The Funny Kid Becomes the Dad: How We’re Raised with Kenan Thompson

0:00I recently traveled to Switzerland for work, and I have to say, the home I booked on Airbnb really shaped the whole trip. It overlooked the mountaintops, and there was this sweet little porch where I could sit in the morning and drink my coffee. If you were following me during that time on Instagram, you saw me post from that exact location. Also, there was just this incredible coffee machine that somehow made my morning routine feel intact, even across the ocean. And I was also just able to get sunshine before a full day of conversations. All those quiet moments in the morning, they grounded me.

0:30Oh, and this touch I just loved was I got three bars of Swiss chocolate left by my host. And I can confirm they were all gone by the end of my three-day stay. When I travel, I don't just want a place to sleep. I want a place to land. A living room where I can decompress and a space where I can do bedtime over FaceTime and feel at home when I'm away from home. That's why I book homes on Airbnb. It helps me find places that feel grounding, not just convenient. because when where you stay feels good, everything else feels a little better too. One of the biggest kind of ironic situations that a lot of comics are dark people, but I want to be a light person.

1:09You know what I mean? I want to be a person that provides joy, but also has joy. And like, what are we going to do? Like, we're going to dwell on, you know, negativities. Like, I would much rather try to spin towards the light. Here's something I think about a lot. The roles we play as kids. The funny one, the responsible one, the easy one. These roles don't just disappear and we grow up. They often become the traits the world sees us as or rewards us for. And when all this happens early enough, it can shape how we move through every room we enter. My guest today is someone a lot of us feel like we grew up with.

1:51Kenan Thompson started performing as a kid in Atlanta and became a household name on Nickelodeon shows like All That and Kenan and Cal. Today, he's the longest serving cast member in history of Saturday Night Live. For decades now, he's been the person who can walk into a scene and make it funnier, lighter. But what interests me most isn't just that Kenan is funny. He's also incredibly steady. In an industry that's known for chewing people up, especially people who start young, Kenan has built a career defined by consistency, generosity, and longevity. And he's also the dad of two daughters, which means he's in a very different role now, not just performing for a room, but shaping the environment his kids grow up inside.

2:37Today, we're continuing a series called How We're Raised, conversations about the homes we grew up in and how those early experiences shape the way we live, lead, and parent today. This isn't about celebrity or comedy. It's about the kid underneath the performer. The roles we learned early, the gifts those roles gave us, and sometimes the pressure that came with them. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. I'm so glad you're here. I mean, I feel like second kids are a little more, like, wild and free of, like, a lot of the pressures of being, like, a firstborn child and just like that firstborn child for some reason just has the mentality of like, I have to get it all right, basically.

3:22You know what I mean? And I think like a second child is somewhat free of that a little bit and kind of, you know, got a little bit of a cheat code with an older sibling to be able to just kind of like either ask questions or watch and observe and learn much faster and kind of take or leave the pressure a little bit and be a little bit of the tension breaker, honestly. because you have that perspective where it's like, why are you guys arguing? What happened? Do you know, like, okay, they didn't read one assignment. Like, is it worth all this, like, anger and stress? Like, I remember kind of being in that position when it wasn't my fault.

4:01It's just like, all right, well, you know, let's all just kind of, you know, figure out a way to turn this energy another kind of way or something or try to tell a joke. But, you know, at a young age, you don't really, you know, overly identify with what's happening necessarily. You just kind of want everybody to feel better. So yeah, I remember kind of just being witnesses to, you know, tensions and wanting to break it basically or send it in another direction. Well, zoom out or just maybe zoom back before we come back here. So one of the things I think a lot about in families and why I love working with parents and kids is I think about a family a lot as a system.

4:37And I feel like within a system, we all act individually, but we're all really impacted by the system we're in and we can take on roles and we kind of, with our siblings, we'll see what's left over. We'll pick up what's left over. So if I go back, your identity as someone who, I don't even know how you would describe it, is funny, seeks humor, creates humor, can find a nuance in a moment. When did that start? I mean, I guess my sense of humor came along with my brothers, us watching a lot of TV early because we're cable generation kids. So same. Yeah. We grew up watching, you know, movies over and over and over again because I mean, latchkey ish, you know, kind of just being in one place where, you know, your parents kind of know you're safe or whatever, you know, TV was a companion.

5:26So what'd you watch? Pretty much in those days, it was coming to America's and trading places and things like that. But like also like spies like us and Ghostbusters and a lot of SNL people's work in general basically because I think those are the main kind of comedy you know powerhouses that were actually you know putting movies out like Spies Like Us I don't think you know no names could have gotten that done just because it's such a crazy story it's just like a story but you know since it was you know Chase and Aykroyd it got done kind of thing so yeah it started early you know and like we used to take road trips because my parents are from you know Virginia, and we grew up in Atlanta.

6:06So to pass the time, this is before anything, you know, kind of electronic was concerned. Like, yeah, maybe, what was it? It's like CNC or something. Like, what was the most lo-fi digital thing back in the day? Those road trips were long and boring. You know what I mean? And we used to just, quote, come into America back and forth. Wipers? Yep. Exactly. Yesterday's my birthday. Yeah, from moment one. Yeah. And so, was it then where you're like, all my brothers were kind of funny? Or were you like, no, I kind of had a knack for the moment. I kind of was the one making everyone laugh. A bit of both.

6:45Like, my dad, for sure. My dad's a joke teller. My mother's side of the family were, like, country people. They were out in the woods kind of thing. And they stayed in the house at night. Like, once the sun went down, it was dark out there. So, it's like 5 o 'clock still, you know? So many hours in the night. and we're all just gathered around kind of like the stove to keep everybody warm. Who's going to entertain us? You know, not these three channels that they have on TV. Someone's got to be kind of like the, you know, the party person. Like my dad had that personality. So it was nice to be able to relate to that and also not necessarily have to be that kind of thing.

7:22And then, yeah, me and my brother just had this bond of, you know, our senses of humor being very, very similar. like what we were struck by in those movies was very similar. Did your sense of humor being funny, is that ever anything that you feel like worked against you? Only in times where I was naive to how other people were taking it. You know, like I've been, you know, kind of confidently naive in, you know, certain circumstances where it works in my favor, like auditioning for things and not being afraid to, you know, throw a joke out there and then, you know, pretty much just assume people are going to laugh at it kind of thing in auditions or assume that I was coming across in a charming kind of fashion or anything like that.

8:12Like I was very kind of naively confident like that in that sense. but I wasn't necessarily too aware of in normal settings that someone might be like getting annoyed by this or you know I'm being you know I'm pestering them in some sort of way like once I started going on a tangent I couldn't tell if it was annoying until I actually would have a reaction you know so I didn't know where the finish line was until that person responded kind of thing. And yeah, it was usually a negative response that was the teacher basically. So. We kind of know what your Saturday nights look like, but your Sunday, your weekend, an ordinary Tuesday, give me a sense.

8:57Yeah. I mean, I'm all about like chasing the family around, you know, when I'm not working, that's just like, that's my happy place. Just knowing what the little ones are up to. They're so busy, you know, I want to be around them as much as possible, basically. They're not that little, right? Well, how old are they? They're 7 and 11 now and it is going way too fast. I just had a two-week break and I can't believe it's over already. And what is, let's say, a Sunday in your house that your kids like? Yeah, I mean, New York is such a good place to just be out, basically. So we go to dinners or we go to museums, ice cream museum the other day.

9:40It was a lot of fun. What might people maybe expect of you as a father based on at least the version of you they know, you know, from TV or maybe what might someone not expect? I mean, I guess like people don't see me in like the disciplinarian role because they don't know me like that. You know what I mean? But, you know, I'm a father. So like I have to, you know, show where the boundaries really are kind of thing. You know what I mean? And I don't want to raise irresponsible citizens, basically, and I don't want society to correct them. So I think that's one of the more surprising things, you know, when I'm just like straight face dad mode kind of thing or whatever.

10:20But, you know, we still have a good time. Do you think about that, especially in the context of, I don't know, raising kids with fame around them? Like, do the boundaries matter that much more, trying to avoid that classic entitlement around that? Yeah, I mean, in the beginning, like when they were young, I was very, you know, kind of territorial around, you know, picture taking and stuff like that, you know, out in public or whatever. And then they got to a point where they kind of were just like, Dad, why don't you just take the picture kind of thing. So, like, once they felt fine about it, you know, it didn't bother me as much because I just wanted to protect, you know, their childhood.

10:59You know, you only get, you know, your one childhood kind of thing. So I wanted our time together to kind of be pure of that, if you will, kind of thing and just have it be as normal as possible. Like, you know, at home, I'm just dad, basically, as opposed to like, you know, Keenan. It's so funny when people call me by my first and last name. I'm like, you don't know me very well. You know what I mean? Like no one just like calls their friend by their first and last name. Yep. it's a pretty like immediate indicator that you're a stranger. Kenan Thompson, like that? And I remember it went from Kenan and Kel to Kenan and Thompson.

11:38People called you Kenan. People used to call me Kenan and Kel. People used to call me Kel. People called me Tracy Morgan a lot. Like people called me a lot of different things. And then once people started like calling my last name, I was like, oh, wow, I'm really out here, basically. You know, I'll have people call me my whole Instagram handle on the street. Dr. Becky, I couldn't sign. I was like, wow. Okay, okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you. And I'll take a quick picture, but. But I'm thinking for what you do, you know, one of the things I think about a lot is something I call porousness.

12:10Like how porous are we to our environment? How much do we notice things and take it in versus how much are we kind of a little more self-focused? And one's not better than the other. They both kind of matter. but being attentive to your audience, wanting to get their reaction versus really kind of paying attention to your own line of thought and like allowing a kind of a pause to not totally throw you. I'm trying to think where you are in that spectrum because I'd imagine both matter in your line of work. You can't be totally taken by the audience's immediate reaction, but you're probably also, you need to kind of track it.

12:47Yeah, and before SNL, I think, I was always like, well, that's not my responsibility. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't write this, you know, or whatever. I'm just kind of just doing whatever someone else asked me to. So if it's rubbing you wrong, you know, it's not on me. Like, I think we all apologize together kind of thing or whatever. And then SNL is when, you know, that relationship between, you know, call and response was real, basically. Because it's like, oh, no, they want you to write and they want you to write well. not just the people at the show, the audience. You know what I mean?

13:23This is an audience of people. There's people out there that have watched every single show. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you have the audacity to come in and try to present what you think is funny. But good luck with that because it's a pressure cooker and it's also everybody's dream job that's doing comedy or voices or sketch. You know what I mean? There's a lot of people that want to be in that position kind of thing. So it's not like you can just assume everybody's going to let you figure it out for the sake of being fair. You know what I mean? I got very lucky, but I was able, I think, to service the shows in other ways while I figured out the writing part of it all.

13:56Thank God. So, yeah, no, it's intense. Yeah. People have described you as kind of calm, unflappable. Is that something that you've always— I get flappable. You're flappable? I'm flappable. Okay, we're going to now describe you as flappable. Yeah, yeah. I can get flappable, though I get very concerned. What's the hardest part of your job for you? it's funny marcello i was just reading my something marcello said he's like the most annoying part of the show is coming up with the next funny thing doing comedy as far as comedy is concerned on that part of my job that is i think the hardest thing is just to constantly find new things you know it's tough when you have success um does that does that kind of i don't know, make the stakes, it can feel like it can make the stakes even higher for the next time.

14:47Yeah. Because it's like, now you have to validate the success, but it's like the success was the validation in the first place and people miss that part. You know what I mean? Because they're like, all right, well, let me just reestablish and on the next one and on the next one and on the next one. And it's like, you're kind of competing with an infinity mirror. Like you'll never see the point where you're going to actually catch it and then actually legitimately like transfer to the next level of appreciation from people, if you will. So take the success at the moment, you know what I mean? And then remove, I guess, the pressures for the next one.

15:26And then the success on the next one starts with you. How do you feel about it? You know what I mean? Did you enjoy that sketch that you put up and blah, blah, blah. And like, you can't lie to yourself. You can be like, yeah, I'm the one that liked it, but the room didn't laugh. Like, that's not a success. You know what I mean? Like, you can't. be naive in that way. But you can kind of let the finish line be with yourself, if you will.

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18:10something i talk to parents a lot about is we have to gaze out in the world and notice something i did how did it land and how did my boss think about my project or whatever it is but we live in a world now where i think we gaze out at the complete absence of gazing in yeah like gazing in be like did i like it right and that doesn't mean forget about itself right that's not the whole truth either, but without that, you completely, completely lose yourself. Yes. Because you're starting with your sense of humor or your idea or what you think is humorous about any given specific subject matter. You know what I mean?

18:46So why leave yourself out of it at the end? You know what I mean? It's like, no, it's like, keep yourself kind of involved. It's not necessarily about you, but your instincts, your taste, you know what I mean, is a large part of this, you know, and you shouldn't like gloss over that just for the sake of trying to please the audience, if you will. That's right. I guess I'm picturing a circle of kind of what I think is funny. No one really cares what I think is funny. Oh, come on. Of course. And then the other circle is like what the audience thinks is funny. And obviously kind of success probably happens at you know, the intersection, but it is something that happens.

19:25And it's not just in comedy. I think it's with sports, right? Or with anything we start to do as a performance is we start to have success because we do have something inside of us that tastes the unique perspective and it has an overlap with an audience. But if we completely lose that focus internally and we start to just focus on externally, I think we drive ourselves into the ground. I don't know a good example of it going that way. You know what I mean? When everybody starts micro-focusing on everyone else except for themselves. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. You just, it's unfair to yourself.

20:02And I think at some point, subconsciously, you start to acknowledge that. Like, hello, I would love to be acknowledged in this whole thing. Like, everybody else is feeling good about something, but I'm just stressed and tired. Right. You know what I mean? And like, now I have to come up with something else. and I didn't even get a chance to like really understand why or just have a moment, you know what I mean? Like when we did Electric Shoes, I got a DM from someone showing me their mute autistic child, singing along to it, just humming it, you know, and humming the notes and like they were like in Chick-fil-A or something.

20:39And then like he watches this every day, you know what I mean? And it brings him so much joy. This is kind of the only time he makes noise, if you will. and it's like that's just our silly little idea you know i mean like bringing so much light into you know these people's lives basically so that was when it was like all right that's the power of what we're doing here basically so don't let that like other side you know bring you too far down because the upside is so high like being you know a gift to others is such a high thing to be involved with, in my opinion. Has comedy taught you how to deal with failure?

21:20Maybe failure. I don't love that word. It feels so final, but struggle, something not landing. Oh, I thought that was going to go well. Turns out it didn't. I think comedy, but like also like, you know, being in the business or like working young, you know, kind of taught me that, you know, there's always more opportunities, you know what I mean? So I don't necessarily have to wallow in failure too much. Like, okay, I failed there, you know, but here comes another opportunity where it's like, you might succeed on this, you know, based on what you learned from this previous situation or whatever.

21:52If you can look back at failures without too much emotion and try to find a lesson in it. There's not a lesson in everything. You know what I mean? Sometimes the lesson is that that wasn't funny, but you know, if you can find tools for the next kind of thing, it's great. And SNL especially is another kind of like, don't dwell on this one specific show. There's another show coming. Opportunity will continue to come, you know, as the sun rises kind of thing. The show will go on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely helped with not wallowing. Is that perspective helpful in your parenting with your kids?

22:29Yeah, absolutely. Especially trying to convey that message, you know. and I guess there's no better example than by leading by example. It's like, all right, if you need an example, look at what I do. You know what I mean? Like I've done so many different kinds of projects. Not every one of them is great, but if I dwelled on the fact that I did a bad one, I wouldn't have been able to do a good one following behind it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, Peter Cottontail is not going to be the same as Trolls, but we try the hardest, you know, and do our best each time and things turn out to it. Not to say that Peter Cottontail was bad.

23:11It's just, it's just different. You know what I mean? And success wise, it's like night and day, you know, like trolls is a ginormous global thing kind of thing. And Peter Cottontail, I think was on DVD, you know, so very specific kind of audience. But we have to be careful how you look at your successes and failures and stuff like that. not micro focus on either one of them and just kind of continue building and continue being creative and continue servicing as long as it is servicing both yourself and the audience it's you know it's a lot like yeah we're preaching to the choir you know with this kind of like balanced talk in life but that's really what it is in so many different ways it really is yeah when your daughters are upset or having a hard moment what shows up for you panic

24:05um and also like wow you know what I mean like okay because I'm not I guess over I'm not a big crier so to see tears come from me was like yo like why what's that like let's pull back and like Like, stop the tears, please, by any means, you know what I'm saying, kind of thing, and get to a place where we can discuss the differences between what you would like to have happen and what, you know, a parent's discipline, you know, should allow to happen kind of thing. And just find a middle ground without so much crying, but not necessarily diminishing, you know, them going there emotionally. And, like, it's a reminder of me.

24:48Like, we're all human. You know what I mean? Like, maybe I should allow myself to be more emotional, but, you know, I've been blessed. Are you not a very emotional? Were you an emotional kid? No, not really. I mean, I'm just kind of like even-keeled. Like, yes, I get, you know, more like upset, angry-wise about things when they don't, you know, when they, I guess it's a sad thing because it's like I'm such a logical thinker. Anything sad makes me mad. So, you know, I try to like not get so temperamental kind of like touristy temper kind of whatever um and just you know stay even so when bad things happen it's like all right well that happened and like what are we going to do like we're going to move figure out ways to move forward or are we going to like dwell on you know negativities like i would much rather try to spin towards the light you know if possible like not necessarily

25:47not feel the moments, you know, but. But you're oriented towards. Yeah. I don't want to engage in sadness. You know, I don't want to engage in, you know, being angry. I don't want to engage in none of that. I want to engage in the good times. Like I do comedy for a living, you know, yes, it's the toughest thing in the world. And it's one of the biggest kind of ironic situations that a lot of comics are dark people. But I want to be a light person. You know what I mean? And I want to be a person that provides joy, but also has joy. Yeah. Are there things you want to do differently as a dad for your girls than what was true in your childhood?

26:24Yeah, we used to get whoopings, man, you know, so start there. We've already been doing that, like, very, like, no hands, you know, hands off of everyone, feet to yourself kind of thing, you know, and then use your words, if you will. So that's four, if you will. I have to stop it. But yeah, that's kind of the approach these days. And it's a huge one because, I mean, there's arguments for, you know, being straightened out dramatically, unfortunately. But you feel me? but at the same time like no we can we could definitely raise children without switches and belts and and you know spankings and stuff like that or whatever and you know there's plenty of cases to to prove it so like why not yeah go that route and like yes you may have to have a little more patience or say things a little more often or be a little more on top of situations when they do arise, but that's your responsibility.