Episode 578: Attention, Comparison, and the Hidden Cost of Reality TV

0:01Hi, guys. It's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits & Hustle. Crush it. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another solo episode of Habits & Hustle, where I'm today joined with one of my favorite foilers, Johnny Suiza. But before we get into it, you guys, I'm always remiss and I want to make sure I start by telling you guys, if you have not yet subscribed, please hit the subscribe button on whatever platform you are listening to this podcast or watching this podcast because it makes a massive difference. And I've been told by many people that I keep on forgetting, which is true. And so I am now going to try to make a conscious effort to say before every episode, if you like what you hear, please subscribe.

0:48It just makes a big difference with the algorithm. So with that being said, I appreciate it. Thank you for being a listener or a watcher, and let's get into the episode. Shani? Hello. Okay, so today we're going to be covering something that I actually, it's like a phenomenon that I have been very, I don't know, I've been like completely vacant on, which is this whole phenomenon on Love Island. It's like a whole thing. It's a whole thing. Am I the only person not watching it that has absolutely zero idea of what's going on with this whole thing? No, I think a lot of people don't watch it, but honestly, it's just, it's a phenomenal show.

1:25What? But different seasons, different seasons create better or worse seasons. Like it's not, they're not all equal. Like genuinely, there are some summers where Love Island is horrible and you just stop watching. Okay. Give me, hold on. Now you just, you just caught me off guard. How many seasons are there? On the UK one, they're in the teens. They're like a season 15 or something. Oh my God. So am I literally living under a rock? Yeah. I mean, it's been going on for a long time. I've been watching the UK Love Island since season one. Okay. So this is Here's the thing. I don't have time to watch reality TV.

1:56I watched The Real Housewives probably the first two or three seasons for the New York one, maybe like 100 years ago. Oh, wow. I don't have time. I would like to put it out there. Who has time? If you have kids and a career and all these things, who has time to watch reality TV? Well, you would say the same thing about people who don't have time to work out. No, I wouldn't because that is really good for your mind and body. But to some people, that's a priority. Entertainment is a priority. Hold on. Reality TV is a priority. How does it make you better? To some people, they prioritize entertainment.

2:30And so it's just a matter of, I think what you have time for in life is just a matter of what you prioritize. Okay. Yes, true. But I'm going to have to stop you there because if you can actually sit here with a straight face and tell me watching reality TV is the same kind of situation as like exercising, it's completely different. No, I'm saying it's a matter of prioritizing. I'm saying you ask the same question to a lot of people who say, I don't have time to work out. I'm a parent. I can't do this. So many moms say that all the time or so many parents say that all the time. How, when you have kids, can you possibly get to the gym every day?

3:00Everybody uses that. So a lot of people would say the same thing. I think the response is the same response to both of those questions. Okay. In life, you have time for what you make time for. That is true. And I will have to agree with you on that. But I will say the benefits of what you get from working out are very much outweigh what happens when you watch reality when they're fighting and competitiveness and all these things. Okay, so that's the first thing. And I understand that people will watch it maybe kind of just to tune out and kind of just have something like just to kind of get their mind off of whatever stress is in their life.

3:35Okay, with that being said, is Love Island like the biggest reality show right now? Whatever happened to like Real Housewives or Below Deck and all these other shows? It's hard to say what the biggest is because when you're in it and you're in the fandom and you're like seeing all like your algorithm is so full of that stuff, then for you it's bigger. But I don't necessarily think, I don't think I can say. Is The Bachelor still on? That's a good question. Actually, they did cancel a season of The Bachelorette with Frankie. Oh, I saw this. Taylor Paul or something like that. And honestly. She's the Mormon girl, right?

4:02Yeah, but I thought that was the craziest thing because they air movies, TV, sports games with plenty of people who've been accused and convicted of so many things. And yet this one woman who like threw a chair at a guy who's honestly super abusive already, like now has her entire season taken off. Also, it's reality TV. I don't want to see the morally ethical, like beacons of life on reality TV. I'm looking for Messi. Like air that season. The fact that they haven't aired that season is crazy. Well, I think it's because of the backlash they'll get. Like I think - No, but they'd get so many viewers.

4:37Oh, the money they'd make. Right, but hold on, hold on. This is a really good topic and I'll tell you why. I know this for whatever reason I do know, because this was such so in the zeitgeist. I think why that was different is that she, the girl, whatever her name is, I think that not only did she throw a chair at the guy, but she did it in front of her kid. So I thought they thought that was like somewhat of abusive or, you know, very traumatic for a kid, obviously. But again, a lot of these same guys and men, I mean, the NFL literally is playing out every single game with at least somebody who's like been, you know, accused of serious domestic abuse.

5:11Like there's so many NFL, that's true. Ridiculous. But I think ABC is a network that has to have— ABC that airs football. Are they the— I mean, they play football. Who does NFL football? I don't know, but they play— Who does Monday Night Football, I should say? I'm just saying all these guys are— All these networks are the same, and they just will cancel some— Like, they just so frequently women are held to such a higher account than so many of these guys who get away with so many more things. I mean, the fact that, like, all the wives of the men in the Epstein list are the ones who are being asked the questions about their husbands, I find so funny, but yet none of the husbands are being asked any questions.

5:47Like, it's just hilarious. Melinda Gates apologizing for, I'm like, what the hell did Melinda do? Like, this is just weird. Oh my gosh. We live in an upside down world. That is another great point. This is why I like you as my foil, because you have an opinion on everything. I do. And a good one at that, I think. I think that's actually very, I feel like that whole Epstein thing is very, it's become a very tired topic. But at the same time, it's extremely relevant. And I think everybody just tries to, not everybody, there's certain people who in the upper echelons just keep on trying to like put it under the rug.

6:22But yet I think that's 100 % true. Like why, you're right, you're seeing like, you're seeing Hillary Clinton on being like basically cross-examined like she's a criminal who murdered seven people. You see Melinda having to do it. But yet I haven't seen one thing about, I haven't seen Bill Gates. No, not one. Well, actually that's not true. I have seen Bill Gates. I haven't seen Bill Clinton very often doing it. Well, I think. I haven't seen either. I still I've seen Bill Clinton on a few different social clips. But yeah, I think that that's an actually valid point. But I do think it's of course it's like very flipped.

6:52But we're like we're this is a whole other podcast for a whole other day. I know. I know. But reality TV. I can't tell you if Love Island is the biggest one. But I will say that that it airs every single night. It's like five days a week that are fresh episodes. And so I think every night. Yeah, and there's also the U.S. and U.K. seasons happening simultaneously. So I feel like that just culminates into a ton of social content, which then makes it feel like it's the biggest reality show right now. Oh, my God, because that's why. Because I always see these clips that are referencing Love Island, and I have no clue what they're talking about at any given time.

7:28So you're telling me it's on every night. It's kind of like Jeopardy. It's like the new Jeopardy or the new Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, it's every night except for like Wednesdays. It's not on. It's very sad on Wednesdays. And also there's one episode each week that's like a recap show. It's like an after something. What network is it on? So the UK one is on Hulu and the US one is on Peacock. And why they're on separate networks is beyond me. Really? Yeah. So which one's better? The production of the UK is significantly better. I mean, they started the show. They get the premise better. I think the US production actually had somebody pass away on their production team this season.

8:05And I don't know if... What is the premise? Can you please tell me what the premise of the show is? Is everyone on an island? But I will say the U.S. team, like, I think that they had, they took a toll on that production team. And I think it was worse this season because of that. I mean, that's my theory. So the premise is you go on to, you're in a villa with a bunch of other hot people. And you're meant to couple up with somebody. And the idea is to find, like, your person on this, you know... Island. Yeah, during the summer. This is like the most cookie cutter situation. It's the same thing on The Bachelor.

8:33But there's a lot of twists. It's like you have to find a couple. And if you're if you're single, then you're vulnerable and you can only recouple during recoupling ceremonies. And sometimes, you know, if the boys pick or the new or the new people pick, then you're kind of like shut out of luck and you don't have control over the situation. So you might even be sent home, even if you're like with somebody and really connected with them. Like there's so many different. I thought you just said that the whole thing is that when you get there, you have to couple up. Right. But let's say, for example, there's a recoupling ceremony.

9:01And what does that mean? That's when they choose their couples. Like every few days or whatever, there's a recoupling ceremony where they get to either stay in their couple or recouple. But it's not just like, you know, anybody gets to choose and it's all fair. Sometimes the guys pick, sometimes the girls pick, and almost always the newest people that they send into the villa get to choose first. So let's say somebody comes into the villa and they really like the guy that you've been with for the last two weeks. And there's a recoupling and they get to choose first. They might choose your guy.

9:29Now you're up there waiting to see who's going to pick you. And maybe nobody is going to because you've been with this guy for a few weeks. You know what I mean? But can he say no and say, I want to stay with this girl? No, no. He has to then recouple with them. He could like quit the show and leave if his person like gets sent home, which has happened a couple of times, but not frequently. Really? People are in it for the fame more. So they want to stay. Oh, my gosh. This is actually, it's kind of like Survivor, but for dating. Ironically, they film the U.S. season on the same island as Survivor films.

10:01And so they sometimes have reported that they can hear, like Survivor contestants from one of their, like, things, can hear the Love Island people while they're filming, like, partying and stuff. So imagine you're starving on Survivor, dying. Oh, my gosh. That's true. And you hear a literal party happening on the villa of Love Island, like, you know, across the way. Can you just jump over the ocean or like run over? That is crazy. They're both on Fiji. Yeah. Yeah. But the thing with the show is it's changed so much over the years in terms of like the just the quality of the actual dating aspect of it all, because it's become so much more of a launchpad for people's careers.

10:37Seasons one, two and three of the UK were something else. Seasons one and two, they had absolutely no idea that they were going to get famous going into that show. Season one. Who got famous? Is there anyone I know that's famous from that show? I mean, I don't know if you would know them, but there's a lot of people from that show that have mega careers. Anybody from the UK from the first like 10, they're millionaires now. They all make so much money. Maura Higgins, all these people, they make so much money. In the UK, they became like the celebrities of the UK. Like Love Island was the craziest launchpad for people.

11:08And so it became like a lot more about the clout. But actually there's a few couples from one, two and three that are still together, which is pretty amazing. How do you win? Is it a game? So technically you can win, but it's only$100 ,000. But what's the game? And they make so much more after that in brand deals. It's like not even funny. No, I know. But what's the like, what is the goal? America votes for their favorite couple. But America always votes for the most annoying couples. They're so wrong. Their opinions are always so obnoxious. I actually can't stand the audiences often. I find that they're so they're so easily manipulated.

11:41The audience is I can just like predict everything that they're going to think. And honestly, it always sucks. Like it just always sucks. And they're so mean. I've never seen such a cruel audience. Three people from Love Island to date have killed themselves because of the turmoil and the insanity that comes from the fan base of the show. Yeah, one of the hosts, Caroline Flack, she killed herself. These were more early days, though. And this guy, Mike, and this woman, Sophie. Sophie was on season two, I believe. And Mike was season three. Because they were getting such bad. Such insane hate. Bullying from.

12:13Yeah. Yeah. Mike's nickname to the public was Muggy Mike, which in the UK to be a mug or like to be mugged off means you were like embarrassed or you were, you know, whatever, rejected by someone publicly or whatever it is. And that was like his nickname to the public. I mean, this guy went through it from the fan base. That's horrible. Yeah. Do they have a golden love island like they have golden bachelor? No, but that would be so funny. I would love to see that. That's actually a really interesting idea. Right? I think so. because I feel like they do that for, I mean, they do that for The Bachelor, but I don't know how successful it is.

12:48I don't know if that part of the franchise is doing as well as the OG one. I don't know. I watched a couple of episodes. I didn't love it. I was like, this is cute, but whatever. Well, yeah, because you're not interested in old people. I mean, no, just like, but I think the right cast could be good.

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14:55I will say one last thing though that I think is important on The current season's big differentiations between UK and US that I've noticed within the actual cast. For Love Island. Yeah. The women on the UK season have been incredible at just being like, fuck you. I'm not taking anything from any of these guys who are going to disrespect me or be rude or whatever. They just move on. They are so blunt. They're in their faces. They're like they call things out. There's this one girl from Scotland. I forgot her name right now, but she's incredible. And really, they've shown such a high standard of self-respect.

15:35It's been phenomenal to watch. The U.S. season, I actually have been honestly saddened to see. Like, there are literally girls in there who are encouraging their girlfriends in there to stay with guys who have just been absolutely atrocious to them, walking all over them, lying to their face. And it's just been so disorienting. And the one girl in there who actually did stand up for herself all the time and did walk away and did like, you know, speak up for herself and have self-respect is the one girl who all the fans seem to hate for no reason. And who all of the girls in the villa were giving her Kenzie.

16:07I love her. I mean, I just I just find that the fan base itself really needs to like take a look at itself before it engages online, because some of these things that they put are crazy. A few of the U.S. people came back and deactivated their Instagrams right away because they were getting too much hate. Really? Yeah. Crazy. So why do you think this show is like such a phenomenon more than like I know you're saying. So what I'm kind of hearing from you is it's because it's on five days a week. Yeah. So the volume of shows is also you have UK and the U.S. seasons are on together. OK. But besides those logistics, is there anything else about the show that you think kind of mimics or like kind of mirrors or something that's going on in our zeitgeist that makes people.

16:56Because I think in the real world, no one's really dating. So it's funny that everyone's on this island dating. But in real life, nobody's going out with each other. Well, I think, yes, there is things that are happening in the zeitgeist that happen in the show. And so I do think that's why it resonates a lot. But no one's dating, but they're still trying. Like people are out here wanting love. Everybody wants love. And so they're watching a lot of the things that happen in the real world happen on Love Island. It's kind of like a microcosm for the shitty dating world of today. Yes, I totally agree with you.

17:25And you see it. You see it. But you also see the way that, you know, it's like this girl, Melanie, right? She's on the U.S. season and she's been so battered by this guy. And you can just see the light completely dissipate from her face from episode one to the end. And I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling. And so, you know, while we can all kind of get on her case about staying with him or doing this, so many people find themselves in a lot of these stories. And it pulls you in. It really does. Well, anything, it's an emotional, it's what do you call it? Everything like that pulls on your heartstrings or curiosity of what's going to happen.

18:03But I just find, again, that that's the one show I hear all about. The other one I hear a lot about is Love on the Spectrum. Have you heard of this one? This one is so popular. So great. People love it because it's so honest and earnest. Have you seen that one? Yeah, I've watched a few episodes. I love how blunt they are. Well, that's the thing. People love it because it's like real. Because most of everything else you're watching is so contrived, so performative. And that's one show that you probably cannot be performative or contrived because they are who they are, right? So people love it, though.

18:36People find it to be super endearing. It's like probably the number one show on Netflix. It's great. It's fun to watch people just speak their truth without any regard for anything else. Like they are just on it. They'll sit down. They'll be like, I don't like you. I love it. I just love it. Sounds like me, actually. And they're like, I don't like you, too. I'm not having fun. Let's leave. You know, like they're just so, I mean, they just tell it how it is. I love it. Sounds like you, too. It is. It's great. I'm telling you. Maybe that's why I like resonate with it. That's the one show I'm like, oh, I would maybe watch that episode.

19:10Okay, so what else is there to say about Love Island? Is there any kind of or anything about the reality world, like reality TV? You know, well, you know, I used to have a podcast about reality TV for so long. No, I had no idea, actually. So the Saniac podcast was about MTV's The Challenge, and we would cover other reality shows. But I will just say, like, this goes across the board for all reality TV. The audience needs to just take a beat. Like they need to take the biggest beat possible because they have to understand how much production goes into making it entertaining. You're filming people 24 hours a day and you're giving us the juiciest juice and you're trying to make it a storyline that is going to fire us up as an audience.

19:52The audience just eats it up and they feed into all of the crazy things. So like death threats and hate and this, that and the other, you know, it's just par for the course for a lot of these people who go on these shows. And it's kind of sad to see. So I will just, I will end off on that. Like, I think that is one of the most important takeaways that the viewers need to just come home with. If you're like on threads out there, I'm always on threads. I get all these thread suggestions. Who A has the interest or the time to even like comment on this shit? I mean, they get deep. That's what I don't get.

20:24They start attacking family. Then these people need to get a life. I mean, I am just, again, you can say whatever you want and you can say that, you know, whatever, everyone prioritizes different things. But if this is your priority to watch reality TV, you need to take a hard look at yourself. And then if you're someone also who feels the need to comment and bully somebody, that's even more pathetic. I just think all of this is like, kind of like work on yourself. I don't even know how people, like I said, I'm going to start the podcast. I'm going to end the podcast the way I started the podcast, which is I don't know where people find the time.

21:01I honestly do not. Maybe because I'm too busy working out in the gym five hours a day. No, I'm joking. I do not. So no, don't come after me. But what I'm saying is, like, this is like the demise of, I think, our society and our culture is that it's a comparison all day. It's feeling less than. It's looking at other people living their lives as opposed to living our own life. And so to me, this is just another example of how we get too invested in other people and not invested enough in what we're doing and how we're doing it. So with that being said, maybe next time you want to watch Love Island, maybe listen to a Habits and Hustle podcast.

21:43Thank you, Shani. We're going to end it there unless you have anything else you want to add. No, I think that was good. I think just, you know, you can watch a show, but just do so with grace. Be kind. That wasn't my point, but OK, thank you. And goodbye, everyone. Have a wonderful day or night, depending on when you're listening or watching. And don't forget to subscribe.

22:05Thank you.