Episode 537: Patti Stanger: Why Modern Dating Is Broken, Red Flags, and the Commitment Crisis

20:39Patti Stanger:Well, one of them, yeah, they didn't make it themselves. One of them was like on the cusp, but never got there. Okay, so wait a minute. But how did you become a matchmaker? What were you doing before? Oh, my grandmother and my mother were matchmakers. And when I was 16, I loved this boy in school. He was like the hottest guy, but a badass. And I don't want to say his name, but he was Catholic. And so they would go to these Christchurch dances on Friday night. Me, the Jewish girl, got all my Jewish friends and go, come on, because those were the hot guys. And we went to school that day and planned our escape from our parents, because God forbid they find out.

21:14Patti Stanger:Nice Jewish girl going to a church. And I got busted by the priest, who was actually hot. And he said to me, come in the back. And he's smoking a cigarette and he's drinking his wine. He says, you're not supposed to be here. None of us had Jewish star necklaces or anything like that, but you knew. And he goes, what are you here for? And I said, well, I like this one boy. And he's like, you could do better. And I had done something really smart. I'd taken the boys on one side and the girls on the other side. And I brought them together. And they started dancing and talking. He had never seen this at a dance because he could never get them together because they wouldn't listen to him.

21:43Patti Stanger:And he goes, I can't believe you did that. And my best friend ended up marrying the guy at the dance. They lost touch with each other. And then years later, they connected and they got married. It was kind of a cute story. Wow. And so I told him I had a crush on this boy. And he said, oh, you could do so much better. He's so bad. Like, he's derelict. He basically was, but a hot derelict. Really, like a Brad Pitt, legends of the fall derelict, you know? Wow, okay. And he was always on my bus and looked like stoned out of his mind. And so he said, I'll tell you what, I'll let you come here every Friday if you could get the boys and girls to dance every week.

22:17Patti Stanger:And I did. And that's how you started? That's how I started. But my mother always said I was going to be a matchmaker. And I was like, never, never. because my mom, my mom was married one time. I was born already and he basically cheated on my mother, very Mrs. Maisel. And my mom left him. She went back to go live with my grandparents. And my grandmother was like, what would we say? Nobody gets divorced. It was like a time went over. And so my grandmother trained her to meet her next husband who ends up raising me and my dad. And the phones went off. Like, you know, like everybody was calling my grandmother, fix me up, fix me up, teach me what to do.

22:52Patti Stanger:because everybody was getting divorced. It was like the 70s and everybody was getting divorced. And so then the rabbi called my grandmother and said, come on, I need your help. Like, what are we doing? Because all the husbands were leaving their wives for younger secretaries. Wow. And so that's how you became a, so then how did the show happen? The show happened because I worked for Great Expectations and I ran this big company. It was nationwide. Tell people what it is. I don't think most people would know what it is. It was the first original dating service, like a dating service. It was like Match.com before Match.com went online.

23:23Patti Stanger:And I worked. How did it work, actually? I don't remember. You'd go into the office and you'd pay like$5 ,000. And then you'd swipe through pictures and videos. And it was based on mutual consent, kind of like Match. And I would tell them what to do and what not to do. And they never listened to me. And when Match went up, I was like, we should be online. We should be the Soho House of dating before Soho House went up. And they didn't listen to me. So anyway, I worked there. And then I was engaged. and my engagement broke off and I couldn't look at anything in Florida. I was living in Florida.

23:53Patti Stanger:I was like, oh my God, that's where we had dinner. That's where we went swimming. That's the gym we went to. Like I was devastated. So my mom's like, you went to film school. Here's your chance to get to Hollywood and break into the business. So I go, okay, I need an adventure. And off I flew to California with a dollar in my pocket, knew one person and lived in the marina. And I, my cousin lived here and she was producing movies. She's like, good luck getting in the business. Now look at me. And so I was always like, yeah, watch me. I was that girl if you watch me. But I had a friend who said to, I made a new friend and she was doing this millionaire thing with dating.

24:32Patti Stanger:And then she's like, oh, I could do it better. And she's like, well, don't, you're never going to be able to do it because it's never going to work. So I would go to matchmakers that I knew in town because I knew a couple of them and they would fix me up. And for every Gentile boy, I like Gentiles and I'm Jewish. and I gave two Jewish boys to them. They'd give me a Gentile date and they sucked at it, sucked at it. And all the daters would complain to me that how bad it was. I went on one date with one guy who really liked me and he said, oh God, you're exactly what I want. He was a Mormon and he was cute, but he wasn't my type emotionally.

25:04Patti Stanger:So he said, what if I give you money? You could fix me up. Ding, ding, ding. Had credit card debt, needed money to live on. I said, okay. And my mom's like, charge 10 grand. She gave me the price. I'll never forget that. And I said, what? And so I took him like shopping over Beverly Hills, redid his wardrobe, decorated his house in Hermosa. And he had a truck that he wouldn't give up. And it smelled like fish. And I kept saying, you need, I don't care if you get an SUV, but you need a nice one, like a Porsche. Took him to the Porsche dealership. He got it. Fixed it up with his first girlfriend.

25:37Patti Stanger:Turned out to be his wife. Got married. Tell 10 friends and my business. But the first person I fixed up with was somebody of Muslim descent, unfortunately. And he met his wife on that first date and canceled the check. And from that moment, I changed the industry. Nobody takes a check. We all take wire transfers now. Really? Because I changed the entire industry. Because credit cards, you get chargebacks. And if you give a check, somebody could cancel it. So wire transfer, then you fix them up. Really? I learned the hard way. So how much do you charge? I charge$150 and up. $150. $150 ,000 and up, yeah.

26:11And what do you get for$150 ,000?

26:12Patti Stanger:You get unlimited dating based on a period of time that we think is appropriate for you, plus a full service staff. And you get my number, my business partner, Bonnie Winston, who's in New York. We have an office down on Wall Street. So you're getting a nationwide plus Canada, and we also do international as well. And how do you find the people? We have our resources. I can't give you my recipe, my trade secrets, but I will tell you, we have boots on the ground. We have the largest database in the business. And everybody knows. I mean, if I make a text message or a DM, someone's responding.

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28:13Are you guys using Instagram to find men and women?

28:17Patti Stanger:Men are not Instagram. We use that for women. Men are in sports networks. Like what? Give me an example. Golf. We're connected to a lot of country clubs, a lot of hotels with concierge, high rollers in Vegas. We deal with the one percenters. Yeah. So we're dealing with ski resorts. We're dealing with like St. Bart's, although that was crazy this weekend. A lot of people couldn't get out. We deal with high-end concierge services such as airports, you know, like private airlines. So when you say you deal with, what do you mean? We deal with the people that work with those people. And we deal with people who know people who know people who know people who know people.

28:52Patti Stanger:Private clubs. There's 17 million private clubs going up every minute right now all over the country. And we deal with, we know where the men are. Like we know boots on the ground where the men are. So are you finding dates for yourself? I don't date my clientele. I have a rule. So I have a hard time with that. So you have to fix me up. Yeah, I will. And LA is not that easy. I mean, we usually take the LA girl and make her go to Arizona. Really? Arizona is a hub for that. A lot of golfers, a lot of retirees, a lot of wealthy men. Yeah, or we'll go to Montecito, you know, Santa Barbara. When you say go to, like, are they moving there?

29:27Patti Stanger:In other words, like, I don't recommend, like, I don't recommend a woman over 50 dating in L.A. proper. We might get every so often, but I will redirect her somewhere else. When you say that, do you want them to move somewhere else? No, the men will come to them, yeah. But, no, you say, like, they should go to. In other words, like, I don't mind dating a guy from Scottsdale because I love Sedona and Scottsdale. But how do they meet? They meet through us. Through dating. We concierge and arrange the date. Got it. Okay, so we— We do everything. You don't have to—it's basically put your lipstick on and go.

29:59Patti Stanger:That's all it is. And we do everything. Now, on the men's side of it, I mean, I just had six different men just join today, actually. Like, big ones. Like, one celebrity you would know. And so I'm doing everything for him. He charged—I charged him$3.50. So I'm doing like everything. Like his assistant is licking my ass because she cannot believe that I'm doing everything where she's been doing what I've been doing for years. Like, you know, going to a Vegas party and trying to find five girls from him. And I'm like, stop that nonsense. I have to look under the hood of the car. I'm also psychic.

30:32Patti Stanger:I was born psychic. I read vibration. That's what you saw on the show. I'm like looking at people's energy. I have guides. I talk to them. So I'm looking at a lot of other stuff that we're not just doing surface stuff because it has to be a match on both sides. So I've got to look at what's his lifestyle like? How does he treat women? Do I have to change some of his behavior? At the same time, can that woman go at his pace? Like if he's the millionaire and she's going to drop everything for him, is there a balance or is he going to use her? Like there's a lot of stuff I look at because I want the women protected too.

31:04Patti Stanger:And when it comes to the millionaire woman, I'm trying to get equal or better for her. So it's a little different. So for 350 - And I do gay, by the way. You do. Yeah, I just don't do trance because I don't really know how to do that. So if someone's paying you$350 ,000, what do they get for$350 ,000? What do they don't get for$150 ,000? Okay, so$150 ,000, you would get one person below me, a matchmaker that I've trained. They've been certified by the Matchmakers Institute as well as me. We have a millionaire training certification program. We don't just go, hey, I'm a matchmaker. There's plenty of those out there.

31:37Patti Stanger:I actually am training them from the ground up, like as though my grandmother's secret recipe. And then if it's me, you're paying more money to get me because you want me on call. You want to talk to me. You want to vent. I had a guy last week who fell in love with my first girl I fixed him up with. And I said, don't call it in. Don't make her exclusive just yet. Let's see what else. Because I wanted him to go on two, three more dates. Well, he went on a plane and he met someone. And he goes, I don't know how to do this. He's like awkward, a little bit on the spectrum, but handsome. So I said, I'm going to tell you what to say.

32:08Patti Stanger:And I became Cyrano. And I went in his texts and I basically did all the texts. Yeah. And he got a date with the girl and he went on two dates and I arranged the third date for him. So I'm concierging inside the service as well, outside the service, because my goal is to get you into the best love relationship of your life. Like if God said to me, what is your one wish? I'd say everyone has their soulmate in humanity. He'd go, but you're out of business. I'd be like, that's okay. That's why I'm here on the planet. And I'm okay with that. I work for God. And do you like doing it still? Yes and no.

32:39Patti Stanger:It's difficult. You were talking to me about your boobs for babes or babes. Oh, babes for boobs, yes. Babes for boobs. And it is an exhausting job. It is not easy. It is not for the faint-hearted. You deal with personalities. You can't even imagine screaming, yelling, violin, blah, blah, blah. I am like a therapist, a psychic, and a matchmaker rolled into one. Like, it's a lot of work. But I'm used to it, and it's like breathing. Like if I was at the grocery store and I saw, oh, my friend's in the grocery store and that guy's in the grocery store, I'd put them together. It's just auto. You know, I'm an auto pilot.

33:12Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the same way though. I feel like my track record's been pretty good actually with it. That's amazing. Yeah, and I do it because I like it.

33:18Patti Stanger:And I want more matchmakers. I wrote a book called Become Your Own Matchmaker in Amazon. It was a bestseller because I wanted other people to do it for themselves as well as their friends and family. Well, I think the number one thing is not to be, like you have to be bold. You have to be proactive. You've got to be proactive. But, you know, we're like animals, you know, in the wild. When we want to mate, there's a smell and a signal they send out, right? We're the same way. You know, we have pheromones. The problem is, is the men walking across the bar to ask you out because of COVID, because of the Weinstein effect, because of Me Too.

33:52Patti Stanger:Like, they're afraid. They're chickens right now. They're very afraid. Like, you're going to cancel them. You're going to say something online. You know, there's a group now called, are we dating the same guy? and putting people's pictures up and destroying their image. But sometimes it's worthy. Sometimes it's some jerk who's, you know, going out and hurting women left and right, and they deserve it. But not everybody does. And it's male and female, by the way. So it's a scary time to date. It's not easy. I think it is a scary time. I wouldn't want to be a guy right now. No. I mean, it's better now than it was maybe a year ago, but it's not great still.

34:25Patti Stanger:But also, it's also unrealistic. We've got men looking at Instagram with these perfect-looking filtered girls. Yeah. And we're going, what? I can do that? And I'm a zero? Like, it's the only town where a zero can get a 10 and think he can still do better. Well, the problem is there's so many ways now for people to, like, access dating. Yes. Where I feel that people are not taking that dating seriously. It's all, like, situationships at any age. Yeah. Like, people just, they can scroll to the next person. This is the thing. If you're, like, my old assistant ended up with her situationship, but it was two years of heartbreak.

34:58Patti Stanger:And he had left the country, come back, moved in with her. I mean, I don't recommend this because of what the roller coaster she went. And there's damage to the brain and the body and the mind, you know, for what happens when you go and allow someone to abuse you. So your bar should be your bar. Like, in other words, stop allowing these people, male, female, gay, straight, to abuse you. Okay? Yeah. If the guy doesn't love you, get over the fact he doesn't love you. Work on yourself rather than trying to get the guy to love you because it's not— Even if he does come back, he's going to do it again.

35:35Patti Stanger:He always is going to test you. It's his nature. It's the scorpion and the tortoise. You know that story, right? Yeah. You want to tell that story? You're the guest. So the scorpion and the tortoise. The scorpion, you know, says to the tortoise, can I have a ride across the river? And he's like, I don't know. You're a scorpion. And he's like, no, no, I promise I won't sting you. And of course, he takes them across the river. And what does he do? He stings them. It's his nature to test you and abuse you. And if you allow it, he will keep on doing it. Do you think there's any type of variation in men, like some men who are more noble than that?

36:11Or do you think across the board?

36:12Patti Stanger:A lot of times what I found in my relationships, the minute I was done in my brain and in my body, not so much like I took the action to block and whatever, But the minute I felt that, oh my God, I'm over him. Like you run into him and you're like, I went out with him? What the hell was I thinking? Now you know you're over it. They fall in love with you. They call you. They won't. Why is that? My ex is like, please, you're the only one. I want to marry you. And you've all seen him on TV. And I'm like, yeah, not happening. So why, that's 100 % accurate. I see that all the time. But why is that?

36:45Like energetically?

36:46Patti Stanger:The whole time he was with me, he didn't treat me great. Now he wants me to want to marry you. What psychologically? Psychologically. Because psychologically. How do they even know? Men are programmed to hunt. How do they know if you're not having any contact? Okay, think of this. The hunter's hungry, right? He's trying to kill Bambi in the woods, right? But Bambi's like, I'm not going to let you have me. I'm not going to let you have me. And he gets hungrier and hungrier and hungrier until he can't handle it anymore because he's got no food. You are his source of energy. You are the muse. You are the one that gives them.

37:17Patti Stanger:Women give the life force. We birth. It's all natural. So if you think about it, they need the light. They need the light from you. Don't give it in the light unless he deserves the light. What about, okay, so there's a million things I want to go through here. But first of all, I want to finish with the demographics here. Okay. I think people find this interesting. So you're saying LA, terrible. Ugh, awful. Awful. So that's the number one city. And I'm sorry, it's the most singles in the United States, but, you know, they're metrosexual. Don't come here. Yeah, number one. And I agree with you.

37:48Okay, that's for sure. So then you're saying Arizona.

37:52Patti Stanger:Arizona has a lot of retirees. So we're talking an older community that they can buy a really big - Older, like how? What's the age bracket we're talking? Probably 48 and up. So they have a community of country clubs. They're building up these hotels. The Global Ambassador is a hot spot. If you want to go spend a weekend there, that's a fun place. Great food and everything. Okay, would you say this is number one, Arizona? I would say Boca's number one. Boca's number one. Boca has more men than women. And they all came from New York. And now with the Mondami effect and the Copa law, which I don't know if you know, they're trying to seize your property.

38:25Patti Stanger:You can Google that. You can Google that because we'd get in a whole episode on that one. So you think Boca? Yeah. So they're all going to come down. They're all coming down to Florida. Okay. Always Florida. Yeah. And there are more men in Boca than there are women. Why is that though? They all want to live in the country club house. You get a house behind the gates. You get to play golf and be in a community. It's very easy to make friends that way. Very easy. So if you were moving, let's say, to Fort Lauderdale and a house on the street, you're not going to make friends. But with these communities behind the gates, they're retiring.

38:57Patti Stanger:They're bringing down their businesses. Everybody works from a computer. Nobody works in an office anymore unless they have to. So think about that. So Boca's number one. I would say Boca's number one. How about Miami? Miami is good, but it's very saturated. And also it's young. It's young. What do you say to age? So Miami, like South Beach is gay and Brickell's young. You got to chop it all up. You know, North Miami's got a lot of international communities, very South American. If you like the South American community, North Miami's really good for that. Really? Okay. I just got back from Miami.

39:29I saw -

39:29Patti Stanger:I love South Beach. I love the one hotel. My friend is an apartment next door and I always go to the one. I love it. Love walking to Lincoln Road. They're going to rebuild it. I grew up part-time in Miami. I went to University of Miami at McCain. Yeah. And so my grandmother lived there and Hollywood on the beach. And I lived at Hollywood on the beach. So it's a great area. I love it. However, it's very saturated now. It's like a lot of traffic. So I would say maybe go north because the men don't really like it. They don't like driving. They don't, they're not drivers. I didn't see a lot of like, I didn't see very many single men.

40:03That's why you go north. Right.

40:06Patti Stanger:Delray and Boca. Delray and Boca. You go to Delray and you can go. Well, West Palm Beach is really, West Palm Beach is blowing up right now. How about for single women? Are they just everywhere? And by the way, Jupiter, if you are conservative Republican and you want a strong, rich Republican man, you go to Jupiter. Yeah. Because that's where Mar-a-Lago is. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So Miami, okay, we got the Florida stuff. So Arizona, Boca number one. Also skiing is a great way to meet people. Jackson Hall, Wyoming. I wouldn't say Aspen is kind of metrosexual. Um, I, that, Valis family. So I would put Jackson Hall on there.

40:45Patti Stanger:What's the one in Sun Valley? Is that Sun Valley? That's, uh, Idaho, right? Idaho. Yeah. I'd go to Sun Valley and maybe Park City. Yeah. I'd pick those places because you're picking places that don't have a lot of competition. We're trying to get the competition away. Those 25 year olds that are going to take up your space and you're going to feel miserable because the men aren't looking at you. Okay. So what about New York? New York is really good. I'm just really worried right now. So I have a feeling there's going to be a spree of all the Richie Richies leaving. I don't trust Mondami. No. Yeah, nobody does.

41:18No.

41:19Patti Stanger:And I also think it's going to be really difficult to do business there. And I think the billionaires are going to pull out. I think the grocery chains and the billionaires are going to pull out. And once they pull out, the city is going to fall. They're in trouble right now if Trump doesn't save them. Yeah, I, that, I mean. I mean, he revoked 150 of Eric Adams laws and one of them was protecting Jews. I'm Jewish. Are you Jewish? Yeah. Okay. I'm asking. Oh my God. Hilarious. No one's ever asked. Hello. We're from the tribe. Yes. I thought that was pretty obvious. Cohen? Right. He lied. And of course, you know.

41:52I know.

41:53Patti Stanger:And he's not protecting us. And then also he, 3 ,500 police officers retired and left the force because of him. So we're in a, it's a bad place right now. Right. I mean, you might want to go like, I would say in winter time, you always go to ski mountainy places that like yellow. If you can get into the Yellowstone Club, hats off, go. You know, even here's another thing. Forget that you don't see someone at the bar. Mingle with the guy who's married. He always has one token friend who's single. So you want to get the referral. See, people don't work and network enough. Like they just, oh, there's no one here.

42:31Patti Stanger:Let's leave. And I'm going, wait a second. Who's at the bar? He's got a Rolex on. He's buying shots. Like, let's talk to him. Right. Maybe a conduit to someone else. And by the way, steakhouses, where I tell you where there's meat, there's men. So if you go to a steakhouse and you go at five o 'clock and you're nice to the bartender and you say, hey, do you know any regulars who are single in my age group? He's going to introduce you or she's going to introduce you. Be friendly. If you know the hostess, they all know what's going down. Seriously. You know what? What's your number one piece of dating advice though?

43:04To go to places like the steakhouse? I have a rule.

43:07Patti Stanger:Go out once a week by yourself. Those who travel in packs do not attract. It's a very hard rule and a lot of people can't do it. They cannot eat by themselves. They cannot go to a barbara. They think they're going to be called a hooker if they sit at the peninsula at five o 'clock, you know, that was the old day. If you went to the peninsula in Beverly Hills at five o 'clock, you were a hooker. We're like, where did this come from? Because the Russian hookers used to sit there and wait for the guy to come in and buy them a Chanel purse. Don't they still? I don't know. I haven't been to the peninsula.

43:37Patti Stanger:I haven't been to the peninsula ever. I don't know. I don't even know that anymore. I don't even go out anymore. I love to stay home and watch TV. I want a guy who likes to do nothing with me. Yeah. Does that make sense? That's the most perfect guy. I just want to eat great food and get under the covers and watch television. 100%. And then take a walk on the beach when the weather's good. It sounds like a perfect date to me, which is exactly the problem. That's why people aren't, like these great girls are not meeting people because they don't want to be doing the whole rigmarole. My favorite is when the guy is super athletic on the apps and he's like, I do this, I hang gliding.

44:09Patti Stanger:I'm like, oh my God, you're exhausting, goodbye. And they're like, I want an outdoors girl. Okay, that's right. Okay. I mean, they want an outdoors girl, but I think also they want someone who they can chill with. An outdoors girl is not going to be feminine, pretty, and shaving her legs every week. You don't think so? Yeah. I was going to say, let's say this. So my next question was, what do you think the number one thing that guys are looking for? Like something that's unattainable. Like, you know, men have visions of like what they want, but then what they take is completely different. So what they want is the wish list, the hundred things to the floor.

44:41Patti Stanger:But when they get in front of a woman, she may not be in perfect weight. She may not have the perfect smile. She might be a little bit older. You know, they smell the pheromone. They run after it. So you'd be surprised what they take versus what they want.

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46:36so you know what i find interesting strong like people who are strong like strong women alpha women i find that that's a very hard category well i mean i am like double so i'm

46:49Patti Stanger:a gemini and i'm two personality so right now i'm on my work mode i'm like let's do this And then I meet a guy and all of a sudden that I'm attracted to, not just anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm like, hi. Right. Oh, my God. You did that? That's amazing. Like, that's how I am. And then I noticed that recently. I went on a day Christmas Eve and I did that. And I went, no wonder. He called me again. He asked me out. He kissed me at the end. And I was like not giving any signals. I just automatically went into feminine mode because when I was working with Pat Allen, who was my mentor and who was on the show who wrote Getting Too I Do, she would say to me, switch when you go in the house.

47:30Patti Stanger:And I had to, I had, and I was at a boyfriend at the time and I lived with him and I had to train myself to go from, because I was producing my show and in front of the camera to go, hey babe, what do you want for dinner? Right, and like take off, but you have to, I think that you have - You have to train yourself. But I also believe you have to be with a man who can bring you into your feminine. Well, there's a reason why the masculine women who make money don't meet someone who makes more money than them, which will make them relax. Because if a guy said to you, honey, you don't have to work anymore.

48:02Patti Stanger:I'll take care of you. You can have anything you want. You'd be like, what? Who are you? Where'd you fall from? What alien? What? You know, I'm waiting for the aliens to come any minute. Like, what planet can we go dating on, right? Yeah, right, right. Because we've done Earth, and Earth sucks, right? So, yeah, so that's kind of like where we're at, and we don't get men like that because men are like, I'm exhausted. You know, they're whining, and their moms are momming them to death. You know, it's really awful. See, what I think is social media and the dating apps have really kind of ruined the landscape.

48:34Well, because they don't have to hunt. There's no hunting, and I think—

48:38Patti Stanger:Hunting does not count on the app, by the way. I don't want to say—hunting is physically in person, where you walk up to the girl at the grocery store and say, hey, which cereal should I get? That's what it's supposed to be like. But it's not for most, for the majority. Do you live on the West Side? Yeah. So we used to go to Whole Foods on Venice. Yes, I remember. Like Tuesday, Wednesday night. One of the nights was singles and the other one was gay. And you'd go and sit outside and look really cute from the gym. You'd braid your hair and you have your little beanie on top in the winter and you'd sit outside.

49:08Patti Stanger:Do you remember that? I miss those years. Oh my God. I was like, I cannot believe I did not take advantage of that time. People don't like, that's what I'm saying now with the social media thing, it's people are also getting really, their brains are thinking what's real and what's not real are completely different. Like they're seeing all these, like you said, everyone's Photoshopped, FaceTuned, all these things. And they think that's what they look like. And then they get the girl in person and they're like, I get these complaints from the men when they joined the service, like how they went online, their secretary found these girls.

49:37Patti Stanger:And they would say like, how do you know she really looks like that? And we're like, would you like to FaceTime with her? Yeah. And they don't normally look like that. They FaceTime and they go, can she filter it? And I said, no, she's FaceTiming. There's no filter on FaceTime. Zoom, she can do the beauty thing, but not FaceTime. So then they thank me and they go, God, she's so much prettier than her pictures because he's seeing a human being. Yeah, he's seeing a human being. And remember, when you show a picture or even a video, you're not connecting with that person. So it's very attractive when you connect with a man and you may not have makeup on.

50:10Patti Stanger:I can't tell you how many times my ex used to say, I love you when you don't have your makeup on. I'm like, the hell is that about? That's a known thing though. Men hate makeup. They hate makeup. They just want to see like maybe a little lip gloss and go. And so a little tan, like you've had sun kiss from the sky, forget a spray tan. And they think like, you know, you should just be the girl that throws on a pair of shorts and gets in the car. And I sit there and I go, oh my God, they're going back to high school when this was a high school. So they're trying to get that cheerleader in high school that looks all organic.

50:43Yeah.

50:43Patti Stanger:And that's where their brain, the natural girl next door, that's where their brain is going. But I will tell you this, that men are acting like it's a given, like their entitlement without having to hunt. Like I deserve the best and I shouldn't have to hunt. Well, what I was going to say also, there's a lot of like rhetoric about like, I need, I want my peace, peace talk. Like, you know, I just want to have peace. That's become like the new tagline. So here's the new thing. So women are making money. They have their vibrator, right? Yeah. Yeah. They got their girl posse and their life is full.

51:16Patti Stanger:And they're like, if you can't meet me at my level of peace or better, peace or better, I'm not getting out of bed. Now that never happened. So women are on strike. We've been on strike right now. And this is 18 and up. This is not like 45 year old women who are like, screw you. These are the kids talking. Just like 867 % of alcohol sales are down. Did you know that? Kids are not drinking and not doing drugs. That's what they're saying. Social clubs are becoming very popular, fitness and wellness clubs. I'm making money on influencing or AI or whatever, because they're all techies. And I get to go to home and go to sleep when I want, eat the foods I want, and walk my dog, and life is great.

51:57Patti Stanger:And they're showing it on – I can't tell you how many hot influencers don't have boyfriends. Oh, it's the majority of them. Yeah. I mean, I'm watching them all, and they're like, no, I don't want to go out with him. He said this, or he did that, and I could tell right away, and they're getting smarter. And I have to give social media one credit. I learned about narcissism from Dr. Ramani and all these experts and realized my ex was a narcissist, my last boyfriend, and it was my father. He was my dad. My dad was an alcoholic narcissist, so was my ex-boyfriend. And I learned so fast that I would never learn from years of therapy, so I give it to social media.

52:30Patti Stanger:And now I would never pick a guy like this again. And I can see the red flags before the wall comes in where I could never have done that in therapy. But you don't think that the word narcissism has been overplayed and overused? I feel like everyone's a narcissist these days. I feel like there's more narcissists than you think. You do? I do. Oh, yes. It's a narcissistic tragedy. Happened when they were a child where they created this world that they're the star of their own movie and nobody else matters. And they lost their empathy, Jen. So in the UK, they're starting in the schools, which is shocking considering it's the land of rape right now, you know, London and all that.

53:07Patti Stanger:They're making the boys take empathy classes and how to treat women. They're getting etiquette and empathy classes right now as we speak so they can treat women better in these like boarding school situations. Really? Well, do you know also that people are using AI now as women, like dating people, creating their own... Avatar. Yeah. Just like they used to do the blow up doll and the robots. A hundred percent. And the robots. Versus, like, you know, it's like a film becoming reality, like real life. Yeah. There's so many reasons why dating is down. Do you think it's worse for the younger generation, like the 18 to 30 or for 40 to 70?

53:42Patti Stanger:No, it's worse for the age of 70. Because at least the 40 to 70 has had a taste of what physical companionship is. The 18-year-olds, some of these kids don't even never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And they're not bad looking. And they might be tech spectrum-y. but when it comes to like actually asking girl out to the prom or something like they've never done that also i find now i don't know if it's mostly just in la or california in general everyone is fluid and bisexual yeah so like they're not even the gender my friend's daughter is like that a lot of my friend's kids are and if you say anything against it 100 i'm like can't you pick one side if you close your eyes which one is more attractive they're both they're both and then my favorite is the pansexual where they they're in the mind they love the mind stimulus uh the what's there was another one yeah no i know exactly there's pan and what's the other one the intel intellectual one oh neurotransmitter no um i can't think of it it's like a sexual where you're only turned on by the mind the pan is the soul yeah the soul and the other one's the mind i don't know which one you're talking about i'm sure if you said that i can't it'll come to me later i'm sure someone's gonna they're gonna dm you yeah they will and i'll let you know here it is and i forget what it's called but i feel like that's another reason why relationships are not flourishing at that age.

54:55But so then you think that that generation is worse than our generation?

54:59Patti Stanger:Yes, way worse, way worse. They will get to the point where they will never connect. There was a movie with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock, and they didn't have sex. Remember, he comes back to earth after a certain period of time, and she's in the present, but it's really the future. And he says to her, let's have sex. And she starts to work with some computer thing. And he goes, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm having sex. Like, in other words, something outside of her was stimulating her and he didn't get to touch her. That's what's going to happen in the future. I think we're not that far away.

55:31Patti Stanger:Yeah, maybe five, ten years. You know, I was just telling someone before you got here, you know, I just got back from Miami, like I said, and I played padel. I heard it's amazing. Better than pickleball. Way better than pickleball. That's what I'm bringing it up to. And there's clubs coming up with it. So, yeah. So my friends were super into it. Like you have to come to Padel. So I went to like two or three, no, three different clubs there to play. I found it to be super vibey. I found there to be a ton of single people, women and men who are professional and successful and attractive and athletic.

56:05I was like, wow, like this is like the panacea. Did you see the country club is being built in Fort Lauderdale?

56:11Patti Stanger:That's all pickleball in Padel. It's like this side - And Padel both? It's both. and it's a country club. You basically join like you're joining Soho. Yeah, exactly. And then there's clubs everywhere, all different groups, age ranges and everything. And then they go to have lunch at the club and there's parties at night and it's in Fort Lauderdale by Saugras. And I'm sitting here going, we need that in LA because we don't have anything here. Can I tell you something? I was like, that's exactly what I was saying. I'm like, this is crazy because there it's so vibey. They built a whole culture around it.

56:41People go there, they hang out, they watch other people play. Then they play their game. Then there's like a whatever thing going. And the crowd is way, I think, a much more affluent crowd than pickleball. Oh, yeah.

56:54Patti Stanger:It's like it's way more affluent. Yeah. And like athletic. So if you're someone who's into athletics. So like to me, these are great places to meet people as well. Well, that's the thing. Like now like Mahjong took off. Mahjong, exactly. And it's not just for women only. Like I've seen groups where men and women are playing Mahjong. They're going down to Chinatown. They're learning how to play with the pros. and then they're starting their own Mahjong groups. Really? Men are playing Mahjong? Yes. My mother was a backgammon champion and my dad was a car champion. And my dad, my mom won awards. She built Will Chamberlain and everything.

57:25Patti Stanger:She won awards in New York City, El Morocco. And she used to have these backgammon, my father imported caviar beluga for five years from Russia. And so they would have caviar backgammon parties. Caviar took off, Mahjong took off. Like, what's next? Are you kidding me? Yeah, crazy shit. They just have these amazing parties at my parents' house. So I used to have this thing called game night, which I would like. Oh, I love that. Oh my God. Can I tell you something? We would do game night probably once a month. And what we would do is we would invite a whole different array of people, like usually 30 people, 40 people.

57:57Can we start that again? Yeah. I will tell you something. It was such a hit. So it became so popular. And then everyone would bring their friends and everyone would mingle and talk. Like, I think having, like, experiences with people is the best way to meet people.

58:14Patti Stanger:Okay, I can't tell you how many people, like, in the old days of game night, like, when I lived in Florida. Yeah. Because we took it for granted. We lived in buildings on the beach, and everyone knew each other. Yeah. And on, like, Thursday night, we'd go to the cigar bar and play pool. And, like, we had it so good, and we took advantage of it. Because we should have, like, picked one and got off the market. Yes. But I think that's the best way to meet people. because even if you don't meet someone, you meet someone's friend. Can I tell you - Or they introduce you to someone. Can you know how many times I've said to someone, I'll fix you up if you fix me up?

58:45Patti Stanger:And then we did that. 100%. Also, like, I'm a big conduit person, right? I'm very much, I think like you in that way. Like, even at these game nights, like, you would be surprised how many business things happen, like business relationships, friendships, a couple people met. You need to take 10 % of all that. People would say to me all the time, And then like you should take, like, you should definitely take a commission on this because the amount of things that have happened just in the vicinity of me, business, relationship, I mean, professional, personal, I think it's, that is the way to do it.

59:18Like surround yourself with people. That's what we need to do.

59:20Patti Stanger:So like, if you're in a community, you need to be the ringleader. Like you're the social butterfly. You know, everyone, everyone chips in and pays for whatever they have to pay for the food, the drinks, whatever. Right, right, right. And then you start doing this. it will create a community. And the problem is most people are lazy right now. They don't want to lift a finger. People don't want to. By the way, I'm not even that much of a social butterfly. However - But what a fun thing to do once. I would look forward to that. So that's the thing. Like I'm not even naturally a social butterfly, but I do like to do certain things.

59:48And to me, it's like, I'd rather get everyone together than going individually with one person, one person, one person. It takes forever. It's exhausting. So I'm like, I'm going to invite 20 people and that's the best way to do it.

59:59Patti Stanger:My mom created this thing called Ring the Bell and I put it on the show and it was the greatest thing in the world. So it's called Ring the Bell. It's a party that my mom used to have. So she'd have tables and men would sit around the table and women would sit next to them and she'd have icebreakers in the front, like little cards when you'd read. So fun. Somebody would read the question and then we'd break the ice. And then whoever ran the event would ring the bell. And after every course, the man would get up, the woman would stay and go around the table. It's like speed dating. And my mother had marriages and marriages from this thing.

1:00:30Patti Stanger:So I brought it on the show once. It was really cute. Isn't that speed dating? It was in a sense, but not really. Speed dating is when you're across from someone, or we call power dating, even though the rabbi invented speed dating. Across from someone, and then you jump, you jump, you jump. But this is different because you're at a dinner. So you're at a dinner, and you're talking to everyone. So a woman has a man to both sides, and then a man has another woman to the side. If the man gets up and moves one over, everybody meets everyone. Yeah. And it's like after each course. Like she'd have small courses and then the big finish with the dessert.

1:01:04Patti Stanger:That's so great. I love that. It was a really cute idea. So dinner parties are great too. The problem is people go there, I'm going to meet my husband. No, go there to meet people. How about you just make friends and see where it lays, you know? You got out of the house, you put some lipstick on, you put a pair of cute jeans on and just relax. Like, you know, rather than hunting and standing at a bar waiting to get picked. Yeah, I agree. And also I think that like air of desperation, if you're going there just to me, just to me, as opposed to having much more of, I'm going there, like a reframe of your brain.

1:01:36You're going there to meet people versus I need laser focus. I need to meet a man. I need to meet a woman.

1:01:42Patti Stanger:I mean, my mom was good at the matchmaking part because she did that for a living. But the other thing is like, she also put people in the group that had the same common interests. Like if they were golfers, you know, male and female golfers, she put them all together and then they had something to talk about. So another thing is you can make groups based on like skiing or whatever your hobbies are. I love to cook. So mine would be like cooking. What do you cook? I cook everything. You name it, I can cook it. Really? That's just my thing. I've always been like that since a child. My family always had the refrigerators filled.

1:02:13Patti Stanger:My aunt, my grandmother. And if they didn't have food to cook, you were in trouble because that was how we showed love. Yeah. I mean, that's also very Jewish though, right? But I mean, like I cook really clean now. So I'm like, I was Erwan before Erwan. You know what I mean? Like that's how I cooked. Yeah. All clean ingredients, reading labels. She just gave me something to look at. And I looked, I immediately went to the label. I know. So you read every label. Every label. I know what seed oils are in. I know everything's going down, what flour they use. I'm neurotic. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

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1:04:35That's fatty15.com slash habits, code habits. And you can find the link in the show notes. Now let's get back to the episode.

1:04:52What's the number one question people ask you?

1:04:54Patti Stanger:Where are the men? More than where are the women? Do men ever ask you where all the women are? No, they just say, fix me up. They just know that I have the women. So they go fix me up. But they want to know. But it's always where are all the men? Where are the men? They're so sad. And look, everybody goes through depression. We watched all those Christmas movies where everybody found love this last period. and I just want to cry every single time and go, where's my guy? And now we have a song, our national anthem. Where the hell is my husband by Ray? That's right. The minute it dropped, I told everyone, this is going to be the biggest hit of next year.

1:05:28Patti Stanger:People are like, you're crazy. I'm like, okay, I'm an idiot. But that is the national anthem. Where is my husband? It used to be the single girls. Screw you, Beyonce. We have Ray. Right, exactly. Ray is a new girl in town. That's the number one question they ask you. Did they ever ask you, how are you single if you're a matchmaker? Always, always. But that's my journey and my story. I go on dates. I haven't found the one. I feel like LA is really hard. It would be easier for me in Florida, but I don't live there. So that's why. Why don't you move? Why are you here still? I live here because I produce TV.

1:06:02Patti Stanger:I made five movies for Hallmark. I'm producing a scripted series with the people that made The Kissing Booth and The Queen's Gambit and The Walter Boys. So I'm working on a scripted show. Can you live here half the time? I can. I can. In Boca half the time. I can. But you know what? I really like the weather here. I know. I don't know what it is. Like the humidity, did it get you a little bit? I was lucky. It was freezing cold when I was there. Oh, you were good. You were in the rain. You had the rain and the freezing cold. Oh, yeah. No rain, thank God. That's the problem with Florida. Usually it had rain this last year.

1:06:33You know that. I had the worst humidity.

1:06:35Patti Stanger:I was the last time I was there. I went there. I usually go every other month. My best friend lives there. Oh, really? In Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. And the last time I was there, I said, thank you for the rain. Every day I was there at rained. I hate rain, though. Well, rain brings the mosquitoes. So it's terrible in Florida. Oh, I just, yeah. Listen, I really love the life in Miami. I want to bring it, if I have to import somebody in. I know. Like, hey, guys, if you're watching the show, we're both single. I'm just putting it out there. You're so cute. Because I would totally import a guy in. Especially a guy who's successful and already has money.

1:07:04Patti Stanger:He can live anywhere. Well, I mean, 100%. And who wouldn't want to live in LA? It's beautiful. Yeah, I'll tell you who wouldn't. Anybody who has any money because of the taxes here. It's so expensive. Okay, not to mention all the homeless. I can give you a million reasons why. Okay, all right, all right, okay. Many people have, most of the people I know have like left LA. And then we lost the Palisades also. And the Palisades, there's a lot of reasons. I think that the only reason to be in LA now is the weather. I mean, I think that's really where it comes down to. But then we don't have even summer.

1:07:32Patti Stanger:We get June gloom and May gray, and we don't get like summer until everybody, Everybody's leaving to go back to school and then we get our summer. Isn't that something? It's so stupid. It's crazy. I agree. What's the difference between being picky and having very high standards? Picky is neurosis. So it's constantly where, you know, her eyelashes flutter too much or, you know, one thigh's thinner than the other. Like that's, that's creepy. But high standards, high value woman, that's okay. Yeah, but. I'd rather you have high standards. No, but what's the difference? And someone who's like picking silly things.

1:08:06Patti Stanger:But like, picky is kind of, picky, that's not so much silly things. It's just neurosis over like, you know, like I'm too picky. Well, should I be low standards? So high standards is like, you look at yourself. Do you have those things? Are you successful? If you want someone successful, are you successful? If you want someone in shape, are you in shape? That's like high standards. So what I find so hilarious is when these, I find, this is what I think happens a lot. when people who are, like, they're a six, and they expect to get an 11. Especially if it's a man that has money. Yeah. But they can get the 11.

1:08:41Patti Stanger:Yeah, he believes the entrance fee, okay, of the money, Jeff Bezos 101, you know, and then she comes along and makes him in shape. Yeah, I mean. And they have a good relationship like that. I know, but to me, that's even, I see it way worse. At least she's age appropriate. Yeah, isn't that nice? At least she's age appropriate. Isn't that really nice? Laura's great. She's great. Laura's great. And also, she's no dummy. Yeah. You know what I mean? So he, to me, I can deal with that. What I don't like is when it's like, you're like five foot one and you're bald, but you're very rich. Oh, there's tons of nerds on the Forbes 400.

1:09:17And they're dating a 25-year-old gold digger, and they think that's okay.

1:09:21Patti Stanger:But they didn't get that in high school. But I see if you marry for money, you earn every penny. Because the girl still has to have sex with that guy. Some girls don't care. I know. They're going Birkin, Birkin, Birkin as he's going up and down and pumping a junk. Yeah, but what I don't get, but what does that say about the girl? The girl is materialistic, but you get what you pay for. You get what you pay, and you earn every penny. Did you ever watch the movie Gentleman, what's that movie, Blondes? Gentleman Blondes. Gentleman, the Marilyn Monroe movie. Gentleman wore Blondes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:09:53Patti Stanger:Yeah, okay. So she says to, she's dating this guy, and the guy, father has the money. He's the billionaire. And she says to him, well, don't you know a pretty girl is just like a man with money? We have an exchange. Transaction, yeah. Transaction. I see it all the time. And then she said, what's wrong with that? You're not going to marry an ugly girl. Why not me? In the end, she says that. And I just saw that clip. I put it on my Instagram. Listen, if it works for you, all the power to you. But I find that interesting. Okay, go ahead and go to the question. Yeah, but you have to understand in that time, in that era, women didn't have money.

1:10:28Patti Stanger:So we were slaves to men. So think about this. Yes. We've always been slaves to men till this generation. Think about that. Think about that. Yeah, I know. Our generation, okay, made the money to pave the way for these younger kids where they're making, they're not going to even college. They're like, why should I go in debt? I can make six times that month AI, you know, CGI and all this other crap that they're doing, UCSG and all this shit. they're making all this stuff online without even going to college. Well, we had to go to college. We had to pay our dues. We had to work for the man. They're not doing that anymore.

1:11:03Patti Stanger:So they're making all this money and living at home and saving money at the same time. Like, it's crazy. It is crazy what's happening. But then they're socially inept. So there's a payoff at the end of the day. But the girl that's traveling around and, you know, on Instagram and going, I got princess treatment. He's taking me there and here. And I just got my ring and da, da, da, da, da, da. We'll see how long that lasts. What do you think though of having like a traditional values? I'm traditional. I'm old school, very old school. I'm old school. I'm way old school and you would never know that about me.

1:11:33Patti Stanger:But that's what I've been trying. But you preach it a lot. I feel better when I'm old school. The minute I get outside of old school, I do not feel good at all. Right. No. I mean, and you all, your whole thing also with like no sex before monogamy and all these things, you still believe that. But there's a reason. There's a biological reason. You know that, right? So the biological reason, Emily would tell you this. The biological reason is that we have oxytocin. They only get oxytocin through vasopressin. So a man falls in love when he's doing things for you, solving your problems and doing things, building those Zakiya shelves, okay, picking up for dinner every night.

1:12:08Patti Stanger:When he's doing, he feels good. And then he loves you more. That creates oxytocin. Very small amount, but still it does create it. Women, the minute we have sex with you, we fall in love with you, whether we like you or not, whether you got an orgasm or not. The touch creates oxytocin. We bond. That's why we spoon. Okay. And we're screwed. So we can fall in love with the gas station attendant who doesn't give a shit about you. Okay. We'll rob you blind, you know, steal your sister at the same time. And we're like, wait, what just happened? He is not bonded. He bonds through vasopressin through oxytocin.

1:12:42Patti Stanger:But doesn't that change over time? No. So let's say you get, so like you can start, you don't think it changes over time? No. As long as he keeps doing for you, he will be in love with you. That's why they did a study recently, which upset me greatly, that said women who cook, okay, don't get the love from the man like women who don't cook. And I automatically cook because that's what my mother and my grandmother did. Right. So then you get through. I remember once, I literally was, I was at the best sex I ever had in Florida at one period. It was dirty 30s, early dirty 30s. And so I thought my boyfriend was cheating.

1:13:15Patti Stanger:I wasn't sure. and he was leaving the next morning to go on a business trip. So I conveniently went naked under the robe to his house, you know, like one of those. I lived in Florida and I made his favorite chocolate chip cookies. I stayed up all night baking. That's how he was driving my bus because my hormones were raging to procreate and have orgasms. Oh, he gave me the best orgasms I ever had. So I was like, Emily would love this story. And I went four years on again, off again. The day I said it was over. I had the click. He wasn't for me. He wasn't treating me right, blah, blah, blah. I met my fiance the next day, but I had the click go off.

1:13:51Patti Stanger:Of course. Then he called, please come back. I'll marry you. I love you. I told you that every time they always come back. They could come back 15 years later and say, you were the one that got away. You're going to hear women say that to you after this episode. Yeah. Like, yeah. And so the oxytocin controls our brain to make our decisions. Now you get into your fifties and what happens? Hormones change, right? They change. You get into menopause, testosterone increases, estrogen goes down. No, testosterone does not increase for men, for women. Oh God. Women increase testosterone in menopause and our estrogen decreases.

1:14:30Patti Stanger:When that happens, our brain changes and we become the man. That's why you can have sex after menopause and you're basically don't get attached. I thought you lose testosterone. No, you don't lose testosterone. It increases estrogen. You lose estrogen. You need estrogen. That's why it's very important for people to get on bioidenticals, which now we know the truth, which they've been lying to us. And I was always a Suzanne Somers girl, read the book, went to the doctors, have the best functional medicine doctor, Dr. Reed. You know, Molly Sims goes to her. Oh, do you go to Dr. Reed? Yeah, love her.

1:15:04Patti Stanger:She saved my life. She saved my life. By the way, I went to her 10 years ago. She's French, right? Yeah, she's. She's a very good doctor. I lost her phone number. She knew about peptides. She's in Santa Monica. She knew about peptides before anyone knew. Anybody else did. Anyway, I went to another famous doctor in Beverly Hills who almost killed me in COVID. And Dr. Reed saved my life. What do you mean? What kind of doctor did you do? She overprescribed. I don't want to say her name, but she was really bad. She overprescribed hormones? Overprescribed biogenical, but she misdiagnosed my dosage.

1:15:35Patti Stanger:And having Hashimoto's and everything, I almost died. And Dr. Reed changed me. Really? She completely changed me. Yeah. And that's important that you go to good physicians that know what they're doing. She won't give you anything FDA. Like there's something I wanted and I was reading about it. And she's like, nope, it's not FDA approved yet. Like she's one of those. But she knows about shit before it happens because she's French. I remember she was really good. She was a very good doctor. And I remember when I went to see her for something, she gave me something that nobody else was giving at the time.

1:16:04And she's got a great reputation. I totally forgot about her.

1:16:06Patti Stanger:There's somebody else really famous that goes to her, but I don't want to say it. Molly has talked about it. This other person is even bigger than Molly. No, no. I have a lot of friends who go to her. She knew about Exxon and all the glutathione and all the drips before anybody did. No, that's what she gave me, glutathione, like 12 years ago. And when I got COVID, she knew exactly what to do. Sam Grant, who's my nutritionist, works part-time with her, too. And she is amazing, too. So those two people together really changed my life. God, I should go back to see her. Can you give me her number?

1:16:38I forgot. Yes, I will give it to you after the show's over.

1:16:40Patti Stanger:I really want, I got to go see her again. Is there anything that I forgot to ask you that you think would be something that my audience would like to hear? You said you mostly cater to men, right? Is that what you said? I would say 60-40. Okay. No, no, no. Not all men. I would say 60-40. Maybe talk about some men stuff because we talked more about women stuff. Yeah. Let's talk about men stuff. Okay. Ask me questions about men. What? Okay. So, well, I was asking, yeah, you're telling me a lot about women. Women, by the way, would love this also. But men were my premium clients. So it started with men and it's still with men because men don't have time.

1:17:14Patti Stanger:They're busy, they know what they want and they need someone to give it to them. So if they go back on Instagram with their secretaries, they gotta spend a lot of time, not so much swiping, but screening. And one of the things that I am able to do that nobody can do is me and my team, we screen like nobody. We'll say, we'll know who their first grade boyfriend was. It's like one of those things. And then we know who's right energy for them. Like I had a really difficult client about three weeks ago who's famous on Instagram. And he gets a million girls. He's really handsome from the Midwest. And I gave him two girls, right?

1:17:48Patti Stanger:He likes them both. So now his biggest dilemma is, which one do I choose? I go, well, don't choose any. Just keep dating both. And then you'll figure it out. So one of my clients always says to me, you always give me so many choices. I'm like, should I not? Like other services barely give you one and I'm giving choices. Don't you think it's better to focus on one person and see if it goes well? No, not in the beginning stage. Not these kind of clients. These kind of clients need choices. Because if they go through one, they will come back immediately. They, oh, I pulled the trigger too soon. I'd rather them date a few people than pick one and take their time.

1:18:20Patti Stanger:Right. Take their time. Well, you did tell me that earlier. I mean, that's why I tell women. When the women come in, these men are dating everyone. You date everyone too. Just don't date. You can only date in my service. One of the problems I have is that I tell women, the men who pay or the women who pays, that's the client. So they can have as many as they want. You cannot. So in the matchmaking space, besides the dating apps and all the things we've already covered, is this a big business? Are there a lot of matchmaking? It's getting bigger and bigger as we talk about it because of what's going on.

1:18:53Patti Stanger:Yeah. People are sick of apps and they're sick of everything. And AI is going to now take over in the matchmaking space. That's a new thing that's happening. Really? Yeah. It'll assist us, but it'll never get rid of the human touch because they don't know what they're doing. I've tried ChatGPT for the matchmaking and didn't do what I needed to do. So you need a human touch because we are taste, touch, and feel. So it's a little different than ChatGPT going, theoretically, what you should do. Yeah. It's not the same thing. But I will say that AI will be good for recruiting. Which means like if I want to find a golfer in Cincinnati at a certain country club, eventually, not today, AA will find me that particular golfer for that client, that female client.

1:19:37Patti Stanger:So it's like kind of like it's going to be my legs on the ground, but I wouldn't say it knows how to actually put, sorry, how to put these two people together. You know what I was just thinking would be a great thing if they're going to do something online? LinkedIn should put together. I always said LinkedIn should do dating. For sure. Because it's like you have that cold. I don't know them, but I've always said that. And I would be the in-house matchmaker and help them put it together. I've always said that. I think that would be brilliant because you have like - All the business people. You have like the built-in audience of people.

1:20:09I think they tried to do that with the league. Do you remember the league?

1:20:11Patti Stanger:Well, the league has basic dating, but Facebook dating, but it's not the level because you're looking at business profiles. You're looking at people's CEOs and own corporations. Yes, exactly. And you're looking at a higher level of clientele. Clientele. Okay, I have one last question, actually, and then we can wrap. It's been a while. But what do you think of interfaith relationships versus same? Ooh, this is a touchy one. You know, being Jewish, we all want everybody to date Jewish, especially after October 7th. Right, right. Love is love. So I'm not here to tell you not to who to date because you have a different religion.

1:20:45Patti Stanger:You just got to know are you compatible. So like, for instance, if you're— I'm talking about compatibility at the end of the day. If you're Orthodox Jewish, you're not going to date a born-again Christian. No, no, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is like historically, in your experiences with people that you've set up, have you noticed that the people who have like longevity over time is people who are Jewish, Jewish, Muslim, Muslim together versus this one and that one, you know? No. There are plenty of people that have opposite relationships. Most of the people now I feel are getting more spiritual.

1:21:17Patti Stanger:You know, like I'll go to church with a Catholic guy like I did my last boyfriend and then I'll have Passover dinner with him at my house or something like that. But it's more about, do you believe in God? Like, I can't date an atheist. It wouldn't work for me. I'm not religious, although I am a Zionist for Israel, but I can't date somebody who's like, once we die, we're dead. Like, I'm like, no, we're reincarnated. Like, you know, there's other stuff going on. These are planets. How many times have we now know there's alien life, and yet nobody wants to talk about it? And I'm seeing you're going, there are other planets with other alien life forms.

1:21:50Patti Stanger:Don't you want to know about that? Yeah. I'm like, great, until they invade? Okay. Right. So that's not really, so it's more about the spirituality. Spirituality is believing in God, you know? But when you have a religion, and I won't say the one everybody's going to know, that will blow themselves up and hurt people in the name of their God, that's a cult. That's not a religion. That's a cult. So I'm sorry if you don't like that. That's a cult. Okay? And I'm sorry because God doesn't hurt people. Okay? You know? Yeah, I agree. I was watching One Battle After Another. Did you see it? No. Oh, so good.

1:22:25Patti Stanger:So fucking good. It's the best movie. Next is Marty Supreme and that are the two movies of the year. So I watched One Battle After Another and there's this thing. Where is it on? I want to watch it. I think it's on HBO now. Okay. So it's with Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay. And so there's this thing, this white supremacist club called the American Christmas Club in the movie. And I can't give away what it is. But I thought about this and I went, wait, they don't want anybody whose blood is tainted that's not pure lily white. I thought, Jesus was a Jew and he was Spartac. He did not have white skin. Like, that's how dumb religion became.

1:23:00Patti Stanger:Like, they just made up their fairy tales as they went along. That's not the truth. Jesus was a rabbi. Did tefillin every morning. He'd come back and go, what the hell did you people do? That's right. That's interesting. Exactly true. I'm going to watch that movie. Yeah, so you're going to love that. and Marty Supreme, both of them. Okay, I'm going to watch that. Well, they're both online. Well, no, Marty Supreme, I saw in the theater last week, but One Battle After Another is on HBO. Yeah. I like that. Okay, I think that's all. We've been doing this for a while now. I don't know how long this podcast is, but if people want to know more about you, where can they find you?

1:23:31Patti Stanger:They can either go to millionairesclub123.com. It's got a nest in millionairesclub, or DM me on Instagram. There. Patti Stanger with an I. There you go. You heard it here, not first, but you've heard it here. You are great. again, the OG of matchmaking and so entertaining. So like straight. I think that you're just so fun. Cool. Thank you so much for being on here. I really appreciate it. You're great. And go find Betty on Instagram or the millionaire. Is there like any kind of like survey or something people can fill out? Yeah. When they get to my website, they can decide if they're going to be a client or a dater and then they'll just, the prompts will lead you in there.

1:24:06Patti Stanger:Oh, okay. Great. Yeah. On the website. Perfect. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Oh, thank you for being here. Bye everyone