Sanya Richards-Ross: Running & Reinvention

0:00Ladies and gentlemen, from good inside, the voice and turn worldwide, Soccer and race.

0:17I don't know if you know this about me, but I am very into sports. When I was growing up, I was a competitive gymnast and I was on a competitive soccer team. And I was pretty intense about it. I was really driven, which sometimes worked for me. And in other stages, actually worked a little bit against me, or at least my own mental health in the moments. My family today is also super into sports. My kids play sports and we just watch a lot of sports and we get really into it. And sometimes I step back and I think, what is this phenomenon? I have such an emotional reaction to people. I don't even know what is going on.

0:58I love learning more about competitive athletes, what their early years were like, what shaped them, what motivates them, how they think about performance differently than other people. Anyway, my interest, my curiosity about sports is actually what led to this series. This is The Playbook, a limited series by Good Inside in partnership with Nike. I'm going to be talking to some of the most successful athletes of our time, leaders who have had real impact in their sport. And I'm going to be talking with them about their highs, about their lows, about their mindset, about team dynamics, about what really motivates them, about the way they talk to themselves and recover from difficult stages.

1:45And I also have some of my favorite moments with these athletes where we talk about their life off the field, their early years, their family life, the things that keep them grounded, their rituals and superstitions that keep them going. We cover so much in every conversation. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. We'll be back right after this. Today, I'm sitting down with someone whose story I cannot wait to explore. Sonia Richards-Ross. You know her. She's a four-time Olympic gold medalist. She's also won a bronze medal. She has five Olympic medals. She's one of the greatest 400-meter runners of our time.

2:26From the outside, people see Sonia Richards-Ross, the ferocious competitor, laser-focused, in control of her craft. Such a winner. They see her power, her confidence. They see a champion who rose again and again. That's all true. And today, I want to look on the inside, the mental strength and the inner work that shaped Sonia long before the medals and long after the medals. Hi, Sonia. Hi, Dr. Becky. I often like to start by actually rewinding. So maybe we can jump in. just when you think about your early years growing up in Jamaica getting into competitive racing probably lots of things in your early years besides that just tell me a little bit more about that what comes to mind man you know that that's a really good question it's so funny because sometimes I feel so far removed from that life it feels like I've had two lives and so it's nice to sometimes reflect on that but when I think about my early years um I just think I mean they were just wonderful.

3:31They were wonderful. I had amazing and still have amazing parents. We grew up like middle upper class in Jamaica. We used to go to the beach every weekend. Everything was just so good. And I remember, you know, just kind of that pureness of finding sports and loving track and field so much and wanting to be great. And my parents just doing everything that they could to help me live my dreams. So in Jamaica, track and field is the most popular sport. So I remember as early as I can remember four, three, four, five, the country literally shutting down to watch the Olympics and watching Merlene Adi and some of those great athletes, you know, have the kind of success and the admiration from the country.

4:11And I was like, I want to do that. I want to be an Olympic champion. And so when I was seven years old, I we had a fun day at school where you race and you do all these things. and I beat all the boys. And the head coach for the track team was like, okay, you're joining the track team. And, you know, just started from there. And I remember Dr. Becky, my dad, as early as probably nine, 10, 11, 12, telling me you're going to be the best in the world. You're going to be the best in the world one day. And when I was nine, I wrote for my class assignment when they asked, what do you want to be when you grow up?

4:42I said, I'd be an Olympic champion when I was nine years old. So it started really early. You know, of course it was very fun for me. I wouldn't say that it became, you know, this huge goal for my life until I was really 16. I started to really like lock in and do all the right things. But as early as nine, I had dreams of being an Olympic champion. When you were in that nine-year-old-ish range, I'm just always curious. Was it one of your parents who's like, Sonia, come on, we're going to do some running now? Were you more like, mom or dad, I'm going out to run? Like the motivation, was it always intrinsic?

5:14Did it start from someone else and then it transferred to you? How did it work when you were young? That's a great question. It was intrinsic. I remember my parents telling me I would get up, like if we had a track meet that weekend, I would be up at five, six o 'clock, already dressed by the bedside. It's time. I'm all be like, Sam, it's too early. The track meets not until four or five. And so I remember as early as I can remember wanting to run, wanting to win, wanting to be the best. And then I think my parents nurtured that. And that's something that I feel like is something that we don't talk about a lot and And how, you know, that balance of when you have an individual who desires to be great, how do you foster that?

5:52And I think my parents did a really good job. My mom and dad always let me lead. Right. So they followed my lead. Like when I was like when it was just fun for me, they didn't make me ever feel like there was a ton of pressure on me. It was always just like and then at 16, when I was like, OK, dad, I really want to be great. My dad was ready to go equipped with all the things that we needed to do that. So I would say it was intrinsic. And I just always had this burning desire to be great. And my parents just always met me where I was. It's such a powerful model. I don't know if you see it around you now, but sometimes it's hard to differentiate.

6:29How much does the kid want this? Yeah. How much does the parent want this for the kid? Who's living whose dreams? I don't know if you noticed that just in families around you now, but it sounds like it was pretty clear for you. This is my dream. This is my motivation. I'm the one getting up. I want to do this. And then the other the other thing you said that I think is really important, too, is your parents supported that like they nurtured that. But it but it came from you. 100 percent. 100 percent. My parents did everything that I asked them to do supported me in every way. But it certainly was my dream.

7:01This wasn't something that my dad had hoped for me before I wanted it for myself. And that's something that I'm really is really important to me now as a mom with my with our children. We have four, three boys, and I want them to lead like whatever they're excited about, whatever they love, we're going to support them. But we're certainly not going to plant any unrealized dreams of ours, you know, into them. Yeah, I mean, you have a lot of realized dreams. The rest of us have a lot of unrealized. I just want to point out. I think I read, but this is right because you said 16, but age 12, you move.

7:31Yes. Is that right? Okay. Tell me about that. So you were 12 and you left Jamaica. So my, um, my entire family, most of my family was still living in Jamaica at the time. So my mom is one of six. And so she, there are two boys and four girls and the majority of her family. And my dad comes from a small family, uh, his mom, Jamaican, his older sister, Everyone was still in Jamaica. And so around 12 or maybe around 10, my mom's eldest sister migrated to the States. Her mom migrated to the States. And so they kept saying to her, look, if you're going to make the move, you want to do it now while the kids are still young.

8:07So they'll have a chance to get into a good university and just kind of that, you know, living that dream. Like you want your kids to have a better life, more opportunities. And so my parents for two years kind of thought about, OK, what would this move look like? Where would we move to? And so when we were 12, when I was 12, my sister was 11. My mom and dad decided to move to South Florida. One of her sisters were there. We traveled there a lot and she felt like it was kind of the easiest transition from Jamaica to Miami, Fort Lauderdale area. Kind of, you know, the same kind of weather, the same kind of vibe.

8:39And so, yeah, my parents basically moved for us to be able to have greater opportunities. And so I went to middle school for one year and then I went to high school for four years in South Florida. and then got a scholarship to the University of Texas. And before we move past those early years, what was racing like? What was winning like? Performance like? How did you handle that? And how did that all play out for you when you were younger? I certainly learned my drive and desire to be successful early because I used to love to win so much. And my dad, whenever I did lose, you know, my dad, I would cry and my dad would be like, that's okay.

9:14That's okay. it should matter to you that things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. And I would have that moment to be able to be in my feelings, to cry. And then he'd say, okay, what are we going to do better tomorrow? How are you going to improve on this so that you don't have to have this feeling again? And so it definitely helped me to be able to deal with disappointments, but also to get back up on the horse and to try again. And do you remember at those ages, you'd lose something, okay you'd feel your feelings like what would you say to yourself did you spiral was it kind of like short window be upset back back at it tomorrow like what was what was your process even when you were younger I feel like the people around you can really help to shape you know because you are young you don't know how to deal with those emotions and so I was never that kid that spiraled out because things weren't going my way I was like okay it didn't work out I feel I'm sad about it now, but tomorrow I get a chance to try it again.

10:08Where was the feeling greater, like the joy of winning or the hatred of losing for you? The hatred of losing? For sure. I enjoyed winning a lot, but I think I hated losing more. And that was my drive to always work really hard. So speaking of that, actually, the person in kind of the next lane, I know you've said before that your biggest competition has never really been the woman in the other lane. is kind of the expectations you hold for yourself. And what I'd love to hear from you about is I have this concept I think a lot about with parents, with kids is how much we gaze out and how much we gaze in.

10:46And both matter. If you're only gazing in, you got to pay attention to the world. But a lot of a lot of women and I think a lot of young girls are almost trained to whether in sports or elsewhere, gaze out to the point that they don't gaze in. What matters to me? What do I care about? And you you seem to have from a young age, like it's never about the other person saying like, I am someone who gazes in for my expectations, at least before I gaze out. So tell me a little bit about that. Yeah, I think for me, I have that really good habit from sports of saying, OK, when I start to think I'm getting too distracted by looking at other people, I then zone back in to know like, how am I performing against the barometer of success I've placed on myself.

11:28And especially as a mom, I've given myself a whole lot more grace these days. But yeah, it was something that was very intentional about. But look, it does kind of remind me, it's interesting, I was just in a live event, I was saying this, but it feels like a parallel. Like as soon as a mom, we're judging our good parenting by say, whether or not our kid had a tantrum when we held a boundary, I always say, I'm like giving away all my power. My kid's going to do what they're going to do. But do I know my job? Do I feel proud of how I showed up? And if I if I do, I'm like, OK, I'm going to hold this boundary because let's say I don't want my kid to watch another show and maybe they have a tantrum, but that that's kind of on them.

12:10Do I know how to hold the boundary? Do I show up in a way I'm proud of? And can I find a win based on gazing in totally separate from my kids behavior? It doesn't seem that far from like, am I focusing on what I need to do in the lane versus what she's doing in the lane over there. No, that's a, that's an amazing parallel to motherhood. And I love finding that because I feel like I work so hard in sports. And so it's like, whenever I can draw that into my new life as a mom, I just think that's such a great way to, to analyze it. And I think we do as moms put a lot of, oh, am I doing a good job based on our kids reactions or actions?

12:47And it, you know, it's really true. Like it's really, am I showing up? Am I doing my best? And that's really where sometimes the wins are. So I love that. There is a world where you are doing your best, let's say, on your baseball team. And another kid moves up the batting order above you. Like, they can both be true. And how you handle that moment. First of all, if you're a competitive kid, you're going to be upset. But it's very protective to be able to say, OK, like, what did I do over the summer? I feel proud of my work. I know I'm working on my swing. Look, the kid next to me, whatever it is.

13:20he she grew at a faster rate like wow I'm impressed too and for right now this is where it's at but I did work hard and I am proud of myself even if that other kid is batting you know more home runs and that's that prevents someone instead of something feeling hard like if you don't have that you're gonna spiral based on someone else right so to be able to find your win in sports in parenting separate from someone else's behavior to me is such a mental health protector. Right? Absolutely. You have had, right? Some kind of heartbreaking moments in sports and racing, right? That, you know, the races where things didn't go the way you wanted to, injury that changed everything.

14:08And I know you've spoken about, in some ways, like we learn more from those moments, probably over time, maybe not at that moment. Yeah. Well, what have you learned from some of like that? Can you tell me about one of a hard moment that comes to mind or a hard result and how it felt in the moment and then maybe over time what what you got from it? No. Yeah. I mean, one of my toughest, toughest moments in sports came in 2008 when I was favored to win gold in the Olympics. I had been from 2020 from from 2006 to 2008. I was undefeated. I had been running really well, world number one, broke the American record, was just on track to just, it was just like, felt like it was meant to be.

14:49And also too, I mean, you know, I had worked really hard, you know, especially in 2008 with the Olympics being that season, it's just natural that you just up everything. I was eating right, resting, just doing all the things to, to win this Olympic gold medal. And so when it didn't happen for me on that night and I finished third, I felt like the world was going to come to an end. Like literally it was, it was the most devastating, heartbreaking experience I had had in my life up until that point. Because the other thing too, Dr. Becky is the minute you cross that finish line, you know, you have to wait four more years if you get the opportunity to be there again, because most athletes only make one Olympics in their sporting lifetime.

15:32And this was my second Olympics. So it was really, really, really, really crushing to have done all that work to get to that point and to only lose that race. So I ran 20 races that season. That was the only race I lost was the Olympic final. Like, I felt like I just wanted to go inside of the track and like, just go down, like just where, you know, cause I just felt like, like I felt my body was failing. Like I was literally like, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. And then as I was like, So I was bawling, crying. I was really, really disappointed. And I remember we, at that Olympic night, they gave us our medals that same night.

16:05Sometimes you get them the next day. And so they, you know, everything's happening so fast. I'm devastated. My heart feels like, I feel like I can't breathe. Like I'm having all these thoughts like, oh my God, did this just happen? You know, so it was just a lot of things happening, Dr. Becky, all at once. That made it extremely crushing. Yeah. I really thank you for being willing to put words to that. I think the interesting thing is like there's no universality to being in the Olympics. That's like a very select group of people. But the feeling of like something that I assumed kind of would happen and I worked hard for and I wanted all of a sudden in a moment, there's like this disbelief of it not happening and the loss.

16:46Less than a minute, Dr. Becky. In less than a minute. In less than a minute. I hope and dream that you had your whole life just gone in a minute. it's it's it is really and i'm getting emotional now thinking about it because it's like so hard to describe that like you know i mean like you think you're from i was nine years old i'm like this is my moment this is my time like i beat all these girls all year it's like why didn't it happen you know so here you are now you've survived it which is sometimes the best we can say about hard things and what did what did that looking back it doesn't take away the pain i think sometimes we think like the growth takes away the pain or they just can both be true.

17:26So, yeah, what what what have you taken from that or what did it do to you or do for you? Yeah. So, you know, so there were there are a bunch of lessons, but there was one that was like in the moment or I call it in the moment because the same Olympics a couple of days later. And then there's, of course, what happened beyond that. But I think for me, what the best thing that happened to me was obviously my whole family, everybody knew how especially how important it was to me so they all gave me that night to like cry and kind of mourn that you know lost opportunity moment I remember the next morning my coach he he of course I saw my coach after but we didn't exchange a lot of words because he knew you know so the next day I was I we had the relay so at the Olympics you do individual events first a couple days later is the four by four relay so I competed in the 400 the four by four relay so I told my coach I said I'm not running I can't even picture myself getting back on the track.

18:17Like, there's just no way, like the commentator, Otto Bolden, who is now my colleague actually said this was the biggest upset of the games. Like that's how much people had thought for sure I was going to win it. And so, um, so my coach says to me, he says, no, you don't, you're, I'm not going to allow you to do that. He said, you've worked too hard. You're going to leave here with a gold medal. And I remember, so thank God I had two days off. I had the first day of like not getting out of bed. The second day of going back to my coach and him saying to me, no, I'm not going to allow you to do that.

18:46You're going to get out there and you're going to win an Olympic gold medal. I run the anchor for Team USA. And most of the times we get the baton in front. Like I've always kind of run like a victory lap almost because our team is so dominant and we just, you know, are crushing it by the time I get the stick. And so this time in 2008, we actually get the stick behind Russia, right? So I get the stick, I am behind the Russians and, you know, it's going to take everything I've got to pull out this gold medal. And so already, of course, I'm very emotionally drained from all that I've gone through.

19:20Of course, I'm physically fit because I haven't trained, you know, forever for this. And so I remember, you know, pacing myself behind her, pacing myself behind her. And with the final 100 meters to go, I think, OK, I'm going to just I'm going to pass her. I feel like I got it. So I go out and I don't pass her as quickly as I thought I would. And so I had to dig even, I mean, I'm talking about from my pinky toe. I'm like, we got to muster up, you know, what it's going to take. And so in about the last 10 or 15 meters, I overtake her and I win gold for my team. And, you know, I think for me, the lesson I learned in that moment that I think has helped me through my entire life is we can overcome massive disappointment and still show up for ourselves and show up for what God has for us, you know, because I could have missed out on that opportunity i could have stayed and my team might have won silver um and you know that moment would have happened but the fact that the people around me not just my coach my mom and everybody said no we're not going to allow you to give up on yourself it allowed me to have that moment that i think is that was for me kind of the turning point in my career the very next year i won worlds and then i went on to win my olympic gold medal in london in the individual So I think that moment there of showing up in the face of all, I mean, all the things that was happening internally, externally, to still show up, go out there and have that level of success.

20:43It just proved to me that I can I could do anything. You know, I could show up under any circumstance and be great.

20:59proof of struggle isn't dangerous because it feels right so so there's two things i want to i want to add on here first of all when i heard your language with what your coach said right like I'm not going to allow you to miss this. I'm not, right? It's interesting because to me, there's a direct parallel to what our kids need from us all the time. And I do think it's the thing that modern parenting is missing. I know at Goodinside, it's like a core principle to see your kid as capable, right? And so, and to set them up to see that themselves. And we have to see our kid as capable so many times before they can access that feeling in themselves.

21:43And we can't collude with their assumption that they can't handle something because if your coach did, that's like, in the moment, maybe it's temporary relief, but it's the worst feeling. And so just the other day, I was talking to a friend and it's different, but so similar, where their kid lost the starting spot in their soccer team, very competitive. And was like, I'm not going to practice today. I can't, like, it's always the starting team. I'm going to walk out and I'll be like, wait, that's not even me. I'm going to be one of the kids watching from the sideline. I've never not started before.

22:14My friend called me. We talked through it. And I said, what you're going to say is you're going to that practice. I'll drive you. Okay. But in my life, but I won't let you take away an opportunity to see you are capable of dealing with this. It's going to feel awful. It's going to feel embarrassing. It's going to be the worst practice of your soccer career. I'm in agreement with all of that. But to watch yourself just survive that, I will not let you take away that moment. Because for the rest of your life, soccer aside, you're going to have people get promoted before you do. You're going to have someone get married and get a big house and you can, whatever it is, you're going to have people get things, you're going to be disappointed.

22:56And I will not let you in this state make this type of decision for yourself. And that's what we coached around. And it was it was it was from a place of love and belief and capability, which is sound like exactly what your coach did and kind of saying you're not in a place on you to make this decision for yourself. I know you like you're not in the best place to do that. And so I am going to set you up. Yeah. And I believe in you. And like, I just had the chills thinking, thinking about that. Yeah. When you repeat it, it gave me chills. And my coach just passed away about a month ago. And so just, yeah, he was such an honorable and amazing man.

23:35And it also taught me, too, that the people around me didn't care about the medals like this. It was so much deeper and so much more beautiful. And, you know, it was about just me. It was about my self-development. It was about me striving for my goals and just always showing up doing my best. And so, yeah, I'm so grateful that he said those words to me. I will not allow you, you know, to miss this opportunity. And like I said, when people look like more people remember that race than even my individual London gold medal, because it resonates. Right. Like we all fall down, like we all fail, you know, to get back up and do something great.

24:12I think that, you know, that that made my story, I think, more relatable than just the win, win, win, win, win. Most people don't have that experience like we, you know, it's a win. We fail forward, you know, all those things. It was beautiful. I have to say you're much more likable just from. So the other thing that came up, as you were talking about, I worked so hard and so hard and so long. And then it's gone in like a second. Honestly, the thing that resonated so deeply in my body is something I know I hear from parents all the time as a parallel. Which is interesting for me because I know this is something that's happened to you too, is miscarriage.

24:57Yeah. is as soon as we get pregnant, it's like we have the date, we have the life, we imagine the thing, we're planning for the season, I'm going to become a parent. And then it's just, it's so powerful that you use language that I hear from people all the time. Like in an instant that was gone, like in an instant that was gone. Like I've kind of also wanted my whole life, this and, you know, or many months and then it's gone. And so, and I know that's a part of your, your parent journey as well. Yeah. You know, that was, and that was, I have a community called Mommy Nation. And so I'm around, like, you know, like we talk about all the things we're in community.

25:40And I have heard so many other moms talk about their experiences with miscarriage. But until you experience it for yourself, you don't realize just really how gut-wrenching, heartbreaking it is because it's true. I think the minute you start to accept that you're, you know, you're a mom and you're like, it's happening and you're like excited about it. And you, you know, start to think of the name and the room and the, and then it's just gone. There's this like, you know, strange dichotomy of like, did I do something wrong? Is something wrong with my body too? Was it meant to be like all of these thoughts of like, why did this happen?