Russell Wilson: Beyond the Scoreboard

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0:34And refills show up at your door, which means one less decision and a big win for you. If you want a healthier option your kids will actually be excited about, use the code DrBecky for 50 % off your first order at HayaHealth.com. This is The Playbook, a limited series by Good Inside in partnership with Nike. I'm going to be talking to some of the most successful athletes of our time. Leaders who have had real impact in their sport. And I'm going to be talking with them about their highs, about their lows, about their mindset, about team dynamics, about what really motivates them, about the way they talk to themselves and recover from difficult stages.

1:17And I also have some of my favorite moments with these athletes where we talk about their life off the field. Their early years, their family life, the things that keep them grounded, their rituals and superstitions that keep them going. We cover so much in every conversation. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside.

1:38From the outside, people see Russell Wilson as polished, professional, and yes, obsessed with winning. They see someone driven, someone who's relentlessly optimistic, guided by faith, grounded in family, and fueled by a higher purpose. But what the image doesn't always show is what it takes to be that person. The discipline, the mindset, the daily work required to hold it all together. The part of the story that doesn't show up on the leaderboard or during a broadcast. Over the past decade, Russell has built a legacy as one of the NFL's most respected quarterbacks and community figures. He's a Super Bowl champion, the Walter Payton Man of the Year, and a tireless advocate for faith, family, and service.

2:29He's also a devoted partner to his wife, Sierra, and a proud father of four, leading his family with the same intention and faith that guide him on the field. At its core, Russell's story is about mindset over everything else. The belief that mental strength, preparation, purpose, habits, systems matter as much as talent. He spent his career seeking inspiration from great coaches, mentors, and leaders who challenge him to keep growing on and off the field. I'm so excited for you to hear this conversation. Hi. What's up, Dr. Becky? How you doing? I'm excited to be on your show. I am so excited to be talking to you.

3:12We have so much to get to, and I want to talk about so much of your career and sports and parenting and kids. But sometimes I feel like the best way to understand that is actually to start by rewinding a little bit. So I actually want to start, such a psychologist thing to say, with your childhood. I don't know the expectations that were set by your parents, how that kind of shaped things. And I learned that you grew up in a family where there were pretty high standards. So just wanted to talk a little bit about your early years, what that was like. My childhood, I think what my parents did really well, they always encouraged rather than discouraged.

3:48My dad used to ask me questions like, you know, Russ, you're eight years old right now, but you're 25 years old. Paint a picture for me. And I would start painting this picture as my dad was driving. And he'd be like, that story's not good enough. And I'd be like, what? What do you mean? That was a good story. And he'd be like, no, no, no, I want more. I want your imagination to be even bigger. But I think those early years from five to 12, 13 years old, my parents and my mom and my dad, they really both just influenced me in a big way. They painted a picture that was bigger than I could even see.

4:22And I think that allowed me to create. That allowed me to dream. That allowed me to go after what I really wanted to go after. And I think that was a big deal for me. And next thing you know, when I turn 12, 13 years old, I'm starting to wake up at, you know, 515 on my own and say, Dad, let's go hit grounders. You know, let's let's do some baseball. Let's do some football in the mornings before he go to work. So that discipline of getting up early was a big, I would say, proponent of my trajectory later on. Yeah. And did just to be explicit, you're five, you're six. So you're like, no, Becky, at that point, someone was waking me up.

4:59They're like, let's go. Let's get out of bed. Let's kind of get to work. My dad would knock on the door and be like, son, wake up. Let's go. Five thirty. We got to go. And were you like, yeah, you were like, oh, man. Yeah. No, I was I want to sleep extra. But next thing you know, as I got older, eight, nine, ten, especially when I was like eleven, twelve years old, that shifted the atmosphere. I was waking my dad like that. What are we doing? We're going to work. and so that was a big piece to it yeah but he instilled that in me you know and I always saw my mom working she was an ER nurse she was a woman that was helping try to save lives and you know and I just saw the toughness and the grit you know my mom and my dad and I feel like they would do anything like anything to to help me and I never forget this I had this one kid come up to me and I had this kid come up to me and he's like hey you know I know what your dad does I'm like what are you talking about my dad's a lawyer what do you mean like he's like well I know what your dad does I'm like what are you talking about in front of all the kids and he was like your dad works at the gas station and I'm like huh like my dad doesn't work you're like no your dad works at the gas station I'm like my dad saw your dad and I'm like yeah that's because my dad's doing a case and he's doing an investigation and you know my dad's you know working extra because of that and so I'll go home my dad I'm like I'm like devastated all these kids are like I'm like, I'm going to this rice, you know, rich private school and I can't afford it.

6:26I'm like the one only black kid there basically. And I'm like, I'm like, dad, you work at the gas station? He goes, yes, son. I said, what do you mean? He goes, well, I'm working extra hours. I said, well, why? He goes, you want to go, you want to go to a great school, right? Like you want to go do all the things you want to do. I got to do extra for you guys. I'm doing anything for you. And I remember him saying, I got to buy those books. and so I just remember what's coming up for you now as you tell that story I just sacrifice I think sacrifice is everything I think the ability to sacrifice for your kids and your loved ones I I was playing football and I was playing basketball and you know to buy the back bat from Dick's Sporting Goods or to buy the new a2000 baseball glove from Dick's Sporting Goods or to buy the new football cleats or, you know, to whatever the new football that I wanted to buy.

7:18You know, I always wanted this Wilson football and I was like, I want to buy that. Or if I wanted to buy some new Nike cleats, it was like, you know, I had to, my dad had to work extra and I didn't understand that at the time, but he sacrificed my mom, the same thing. And so I think that's taught me a lot. That's taught me a lot about, um, you know, sacrifice and sometimes sacrifice in my situation is different. And I just feel like at times, um, you know, no matter how much we have or how, how little we have, right. There's a point in time that parenthood is all about sacrifice. It's the willingness to do whatever it takes for your kids, um, to have a better life than you.

7:57And, um, I think that's something that I've learned along the way. That story about your dad working at the gas station. I can like my heart, like it just, that hit me in such a deep, heavy way. It is amazing when we look back on our lives and we think about these very specific examples that represent something so big about what our parents really were willing to do for us. And clearly that shaped your attitude toward hard work and grit and determination. And so linking that to more of your career today, how did some of that prepare you for this career where, I mean, every moment of your professional life is taped, is analyzed, is talked about, right?

8:41I mean, the good parts, the hard parts, right? And so moments that don't go as you wanted, don't go as imagined, where a lot of those moments are very private for people. They're not for you. How do you feel like the way you were brought up helped you cope with those? Could you walk through a specific example? Yeah. I mean, I have a few examples. I think losing my dad was one. Yeah, I looked up to my dad. My dad was everything to me. He was, he's my closest friend. He was somebody I could count on, somebody I could rely on. But I just remember going to NC State. I get there. My dad says to me, he says, I want you to promise me something.

9:19I said, well, what's that? He goes, well, I want you to graduate early. I said, graduate early? Like, well, what do you mean? What does that mean? Like, like graduate early from college? Like how fast? He said, I want you to graduate in three years or less. I also think about in life, too, you go through challenges, obviously career-wise. You know, I won a Super Bowl, won Rookie of the Year. I won the Super Bowl the next year. And then finally, we get all the way back to the Super Bowl, get to the one-year online, and it doesn't work. And through that, I realized that not everybody's on your side.

9:48Everybody that you think that's for you may not be for you. Like they pile on? Just like in the sports world, you know, you carry a lot of weight on your shoulders. and people love you one day and they hate you the next. And that's how fickle the world is sometimes. But for someone listening to this who's an athlete or their kid is, or, you know, kids get in this place, let's say it's, you know, they're like, oh, that game didn't end the way I won. Or I wish I had passed the ball. Or how did I miss an open net? Whatever the thing is. And there's a period where maybe this doesn't happen to you.

10:19I want to know where there's a period of you can be really hard on yourself. You kind of listen to the noise and it gets in. Then maybe we have to work to get it out. how does that actual process work for you? Are you like, no, no, no, I just, it never comes in or no, like it comes in and I have to work to get it out. How do you talk yourself through that Super Bowl or through something else? Yeah, I think there's moments in life that definitely the negative stuff comes in. And I think what true champions are able to do is it's not that it won't come in. Negativity is gonna come in and come your way.

10:50And adversity is definitely gonna happen. What we do know in life is adversity is gonna happen. But we also know is adversity is temporary. And I learned this a lot in my mental coach, Trevor Moad, and I. He was with me for 10 plus years. He passed away of cancer, unfortunately. And man, he was the number one sports psychologist basically in the world. We always talked about this idea that adversity is only temporary. And we believe it so much that there's a thought that, you know, we believe in positive. I'm a positive person by nature, Dr. Becky. I'm definitely positive. but what we found was that yes positivity works but what we know works 100 % of the time is negativity and so we started talking about this concept around neutral thinking and what does neutral thinking really happen like when things go well and you throw five touchdowns can you stay like this and when things don't go your way and you've thrown three or four interceptions and it's the NFC championship game like how do you stay okay because it's still just a 16 point game and we can still win this game and you got to be here.

11:52And so I've always believed as a leader, as a, as a husband, as a man, um, you know, as a father, it's like, man, I just want to be here. So you know what you're going to get every day. And I think that's a big thing about sports in particular, like there's going to be ebbs and flows. There's going to be challenges. And once you realize that you have to embrace that and realize that adversity is going to come your way. Um, I think you take on those challenges and you move forward and you're able to bounce stuff off. We all think a lot about like, how do I deal with adversity? There's going to be times when life doesn't go my way, right?

12:25In sports, with kids, personal life, that's all true. We all want to get better at dealing with it. But what you're talking about with neutral thinking, in order to get better at the lows being less low, we actually have to watch for the potential for a high to make us feel that high. because if winning a game makes you feel like I'm a better soccer player and I had five touchdowns in a row and all of a sudden because of that outcome, my mood goes from here to here, all that leaves me is vulnerable to when I throw two interceptions for me to feel like the worst quarterback in the world. And so you're really talking about how much does an outcome change my baseline level of thinking about myself?

13:11And I think a lot of people don't realize that the more we let the good stuff make us feel so much better than everyone else, we're leaving ourselves vulnerable to a bad game kind of plumbing us into an abyss. Yeah, it's a perfect thought process. I think what neutral thinking is to me is this idea that it's not outcome based. Yes. A lot of things in life are outcome based. and I think that when you really you know learn yourself and really start mastering the best version of you you realize that it's not outcome based but it's process based and understanding that hey you know what is the process that I'm going through are the things that I'm going through that are the the practices and the lessons and the things happening in life you know am I getting better daily and those daily incremental gains I think are really critical and yeah and so So I think I've learned that a lot, that I embrace adversity.

14:06I embrace the process more so than the end result. If Steph Curry is a 94 % free throw shooter, right, and he misses a free throw or two in the NBA finals, does that make him a bad free throw shooter? If Michael Jordan misses a free throw every once in a while, does that make him a bad? Absolutely not. He's still a great free throw shooter. It's just he missed that one. And so sometimes you have to get back to the moment of keeping your elbow in. if a great golfer misses a putt, does that mean that he's not who he is? It's just sometimes the ball goes, doesn't go your way. And I think the big part of it is, is that you get back to the process of their fundamentals.

14:43Um, and I think for me personally, um, that's something that I've been really addicted to and focused on even when I'm going through my challenging times is understanding that, Hey, you know what, like stay focused on the process of practice, stay focused on the process of your warmup. So you focus on the process of having the same routine every day. Yeah. And that's been a big part of, you know, my continual just looking forward to the next moment. Yeah. Knowing that when I get the ball again and I get the opportunity again or whatever it may be that, you know, the next moment can be my best moment.

15:14You know, two things come to mind. I remember my oldest used to play baseball. I remember him coming to us after a game and he was really working on shifting some stuff in his swing to get more power, different things. And he ended up basically hitting like a lot of outs. He hardly got on base that game. And he's like, but I really felt this thing click. Right. And I'm like, really, I was like very proud of myself. Right. And I feel like it's just such a good example of him separating like the thing under his control that is always under his control, his process, his system that he really did believe would eventually help him.

15:46It happened not to get him on base that game. Right. But it actually not only protects our confidence, but it actually keeps us going back and eventually achieving more. And it sounds like that's kind of what you do too. Yeah, there's this love and addiction for the process, for the great ones. Yeah. I think that when you love practice more than a game, you know, everybody loves the cheers and everybody loves the moment when you get in the end zone. But it's the stuff that happened before. It's all the stuff when you're isolated in your room by yourself and you're laying on your back as a young kid and I'm nine years old throwing the ball to my ceiling just to work on my spiral.

16:31Yep. Our brain is a muscle. You know, you got to work it. You know, we got to work our mental side every day. I was talking to somebody, a close friend the other day about this is like, you know, if we can work that every day and communicate with ourselves, like what's our own internal dialogue? And you're playing baseball and you're 0 for 17. And all you're telling yourself is I suck. I'm no good. I'm terrible. I can't hit the ball. I can't do this. And all of a sudden you keep believing that. And, you know, versus focusing on just this one pitch. Just square this pitch up. You know, just square this one pitch up and, you know, it's a home run.

17:05You know, it's interesting. One of the things at Good & Side we talk a lot about is this importance of separating identity from behavior. It's when we collapse the two that we spiral. I'm an awful baseball player. Like, I'm a good player who hasn't gotten on base in a while. Right? And if you know you're working on your fundamentals, separating any one moment or one behavior from kind of who you are as a person gives you a lot more freedom to get back to the fundamentals instead of kind of spiraling essentially in shame. Well, it's funny you said that because there's, you know, I do these camps with kids and I talk to kids a bunch.

17:37And I even talk to our son, Future, who loves playing basketball. He's really good at football, really good at baseball, too. And it's so funny, we do these different camps, and I try to talk to the kids about, you know, has there ever been an amazing quarterback you've always loved, but he's never thrown an interception? Like, every quarterback that's ever played any games has thrown an interception. Now, that person's also thrown a lot of touchdowns, too. And you have to be able to take the bad and the good and take them together. And that's why we love the people that we love, because they're able to overcome.

18:11and I think that adversity that they are able to overcome makes them great and that's part of a two minute drill in football. You know, you get down and you're down 10 and you got to find a way to come back and those are the magical moments and those are the moments we have to embrace. That's right. I always think sports on the field or off the field, there's no greater feeling than watching yourself do something you weren't sure you could do. Like the high you end up getting from that and every moment of adversity kind of sets you up for that moment.

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21:10So question, in your home, how do you bring this to life, these lessons on the football field with your kids and your partnership? Like what habits do you guys have? How do you talk to each other? I mean, I'm sure stuff comes up all the time. I think that if mom and dad are good, the kids will be good. So that's been a big piece for me and Sia is like, let's focus on you and I extremely well. Let's make sure we go on our date nights every Friday. Is that something you guys do? Yeah. Ever since we got together, I told her, I'm an old school kind of love guy. I want old school love. Let's take it back to the old days.

21:44And I think it's important that we're able to spend that quality time with each other. and so that one-on-one time like being able to put my phone down for at least an hour and say like let me just you know stare you in the eyes and talk like those moments are like what I think keeps us going at such a high rate yeah and I think a big part of that is is saying hey let's make sure you and I are good first I think for every mom and every dad back at home like make sure you guys take care of you first and I think it's so funny because I always ask see like who's comes first me or the kids you know and i feel like for moms there's that nurturing the aspect of them yeah they they really want to take care of the kids first but i think it's important that we do it together yeah and that um you know if dad and mom are good then the kids will be good and i think part of that after that is like okay now each kid's different especially when you have multiple kids like one kid may be super high energy other kid maybe lower energy the one kid may have attitude other kid may not like so how do you deal with that and and your approach i always say kyp you know your personnel i say that in football but it's also saying in life and at home it's like kyp each kid's different and you got to know your personnel yeah i think it's so important that we're able to understand how how you talk to each one of them and but love them all the same and hold them all accountable the same like i'm i'm probably the more firm one sierra's good at being like clear in her, but like, she's got a little morally way.

23:10She's like, but I'm like, no, my yes is yes. My no is no. Like if I say yes, you can go to, you can stay up extra five minutes. You got that five minutes. So, you know, I'm thinking about the way you were talking about your dad. It was so clear how grateful you were for the life he provided and worked so hard. How with the life you have, the fame you've achieved, the success, how do you think about cultivating gratitude in your kids? I always feel like when I walk into, you know, a room or if I go to the children's hospital, if I go, um, and eat somewhere, like I want to make sure that I clean the dishes.

23:45I don't want to just leave the stuff on the table and not do it. Um, if I'm going to somebody else's house, you know, it's like, make sure you make each place better. And I think that's important. Um, and it's important lesson because our kids have it different. Our kids in particular have it different than we grew up. Yeah. You know, you know, our parents had to work for everything and we've had to work for everything, but we've been blessed beyond measure. So now how do we do that? How we give back? And so we try to teach our kids even, you know, around the holidays, for example, making sure that we, we, we make them responsible for giving back.

24:18And I think, you know, whether it's clothes or whatever it may be, those little things along the way that are actually big things to others. All right. I want to, I want to transition a little to think about because you're in such a unique position to think about tools and some of them probably emotional mindset tools for the next generation and especially the next generation of kid athletes who are into sports so a couple questions along those lines your kid comes to you or you're coaching a team and a kid comes to you i suck i'm the worst player on the team what what what do you feel like a kid needs in that moment he needs to change his dialogue so you i don't i don't i don't let my teammates say that.

24:56I don't let my kids say that for dang sure. And I'm not going to say that to myself. So as a coach or as somebody leading young kids, I'm not going to let you say that. Not around me. And they hear that tone, like not around me. Like we're not saying that. Like your internal dialogue has got to be a championship dialogue. What does that sound like after a tough game? You know, it's like, you know what? Today was a tough day. You speak about your truth. Today was a tough day. But you know what? Tomorrow is going to be better. and here's why right like you start painting that picture yeah of here's the reasons why and here's what i've done before you know what like you know every great like my dad used to talk about hank aaron and you know um for anybody who loves baseball hank aaron is obviously one of all-time great hitters of all time um best baseball player arguably of all time and what was interesting hank aaron always believed even if he went oh for four he always believed he was four for four and i think there's a fundamental thought process that we have to we have to wire our own mentality and our own language our own internal dialogue um it has to be has to be stronger than what the external dialogue is but you said something that's nuanced and i think it's really important and again i think this applies to so many things i think about with kids off the field we have to start to connect to someone you have to join them where they are today some version of it.

26:17Right. And I would call that like validate where someone is. But as a coach or as a parent, you have to see a more capable version of that kid than they can access in the moment. This could be true at drop off. Your kid's freaking out at drop off. They don't want to go to school and you have to start. I know drop off's hard today and I know you're going to end up having a good day at school. There's like, I see you now. That's true. But I also see a version of you that's a little more capable. And it just reminded me so much of, okay, today was a tough day. True. I don't have to be scared of that thought.

26:47And tomorrow is going to be better, right? Like there's this duality. Both can be true at the same time. You can have two truths at the same time. And I think part of it too is, like you said, painting that picture. Difference quickly, difference between encouraging your kid and pressuring your kid. Encouraging to me is you're telling them what they can be. You're painting a picture for who they are you're encouraging them what they've done and what they can when they're capable of I think pressuring their kid is you're putting that you're putting your own mindset on them and what they what they have to be yeah how do you balance as an athlete being anyone being really competitive you want to win and being being a good sport I think it's a character thing I think being a good sport is how it's just how the game should be played.