Episode 477:Jim Curtis: How to Rewire Your Brain, Break Mental Patterns, and Actually Change Your Life

24:22And I had to dig down into the muck and that's the belief that I found. And I had to find out how to like, oh, I had to forgive myself and love myself and like realize that I wasn't broken. How do you overcome confirmation bias. First, you find out, you bring awareness. Okay, what's the belief that I'm confirming? And two, you actively choose the opposite. It's like the Costanza effect. Have you heard of that? Can't stand you? No, no, no. That's a whole other thing. Costanza effect is like, I wrote this in one of my books, which is do the opposite. Okay, so George Costanza. Not George Costanza.

24:53No, George Costanza. Okay. Okay, because, you know, there was an episode on Seinfeld with George Costanza where he basically, you know, he's such a like life loser. That's the whole thing about George Costanza. But so one day he decides that he's going to do the opposite of everything he normally does to see what the success rate would be as opposed to doing everything else. Yeah. And so he basically did everything the opposite of what he did prior in every stage, in every walk of life. Professionally, then he got the job of the Yankees. You know, with women, he got a supermodel, like all these things.

25:28So he became extraordinarily successful with doing the opposite of what he would normally do. So it sounds to me like to get over your own confirmation bias. You do the Costanza effect. You do the Costanza effect. You do whatever the opposite is that you would normally do. Yeah. I think that's genius. Isn't it though? You should do that in your teachings and your learnings. I will, the Costanza effect. You should. I don't need the credit either. It's okay. I'll give it to you regardless. Oh, thank you, Jim. I appreciate that. I like that. So that's one of the mind traps. Give me another couple.

26:01Doubling down. Okay, so doubling down is like I have a belief, and there's some evidence that maybe that belief is wrong. Totally. This is happening a lot right now in the world. Yeah, but already I've invested so much into that belief that I'm like, I'm doubling down. I'm going to get defensive. I'm going to hold on to that belief because I can't possibly be wrong, so I'm going to double down. So that's another one. And how many are there? How many mind traps are there? There's lots. There's lots. We get into all sorts of mind traps. And so is part of the work trying to figure out what mind trap the person is doing?

26:41Yeah. So part of the work is what you figure out the mind trap you're doing. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. The person. And that's what I do in these groups. The first group is like breaking free. It's like, okay, let's look and bring awareness to all the bullshit that we think is real, but we've actually just created. Right, right. We're so certain that all this stuff is real. And it's like, oh, right. I created this because my father said, blah, blah, blah. It feels like a lot of this is, at the end of the day, the basics of self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and being stuck because of the self-doubt and limited beliefs.

27:18Yeah, totally. And not having the wherewithal, the awareness to say, oh, this is what's happening. And it's not, there could be another truth. I love that question. Like, is it absolutely true? I know that there is a woman who coined these questions, but my friend Doc Eamon had me in on his show. And he's like, and we're going through something and he's like, okay, let's run through this. Is this true? Could there possibly be any other truth? If there were like, how many other truths could there be? And therefore, is it true? And it's like, oh, okay. No, it's subjective. And therefore there could be other truths that are quite the opposite.

27:53And that's kind of how you, that's where you start. One is bring awareness of the thing, realize it's not true or could be another truth. And then you can start to dismantle it. And like, if I find this, people get so stuck, right? Like they're in their, in their belief system, like we're talking about. And it's really hard when something is like in your DNA to reprogram these thoughts. Right. So, I mean, how, go ahead. Were you going to say something? I'm not sure. I think it's really hard if you don't have the tools of the person to lead you. That's what I'm saying. So like, what's the process with it?

28:28Like if you, is it the self-awareness that you're like kind of speaking about? And like, what is the work? Because I think that like we get so stuck in like, you know, we get distracted by all these other things in life. Like, how do we move past that? And are these changes, can we actually make these changes that are forever? Like not just, you know, a lot of times, you know, we're going to diet and we do it for a week and then we like, we rebound. Or work out for a month and it's like, oh, I like my muscles. And then you're like, oh. And then you basically you rebound back to like your old ways.

29:00Have you ever had a realization that you're like, oh shit, that's a real realization. That's an aha moment. Have I ever? Yeah. A lot, all the time. And have they stayed with you forever? Yeah. But then, you know, I'm just going to be honest with you. I think a lot of times what happens is life happens. And then real life happens and people get back into what they normally do. Yeah. So I always ask this question to people who are like you, because more often than not, you're going to have a client like me, right? Where I'm super like, I'm really kind of like you were saying, my mind trap is like I'm set in my ways.

29:33Like, you know, it's really hard for me to really change. That's control. It's a control thing, right? And I can have all the self, not just me, I'm just saying, I'm using myself here as an example talking to you. But like you can have all the self-awareness in the world. but the execution is where you make the change. But not just execution once in a while, but consistently making these things. Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. But I think there's two distinctions. Okay. And one is this. The first one is just like the gym, you got to keep out this stuff. Yeah. Right? The second one is when you have a realization, it's forever.

30:05So if I was to say that the reason why you're stuck in your ways is because of control, because you need control, because there's a belief that you're not safe without it. And so if we go back to find why you're not safe without it, what was the impact of that original feeling of unsafety or not good enough? Because all your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe. It's all it wants to do. It's for your survival. It's the operating system to keep you living and alive. Sometimes it's malinformed. It's dysfunctions, right? You don't need to be safe from this thing. In fact, it's limiting you. Right.

30:37So we would go back in hypnosis, find out that thing that you felt unsafe for, that you need control throughout your life because it's protecting you from something, and we'd change it. Well, you just said that right now, Matt, the hypnosis, because we kind of said that at the beginning. Do people need these tools? Do you put people, like you became a master at this, right? A, how did someone become a master hypnosis? I don't know. And can you self-hypnosis? Can someone just do that on themselves? Or do they need somebody like you to do that? a light sense on yourself. You can. Yeah. And then someone, so you're asking how you do this.

31:12So the tools are to ask the provocative questions, to use NLP to start to change the mind and bring awareness, and then to actually get into the subconscious mind and use suggestion for someone's own highest good. So what that means is I'll listen to you. I'll listen to the words that you use. I'll see how your subconscious mind is actually operating, what the belief is, what your control belief is, what that... Can you find that? If you put me in like this hypnotist, if you can hypnotize me, do you find that out or do I... No, I'm already finding it out right now as we're talking. Oh, really?

31:43So when I hypnotize you... Okay. So part of this is someone who's really skilled at this, like a Tony Robbins we mentioned before, will be listening to every word you say and how you use it. And then when you go under hypnosis, that's when your mind relaxes enough that I can pose a suggestion that directly hits on that core belief that's limiting you and it will have a realization to change. And so that's like a surgeon with a scalpel. So some people can do really good and some people are okay. Really? Yeah. So how did you get really good at? I started in the beginning. I was always watching my father and figuring out how his mind works so I could stay safe.

32:23So that's why every issue, every trauma, every obstacle is for your highest good without this illness without this limp without this fear that i wasn't lovable without the abusive father like i would not have a laser focus ability to understand you and help you change and and i feel so fulfilled by that every time someone heals in my presence the energy of their healing and this is the woo stuff maybe the energy of their healing heals me i feel like i am growing by leaps and bounds this year. My energy, my healing, everything. Because you said the word identity a bunch of times before. Is it because you're helping people change their identity of who they believe they are?

33:05Yeah. There's two things. One, practical. Everything I do is practical and spiritual. So the practical identity is like, I believe I'm good enough for this. And if you believe that you can make a million dollars, like I met with a guy the other day, he's like, I believe that I can charge$15 ,000 an hour and I'm good enough for that. I can provide enough value for that and people pay it. And if you don't believe that that's possible, no one's going to pay you. And if you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you? Right? Yeah. Totally. But also, I didn't move from New York City for so long because I'm an East Village type of guy.

33:38I need a little edge. I need a little dirt. And that's also a belief in my identity, which is bullshit. I actually like warm weather. I know. You have to swim in nice pools. I thought that was too basic. I know. Exactly. That you're too beige. So then something happens. You see the realization that you can change. Yeah, the realization that you can change your identity. You can step into something new. Like your identity is just a program. And let's reprogram something else. Right? And then there's this idea started in the Bible, maybe even before it. It's St. Ignatius. It's called the Violet Flame.

34:16And it's called the I Am Discords. which says that Jesus himself was the I am, the creator. God's the creator. I'm not religious. I'm spiritual. But when we say God, there is something bigger than us, right? And so the I am discord say that, you know, within the presence of God, God is the I am. And God is experiencing itself through us. And we can't remember because you can't actually have your own consciousness if you remember that you're God. So consider this, just the chance of it. That God is experiencing itself through us. that God reaches down his fingers like we becomes people. And now we're walking around as people, right?

34:53And we're really the creator itself. And therefore, we can create through the I am. And practically, when we say I am something, it becomes something. But also, the more spiritual, the more encompassing, the more expansive thing is that we are creation itself. We are the I am itself. So like I am what? But I am, give me an example. Here's an example. Here's an example. Practically, I am stupid. Or practically, I am a divine creature that could probably learn anything. Or here's a more expansive example. I am the ocean in a drop. I am not the wave. I am the ocean. Right. That's a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

35:40You're the bigger of the, yeah. We think we're the wave. Right. Right. But we actually have the power to, we're bigger than that. But the wave is part of the ocean. We're not separate from things. Do you believe in manifestation? I do, yeah. You do? Okay. What's your definition of manifestation? If you just think about it, it will show up? Yeah, I believe we're manifesting everything. Like, I manifested this. I watched it on Instagram. We met 10 years ago. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to be on your show. I asked, I had, I think I reached out. Like that was manifestation. And if I have another belief that's bad, I manifest it, right?

36:16Right. Manifestation is the expression of intention and action that brings about a result. Okay, you just said the word action, right? So it's not just putting something on a vision board and hoping and thinking that it's going to happen. We have a reticular activating system that says in our minds that I'm going to go find that thing I see every day, right? All of a sudden, like you buy a yellow Jeep and you see lots of yellow Jeeps. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But no, absolutely. That's part of it. But if you're not taking action every day, like getting out there, hitting the streets, then that man's not going to show up in your living room if you've never left the house.

36:49So yeah, so the reason why I'm saying that is because manifestation seems very passive just in itself, but you have to add that action piece to it or else it's just in your head, right? Now, what about, what do you call it? Like when people have these like slogans all the time, they like repeat over and over again. The mantras? Not just, do you believe in mantras? Affirmations. Affirmations. You believe in affirmations? I believe that we're saying so many negative things to ourselves. Why not counteract it with a few positive ones every now and then? Right. The problem is you say you have three affirmations in the morning and at night, and you think you're doing something good.

37:21And throughout the rest of the day, you're saying, I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm dumb, I'm not lovable. Right. Well, I also think there's something to be said, and you tell me, what about just having affirmations if you don't truly believe it? I mean, isn't that kind of like an oxymoron? Yeah, like shooting a BB gun at a piece of steel. Well, no, or say like, I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful when I really think I'm ugly. Like, don't you really have to believe what you're affirming for it to actually be something that works? Yeah, I think so. Or it could be like, is your opinion that if you say it enough, you'll end up believing it.

37:57I think that you have to start to counteract any negative thought and affirmations help. Do I think they're like the silver bullet and that's all you need to do is wake up, do your 10 affirmations? No, I think that's like drinking green juice. You know, one green juice isn't going to heal you and then you go smoke some cigarettes. Right, it's a lifestyle. Yeah. Now you got to do it over and over again. Yeah, you got to do a lot. I was going to ask you more about hypnosis because I'm very fascinated by that. Is hypnosis mind control? Like, is that what you're doing? Are you mind, is it very simple?

38:29Hypnosis allows you to control your own mind. Now, there are stage hypnosis. What's that? Like a guy up on stage that will call up an audience and then make them act like chicken and that kind of stuff. Does that actually work? Yes, yes. Really? Has that ever happened to you? No. Oh, okay. I do more clinical hypnosis. No, I mean, have you ever been in the audience? I've seen it happen, yes. And it worked really? I know people that can do that. Yeah. But there's someone that, so we each have our different ability to be hypnotized. We go into hypnosis all the time. You're driving a car and you're thinking, you're watching a movie, you're scrolling on Instagram.

39:04Yeah. That's why Instagram in the news is so detrimental because you're literally scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and you become suggestible to all those messages. Right? That's why advertising is so powerful. They have a lot of blinking lights and then they tell you something and you're like, oh, maybe that's true. Maybe I am. Maybe I do need that skincare. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So there is different people and the person that is most hypnotizable, it's called a synambulist. They go in like that. And then they're like, they don't remember. And that's the person. You can tell by the way they flutter their eyes when they look up.

39:35And so a stage hypnotist will look for that person, call them up on stage, and then get them to act like a chicken. Really? So they're actually controlling them. But most hypnosis just allows you to have a little bit more of a grip on your own mind. So the kind that you do, is a person conscious while you're doing it? They're in a deep trance state. Which means, so they don't know what they're saying? They do. They do. They're not unconscious and they're not like out of it so much. That's not therapeutic. So we go into a deep trance state, which is like ultimate relaxation so your body can accept suggestions, but not so you're like waking up and go, where the hell is it?

40:13Really? Yeah. That's not it. How long does it take to get somebody in this trance state? Three minutes. That's it? If you do it to me right this second? Yeah. Seriously? Okay, do it. Okay. I'm nervous. What are you nervous about? I don't know. Yeah. Okay, what do I do? Do I just sit here? This is all you have to do. The interesting part about hypnosis is that you don't have to do anything. Because aren't you doing the work? No, you're doing the work. We're all doing the work. This is the only thing that you have to do. Okay. The only thing that you have to do is just put your hands like this. Put your hands up.

40:46It's really the only thing that you have to do. And now all you have to do is just literally listen to my voice. And as you look at me, also notice all the things that you can see out of the corners of your eyes. Just look right here. And as you look right here, just notice all the things that you can see in your peripheral vision. And as you do, you already start to notice your hands start to tingle a little bit. First on your right side and then on your left. So much so that as you listen to my voice, you may even be able to hear the hum in the background of the other things that are happening.

41:15And your body starts to sink just a little bit further. As you stare at that spot on my face and notice all the things you can see out of the corners of your eyes. And notice your hand starts to tingle on the left side. And you listen to my voice and notice all those other things. things, you may even start to notice that your eyes start to blink a little bit more as you start to go down, as you give yourself permission to just experience, as you give yourself just that permission to experience that one moment. Because in this one moment for a moment, we just have a moment. And every moment from moment to moment is like a breath.

41:45And as your breath gets deeper, it just goes a little bit further, further and further and deeper and deeper, more relaxed. And as you do experience that breath from moment to moment for this moment, then another moment, your eyes just get heavy and you relax. That's all it is. It's just to give permission to just have that relax. It's almost as like lead weights pull your eyes down, they become heavier until it's just easier and easier just to let them close. Sometimes, sometimes you just once in a while from moment to moment, having our eyes closed is so comfortable. Should I close my eyes? What did you feel specifically?

42:19You were fighting it. I was. I feel like if I wasn't on the podcast, like I felt pressure. So I was like more like, like on edge, but probably if I wasn't, I would probably just close. I would have closed my eyes and probably felt more. Yeah. There is, um, well, there is something called shock hypnosis that if I was holding your head, I could pull you, press your head and you'd like go down because they'd have to shut off your brain. Yeah. I felt like I was like thinking about like, oh my God. And then there are other times that like, so what I'll do with people, I'll go through that test, right to see whether they have resistance or not and then we'll start over again wake up and start over again and this is just a simple thing and until i find out your kind of technique and you can just give yourself permission just hold your hand up like this just for a second now okay yeah and i'm just going to tap on your middle finger and just stare at your middle finger that's all you have to do just for a second like this no i'm no just hold your hand up like that good and just stare at your middle finger and as you just stare at your middle finger may start to notice that your fingers start to spread naturally further and further as you.

43:19Yeah. That's weird, actually. But is that like, that is weird. You are resistant. I am. I'll get you. You know, I'll tell you a silly story. I don't know if you care or not, but I remember I got invited to go to this place called Rhythmia to do this ayahuasca retreat. Yeah, I've heard of Rhythmia. Okay. So I went like many years, like five years ago, whatever. And like, I was the only person they invited, I don't know, like 30 of us. And like, it's ayahuasca. It's It's like you drink this stuff. You know what I want. I'm sure you do. I was stone cold sober. Didn't feel a thing. That's your control.

43:51That's how powerful your control need is. Isn't that crazy? Yes. No. I mean, it's yes and no crazy. Yes and no crazy. It's so interesting that your need for control can override ayahuasca. I was stone cold. And if you know anything about the place, it's four nights. You're there for four or five nights. And every night it gets stronger and stronger and stronger. and it's me in a room full of 30 people. Everyone's barfing and going to the bathroom on me. I was like, it was so gross. And they don't let you leave. Like you have to stay in that area because it's like dangerous, I guess, if you wander around.

44:27And it was from like, I guess, nine o 'clock at night till six in the morning and nothing was happening to me. And I was like, oh my God, when can I get out of this place? It was unbelievable. But that's because I was like, I don't know why. I guess my brain is just not allowing me to do that. And I think I can't be the only one that happens to. No, I think there is some people in the world that psychedelics just, they have the genes that psychedelics don't. No, no, no. I'm not saying that, but I'm saying that, that have that hard control. Yeah. Probably what it was is that your need, your drive for control is so strong that it just had the power to over, like the mind-body connection is amazing.

45:02It literally had the power to override the ayahuasca. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had clients like that before? There's always a way. There's always a way. So sometimes it takes longer. Like I'd have to work with you and figure out how you'll release that control. I noticed when I said you can give yourself permission that you sunk down just a little bit. Only because I felt I had to because I was like being looked at. Like I felt like, you know what I mean? Like I felt that was like what I had to do. But your need for control is like a really strong drive. And what would it be like if you didn't need to have that control?

45:32No, I think, well, what I think is what I would find interesting is in like with people who have type A personalities who really need the control. There has to be like something that you guys do, you or whoever, to like break through that. Because I cannot imagine I'm the only type A person in the world who's unable to like release that control, you know? No, you're right. There's a lot of things that we can do. Yeah, not just with me, but I'm saying in general. In general, in general, right? Yeah. And so would you say a lot, like you work with, I would say like, how does this help people get over trauma, right?

46:07When it's so deep seated in them? Yeah, you can. A lot of times what I'll do is kind of call it quantum leaping. Like we will go back and experience like we'll go back in a relaxed state and experience that point of trauma again and we'll reframe it because it's no longer happening. The only place it lives in our memory. If you change that memory a little bit, so you change the outcome. So there's a woman that like had this issue with her father and like really scary, really abusive, really crazy issue. And we went back and changed that experience, that memory. And then she couldn't remember it any other way.

46:42Things got a lot easier for her. And I've done that a bunch of times where people have this kind of like memory of something. We can go back, quantum leap back into where that memory exists is in your mind and change it. So it has an outcome that you would want. Wow. Yeah. Have you heard of something called somatic healing? Is that similar? Somatic healing is like movement through your body. Oh. Yeah, which is awesome. But this is more of a hypnosis type of trance work.

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48:50so besides the fact that you had this injury that kind of made you feel you're not lovable has there been anything else that kind of put you on this path of self healing and transformation i don't know what it was i think i've just been made for it i think that we find our way yeah like i think it's just destined because you had this injury when did this happen to you I was 21. Right. And you didn't naturally just go into this, right? No, I think it was my upbringing, my father, all those things, right? And then I think that another woo-woo thing, but I think that... Okay, you can tell me the woo-woo things.

49:27Just explain it. Yeah, I believe that there's a book, Many Lives, Many Masters, and I studied with this guy, Dr. Brian Weiss. And he talks about, you know, kind of past lives. And like that we travel and the Buddhists believe this too, that we carry karma and karma. That's my Boston accent. We carry karma through your lifetime. And I think that sometimes you're just meant for things. Like, how could you possibly be as good at what you do, right? Every time I see you, you're getting younger and more fit, like leading more and more people. Who are you talking to? Ed? I was kidding. There's something that is meant that is like in the stars, written in your spiritual DNA.

50:05So you think some things are just destined? Yes. So you believe in destiny? Yes. Really? I believe in a lot of that. I also believe that, I also believe, yeah. Now tell me, tell me, don't just stop. I believe in past lives. I believe that I've been traveling this path for quite some time. Really? Yes. And that you kind of just like took a pit stop in the VC world. I think that it was always in health though. It was actually. Yeah. You also, I remember, you know what I remember about you? You opened up like a next health, I don't know what you call it. You had like a spot. Modern sanctuary. Yeah, modern sanctuary.

50:42And it was saunas. Yeah, salt baths. Salt room, a Himalayan salt room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I've always been in health and mindset. Yeah. And so there was a past life where I was a shaman. You think so? That's what I experienced when I was regressed into it. Really? Hold on. How did you regress into that? It's through deep state of trance. And you remember yourself being in the... I remember myself being a shaman. Yeah. So then like, by the way, whatever happened at that place, Modern Sanctuary? COVID killed it. That's right. And what was it? It had the salt bath, the salt? It had a 10 ,000 pound Himalayan salt room.

51:23I totally remember that now. You told me about that. What else did it have? Anything else in there? It had all the longevity stuff. It had crystal healing sound beds and then it had red light. And we had like PMEF. Everything. All the good stuff. Like you had the best stuff I remember. Yeah. So yeah, you were really doing a lot of different modalities in health, wellness, longevity for a long time. I still do all of the biohacking. You do? I try to, yeah. My sister opened a place called The Parlor, which Next Health moved into. Oh, really? In New York? In New York. Okay, and what's The Parlor?

51:59The Parlor is a large space in New York City. It's that basically beauty experts and biohackers go and work out of. And so Next Health has space there with a big space there that they set up with HBOT and all the good cryo and all this stuff. You still do all that stuff? Yeah. So every time. So I will see some people in person. And then when I go to my sister's place and I'll just go into the Next Health playground. Makes me feel so good. But I think that when you get your body optimized, like then you like you can almost free your mind. I think I think that all of this stuff goes hand in hand.

52:43Right. When you take care. Well, but not always. I know a lot of people take care of themselves physically, but then mentally they're just completely like they're not interested. But I think part of like I think as you get old for me anyway, I think as I get older, I want to expand. I want to know more. I want to grow more. It's like the whole personal development is like knowing how you can learn and push more, push, not push more, but push through your own self and like your own limitations. But I'm interested, like what kind of deep work or what kind of deep trance were you under hypnosis when you thought and figured out that you were a shaman?

53:20Yeah. Really? Yes. And in fact, this guy who wrote the book, Dr. Brian Weiss, he's like the most famous name for this. For this stuff? Yeah. He wrote a book called Many Lives, Many Masters, and he actually regressed me. And what happens when you, okay, so now that you know that, what does it do for you? Like, what does that mean? It's just, it's another puzzle piece? Exactly right. Yeah. It's another puzzle piece. He wrote, in his book, what he wrote with the patients that he had, they were like overcoming fears and phobias in this life because they understood that like they drowned in a past life.

53:51And for me, it didn't do anything. It didn't. Nothing. It just, you woke up And you went for lunch and got your brie juice. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Yeah. So now this is what you do. So do you have a whole client list? Do you see people one-on-one? Do you do groups? What's your thing now? I do groups. So what I found is that people really are attracted to this. And whether they know it or they want personal development, right? And they go to the Joe Dispenza's and the Tony Robbins and whomever it is. but they're always in a group of like 12 ,000 people. So many, yeah. Right? People love Joe Dispenza.

54:30I like him. You do? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know him, but I like him. But you like his work? I've done some of his retreats. You have? Yeah. Some of my friends who've gone to these retreats of his say that they've been literally transformative. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy stuff happens. Yeah. But do you think that someone has to be at a certain place in their life to even be? Yes, you have to choose it. 100%. Like you can be, if you are skeptical, if you are closed off, it's like hard to penetrate that wall, right? Yeah. And so I run these groups and they're small so that I can give people personal attention and like so you can actually have real healing.

55:14And the people that join these groups, they're open to it. Open to it. Right? You have to be. I can't grab someone that is like not open to it and they're not ready for that level of expansion. Yeah, exactly. That's not the crew that I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who is experiencing difficulties and realizes there's the potential for something more by going deeper into something that they can't see. And you say it has to be consistent work, right, for healing. Part of it. What are the, besides, okay, so we know the self-awareness, we know you've got to do it consistently, you've got to be consistently doing it.

55:49What is the work that people can do on their own to help heal themselves? Yeah, so exercise is one of those things. Yeah, you said that. Right? For sure. 100%, you know this. What comes first, the mind or the body? One or the other. They're both as a mind-body experience. So exercise, but meditation, but not just simple meditation, like trance work or I really like deep trance work or hypnosis. That's another thing. If you don't do it once and it's done, you keep going. And you have realizations, then you can do shadow work. which shadow work is like you didn't tell me what that is all right shadow work is like i have all like my shadow came out with that story that i told about the envy and the jealousy envy and jealousy are your shadows you're never getting rid of your shadow right ever do we all have envy everybody has a shadow i don't know maybe yours is guilt or shame i don't know how do we find what our shadow is it's the results that you have in your life so um let's say if you're in a love relationship.

56:46And you're super jealous of whomever your partner's ex-partner is, or they can't even go out to dinner. And if they speak to someone that's of the opposite sex, you freak out. So that fear, one that's fear of abandonment, all the things, those are your shadows. And it's like, okay, I recognize that's in me. I recognize that I was jealous of that guy doing really well. And that's my shadow. And so you're never going to remove your shadow completely, but you can integrate it and say, oh, I remember you. Right. And that's okay. That's okay. Give me another shadow. Okay. It's all the negative things, all the negative things.

57:28Sometimes like if you're confronted and you're out of control and you like become like totally a jerk, complete, you know, like a really like unkind person, right? That's one. So what would be the shadow? You're just your unkindness. Yeah. The shadow is based on your fear of losing control. You become impatient, unkind. And so you can like, you can like one, not have any awareness of that or feel guilty afterwards that you did that. Or you could say, listen, I know that this comes up in myself. It's my shadow. I'm going to make friends with it. I love you. That's okay. Yeah, exactly. That's okay.

58:04And then you continue on and it diminishes. Like it becomes less of a control over you. Because you're saying once you're aware of it, it diminishes. If you work on it. Another shadow may be like, okay, you go on a date, you have sex with someone and then ghost them. So if you know the shadow, you work on it. I guess I'm always coming back to the actionable, practical, how do you work on it? Because I think, okay, most people are now at the place where they can at least recognize. I mean, they're self-aware enough to know what their shadow is. Okay. Besides exercise because that's not going to, you can't exercise away your shadow.

58:41Yeah. You're working on it one way or another, whether you're like smoking cigarettes, watching TV and drinking, or you're like, oh, this just happened. It created a difficult emotion in me. And I'm going to examine that. I'm going to journal about it. I'm going to think about it. And then I'm going to commit to changing or diminishing it. And that's like through acceptance. So unfortunately you can't do pushups for it. Right. You can't do pushups. It's like all mental. Yeah. Or just do the Costanza effect, which is just do the opposite of what you normally would do. I love it. Bring it back. I think we should bring it back.

59:13I think we should do a whole mastermind on it. I think you're right. We could do it together. We could. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to be that part. I'll bring that part into it. I love it. I love that. So basically, it's self-awareness, recognizing what it is. Building self-awareness, recognizing, yep. And trying to do the opposite or stopping yourself from doing that same pattern. Acceptance and then active change. Acceptance. Yeah. Recognizing self-awareness, acceptance of it. Instead of being like, oh my God, I hate myself or I hate you. Where all that stuff is just like, all right, I get it. It's here.

59:50All right, fine. Right. Love you anyways. You're a jerk. Love you anyways. Exactly. Okay. One more question and then I'm going to let you go. Okay. Can you talk about the power of gratitude? We all hear the word. It's a very hashtag friendly word, right? Why is it such a hashtag friendly word? I think a lot of times people say have gratitude, be grateful, but it's like basically a platitude if you don't really mean it. What happens when someone does show and feel gratitude? I know it happens like in myself. I know it happens in the people that I work with. You know, things immediately lift. When you look at what you have instead of what's missing, I mean, you can feel that change immediately when you're grateful for, you know, it's like looking at the outcome you want versus when you don't.

1:00:38So I think, yeah, we talk about it a lot because it's an easy thing. So, and I feel like this is the problem. I think people like hold on to these like low hanging fruit, like these very like hashtag friendly words, but there's no meaning behind it if you don't actually do it they don't most people don't do it yeah and it seems like um it's like body positivity but everyone's not body positive for themselves you know or drink more water and it's like how's that actually going to help me yeah exactly i mean i know why it's important exactly i think gratitude i think gratitude is like drink more water i like that so if you actually drink eight glasses of water a day you'll see your skin and your body and everything change right that's true so you got some so your point is like you have to actually do the thing to see what the result is and to get the benefit from it yeah if you like be grateful and then they do nothing to be great and then you don't like then you're not happy with anything that you have like so what i what is be happy with what you have not with there's a whole saying behind it i don't remember it but yeah i think that's part of it like implementation i that's where i get i get very hung up on right people can say whatever they want to say, but then they have to implement to have any of the real benefit.

1:01:49I agree. And it's like, okay, so the gratitude practice is like writing three in the morning and three at night. And it's like, oh yeah, that's like doing three pushups in the morning and three at night. Yeah. It's like then throughout the day, every time a negative feeling comes up, you need to switch to gratitude. That's what builds the muscle. Do you know what I like about people like you? Even like, this is where I think as I'm talking to you and I'm thinking like, how does this actually work in real time, in real life? I think having someone like you as a coach or something, it's the accountability aspect too, right?

1:02:21Like you become accountable to yourself to make better decisions, do better behaviors for yourself. Because it's like a constant reminder, you know? Like this is something like someone like you. I'm just trying to think of how it works with people who are like strong-willed and da-da-da-da. It's like you're a good balance and a reminder for people. Like, you know what? Like, make sure you're aware. Make sure you accept it. Like maybe, and then you do these like tweaks with the hypnosis. And these are all like tools, right? Like the sauna. It's all tools. You know, they're all just tools that help you get to what you need.

1:02:56Like, even if you're just a little bit better, like it's not about being a hundred percent healed, but if even if you're like 2 % healed, this person's zero. Who's ever healed? I don't think, I mean, God left. I mean, I can't imagine. But even if you're 1 % healed or 2 % healed, it's at least better than 0%. Yeah, every day, one step. That's it. Right? Every day, one step, mind and body to a much better. That's you take one step and the next step follows until you're in a much better life. I think that to me is like what my takeaway is. It's like having people around, or like you, who remind people that they can change their belief system, their identity, and they can become unstuck.

1:03:37Even if it's like uncomfortable, but like it's a good reminder of how to do it. My goal is only to just open, if I can just open up thought and the... The NLP part I think is really good. Yeah. Open up the potential for just some small shift to greater. That's it. That's all I need. So, Jim, where do people find you? Jim Curtis 1. I have a group starting soon. Probably not when this comes up. So, Jim Curtis 1 is a great way to find me. You can buy my books on Amazon, Shift, and the Stimulati Experience. And I'm on TikTok and stuff, but I mean, Instagram's the best. Instagram, TikTok, Jim Curtis 1.

1:04:16How big are your groups, by the way, when you do what you said? I'll keep it in with 35 people. 35 people. Wow. That's a lot of people. And where do you do them? They're online. They're virtual groups. Oh, they're all virtual groups. Yeah, but we'll meet in person once, usually in New York City. So people come in from all over the world. You can do it at the parlor. Yeah. It's not big enough. I mean, the parlor's huge, but the rooms are divided up. Are small. Yeah. Well, thank you. And the book side - Hey, I want to just say one thing. Yeah. I'm really grateful for you. Why? Why did you just say that?

1:04:47Because I think that you shared your energy with me and you allowed me on the show. And like what I had in this experience is like, I like you a lot and I'm grateful for you. Oh my God, you're so sweet. Did you say that to everybody after the podcast? No. I feel the same way. You're such a sweetheart. I'm so happy you came on the show. You know, and I don't, like I said this earlier, like a lot of these things I feel are like above my pay grade in a way. Like I don't quite understand it. I so desperately want to try, because I'm so wrapped up in like practical, practical, real, real, real, like tangible, tangible is the word I was looking for, that when I meet people like you who really, really are doing it in an authentic way, it really, like I can feel myself getting closer to like understanding it.

1:05:34The problem is I find a lot of people are, are snake oil salesmen in this business and they are not doing it for the right reasons, or they're not living the real, like they pretend, but they're not really living that way. So when I meet people like you, that's why I said, I'm really happy that I met you and you came on this show because you really are genuinely that person. I can feel it in my gut. Oh, thank you. It's true. And you look like John Stamos, so it doesn't hurt either. But that's a whole other story. But thank you for being here. I do. I really appreciate it. Thank you. You're welcome.

1:06:15Thank you.