Ant’s Antarctica Theory & Dec’s Rod Stewart Dream

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2:05Declan Donnelly:Da da da da da da da da da da Ooh, hello everybody Good morning, good evening Welcome back to The Hangout For another hanging out with me and him I've just plumped the discussion jar on the table because it is another discussion jar episode. But before we get into that, I would like to bring to your attention that I haven't been given any bananas recently. For your spending? For my spending. That is true. My self-imposed, self-inflicted spending ban. Have you stuck to your spending ban? Yes, I have. Are you sure? What do you mean? What do you mean? Of course I'm sure. Why would I not be sure? Why do you think I'm inadvertently bought something?

2:45Declan Donnelly:Well, I'm just checking. It would be remiss of me not to check, would it not? It would. It would. I didn't buy any new trainers, which is killing me. Have you been tempted? Yes. Massively tempted. What if you tell us what you've been tempted to buy? There is a new style of Axel Arigatos out there, but I can't buy them. There was arteries I love. I like that sit. New trainers. I've got them. Have you? Yeah, I've got them. Ha ha. And that's it, really. I mean, how stuff I bought? Because it's a necessity. Because it's a necessity. Yeah. Was the big green egg barbecue a necessity? You know, those big green egg barbecues?

3:27Declan Donnelly:Yes. It's because you cook on it. I've got to feed my children. Thank you, Declan. Or you want them to starve? Do you want my kids to starve? Do you? Answer that. Do they have to be cooked on such a fancy pants, big green? Yes, it's barbecue season. They like barbecues. Do you expect my kids to starve from lack of barbecues? Can't you get a disposable foil one? That would still be buying something though, wouldn't it? So this is buying something. I don't know. Like up to now, I've bought nothing. Zero. Is that allowed? A fancy pants new barbecue? Well, bearing in mind, the case for the defence is I've just moved house, right?

4:08Declan Donnelly:In my old house, I had a barbecue outside, but it was fitted in, bricked in and all that kind of stuff so I couldn't bring it with me because it had to stay. Okay, right, right, right, right, right. So I had to buy a new thing but it only just arrived. Ah, actually it's arrived recently but I put the order in two months ago. So if we work the clock back surely that was prior to my spending ban. Was it? I don't know. No more questions, my lord. Your witness. Do I get some bananas or not? yeah you do get yes yes yes and I think we've missed some so actually I still haven't bought that new putter because we played golf the other day right with friends of ours and my putting was letting me down and my mate went try mine and it's one of those fancy pants long ones you know like the big grip big like a pendulum style putter and I tried it and oh my god it's amazing and the old would it be immediately in the pro shop yeah I would have How much is these?

5:10Declan Donnelly:Can I have one of these? But I didn't. I was like, that's a very nice putter. I will put it on my Christmas list. Oh. Oh, that's nice. Thanks. Is your birthday before Christmas? Oh, my birthday list then. Yeah. It's also my wedding anniversary in the summer. Just saying. I don't think you're going to get a golf club for your wedding anniversary. Why? Why not? That's not very... Yeah. Five years. It's a putter, innit? Is it? Five years. It's a putter. Come on, get your dish. Oh, yeah. Get me a banana dish. Get your banana dish. Won't get in there. I reckon I'm missing a couple of weeks, by the way.

5:44Declan Donnelly:Thank you very kindly. There you go. Two bananas. Thank you, Adam. What we got? Discussion jar, then. Yeah, we do have the discussion jar. Shall we delve right into it? Do you need to give us any background? YouTube? Hegla's Corner? Hold the front page. Who's giving me a mint tea? Oh, why are you making that noise? Is this tea? Oh! Stop. the pod. Ah, stop the pod from making that noise. I want to get off. A mint tea. Do you not like mint tea? No, I'm a dexterous mint tea kind of guy. I'll have a mint tea after dinner. Oh, well, how are they minting all that? People are just doing their jobs. What, you want to fire someone?

6:23Might do. Fancy, yeah.

6:25Declan Donnelly:Don't look him in the eye. Don't look him in the eye and you'll get fired. Don't worry about it. It's got to be a bad pod, guys. Yes, fine, thanks. Thanks, no, no, no, you're good, thank you. It's going to be a terrible pod. No, it's no problem. You're fired. You're fired. Clear your desk. So we're coming up to the middle of June. We're going up to the middle of June, which of course is the short, sorry, the longest day of the year. Longest day of the year. So I've popped in some long themed things. Long themed topics. Some long topics. Ooh, long topics. Are they family friendly? They are, thank you.

6:58Declan Donnelly:Okay. Okay. A long topic. Get your specs or shall I go first? You go first. Okay. This is the 13th floor long elevator lie. Almost every high rise hotel and building skips the 13th floor on the elevator button panel out of superstition. The silly conspiracy, the 13th floor does exist, but it's where the hotel chains hide the good stuff. Secret luxury casinos, VIP lounges for the Illuminati or a massive building wide ball pit. Disgust. Oh, I'd love that to be true. I love that. I love ball pits. That's what I take from this discussion topic. I'm trying to think now if there's 13th floor buttons and lifts in hotels.

7:47I don't think there is. There's not in planes either. No row 13.

7:51Declan Donnelly:There's no row 13 in planes? No, no. Isn't there? Shut your face. Okay. Next time you go to Australia, leave your row one and walk all the way back. We're all the way back to roll 13 and check. I'm going to have a look at that. I'm getting on a plane in a couple of days. I'm going to have a look. Go on then. Report back. Report back. Please do. But I have heard the hotel, that a lot of hotels don't have a 13th floor for obvious reasons. They say, but... Do you know what though? This is a bigger discussion because 13 being an unlucky number, right, is something which is, I think, fundamentally false because there should be, we've discussed this before, 13 months of the year.

8:41Declan Donnelly:And if there was 13 months of the year, every month would have 28 days. There should be 13 zodiac signs. Like 13 should be out there more than it is, but it's been buried. Why is it being vilified and demonized? Because otherwise it would open our mind too much and we wouldn't know it all. And the people on the 13th floor in that ball pit. People who are in the ball pit playing blackjack and roulette, they're living the best life and they're just gatekeeping it all. They're gatekeeping all the good stuff for themselves. The Illuminati. Yes, the Illuminati. We're onto something here. We are. What do you think of this one?

9:19The long-legged giraffe cover-up. There is a fiercely sarcastic corner of the internet that insists... I loathe the fiercely sarcastic corner of the internet. That insists giraffes do not exist. The theory claims they are actually top secret government surveillance drones. Oh, give off. Their long necks aren't for reaching leaves. They are highly elevated 5G antennas and camera periscopes designed to peer over compound walls and into second story windows. Yeah, yeah.

9:47Declan Donnelly:You're talking nonsense. When we were in South Africa, we saw, we met quite a few giraffes. We did. They were lovely. Very nice. They didn't come across as spies to me. No, they did. Not to me. Not to me. But maybe they were good. Maybe they're very good. Double-aged. Some of the best spies don't come across as spies, do they? No. I'm not having that. That is something that we can just stop right here. Pigeons, yes. Yes. We all agree pigeons are spies. That's the fact. Giraffes are not spies. Do you trust people with long legs? Oh, yeah. Very much so. You do? Yeah. The shorter the leg, the most mistrustant?

10:22Yeah, the more they're not to be trusted. Right, okay.

10:25Declan Donnelly:So should we trust you? Never. Never. Next discussion point. Thoughts on raw dogging a long flight. What? Taking a long-haul flight completely unassisted by any forms of entertainment. No movies, no music, no books. And sometimes without food, water or sleep. Often staring only at the in-flight map. Well, well, well. We have a friend who does this. and it took us all by surprise. He was doing this before road-dogging was a thing. Yeah. We flew all the way to Vegas and he just sat looking at the map and we're like, he's crazy. He did. How long was the fact? It was like 10 hours. 10 hours. All the way to Vegas and he just looked at the map.

11:07Did he change the different maps?

11:08Declan Donnelly:No. No, he sat like this. No. And I kept looking, I'm going, he was so intent. I said, what's he watching? I'm going to go and find out what he's watching because it looks great. Because he was really into it. Turns out it was the map. He road-dogged it. Before road dogging was the thing, road dogging wasn't even a thing. It hadn't been invented. This was five years ago, six years ago. I think he's a nervous flyer and he just wanted to make sure he was still flying. And he's like, how long is, how much longer we got? Do you reckon? I don't know. He didn't seem very nervous. Legs crossed, head in his hands, smiling away.

11:41Declan Donnelly:Maybe he just loves maps. Maybe he loves maps. Maybe. Have you ever road dogged a flight? No. Often I won't watch a movie, as you know. and I won't have any food or drink. What do you mean you won't have any food or drink? Well, I'll have a glass of water when I get on. Yeah, I was going to say. But often I'll just get on and go to sleep. Oh, give over your psychopath. Well, not this again. But I would never do it without Missy Dogo Book. Shut up, man. That's like making it 10 times worse. You've got to have a little Sudoku. No, you want to get on a flight and you want to just completely just zone out.

12:14Declan Donnelly:So I want to be entertained. Greatly entertained. Yeah. Where can I put a five in this row? hmm I can't because I've got one in the box already that's not really entertaining that's quite entertaining for me no it's not there's a woman we saw on a flight and she was doing a crossword when we got on recently did you do her a little a little nod did you nod did you and her nod across the aisle to one another fellow puzzle fan

12:40Declan Donnelly:good evening puzzlers I'm not into road dogging you love a movie don't you I love a movie yeah I love a documentary love a podcast I love anything thing if you get on a flight and it's a night flight do you not think oh i should go straight to sleep here never never no no you don't think oh if i if i get on now go straight to sleep i'll be eight hours sleep i'll wake up the next i don't think like you i don't think of like eight hours i count on the hours i don't have a ring that tells me if i've slept well or not slept well the lines around my eyes will tell you whether i've slept well or not slept well well guys yeah I'm not into that I like to get on and the thing is because it's uninterrupted normally for us as well you know you get to go on a flight and you get to fly to Australia for example South Africa for work I can't wait to get on that flight because there's no phones there's no emails I mean of course you can't get wifi now but who's switching wifi on have you ever switched wifi on a flight?

13:43Declan Donnelly:oh yeah what on earth Who are you? Why? Sometimes when I need a hint. Oh, shut up. You're winding me up. You're winding me up. I'm just like, right, this is it. I'm going to get an uninterrupted version of this movie. Nah. I couldn't raw dog it. I don't see the point. Nah, I don't. I think it's a bit of a wasted opportunity. You think it's impressive if people can raw dog? Nah. No. I think it's just stupid. I think it's boring and stupid and they should grow up. But I don't understand what you get out of it. You don't. It's not hard. Would you say that to someone on the flight if you want to ask them?

14:12Declan Donnelly:Yeah, you're not hard. Maybe they're having some really deep, deep thoughts. Yeah, that's okay. A little bit of contemplation, I don't mind. I'm okay with that. When I take the dogs for a walk, right, I won't listen to a podcast. I won't put music in. I just like to think because there's very little time to think these days when you're not distracted by your phone or whatever. So I think sometimes just giving yourself a bit of contemplation time is good because then you can come to decisions that you wouldn't necessarily come to. If they're doing it for contemplation, fine. If they're doing it for a TikTok, not so fine.

14:47Yeah, exactly.

14:48Declan Donnelly:If you're filming yourself raw dogging it, you're not raw dogging it. You idiot. The three and a half thousand mile dingo fence cover-up conspiracy. It's a long title, isn't it? I'm still trying to work it out. Australia has a real structure called the dingo fence or dog fence. It is roughly 3 ,500 miles, that's 5 ,600 kilometres to you, long. designed to keep wild dingoes out of fertile sheep grazing land. Right. Because it's so heavily restricted, a massive TikTok stroke internet conspiracy insists that the fence isn't for dogs at all. It's actually hiding the edge of the world, comma, giant monsters, comma, or a secret gateway to another lush undiscovered continent with a massive ball pit.

15:35Declan Donnelly:I added that bit on the end. Well, I don't agree with that because everybody who knows the internet knows that the secret continent is beyond Antarctica. Everybody knows that. What? Yes, that's where the secret continent is. That's where the aliens come from. That's where it's lush and it's green. And the humans, like modern day humans, have, you know, the ones that we see in the sky, in the UAPs, right? The ones that have been disclosed by the US government. It's actually us from the future. But we whiz back and forward to Antarctica and that's where we live. So it's not Australia. You've got that wrong.

16:12Declan Donnelly:I've never heard this theory. Yeah, you have. So, you know, there's been a treaty that was signed years ago that you can only go to Antarctica if you've been given special permission by a country who is part of the treaty. So, and is this part of the thing that all of the countries own part of Antarctica? That Antarctica has been split? Yes. And various countries have control of different parts of Antarctica. Yeah. Is that right? Well, it's kind of that, but it's more of a treaty that we can't do, we can't do something without getting the yes from everybody else. Right, okay. But you can't just go there.

16:46Declan Donnelly:So say if you were in a boat, and loads of people have made TikToks and stuff about getting to the ice wall, as they call it, and trying to scale the ice wall. And some have kind of made it to the top of the ice wall, but then you don't get any further because you get sent back. And like naval vessels will come and send you back. So you're not allowed. So over the ice wall is where the people from the future live. Right, yeah, the future. There's another civilization there. Do you think David Attenborough knows? David Attenborough must know something. Jemima's got a hand in the air. I heard a conspiracy about David Attenborough that I thought you both might like.

17:19Oh, I've heard this. That David Attenborough is actually God and he's come down because he was fed up with all of us not taking care of the earth and he's come down to try and make us appreciate it more.

17:31Declan Donnelly:I like that. I like it a lot. I'll go with that. I'll go with that. I'll have that. David Attenborough is God. That's a good tattoo. so if I don't agree with the tattoo ideas that come through I'm just going to get that David Alambrose God and his tactic for making us appreciate was just making loads of dogs yeah well you would though wouldn't you yeah that's how you reach the most people art changes the world art does change the world what other way to reach the people than through television that's why we do it so we demigods yeah yeah thanks okay angels cherubs ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Art and for us cherubs yeah that's a good tattoo David Attenborough they'd use cherubs either side yeah we'll take that so we're not having the dingoes no yeah we've digressed a lot no I'm not having the dingoes because we all know everybody who knows the internet knows that the secret civilization and UFOs and everything that is reserved is in Antarctica this one is specifically to you although I will comment if I feel it is needed thoughts on matcha Ah, well, as a green tea connoisseur, I'm not a big fan.

18:42Why? I don't get it. It's a bit too much. I know some people think that green tea is a bit of an acquired taste, which I agree with when you first start, but matcha's a different level. It's rotten. It is horrible.

18:54Declan Donnelly:No, but I don't like it. I know a lot of people do like it, but... I've never had a good one. I've tried it loads. With the kids, my daughter used to drink it. She went through a period of drinking it loads. but then even then when she drank it she would always have something in it yeah of course because it's foul no I'm not no we're not having it I don't understand I don't understand why people drink it is it for health benefits I guess so yeah it's like less of a caffeine like intense caffeine hit I think alright okay slower release I bet you like matcha I love it I knew it I knew it oh yeah because I'm really trendy I live in a trendy part of London and I'm part of the trendy me just set and I drink matcha this next bit is brought to you by Gemini Google's AI app so it's a discussion topic which isn't in the jar but because the jar is open I think we can discuss it oh go on remember a couple of weeks ago when I talked about how good I am at packing yes but that's for like a weekend but for longer trips like the summer holidays when I'm going to Portugal or when we go to Australia or when we go to Australia we're there for four or five weeks that is tricky So I thought I'd use Gemini to find the best way, the most efficient way to pack for a long period of time.

20:09Declan Donnelly:That is a great idea. Gemini, can I have smart ways to cut the luggage weight? Buy your toiletries at a Portuguese supermarket on arrival. That's a great idea. I've never thought of that before. Pack for one week and do laundry halfway through. Pack ultra thin Turkish towels. That's a good idea too. Two hours on a flight though. It's quite a long time with a two-year-old. Can I borrow that for a second? Gemini, what are a few small and light items that I can pack that are guaranteed to keep a toddler quietly entertained without making noise that disturbs the rest of the cabin? For a toddler on a flight, the secret is finding items that are mess-free and don't make any noise.

20:50You could pack a roll of painter's tape, which is fantastic for sticking things down and peeling off easily without leaving any residue, or some suction cup spinners that stick to the tray table. I think the child would prefer the tape. I think I would not prefer the tape. I'm going to end up around my head, isn't it?

21:08Declan Donnelly:Now, you're always late for things. So I thought this is a good one for Gemini. Don't call that face. Gemini, I live about an hour away from the airport by call. Flight to Portugal is 2 p.m. So I need some buffer time. Build me a foolproof plan for a calm pre-flight trip. This is good. Oh, there's a reverse engineer timeline for a 2 p.m. flight. The last chance sweep a lockup at 9 a.m. Teens, double check their own tech charges and passports. Load the car now. Do not leave loading until departure window. 9.30, departure from the house. Leaving now gives you massive, massive safety net. 10.30, you arrive at the airport.