. See you soon. You've been listening to Good Hang. The executive producers for this show are Bill Simmons, Jenna Weiss-Berman, and me, Amy Poehler. The show is produced by The Ringer and Paper Kite. For The Ringer, production by Jack Wilson, Kat Spillane, Kaya McMullen, and Alaya Zanaris. For Paper Kite, production by Sam Green, Joel Lovell, and Jenna Weiss-Berman. Original music by Amy Miles.

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