Garrett McNamara: Conquering the 100 Foot Wave and Other Nutso Acts

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0:49I'm Guy Kawasaki, and this is Remarkable People. We're on a mission to make you remarkable. Today we're diving into the awe-inspiring, maybe fear-inspiring, world of big wave surfing with Garrett McNamara. He is a surfer who has not just danced with the waves, but tamed the mightiest among them. He has the singular distinction of riding perhaps the largest wave ever recorded. This is an epic story immortalized in the HBO series 100 Foot Wave. Garrett is not just about surfing. His journey encompasses a profound narrative that extends beyond the ocean into family, colleagues and his own development.

1:39His story is as deep and riveting as the gargantuan waves he surfs. I'm Guy Kawasaki. This is Remarkable People. And now, as we say in surfing, it's time to turn and burn with Garrett McNamara.

1:59You're all vulnerable, right? You're all susceptible to injury or really death. And feeling vulnerable is a survival instinct. But I just want to know, how do you push past feeling vulnerable and actually do it? and go out there and risk your life for the for the actual action of surfing and going out there it's what we love it's just second nature and it's my passion and i'm just excited like a kid in a candy store i don't really get ever get butterflies i never really get nervous i definitely get excited that's what i have i always have to slow myself down because i get so excited i get so worked up that I can't wait to get on the waves, can't wait to be out there.

2:48And I'm just like a kid in a kid in Christmas, a kid in a candy store, just excited. You're not fearful anymore. But how did you get to that point? Is it the lack of fear or you put fear in a bottle? Fear is something we choose when we're thinking about the past or thinking about the future, Two things that don't exist. We're so conditioned. We're always thinking about the past and the future. We're never really in the moment. So then fear is super easy to choose. It's super easy for us to choose to be afraid. I just faced my fear. When I was 16, I wouldn't go out over 10 feet. I was terrified.

3:27I got pounded on a 10-foot wave. It was only a 10-foot face. And I vowed to never surf a wave over 10 feet. And then at 16, my buddy forced me to go out. He gave me the right board. gave me the right advice, and I caught every wave I wanted. And then that was it. The fire was lit. I lived for big waves, a passion. I loved big waves from that day forward. But there was limits. It was 10 feet, then 15 feet, then 20 feet, then 25. Waimea got pounded on a solid 50-foot face. The worst you could ever get pounded. Came up laughing. So then I was like, I can handle anything. And then a couple weeks later, I break my back.

4:07at Waimea. So it was a good lesson that no, I was losing respect for mother. You know, I had to respect, but I was kind of like, I'm stronger, I'm better. I can handle, I can conquer. So now I take the approach of complimenting and always having a hundred percent respect, no matter if it's two feet or a hundred feet respect. The fin can come out of the, a two foot wave and cut your jugular vein and you're gone on a two foot wave. Boom. So you You have to have respect. The real reason the fear disappeared was I had been surfing so many waves all over the world and trying to just go deep, trying to get barreled, trying to get barreled, trying to get barreled.

4:50Then I got that barrel at Jaws. It was a sensory overload, the most rewarding spiritual feeling I've ever had on a wave, just so beautiful and special and endorphins and adrenal. and it was just like, wow, that was it. And that was 2003. And then from 2003 to 2007, I just surfed every swell I saw on the map. If I could get there, I was there, and I got the most monumental swells that happened during the year, no matter where they were, Japan, Chile, Australia, Indonesia, wherever the swell was going, I was getting in front of it, and I was going to catch the wave. Mavericks, I surfed Mavericks probably 50 times, if not more, in 2003.

5:34to 2007. And so I was just conditioned to be used to it. I started to get very used to it. And once you do think something so many times, you get used to it. I took Anderson Cooper out to Nazarene and we went around the rocks and it was a pretty big day, like 30 foot faces, maybe 40. And he's all going through the rocks over there. I'm like, no, we don't do that on a big day like He's like, what are you, chicken? And I'm like, well, you're calling me chicken? So then I did a big U-turn and started to go through the rocks. And right where you get in front of the rocks, the most dangerous place in the world where Coddy was, he falls off the jet ski and a wave is coming.

6:16So I had to turn around, pick him up, pluck him, and then go through the rocks. And then I tell him, what's up? You're not afraid? What's going on? I don't have any fear, but I'm wondering, what about you? And I don't have fear in the ocean. And he's like, oh, no, I've been through so many dangerous situations where you just get sensitized. You desensitize. And the fear, it's more of a natural thing. It's more like a walk in the park. And I went to Alaska, the glacier wave in 2007. And when that thing was falling down and then it created this perfect, this teeny wave, three-foot wave that didn't even break, more of a swell.

6:53I'm getting towed out of the let go of the rope and I'm riding under. and then I look up behind me and it's 300 feet tall and it's a mile wide and in reality that whole thing could fall off at any time if the whole glacier wanted to move forward but any little pinnacle anywhere along the whole mile can fall at any time and if they fall flat I was immediately dead there was no question about it I was smashed under when you fall flat it's called a bookshelf when they detach and go straight in that's what creates a good wave but if they detach and go flat it's a huge biggest shotgun in the world and so I always envision positive thoughts I always envision positive outcomes but while I was on that wave detached from the rope looking up thinking oh shit if this thing falls I am dead fact and I envisioned myself smash at the bottom like a tomato and that sensory overload was the heaviest rush I've ever had in surfing way heavier than any ocean experience and from that day forward there was no more rush in the ocean so I wasn't afraid when you're afraid you get the rush the endorphins release adrenaline but if you're not afraid it's normal so every time I would catch a wave it's a chopo or mavericks or wherever and I would kick out usually it chopes because everybody's right there you catch your wave and all your friends are right here and my friends knew what was going on with me and I'd kick out and they go well why'd you get the rush I'm like no not really I couldn't get the rush anymore so I'm like well I always surf for the rush I surf to put food on the table and surf for the rush and now I wasn't getting the rush I was like what's going on here I'm also afraid to ask you this question, Garrett, but can you apply that lesson to people's lives?

8:45People are struggling to get past fear of a new job or fear of a new challenge in their career. Does any of what you've just said translate to mere mortals? It's not mere mortal. It's going after it over and over, no matter how many times you fail. Don't be afraid to fail. Just go out there. Do your best. Prepare, prepare, prepare, prepare. Do your best. The rest is up to the universe to allow or let you go on to another interview or let you go on to another job. But the most beautiful thing that I've found is figuring out what you love to do. And then make that your goal before you go out and try to get any jobs.

9:33Okay, I love playing music or I love writing or I love doing podcasts or whatever it is you love. And then make a roadmap. Do very detailed but not too rigid but detailed of exactly what you feel realistically will enable you to do that for your job, for your career. Or for fun when you're not doing your 9 to 5. Preferably, that is your nine to five. And if you make it very realistic, it will come. It will happen. And the best way to make it long-lived and enjoyable and love it for always is when you attach a selfless component to the blueprint. So somehow giving back, somehow making a difference.

10:19Then everything always falls in place and you're always happy because you're making people happy. You're not just trying to be a capitalist. So, okay. Capitalism is okay, but do it in a good way. So this is a theoretical, let's say I have a friend. He's about 70 years old. Intermediate surfer at best. Won't go out in anything bigger than three or four feet. How does that friend get past this fear of stuff that's head high and more? How old is he? he's 68 years old you could still do it you have to want it first and foremost then i would recommend training very smart and if training hard is smart train hard too but more smart training than hard training and with bands is the best and free you know bands for ligaments and tendons, free weights or machines for bone mass and muscle mass and bone density, and then the breath work.

11:28But you got to be able to handle where you're going to take your body. And if you're physically ready, then there's much more chance and possibility to be mentally ready. And if you're physically and mentally and you're spiritually ready, then it just falls in place. you feel good about it. The best way to get over fears in the water is proper equipment. A really nice thick leash so the board and not too long. Now you have to weigh it out. Do you want that board close so you can get it really quick and get around the next wave? Or do you want a little further just so there's a little more room for between you and the wave so the board doesn't hit you?

12:05Or do you want it really far away from you but then you got to fish? so then you're not really surfing. You're fishing for your board every time you fall. I choose the shorter leash. I'm the first guy to ride thick, short leases in the world that I know about. Everybody, all the big wave riders, 10-foot leashes now. Everybody else was 12 to 15. I'm like, fuck, I see everybody fishing. I'm grabbing my board and I'm getting around the next wave. I went to Taiwan and built leashes way back in the day. Custom, the thickest leash ever made. It was too thick. It would rip your hip off and maybe your knee or your ankle.

12:35But it works. I used them for the stand-up paddles back in the day. And how long? The leash, the board, get a board that you're comfortable, that you can cruise around and don't go too short. Everybody's going so short and it's this big short board freaking craze. They're just too short. You got to find your balance. Everything is a balance. But the main equipment that he will feel very comfortable in bigger surf is a Patagonia or whatever flotation vest. You put the flotation vest under your wetsuit. It has a nice chest plate, which helps raise your chest so your neck doesn't get sore. It's really nice.

13:18I love the chest plates because you're raised up without raising up, so you have room to paddle, especially when you get older. Your neck gets sore, your shoulders, anything you can do to be more comfortable. The Patagonia vest is amazing. They're not my sponsor. They send me stuff when I need it, but I still stand that. Me saying that's the one, it's the one because they don't pay me any money. They're not my sponsor, but they're a good friend. They send me stuff when I need it. Pretty much anybody will send me things if I ask, and I just look for what I feel is the best. And the Patagonia vest or springsuit or short drawn or full suit, they have all four.

13:57but the the vest will make him for the waves he's surfing all he needs is the vest and every experience he has in the ocean from that day he puts that vest on forward will be comfortable so he'll be going bigger and you'll be like oh shit what did i do my friend he's out there 20 foot sun he's at sunset 15 foot oh now he's going to waimea oh my god are these the vests with the canisters in them no just inflate flotation oh okay and i highly recommend it for any surfer almost anywhere either make sure you have a really good leash that's not going to break which is the stay covered are the best stay covered big wave leashes are the best there's no better leashes and then the big wave leash the medium wave leash and the small wave leash are just like everybody else's but their big wave leash is the best the flotation there's a few different companies making them and then there's a few different companies making inflation but for what every average surfer can utilize one to be super comfortable two so they guarantee pop up if they black out somehow whether the board hit some or they hit the reef or hit the sand they're gonna pop up you don't even need a full flotation i back in the day before anybody cut my life jackets up glued them into my wetsuit and everybody's like there's all the guys like oh Garrett what's he doing he's crazy he's got flotation now they all got it I wasn't crazy I felt very confident because I have flotation I was going to come up sooner or later so I would go on any wave anywhere anytime it didn't matter if I was going to make it or not I was going so that made everybody think I was crazy geez okay for this theoretical 68 year old 5 foot 10 200 pound person right what length board to surf a 10 foot wave a 10 foot face yeah arrow has a freaking 7.6 that he made for jake davy that's thicker and wider.

16:06I rode it at Punta Canejo, and I was on top of the world. I was just so happy. I could turn. It was light. It was functional, and I could catch almost any wave I wanted. But he's not Garrett McNamara. No, but I have my shoulder. My shoulder doesn't work. He probably paddles better than me. I only paddle my 10.6 these days. I don't even paddle a shortboard ever. and that was a short board for me 7-6 it was 7-10 and a 7-6 they were both really good I want I'm I ordered a board just recently right in between both of them hopefully it's as good it's a 7-6 but the shape is in between the 7-6 and the 7-10 just conceptually is it 10 times harder to surf a 100-foot wave than a 10-foot wave or does it go up logarithmically?

17:0310 times harder. When you compound things like that, we were just with Rocco from Malibu who just moved to New Zealand and he was breaking all these mathematical equations down. It was just incredible. I was blown away that this pro skater turned skate revolutionary guy who's had all the biggest companies in skating. And he went to school on his own, I guess, after skating and learned freaking all the way to chemistry. And he was just breaking all the stuff down about the 5G and about the Hertz and the microwaves. And he knew every number and every equation. I was just blown away. Now, I have no idea if it's 10 times harder, but if you think about it, you're going a lot faster.

17:46There's a lot more consequence. Every wave is unique and you could get your worst beating. Like one of the worst poundings I've ever had in my life was at 25 foot faces at Waimea Bay, a 12 foot day just breaking. It took me so deep and I was touching the bottom and I had a skinny leash and I couldn't come up. Didn't have the new equipment we have these days and it was scary and that was the most scared i've been underwater but then i've had 50 foot 60 foot waves and thoroughly enjoyed it not scared at all just loved the pounding underwater but when you're actually riding i usually love my underwater rides more than above the water because they're just so exhilarating there's so much more there so you're at the mercy of the ocean you have no control and when you're riding the wave you have control where you're going to go and where's the exit and you can actually make the way when you're towing pretty easily if you get let off at the easy spot or you can get let off deep but run for the shoulder so 10 times harder you're going faster there's so much more water it depends on the conditions if it's smooth Cortez Banks and you got bumpy Nazare and if you got a 100 foot wave at Cortez and it's smooth and glassy and you have a 10 foot wave at Nazare and it's bumpy might be harder at Nazare the conditions are what dictate how hard it is the consequence of falling yeah it would be 10 times worse usually but like I shared that 12 foot wave gave me one of my worst pounding

19:42when people watch wipeouts and they see you bouncing three times at Mavericks and all that so you know they play it in instant replay they magnify you bouncing and all that then they show you being pulled out and recovering. But I want to know, once the wave pounds you and you're off the board and you're underwater, what exactly is happening? Are you just like in a washing machine? You're just thrown all over, you have no control or what's going on under the water? First you hit, hopefully you can prepare with a couple of breaths. most people just just breathe in one time if you have time you're coming down you see you're not going to make it you want to do a couple dump breaths as many as possible more the better like three three good dump breaths is good one works and that's squeezing all the air out and then do three dump breaths and then one full breath most people just go but you got your belly and you got your chest and most people don't take the last third of the tank throw your head back you get another third or another quarter tank of air you want to maximize the amount of air in your body before you go down and you want it to be fresh air not stale air that's just sitting in your belly you want all that stale air out and all the fresh air in oxygenated air and then when you're under, if you get hit super hard right out of the gas, you might get all the air knocked out of you, which happens to people.

21:22Then you're really vulnerable and it can be very challenging. But normally you can hold your breath. Normally you're underwater and you're spinning in every direction. You're going down around in this way, parallel to the bottom in circles, around up and down towards the bottom and above the surface and sideways every direction imagine you're in a washing machine on spin cycle and then for lack of a better person king kong grabs the washing machine and starts shaking in all directions and that's you under the water and the whole time you're trying to relax doing your best to relax not to use any energy but at the same time trying to stay in a ball keep your body your limbs in you retract your legs up a little bit try not to get ripped apart because it can rip you apart it can rip your arm apart it can rip your leg apart your growing your hip your yeah it's a very very uh vulnerable spot to be in normally it just shakes you really good and lets you go it's been my experience my god gary i surf two to three foot waves and I've fallen and being total disoriented and I'm like stroking and I'm trying to get to the surface and I'm actually going down and I hit my head and this is in a two-foot wave I just cannot imagine what happens to you at Nazare or Mavericks or Piaghi just it boggles my mind different animal yeah different monster everyone's so different as well and I know the whole thing lasted about six seconds but it seemed like half an hour I was underwater and I just it's really interesting if you can bring yourself to count one two you never really get over five to 15 seconds and that's easy for us and when you count you relax because you know oh it's one two you're totally relaxed but if you don't count then you can't really judge how long it is and you just feel like it's forever if you're not relaxing if you're relaxing you can handle it but if you don't relax and the funny thing is when the small waves that's when you get more exhausted because you're trying to get up you're on this little six foot face and you're trying to swim up but if you relax it's super easy but once you try like every year at the beginning of the winter when i was living full-time here in hawaii and i would travel a little bit in the summer the winter would come i'd go out a six foot swell would come and i'd go out and i'd get pounded and i'd think to myself how am i going to handle the big ones this year because I'm trying to swim up.

24:18But then when the big one hits you, you're like, okay, here we go. That's a life lesson right there. Garrett, I got to tell you, man, I feel like this is Garrett GPT, right? I can ask you all the questions I've ever wondered about surfing. You're my artificial intelligence. Okay. So can you just tell me how you physically train? Are you running laps? Are you carrying stones underwater and doing the Laird Hamilton thing? What's your physical training like? All of the training, there's so much good training now. There's so many different techniques and so many different teachers and so many different theories and methods.

25:00And I've trained sports specific. I train to be able to stay in the water and I don't do anything that I don't feel will enable me to stay in the water. And I don't overdo anything. and I love the bands. I love the weights. I've never was a swimmer. To be honest, I can barely swim. I can dog paddle easily to the beach and I love dog paddle. I love just like cruising. And I mean, if I got a sprint, I can throw in a stroke but I've never learned how to properly swim. Just recently, somebody shared with me a few things. He said, okay, I've swum down the beach. So I've swum down the beach and she said, okay, just do this and just do that.

25:43And there was, wow, big difference. I love getting pounded. The only time I swim is when I'm swimming to the beach to go get my board because I just wiped out. I do love cave diving. I love running with rocks. I used to do that every summer, all summer. If I wasn't traveling, I was running rocks and cave diving right in my backyard. Wait, what does running with rocks mean? Can you explain that? Where we do it, you swim down 40 feet with no fins, and you pick up a 50 to 100 pound rock and you run across the bottom as far as you can we would go 30 seconds to a minute but we would do distance and we'd see who could go further my buddy Ocone he and I were just like machines and they had a Red Bull rock running contest on the west side and me and Ocone I think I used to beat him mostly but we kind of battled each other but I'm pretty sure I beat him most of the time.

26:42He wasn't really a surfer. He surfed a bit, but he was a badass skateboarder, a Red Bull skateboarder. And they had the Red Bull thing on Makaha, and I was traveling. He went and did it. He beat everybody by 75 yards. So I was bummed I wasn't there to at least challenge him or maybe beat him. Wait, he beat everybody by 75 yards? or he's got 75 yards. 75 more yards than everybody. Holy cow. So like they probably all went like 50 and he went 125, something like that. So that's like saying he could run the length of a football field holding a 50 pound rock under the water 40 feet? Yes. Oh my God.

27:27But we would push it. We would push it so far that when you're coming up for that 40 feet, you got your full breath, but you're barely swimming up. your couple, couple strokes and glide and glide. And then as you're getting to the surface, I've numerous times, I saw the fricking black closing. I was almost passed out right as my lip. It was just like big wave riding. You see that right before you pass out, your lips come through and you get the air. Oh my God. Yeah. We pushed it. We loved it. I just saw him recently here in the Waipu. I haven't seen him in years. He's a beautiful human. Nice guy.

28:09Okay. So that's physical training. What about mental training? Okay. So more bands, weights, get a really good trainer who is really in tune with the symmetry of your body, knows your body, preferably somebody who actually works on your body. and they know about sculpting a body with different techniques and they can straighten you right out or they can share with you how to straighten yourself out and they can straighten you out, but you have to do the work. They can only do so much. They can put you in place and they can set you up and then you got to keep it going and change. And with a good trainer, everything's possible.

28:49Now, a lot of us love to do it ourselves and a lot of us work with a lot of different trainers and then go home and do it ourselves. I really like working with a group of guys or a group of girls. I like group training. But the biggest challenge with group training is you've got to leave the ego at the door. And the hardest part about group training for me is leaving my ego at the door. But it's really good. One-on-one or two or three-on-one is really nice when you're working out with your son or your wife or your brother or a couple people come by. big group the ego gets in there and all of a sudden you're running sideways with a weight and freaking throw your back out or throwing a kettlebell around and ruin your shoulder yeah you get ego man you just gotta leave it at the door when you're training you gotta train smart train smart and if training hard is smart train hard too okay so that's physical now what's the mental training regimen?

29:49I have to bring my body up to par with my mind. My mind's going to take me. I'm going to go. So I got to be ready physically. And if I'm not ready physically, that's when I'm a little afraid maybe, but I have a lot more patient, cautious. The best word to use is patient, but it might be a little more cautious, a little reserved, a little like, maybe I'll go. I'm not sure. I'll put you on some waves. But if my body's feeling good and I'm feeling good and the waves are perfect then i get i just recently at cortez and just recently here in hawaii i was like back to normal just frothing but i didn't want to be behind the wave i wanted to be right on the apex i wanted to be in the perfect spot normally i want to be behind it way behind 50 50 make it get the best ride of your life don't make it get a nice underwater ride But now I just want to make the waves.

30:42I don't want the underwater rides as much. I mean, I don't mind underwater rides, but the possibility of getting hurt is higher now. Maybe it's not higher. I just feel like it is after this darn shoulder injury. I swear like 20 % of 100-foot wave is you doing yoga and CJ doing yoga. So what's with that? Isn't that all mental training and stuff? Or is that physical? The meditation and the yoga is more for me to focus on being a good husband, being a good father, being a good human, figuring out what to work on for personal growth and focusing on that during the meditation and my mantras and to get flexible.

31:26But the meditation is more, yeah, meditation is just for personal growth. And with that comes spirituality and comes calmness. accomplished feeling. We're so caught up in our rat race where we all run around like freaking chickens without a head, without any real goals. We just go day by day. We have these visions or dreams or hopes or expectations, but we don't really write it on a paper. We don't really make a roadmap to achieve it. So we're aimlessly wandering all day. What's coming next? And maybe we'll plan for the next day or plan for the next week or even plan for the next month, but it's just like day to day.

32:04It's not like big picture. How do I become an amazing human? How do I contribute? How do I feed my family and do what I love? And then you make the plan of that and you focus on that every day. You look at that roadmap every day. Then you're like, you have a life of purpose. You know what you're doing. You know why you're doing it. You know what you can do to improve yourself what you can do to improve your relationship improve your parenting skills unfortunately people are inspired by the show which i'm the only reason we did it to try and inspire people and try and make a difference we told the producers we do not want to make a surf film we want to make something inspirational that helps people and it worked and now all of a sudden people are looking to me for answers i'm like oh my god i got so much responsibility now i just want You mean people like me?

32:56But I don't want caffeine, so what do I do? I want to go eat a pint of Haagen-Dazs, but I don't want this belly. What do I do? How do I do it? I love my acai, but I don't want to eat sugar. I know I want to turn back the clock. I want to biohack, get younger inside. And I just took all the tests to see where I'm actually at my age by all the tests of your internal everything. the saliva, the poop, the pee, the blood, and the brain. And we did all the scans. And so they're going to give us the results on the 14th of where I'm at, my age, my physical age, where it seems to be right now at 55. Am I 75 or am I 35?

33:46I want to reverse it wherever I'm at. I know I can do a lot better than I'm doing. So I'm going to work on that for the next year. Okay. Can you take us inside the dynamics of the team of surfer and jet ski driver? Like what's happening there? Is the jet ski driver picking the wave? What's happening? What's the interaction there? If you have a good partner, somebody that you prefer to work with and like working with, it's somewhat like a marriage and maybe the guy that you want to have driving you isn't the guy you want to hang out with on the land maybe you have different goals but that's not really a good way it's better to find somebody that you have the same values and same interests and same goals and work together to achieve whatever it is you guys want to achieve i love coddie more than anything he's given me my world record wave i've changed my life with nazare and was always there for me.

34:45Always. Then we went out to Cortez and he couldn't put me on the wave. And I lost it. I lost the plot. I was screaming and yelling. I'm 55. Cortez, how many times does a break a year? How many times a break every 10 years? If you're lucky, you get to surf it in a lifetime. I've been lucky. I've gone out there four times. I think I've surfed it three. That was the best waves I've ever seen. The best big waves I've ever seen in my life. Not the biggest, but the best. And he couldn't put me on the wave. The number one wave I wanted, we're towing at it. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. For some reason, he drove right over it.

35:28I lost the plot. It was the one that Lucas got, the big one that Lucas got. Lucas was like, go, that's your wave, go and we drove over it i lost my mind then we get here to maverick to hawaii to eddie's phone i've never seen a swell that strong from dawn to dusk with that much power and energy the whole day with the perfect northwest swell every spot was good from my house all the way to freaking cuckoo and we go to the biggest best spot log cabins i say okay i want to warm up couple so he told me at a couple just told me at a couple on the inside just told me at them he told me at the first one lets me go tour today don't make it to the wave told me at the second one let go tour he don't make it to the wave so I'm like you know what just tell me straight down the wave don't whip me at it just I want a big one just told me straight down the wave so this biggest wave I've seen of the day is coming at us and he goes full speed told me at it like out behind it and the bowl is here and now we're behind and I'm going full speed on the edge and I'm like about to drop in to I'm not sure what instead of just going straight down the wave and kicking out and letting me go where I want.

36:45And I just kicked out. Now I'm out by myself. There's a giant wave coming. There's no Cotty. He thinks I'm riding a wave. Luckily, I didn't get caught by the second one. That would have been really bad. And I lost the plot again. I was livid. I was so mad. I was like, this ain't no Mickey Mouse. And so that's when it's like a marriage. I hadn't been so excited to surf big waves in about since 2006. So almost 10 years. And he hadn't seen me so fired up at Cortez or here. And he said he couldn't handle the pressure of me wanting a big wave. And I'm just like, just put me on the wave. you got a jet ski you got a rope drive down the way what the fuck sorry for swearing but man i don't like reliving that it was not a fun scene i shouldn't have lost it but i don't have a lot of these days left how many days i never thought about that until twiggy every time i see twiggy oh i only got another year left i might only have one more year i gotta get it and i'm just like bro you got as long as you want and i was like oh fracortez i might not ever get that again ah and i'm like log cabins perfect nobody out i might not ever get that again ah and so i was like losing it how do you form this team then you just talked about some failures and you've been a driver too so you know this is a lesson in arguably management how do you form this team.