Ant Challenges Jamie Oliver to a Pant-Off & Does Dec's Tooth Fairy Pay MORE Than Zayn Malik??

6:25Jamie Oliver:We do. it's wild

6:26Declan Donnelly:okay Kerry we might be able to help you out here

6:34Declan Donnelly:on the back of the listeners I've got to okay there you go that's good so Kelly Kerry whatever you're called Kerry this is all for you in Donnie and Derby have you ever been to Derby probably yes yeah yeah any funny stories about service stations sandwiches or cardboard boots no let's bring them out Shane, any funny stories about service stations, cabal boots or sandwiches in Doncaster?

7:02Ant McPartlin:None that sprinted to mind. Oh, sorry, Kerry. Go on. But thank you for your letter. And it has made us think twice about it.

7:10Declan Donnelly:Just going to file that. I'm going to file that in constructive criticism. Yes. Over there in the filing cabinet. Sure.

7:17Ant McPartlin:Thanks. But it did make me think about everybody that is listening in the UK. So for this week, we're going to do a UK special. Okay. So we have Chantel in Liverpool. There she is, up in Liverpool. Ever been? Yes, I have been to Liverpool many times. We love Liverpool a lot. Heather is in Cornwall. Down in Cornwall there. Hi, Heather. I went to do a Cornish accent and then I decided against it. You've got it.

7:41Jamie Oliver:Yeah, you do.

7:43Ant McPartlin:What's the accent?

7:44Jamie Oliver:Quartisier.

7:46Ant McPartlin:Why are you taking the make out a quarter zip? What's the matter? Why?

7:50Jamie Oliver:It feels quite Cornish.

7:51Ant McPartlin:What, a quarter zip feels quite Cornish?

7:52Jamie Oliver:Yeah, to me.

7:53Ant McPartlin:Kit is in there. Hold on, have you ever been? Yes, have you ever been? Yes. Have you, you go a lot, don't you, the Como? I do. I try and go for a week every year. I love it in Como. Same place? Same place. Every year? Every year. Any funny stories, the combos, the sandwiches? No, just nice times on the beach, ice creams, fish and chips. Family time. Family time. Didn't like to talk about it. Private time.

8:17Declan Donnelly:Private, private, you get a pen, private time.

8:20Ant McPartlin:Just circle, circle Como. You know, Ron Atkinson never wanted Mr. Bean in Italy because he wanted to go somewhere in his home. Thank you. It's me in Cornwall. Yeah. I never talk about it.

8:30Declan Donnelly:So just like Britain's Got Talent, I'm a celebrity. We can't see a limitless win there, nothing. Nobody knows who I am in Cornwall. That's good. So you can just walk around. Yeah. Private time. Private time. Good. Family time.

8:39Ant McPartlin:Kit is in Northumberland.

8:40Declan Donnelly:Yeah, of course we're in Northumberland. We're in Northumberland.

8:43Ant McPartlin:Loads. Beautiful part of the world. It is gorgeous. Alice is in Dorset.

8:48Declan Donnelly:It's a bit like your Cornish accent now, isn't it? The Dorset accent. Alice has listened to Dorset ever been? Yes I have been in Dorset What have you done in Dorset? Went on a holiday down there to Dorset went crabbing in Dorset Sorry? Crabbing Crabbing? Crabbing Getting crabs Grabbing crabbing Grabbing crabs Grabbing crabs Do you know the key to getting good crabs? Bacon Bacon fat I was going to say that Lola and you've ruined my podcast You've ruined today's podcast That's it Respect guys Bacon fat They love it Crabs can't get enough of it So if you want a bucket full of crabs bacon fat

9:23Ant McPartlin:there you go handy hints Clarice is in Derry Northern Island ah Clarice

9:27Declan Donnelly:Clarice yeah you know Derry Northern Island well don't you I do used to go to family holidays every year private time hits to talk about it every year have you noticed whenever you got is it a Northern Irish thing or just an Irish thing they've got very good ice cream machines in all of the service stations have they yeah like every service station you go in there's always like a Mr Whitby machine I've never noticed that for a country that is pretty wet and quite cold most of the time. Ice cream sales are off the charts. Wow. I've never looked at that. I will look out for that. Next time you drive around they've got Applebee's.

10:00Declan Donnelly:Is it Applebee's? If you're listening in Ireland send us a picture from Applebee's because very good service stations over there. Oh right. Very good. And brown lemonade. Brown lemonade. Brown lemonade in Ireland. Yeah they do.

10:12Ant McPartlin:Oh it's the best. Jenny's listening in South East London. Ever been? Yes I have. Yes of course. Yes. Connie and Little Luke are in North Wales.

10:20Declan Donnelly:Oh yeah, North Wales. Yes. North Vita. Have you ever been? Yes, you know we have. Yes, see. We've got a podcast talking to Michael Sheen about our time in Wales. Check it out on Belterbox.

10:30Ant McPartlin:Laura Hamilton's in Scotland. No, sorry. Laura in Hamilton, Scotland. Laura's in Hamilton, Scotland. Hi, Laura. Lastly, Chloe and Sean are in Newcastle. Have you ever been?

10:41Declan Donnelly:Yes, I have on occasion. Yeah, you have been.

10:43Ant McPartlin:Yes. Great. Listen, thank you for letting us know where you're listening from in the UK and around the world. We should flip-flop between the two.

10:51Declan Donnelly:Yeah. We'll do a world map one week and then we'll do... You can easily do that. Yay! Where's your flags? Yeah, they're in the other map.

10:58Ant McPartlin:Oh, OK. Right. That's good. That's very good. But yeah. So let us know where you're listening from and we'll stick a pin in the map. This is an advert for Santander who understand that getting started on a goal isn't always easy and taking a meaningful first step is how progress happens.

11:15Declan Donnelly:It's a bit like when we started SM2 Villar on Saturday mornings. We just had to start it, didn't we? We just had to take that first step. Yeah. Because we didn't know how good we'd be. It was live every Saturday, which we'd had experience of, but not a lot of experience.

11:30Ant McPartlin:It makes me shudder now. Because we were bad. Yeah. The show, to start with, for probably the first... Six months? No, not that long. Two, three months, maybe? Right. We were really just scrambling around to get by week to week.

11:45Declan Donnelly:And the ratings weren't great.

11:46Ant McPartlin:No, the ratings weren't great. It started off badly, but then it grew. But we could never have gotten to the point we did with it without having gone through those early days and the tricky bits at the very beginning. Yeah. Going through that whole process made us better at what we did. And by the end of it, you know, it was...

12:04Declan Donnelly:The best thing. Well, we learned everything about live TV.

12:06Ant McPartlin:Yeah. But we wouldn't have got going if we just didn't do it. Yeah. We had to take the plunge and start at the very bottom. Oh, and boy.

12:14Declan Donnelly:And work our way up. Yeah. And boy, it was the bottom. And that's what Santander is doing. Working hard to help customers build the confidence they need to achieve a goal that matters to them. Santander, it starts here. Not only do we like to know where you're listening from, we like to know how you're listening and how you're watching the show. Have a look at this, right? We've got a few here, look. Bo likes to listen in the car. In the car. Yeah, nice. Very good. Keep your eyes on the road. You've got Kelly in the middle there. Kelly on the telly. is Kelly Kelly's the baby I presume I think Kelly's

12:49Ant McPartlin:Kelly's taking a picture Kelly's taking a picture that would make sense look at the size of Kelly's telly that's a big telly Kelly how big is Kelly's telly that is big 75 inch is that a 70 80 inch 100 inch

13:02Declan Donnelly:100 inch no that's not 100 inch no but it's big though Mabel Mabel's the dog yes is Mabel taking the picture self timer self timer yeah

13:13Ant McPartlin:Mabel the dog is watching us on the telly big fan of Ant she's paused that she's looking at Ant she's paused that and is just staring at Ant oh sausage I love him sausage I love him

13:26Declan Donnelly:look at a sausage I reckon I would be your dog's favourite do you think?

13:29Ant McPartlin:yeah it's because you look like you've got treats in your pocket what? you look like that kind of person that has treats in your pocket I normally do

13:34Declan Donnelly:just not in this jacket because it's new poo bags and treats in most of my pockets yeah I reckon I would I reckon you'd be not a cat's favourite that's too obvious tortoise turtle terrapin Hamster. Hamster! You'll be hamsters and gerbils favourite, and I'm dog's favourite. Why? Don't know. Maybe it's the three-quarters zip. What's wrong with your zip? Nothing's wrong with it. It's just hamsters like that kind of vibe. Guinea pigs, a little guinea pig sat there. Yeah, look, and you've got a little ring to put a little food in for it.

14:03Ant McPartlin:Keep your photos coming in of where you're listening and how you're listening, and let us know if you've got a bigger telly than Kelly. Kelly's telly's massive. I'd love to know how big that is.

14:11Declan Donnelly:Yeah, that is big. Let us know, Kelly. Get in touch. Let us know how big your telly is. Please, because we're all intrigued.

14:18Ant McPartlin:Keep your pictures coming in. Hanging out at bellabox.com. Have you been watching much?

14:23Declan Donnelly:I watched Jordan North on Bellabox. Oh, the surprise dinner party. Very funny. It's very funny. If you haven't seen it, it's Jordan has to do a dinner party because he's a terrible cook, Jordan North. So there was an idea that he has to throw a dinner party for surprise guests and they turn up and he has to make and serve these guests dinner. it is hilarious because shall I I might as well say yeah Jed would turn up and the chaos that ensues is hilarious but the anger at which Jordan has for Jedward because they're just being really irritating throughout his cooking the anger is real it's real but it's funny man it's really it's Ape Bananas for me as soon as Jedward turned up at the door I'm like I'm in here this is Ape Bananas all the way it's good yeah check it out it's Ape Bananas

15:12Ant McPartlin:Yeah, bananas. It really is. It is very good. Oh, got an airplane coming in. Oh, bad catch. This is from Charlotte in South Woodford. She says, I recently watched Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds for the first time. Not one for deck, I'd say. No, it's not Charlotte. It got me thinking, how about you two in a Hitchcock-style movie? That's a good idea. It's a great idea.

15:34Declan Donnelly:Why didn't William Boyd come up with that?

15:36Ant McPartlin:Movie ideas are back again. A brief recap on this. We had lunch with William Boyd, the famous author, successful, critically acclaimed author. And he said he had an idea for a movie for us, was just about to tell us what it was and his wife turned up and we never got to hear the movie idea. So we asked any of you viewers and listeners, if you had any good movie ideas, send them in and we'll make them into movies maybe. Come on, tell us. So I did some research into the mind of the great man and thought I'd have a stab at it. Bonus points if you can catch the film references in the script. So we've got scripts in the drawer.

16:10Ant McPartlin:We'll have a quick table read and see if there's anything in it. Let us know in the comments what you think of this.

16:18Declan Donnelly:Right, okay. Set in the 1940s, Roger Steinbeck, an American bank clerk, has noticed that every Wednesday after a visit from a beautiful blonde woman, his colleague, Kent Washington, becomes very secretive over her paperwork. Roger suspects Kent is hiding something and becomes obsessed with finding out.

16:36Ant McPartlin:He follows Kent after work one day and sees him meet up with the blonde in a cafe. But before Roger can enter to eavesdrop on their conversation, masked robbers raid the cafe and the customers hide under the tables. In all the hubbub, good use of hubbub, in all the hubbub, Roger looks to where Kent and the blonde woman were sitting and notice they've disappeared. At that very moment, he gets struck on the back of the head and blacks out, waking up in his own bed. Next day, office. Characters are wearing ties for work. Do you want a picture of a tie on? Yeah, let's put a tie.

17:07Declan Donnelly:I'm a bit confused. I can't lie. But I'm hoping that if I just keep reading it, it'll make sense. Okay, I've got a tie. Wow, I haven't got a tie for so long. How do I do this with three quarters here? Okay.

17:22Ant McPartlin:Who's Kent and who's Roger? I'll be Kent. Okay. Jamal, can you do stage directions, please?

17:27Jamie Oliver:Sure. Roger is sat at his desk, tapping a pen, staring at the door impatiently. The clock is ticking.

17:36Jamie Oliver:The door creaks open. Kent enters wearing a mysterious hat.

17:42Declan Donnelly:Mysterious hat? What?

17:44Jamie Oliver:Yes.

17:46Declan Donnelly:Roger. Are we American? Are we? I don't know. That hat's on the front, by the way. An American bank clerk, he says. So that's where I got American from. Start again. Okay. We're American. Okay. Roger. You're here. Hold on. Take two. Roger, you're here early Yeah, why wouldn't I be? No reason, everything okay? You look a little tense

18:12Jamie Oliver:A bird squawks outside the window making Roger jump

18:17Declan Donnelly:Tense? I look tense, do I? Yes, that's what I just said, is something on your mind? Something on my mind? Yes, something worrying you?

18:26Ant McPartlin:Something worrying me?

18:27Declan Donnelly:Yeah

18:28Ant McPartlin:Yeah? What's going on?

18:30Jamie Oliver:You tell me what's going on Kent walks into the back room to take off his mysterious hat. Roger follows and suddenly pins Kent against the wall with his forearm across Kent's neck. Come back, come back. I'm walking. I'm walking.

18:45Ant McPartlin:Right, come in, Noel. Come in and take off your mysterious hat. With his forearm across his neck.

18:50Declan Donnelly:I know you're hiding something, Kent. I don't know what, I don't know. I'm American, aren't I? I don't know what you're talking about, Roger.

18:57Ant McPartlin:The blonde, the shifty paperwork, the raid of the cafe last night, I know it's all linked. What are you talking about, Roger?

19:04Jamie Oliver:What's going on? You'll tell me! Roger backs away and grabs a penknife. A penknife? A penknife? We don't have a penknife. Holding it out towards Kent.

19:12Declan Donnelly:Use your pencil. You've got a spoon. You've got a spoon that he has for his chai puddings in the morning. Oh, there you go. And holds it towards Kent. Hey, man! Can I add a bit? Or do I have to stick to the script? Hey, you psycho!

19:27Jamie Oliver:Stop being a psycho! Kent grabs a book and holds it up like a shield. Ah! I know you're hiding something from me, Kent! At that moment, a bird squawks again, distracting Roger. Why are all the birds so loud today? Kent seizes the moment and hits Roger round the head with the book. Roger stumbles backwards towards some stairs.

19:51Declan Donnelly:You know too much already. My vertigo is coming back.

19:56Jamie Oliver:A dizzy sound effect plays.

20:02Declan Donnelly:You're part of this now. What? Be at Grand Central this evening at dusk. We're taking this 6.45 to Niagara. North? Northwest.

20:15Jamie Oliver:Kent turns and leaves Roger panting at the top of the stairs. Suspenseful music plays fade to black.

20:26Declan Donnelly:It's all right. Well, that was a lot. That was a lot. There was a lot of Hitchcock references in there. Hitchcockisms. Hitchcockisms. Hitchcockisms. It was all right. I love to read, though. I want to know more. Yeah, I do. I want to know what this goes. You need to send us a full script, really, don't they? Or at least a little bit more than that.

20:48Ant McPartlin:Banana rating. Well, it's work in progress. I would give it a banana rating of... Two? Four. Four.

20:55Declan Donnelly:Okay, four. Average three. Average three. Banana rating of three. It's not bad for someone that hasn't even made it yet. That's just words on a bit of paper.

21:04Ant McPartlin:If you just start on the banana rating, a three, there's plenty of room to grow. Oscar Willem movie. Charlotte, well done. I loved it. Well, you didn't. You give it a three.

21:14Declan Donnelly:Well done, Charlotte. I love it. No, you didn't. You didn't. You give it a three.

21:18Ant McPartlin:If you think you've got any ideas as to where this could go and what Kent is embroiled in and who the mysterious blonde is. We're both embroiling it now. You're a part of this now. I know too much. And if you've got any other movie ideas in another genre, It doesn't have to be Hitchcockian.

21:32Declan Donnelly:That's a good idea.

21:33Ant McPartlin:It could be anything.

21:35Declan Donnelly:Action, romance. Yeah. Rom-com. Rom-com would be good. Wouldn't it?

21:41Ant McPartlin:Yeah. What do you mean? Be careful. Just be careful. Why? Just not too much kissing. I love kissing. I know you do. You know me. I know you do. Love kissing. Keep all your ideas coming in. Hanging out at bellabox.com.

21:54Declan Donnelly:Now, have you noticed anything other than my banana jacket? Have you noticed anything about me today? I have. Go on.

22:03Ant McPartlin:I was going to mention this.

22:04Declan Donnelly:You're not very clean-shaven today. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm a bit stubbly, aren't I? You are, yeah. 24-hour stubble.

22:10Ant McPartlin:Is it? Just how quick. That's been since last week's pod. No, that's not a week.

22:14Declan Donnelly:That is not a week. How long is that? That's two days. And you didn't come freshly shaving for the pod? No, I didn't come, no, because I wanted to just approve that, you know, that's all it takes. Just don't shave for two days and this is what happens.

22:27Ant McPartlin:Yeah. That's how quickly it pops out. I haven't got time to do that at the moment. I've got to, I've got things to do. Like what?

22:34Declan Donnelly:I've got to be places. But you've got a week from now. As discussed on last week's pod, you said from next week, didn't you? From next week, I've got, I'll do the week.

22:45Ant McPartlin:A few things have gone in the diary.

22:47Declan Donnelly:Like what?

22:48Ant McPartlin:I'm going out for a day, a special day.

22:53Declan Donnelly:A special day?

22:54Ant McPartlin:Yeah, I'm going to football. Yeah, I'll also be going to football. You don't need to be clean shaming for that. Well, I need to look respectful. What if I get, what if they cut to me and I'm sitting there for match of the day? And they go, oh my God, who's this guy with a beard? What a scruff. What a strange, get rid of him. What a scruff. You don't need to be cleaning the shim for that. Oh yeah, well there's a few things I've gone in. I'll see if I can do it.

23:15Declan Donnelly:What do you mean, see if you can?

23:17Ant McPartlin:I'll just see if I've got time.

23:17Declan Donnelly:That's just ridiculous, look how easy this is. I know, but... Two days of not shaving, bang, like a man. Like a real man, bang, a beard comes out. Boof.

23:29Ant McPartlin:Well, let's see if I've got time this week. If I've got time, then I'll do it. You know you said Stephen Muller can't grow a beard. Yes. Well, I don't think you can. Apparently, he sent us a voicemail.

23:37Jamie Oliver:Has he? Hi, guys. How are you doing? It's me. Just a quick one. Obviously, I've been listening to your podcast, and I heard you talking about the shaving situation. Yeah, let me make it very clear. I can grow a beard. Yeah. If I go three days without shaving, yeah, I look like Dumbledore. How about that? And by the way, Ant, yes, I do ask Dec when he comes to see me at my home that he looks tip-top ship-shape. Same as you, thank you. Always. Learn a lesson.

24:06Declan Donnelly:Bye. Learn a lesson? What are you talking about, Dumbledore? He's never had stubble. I've never seen him. He might have said that on voicemail, but he's just lying. I've never seen him. He's lying to try and look hard on a podcast. He's never seen him. I've seen you with stubble in the past. Yeah, you see? That's when you could grow it.

24:25Ant McPartlin:Okay, well, let's see. If I can fit it in, I will...

24:28Declan Donnelly:Okay. I'll give them a go. Let's hope so. That's what the viewers want. How's your week been? I did have a pants update. They haven't arrived yet. Oh. I did order them. I ordered Jamie Oliver's ones, the ones that he banged on about.

24:40Ant McPartlin:But is he still wearing them?

24:42Declan Donnelly:Yeah, he can't take them off yet. Yeah. So they're coming in the post. So hopefully next week. Or we get Jamie Oliver on the pod. In his pants. In his pants. And I wear his, he wears mine, and we do like a pant off. Like having beef. Yeah. And if he could bring some beef. Yeah. Jamie if you're watching listening if you can bring some beef get on the pod and we'll have a pant off we can jump around a bit see how we feel see how the common technology really holds up yeah exactly you should do that I'd tune in the pants made me think of I went on hold a few weeks ago yes with the kids and my wife and the kids brought their boyfriends right so their 1917s they brought their boyfriends and everyone had a really good time and they were like down by the beach can we do the jet skis as a responsible parent, I said, I'm not comfortable with you doing jet skis because the boyfriend's all my children, you know, and if anything happened to them, I would feel awful.

25:37Declan Donnelly:So I was like, I'd rather you didn't do the jet skis. They said, oh, well, there is electric jet skis which don't go half as fast and you kind of just go around the bay. And I was like, yeah, knock yourself out. Like motorsports, just do what you want. They didn't knock themselves out. No, they did knock themselves out.

25:52Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

25:52Declan Donnelly:But they just kept going on them and going on them and going on them. And I was like, what harm they can't be that expensive oh you gotta pay for them well yes didn't think you did had to pay for them I thought it was you know you just get oh can I take the paddleboard out yeah of course you can oh can I take this out kayak yeah of course you can I thought can't be that bad but of course the girls have been taking out the jet skis the boyfriends have been taking out the jet skis they've been taking out the jet skis at the same time

26:21Ant McPartlin:is this another cost that we're gonna have to stop you on the street and ask you for

26:24Declan Donnelly:yeah no Yeah, for jet skis for not even a week because the first day and last day don't count. Don't count. So it's five days. There was a day in the middle when we took a boat trip. Four days. So four days of jet ski freedom came to... Oh, it's embarrassing. Tell me. Again. Tell me. No. Yeah.

26:49Ant McPartlin:No. Yeah. Can you believe it? No, I can't. And the worst thing about it is he got the bill, pooed his pants, and had to buy some more boxer shorts. So we made the very generous offer of saying to everybody, send us an SAE. And you would write in the price of the pants and send it to people who are overseas. Yes. Who are overseas listeners. Yeah. We didn't think about, we didn't think this through. Because to send an SAE, they need to send UK stamps. and they're not available overseas.

27:24Declan Donnelly:Is an airmail stamp still a thing?

27:26Ant McPartlin:I'm not sure.

27:26Declan Donnelly:If it is, send an airmail stamp. We'll airmail it to you.

27:28Ant McPartlin:We've had a lot of people saying, you haven't thought this through, guys. Which we haven't. We have now. We have now. But maybe... Maybe that. Maybe so if you can send an airmail. It'll be worth it.

27:39Declan Donnelly:Airmail stamps will be more expensive, but I'll put two fingers on there. The pants and the jet skis.

27:44Ant McPartlin:Okay.

27:45Declan Donnelly:So it'll be worth the price of an airmail. Two at the price of one.

27:48Ant McPartlin:Okay. Well, if that works, go for it. How's your week been? We had a visit from the tooth fairy this week. Oh, did you? Yes. Tooth number five is out of the mouth. So both her front teeth have gone. I noticed when I saw her. You saw it. There's a lot of gaps there. There is a lot. She looks like something off like a mini golf course. You know, you've got to put it through the mouth. That's a kind thing to say about your daughter, innit? But you know how the two front teeth have gone. You're like, what? She's like that. So yeah, we had the tooth fairy. I had to come around. It was less controversial than the last one.

28:18Ant McPartlin:the last one we lost the tooth and thought the dog had eaten the tooth right it turned up on the kitchen floor so but there was a lot of drama around that one when she thought the dog had eaten the tooth then we had to write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining that the dog had eaten the tooth then we found the tooth so we were able to put that under the pillow eventually the last one and she got she got a pound and a letter right so that is the

28:41Declan Donnelly:is that the golden rate for teeth in your house seems to be a pound a pound a tooth tooth fairy brings a pound right That might be interesting to find out what other tooth fairies bring.

28:50Ant McPartlin:Let us know in the comments or send us an email. What does your tooth fairy bring? What's the going rate? Did you hear Zayn Malik, the tooth fairy, brought£500? What? For a tooth? One tooth. Don't be ridiculous. I don't know where that tooth fairy flies in from. Oh my God, 500. Do you know how many teeth are in a kid's mouth?

29:09Declan Donnelly:20 teeth. 20 teeth. And a child's mouth. 10 grand. 10 grand. Zayn Malik's child's mouth will cost him, well, it won't cost him. No. Because the tooth fairy brings it. The tooth fairy brings it. But the child will earn£10 ,000.

29:24Ant McPartlin:But the tooth fairy also brings a letter. Is it different every time? Different every time. Go on, what's the... It's also a different tooth fairy every time. I don't know if you know that. I didn't know that. I thought it was the same one for each house. No, apparently not. No, it wasn't my day. And there are a veritable army of tooth fairies. Oh, is there, right, okay. We've had Clara Bell. Yeah. Lulu Belle Trixie Belle and the latest one was Flossie Flossie Belle no just Flossie don't be stupid

29:54Declan Donnelly:how come the rest are all part of the Belle family and Flossie is I don't know maybe they've retired

30:00Ant McPartlin:maybe no I think they're all friends oh they right okay but Flossie writes a letter like I know you're trying hard at school well done keep it up okay that's nice your tooth was lovely and white you must take care brushing your teeth did the tooth fairies

30:11Declan Donnelly:ever explain what they do with the teeth? We know that they give you money for them.

30:15Ant McPartlin:What do they do with the teeth? Our Tooth Fairy. Eat them? No, no, no, they don't. Our Tooth Fairy put them in a little pot and put them on the mantelpiece of my bedroom because I found them.

30:27Declan Donnelly:Really? Why would she do that? Flossie bet one of the bells.

30:31Ant McPartlin:All the bells. All you bells. Oh, you bells. You bells. Yeah, they put them in a tub on the mantelpiece. Silly bells. But yeah, pound is the going rate in my household. So I'd love to know what it is everywhere else. Zane Malik need not reply. We know what yours is.

30:49Declan Donnelly:We also went to the bakery. Oh yeah, lovely. That's a lovely picture. That's attractive. Thanks, guys. Why would you pick that? So if you're just listening to this, Deb and I are dressed in white coats and we've got hair nets on and we look like the Victoria Wood sitcom Dinner Ladies. That is the worst picture. Why would you pick that? You could have picked.

31:11Ant McPartlin:We stood the wrong way around. It's Deccanant. It's nice and sexy. Come on.

31:19Declan Donnelly:Yeah, we went to the bakery. Oh my God, it was great. And then we had a big tasting session afterwards. Oh my God, all the new products. So we're partners in Northern Door Corp, if you don't know about it. So we're talking about the next kind of collection of foods that we're going to bring out. It's so good. We went to the bakery, went to speak to everyone. It was really good. We looked very attractive in our hairnets. And then afterwards we sat down and they just kept bringing dish after dish. It was tremendous. What was your favourite thing that we had?

31:46Ant McPartlin:The doubles covered in the... Chilli. Chilli. Garlic and chilli. They were great, weren't they?

31:52Declan Donnelly:So good. And they're like, do you want to take any home? Do you want to take some home? I took so much. I was leaving and it fell out of my arms. As I was leaving, I'd kind of stacked myself up too much. It looked like an episode of Cracker Jack. Yeah, it did. Well, that's a good reference, isn't it? No, no, no. That's a good reference. I see you're on the screen again. Looks like it. In your butt cut. Butt cut. I got it right.

32:14Ant McPartlin:Butt cut. Dirty socks.

32:15Declan Donnelly:Butt cut. Dirty socks. A floral bed sheet. It means it's time for Dex Diary. We've got a jingle. Want to hear it? Yes, please. Here it is.

32:29Jamie Oliver:Shh. Don't tell a soul.

32:31Declan Donnelly:Oh, this is wonderful.

32:34Jamie Oliver:What's he thinking? Let's take a look. Give me the hat back. In the pages of his secret book, it's Dex Diary.

32:51Declan Donnelly:Yeah! That was absolutely tremendous. Who was that from?

32:57Jamie Oliver:Adam.

32:58Declan Donnelly:Well done. Didn't sound like an Adam, did it? Well done, Adam. That was wonderful. That was the best one yet. That was, I mean, that was everything that you love. It is. Yeah. West End Musical. He loves it. Takes a lot of boxes. You like all that, don't you? I love it. Loves it. He loves it. Takes a lot of boxes. It does. I feel like the diary's got a lot to live up to. I can't remember where we were because we had Double Bubble last week, didn't we? We did have Double Bubble. We had Easter Sunday. We had Easter Sunday. And Bank Holder Monday. Yeah, we did. So this, if my maths is correct, this should be the Tuesday.

33:30Ant McPartlin:Well done, Poirot. Thank you. This is the 5th of April, 1994. day nine of life on the road up at 10.30 10.30 10.30

33:41Declan Donnelly:that's good I'm good at remembering what time we got up that's the time I expect pop stars to get up yeah 10.30 do you know what I mean 12 o 'clock's way too late too late and 7.45 was the other day pop stars don't get up that's too early 10.30 that's a pop star time to get up

33:54Ant McPartlin:up at 10.30 do some faunas from hotel reception right noisy cleaners

34:01Declan Donnelly:did you swear it did you swear it I swore in my diary he swore in his diary why are you so annoyed because you were trying to do phone interviews

34:09Ant McPartlin:trying to do phone interviews and the cleaners were obviously noisy in reception such a pro

34:14Declan Donnelly:such a pro isn't he yes he wants the interviews to go well he doesn't want the cleaners messing things up go on we left after a little chef breakfast ah I remember the little chef we had a breakfast at the little chef we love a little chef are they still going little chefs they must be

34:29Jamie Oliver:no they're not no what when did they when did they finish I don't know, but they have gone.

34:35Declan Donnelly:We went to a little chef once, and were you folding over your deckhand sachet of tomato ketchup?

34:43Ant McPartlin:And I was playing with it.

34:44Declan Donnelly:And he was playing with it, and he folded it over like this. And the urge got the better of us. And I stabbed it with a fork like that, and it squirted across the little chef and landed in this little girl's blonde hair.

34:58Ant McPartlin:The family on the table over there.

35:00Declan Donnelly:Oh, my God. what an absolute that felt awful awful if you owe that girl who the tomato sauce went in your hair at the Little Chef and it was and we were there I bet she was thinking I apologise very good very good

35:20Ant McPartlin:anywho anyway and drove to Liverpool okay yeah after our Little Chef breakfast we drove to Liverpool looked around the Albert dock didn't see Richard and Judy anywhere they used to do this morning from the Albert Dock, didn't they? Left the dock and went to Pleasure Island. Oh, Blackpool? No, Pleasure Island. Hello! I must have liked it. It's a big Metroland type thing. So it must be like an indoor...

35:46Declan Donnelly:Oh, yeah, indoor funfair. Funfair.

35:49Ant McPartlin:And yep, it was the Easter holidays. We signed over 250 autographs and didn't, underlined, go bowling.

36:02Ant McPartlin:I think I must have really wanted to go bowling. You really wanted to go bowling. I really wanted to go bowling. He used to love bowling. I did. I was good at it. I was really good at it. The club wasn't full, but the girls there made... Oh, God, he made himself laugh. The club wasn't full, but the girls there made nuff noise.

36:19Declan Donnelly:Nuff? You've wrote nuff? Have you spelt that? N-U-F-F. Oh, my God. Just as you think, it's cringed, the pinnacle of cringe mountain. The mountain is bigger than you think Isn't it? It's just a cloud It's just a cloud And there's another peak Beyond the cringe top

36:37Ant McPartlin:The stage was a Slippery raised dance floor And all the girls Seemed to have too many hormones Enough hormones you mean The thing that topped it off Was the bra that landed on my head From a girl at the back Crazy With a K? No with a C-E-R Crazy Crazy. We left Liverpool about 9.45 for the long drive to London. Eventually arrived after 1.30am. Big breakfast in the morning. Yeah. Little chef? No. On the telly. Oh, on the show, the big breakfast. Right. We're going to be on the big breakfast. That's a shame. We're going to be on the big breakfast in the morning. Very good. Very good. Crazy. Crazy.

37:21Ant McPartlin:Crazy. Make enough noise. Oh, God, I'm looking forward to next week. Why? I don't know. It's just cringe. Again.

37:30Declan Donnelly:Again. You kind of think it's embarrassing, but it can't get any more embarrassed than what you've said. Then it does.

37:37Ant McPartlin:Yeah.

37:37Declan Donnelly:Tune in next week. This is an advert for Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant.

37:43Ant McPartlin:Now I've been thinking. Yeah. We've had a few comments saying about we need a bit more energy in the show, a bit more pizzazz.

37:51Declan Donnelly:Pizzazz?

37:51Ant McPartlin:Who said that? That's what the word... Who used the word pizzazz? That is a word that was used that they want more of in the show. Right. So I thought a way we could do it is by using Gemini to pizzazz up our theme tune. Okay, okay then. So have a look at this. Create music. Oh, you can pick a track to remix. Yeah, so what style? Help me do 8-bit. So you put in here, what do we want it to reference? Bananas. Yeah, Burnfeet. Burnfeet, Bananas. Dex Diary. Yeah. And Backstories of Saints.

38:24Declan Donnelly:Origin Stories of Saints.

38:26Ant McPartlin:Here we go. I've created your 8-bit chip tune The track's ready to play Well let's play it then

38:31Jamie Oliver:Hit it! Got Ant's banana record Go! Deck's burnt feet are on the road Deck's diary and saintly lore Plus the post bag and so much more It's the podcast for you and me The best of times with Ant and Deck A and T and Deck Did Gemini make this?

38:58Declan Donnelly:That's bloody good. That is good, isn't it? Yeah, I didn't know you could do that. Thanks, Gemini. With Gemini, you can create custom jingles.

39:06Ant McPartlin:Whether that's a funny musical birthday message for friends

39:09Declan Donnelly:or a personalised soundtrack for photos in your camera roll.

39:12Ant McPartlin:It's an easy way to create and share music. Just describe what you want to hear and let Gemini handle the rest. Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

39:24Declan Donnelly:Limit supply, setup required, compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus, create responsibly.

39:33Ant McPartlin:I'm not an astronaut.

39:35Jamie Oliver:I don't need an astronaut. Audiences have spoken. Project Hail Mary is an awe-inspiring masterpiece.

39:42Declan Donnelly:So, I met an alien.

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40:36Ant McPartlin:Should we dive into the post bag? Yes, please. Without the dance? Without the dance. No dance today. I'll get the post bag.

40:41Declan Donnelly:There you are. Take your pick. Right, I will. This is from Ryan in Belfast. He says, As I'm sure both Ant and Dec are familiar with the Catholic confirmation, a part of the tradition is to pick a saint's name, to almost add it to your own name, like a middle name, and to act as a role model. My brother, aged around 10, chose Anthony as his papermans said to follow. To the absolute delight of my mother and grandmother, it was only after the ceremony, when there was a meet and greet with the bishop, that my brother decided it was the perfect time to tell the bishop that he chose the name, not after the 13th century Franciscan priest, but after the Leeds United fought, Tony Yamoah.

41:22Declan Donnelly:No way. Tony! He's not a Tony! Being a huge Leeds fan, the bishop was less than impressed, but just laughed. My mother wanted to kill him. Still a story we'll laugh about almost 30 years later. Love the show, lads. Ryan from Belfast. Oh, thanks, Ryan. But that's weird, though. What? Because his favourite player was Tony Yabour. So he went for St. Anthony. He went for St. Anthony.

41:47Ant McPartlin:Kind of works. Yeah, I know what you mean, though. It's like if anybody now is a fan of Tony Mack. Nobody's a fan of Tony Mack. Nobody is a fan of Tony Mack. You're not.

41:56Declan Donnelly:I wonder whether Tony Yabour has the same grievances with being called Anthony as I do being called Tony. Oh yeah, he goes, I'm not an Anthony. Yeah, I'm not an Anthony. I'm a Tony. Yeah.

42:07Ant McPartlin:Tony Yaboa. That's a good story. That is a very good story.

42:10Declan Donnelly:What were your names when you got confirmed?

42:13Ant McPartlin:Ordinarily. I'm Declan Joseph Oliver. Yes. And my confirmation name was Michael. Michael. Michael. Michael Knight from Knight Rider. Knight Rider, that's exactly who I was named after. Michael Knight.

42:24Declan Donnelly:Yeah, of course, I knew it.

42:25Ant McPartlin:Very good. Thanks, Ryan. This is from Lily. Hey, guys. Hi, Lily. Listening last week, I suddenly had a flashback to when I was in uni in Durham back in 2019. And the city decided to make an ice sculpture out of your heads. What? What? Did they? What? What? Oh my goodness. What the heck? I had to walk past it every day at lectures and would crack up. Probably like the heads when the sun came out. Wish I'd taken more pics, but here's the half-melted one I could find. It's given horror film. Love, Lily. Wow, Lily. I didn't know that was a thing. That is news to me.

42:57Declan Donnelly:That is, we never knew about this. We weren't informed about this. we weren't asked permission. I suppose it's an honour, isn't it? It's an honour. I mean, we're the wrong way around. Would you get small enough that you could just pop yourself into a drink at the end? That would be the dream. That would be the dream, wouldn't it?

43:12Ant McPartlin:It'd be something to look forward to, wouldn't it?

43:14Declan Donnelly:Just pop yourself in an Aperol Spritz. That's very good, though. If you have seen us anywhere, I know there's ostriches or emus named after us. In Battersea Zoo. In Battersea Zoo. But if there's any other instances of us being named after anything, please send them in ice sculptures we don't know about any of this no

43:33Ant McPartlin:and Durham council you will be hearing from all of us

43:37Declan Donnelly:yes so this one's from Pete hello Pete says hi Ant hi Ant I write this email with a very sad heart and a shaky hand as I feel it will continue to compound Deck's portrayal of you Deck and I met for our usual catch up in Portugal last summer what What? Oh, we did, yeah. Yeah, we did. Having met you both when myself and my friends, the lads from Newcastle, were on and won, Friends Like These, around 2000, 2001, Dec assured me that you are invited to the lunch. However, if I knew then what I know now, namely that Dec has been secretly at photo sessions and watching Oasis, I suspect you are blissfully unaware and I want to apologise, but attached is the evidence.

44:28Declan Donnelly:I wasn't aware. What the hell is going on there?

44:31Ant McPartlin:You've got a big mouth, Pete. What is going on there? I just went out for lunch. With Pete? With Pete from Friends. I know that restaurant. Yeah. That's Maria's restaurant in Portugal. That's Pete from Friends Like Lees.

44:41Declan Donnelly:That's where, I bet I was just up the road because we go to Portugal at the same time every year together.

44:46Ant McPartlin:We do, yeah.

44:47Declan Donnelly:So when does Pete go?

44:48Ant McPartlin:Pete goes in the summer as well. But me and Pete have kept in touch since Friends Like Lees. Oh, have you? Since Friends Like Lees. Yeah. So we kind of meet up Most summers

44:57Declan Donnelly:What is going on? You think you know someone For 30 odd years And then suddenly All of this comes out I'm gobsmacked I'm shocked I'm surprised Pete was supposed to keep that To himself Well he didn't Thank you Pete Thank you For being loud A bit like Dex shirt Being loud And letting me know What's going on

45:17Ant McPartlin:Keep all your emails All your voice notes Any jingles Anything at all Coming into us hanging out at belterbox.com we love getting them

45:24Declan Donnelly:that's it that's all we've got time for that was a good one that was I enjoyed that good so did I it's until next week Monday

45:30Ant McPartlin:it's your jacket brightened the whole thing up did it good I liked it

45:33Declan Donnelly:sorted your three quarters in can you all the way up oh look now you're in the million who knows now pop out like a turtle pop out like a turtle

45:53Declan Donnelly:if you're only listening Dexter's pop his head out he's three quarters hip like a turtle that's the reason to subscribe to better box I've got a turtle set oh and with that we must go

46:06Ant McPartlin:thanks for listening keep in touch thanks for watching hanging out at betterbox.com we'll see you back here on Monday for another bonus but until then bye guys respect guys respect guys see ya See you later. Bye. Bye.

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